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  • The Project Gutenberg EBook of Mike, by P. G. Wodehouse
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  • Title: Mike
  • Author: P. G. Wodehouse
  • Release Date: June 15, 2004 [EBook #7423]
  • Language: English
  • *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MIKE ***
  • Produced by Suzanne L. Shell, Jim Tinsley, Charles Franks
  • and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
  • With thanks to Amherst College Library.
  • MIKE
  • A PUBLIC SCHOOL STORY
  • BY
  • P. G. WODEHOUSE
  • CONTAINING TWELVE FULL-PAGE ILLUSTRATIONS
  • BY T. M. R. WHITWELL
  • LONDON
  • 1909.
  • [Illustration (Frontispiece): "ARE YOU THE M. JACKSON THEN WHO HAD AN
  • AVERAGE OF FIFTY ONE POINT NOUGHT THREE LAST YEAR?"]
  • [Dedication]
  • TO
  • ALAN DURAND
  • CONTENTS
  • CHAPTER
  • I. MIKE
  • II. THE JOURNEY DOWN
  • III. MIKE FINDS A FRIENDLY NATIVE
  • IV. AT THE NETS
  • V. REVELRY BY NIGHT
  • VI. IN WHICH A TIGHT CORNER IS EVADED
  • VII. IN WHICH MIKE IS DISCUSSED
  • VIII. A ROW WITH THE TOWN
  • IX. BEFORE THE STORM
  • X. THE GREAT PICNIC
  • XI. THE CONCLUSION OF THE PICNIC
  • XII. MIKE GETS HIS CHANCE
  • XIII. THE M.C.C. MATCH
  • XIV. A SLIGHT IMBROGLIO
  • XV. MIKE CREATES A VACANCY
  • XVI. AN EXPERT EXAMINATION
  • XVII. ANOTHER VACANCY
  • XVIII. BOB HAS NEWS TO IMPART
  • XIX. MIKE GOES TO SLEEP AGAIN
  • XX. THE TEAM IS FILLED UP
  • XXI. MARJORY THE FRANK
  • XXII. WYATT IS REMINDED OF AN ENGAGEMENT
  • XXIII. A SURPRISE FOR MR. APPLEBY
  • XXIV. CAUGHT
  • XXV. MARCHING ORDERS
  • XXVI. THE AFTERMATH
  • XXVII. THE RIPTON MATCH
  • XXVIII. MIKE WINS HOME
  • XXIX. WYATT AGAIN
  • XXX. MR. JACKSON MAKES UP HIS MIND
  • XXXI. SEDLEIGH
  • XXXII. PSMITH
  • XXXIII. STAKING OUT A CLAIM
  • XXXIV. GUERILLA WARFARE
  • XXXV. UNPLEASANTNESS IN THE SMALL HOURS
  • XXXVI. ADAIR
  • XXXVII. MIKE FINDS OCCUPATION
  • XXXVIII. THE FIRE BRIGADE MEETING
  • XXXIX. ACHILLES LEAVES HIS TENT
  • XL. THE MATCH WITH DOWNING'S
  • XLI. THE SINGULAR BEHAVIOUR OF JELLICOE
  • XLII. JELLICOE GOES ON THE SICK-LIST
  • XLIII. MIKE RECEIVES A COMMISSION
  • XLIV. AND FULFILS IT
  • XLV. PURSUIT
  • XLVI. THE DECORATION OF SAMMY
  • XLVII. MR. DOWNING ON THE SCENT
  • XLVIII. THE SLEUTH-HOUND
  • XLIX. A CHECK
  • L. THE DESTROYER OF EVIDENCE
  • LI. MAINLY ABOUT BOOTS
  • LII. ON THE TRAIL AGAIN
  • LIII. THE KETTLE METHOD
  • LIV. ADAIR HAS A WORD WITH MIKE
  • LV. CLEARING THE AIR
  • LVI. IN WHICH PEACE IS DECLARED
  • LVII. MR. DOWNING MOVES
  • LVIII. THE ARTIST CLAIMS HIS WORK
  • LIX. SEDLEIGH _v._ WRYKYN
  • LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
  • BY T. M. R. WHITWELL
  • "ARE YOU THE M. JACKSON, THEN, WHO HAD AN AVERAGE OF FIFTY-ONE POINT
  • NOUGHT THREE LAST YEAR?"
  • THE DARK WATERS WERE LASHED INTO A MAELSTROM
  • "DON'T _LAUGH_, YOU GRINNING APE"
  • "DO--YOU--SEE, YOU FRIGHTFUL KID?"
  • "WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT JIMMY WYATT?"
  • MIKE AND THE BALL ARRIVED ALMOST SIMULTANEOUSLY
  • "WHAT THE DICKENS ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
  • PSMITH SEIZED AND EMPTIED JELLICOE'S JUG OVER SPILLER
  • "WHY DID YOU SAY YOU DIDN'T PLAY CRICKET?" HE ASKED
  • "WHO--" HE SHOUTED, "WHO HAS DONE THIS?"
  • "DID--YOU--PUT--THAT--BOOT--THERE, SMITH?"
  • MIKE DROPPED THE SOOT-COVERED OBJECT IN THE FENDER
  • CHAPTER I
  • MIKE
  • It was a morning in the middle of April, and the Jackson family were
  • consequently breakfasting in comparative silence. The cricket season
  • had not begun, and except during the cricket season they were in the
  • habit of devoting their powerful minds at breakfast almost exclusively
  • to the task of victualling against the labours of the day. In May,
  • June, July, and August the silence was broken. The three grown-up
  • Jacksons played regularly in first-class cricket, and there was always
  • keen competition among their brothers and sisters for the copy of the
  • _Sportsman_ which was to be found on the hall table with the
  • letters. Whoever got it usually gloated over it in silence till urged
  • wrathfully by the multitude to let them know what had happened; when
  • it would appear that Joe had notched his seventh century, or that
  • Reggie had been run out when he was just getting set, or, as sometimes
  • occurred, that that ass Frank had dropped Fry or Hayward in the slips
  • before he had scored, with the result that the spared expert had made
  • a couple of hundred and was still going strong.
  • In such a case the criticisms of the family circle, particularly of
  • the smaller Jackson sisters, were so breezy and unrestrained that Mrs.
  • Jackson generally felt it necessary to apply the closure. Indeed,
  • Marjory Jackson, aged fourteen, had on three several occasions been
  • fined pudding at lunch for her caustic comments on the batting of her
  • brother Reggie in important fixtures. Cricket was a tradition in the
  • family, and the ladies, unable to their sorrow to play the game
  • themselves, were resolved that it should not be their fault if the
  • standard was not kept up.
  • On this particular morning silence reigned. A deep gasp from some
  • small Jackson, wrestling with bread-and-milk, and an occasional remark
  • from Mr. Jackson on the letters he was reading, alone broke it.
  • "Mike's late again," said Mrs. Jackson plaintively, at last.
  • "He's getting up," said Marjory. "I went in to see what he was doing,
  • and he was asleep. So," she added with a satanic chuckle, "I squeezed
  • a sponge over him. He swallowed an awful lot, and then he woke up, and
  • tried to catch me, so he's certain to be down soon."
  • "Marjory!"
  • "Well, he was on his back with his mouth wide open. I had to. He was
  • snoring like anything."
  • "You might have choked him."
  • "I did," said Marjory with satisfaction. "Jam, please, Phyllis, you
  • pig."
  • Mr. Jackson looked up.
  • "Mike will have to be more punctual when he goes to Wrykyn," he said.
  • "Oh, father, is Mike going to Wrykyn?" asked Marjory. "When?"
  • "Next term," said Mr. Jackson. "I've just heard from Mr. Wain," he
  • added across the table to Mrs. Jackson. "The house is full, but he is
  • turning a small room into an extra dormitory, so he can take Mike
  • after all."
  • The first comment on this momentous piece of news came from Bob
  • Jackson. Bob was eighteen. The following term would be his last at
  • Wrykyn, and, having won through so far without the infliction of a
  • small brother, he disliked the prospect of not being allowed to finish
  • as he had begun.
  • "I say!" he said. "What?"
  • "He ought to have gone before," said Mr. Jackson. "He's fifteen. Much
  • too old for that private school. He has had it all his own way there,
  • and it isn't good for him."
  • "He's got cheek enough for ten," agreed Bob.
  • "Wrykyn will do him a world of good."
  • "We aren't in the same house. That's one comfort."
  • Bob was in Donaldson's. It softened the blow to a certain extent that
  • Mike should be going to Wain's. He had the same feeling for Mike that
  • most boys of eighteen have for their fifteen-year-old brothers. He was
  • fond of him in the abstract, but preferred him at a distance.
  • Marjory gave tongue again. She had rescued the jam from Phyllis, who
  • had shown signs of finishing it, and was now at liberty to turn her
  • mind to less pressing matters. Mike was her special ally, and anything
  • that affected his fortunes affected her.
  • "Hooray! Mike's going to Wrykyn. I bet he gets into the first eleven
  • his first term."
  • "Considering there are eight old colours left," said Bob loftily,
  • "besides heaps of last year's seconds, it's hardly likely that a kid
  • like Mike'll get a look in. He might get his third, if he sweats."
  • The aspersion stung Marjory.
  • "I bet he gets in before you, anyway," she said.
  • Bob disdained to reply. He was among those heaps of last year's
  • seconds to whom he had referred. He was a sound bat, though lacking
  • the brilliance of his elder brothers, and he fancied that his cap was
  • a certainty this season. Last year he had been tried once or twice.
  • This year it should be all right.
  • Mrs. Jackson intervened.
  • "Go on with your breakfast, Marjory," she said. "You mustn't say 'I
  • bet' so much."
  • Marjory bit off a section of her slice of bread-and-jam.
  • "Anyhow, I bet he does," she muttered truculently through it.
  • There was a sound of footsteps in the passage outside. The door
  • opened, and the missing member of the family appeared. Mike Jackson
  • was tall for his age. His figure was thin and wiry. His arms and legs
  • looked a shade too long for his body. He was evidently going to be
  • very tall some day. In face, he was curiously like his brother Joe,
  • whose appearance is familiar to every one who takes an interest in
  • first-class cricket. The resemblance was even more marked on the
  • cricket field. Mike had Joe's batting style to the last detail. He was
  • a pocket edition of his century-making brother. "Hullo," he said,
  • "sorry I'm late."
  • This was mere stereo. He had made the same remark nearly every morning
  • since the beginning of the holidays.
  • "All right, Marjory, you little beast," was his reference to the
  • sponge incident.
  • His third remark was of a practical nature.
  • "I say, what's under that dish?"
  • "Mike," began Mr. Jackson--this again was stereo--"you really must
  • learn to be more punctual----"
  • He was interrupted by a chorus.
  • "Mike, you're going to Wrykyn next term," shouted Marjory.
  • "Mike, father's just had a letter to say you're going to Wrykyn next
  • term." From Phyllis.
  • "Mike, you're going to Wrykyn." From Ella.
  • Gladys Maud Evangeline, aged three, obliged with a solo of her own
  • composition, in six-eight time, as follows: "Mike Wryky. Mike Wryky.
  • Mike Wryke Wryke Wryke Mike Wryke Wryke Mike Wryke Mike Wryke."
  • "Oh, put a green baize cloth over that kid, somebody," groaned Bob.
  • Whereat Gladys Maud, having fixed him with a chilly stare for some
  • seconds, suddenly drew a long breath, and squealed deafeningly for
  • more milk.
  • Mike looked round the table. It was a great moment. He rose to it with
  • the utmost dignity.
  • "Good," he said. "I say, what's under that dish?"
  • * * * * *
  • After breakfast, Mike and Marjory went off together to the meadow at
  • the end of the garden. Saunders, the professional, assisted by the
  • gardener's boy, was engaged in putting up the net. Mr. Jackson
  • believed in private coaching; and every spring since Joe, the eldest
  • of the family, had been able to use a bat a man had come down from the
  • Oval to teach him the best way to do so. Each of the boys in turn had
  • passed from spectators to active participants in the net practice in
  • the meadow. For several years now Saunders had been the chosen man,
  • and his attitude towards the Jacksons was that of the Faithful Old
  • Retainer in melodrama. Mike was his special favourite. He felt that in
  • him he had material of the finest order to work upon. There was
  • nothing the matter with Bob. In Bob he would turn out a good, sound
  • article. Bob would be a Blue in his third or fourth year, and probably
  • a creditable performer among the rank and file of a county team later
  • on. But he was not a cricket genius, like Mike. Saunders would lie
  • awake at night sometimes thinking of the possibilities that were in
  • Mike. The strength could only come with years, but the style was there
  • already. Joe's style, with improvements.
  • Mike put on his pads; and Marjory walked with the professional to the
  • bowling crease.
  • "Mike's going to Wrykyn next term, Saunders," she said. "All the boys
  • were there, you know. So was father, ages ago."
  • "Is he, miss? I was thinking he would be soon."
  • "Do you think he'll get into the school team?"
  • "School team, miss! Master Mike get into a school team! He'll be
  • playing for England in another eight years. That's what he'll be
  • playing for."
  • "Yes, but I meant next term. It would be a record if he did. Even Joe
  • only got in after he'd been at school two years. Don't you think he
  • might, Saunders? He's awfully good, isn't he? He's better than Bob,
  • isn't he? And Bob's almost certain to get in this term."
  • Saunders looked a little doubtful.
  • "Next term!" he said. "Well, you see, miss, it's this way. It's all
  • there, in a manner of speaking, with Master Mike. He's got as much
  • style as Mr. Joe's got, every bit. The whole thing is, you see, miss,
  • you get these young gentlemen of eighteen, and nineteen perhaps, and
  • it stands to reason they're stronger. There's a young gentleman,
  • perhaps, doesn't know as much about what I call real playing as Master
  • Mike's forgotten; but then he can hit 'em harder when he does hit 'em,
  • and that's where the runs come in. They aren't going to play Master
  • Mike because he'll be in the England team when he leaves school.
  • They'll give the cap to somebody that can make a few then and there."
  • "But Mike's jolly strong."
  • "Ah, I'm not saying it mightn't be, miss. I was only saying don't
  • count on it, so you won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen. It's
  • quite likely that it will, only all I say is don't count on it. I only
  • hope that they won't knock all the style out of him before they're
  • done with him. You know these school professionals, miss."
  • "No, I don't, Saunders. What are they like?"
  • "Well, there's too much of the come-right-out-at-everything about 'em
  • for my taste. Seem to think playing forward the alpha and omugger of
  • batting. They'll make him pat balls back to the bowler which he'd cut
  • for twos and threes if he was left to himself. Still, we'll hope for
  • the best, miss. Ready, Master Mike? Play."
  • As Saunders had said, it was all there. Of Mike's style there could be
  • no doubt. To-day, too, he was playing more strongly than usual.
  • Marjory had to run to the end of the meadow to fetch one straight
  • drive. "He hit that hard enough, didn't he, Saunders?" she asked, as
  • she returned the ball.
  • "If he could keep on doing ones like that, miss," said the
  • professional, "they'd have him in the team before you could say
  • knife."
  • Marjory sat down again beside the net, and watched more hopefully.
  • CHAPTER II
  • THE JOURNEY DOWN
  • The seeing off of Mike on the last day of the holidays was an imposing
  • spectacle, a sort of pageant. Going to a public school, especially at
  • the beginning of the summer term, is no great hardship, more
  • particularly when the departing hero has a brother on the verge of the
  • school eleven and three other brothers playing for counties; and Mike
  • seemed in no way disturbed by the prospect. Mothers, however, to the
  • end of time will foster a secret fear that their sons will be bullied
  • at a big school, and Mrs. Jackson's anxious look lent a fine solemnity
  • to the proceedings.
  • And as Marjory, Phyllis, and Ella invariably broke down when the time
  • of separation arrived, and made no exception to their rule on the
  • present occasion, a suitable gloom was the keynote of the gathering.
  • Mr. Jackson seemed to bear the parting with fortitude, as did Mike's
  • Uncle John (providentially roped in at the eleventh hour on his way
  • to Scotland, in time to come down with a handsome tip). To their
  • coarse-fibred minds there was nothing pathetic or tragic about the
  • affair at all. (At the very moment when the train began to glide out
  • of the station Uncle John was heard to remark that, in his opinion,
  • these Bocks weren't a patch on the old shaped Larranaga.) Among others
  • present might have been noticed Saunders, practising late cuts rather
  • coyly with a walking-stick in the background; the village idiot, who
  • had rolled up on the chance of a dole; Gladys Maud Evangeline's nurse,
  • smiling vaguely; and Gladys Maud Evangeline herself, frankly bored
  • with the whole business.
  • The train gathered speed. The air was full of last messages. Uncle
  • John said on second thoughts he wasn't sure these Bocks weren't half a
  • bad smoke after all. Gladys Maud cried, because she had taken a sudden
  • dislike to the village idiot; and Mike settled himself in the corner
  • and opened a magazine.
  • He was alone in the carriage. Bob, who had been spending the last week
  • of the holidays with an aunt further down the line, was to board the
  • train at East Wobsley, and the brothers were to make a state entry
  • into Wrykyn together. Meanwhile, Mike was left to his milk chocolate,
  • his magazines, and his reflections.
  • The latter were not numerous, nor profound. He was excited. He had
  • been petitioning the home authorities for the past year to be allowed
  • to leave his private school and go to Wrykyn, and now the thing had
  • come about. He wondered what sort of a house Wain's was, and whether
  • they had any chance of the cricket cup. According to Bob they had no
  • earthly; but then Bob only recognised one house, Donaldson's. He
  • wondered if Bob would get his first eleven cap this year, and if he
  • himself were likely to do anything at cricket. Marjory had faithfully
  • reported every word Saunders had said on the subject, but Bob had been
  • so careful to point out his insignificance when compared with the
  • humblest Wrykynian that the professional's glowing prophecies had not
  • had much effect. It might be true that some day he would play for
  • England, but just at present he felt he would exchange his place in
  • the team for one in the Wrykyn third eleven. A sort of mist enveloped
  • everything Wrykynian. It seemed almost hopeless to try and compete
  • with these unknown experts. On the other hand, there was Bob. Bob, by
  • all accounts, was on the verge of the first eleven, and he was nothing
  • special.
  • While he was engaged on these reflections, the train drew up at a
  • small station. Opposite the door of Mike's compartment was standing a
  • boy of about Mike's size, though evidently some years older. He had a
  • sharp face, with rather a prominent nose; and a pair of pince-nez gave
  • him a supercilious look. He wore a bowler hat, and carried a small
  • portmanteau.
  • He opened the door, and took the seat opposite to Mike, whom he
  • scrutinised for a moment rather after the fashion of a naturalist
  • examining some new and unpleasant variety of beetle. He seemed about
  • to make some remark, but, instead, got up and looked through the open
  • window.
  • "Where's that porter?" Mike heard him say.
  • The porter came skimming down the platform at that moment.
  • "Porter."
  • "Sir?"
  • "Are those frightful boxes of mine in all right?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "Because, you know, there'll be a frightful row if any of them get
  • lost."
  • "No chance of that, sir."
  • "Here you are, then."
  • "Thank you, sir."
  • The youth drew his head and shoulders in, stared at Mike again, and
  • finally sat down. Mike noticed that he had nothing to read, and
  • wondered if he wanted anything; but he did not feel equal to offering
  • him one of his magazines. He did not like the looks of him
  • particularly. Judging by appearances, he seemed to carry enough side
  • for three. If he wanted a magazine, thought Mike, let him ask for it.
  • The other made no overtures, and at the next stop got out. That
  • explained his magazineless condition. He was only travelling a short
  • way.
  • "Good business," said Mike to himself. He had all the Englishman's
  • love of a carriage to himself.
  • The train was just moving out of the station when his eye was suddenly
  • caught by the stranger's bag, lying snugly in the rack.
  • And here, I regret to say, Mike acted from the best motives, which is
  • always fatal.
  • He realised in an instant what had happened. The fellow had forgotten
  • his bag.
  • Mike had not been greatly fascinated by the stranger's looks; but,
  • after all, the most supercilious person on earth has a right to his
  • own property. Besides, he might have been quite a nice fellow when you
  • got to know him. Anyhow, the bag had better be returned at once. The
  • trainwas already moving quite fast, and Mike's compartment was nearing
  • the end of the platform.
  • He snatched the bag from the rack and hurled it out of the window.
  • (Porter Robinson, who happened to be in the line of fire, escaped with
  • a flesh wound.) Then he sat down again with the inward glow of
  • satisfaction which comes to one when one has risen successfully to a
  • sudden emergency.
  • * * * * *
  • The glow lasted till the next stoppage, which did not occur for a good
  • many miles. Then it ceased abruptly, for the train had scarcely come
  • to a standstill when the opening above the door was darkened by a head
  • and shoulders. The head was surmounted by a bowler, and a pair of
  • pince-nez gleamed from the shadow.
  • "Hullo, I say," said the stranger. "Have you changed carriages, or
  • what?"
  • "No," said Mike.
  • "Then, dash it, where's my frightful bag?"
  • Life teems with embarrassing situations. This was one of them.
  • "The fact is," said Mike, "I chucked it out."
  • "Chucked it out! what do you mean? When?"
  • "At the last station."
  • The guard blew his whistle, and the other jumped into the carriage.
  • "I thought you'd got out there for good," explained Mike. "I'm awfully
  • sorry."
  • "Where _is_ the bag?"
  • "On the platform at the last station. It hit a porter."
  • Against his will, for he wished to treat the matter with fitting
  • solemnity, Mike grinned at the recollection. The look on Porter
  • Robinson's face as the bag took him in the small of the back had been
  • funny, though not intentionally so.
  • The bereaved owner disapproved of this levity; and said as much.
  • "Don't _grin_, you little beast," he shouted. "There's nothing to
  • laugh at. You go chucking bags that don't belong to you out of the
  • window, and then you have the frightful cheek to grin about it."
  • "It wasn't that," said Mike hurriedly. "Only the porter looked awfully
  • funny when it hit him."
  • "Dash the porter! What's going to happen about my bag? I can't get out
  • for half a second to buy a magazine without your flinging my things
  • about the platform. What you want is a frightful kicking."
  • The situation was becoming difficult. But fortunately at this moment
  • the train stopped once again; and, looking out of the window, Mike saw
  • a board with East Wobsley upon it in large letters. A moment later
  • Bob's head appeared in the doorway.
  • "Hullo, there you are," said Bob.
  • His eye fell upon Mike's companion.
  • "Hullo, Gazeka!" he exclaimed. "Where did you spring from? Do you know
  • my brother? He's coming to Wrykyn this term. By the way, rather lucky
  • you've met. He's in your house. Firby-Smith's head of Wain's, Mike."
  • Mike gathered that Gazeka and Firby-Smith were one and the same
  • person. He grinned again. Firby-Smith continued to look ruffled,
  • though not aggressive.
  • "Oh, are you in Wain's?" he said.
  • "I say, Bob," said Mike, "I've made rather an ass of myself."
  • "Naturally."
  • "I mean, what happened was this. I chucked Firby-Smith's portmanteau
  • out of the window, thinking he'd got out, only he hadn't really, and
  • it's at a station miles back."
  • "You're a bit of a rotter, aren't you? Had it got your name and
  • address on it, Gazeka?"
  • "Yes."
  • "Oh, then it's certain to be all right. It's bound to turn up some
  • time. They'll send it on by the next train, and you'll get it either
  • to-night or to-morrow."
  • "Frightful nuisance, all the same. Lots of things in it I wanted."
  • "Oh, never mind, it's all right. I say, what have you been doing in
  • the holidays? I didn't know you lived on this line at all."
  • From this point onwards Mike was out of the conversation altogether.
  • Bob and Firby-Smith talked of Wrykyn, discussing events of the
  • previous term of which Mike had never heard. Names came into their
  • conversation which were entirely new to him. He realised that school
  • politics were being talked, and that contributions from him to the
  • dialogue were not required. He took up his magazine again, listening
  • the while. They were discussing Wain's now. The name Wyatt cropped up
  • with some frequency. Wyatt was apparently something of a character.
  • Mention was made of rows in which he had played a part in the past.
  • "It must be pretty rotten for him," said Bob. "He and Wain never get
  • on very well, and yet they have to be together, holidays as well as
  • term. Pretty bad having a step-father at all--I shouldn't care to--and
  • when your house-master and your step-father are the same man, it's a
  • bit thick."
  • "Frightful," agreed Firby-Smith.
  • "I swear, if I were in Wyatt's place, I should rot about like
  • anything. It isn't as if he'd anything to look forward to when he
  • leaves. He told me last term that Wain had got a nomination for him in
  • some beastly bank, and that he was going into it directly after the
  • end of this term. Rather rough on a chap like Wyatt. Good cricketer
  • and footballer, I mean, and all that sort of thing. It's just the sort
  • of life he'll hate most. Hullo, here we are."
  • Mike looked out of the window. It was Wrykyn at last.
  • CHAPTER III
  • MIKE FINDS A FRIENDLY NATIVE
  • Mike was surprised to find, on alighting, that the platform was
  • entirely free from Wrykynians. In all the stories he had read the
  • whole school came back by the same train, and, having smashed in one
  • another's hats and chaffed the porters, made their way to the school
  • buildings in a solid column. But here they were alone.
  • A remark of Bob's to Firby-Smith explained this. "Can't make out why
  • none of the fellows came back by this train," he said. "Heaps of them
  • must come by this line, and it's the only Christian train they run,"
  • "Don't want to get here before the last minute they can possibly
  • manage. Silly idea. I suppose they think there'd be nothing to do."
  • "What shall _we_ do?" said Bob. "Come and have some tea at
  • Cook's?"
  • "All right."
  • Bob looked at Mike. There was no disguising the fact that he would be
  • in the way; but how convey this fact delicately to him?
  • "Look here, Mike," he said, with a happy inspiration, "Firby-Smith and
  • I are just going to get some tea. I think you'd better nip up to the
  • school. Probably Wain will want to see you, and tell you all about
  • things, which is your dorm. and so on. See you later," he concluded
  • airily. "Any one'll tell you the way to the school. Go straight on.
  • They'll send your luggage on later. So long." And his sole prop in
  • this world of strangers departed, leaving him to find his way for
  • himself.
  • There is no subject on which opinions differ so widely as this matter
  • of finding the way to a place. To the man who knows, it is simplicity
  • itself. Probably he really does imagine that he goes straight on,
  • ignoring the fact that for him the choice of three roads, all more or
  • less straight, has no perplexities. The man who does not know feels as
  • if he were in a maze.
  • Mike started out boldly, and lost his way. Go in which direction he
  • would, he always seemed to arrive at a square with a fountain and an
  • equestrian statue in its centre. On the fourth repetition of this feat
  • he stopped in a disheartened way, and looked about him. He was
  • beginning to feel bitter towards Bob. The man might at least have
  • shown him where to get some tea.
  • At this moment a ray of hope shone through the gloom. Crossing the
  • square was a short, thick-set figure clad in grey flannel trousers, a
  • blue blazer, and a straw hat with a coloured band. Plainly a
  • Wrykynian. Mike made for him.
  • "Can you tell me the way to the school, please," he said.
  • "Oh, you're going to the school," said the other. He had a pleasant,
  • square-jawed face, reminiscent of a good-tempered bull-dog, and a pair
  • of very deep-set grey eyes which somehow put Mike at his ease. There
  • was something singularly cool and genial about them. He felt that they
  • saw the humour in things, and that their owner was a person who liked
  • most people and whom most people liked.
  • "You look rather lost," said the stranger. "Been hunting for it long?"
  • "Yes," said Mike.
  • "Which house do you want?"
  • "Wain's."
  • "Wain's? Then you've come to the right man this time. What I don't
  • know about Wain's isn't worth knowing."
  • "Are you there, too?"
  • "Am I not! Term _and_ holidays. There's no close season for me."
  • "Oh, are you Wyatt, then?" asked Mike.
  • "Hullo, this is fame. How did you know my name, as the ass in the
  • detective story always says to the detective, who's seen it in the
  • lining of his hat? Who's been talking about me?"
  • "I heard my brother saying something about you in the train."
  • "Who's your brother?"
  • "Jackson. He's in Donaldson's."
  • "I know. A stout fellow. So you're the newest make of Jackson, latest
  • model, with all the modern improvements? Are there any more of you?"
  • "Not brothers," said Mike.
  • "Pity. You can't quite raise a team, then? Are you a sort of young
  • Tyldesley, too?"
  • "I played a bit at my last school. Only a private school, you know,"
  • added Mike modestly.
  • "Make any runs? What was your best score?"
  • "Hundred and twenty-three," said Mike awkwardly. "It was only against
  • kids, you know." He was in terror lest he should seem to be bragging.
  • "That's pretty useful. Any more centuries?"
  • "Yes," said Mike, shuffling.
  • "How many?"
  • "Seven altogether. You know, it was really awfully rotten bowling. And
  • I was a good bit bigger than most of the chaps there. And my pater
  • always has a pro. down in the Easter holidays, which gave me a bit of
  • an advantage."
  • "All the same, seven centuries isn't so dusty against any bowling. We
  • shall want some batting in the house this term. Look here, I was just
  • going to have some tea. You come along, too."
  • "Oh, thanks awfully," said Mike. "My brother and Firby-Smith have gone
  • to a place called Cook's."
  • "The old Gazeka? I didn't know he lived in your part of the world.
  • He's head of Wain's."
  • "Yes, I know," said Mike. "Why is he called Gazeka?" he asked after a
  • pause.
  • "Don't you think he looks like one? What did you think of him?"
  • "I didn't speak to him much," said Mike cautiously. It is always
  • delicate work answering a question like this unless one has some sort
  • of an inkling as to the views of the questioner.
  • "He's all right," said Wyatt, answering for himself. "He's got a habit
  • of talking to one as if he were a prince of the blood dropping a
  • gracious word to one of the three Small-Heads at the Hippodrome, but
  • that's his misfortune. We all have our troubles. That's his. Let's go
  • in here. It's too far to sweat to Cook's."
  • It was about a mile from the tea-shop to the school. Mike's first
  • impression on arriving at the school grounds was of his smallness and
  • insignificance. Everything looked so big--the buildings, the grounds,
  • everything. He felt out of the picture. He was glad that he had met
  • Wyatt. To make his entrance into this strange land alone would have
  • been more of an ordeal than he would have cared to face.
  • "That's Wain's," said Wyatt, pointing to one of half a dozen large
  • houses which lined the road on the south side of the cricket field.
  • Mike followed his finger, and took in the size of his new home.
  • "I say, it's jolly big," he said. "How many fellows are there in it?"
  • "Thirty-one this term, I believe."
  • "That's more than there were at King-Hall's."
  • "What's King-Hall's?"
  • "The private school I was at. At Emsworth."
  • Emsworth seemed very remote and unreal to him as he spoke.
  • They skirted the cricket field, walking along the path that divided
  • the two terraces. The Wrykyn playing-fields were formed of a series of
  • huge steps, cut out of the hill. At the top of the hill came the
  • school. On the first terrace was a sort of informal practice ground,
  • where, though no games were played on it, there was a good deal of
  • punting and drop-kicking in the winter and fielding-practice in the
  • summer. The next terrace was the biggest of all, and formed the first
  • eleven cricket ground, a beautiful piece of turf, a shade too narrow
  • for its length, bounded on the terrace side by a sharply sloping bank,
  • some fifteen feet deep, and on the other by the precipice leading to
  • the next terrace. At the far end of the ground stood the pavilion, and
  • beside it a little ivy-covered rabbit-hutch for the scorers. Old
  • Wrykynians always claimed that it was the prettiest school ground in
  • England. It certainly had the finest view. From the verandah of the
  • pavilion you could look over three counties.
  • Wain's house wore an empty and desolate appearance. There were signs
  • of activity, however, inside; and a smell of soap and warm water told
  • of preparations recently completed.
  • Wyatt took Mike into the matron's room, a small room opening out of
  • the main passage.
  • "This is Jackson," he said. "Which dormitory is he in, Miss Payne?"
  • The matron consulted a paper.
  • "He's in yours, Wyatt."
  • "Good business. Who's in the other bed? There are going to be three of
  • us, aren't there?"
  • "Fereira was to have slept there, but we have just heard that he is
  • not coming back this term. He has had to go on a sea-voyage for his
  • health."
  • "Seems queer any one actually taking the trouble to keep Fereira in
  • the world," said Wyatt. "I've often thought of giving him Rough On
  • Rats myself. Come along, Jackson, and I'll show you the room."
  • They went along the passage, and up a flight of stairs.
  • "Here you are," said Wyatt.
  • It was a fair-sized room. The window, heavily barred, looked out over
  • a large garden.
  • "I used to sleep here alone last term," said Wyatt, "but the house is
  • so full now they've turned it into a dormitory."
  • "I say, I wish these bars weren't here. It would be rather a rag to
  • get out of the window on to that wall at night, and hop down into the
  • garden and explore," said Mike.
  • Wyatt looked at him curiously, and moved to the window.
  • "I'm not going to let you do it, of course," he said, "because you'd
  • go getting caught, and dropped on, which isn't good for one in one's
  • first term; but just to amuse you----"
  • He jerked at the middle bar, and the next moment he was standing with
  • it in his hand, and the way to the garden was clear.
  • "By Jove!" said Mike.
  • "That's simply an object-lesson, you know," said Wyatt, replacing the
  • bar, and pushing the screws back into their putty. "I get out at night
  • myself because I think my health needs it. Besides, it's my last term,
  • anyhow, so it doesn't matter what I do. But if I find you trying to
  • cut out in the small hours, there'll be trouble. See?"
  • "All right," said Mike, reluctantly. "But I wish you'd let me."
  • "Not if I know it. Promise you won't try it on."
  • "All right. But, I say, what do you do out there?"
  • "I shoot at cats with an air-pistol, the beauty of which is that even
  • if you hit them it doesn't hurt--simply keeps them bright and
  • interested in life; and if you miss you've had all the fun anyhow.
  • Have you ever shot at a rocketing cat? Finest mark you can have.
  • Society's latest craze. Buy a pistol and see life."
  • "I wish you'd let me come."
  • "I daresay you do. Not much, however. Now, if you like, I'll take you
  • over the rest of the school. You'll have to see it sooner or later, so
  • you may as well get it over at once."
  • CHAPTER IV
  • AT THE NETS
  • There are few better things in life than a public school summer term.
  • The winter term is good, especially towards the end, and there are
  • points, though not many, about the Easter term: but it is in the
  • summer that one really appreciates public school life. The freedom of
  • it, after the restrictions of even the most easy-going private school,
  • is intoxicating. The change is almost as great as that from public
  • school to 'Varsity.
  • For Mike the path was made particularly easy. The only drawback to
  • going to a big school for the first time is the fact that one is made
  • to feel so very small and inconspicuous. New boys who have been
  • leading lights at their private schools feel it acutely for the first
  • week. At one time it was the custom, if we may believe writers of a
  • generation or so back, for boys to take quite an embarrassing interest
  • in the newcomer. He was asked a rain of questions, and was, generally,
  • in the very centre of the stage. Nowadays an absolute lack of interest
  • is the fashion. A new boy arrives, and there he is, one of a crowd.
  • Mike was saved this salutary treatment to a large extent, at first by
  • virtue of the greatness of his family, and, later, by his own
  • performances on the cricket field. His three elder brothers were
  • objects of veneration to most Wrykynians, and Mike got a certain
  • amount of reflected glory from them. The brother of first-class
  • cricketers has a dignity of his own. Then Bob was a help. He was on
  • the verge of the cricket team and had been the school full-back for
  • two seasons. Mike found that people came up and spoke to him, anxious
  • to know if he were Jackson's brother; and became friendly when he
  • replied in the affirmative. Influential relations are a help in every
  • stage of life.
  • It was Wyatt who gave him his first chance at cricket. There were nets
  • on the first afternoon of term for all old colours of the three teams
  • and a dozen or so of those most likely to fill the vacant places.
  • Wyatt was there, of course. He had got his first eleven cap in the
  • previous season as a mighty hitter and a fair slow bowler. Mike met
  • him crossing the field with his cricket bag.
  • "Hullo, where are you off to?" asked Wyatt. "Coming to watch the
  • nets?"
  • Mike had no particular programme for the afternoon. Junior cricket had
  • not begun, and it was a little difficult to know how to fill in the
  • time.
  • "I tell you what," said Wyatt, "nip into the house and shove on some
  • things, and I'll try and get Burgess to let you have a knock later
  • on."
  • This suited Mike admirably. A quarter of an hour later he was sitting
  • at the back of the first eleven net, watching the practice.
  • Burgess, the captain of the Wrykyn team, made no pretence of being a
  • bat. He was the school fast bowler and concentrated his energies on
  • that department of the game. He sometimes took ten minutes at the
  • wicket after everybody else had had an innings, but it was to bowl
  • that he came to the nets.
  • He was bowling now to one of the old colours whose name Mike did not
  • know. Wyatt and one of the professionals were the other two bowlers.
  • Two nets away Firby-Smith, who had changed his pince-nez for a pair of
  • huge spectacles, was performing rather ineffectively against some very
  • bad bowling. Mike fixed his attention on the first eleven man.
  • He was evidently a good bat. There was style and power in his batting.
  • He had a way of gliding Burgess's fastest to leg which Mike admired
  • greatly. He was succeeded at the end of a quarter of an hour by
  • another eleven man, and then Bob appeared.
  • It was soon made evident that this was not Bob's day. Nobody is at his
  • best on the first day of term; but Bob was worse than he had any right
  • to be. He scratched forward at nearly everything, and when Burgess,
  • who had been resting, took up the ball again, he had each stump
  • uprooted in a regular series in seven balls. Once he skied one of
  • Wyatt's slows over the net behind the wicket; and Mike, jumping up,
  • caught him neatly.
  • "Thanks," said Bob austerely, as Mike returned the ball to him. He
  • seemed depressed.
  • Towards the end of the afternoon, Wyatt went up to Burgess.
  • "Burgess," he said, "see that kid sitting behind the net?"
  • "With the naked eye," said Burgess. "Why?"
  • "He's just come to Wain's. He's Bob Jackson's brother, and I've a sort
  • of idea that he's a bit of a bat. I told him I'd ask you if he could
  • have a knock. Why not send him in at the end net? There's nobody there
  • now."
  • Burgess's amiability off the field equalled his ruthlessness when
  • bowling.
  • "All right," he said. "Only if you think that I'm going to sweat to
  • bowl to him, you're making a fatal error."
  • "You needn't do a thing. Just sit and watch. I rather fancy this kid's
  • something special."
  • * * * * *
  • Mike put on Wyatt's pads and gloves, borrowed his bat, and walked
  • round into the net.
  • "Not in a funk, are you?" asked Wyatt, as he passed.
  • Mike grinned. The fact was that he had far too good an opinion of
  • himself to be nervous. An entirely modest person seldom makes a good
  • batsman. Batting is one of those things which demand first and
  • foremost a thorough belief in oneself. It need not be aggressive, but
  • it must be there.
  • Wyatt and the professional were the bowlers. Mike had seen enough of
  • Wyatt's bowling to know that it was merely ordinary "slow tosh," and
  • the professional did not look as difficult as Saunders. The first
  • half-dozen balls he played carefully. He was on trial, and he meant to
  • take no risks. Then the professional over-pitched one slightly on the
  • off. Mike jumped out, and got the full face of the bat on to it. The
  • ball hit one of the ropes of the net, and nearly broke it.
  • "How's that?" said Wyatt, with the smile of an impresario on the first
  • night of a successful piece.
  • "Not bad," admitted Burgess.
  • A few moments later he was still more complimentary. He got up and
  • took a ball himself.
  • Mike braced himself up as Burgess began his run. This time he was more
  • than a trifle nervous. The bowling he had had so far had been tame.
  • This would be the real ordeal.
  • As the ball left Burgess's hand he began instinctively to shape for a
  • forward stroke. Then suddenly he realised that the thing was going to
  • be a yorker, and banged his bat down in the block just as the ball
  • arrived. An unpleasant sensation as of having been struck by a
  • thunderbolt was succeeded by a feeling of relief that he had kept the
  • ball out of his wicket. There are easier things in the world than
  • stopping a fast yorker.
  • "Well played," said Burgess.
  • Mike felt like a successful general receiving the thanks of the
  • nation.
  • The fact that Burgess's next ball knocked middle and off stumps out of
  • the ground saddened him somewhat; but this was the last tragedy that
  • occurred. He could not do much with the bowling beyond stopping it and
  • feeling repetitions of the thunderbolt experience, but he kept up his
  • end; and a short conversation which he had with Burgess at the end of
  • his innings was full of encouragement to one skilled in reading
  • between the lines.
  • "Thanks awfully," said Mike, referring to the square manner in which
  • the captain had behaved in letting him bat.
  • "What school were you at before you came here?" asked Burgess.
  • "A private school in Hampshire," said Mike. "King-Hall's. At a place
  • called Emsworth."
  • "Get much cricket there?"
  • "Yes, a good lot. One of the masters, a chap called Westbrook, was an
  • awfully good slow bowler."
  • Burgess nodded.
  • "You don't run away, which is something," he said.
  • Mike turned purple with pleasure at this stately compliment. Then,
  • having waited for further remarks, but gathering from the captain's
  • silence that the audience was at an end, he proceeded to unbuckle his
  • pads. Wyatt overtook him on his way to the house.
  • "Well played," he said. "I'd no idea you were such hot stuff. You're a
  • regular pro."
  • "I say," said Mike gratefully, "it was most awfully decent of you
  • getting Burgess to let me go in. It was simply ripping of you."
  • "Oh, that's all right. If you don't get pushed a bit here you stay for
  • ages in the hundredth game with the cripples and the kids. Now you've
  • shown them what you can do you ought to get into the Under Sixteen
  • team straight away. Probably into the third, too."
  • "By Jove, that would be all right."
  • "I asked Burgess afterwards what he thought of your batting, and he
  • said, 'Not bad.' But he says that about everything. It's his highest
  • form of praise. He says it when he wants to let himself go and simply
  • butter up a thing. If you took him to see N. A. Knox bowl, he'd say he
  • wasn't bad. What he meant was that he was jolly struck with your
  • batting, and is going to play you for the Under Sixteen."
  • "I hope so," said Mike.
  • The prophecy was fulfilled. On the following Wednesday there was a
  • match between the Under Sixteen and a scratch side. Mike's name was
  • among the Under Sixteen. And on the Saturday he was playing for the
  • third eleven in a trial game.
  • "This place is ripping," he said to himself, as he saw his name on the
  • list. "Thought I should like it."
  • And that night he wrote a letter to his father, notifying him of the
  • fact.
  • CHAPTER V
  • REVELRY BY NIGHT
  • A succession of events combined to upset Mike during his first
  • fortnight at school. He was far more successful than he had any right
  • to be at his age. There is nothing more heady than success, and if it
  • comes before we are prepared for it, it is apt to throw us off our
  • balance. As a rule, at school, years of wholesome obscurity make us
  • ready for any small triumphs we may achieve at the end of our time
  • there. Mike had skipped these years. He was older than the average new
  • boy, and his batting was undeniable. He knew quite well that he was
  • regarded as a find by the cricket authorities; and the knowledge was
  • not particularly good for him. It did not make him conceited, for his
  • was not a nature at all addicted to conceit. The effect it had on him
  • was to make him excessively pleased with life. And when Mike was
  • pleased with life he always found a difficulty in obeying Authority
  • and its rules. His state of mind was not improved by an interview with
  • Bob.
  • Some evil genius put it into Bob's mind that it was his duty to be, if
  • only for one performance, the Heavy Elder Brother to Mike; to give him
  • good advice. It is never the smallest use for an elder brother to
  • attempt to do anything for the good of a younger brother at school,
  • for the latter rebels automatically against such interference in his
  • concerns; but Bob did not know this. He only knew that he had received
  • a letter from home, in which his mother had assumed without evidence
  • that he was leading Mike by the hand round the pitfalls of life at
  • Wrykyn; and his conscience smote him. Beyond asking him occasionally,
  • when they met, how he was getting on (a question to which Mike
  • invariably replied, "Oh, all right"), he was not aware of having done
  • anything brotherly towards the youngster. So he asked Mike to tea in
  • his study one afternoon before going to the nets.
  • Mike arrived, sidling into the study in the half-sheepish, half-defiant
  • manner peculiar to small brothers in the presence of their elders, and
  • stared in silence at the photographs on the walls. Bob was changing into
  • his cricket things. The atmosphere was one of constraint and awkwardness.
  • The arrival of tea was the cue for conversation.
  • "Well, how are you getting on?" asked Bob.
  • "Oh, all right," said Mike.
  • Silence.
  • "Sugar?" asked Bob.
  • "Thanks," said Mike.
  • "How many lumps?"
  • "Two, please."
  • "Cake?"
  • "Thanks."
  • Silence.
  • Bob pulled himself together.
  • "Like Wain's?"
  • "Ripping."
  • "I asked Firby-Smith to keep an eye on you," said Bob.
  • "What!" said Mike.
  • The mere idea of a worm like the Gazeka being told to keep an eye on
  • _him_ was degrading.
  • "He said he'd look after you," added Bob, making things worse.
  • Look after him! Him!! M. Jackson, of the third eleven!!!
  • Mike helped himself to another chunk of cake, and spoke crushingly.
  • "He needn't trouble," he said. "I can look after myself all right,
  • thanks."
  • Bob saw an opening for the entry of the Heavy Elder Brother.
  • "Look here, Mike," he said, "I'm only saying it for your good----"
  • I should like to state here that it was not Bob's habit to go about
  • the world telling people things solely for their good. He was only
  • doing it now to ease his conscience.
  • "Yes?" said Mike coldly.
  • "It's only this. You know, I should keep an eye on myself if I were
  • you. There's nothing that gets a chap so barred here as side."
  • "What do you mean?" said Mike, outraged.
  • "Oh, I'm not saying anything against you so far," said Bob. "You've
  • been all right up to now. What I mean to say is, you've got on so well
  • at cricket, in the third and so on, there's just a chance you might
  • start to side about a bit soon, if you don't watch yourself. I'm not
  • saying a word against you so far, of course. Only you see what I
  • mean."
  • Mike's feelings were too deep for words. In sombre silence he reached
  • out for the jam; while Bob, satisfied that he had delivered his
  • message in a pleasant and tactful manner, filled his cup, and cast
  • about him for further words of wisdom.
  • "Seen you about with Wyatt a good deal," he said at length.
  • "Yes," said Mike.
  • "Like him?"
  • "Yes," said Mike cautiously.
  • "You know," said Bob, "I shouldn't--I mean, I should take care what
  • you're doing with Wyatt."
  • "What do you mean?"
  • "Well, he's an awfully good chap, of course, but still----"
  • "Still what?"
  • "Well, I mean, he's the sort of chap who'll probably get into some
  • thundering row before he leaves. He doesn't care a hang what he does.
  • He's that sort of chap. He's never been dropped on yet, but if you go
  • on breaking rules you're bound to be sooner or later. Thing is, it
  • doesn't matter much for him, because he's leaving at the end of the
  • term. But don't let him drag you into anything. Not that he would try
  • to. But you might think it was the blood thing to do to imitate him,
  • and the first thing you knew you'd be dropped on by Wain or somebody.
  • See what I mean?"
  • Bob was well-intentioned, but tact did not enter greatly into his
  • composition.
  • "What rot!" said Mike.
  • "All right. But don't you go doing it. I'm going over to the nets. I
  • see Burgess has shoved you down for them. You'd better be going and
  • changing. Stick on here a bit, though, if you want any more tea. I've
  • got to be off myself."
  • Mike changed for net-practice in a ferment of spiritual injury. It was
  • maddening to be treated as an infant who had to be looked after. He
  • felt very sore against Bob.
  • A good innings at the third eleven net, followed by some strenuous
  • fielding in the deep, soothed his ruffled feelings to a large extent;
  • and all might have been well but for the intervention of Firby-Smith.
  • That youth, all spectacles and front teeth, met Mike at the door of
  • Wain's.
  • "Ah, I wanted to see you, young man," he said. (Mike disliked being
  • called "young man.") "Come up to my study."
  • Mike followed him in silence to his study, and preserved his silence
  • till Firby-Smith, having deposited his cricket-bag in a corner of the
  • room and examined himself carefully in a looking-glass that hung over
  • the mantelpiece, spoke again.
  • "I've been hearing all about you, young man." Mike shuffled.
  • "You're a frightful character from all accounts." Mike could not think
  • of anything to say that was not rude, so said nothing.
  • "Your brother has asked me to keep an eye on you."
  • Mike's soul began to tie itself into knots again. He was just at the
  • age when one is most sensitive to patronage and most resentful of it.
  • "I promised I would," said the Gazeka, turning round and examining
  • himself in the mirror again. "You'll get on all right if you behave
  • yourself. Don't make a frightful row in the house. Don't cheek your
  • elders and betters. Wash. That's all. Cut along."
  • Mike had a vague idea of sacrificing his career to the momentary
  • pleasure of flinging a chair at the head of the house. Overcoming this
  • feeling, he walked out of the room, and up to his dormitory to change.
  • * * * * *
  • In the dormitory that night the feeling of revolt, of wanting to
  • do something actively illegal, increased. Like Eric, he burned, not
  • with shame and remorse, but with rage and all that sort of thing.
  • He dropped off to sleep full of half-formed plans for asserting
  • himself. He was awakened from a dream in which he was batting against
  • Firby-Smith's bowling, and hitting it into space every time, by a
  • slight sound. He opened his eyes, and saw a dark figure silhouetted
  • against the light of the window. He sat up in bed.
  • "Hullo," he said. "Is that you, Wyatt?"
  • "Are you awake?" said Wyatt. "Sorry if I've spoiled your beauty
  • sleep."
  • "Are you going out?"
  • "I am," said Wyatt. "The cats are particularly strong on the wing just
  • now. Mustn't miss a chance like this. Specially as there's a good
  • moon, too. I shall be deadly."
  • "I say, can't I come too?"
  • A moonlight prowl, with or without an air-pistol, would just have
  • suited Mike's mood.
  • "No, you can't," said Wyatt. "When I'm caught, as I'm morally certain
  • to be some day, or night rather, they're bound to ask if you've ever
  • been out as well as me. Then you'll be able to put your hand on your
  • little heart and do a big George Washington act. You'll find that
  • useful when the time comes."
  • "Do you think you will be caught?"
  • "Shouldn't be surprised. Anyhow, you stay where you are. Go to sleep
  • and dream that you're playing for the school against Ripton. So long."
  • And Wyatt, laying the bar he had extracted on the window-sill,
  • wriggled out. Mike saw him disappearing along the wall.
  • * * * * *
  • It was all very well for Wyatt to tell him to go to sleep, but it was
  • not so easy to do it. The room was almost light; and Mike always found
  • it difficult to sleep unless it was dark. He turned over on his side
  • and shut his eyes, but he had never felt wider awake. Twice he heard
  • the quarters chime from the school clock; and the second time he gave
  • up the struggle. He got out of bed and went to the window. It was a
  • lovely night, just the sort of night on which, if he had been at home,
  • he would have been out after moths with a lantern.
  • A sharp yowl from an unseen cat told of Wyatt's presence somewhere in
  • the big garden. He would have given much to be with him, but he
  • realised that he was on parole. He had promised not to leave the
  • house, and there was an end of it.
  • He turned away from the window and sat down on his bed. Then a
  • beautiful, consoling thought came to him. He had given his word that
  • he would not go into the garden, but nothing had been said about
  • exploring inside the house. It was quite late now. Everybody would be
  • in bed. It would be quite safe. And there must be all sorts of things
  • to interest the visitor in Wain's part of the house. Food, perhaps.
  • Mike felt that he could just do with a biscuit. And there were bound
  • to be biscuits on the sideboard in Wain's dining-room.
  • He crept quietly out of the dormitory.
  • He had been long enough in the house to know the way, in spite of the
  • fact that all was darkness. Down the stairs, along the passage to the
  • left, and up a few more stairs at the end. The beauty of the position
  • was that the dining-room had two doors, one leading into Wain's part
  • of the house, the other into the boys' section. Any interruption that
  • there might be would come from the further door.
  • To make himself more secure he locked that door; then, turning up the
  • incandescent light, he proceeded to look about him.
  • Mr. Wain's dining-room repaid inspection. There were the remains of
  • supper on the table. Mike cut himself some cheese and took some
  • biscuits from the box, feeling that he was doing himself well. This
  • was Life. There was a little soda-water in the syphon. He finished it.
  • As it swished into the glass, it made a noise that seemed to him like
  • three hundred Niagaras; but nobody else in the house appeared to have
  • noticed it.
  • He took some more biscuits, and an apple.
  • After which, feeling a new man, he examined the room.
  • And this was where the trouble began.
  • On a table in one corner stood a small gramophone. And gramophones
  • happened to be Mike's particular craze.
  • All thought of risk left him. The soda-water may have got into his
  • head, or he may have been in a particularly reckless mood, as indeed
  • he was. The fact remains that _he_ inserted the first record that
  • came to hand, wound the machine up, and set it going.
  • The next moment, very loud and nasal, a voice from the machine
  • announced that Mr. Godfrey Field would sing "The Quaint Old Bird."
  • And, after a few preliminary chords, Mr. Field actually did so.
  • _"Auntie went to Aldershot in a Paris pom-pom hat."_
  • Mike stood and drained it in.
  • _"... Good gracious_ (sang Mr. Field), _what was that?"_
  • It was a rattling at the handle of the door. A rattling that turned
  • almost immediately into a spirited banging. A voice accompanied the
  • banging. "Who is there?" inquired the voice. Mike recognised it as Mr.
  • Wain's. He was not alarmed. The man who holds the ace of trumps has no
  • need to be alarmed. His position was impregnable. The enemy was held
  • in check by the locked door, while the other door offered an admirable
  • and instantaneous way of escape.
  • Mike crept across the room on tip-toe and opened the window. It had
  • occurred to him, just in time, that if Mr. Wain, on entering the room,
  • found that the occupant had retired by way of the boys' part of the
  • house, he might possibly obtain a clue to his identity. If, on the
  • other hand, he opened the window, suspicion would be diverted. Mike
  • had not read his "Raffles" for nothing.
  • The handle-rattling was resumed. This was good. So long as the frontal
  • attack was kept up, there was no chance of his being taken in the
  • rear--his only danger.
  • He stopped the gramophone, which had been pegging away patiently at
  • "The Quaint Old Bird" all the time, and reflected. It seemed a pity to
  • evacuate the position and ring down the curtain on what was, to date,
  • the most exciting episode of his life; but he must not overdo the
  • thing, and get caught. At any moment the noise might bring
  • reinforcements to the besieging force, though it was not likely, for
  • the dining-room was a long way from the dormitories; and it might
  • flash upon their minds that there were two entrances to the room. Or
  • the same bright thought might come to Wain himself.
  • "Now what," pondered Mike, "would A. J. Raffles have done in a case
  • like this? Suppose he'd been after somebody's jewels, and found that
  • they were after him, and he'd locked one door, and could get away by
  • the other."
  • The answer was simple.
  • "He'd clear out," thought Mike.
  • Two minutes later he was in bed.
  • He lay there, tingling all over with the consciousness of having
  • played a masterly game, when suddenly a gruesome idea came to him, and
  • he sat up, breathless. Suppose Wain took it into his head to make a
  • tour of the dormitories, to see that all was well! Wyatt was still
  • in the garden somewhere, blissfully unconscious of what was going on
  • indoors. He would be caught for a certainty!
  • CHAPTER VI
  • IN WHICH A TIGHT CORNER IS EVADED
  • For a moment the situation paralysed Mike. Then he began to be equal
  • to it. In times of excitement one thinks rapidly and clearly. The main
  • point, the kernel of the whole thing, was that he must get into the
  • garden somehow, and warn Wyatt. And at the same time, he must keep Mr.
  • Wain from coming to the dormitory. He jumped out of bed, and dashed
  • down the dark stairs.
  • He had taken care to close the dining-room door after him. It was open
  • now, and he could hear somebody moving inside the room. Evidently his
  • retreat had been made just in time.
  • He knocked at the door, and went in.
  • Mr. Wain was standing at the window, looking out. He spun round at the
  • knock, and stared in astonishment at Mike's pyjama-clad figure. Mike,
  • in spite of his anxiety, could barely check a laugh. Mr. Wain was a
  • tall, thin man, with a serious face partially obscured by a grizzled
  • beard. He wore spectacles, through which he peered owlishly at Mike.
  • His body was wrapped in a brown dressing-gown. His hair was ruffled.
  • He looked like some weird bird.
  • "Please, sir, I thought I heard a noise," said Mike.
  • Mr. Wain continued to stare.
  • "What are you doing here?" said he at last.
  • "Thought I heard a noise, please, sir."
  • "A noise?"
  • "Please, sir, a row."
  • "You thought you heard----!"
  • The thing seemed to be worrying Mr. Wain.
  • "So I came down, sir," said Mike.
  • The house-master's giant brain still appeared to be somewhat clouded.
  • He looked about him, and, catching sight of the gramophone, drew
  • inspiration from it.
  • "Did you turn on the gramophone?" he asked.
  • "_Me_, sir!" said Mike, with the air of a bishop accused of
  • contributing to the _Police News_.
  • "Of course not, of course not," said Mr. Wain hurriedly. "Of course
  • not. I don't know why I asked. All this is very unsettling. What are
  • you doing here?"
  • "Thought I heard a noise, please, sir."
  • "A noise?"
  • "A row, sir."
  • If it was Mr. Wain's wish that he should spend the night playing Massa
  • Tambo to his Massa Bones, it was not for him to baulk the house-master's
  • innocent pleasure. He was prepared to continue the snappy dialogue till
  • breakfast time.
  • "I think there must have been a burglar in here, Jackson."
  • "Looks like it, sir."
  • "I found the window open."
  • "He's probably in the garden, sir."
  • Mr. Wain looked out into the garden with an annoyed expression, as if
  • its behaviour in letting burglars be in it struck him as unworthy of a
  • respectable garden.
  • "He might be still in the house," said Mr. Wain, ruminatively.
  • "Not likely, sir."
  • "You think not?"
  • "Wouldn't be such a fool, sir. I mean, such an ass, sir."
  • "Perhaps you are right, Jackson."
  • "I shouldn't wonder if he was hiding in the shrubbery, sir."
  • Mr. Wain looked at the shrubbery, as who should say, _"Et tu,
  • Brute!"_
  • "By Jove! I think I see him," cried Mike. He ran to the window, and
  • vaulted through it on to the lawn. An inarticulate protest from Mr.
  • Wain, rendered speechless by this move just as he had been beginning
  • to recover his faculties, and he was running across the lawn into the
  • shrubbery. He felt that all was well. There might be a bit of a row on
  • his return, but he could always plead overwhelming excitement.
  • Wyatt was round at the back somewhere, and the problem was how to get
  • back without being seen from the dining-room window. Fortunately a
  • belt of evergreens ran along the path right up to the house. Mike
  • worked his way cautiously through these till he was out of sight, then
  • tore for the regions at the back.
  • The moon had gone behind the clouds, and it was not easy to find a way
  • through the bushes. Twice branches sprang out from nowhere, and hit
  • Mike smartly over the shins, eliciting sharp howls of pain.
  • On the second of these occasions a low voice spoke from somewhere on
  • his right.
  • "Who on earth's that?" it said.
  • Mike stopped.
  • "Is that you, Wyatt? I say----"
  • "Jackson!"
  • The moon came out again, and Mike saw Wyatt clearly. His knees were
  • covered with mould. He had evidently been crouching in the bushes on
  • all fours.
  • "You young ass," said Wyatt. "You promised me that you wouldn't get
  • out."
  • "Yes, I know, but----"
  • "I heard you crashing through the shrubbery like a hundred elephants.
  • If you _must_ get out at night and chance being sacked, you might
  • at least have the sense to walk quietly."
  • "Yes, but you don't understand."
  • And Mike rapidly explained the situation.
  • "But how the dickens did he hear you, if you were in the dining-room?"
  • asked Wyatt. "It's miles from his bedroom. You must tread like a
  • policeman."
  • "It wasn't that. The thing was, you see, it was rather a rotten thing
  • to do, I suppose, but I turned on the gramophone."
  • "You--_what?_"
  • "The gramophone. It started playing 'The Quaint Old Bird.' Ripping it
  • was, till Wain came along."
  • Wyatt doubled up with noiseless laughter.
  • "You're a genius," he said. "I never saw such a man. Well, what's the
  • game now? What's the idea?"
  • "I think you'd better nip back along the wall and in through the
  • window, and I'll go back to the dining-room. Then it'll be all right
  • if Wain comes and looks into the dorm. Or, if you like, you might come
  • down too, as if you'd just woke up and thought you'd heard a row."
  • "That's not a bad idea. All right. You dash along then. I'll get
  • back."
  • Mr. Wain was still in the dining-room, drinking in the beauties of the
  • summer night through the open window. He gibbered slightly when Mike
  • reappeared.
  • "Jackson! What do you mean by running about outside the house in this
  • way! I shall punish you very heavily. I shall certainly report the
  • matter to the headmaster. I will not have boys rushing about the
  • garden in their pyjamas. You will catch an exceedingly bad cold. You
  • will do me two hundred lines, Latin and English. Exceedingly so. I
  • will not have it. Did you not hear me call to you?"
  • "Please, sir, so excited," said Mike, standing outside with his hands
  • on the sill.
  • "You have no business to be excited. I will not have it. It is
  • exceedingly impertinent of you."
  • "Please, sir, may I come in?"
  • "Come in! Of course, come in. Have you no sense, boy? You are laying
  • the seeds of a bad cold. Come in at once."
  • Mike clambered through the window.
  • "I couldn't find him, sir. He must have got out of the garden."
  • "Undoubtedly," said Mr. Wain. "Undoubtedly so. It was very wrong of
  • you to search for him. You have been seriously injured. Exceedingly
  • so"
  • He was about to say more on the subject when Wyatt strolled into the
  • room. Wyatt wore the rather dazed expression of one who has been
  • aroused from deep sleep. He yawned before he spoke.
  • "I thought I heard a noise, sir," he said.
  • He called Mr. Wain "father" in private, "sir" in public. The presence
  • of Mike made this a public occasion.
  • "Has there been a burglary?"
  • "Yes," said Mike, "only he has got away."
  • "Shall I go out into the garden, and have a look round, sir?" asked
  • Wyatt helpfully.
  • The question stung Mr. Wain into active eruption once more.
  • "Under no circumstances whatever," he said excitedly. "Stay where you
  • are, James. I will not have boys running about my garden at night. It
  • is preposterous. Inordinately so. Both of you go to bed immediately. I
  • shall not speak to you again on this subject. I must be obeyed
  • instantly. You hear me, Jackson? James, you understand me? To bed at
  • once. And, if I find you outside your dormitory again to-night, you
  • will both be punished with extreme severity. I will not have this lax
  • and reckless behaviour."
  • "But the burglar, sir?" said Wyatt.
  • "We might catch him, sir," said Mike.
  • Mr. Wain's manner changed to a slow and stately sarcasm, in much the
  • same way as a motor-car changes from the top speed to its first.
  • "I was under the impression," he said, in the heavy way almost
  • invariably affected by weak masters in their dealings with the
  • obstreperous, "I was distinctly under the impression that I had
  • ordered you to retire immediately to your dormitory. It is possible
  • that you mistook my meaning. In that case I shall be happy to repeat
  • what I said. It is also in my mind that I threatened to punish you
  • with the utmost severity if you did not retire at once. In these
  • circumstances, James--and you, Jackson--you will doubtless see the
  • necessity of complying with my wishes."
  • They made it so.
  • CHAPTER VII
  • IN WHICH MIKE IS DISCUSSED
  • Trevor and Clowes, of Donaldson's, were sitting in their study a week
  • after the gramophone incident, preparatory to going on the river. At
  • least Trevor was in the study, getting tea ready. Clowes was on the
  • window-sill, one leg in the room, the other outside, hanging over
  • space. He loved to sit in this attitude, watching some one else work,
  • and giving his views on life to whoever would listen to them. Clowes
  • was tall, and looked sad, which he was not. Trevor was shorter, and
  • very much in earnest over all that he did. On the present occasion he
  • was measuring out tea with a concentration worthy of a general
  • planning a campaign.
  • "One for the pot," said Clowes.
  • "All right," breathed Trevor. "Come and help, you slacker."
  • "Too busy."
  • "You aren't doing a stroke."
  • "My lad, I'm thinking of Life. That's a thing you couldn't do. I often
  • say to people, 'Good chap, Trevor, but can't think of Life. Give him a
  • tea-pot and half a pound of butter to mess about with,' I say, 'and
  • he's all right. But when it comes to deep thought, where is he? Among
  • the also-rans.' That's what I say."
  • "Silly ass," said Trevor, slicing bread. "What particular rot were you
  • thinking about just then? What fun it was sitting back and watching
  • other fellows work, I should think."
  • "My mind at the moment," said Clowes, "was tensely occupied with the
  • problem of brothers at school. Have you got any brothers, Trevor?"
  • "One. Couple of years younger than me. I say, we shall want some more
  • jam to-morrow. Better order it to-day."
  • "See it done, Tigellinus, as our old pal Nero used to remark. Where is
  • he? Your brother, I mean."
  • "Marlborough."
  • "That shows your sense. I have always had a high opinion of your
  • sense, Trevor. If you'd been a silly ass, you'd have let your people
  • send him here."
  • "Why not? Shouldn't have minded."
  • "I withdraw what I said about your sense. Consider it unsaid. I have a
  • brother myself. Aged fifteen. Not a bad chap in his way. Like the
  • heroes of the school stories. 'Big blue eyes literally bubbling over
  • with fun.' At least, I suppose it's fun to him. Cheek's what I call
  • it. My people wanted to send him here. I lodged a protest. I said,
  • 'One Clowes is ample for any public school.'"
  • "You were right there," said Trevor.
  • "I said, 'One Clowes is luxury, two excess.' I pointed out that I was
  • just on the verge of becoming rather a blood at Wrykyn, and that I
  • didn't want the work of years spoiled by a brother who would think it
  • a rag to tell fellows who respected and admired me----"
  • "Such as who?"
  • "----Anecdotes of a chequered infancy. There are stories about me
  • which only my brother knows. Did I want them spread about the school?
  • No, laddie, I did not. Hence, we see my brother two terms ago, packing
  • up his little box, and tooling off to Rugby. And here am I at Wrykyn,
  • with an unstained reputation, loved by all who know me, revered by all
  • who don't; courted by boys, fawned upon by masters. People's faces
  • brighten when I throw them a nod. If I frown----"
  • "Oh, come on," said Trevor.
  • Bread and jam and cake monopolised Clowes's attention for the next
  • quarter of an hour. At the end of that period, however, he returned to
  • his subject.
  • "After the serious business of the meal was concluded, and a simple
  • hymn had been sung by those present," he said, "Mr. Clowes resumed his
  • very interesting remarks. We were on the subject of brothers at
  • school. Now, take the melancholy case of Jackson Brothers. My heart
  • bleeds for Bob."
  • "Jackson's all right. What's wrong with him? Besides, naturally, young
  • Jackson came to Wrykyn when all his brothers had been here."
  • "What a rotten argument. It's just the one used by chaps' people, too.
  • They think how nice it will be for all the sons to have been at the
  • same school. It may be all right after they're left, but while they're
  • there, it's the limit. You say Jackson's all right. At present,
  • perhaps, he is. But the term's hardly started yet."
  • "Well?"
  • "Look here, what's at the bottom of this sending young brothers to the
  • same school as elder brothers?"
  • "Elder brother can keep an eye on him, I suppose."
  • "That's just it. For once in your life you've touched the spot. In
  • other words, Bob Jackson is practically responsible for the kid.
  • That's where the whole rotten trouble starts."
  • "Why?"
  • "Well, what happens? He either lets the kid rip, in which case he may
  • find himself any morning in the pleasant position of having to explain
  • to his people exactly why it is that little Willie has just received
  • the boot, and why he didn't look after him better: or he spends all
  • his spare time shadowing him to see that he doesn't get into trouble.
  • He feels that his reputation hangs on the kid's conduct, so he broods
  • over him like a policeman, which is pretty rotten for him and maddens
  • the kid, who looks on him as no sportsman. Bob seems to be trying the
  • first way, which is what I should do myself. It's all right, so far,
  • but, as I said, the term's only just started."
  • "Young Jackson seems all right. What's wrong with him? He doesn't
  • stick on side any way, which he might easily do, considering his
  • cricket."
  • "There's nothing wrong with him in that way. I've talked to him
  • several times at the nets, and he's very decent. But his getting into
  • trouble hasn't anything to do with us. It's the masters you've got to
  • consider."
  • "What's up? Does he rag?"
  • "From what I gather from fellows in his form he's got a genius for
  • ragging. Thinks of things that don't occur to anybody else, and does
  • them, too."
  • "He never seems to be in extra. One always sees him about on
  • half-holidays."
  • "That's always the way with that sort of chap. He keeps on wriggling
  • out of small rows till he thinks he can do anything he likes without
  • being dropped on, and then all of a sudden he finds himself up to the
  • eyebrows in a record smash. I don't say young Jackson will land
  • himself like that. All I say is that he's just the sort who does. He's
  • asking for trouble. Besides, who do you see him about with all the
  • time?"
  • "He's generally with Wyatt when I meet him."
  • "Yes. Well, then!"
  • "What's wrong with Wyatt? He's one of the decentest men in the
  • school."
  • "I know. But he's working up for a tremendous row one of these days,
  • unless he leaves before it comes off. The odds are, if Jackson's so
  • thick with him, that he'll be roped into it too. Wyatt wouldn't land
  • him if he could help it, but he probably wouldn't realise what he was
  • letting the kid in for. For instance, I happen to know that Wyatt
  • breaks out of his dorm. every other night. I don't know if he takes
  • Jackson with him. I shouldn't think so. But there's nothing to prevent
  • Jackson following him on his own. And if you're caught at that game,
  • it's the boot every time."
  • Trevor looked disturbed.
  • "Somebody ought to speak to Bob."
  • "What's the good? Why worry him? Bob couldn't do anything. You'd only
  • make him do the policeman business, which he hasn't time for, and
  • which is bound to make rows between them. Better leave him alone."
  • "I don't know. It would be a beastly thing for Bob if the kid did get
  • into a really bad row."
  • "If you must tell anybody, tell the Gazeka. He's head of Wain's, and
  • has got far more chance of keeping an eye on Jackson than Bob has."
  • "The Gazeka is a fool."
  • "All front teeth and side. Still, he's on the spot. But what's the
  • good of worrying. It's nothing to do with us, anyhow. Let's stagger
  • out, shall we?"
  • * * * * *
  • Trevor's conscientious nature, however, made it impossible for him to
  • drop the matter. It disturbed him all the time that he and Clowes were
  • on the river; and, walking back to the house, he resolved to see Bob
  • about it during preparation.
  • He found him in his study, oiling a bat.
  • "I say, Bob," he said, "look here. Are you busy?"
  • "No. Why?"
  • "It's this way. Clowes and I were talking----"
  • "If Clowes was there he was probably talking. Well?"
  • "About your brother."
  • "Oh, by Jove," said Bob, sitting up. "That reminds me. I forgot to get
  • the evening paper. Did he get his century all right?"
  • "Who?" asked Trevor, bewildered.
  • "My brother, J. W. He'd made sixty-three not out against Kent in this
  • morning's paper. What happened?"
  • "I didn't get a paper either. I didn't mean that brother. I meant the
  • one here."
  • "Oh, Mike? What's Mike been up to?"
  • "Nothing as yet, that I know of; but, I say, you know, he seems a
  • great pal of Wyatt's."
  • "I know. I spoke to him about it."
  • "Oh, you did? That's all right, then."
  • "Not that there's anything wrong with Wyatt."
  • "Not a bit. Only he is rather mucking about this term, I hear. It's
  • his last, so I suppose he wants to have a rag."
  • "Don't blame him."
  • "Nor do I. Rather rot, though, if he lugged your brother into a row by
  • accident."
  • "I should get blamed. I think I'll speak to him again."
  • "I should, I think."
  • "I hope he isn't idiot enough to go out at night with Wyatt. If Wyatt
  • likes to risk it, all right. That's his look out. But it won't do for
  • Mike to go playing the goat too."
  • "Clowes suggested putting Firby-Smith on to him. He'd have more
  • chance, being in the same house, of seeing that he didn't come a
  • mucker than you would."
  • "I've done that. Smith said he'd speak to him."
  • "That's all right then. Is that a new bat?"
  • "Got it to-day. Smashed my other yesterday--against the school house."
  • Donaldson's had played a friendly with the school house during the
  • last two days, and had beaten them.
  • "I thought I heard it go. You were rather in form."
  • "Better than at the beginning of the term, anyhow. I simply couldn't
  • do a thing then. But my last three innings have been 33 not out, 18,
  • and 51.
  • "I should think you're bound to get your first all right."
  • "Hope so. I see Mike's playing for the second against the O.W.s."
  • "Yes. Pretty good for his first term. You have a pro. to coach you in
  • the holidays, don't you?"
  • "Yes. I didn't go to him much this last time. I was away a lot. But
  • Mike fairly lived inside the net."
  • "Well, it's not been chucked away. I suppose he'll get his first next
  • year. There'll be a big clearing-out of colours at the end of this
  • term. Nearly all the first are leaving. Henfrey'll be captain, I
  • expect."
  • "Saunders, the pro. at home, always says that Mike's going to be the
  • star cricketer of the family. Better than J. W. even, he thinks. I
  • asked him what he thought of me, and he said, 'You'll be making a lot
  • of runs some day, Mr. Bob.' There's a subtle difference, isn't there?
  • I shall have Mike cutting me out before I leave school if I'm not
  • careful."
  • "Sort of infant prodigy," said Trevor. "Don't think he's quite up to
  • it yet, though."
  • He went back to his study, and Bob, having finished his oiling and
  • washed his hands, started on his Thucydides. And, in the stress of
  • wrestling with the speech of an apparently delirious Athenian general,
  • whose remarks seemed to contain nothing even remotely resembling sense
  • and coherence, he allowed the question of Mike's welfare to fade from
  • his mind like a dissolving view.
  • CHAPTER VIII
  • A ROW WITH THE TOWN
  • The beginning of a big row, one of those rows which turn a school
  • upside down like a volcanic eruption and provide old boys with
  • something to talk about, when they meet, for years, is not unlike the
  • beginning of a thunderstorm.
  • You are walking along one seemingly fine day, when suddenly there is a
  • hush, and there falls on you from space one big drop. The next moment
  • the thing has begun, and you are standing in a shower-bath. It is just
  • the same with a row. Some trivial episode occurs, and in an instant
  • the place is in a ferment. It was so with the great picnic at Wrykyn.
  • The bare outlines of the beginning of this affair are included in a
  • letter which Mike wrote to his father on the Sunday following the Old
  • Wrykynian matches.
  • This was the letter:
  • "DEAR FATHER,--Thanks awfully for your letter. I hope you are quite
  • well. I have been getting on all right at cricket lately. My scores
  • since I wrote last have been 0 in a scratch game (the sun got in my
  • eyes just as I played, and I got bowled); 15 for the third against an
  • eleven of masters (without G. B. Jones, the Surrey man, and Spence);
  • 28 not out in the Under Sixteen game; and 30 in a form match. Rather
  • decent. Yesterday one of the men put down for the second against the
  • O.W.'s second couldn't play because his father was very ill, so I
  • played. Wasn't it luck? It's the first time I've played for the
  • second. I didn't do much, because I didn't get an innings. They stop
  • the cricket on O.W. matches day because they have a lot of rotten
  • Greek plays and things which take up a frightful time, and half the
  • chaps are acting, so we stop from lunch to four. Rot I call it. So I
  • didn't go in, because they won the toss and made 215, and by the time
  • we'd made 140 for 6 it was close of play. They'd stuck me in eighth
  • wicket. Rather rot. Still, I may get another shot. And I made rather a
  • decent catch at mid-on. Low down. I had to dive for it. Bob played for
  • the first, but didn't do much. He was run out after he'd got ten. I
  • believe he's rather sick about it.
  • "Rather a rummy thing happened after lock-up. I wasn't in it, but a
  • fellow called Wyatt (awfully decent chap. He's Wain's step-son, only
  • they bar one another) told me about it. He was in it all right.
  • There's a dinner after the matches on O.W. day, and some of the chaps
  • were going back to their houses after it when they got into a row with
  • a lot of brickies from the town, and there was rather a row. There was
  • a policeman mixed up in it somehow, only I don't quite know where he
  • comes in. I'll find out and tell you next time I write. Love to
  • everybody. Tell Marjory I'll write to her in a day or two.
  • "Your loving son,
  • "MIKE.
  • "P.S.--I say, I suppose you couldn't send me five bob, could you? I'm
  • rather broke.
  • "P.P.S.--Half-a-crown would do, only I'd rather it was five bob."
  • And, on the back of the envelope, these words: "Or a bob would be
  • better than nothing."
  • * * * * *
  • The outline of the case was as Mike had stated. But there were certain
  • details of some importance which had not come to his notice when he
  • sent the letter. On the Monday they were public property.
  • The thing had happened after this fashion. At the conclusion of the
  • day's cricket, all those who had been playing in the four elevens
  • which the school put into the field against the old boys, together
  • with the school choir, were entertained by the headmaster to supper in
  • the Great Hall. The banquet, lengthened by speeches, songs, and
  • recitations which the reciters imagined to be songs, lasted, as a
  • rule, till about ten o'clock, when the revellers were supposed to go
  • back to their houses by the nearest route, and turn in. This was the
  • official programme. The school usually performed it with certain
  • modifications and improvements.
  • About midway between Wrykyn, the school, and Wrykyn, the town, there
  • stands on an island in the centre of the road a solitary lamp-post. It
  • was the custom, and had been the custom for generations back, for the
  • diners to trudge off to this lamp-post, dance round it for some
  • minutes singing the school song or whatever happened to be the popular
  • song of the moment, and then race back to their houses. Antiquity had
  • given the custom a sort of sanctity, and the authorities, if they
  • knew--which they must have done--never interfered.
  • But there were others.
  • Wrykyn, the town, was peculiarly rich in "gangs of youths." Like the
  • vast majority of the inhabitants of the place, they seemed to have no
  • work of any kind whatsoever to occupy their time, which they used,
  • accordingly, to spend prowling about and indulging in a mild,
  • brainless, rural type of hooliganism. They seldom proceeded to
  • practical rowdyism and never except with the school. As a rule, they
  • amused themselves by shouting rude chaff. The school regarded them
  • with a lofty contempt, much as an Oxford man regards the townee. The
  • school was always anxious for a row, but it was the unwritten law that
  • only in special circumstances should they proceed to active measures.
  • A curious dislike for school-and-town rows and most misplaced severity
  • in dealing with the offenders when they took place, were among the few
  • flaws in the otherwise admirable character of the headmaster of
  • Wrykyn. It was understood that one scragged bargees at one's own risk,
  • and, as a rule, it was not considered worth it.
  • But after an excellent supper and much singing and joviality, one's
  • views are apt to alter. Risks which before supper seemed great, show a
  • tendency to dwindle.
  • When, therefore, the twenty or so Wrykynians who were dancing round
  • the lamp-post were aware, in the midst of their festivities, that they
  • were being observed and criticised by an equal number of townees, and
  • that the criticisms were, as usual, essentially candid and personal,
  • they found themselves forgetting the headmaster's prejudices and
  • feeling only that these outsiders must be put to the sword as speedily
  • as possible, for the honour of the school.
  • Possibly, if the town brigade had stuck to a purely verbal form of
  • attack, all might yet have been peace. Words can be overlooked.
  • But tomatoes cannot.
  • No man of spirit can bear to be pelted with over-ripe tomatoes for any
  • length of time without feeling that if the thing goes on much longer
  • he will be reluctantly compelled to take steps.
  • In the present crisis, the first tomato was enough to set matters
  • moving.
  • As the two armies stood facing each other in silence under the dim and
  • mysterious rays of the lamp, it suddenly whizzed out from the enemy's
  • ranks, and hit Wyatt on the right ear.
  • There was a moment of suspense. Wyatt took out his handkerchief and
  • wiped his face, over which the succulent vegetable had spread itself.
  • "I don't know how you fellows are going to pass the evening," he said
  • quietly. "My idea of a good after-dinner game is to try and find the
  • chap who threw that. Anybody coming?"
  • For the first five minutes it was as even a fight as one could have
  • wished to see. It raged up and down the road without a pause, now in a
  • solid mass, now splitting up into little groups. The science was on
  • the side of the school. Most Wrykynians knew how to box to a certain
  • extent. But, at any rate at first, it was no time for science. To be
  • scientific one must have an opponent who observes at least the more
  • important rules of the ring. It is impossible to do the latest ducks
  • and hooks taught you by the instructor if your antagonist butts you in
  • the chest, and then kicks your shins, while some dear friend of his,
  • of whose presence you had no idea, hits you at the same time on the
  • back of the head. The greatest expert would lose his science in such
  • circumstances.
  • Probably what gave the school the victory in the end was the
  • righteousness of their cause. They were smarting under a sense of
  • injury, and there is nothing that adds a force to one's blows and a
  • recklessness to one's style of delivering them more than a sense of
  • injury.
  • Wyatt, one side of his face still showing traces of the tomato, led
  • the school with a vigour that could not be resisted. He very seldom
  • lost his temper, but he did draw the line at bad tomatoes.
  • Presently the school noticed that the enemy were vanishing little by
  • little into the darkness which concealed the town. Barely a dozen
  • remained. And their lonely condition seemed to be borne in upon these
  • by a simultaneous brain-wave, for they suddenly gave the fight up, and
  • stampeded as one man.
  • The leaders were beyond recall, but two remained, tackled low by Wyatt
  • and Clowes after the fashion of the football-field.
  • * * * * *
  • The school gathered round its prisoners, panting. The scene of the
  • conflict had shifted little by little to a spot some fifty yards from
  • where it had started. By the side of the road at this point was a
  • green, depressed looking pond. Gloomy in the daytime, it looked
  • unspeakable at night. It struck Wyatt, whose finer feelings had been
  • entirely blotted out by tomato, as an ideal place in which to bestow
  • the captives.
  • "Let's chuck 'em in there," he said.
  • The idea was welcomed gladly by all, except the prisoners. A move was
  • made towards the pond, and the procession had halted on the brink,
  • when a new voice made itself heard.
  • "Now then," it said, "what's all this?"
  • A stout figure in policeman's uniform was standing surveying them with
  • the aid of a small bull's-eye lantern.
  • "What's all this?"
  • "It's all right," said Wyatt.
  • "All right, is it? What's on?"
  • One of the prisoners spoke.
  • "Make 'em leave hold of us, Mr. Butt. They're a-going to chuck us in
  • the pond."
  • "Ho!" said the policeman, with a change in his voice. "Ho, are they?
  • Come now, young gentleman, a lark's a lark, but you ought to know
  • where to stop."
  • "It's anything but a lark," said Wyatt in the creamy voice he used
  • when feeling particularly savage. "We're the Strong Right Arm of
  • Justice. That's what we are. This isn't a lark, it's an execution."
  • "I don't want none of your lip, whoever you are," said Mr. Butt,
  • understanding but dimly, and suspecting impudence by instinct.
  • "This is quite a private matter," said Wyatt. "You run along on your
  • beat. You can't do anything here."
  • "Ho!"
  • "Shove 'em in, you chaps."
  • "Stop!" From Mr. Butt.
  • "Oo-er!" From prisoner number one.
  • There was a sounding splash as willing hands urged the first of the
  • captives into the depths. He ploughed his way to the bank, scrambled
  • out, and vanished.
  • Wyatt turned to the other prisoner.
  • "You'll have the worst of it, going in second. He'll have churned up
  • the mud a bit. Don't swallow more than you can help, or you'll go
  • getting typhoid. I expect there are leeches and things there, but if
  • you nip out quick they may not get on to you. Carry on, you chaps."
  • It was here that the regrettable incident occurred. Just as the second
  • prisoner was being launched, Constable Butt, determined to assert
  • himself even at the eleventh hour, sprang forward, and seized the
  • captive by the arm. A drowning man will clutch at a straw. A man about
  • to be hurled into an excessively dirty pond will clutch at a stout
  • policeman. The prisoner did.
  • Constable Butt represented his one link with dry land. As he came
  • within reach he attached himself to his tunic with the vigour and
  • concentration of a limpet.
  • At the same moment the executioners gave their man the final heave.
  • The policeman realised his peril too late. A medley of noises made the
  • peaceful night hideous. A howl from the townee, a yell from the
  • policeman, a cheer from the launching party, a frightened squawk from
  • some birds in a neighbouring tree, and a splash compared with which
  • the first had been as nothing, and all was over.
  • The dark waters were lashed into a maelstrom; and then two streaming
  • figures squelched up the further bank.
  • [Illustration: THE DARK WATERS WERE LASHED INTO A MAELSTROM]
  • The school stood in silent consternation. It was no occasion for light
  • apologies.
  • "Do you know," said Wyatt, as he watched the Law shaking the water
  • from itself on the other side of the pond, "I'm not half sure that we
  • hadn't better be moving!"
  • CHAPTER IX
  • BEFORE THE STORM
  • Your real, devastating row has many points of resemblance with a
  • prairie fire. A man on a prairie lights his pipe, and throws away the
  • match. The flame catches a bunch of dry grass, and, before any one can
  • realise what is happening, sheets of fire are racing over the country;
  • and the interested neighbours are following their example. (I have
  • already compared a row with a thunderstorm; but both comparisons may
  • stand. In dealing with so vast a matter as a row there must be no
  • stint.)
  • The tomato which hit Wyatt in the face was the thrown-away match. But
  • for the unerring aim of the town marksman great events would never
  • have happened. A tomato is a trivial thing (though it is possible that
  • the man whom it hits may not think so), but in the present case, it
  • was the direct cause of epoch-making trouble.
  • The tomato hit Wyatt. Wyatt, with others, went to look for the
  • thrower. The remnants of the thrower's friends were placed in the
  • pond, and "with them," as they say in the courts of law, Police
  • Constable Alfred Butt.
  • Following the chain of events, we find Mr. Butt, having prudently
  • changed his clothes, calling upon the headmaster.
  • The headmaster was grave and sympathetic; Mr. Butt fierce and
  • revengeful.
  • The imagination of the force is proverbial. Nurtured on motor-cars and
  • fed with stop-watches, it has become world-famous. Mr. Butt gave free
  • rein to it.
  • "Threw me in, they did, sir. Yes, sir."
  • "Threw you in!"
  • "Yes, sir. _Plop_!" said Mr. Butt, with a certain sad relish.
  • "Really, really!" said the headmaster. "Indeed! This is--dear me! I
  • shall certainly--They threw you in!--Yes, I shall--certainly----"
  • Encouraged by this appreciative reception of his story, Mr. Butt
  • started it again, right from the beginning.
  • "I was on my beat, sir, and I thought I heard a disturbance. I says to
  • myself, ''Allo,' I says, 'a frakkus. Lots of them all gathered
  • together, and fighting.' I says, beginning to suspect something,
  • 'Wot's this all about, I wonder?' I says. 'Blow me if I don't think
  • it's a frakkus.' And," concluded Mr. Butt, with the air of one
  • confiding a secret, "and it _was_ a frakkus!"
  • "And these boys actually threw you into the pond?"
  • "_Plop_, sir! Mrs. Butt is drying my uniform at home at this very
  • moment as we sit talking here, sir. She says to me, 'Why, whatever
  • _'ave_ you been a-doing? You're all wet.' And," he added, again
  • with the confidential air, "I _was_ wet, too. Wringin' wet."
  • The headmaster's frown deepened.
  • "And you are certain that your assailants were boys from the school?"
  • "Sure as I am that I'm sitting here, sir. They all 'ad their caps on
  • their heads, sir."
  • "I have never heard of such a thing. I can hardly believe that it is
  • possible. They actually seized you, and threw you into the water----"
  • "_Splish_, sir!" said the policeman, with a vividness of imagery
  • both surprising and gratifying.
  • The headmaster tapped restlessly on the floor with his foot.
  • "How many boys were there?" he asked.
  • "Couple of 'undred, sir," said Mr. Butt promptly.
  • "Two hundred!"
  • "It was dark, sir, and I couldn't see not to say properly; but if you
  • ask me my frank and private opinion I should say couple of 'undred."
  • "H'm--Well, I will look into the matter at once. They shall be
  • punished."
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "Ye-e-s--H'm--Yes--Most severely."
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "Yes--Thank you, constable. Good-night."
  • "Good-night, sir."
  • The headmaster of Wrykyn was not a motorist. Owing to this
  • disadvantage he made a mistake. Had he been a motorist, he would have
  • known that statements by the police in the matter of figures must be
  • divided by any number from two to ten, according to discretion. As it
  • was, he accepted Constable Butt's report almost as it stood. He
  • thought that he might possibly have been mistaken as to the exact
  • numbers of those concerned in his immersion; but he accepted the
  • statement in so far as it indicated that the thing had been the work
  • of a considerable section of the school, and not of only one or two
  • individuals. And this made all the difference to his method of dealing
  • with the affair. Had he known how few were the numbers of those
  • responsible for the cold in the head which subsequently attacked
  • Constable Butt, he would have asked for their names, and an extra
  • lesson would have settled the entire matter.
  • As it was, however, he got the impression that the school, as a whole,
  • was culpable, and he proceeded to punish the school as a whole.
  • It happened that, about a week before the pond episode, a certain
  • member of the Royal Family had recovered from a dangerous illness,
  • which at one time had looked like being fatal. No official holiday had
  • been given to the schools in honour of the recovery, but Eton and
  • Harrow had set the example, which was followed throughout the kingdom,
  • and Wrykyn had come into line with the rest. Only two days before the
  • O.W.'s matches the headmaster had given out a notice in the hall that
  • the following Friday would be a whole holiday; and the school, always
  • ready to stop work, had approved of the announcement exceedingly.
  • The step which the headmaster decided to take by way of avenging Mr.
  • Butt's wrongs was to stop this holiday.
  • He gave out a notice to that effect on the Monday.
  • The school was thunderstruck. It could not understand it. The pond
  • affair had, of course, become public property; and those who had had
  • nothing to do with it had been much amused. "There'll be a frightful
  • row about it," they had said, thrilled with the pleasant excitement of
  • those who see trouble approaching and themselves looking on from a
  • comfortable distance without risk or uneasiness. They were not
  • malicious. They did not want to see their friends in difficulties. But
  • there is no denying that a row does break the monotony of a school
  • term. The thrilling feeling that something is going to happen is the
  • salt of life....
  • And here they were, right in it after all. The blow had fallen, and
  • crushed guilty and innocent alike.
  • * * * * *
  • The school's attitude can be summed up in three words. It was one
  • vast, blank, astounded "Here, I say!"
  • Everybody was saying it, though not always in those words. When
  • condensed, everybody's comment on the situation came to that.
  • * * * * *
  • There is something rather pathetic in the indignation of a school. It
  • must always, or nearly always, expend itself in words, and in private
  • at that. Even the consolation of getting on to platforms and shouting
  • at itself is denied to it. A public school has no Hyde Park.
  • There is every probability--in fact, it is certain--that, but for one
  • malcontent, the school's indignation would have been allowed to simmer
  • down in the usual way, and finally become a mere vague memory.
  • The malcontent was Wyatt. He had been responsible for the starting of
  • the matter, and he proceeded now to carry it on till it blazed up into
  • the biggest thing of its kind ever known at Wrykyn--the Great Picnic.
  • * * * * *
  • Any one who knows the public schools, their ironbound conservatism,
  • and, as a whole, intense respect for order and authority, will
  • appreciate the magnitude of his feat, even though he may not approve
  • of it. Leaders of men are rare. Leaders of boys are almost unknown. It
  • requires genius to sway a school.
  • It would be an absorbing task for a psychologist to trace the various
  • stages by which an impossibility was changed into a reality. Wyatt's
  • coolness and matter-of-fact determination were his chief weapons. His
  • popularity and reputation for lawlessness helped him. A conversation
  • which he had with Neville-Smith, a day-boy, is typical of the way in
  • which he forced his point of view on the school.
  • Neville-Smith was thoroughly representative of the average Wrykynian.
  • He could play his part in any minor "rag" which interested him, and
  • probably considered himself, on the whole, a daring sort of person.
  • But at heart he had an enormous respect for authority. Before he came
  • to Wyatt, he would not have dreamed of proceeding beyond words in his
  • revolt. Wyatt acted on him like some drug.
  • Neville-Smith came upon Wyatt on his way to the nets. The notice
  • concerning the holiday had only been given out that morning, and he
  • was full of it. He expressed his opinion of the headmaster freely and
  • in well-chosen words. He said it was a swindle, that it was all rot,
  • and that it was a beastly shame. He added that something ought to be
  • done about it.
  • "What are you going to do?" asked Wyatt.
  • "Well," said Neville-Smith a little awkwardly, guiltily conscious that
  • he had been frothing, and scenting sarcasm, "I don't suppose one can
  • actually _do_ anything."
  • "Why not?" said Wyatt.
  • "What do you mean?"
  • "Why don't you take the holiday?"
  • "What? Not turn up on Friday!"
  • "Yes. I'm not going to."
  • Neville-Smith stopped and stared. Wyatt was unmoved.
  • "You're what?"
  • "I simply sha'n't go to school."
  • "You're rotting."
  • "All right."
  • "No, but, I say, ragging barred. Are you just going to cut off, though
  • the holiday's been stopped?"
  • "That's the idea."
  • "You'll get sacked."
  • "I suppose so. But only because I shall be the only one to do it. If
  • the whole school took Friday off, they couldn't do much. They couldn't
  • sack the whole school."
  • "By Jove, nor could they! I say!"
  • They walked on, Neville-Smith's mind in a whirl, Wyatt whistling.
  • "I say," said Neville-Smith after a pause. "It would be a bit of a
  • rag."
  • "Not bad."
  • "Do you think the chaps would do it?"
  • "If they understood they wouldn't be alone."
  • Another pause.
  • "Shall I ask some of them?" said Neville-Smith.
  • "Do."
  • "I could get quite a lot, I believe."
  • "That would be a start, wouldn't it? I could get a couple of dozen
  • from Wain's. We should be forty or fifty strong to start with."
  • "I say, what a score, wouldn't it be?"
  • "Yes."
  • "I'll speak to the chaps to-night, and let you know."
  • "All right," said Wyatt. "Tell them that I shall be going anyhow. I
  • should be glad of a little company."
  • * * * * *
  • The school turned in on the Thursday night in a restless, excited way.
  • There were mysterious whisperings and gigglings. Groups kept forming
  • in corners apart, to disperse casually and innocently on the approach
  • of some person in authority.
  • An air of expectancy permeated each of the houses.
  • CHAPTER X
  • THE GREAT PICNIC
  • Morning school at Wrykyn started at nine o'clock. At that hour there
  • was a call-over in each of the form-rooms. After call-over the forms
  • proceeded to the Great Hall for prayers.
  • A strangely desolate feeling was in the air at nine o'clock on the
  • Friday morning. Sit in the grounds of a public school any afternoon in
  • the summer holidays, and you will get exactly the same sensation of
  • being alone in the world as came to the dozen or so day-boys who
  • bicycled through the gates that morning. Wrykyn was a boarding-school
  • for the most part, but it had its leaven of day-boys. The majority of
  • these lived in the town, and walked to school. A few, however, whose
  • homes were farther away, came on bicycles. One plutocrat did the
  • journey in a motor-car, rather to the scandal of the authorities, who,
  • though unable to interfere, looked askance when compelled by the
  • warning toot of the horn to skip from road to pavement. A form-master
  • has the strongest objection to being made to skip like a young ram by
  • a boy to whom he has only the day before given a hundred lines for
  • shuffling his feet in form.
  • It seemed curious to these cyclists that there should be nobody about.
  • Punctuality is the politeness of princes, but it was not a leading
  • characteristic of the school; and at three minutes to nine, as a
  • general rule, you might see the gravel in front of the buildings
  • freely dotted with sprinters, trying to get in in time to answer their
  • names.
  • It was curious that there should be nobody about to-day. A wave of
  • reform could scarcely have swept through the houses during the night.
  • And yet--where was everybody?
  • Time only deepened the mystery. The form-rooms, like the gravel, were
  • empty.
  • The cyclists looked at one another in astonishment. What could it
  • mean?
  • It was an occasion on which sane people wonder if their brains are not
  • playing them some unaccountable trick.
  • "I say," said Willoughby, of the Lower Fifth, to Brown, the only other
  • occupant of the form-room, "the old man _did_ stop the holiday
  • to-day, didn't he?"
  • "Just what I was going to ask you," said Brown. "It's jolly rum. I
  • distinctly remember him giving it out in hall that it was going to be
  • stopped because of the O.W.'s day row."
  • "So do I. I can't make it out. Where _is_ everybody?"
  • "They can't _all_ be late."
  • "Somebody would have turned up by now. Why, it's just striking."
  • "Perhaps he sent another notice round the houses late last night,
  • saying it was on again all right. I say, what a swindle if he did.
  • Some one might have let us know. I should have got up an hour later."
  • "So should I."
  • "Hullo, here _is_ somebody."
  • It was the master of the Lower Fifth, Mr. Spence. He walked briskly
  • into the room, as was his habit. Seeing the obvious void, he stopped
  • in his stride, and looked puzzled.
  • "Willoughby. Brown. Are you the only two here? Where is everybody?"
  • "Please, sir, we don't know. We were just wondering."
  • "Have you seen nobody?"
  • "No, sir."
  • "We were just wondering, sir, if the holiday had been put on again,
  • after all."
  • "I've heard nothing about it. I should have received some sort of
  • intimation if it had been."
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "Do you mean to say that you have seen _nobody_, Brown?"
  • "Only about a dozen fellows, sir. The usual lot who come on bikes,
  • sir."
  • "None of the boarders?"
  • "No, sir. Not a single one."
  • "This is extraordinary."
  • Mr. Spence pondered.
  • "Well," he said, "you two fellows had better go along up to Hall. I
  • shall go to the Common Room and make inquiries. Perhaps, as you say,
  • there is a holiday to-day, and the notice was not brought to me."
  • Mr. Spence told himself, as he walked to the Common Room, that
  • this might be a possible solution of the difficulty. He was not a
  • house-master, and lived by himself in rooms in the town. It was
  • just conceivable that they might have forgotten to tell him of the
  • change in the arrangements.
  • But in the Common Room the same perplexity reigned. Half a dozen
  • masters were seated round the room, and a few more were standing. And
  • they were all very puzzled.
  • A brisk conversation was going on. Several voices hailed Mr. Spence as
  • he entered.
  • "Hullo, Spence. Are you alone in the world too?"
  • "Any of your boys turned up, Spence?"
  • "You in the same condition as we are, Spence?"
  • Mr. Spence seated himself on the table.
  • "Haven't any of your fellows turned up, either?" he said.
  • "When I accepted the honourable post of Lower Fourth master in this
  • abode of sin," said Mr. Seymour, "it was on the distinct understanding
  • that there was going to be a Lower Fourth. Yet I go into my form-room
  • this morning, and what do I find? Simply Emptiness, and Pickersgill II.
  • whistling 'The Church Parade,' all flat. I consider I have been hardly
  • treated."
  • "I have no complaint to make against Brown and Willoughby, as
  • individuals," said Mr. Spence; "but, considered as a form, I call them
  • short measure."
  • "I confess that I am entirely at a loss," said Mr. Shields precisely.
  • "I have never been confronted with a situation like this since I
  • became a schoolmaster."
  • "It is most mysterious," agreed Mr. Wain, plucking at his beard.
  • "Exceedingly so."
  • The younger masters, notably Mr. Spence and Mr. Seymour, had begun to
  • look on the thing as a huge jest.
  • "We had better teach ourselves," said Mr. Seymour. "Spence, do a
  • hundred lines for laughing in form."
  • The door burst open.
  • "Hullo, here's another scholastic Little Bo-Peep," said Mr. Seymour.
  • "Well, Appleby, have you lost your sheep, too?"
  • "You don't mean to tell me----" began Mr. Appleby.
  • "I do," said Mr. Seymour. "Here we are, fifteen of us, all good men
  • and true, graduates of our Universities, and, as far as I can see, if
  • we divide up the boys who have come to school this morning on fair
  • share-and-share-alike lines, it will work out at about two-thirds of a
  • boy each. Spence, will you take a third of Pickersgill II.?"
  • "I want none of your charity," said Mr. Spence loftily. "You don't
  • seem to realise that I'm the best off of you all. I've got two in my
  • form. It's no good offering me your Pickersgills. I simply haven't
  • room for them."
  • "What does it all mean?" exclaimed Mr. Appleby.
  • "If you ask me," said Mr. Seymour, "I should say that it meant that
  • the school, holding the sensible view that first thoughts are best,
  • have ignored the head's change of mind, and are taking their holiday
  • as per original programme."
  • "They surely cannot----!"
  • "Well, where are they then?"
  • "Do you seriously mean that the entire school has--has
  • _rebelled_?"
  • "'Nay, sire,'" quoted Mr. Spence, "'a revolution!'"
  • "I never heard of such a thing!"
  • "We're making history," said Mr. Seymour.
  • "It will be rather interesting," said Mr. Spence, "to see how the head
  • will deal with a situation like this. One can rely on him to do the
  • statesman-like thing, but I'm bound to say I shouldn't care to be in
  • his place. It seems to me these boys hold all the cards. You can't
  • expel a whole school. There's safety in numbers. The thing is
  • colossal."
  • "It is deplorable," said Mr. Wain, with austerity. "Exceedingly so."
  • "I try to think so," said Mr. Spence, "but it's a struggle. There's a
  • Napoleonic touch about the business that appeals to one. Disorder on a
  • small scale is bad, but this is immense. I've never heard of anything
  • like it at any public school. When I was at Winchester, my last year
  • there, there was pretty nearly a revolution because the captain of
  • cricket was expelled on the eve of the Eton match. I remember making
  • inflammatory speeches myself on that occasion. But we stopped on the
  • right side of the line. We were satisfied with growling. But this----!"
  • Mr. Seymour got up.
  • "It's an ill wind," he said. "With any luck we ought to get the day
  • off, and it's ideal weather for a holiday. The head can hardly ask us
  • to sit indoors, teaching nobody. If I have to stew in my form-room all
  • day, instructing Pickersgill II., I shall make things exceedingly
  • sultry for that youth. He will wish that the Pickersgill progeny had
  • stopped short at his elder brother. He will not value life. In the
  • meantime, as it's already ten past, hadn't we better be going up to
  • Hall to see what the orders of the day _are_?"
  • "Look at Shields," said Mr. Spence. "He might be posing for a statue
  • to be called 'Despair!' He reminds me of Macduff. _Macbeth_, Act
  • iv., somewhere near the end. 'What, all my pretty chickens, at one
  • fell swoop?' That's what Shields is saying to himself."
  • "It's all very well to make a joke of it, Spence," said Mr. Shields
  • querulously, "but it is most disturbing. Most."
  • "Exceedingly," agreed Mr. Wain.
  • The bereaved company of masters walked on up the stairs that led to
  • the Great Hall.
  • CHAPTER XI
  • THE CONCLUSION OF THE PICNIC
  • If the form-rooms had been lonely, the Great Hall was doubly, trebly,
  • so. It was a vast room, stretching from side to side of the middle
  • block, and its ceiling soared up into a distant dome. At one end was a
  • dais and an organ, and at intervals down the room stood long tables.
  • The panels were covered with the names of Wrykynians who had won
  • scholarships at Oxford and Cambridge, and of Old Wrykynians who had
  • taken first in Mods or Greats, or achieved any other recognised
  • success, such as a place in the Indian Civil Service list. A silent
  • testimony, these panels, to the work the school had done in the world.
  • Nobody knew exactly how many the Hall could hold, when packed to its
  • fullest capacity. The six hundred odd boys at the school seemed to
  • leave large gaps unfilled.
  • This morning there was a mere handful, and the place looked worse than
  • empty.
  • The Sixth Form were there, and the school prefects. The Great Picnic
  • had not affected their numbers. The Sixth stood by their table in a
  • solid group. The other tables were occupied by ones and twos. A buzz
  • of conversation was going on, which did not cease when the masters
  • filed into the room and took their places. Every one realised by this
  • time that the biggest row in Wrykyn history was well under way; and
  • the thing had to be discussed.
  • In the Masters' library Mr. Wain and Mr. Shields, the spokesmen of the
  • Common Room, were breaking the news to the headmaster.
  • The headmaster was a man who rarely betrayed emotion in his public
  • capacity. He heard Mr. Shields's rambling remarks, punctuated by Mr.
  • Wain's "Exceedinglys," to an end. Then he gathered up his cap and
  • gown.
  • "You say that the whole school is absent?" he remarked quietly.
  • Mr. Shields, in a long-winded flow of words, replied that that was
  • what he did say.
  • "Ah!" said the headmaster.
  • There was a silence.
  • "'M!" said the headmaster.
  • There was another silence.
  • "Ye--e--s!" said the headmaster.
  • He then led the way into the Hall.
  • Conversation ceased abruptly as he entered. The school, like an
  • audience at a theatre when the hero has just appeared on the stage,
  • felt that the serious interest of the drama had begun. There was a
  • dead silence at every table as he strode up the room and on to the
  • dais.
  • There was something Titanic in his calmness. Every eye was on his face
  • as he passed up the Hall, but not a sign of perturbation could the
  • school read. To judge from his expression, he might have been unaware
  • of the emptiness around him.
  • The master who looked after the music of the school, and incidentally
  • accompanied the hymn with which prayers at Wrykyn opened, was waiting,
  • puzzled, at the foot of the dais. It seemed improbable that things
  • would go on as usual, and he did not know whether he was expected to
  • be at the organ, or not. The headmaster's placid face reassured him.
  • He went to his post.
  • The hymn began. It was a long hymn, and one which the school liked for
  • its swing and noise. As a rule, when it was sung, the Hall re-echoed.
  • To-day, the thin sound of the voices had quite an uncanny effect. The
  • organ boomed through the deserted room.
  • The school, or the remnants of it, waited impatiently while the
  • prefect whose turn it was to read stammered nervously through the
  • lesson. They were anxious to get on to what the Head was going to say
  • at the end of prayers. At last it was over. The school waited, all
  • ears.
  • The headmaster bent down from the dais and called to Firby-Smith, who
  • was standing in his place with the Sixth.
  • The Gazeka, blushing warmly, stepped forward.
  • "Bring me a school list, Firby-Smith," said the headmaster.
  • The Gazeka was wearing a pair of very squeaky boots that morning. They
  • sounded deafening as he walked out of the room.
  • The school waited.
  • Presently a distant squeaking was heard, and Firby-Smith returned,
  • bearing a large sheet of paper.
  • The headmaster thanked him, and spread it out on the reading-desk.
  • Then, calmly, as if it were an occurrence of every day, he began to
  • call the roll.
  • "Abney."
  • No answer.
  • "Adams."
  • No answer.
  • "Allenby."
  • "Here, sir," from a table at the end of the room. Allenby was a
  • prefect, in the Science Sixth.
  • The headmaster made a mark against his name with a pencil.
  • "Arkwright."
  • No answer.
  • He began to call the names more rapidly.
  • "Arlington. Arthur. Ashe. Aston."
  • "Here, sir," in a shrill treble from the rider in motorcars.
  • The headmaster made another tick.
  • The list came to an end after what seemed to the school an
  • unconscionable time, and he rolled up the paper again, and stepped to
  • the edge of the dais.
  • "All boys not in the Sixth Form," he said, "will go to their
  • form-rooms and get their books and writing-materials, and return
  • to the Hall."
  • ("Good work," murmured Mr. Seymour to himself. "Looks as if we
  • should get that holiday after all.")
  • "The Sixth Form will go to their form-room as usual. I should like
  • to speak to the masters for a moment."
  • He nodded dismissal to the school.
  • The masters collected on the daïs.
  • "I find that I shall not require your services to-day," said the
  • headmaster. "If you will kindly set the boys in your forms some work
  • that will keep them occupied, I will look after them here. It is a
  • lovely day," he added, with a smile, "and I am sure you will all enjoy
  • yourselves a great deal more in the open air."
  • "That," said Mr. Seymour to Mr. Spence, as they went downstairs, "is
  • what I call a genuine sportsman."
  • "My opinion neatly expressed," said Mr. Spence. "Come on the river. Or
  • shall we put up a net, and have a knock?"
  • "River, I think. Meet you at the boat-house."
  • "All right. Don't be long."
  • "If every day were run on these lines, school-mastering wouldn't be
  • such a bad profession. I wonder if one could persuade one's form to
  • run amuck as a regular thing."
  • "Pity one can't. It seems to me the ideal state of things. Ensures the
  • greatest happiness of the greatest number."
  • "I say! Suppose the school has gone up the river, too, and we meet
  • them! What shall we do?"
  • "Thank them," said Mr. Spence, "most kindly. They've done us well."
  • The school had not gone up the river. They had marched in a solid
  • body, with the school band at their head playing Sousa, in the
  • direction of Worfield, a market town of some importance, distant about
  • five miles. Of what they did and what the natives thought of it all,
  • no very distinct records remain. The thing is a tradition on the
  • countryside now, an event colossal and heroic, to be talked about in
  • the tap-room of the village inn during the long winter evenings. The
  • papers got hold of it, but were curiously misled as to the nature of
  • the demonstration. This was the fault of the reporter on the staff of
  • the _Worfield Intelligencer and Farmers' Guide_, who saw in the
  • thing a legitimate "march-out," and, questioning a straggler as to the
  • reason for the expedition and gathering foggily that the restoration
  • to health of the Eminent Person was at the bottom of it, said so in
  • his paper. And two days later, at about the time when Retribution had
  • got seriously to work, the _Daily Mail_ reprinted the account,
  • with comments and elaborations, and headed it "Loyal Schoolboys." The
  • writer said that great credit was due to the headmaster of Wrykyn for
  • his ingenuity in devising and organising so novel a thanksgiving
  • celebration. And there was the usual conversation between "a
  • rosy-cheeked lad of some sixteen summers" and "our representative,"
  • in which the rosy-cheeked one spoke most kindly of the head-master,
  • who seemed to be a warm personal friend of his.
  • The remarkable thing about the Great Picnic was its orderliness.
  • Considering that five hundred and fifty boys were ranging the country
  • in a compact mass, there was wonderfully little damage done to
  • property. Wyatt's genius did not stop short at organising the march.
  • In addition, he arranged a system of officers which effectually
  • controlled the animal spirits of the rank and file. The prompt and
  • decisive way in which rioters were dealt with during the earlier
  • stages of the business proved a wholesome lesson to others who would
  • have wished to have gone and done likewise. A spirit of martial law
  • reigned over the Great Picnic. And towards the end of the day fatigue
  • kept the rowdy-minded quiet.
  • At Worfield the expedition lunched. It was not a market-day,
  • fortunately, or the confusion in the narrow streets would have been
  • hopeless. On ordinary days Worfield was more or less deserted. It is
  • astonishing that the resources of the little town were equal to
  • satisfying the needs of the picnickers. They descended on the place
  • like an army of locusts.
  • Wyatt, as generalissimo of the expedition, walked into the
  • "Grasshopper and Ant," the leading inn of the town.
  • "Anything I can do for you, sir?" inquired the landlord politely.
  • "Yes, please," said Wyatt, "I want lunch for five hundred and fifty."
  • That was the supreme moment in mine host's life. It was his big
  • subject of conversation ever afterwards. He always told that as his
  • best story, and he always ended with the words, "You could ha' knocked
  • me down with a feather!"
  • The first shock over, the staff of the "Grasshopper and Ant" bustled
  • about. Other inns were called upon for help. Private citizens rallied
  • round with bread, jam, and apples. And the army lunched sumptuously.
  • In the early afternoon they rested, and as evening began to fall, the
  • march home was started.
  • * * * * *
  • At the school, net practice was just coming to an end when, faintly,
  • as the garrison of Lucknow heard the first skirl of the pipes of the
  • relieving force, those on the grounds heard the strains of the school
  • band and a murmur of many voices. Presently the sounds grew more
  • distinct, and up the Wrykyn road came marching the vanguard of the
  • column, singing the school song. They looked weary but cheerful.
  • As the army drew near to the school, it melted away little by little,
  • each house claiming its representatives. At the school gates only a
  • handful were left.
  • Bob Jackson, walking back to Donaldson's, met Wyatt at the gate, and
  • gazed at him, speechless.
  • "Hullo," said Wyatt, "been to the nets? I wonder if there's time for a
  • ginger-beer before the shop shuts."
  • CHAPTER XII
  • MIKE GETS HIS CHANCE
  • The headmaster was quite bland and business-like about it all. There
  • were no impassioned addresses from the dais. He did not tell the
  • school that it ought to be ashamed of itself. Nor did he say that he
  • should never have thought it of them. Prayers on the Saturday morning
  • were marked by no unusual features. There was, indeed, a stir of
  • excitement when he came to the edge of the dais, and cleared his
  • throat as a preliminary to making an announcement. Now for it, thought
  • the school.
  • This was the announcement.
  • "There has been an outbreak of chicken-pox in the town. All streets
  • except the High Street will in consequence be out of bounds till
  • further notice."
  • He then gave the nod of dismissal.
  • The school streamed downstairs, marvelling.
  • The less astute of the picnickers, unmindful of the homely proverb
  • about hallooing before leaving the wood, were openly exulting. It
  • seemed plain to them that the headmaster, baffled by the magnitude of
  • the thing, had resolved to pursue the safe course of ignoring it
  • altogether. To lie low is always a shrewd piece of tactics, and there
  • seemed no reason why the Head should not have decided on it in the
  • present instance.
  • Neville-Smith was among these premature rejoicers.
  • "I say," he chuckled, overtaking Wyatt in the cloisters, "this is all
  • right, isn't it! He's funked it. I thought he would. Finds the job too
  • big to tackle."
  • Wyatt was damping.
  • "My dear chap," he said, "it's not over yet by a long chalk. It hasn't
  • started yet."
  • "What do you mean? Why didn't he say anything about it in Hall, then?"
  • "Why should he? Have you ever had tick at a shop?"
  • "Of course I have. What do you mean? Why?"
  • "Well, they didn't send in the bill right away. But it came all
  • right."
  • "Do you think he's going to do something, then?"
  • "Rather. You wait."
  • Wyatt was right.
  • Between ten and eleven on Wednesdays and Saturdays old Bates, the
  • school sergeant, used to copy out the names of those who were in extra
  • lesson, and post them outside the school shop. The school inspected
  • the list during the quarter to eleven interval.
  • To-day, rushing to the shop for its midday bun, the school was aware
  • of a vast sheet of paper where usually there was but a small one. They
  • surged round it. Buns were forgotten. What was it?
  • Then the meaning of the notice flashed upon them. The headmaster had
  • acted. This bloated document was the extra lesson list, swollen with
  • names as a stream swells with rain. It was a comprehensive document.
  • It left out little.
  • "The following boys will go in to extra lesson this afternoon and next
  • Wednesday," it began. And "the following boys" numbered four hundred.
  • "Bates must have got writer's cramp," said Clowes, as he read the huge
  • scroll.
  • * * * * *
  • Wyatt met Mike after school, as they went back to the house.
  • "Seen the 'extra' list?" he remarked. "None of the kids are in it, I
  • notice. Only the bigger fellows. Rather a good thing. I'm glad you got
  • off."
  • "Thanks," said Mike, who was walking a little stiffly. "I don't know
  • what you call getting off. It seems to me you're the chaps who got
  • off."
  • "How do you mean?"
  • "We got tanned," said Mike ruefully.
  • "What!"
  • "Yes. Everybody below the Upper Fourth."
  • Wyatt roared with laughter.
  • "By Gad," he said, "he is an old sportsman. I never saw such a man. He
  • lowers all records."
  • "Glad you think it funny. You wouldn't have if you'd been me. I was
  • one of the first to get it. He was quite fresh."
  • "Sting?"
  • "Should think it did."
  • "Well, buck up. Don't break down."
  • "I'm not breaking down," said Mike indignantly.
  • "All right, I thought you weren't. Anyhow, you're better off than I
  • am."
  • "An extra's nothing much," said Mike.
  • "It is when it happens to come on the same day as the M.C.C. match."
  • "Oh, by Jove! I forgot. That's next Wednesday, isn't it? You won't be
  • able to play!"
  • "No."
  • "I say, what rot!"
  • "It is, rather. Still, nobody can say I didn't ask for it. If one goes
  • out of one's way to beg and beseech the Old Man to put one in extra,
  • it would be a little rough on him to curse him when he does it."
  • "I should be awfully sick, if it were me."
  • "Well, it isn't you, so you're all right. You'll probably get my place
  • in the team."
  • Mike smiled dutifully at what he supposed to be a humorous sally.
  • "Or, rather, one of the places," continued Wyatt, who seemed to be
  • sufficiently in earnest. "They'll put a bowler in instead of me.
  • Probably Druce. But there'll be several vacancies. Let's see. Me.
  • Adams. Ashe. Any more? No, that's the lot. I should think they'd give
  • you a chance."
  • "You needn't rot," said Mike uncomfortably. He had his day-dreams,
  • like everybody else, and they always took the form of playing for the
  • first eleven (and, incidentally, making a century in record time). To
  • have to listen while the subject was talked about lightly made him hot
  • and prickly all over.
  • "I'm not rotting," said Wyatt seriously, "I'll suggest it to Burgess
  • to-night."
  • "You don't think there's any chance of it, really, do you?" said Mike
  • awkwardly.
  • "I don't see why not? Buck up in the scratch game this afternoon.
  • Fielding especially. Burgess is simply mad on fielding. I don't blame
  • him either, especially as he's a bowler himself. He'd shove a man into
  • the team like a shot, whatever his batting was like, if his fielding
  • was something extra special. So you field like a demon this afternoon,
  • and I'll carry on the good work in the evening."
  • "I say," said Mike, overcome, "it's awfully decent of you, Wyatt."
  • * * * * *
  • Billy Burgess, captain of Wrykyn cricket, was a genial giant, who
  • seldom allowed himself to be ruffled. The present was one of the rare
  • occasions on which he permitted himself that luxury. Wyatt found him
  • in his study, shortly before lock-up, full of strange oaths, like the
  • soldier in Shakespeare.
  • "You rotter! You rotter! You _worm_!" he observed crisply, as
  • Wyatt appeared.
  • "Dear old Billy!" said Wyatt. "Come on, give me a kiss, and let's be
  • friends."
  • "You----!"
  • "William! William!"
  • "If it wasn't illegal, I'd like to tie you and Ashe and that
  • blackguard Adams up in a big sack, and drop you into the river. And
  • I'd jump on the sack first. What do you mean by letting the team down
  • like this? I know you were at the bottom of it all."
  • He struggled into his shirt--he was changing after a bath--and his
  • face popped wrathfully out at the other end.
  • "I'm awfully sorry, Bill," said Wyatt. "The fact is, in the excitement
  • of the moment the M.C.C. match went clean out of my mind."
  • "You haven't got a mind," grumbled Burgess. "You've got a cheap brown
  • paper substitute. That's your trouble."
  • Wyatt turned the conversation tactfully.
  • "How many wickets did you get to-day?" he asked.
  • "Eight. For a hundred and three. I was on the spot. Young Jackson
  • caught a hot one off me at third man. That kid's good."
  • "Why don't you play him against the M.C.C. on Wednesday?" said Wyatt,
  • jumping at his opportunity.
  • "What? Are you sitting on my left shoe?"
  • "No. There it is in the corner."
  • "Right ho!... What were you saying?"
  • "Why not play young Jackson for the first?"
  • "Too small."
  • "Rot. What does size matter? Cricket isn't footer. Besides, he isn't
  • small. He's as tall as I am."
  • "I suppose he is. Dash, I've dropped my stud."
  • Wyatt waited patiently till he had retrieved it. Then he returned to
  • the attack.
  • "He's as good a bat as his brother, and a better field."
  • "Old Bob can't field for toffee. I will say that for him. Dropped a
  • sitter off me to-day. Why the deuce fellows can't hold catches when
  • they drop slowly into their mouths I'm hanged if I can see."
  • "You play him," said Wyatt. "Just give him a trial. That kid's a
  • genius at cricket. He's going to be better than any of his brothers,
  • even Joe. Give him a shot."
  • Burgess hesitated.
  • "You know, it's a bit risky," he said. "With you three lunatics out of
  • the team we can't afford to try many experiments. Better stick to the
  • men at the top of the second."
  • Wyatt got up, and kicked the wall as a vent for his feelings.
  • "You rotter," he said. "Can't you _see_ when you've got a good
  • man? Here's this kid waiting for you ready made with a style like
  • Trumper's, and you rave about top men in the second, chaps who play
  • forward at everything, and pat half-volleys back to the bowler! Do you
  • realise that your only chance of being known to Posterity is as the
  • man who gave M. Jackson his colours at Wrykyn? In a few years he'll be
  • playing for England, and you'll think it a favour if he nods to you in
  • the pav. at Lord's. When you're a white-haired old man you'll go
  • doddering about, gassing to your grandchildren, poor kids, how you
  • 'discovered' M. Jackson. It'll be the only thing they'll respect you
  • for."
  • Wyatt stopped for breath.
  • "All right," said Burgess, "I'll think it over. Frightful gift of the
  • gab you've got, Wyatt."
  • "Good," said Wyatt. "Think it over. And don't forget what I said about
  • the grandchildren. You would like little Wyatt Burgess and the other
  • little Burgesses to respect you in your old age, wouldn't you? Very
  • well, then. So long. The bell went ages ago. I shall be locked out."
  • * * * * *
  • On the Monday morning Mike passed the notice-board just as Burgess
  • turned away from pinning up the list of the team to play the M.C.C. He
  • read it, and his heart missed a beat. For, bottom but one, just above
  • the W. B. Burgess, was a name that leaped from the paper at him. His
  • own name.
  • CHAPTER XIII
  • THE M.C.C. MATCH
  • If the day happens to be fine, there is a curious, dream-like
  • atmosphere about the opening stages of a first eleven match.
  • Everything seems hushed and expectant. The rest of the school have
  • gone in after the interval at eleven o'clock, and you are alone on the
  • grounds with a cricket-bag. The only signs of life are a few
  • pedestrians on the road beyond the railings and one or two blazer and
  • flannel-clad forms in the pavilion. The sense of isolation is trying
  • to the nerves, and a school team usually bats 25 per cent. better
  • after lunch, when the strangeness has worn off.
  • Mike walked across from Wain's, where he had changed, feeling quite
  • hollow. He could almost have cried with pure fright. Bob had shouted
  • after him from a window as he passed Donaldson's, to wait, so that
  • they could walk over together; but conversation was the last thing
  • Mike desired at that moment.
  • He had almost reached the pavilion when one of the M.C.C. team came
  • down the steps, saw him, and stopped dead.
  • "By Jove, Saunders!" cried Mike.
  • "Why, Master Mike!"
  • The professional beamed, and quite suddenly, the lost, hopeless
  • feeling left Mike. He felt as cheerful as if he and Saunders had met
  • in the meadow at home, and were just going to begin a little quiet
  • net-practice.
  • "Why, Master Mike, you don't mean to say you're playing for the school
  • already?"
  • Mike nodded happily.
  • "Isn't it ripping," he said.
  • Saunders slapped his leg in a sort of ecstasy.
  • "Didn't I always say it, sir," he chuckled. "Wasn't I right? I used to
  • say to myself it 'ud be a pretty good school team that 'ud leave you
  • out."
  • "Of course, I'm only playing as a sub., you know. Three chaps are in
  • extra, and I got one of the places."
  • "Well, you'll make a hundred to-day, Master Mike, and then they'll
  • have to put you in."
  • "Wish I could!"
  • "Master Joe's come down with the Club," said Saunders.
  • "Joe! Has he really? How ripping! Hullo, here he is. Hullo, Joe?"
  • The greatest of all the Jacksons was descending the pavilion steps
  • with the gravity befitting an All England batsman. He stopped short,
  • as Saunders had done.
  • "Mike! You aren't playing!"
  • "Yes."
  • "Well, I'm hanged! Young marvel, isn't he, Saunders?"
  • "He is, sir," said Saunders. "Got all the strokes. I always said it,
  • Master Joe. Only wants the strength."
  • Joe took Mike by the shoulder, and walked him off in the direction of
  • a man in a Zingari blazer who was bowling slows to another of the
  • M.C.C. team. Mike recognised him with awe as one of the three best
  • amateur wicket-keepers in the country.
  • "What do you think of this?" said Joe, exhibiting Mike, who grinned
  • bashfully. "Aged ten last birthday, and playing for the school. You
  • are only ten, aren't you, Mike?"
  • "Brother of yours?" asked the wicket-keeper.
  • "Probably too proud to own the relationship, but he is."
  • "Isn't there any end to you Jacksons?" demanded the wicket-keeper in
  • an aggrieved tone. "I never saw such a family."
  • "This is our star. You wait till he gets at us to-day. Saunders is our
  • only bowler, and Mike's been brought up on Saunders. You'd better win
  • the toss if you want a chance of getting a knock and lifting your
  • average out of the minuses."
  • "I _have_ won the toss," said the other with dignity. "Do you
  • think I don't know the elementary duties of a captain?"
  • * * * * *
  • The school went out to field with mixed feelings. The wicket was hard
  • and true, which would have made it pleasant to be going in first. On
  • the other hand, they would feel decidedly better and fitter for
  • centuries after the game had been in progress an hour or so. Burgess
  • was glad as a private individual, sorry as a captain. For himself, the
  • sooner he got hold of the ball and began to bowl the better he liked
  • it. As a captain, he realised that a side with Joe Jackson on it, not
  • to mention the other first-class men, was not a side to which he would
  • have preferred to give away an advantage. Mike was feeling that by no
  • possibility could he hold the simplest catch, and hoping that nothing
  • would come his way. Bob, conscious of being an uncertain field, was
  • feeling just the same.
  • The M.C.C. opened with Joe and a man in an Oxford Authentic cap. The
  • beginning of the game was quiet. Burgess's yorker was nearly too much
  • for the latter in the first over, but he contrived to chop it away,
  • and the pair gradually settled down. At twenty, Joe began to open his
  • shoulders. Twenty became forty with disturbing swiftness, and Burgess
  • tried a change of bowling.
  • It seemed for one instant as if the move had been a success, for Joe,
  • still taking risks, tried to late-cut a rising ball, and snicked
  • it straight into Bob's hands at second slip. It was the easiest
  • of slip-catches, but Bob fumbled it, dropped it, almost held it a
  • second time, and finally let it fall miserably to the ground. It was
  • a moment too painful for words. He rolled the ball back to the bowler
  • in silence.
  • One of those weary periods followed when the batsman's defence seems
  • to the fieldsmen absolutely impregnable. There was a sickening
  • inevitableness in the way in which every ball was played with the very
  • centre of the bat. And, as usual, just when things seemed most
  • hopeless, relief came. The Authentic, getting in front of his wicket,
  • to pull one of the simplest long-hops ever seen on a cricket field,
  • missed it, and was l.b.w. And the next ball upset the newcomer's leg
  • stump.
  • The school revived. Bowlers and field were infused with a new life.
  • Another wicket--two stumps knocked out of the ground by Burgess--helped
  • the thing on. When the bell rang for the end of morning school, five
  • wickets were down for a hundred and thirteen.
  • But from the end of school till lunch things went very wrong indeed.
  • Joe was still in at one end, invincible; and at the other was the
  • great wicket-keeper. And the pair of them suddenly began to force the
  • pace till the bowling was in a tangled knot. Four after four, all
  • round the wicket, with never a chance or a mishit to vary the
  • monotony. Two hundred went up, and two hundred and fifty. Then Joe
  • reached his century, and was stumped next ball. Then came lunch.
  • The rest of the innings was like the gentle rain after the
  • thunderstorm. Runs came with fair regularity, but wickets fell at
  • intervals, and when the wicket-keeper was run out at length for a
  • lively sixty-three, the end was very near. Saunders, coming in last,
  • hit two boundaries, and was then caught by Mike. His second hit had
  • just lifted the M.C.C. total over the three hundred.
  • * * * * *
  • Three hundred is a score that takes some making on any ground, but on
  • a fine day it was not an unusual total for the Wrykyn eleven. Some
  • years before, against Ripton, they had run up four hundred and
  • sixteen; and only last season had massacred a very weak team of Old
  • Wrykynians with a score that only just missed the fourth hundred.
  • Unfortunately, on the present occasion, there was scarcely time,
  • unless the bowling happened to get completely collared, to make the
  • runs. It was a quarter to four when the innings began, and stumps were
  • to be drawn at a quarter to seven. A hundred an hour is quick work.
  • Burgess, however, was optimistic, as usual. "Better have a go for
  • them," he said to Berridge and Marsh, the school first pair.
  • Following out this courageous advice, Berridge, after hitting three
  • boundaries in his first two overs, was stumped half-way through the
  • third.
  • After this, things settled down. Morris, the first-wicket man, was a
  • thoroughly sound bat, a little on the slow side, but exceedingly hard
  • to shift. He and Marsh proceeded to play themselves in, until it
  • looked as if they were likely to stay till the drawing of stumps.
  • A comfortable, rather somnolent feeling settled upon the school. A
  • long stand at cricket is a soothing sight to watch. There was an
  • absence of hurry about the batsmen which harmonised well with the
  • drowsy summer afternoon. And yet runs were coming at a fair pace. The
  • hundred went up at five o'clock, the hundred and fifty at half-past.
  • Both batsmen were completely at home, and the M.C.C. third-change
  • bowlers had been put on.
  • Then the great wicket-keeper took off the pads and gloves, and the
  • fieldsmen retired to posts at the extreme edge of the ground.
  • "Lobs," said Burgess. "By Jove, I wish I was in."
  • It seemed to be the general opinion among the members of the Wrykyn
  • eleven on the pavilion balcony that Morris and Marsh were in luck. The
  • team did not grudge them their good fortune, because they had earned
  • it; but they were distinctly envious.
  • Lobs are the most dangerous, insinuating things in the world.
  • Everybody knows in theory the right way to treat them. Everybody knows
  • that the man who is content not to try to score more than a single
  • cannot get out to them. Yet nearly everybody does get out to them.
  • It was the same story to-day. The first over yielded six runs, all
  • through gentle taps along the ground. In the second, Marsh hit an
  • over-pitched one along the ground to the terrace bank. The next ball
  • he swept round to the leg boundary. And that was the end of Marsh. He
  • saw himself scoring at the rate of twenty-four an over. Off the last
  • ball he was stumped by several feet, having done himself credit by
  • scoring seventy.
  • The long stand was followed, as usual, by a series of disasters.
  • Marsh's wicket had fallen at a hundred and eighty. Ellerby left at a
  • hundred and eighty-six. By the time the scoring-board registered two
  • hundred, five wickets were down, three of them victims to the lobs.
  • Morris was still in at one end. He had refused to be tempted. He was
  • jogging on steadily to his century.
  • Bob Jackson went in next, with instructions to keep his eye on the
  • lob-man.
  • For a time things went well. Saunders, who had gone on to bowl again
  • after a rest, seemed to give Morris no trouble, and Bob put him
  • through the slips with apparent ease. Twenty runs were added, when the
  • lob-bowler once more got in his deadly work. Bob, letting alone a ball
  • wide of the off-stump under the impression that it was going to break
  • away, was disagreeably surprised to find it break in instead, and hit
  • the wicket. The bowler smiled sadly, as if he hated to have to do
  • these things.
  • Mike's heart jumped as he saw the bails go. It was his turn next.
  • "Two hundred and twenty-nine," said Burgess, "and it's ten past six.
  • No good trying for the runs now. Stick in," he added to Mike. "That's
  • all you've got to do."
  • All!... Mike felt as if he was being strangled. His heart was racing
  • like the engines of a motor. He knew his teeth were chattering. He
  • wished he could stop them. What a time Bob was taking to get back to
  • the pavilion! He wanted to rush out, and get the thing over.
  • At last he arrived, and Mike, fumbling at a glove, tottered out into
  • the sunshine. He heard miles and miles away a sound of clapping, and a
  • thin, shrill noise as if somebody were screaming in the distance. As a
  • matter of fact, several members of his form and of the junior day-room
  • at Wain's nearly burst themselves at that moment.
  • At the wickets, he felt better. Bob had fallen to the last ball of the
  • over, and Morris, standing ready for Saunders's delivery, looked so
  • calm and certain of himself that it was impossible to feel entirely
  • without hope and self-confidence. Mike knew that Morris had made
  • ninety-eight, and he supposed that Morris knew that he was very near
  • his century; yet he seemed to be absolutely undisturbed. Mike drew
  • courage from his attitude.
  • Morris pushed the first ball away to leg. Mike would have liked to
  • have run two, but short leg had retrieved the ball as he reached the
  • crease.
  • The moment had come, the moment which he had experienced only in
  • dreams. And in the dreams he was always full of confidence, and
  • invariably hit a boundary. Sometimes a drive, sometimes a cut, but
  • always a boundary.
  • "To leg, sir," said the umpire.
  • "Don't be in a funk," said a voice. "Play straight, and you can't get
  • out."
  • It was Joe, who had taken the gloves when the wicket-keeper went on to
  • bowl.
  • Mike grinned, wryly but gratefully.
  • Saunders was beginning his run. It was all so home-like that for a
  • moment Mike felt himself again. How often he had seen those two little
  • skips and the jump. It was like being in the paddock again, with
  • Marjory and the dogs waiting by the railings to fetch the ball if he
  • made a drive.
  • Saunders ran to the crease, and bowled.
  • Now, Saunders was a conscientious man, and, doubtless, bowled the very
  • best ball that he possibly could. On the other hand, it was Mike's
  • first appearance for the school, and Saunders, besides being
  • conscientious, was undoubtedly kind-hearted. It is useless to
  • speculate as to whether he was trying to bowl his best that ball. If
  • so, he failed signally. It was a half-volley, just the right distance
  • away from the off-stump; the sort of ball Mike was wont to send nearly
  • through the net at home....
  • The next moment the dreams had come true. The umpire was signalling to
  • the scoring-box, the school was shouting, extra-cover was trotting to
  • the boundary to fetch the ball, and Mike was blushing and wondering
  • whether it was bad form to grin.
  • From that ball onwards all was for the best in this best of all
  • possible worlds. Saunders bowled no more half-volleys; but Mike
  • played everything that he did bowl. He met the lobs with a bat like
  • a barn-door. Even the departure of Morris, caught in the slips off
  • Saunders's next over for a chanceless hundred and five, did not disturb
  • him. All nervousness had left him. He felt equal to the situation.
  • Burgess came in, and began to hit out as if he meant to knock off the
  • runs. The bowling became a shade loose. Twice he was given full tosses
  • to leg, which he hit to the terrace bank. Half-past six chimed, and two
  • hundred and fifty went up on the telegraph board. Burgess continued to
  • hit. Mike's whole soul was concentrated on keeping up his wicket.
  • There was only Reeves to follow him, and Reeves was a victim to the
  • first straight ball. Burgess had to hit because it was the only game
  • he knew; but he himself must simply stay in.
  • The hands of the clock seemed to have stopped. Then suddenly he heard
  • the umpire say "Last over," and he settled down to keep those six
  • balls out of his wicket.
  • The lob bowler had taken himself off, and the Oxford Authentic had
  • gone on, fast left-hand.
  • The first ball was short and wide of the off-stump. Mike let it alone.
  • Number two: yorker. Got him! Three: straight half-volley. Mike played
  • it back to the bowler. Four: beat him, and missed the wicket by an
  • inch. Five: another yorker. Down on it again in the old familiar way.
  • All was well. The match was a draw now whatever happened to him. He
  • hit out, almost at a venture, at the last ball, and mid-off, jumping,
  • just failed to reach it. It hummed over his head, and ran like a
  • streak along the turf and up the bank, and a great howl of delight
  • went up from the school as the umpire took off the bails.
  • Mike walked away from the wickets with Joe and the wicket-keeper.
  • "I'm sorry about your nose, Joe," said the wicket-keeper in tones of
  • grave solicitude.
  • "What's wrong with it?"
  • "At present," said the wicket-keeper, "nothing. But in a few years I'm
  • afraid it's going to be put badly out of joint."
  • CHAPTER XIV
  • A SLIGHT IMBROGLIO
  • Mike got his third eleven colours after the M.C.C. match. As he had
  • made twenty-three not out in a crisis in a first eleven match, this
  • may not seem an excessive reward. But it was all that he expected. One
  • had to take the rungs of the ladder singly at Wrykyn. First one was
  • given one's third eleven cap. That meant, "You are a promising man,
  • and we have our eye on you." Then came the second colours. They might
  • mean anything from "Well, here you are. You won't get any higher, so
  • you may as well have the thing now," to "This is just to show that we
  • still have our eye on you."
  • Mike was a certainty now for the second. But it needed more than one
  • performance to secure the first cap.
  • "I told you so," said Wyatt, naturally, to Burgess after the match.
  • "He's not bad," said Burgess. "I'll give him another shot."
  • But Burgess, as has been pointed out, was not a person who ever became
  • gushing with enthusiasm.
  • * * * * *
  • So Wilkins, of the School House, who had played twice for the first
  • eleven, dropped down into the second, as many a good man had done
  • before him, and Mike got his place in the next match, against the
  • Gentlemen of the County. Unfortunately for him, the visiting team,
  • however gentlemanly, were not brilliant cricketers, at any rate as far
  • as bowling was concerned. The school won the toss, went in first, and
  • made three hundred and sixteen for five wickets, Morris making another
  • placid century. The innings was declared closed before Mike had a
  • chance of distinguishing himself. In an innings which lasted for
  • one over he made two runs, not out; and had to console himself for
  • the cutting short of his performance by the fact that his average
  • for the school was still infinity. Bob, who was one of those lucky
  • enough to have an unabridged innings, did better in this match, making
  • twenty-five. But with Morris making a hundred and seventeen, and
  • Berridge, Ellerby, and Marsh all passing the half-century, this score
  • did not show up excessively.
  • We now come to what was practically a turning-point in Mike's career
  • at Wrykyn. There is no doubt that his meteor-like flights at cricket
  • had an unsettling effect on him. He was enjoying life amazingly, and,
  • as is not uncommon with the prosperous, he waxed fat and kicked.
  • Fortunately for him--though he did not look upon it in that light at
  • the time--he kicked the one person it was most imprudent to kick. The
  • person he selected was Firby-Smith. With anybody else the thing might
  • have blown over, to the detriment of Mike's character; but Firby-Smith,
  • having the most tender affection for his dignity, made a fuss.
  • It happened in this way. The immediate cause of the disturbance was a
  • remark of Mike's, but the indirect cause was the unbearably
  • patronising manner which the head of Wain's chose to adopt towards
  • him. The fact that he was playing for the school seemed to make no
  • difference at all. Firby-Smith continued to address Mike merely as the
  • small boy.
  • The following, _verbatim_, was the tactful speech which he
  • addressed to him on the evening of the M.C.C. match, having summoned
  • him to his study for the purpose.
  • "Well," he said, "you played a very decent innings this afternoon, and
  • I suppose you're frightfully pleased with yourself, eh? Well, mind you
  • don't go getting swelled head. See? That's all. Run along."
  • Mike departed, bursting with fury.
  • The next link in the chain was forged a week after the Gentlemen of
  • the County match. House matches had begun, and Wain's were playing
  • Appleby's. Appleby's made a hundred and fifty odd, shaping badly for
  • the most part against Wyatt's slows. Then Wain's opened their innings.
  • The Gazeka, as head of the house, was captain of the side, and he and
  • Wyatt went in first. Wyatt made a few mighty hits, and was then caught
  • at cover. Mike went in first wicket.
  • For some ten minutes all was peace. Firby-Smith scratched away at his
  • end, getting here and there a single and now and then a two, and Mike
  • settled down at once to play what he felt was going to be the innings
  • of a lifetime. Appleby's bowling was on the feeble side, with Raikes,
  • of the third eleven, as the star, supported by some small change. Mike
  • pounded it vigorously. To one who had been brought up on Saunders,
  • Raikes possessed few subtleties. He had made seventeen, and was
  • thoroughly set, when the Gazeka, who had the bowling, hit one in the
  • direction of cover-point. With a certain type of batsman a single is a
  • thing to take big risks for. And the Gazeka badly wanted that single.
  • "Come on," he shouted, prancing down the pitch.
  • Mike, who had remained in his crease with the idea that nobody even
  • moderately sane would attempt a run for a hit like that, moved forward
  • in a startled and irresolute manner. Firby-Smith arrived, shouting
  • "Run!" and, cover having thrown the ball in, the wicket-keeper removed
  • the bails.
  • These are solemn moments.
  • The only possible way of smoothing over an episode of this kind is for
  • the guilty man to grovel.
  • Firby-Smith did not grovel.
  • "Easy run there, you know," he said reprovingly.
  • The world swam before Mike's eyes. Through the red mist he could see
  • Firby-Smith's face. The sun glinted on his rather prominent teeth. To
  • Mike's distorted vision it seemed that the criminal was amused.
  • "Don't _laugh_, you grinning ape!" he cried. "It isn't funny."
  • [Illustration: "DON'T _LAUGH_, YOU GRINNING APE"]
  • He then made for the trees where the rest of the team were sitting.
  • Now Firby-Smith not only possessed rather prominent teeth; he was also
  • sensitive on the subject. Mike's shaft sank in deeply. The fact that
  • emotion caused him to swipe at a straight half-volley, miss it, and be
  • bowled next ball made the wound rankle.
  • He avoided Mike on his return to the trees. And Mike, feeling now a
  • little apprehensive, avoided him.
  • The Gazeka brooded apart for the rest of the afternoon, chewing the
  • insult. At close of play he sought Burgess.
  • Burgess, besides being captain of the eleven, was also head of the
  • school. He was the man who arranged prefects' meetings. And only a
  • prefects' meeting, thought Firby-Smith, could adequately avenge his
  • lacerated dignity.
  • "I want to speak to you, Burgess," he said.
  • "What's up?" said Burgess.
  • "You know young Jackson in our house."
  • "What about him?"
  • "He's been frightfully insolent."
  • "Cheeked you?" said Burgess, a man of simple speech.
  • "I want you to call a prefects' meeting, and lick him."
  • Burgess looked incredulous.
  • "Rather a large order, a prefects' meeting," he said. "It has to be a
  • pretty serious sort of thing for that."
  • "Frightful cheek to a school prefect is a serious thing," said
  • Firby-Smith, with the air of one uttering an epigram.
  • "Well, I suppose--What did he say to you?"
  • Firby-Smith related the painful details.
  • Burgess started to laugh, but turned the laugh into a cough.
  • "Yes," he said meditatively. "Rather thick. Still, I mean--A prefects'
  • meeting. Rather like crushing a thingummy with a what-d'you-call-it.
  • Besides, he's a decent kid."
  • "He's frightfully conceited."
  • "Oh, well--Well, anyhow, look here, I'll think it over, and let you
  • know to-morrow. It's not the sort of thing to rush through without
  • thinking about it."
  • And the matter was left temporarily at that.
  • CHAPTER XV
  • MIKE CREATES A VACANCY
  • Burgess walked off the ground feeling that fate was not using him
  • well.
  • Here was he, a well-meaning youth who wanted to be on good terms with
  • all the world, being jockeyed into slaughtering a kid whose batting he
  • admired and whom personally he liked. And the worst of it was that he
  • sympathised with Mike. He knew what it felt like to be run out just
  • when one had got set, and he knew exactly how maddening the Gazeka's
  • manner would be on such an occasion. On the other hand, officially he
  • was bound to support the head of Wain's. Prefects must stand together
  • or chaos will come.
  • He thought he would talk it over with somebody. Bob occurred to him.
  • It was only fair that Bob should be told, as the nearest of kin.
  • And here was another grievance against fate. Bob was a person he did
  • not particularly wish to see just then. For that morning he had posted
  • up the list of the team to play for the school against Geddington, one
  • of the four schools which Wrykyn met at cricket; and Bob's name did
  • not appear on that list. Several things had contributed to that
  • melancholy omission. In the first place, Geddington, to judge from the
  • weekly reports in the _Sportsman_ and _Field_, were strong this
  • year at batting. In the second place, the results of the last few
  • matches, and particularly the M.C.C. match, had given Burgess the
  • idea that Wrykyn was weak at bowling. It became necessary, therefore,
  • to drop a batsman out of the team in favour of a bowler. And either
  • Mike or Bob must be the man.
  • Burgess was as rigidly conscientious as the captain of a school eleven
  • should be. Bob was one of his best friends, and he would have given
  • much to be able to put him in the team; but he thought the thing over,
  • and put the temptation sturdily behind him. At batting there was not
  • much to choose between the two, but in fielding there was a great deal.
  • Mike was good. Bob was bad. So out Bob had gone, and Neville-Smith, a
  • fair fast bowler at all times and on his day dangerous, took his place.
  • These clashings of public duty with private inclination are the
  • drawbacks to the despotic position of captain of cricket at a public
  • school. It is awkward having to meet your best friend after you have
  • dropped him from the team, and it is difficult to talk to him as if
  • nothing had happened.
  • Burgess felt very self-conscious as he entered Bob's study, and was
  • rather glad that he had a topic of conversation ready to hand.
  • "Busy, Bob?" he asked.
  • "Hullo," said Bob, with a cheerfulness rather over-done in his anxiety
  • to show Burgess, the man, that he did not hold him responsible in
  • any way for the distressing acts of Burgess, the captain. "Take a
  • pew. Don't these studies get beastly hot this weather. There's some
  • ginger-beer in the cupboard. Have some?"
  • "No, thanks. I say, Bob, look here, I want to see you."
  • "Well, you can, can't you? This is me, sitting over here. The tall,
  • dark, handsome chap."
  • "It's awfully awkward, you know," continued Burgess gloomily; "that
  • ass of a young brother of yours--Sorry, but he _is_ an ass,
  • though he's your brother----"
  • "Thanks for the 'though,' Billy. You know how to put a thing nicely.
  • What's Mike been up to?"
  • "It's that old fool the Gazeka. He came to me frothing with rage, and
  • wanted me to call a prefects' meeting and touch young Mike up."
  • Bob displayed interest and excitement for the first time.
  • "Prefects' meeting! What the dickens is up? What's he been doing?
  • Smith must be drunk. What's all the row about?"
  • Burgess repeated the main facts of the case as he had them from
  • Firby-Smith.
  • "Personally, I sympathise with the kid," he added, "Still, the Gazeka
  • _is_ a prefect----"
  • Bob gnawed a pen-holder morosely.
  • "Silly young idiot," he said.
  • "Sickening thing being run out," suggested Burgess.
  • "Still----"
  • "I know. It's rather hard to see what to do. I suppose if the Gazeka
  • insists, one's bound to support him."
  • "I suppose so."
  • "Awful rot. Prefects' lickings aren't meant for that sort of thing.
  • They're supposed to be for kids who steal buns at the shop or muck
  • about generally. Not for a chap who curses a fellow who runs him out.
  • I tell you what, there's just a chance Firby-Smith won't press the
  • thing. He hadn't had time to get over it when he saw me. By now he'll
  • have simmered down a bit. Look here, you're a pal of his, aren't you?
  • Well, go and ask him to drop the business. Say you'll curse your
  • brother and make him apologise, and that I'll kick him out of the team
  • for the Geddington match."
  • It was a difficult moment for Bob. One cannot help one's thoughts, and
  • for an instant the idea of going to Geddington with the team, as he
  • would certainly do if Mike did not play, made him waver. But he
  • recovered himself.
  • "Don't do that," he said. "I don't see there's a need for anything of
  • that sort. You must play the best side you've got. I can easily talk
  • the old Gazeka over. He gets all right in a second if he's treated the
  • right way. I'll go and do it now."
  • Burgess looked miserable.
  • "I say, Bob," he said.
  • "Yes?"
  • "Oh, nothing--I mean, you're not a bad sort." With which glowing
  • eulogy he dashed out of the room, thanking his stars that he had won
  • through a confoundedly awkward business.
  • Bob went across to Wain's to interview and soothe Firby-Smith.
  • He found that outraged hero sitting moodily in his study like Achilles
  • in his tent.
  • Seeing Bob, he became all animation.
  • "Look here," he said, "I wanted to see you. You know, that frightful
  • young brother of yours----"
  • "I know, I know," said Bob. "Burgess was telling me. He wants
  • kicking."
  • "He wants a frightful licking from the prefects," emended the
  • aggrieved party.
  • "Well, I don't know, you know. Not much good lugging the prefects into
  • it, is there? I mean, apart from everything else, not much of a catch
  • for me, would it be, having to sit there and look on. I'm a prefect,
  • too, you know."
  • Firby-Smith looked a little blank at this. He had a great admiration
  • for Bob.
  • "I didn't think of you," he said.
  • "I thought you hadn't," said Bob. "You see it now, though, don't you?"
  • Firby-Smith returned to the original grievance.
  • "Well, you know, it was frightful cheek."
  • "Of course it was. Still, I think if I saw him and cursed him, and
  • sent him up to you to apologise--How would that do?"
  • "All right. After all, I did run him out."
  • "Yes, there's that, of course. Mike's all right, really. It isn't as
  • if he did that sort of thing as a habit."
  • "No. All right then."
  • "Thanks," said Bob, and went to find Mike.
  • * * * * *
  • The lecture on deportment which he read that future All-England
  • batsman in a secluded passage near the junior day-room left the latter
  • rather limp and exceedingly meek. For the moment all the jauntiness
  • and exuberance had been drained out of him. He was a punctured
  • balloon. Reflection, and the distinctly discouraging replies of those
  • experts in school law to whom he had put the question, "What d'you
  • think he'll do?" had induced a very chastened frame of mind.
  • He perceived that he had walked very nearly into a hornets' nest, and
  • the realisation of his escape made him agree readily to all the
  • conditions imposed. The apology to the Gazeka was made without
  • reserve, and the offensively forgiving, say-no-more-about-it-but-take
  • care-in-future air of the head of the house roused no spark of
  • resentment in him, so subdued was his fighting spirit. All he wanted
  • was to get the thing done with. He was not inclined to be critical.
  • And, most of all, he felt grateful to Bob. Firby-Smith, in the course
  • of his address, had not omitted to lay stress on the importance of
  • Bob's intervention. But for Bob, he gave him to understand, he, Mike,
  • would have been prosecuted with the utmost rigour of the law. Mike
  • came away with a confused picture in his mind of a horde of furious
  • prefects bent on his slaughter, after the manner of a stage "excited
  • crowd," and Bob waving them back. He realised that Bob had done him a
  • good turn. He wished he could find some way of repaying him.
  • Curiously enough, it was an enemy of Bob's who suggested the
  • way--Burton, of Donaldson's. Burton was a slippery young gentleman,
  • fourteen years of age, who had frequently come into contact with
  • Bob in the house, and owed him many grudges. With Mike he had always
  • tried to form an alliance, though without success.
  • He happened to meet Mike going to school next morning, and unburdened
  • his soul to him. It chanced that Bob and he had had another small
  • encounter immediately after breakfast, and Burton felt revengeful.
  • "I say," said Burton, "I'm jolly glad you're playing for the first
  • against Geddington."
  • "Thanks," said Mike.
  • "I'm specially glad for one reason."
  • "What's that?" inquired Mike, without interest.
  • "Because your beast of a brother has been chucked out. He'd have been
  • playing but for you."
  • At any other time Mike would have heard Bob called a beast without
  • active protest. He would have felt that it was no business of his to
  • fight his brother's battles for him. But on this occasion he deviated
  • from his rule.
  • He kicked Burton. Not once or twice, but several times, so that
  • Burton, retiring hurriedly, came to the conclusion that it must be
  • something in the Jackson blood, some taint, as it were. They were
  • _all_ beasts.
  • * * * * *
  • Mike walked on, weighing this remark, and gradually made up his mind.
  • It must be remembered that he was in a confused mental condition, and
  • that the only thing he realised clearly was that Bob had pulled him
  • out of an uncommonly nasty hole. It seemed to him that it was
  • necessary to repay Bob. He thought the thing over more fully during
  • school, and his decision remained unaltered.
  • On the evening before the Geddington match, just before lock-up, Mike
  • tapped at Burgess's study door. He tapped with his right hand, for his
  • left was in a sling.
  • "Come in!" yelled the captain. "Hullo!"
  • "I'm awfully sorry, Burgess," said Mike. "I've crocked my wrist a
  • bit."
  • "How did you do that? You were all right at the nets?"
  • "Slipped as I was changing," said Mike stolidly.
  • "Is it bad?"
  • "Nothing much. I'm afraid I shan't be able to play to-morrow."
  • "I say, that's bad luck. Beastly bad luck. We wanted your batting,
  • too. Be all right, though, in a day or two, I suppose?"
  • "Oh, yes, rather."
  • "Hope so, anyway."
  • "Thanks. Good-night."
  • "Good-night."
  • And Burgess, with the comfortable feeling that he had managed to
  • combine duty and pleasure after all, wrote a note to Bob at
  • Donaldson's, telling him to be ready to start with the team for
  • Geddington by the 8.54 next morning.
  • CHAPTER XVI
  • AN EXPERT EXAMINATION
  • Mike's Uncle John was a wanderer on the face of the earth. He had been
  • an army surgeon in the days of his youth, and, after an adventurous
  • career, mainly in Afghanistan, had inherited enough money to keep him
  • in comfort for the rest of his life. He had thereupon left the
  • service, and now spent most of his time flitting from one spot of
  • Europe to another. He had been dashing up to Scotland on the day when
  • Mike first became a Wrykynian, but a few weeks in an uncomfortable
  • hotel in Skye and a few days in a comfortable one in Edinburgh had
  • left him with the impression that he had now seen all that there was
  • to be seen in North Britain and might reasonably shift his camp again.
  • Coming south, he had looked in on Mike's people for a brief space,
  • and, at the request of Mike's mother, took the early express to Wrykyn
  • in order to pay a visit of inspection.
  • His telegram arrived during morning school. Mike went down to the
  • station to meet him after lunch.
  • Uncle John took command of the situation at once.
  • "School playing anybody to-day, Mike? I want to see a match."
  • "They're playing Geddington. Only it's away. There's a second match
  • on."
  • "Why aren't you--Hullo, I didn't see. What have you been doing to
  • yourself?"
  • "Crocked my wrist a bit. It's nothing much."
  • "How did you do that?"
  • "Slipped while I was changing after cricket."
  • "Hurt?"
  • "Not much, thanks."
  • "Doctor seen it?"
  • "No. But it's really nothing. Be all right by Monday."
  • "H'm. Somebody ought to look at it. I'll have a look later on."
  • Mike did not appear to relish this prospect.
  • "It isn't anything, Uncle John, really. It doesn't matter a bit."
  • "Never mind. It won't do any harm having somebody examine it who knows
  • a bit about these things. Now, what shall we do. Go on the river?"
  • "I shouldn't be able to steer."
  • "I could manage about that. Still, I think I should like to see the
  • place first. Your mother's sure to ask me if you showed me round. It's
  • like going over the stables when you're stopping at a country-house.
  • Got to be done, and better do it as soon as possible."
  • It is never very interesting playing the part of showman at school.
  • Both Mike and his uncle were inclined to scamp the business. Mike
  • pointed out the various landmarks without much enthusiasm--it is only
  • after one has left a few years that the school buildings take to
  • themselves romance--and Uncle John said, "Ah yes, I see. Very nice,"
  • two or three times in an absent voice; and they passed on to the
  • cricket field, where the second eleven were playing a neighbouring
  • engineering school. It was a glorious day. The sun had never seemed to
  • Mike so bright or the grass so green. It was one of those days when
  • the ball looks like a large vermilion-coloured football as it leaves
  • the bowler's hand. If ever there was a day when it seemed to Mike that
  • a century would have been a certainty, it was this Saturday. A sudden,
  • bitter realisation of all he had given up swept over him, but he
  • choked the feeling down. The thing was done, and it was no good
  • brooding over the might-have-beens now. Still--And the Geddington
  • ground was supposed to be one of the easiest scoring grounds of all
  • the public schools!
  • "Well hit, by George!" remarked Uncle John, as Trevor, who had gone in
  • first wicket for the second eleven, swept a half-volley to leg round
  • to the bank where they were sitting.
  • "That's Trevor," said Mike. "Chap in Donaldson's. The fellow at the
  • other end is Wilkins. He's in the School House. They look as if they
  • were getting set. By Jove," he said enviously, "pretty good fun
  • batting on a day like this."
  • Uncle John detected the envious note.
  • "I suppose you would have been playing here but for your wrist?"
  • "No, I was playing for the first."
  • "For the first? For the school! My word, Mike, I didn't know that. No
  • wonder you're feeling badly treated. Of course, I remember your father
  • saying you had played once for the school, and done well; but I
  • thought that was only as a substitute. I didn't know you were a
  • regular member of the team. What bad luck. Will you get another
  • chance?"
  • "Depends on Bob."
  • "Has Bob got your place?"
  • Mike nodded.
  • "If he does well to-day, they'll probably keep him in."
  • "Isn't there room for both of you?"
  • "Such a lot of old colours. There are only three vacancies, and
  • Henfrey got one of those a week ago. I expect they'll give one of the
  • other two to a bowler, Neville-Smith, I should think, if he does well
  • against Geddington. Then there'll be only the last place left."
  • "Rather awkward, that."
  • "Still, it's Bob's last year. I've got plenty of time. But I wish I
  • could get in this year."
  • After they had watched the match for an hour, Uncle John's restless
  • nature asserted itself.
  • "Suppose we go for a pull on the river now?" he suggested.
  • They got up.
  • "Let's just call at the shop," said Mike. "There ought to be a
  • telegram from Geddington by this time. I wonder how Bob's got on."
  • Apparently Bob had not had a chance yet of distinguishing himself. The
  • telegram read, "Geddington 151 for four. Lunch."
  • "Not bad that," said Mike. "But I believe they're weak in bowling."
  • They walked down the road towards the school landing-stage.
  • "The worst of a school," said Uncle John, as he pulled up-stream with
  • strong, unskilful stroke, "is that one isn't allowed to smoke on the
  • grounds. I badly want a pipe. The next piece of shade that you see,
  • sing out, and we'll put in there."
  • "Pull your left," said Mike. "That willow's what you want."
  • Uncle John looked over his shoulder, caught a crab, recovered himself,
  • and steered the boat in under the shade of the branches.
  • "Put the rope over that stump. Can you manage with one hand? Here, let
  • me--Done it? Good. A-ah!"
  • He blew a great cloud of smoke into the air, and sighed contentedly.
  • "I hope you don't smoke, Mike?"
  • "No."
  • "Rotten trick for a boy. When you get to my age you need it. Boys
  • ought to be thinking about keeping themselves fit and being good at
  • games. Which reminds me. Let's have a look at the wrist."
  • A hunted expression came into Mike's eyes.
  • "It's really nothing," he began, but his uncle had already removed the
  • sling, and was examining the arm with the neat rapidity of one who has
  • been brought up to such things.
  • To Mike it seemed as if everything in the world was standing still and
  • waiting. He could hear nothing but his own breathing.
  • His uncle pressed the wrist gingerly once or twice, then gave it a
  • little twist.
  • "That hurt?" he asked.
  • "Ye--no," stammered Mike.
  • Uncle John looked up sharply. Mike was crimson.
  • "What's the game?" inquired Uncle John.
  • Mike said nothing.
  • There was a twinkle in his uncle's eyes.
  • "May as well tell me. I won't give you away. Why this wounded warrior
  • business when you've no more the matter with you than I have?"
  • Mike hesitated.
  • "I only wanted to get out of having to write this morning. There was
  • an exam, on."
  • The idea had occurred to him just before he spoke. It had struck him
  • as neat and plausible.
  • To Uncle John it did not appear in the same light.
  • "Do you always write with your left hand? And if you had gone with the
  • first eleven to Geddington, wouldn't that have got you out of your
  • exam? Try again."
  • When in doubt, one may as well tell the truth. Mike told it.
  • "I know. It wasn't that, really. Only----"
  • "Well?"
  • "Oh, well, dash it all then. Old Bob got me out of an awful row the
  • day before yesterday, and he seemed a bit sick at not playing for the
  • first, so I thought I might as well let him. That's how it was. Look
  • here, swear you won't tell him."
  • Uncle John was silent. Inwardly he was deciding that the five
  • shillings which he had intended to bestow on Mike on his departure
  • should become a sovereign. (This, it may be mentioned as an
  • interesting biographical fact, was the only occasion in his life
  • on which Mike earned money at the rate of fifteen shillings a
  • half-minute.)
  • "Swear you won't tell him. He'd be most frightfully sick if he knew."
  • "I won't tell him."
  • Conversation dwindled to vanishing-point. Uncle John smoked on in
  • weighty silence, while Mike, staring up at the blue sky through the
  • branches of the willow, let his mind wander to Geddington, where his
  • fate was even now being sealed. How had the school got on? What had
  • Bob done? If he made about twenty, would they give him his cap?
  • Supposing....
  • A faint snore from Uncle John broke in on his meditations. Then there
  • was a clatter as a briar pipe dropped on to the floor of the boat, and
  • his uncle sat up, gaping.
  • "Jove, I was nearly asleep. What's the time? Just on six? Didn't know
  • it was so late."
  • "I ought to be getting back soon, I think. Lock-up's at half-past."
  • "Up with the anchor, then. You can tackle that rope with two hands
  • now, eh? We are not observed. Don't fall overboard. I'm going to shove
  • her off."
  • "There'll be another telegram, I should think," said Mike, as they
  • reached the school gates.
  • "Shall we go and look?"
  • They walked to the shop.
  • A second piece of grey paper had been pinned up under the first. Mike
  • pushed his way through the crowd. It was a longer message this time.
  • It ran as follows:
  • "Geddington 247 (Burgess six wickets, Neville-Smith four).
  • Wrykyn 270 for nine (Berridge 86, Marsh 58, Jackson 48)."
  • Mike worked his way back through the throng, and rejoined his uncle.
  • "Well?" said Uncle John.
  • "We won."
  • He paused for a moment.
  • "Bob made forty-eight," he added carelessly.
  • Uncle John felt in his pocket, and silently slid a sovereign into
  • Mike's hand.
  • It was the only possible reply.
  • CHAPTER XVII
  • ANOTHER VACANCY
  • Wyatt got back late that night, arriving at the dormitory as Mike was
  • going to bed.
  • "By Jove, I'm done," he said. "It was simply baking at Geddington. And
  • I came back in a carriage with Neville-Smith and Ellerby, and they
  • ragged the whole time. I wanted to go to sleep, only they wouldn't let
  • me. Old Smith was awfully bucked because he'd taken four wickets. I
  • should think he'd go off his nut if he took eight ever. He was singing
  • comic songs when he wasn't trying to put Ellerby under the seat. How's
  • your wrist?"
  • "Oh, better, thanks."
  • Wyatt began to undress.
  • "Any colours?" asked Mike after a pause. First eleven colours were
  • generally given in the pavilion after a match or on the journey home.
  • "No. Only one or two thirds. Jenkins and Clephane, and another chap,
  • can't remember who. No first, though."
  • "What was Bob's innings like?"
  • "Not bad. A bit lucky. He ought to have been out before he'd scored,
  • and he was out when he'd made about sixteen, only the umpire didn't
  • seem to know that it's l-b-w when you get your leg right in front of
  • the wicket and the ball hits it. Never saw a clearer case in my life.
  • I was in at the other end. Bit rotten for the Geddington chaps. Just
  • lost them the match. Their umpire, too. Bit of luck for Bob. He didn't
  • give the ghost of a chance after that."
  • "I should have thought they'd have given him his colours."
  • "Most captains would have done, only Burgess is so keen on fielding
  • that he rather keeps off it."
  • "Why, did he field badly?"
  • "Rottenly. And the man always will choose Billy's bowling to drop
  • catches off. And Billy would cut his rich uncle from Australia if he
  • kept on dropping them off him. Bob's fielding's perfectly sinful. He
  • was pretty bad at the beginning of the season, but now he's got so
  • nervous that he's a dozen times worse. He turns a delicate green when
  • he sees a catch coming. He let their best man off twice in one over,
  • off Billy, to-day; and the chap went on and made a hundred odd.
  • Ripping innings bar those two chances. I hear he's got an average of
  • eighty in school matches this season. Beastly man to bowl to. Knocked
  • me off in half a dozen overs. And, when he does give a couple of easy
  • chances, Bob puts them both on the floor. Billy wouldn't have given
  • him his cap after the match if he'd made a hundred. Bob's the sort of
  • man who wouldn't catch a ball if you handed it to him on a plate, with
  • watercress round it."
  • Burgess, reviewing the match that night, as he lay awake in his
  • cubicle, had come to much the same conclusion. He was very fond of
  • Bob, but two missed catches in one over was straining the bonds of
  • human affection too far. There would have been serious trouble between
  • David and Jonathan if either had persisted in dropping catches off the
  • other's bowling. He writhed in bed as he remembered the second of the
  • two chances which the wretched Bob had refused. The scene was
  • indelibly printed on his mind. Chap had got a late cut which he
  • fancied rather. With great guile he had fed this late cut. Sent down a
  • couple which he put to the boundary. Then fired a third much faster
  • and a bit shorter. Chap had a go at it, just as he had expected: and
  • he felt that life was a good thing after all when the ball just
  • touched the corner of the bat and flew into Bob's hands. And Bob
  • dropped it!
  • The memory was too bitter. If he dwelt on it, he felt, he would get
  • insomnia. So he turned to pleasanter reflections: the yorker which had
  • shattered the second-wicket man, and the slow head-ball which had led
  • to a big hitter being caught on the boundary. Soothed by these
  • memories, he fell asleep.
  • Next morning he found himself in a softened frame of mind. He thought
  • of Bob's iniquities with sorrow rather than wrath. He felt towards him
  • much as a father feels towards a prodigal son whom there is still a
  • chance of reforming. He overtook Bob on his way to chapel.
  • Directness was always one of Burgess's leading qualities.
  • "Look here, Bob. About your fielding. It's simply awful."
  • Bob was all remorse.
  • "It's those beastly slip catches. I can't time them."
  • "That one yesterday was right into your hands. Both of them were."
  • "I know. I'm frightfully sorry."
  • "Well, but I mean, why _can't_ you hold them? It's no good being
  • a good bat--you're that all right--if you're going to give away runs
  • in the field."
  • "Do you know, I believe I should do better in the deep. I could get
  • time to watch them there. I wish you'd give me a shot in the deep--for
  • the second."
  • "Second be blowed! I want your batting in the first. Do you think
  • you'd really do better in the deep?"
  • "I'm almost certain I should. I'll practise like mad. Trevor'll hit me
  • up catches. I hate the slips. I get in the dickens of a funk directly
  • the bowler starts his run now. I know that if a catch does come, I
  • shall miss it. I'm certain the deep would be much better."
  • "All right then. Try it."
  • The conversation turned to less pressing topics.
  • * * * * *
  • In the next two matches, accordingly, Bob figured on the boundary,
  • where he had not much to do except throw the ball back to the bowler,
  • and stop an occasional drive along the carpet. The beauty of fielding
  • in the deep is that no unpleasant surprises can be sprung upon one.
  • There is just that moment or two for collecting one's thoughts which
  • makes the whole difference. Bob, as he stood regarding the game from
  • afar, found his self-confidence returning slowly, drop by drop.
  • As for Mike, he played for the second, and hoped for the day.
  • * * * * *
  • His opportunity came at last. It will be remembered that on the
  • morning after the Great Picnic the headmaster made an announcement in
  • Hall to the effect that, owing to an outbreak of chicken-pox in the
  • town, all streets except the High Street would be out of bounds. This
  • did not affect the bulk of the school, for most of the shops to which
  • any one ever thought of going were in the High Street. But there were
  • certain inquiring minds who liked to ferret about in odd corners.
  • Among these was one Leather-Twigg, of Seymour's, better known in
  • criminal circles as Shoeblossom.
  • Shoeblossom was a curious mixture of the Energetic Ragger and the
  • Quiet Student. On a Monday evening you would hear a hideous uproar
  • proceeding from Seymour's junior day-room; and, going down with a
  • swagger-stick to investigate, you would find a tangled heap of
  • squealing humanity on the floor, and at the bottom of the heap,
  • squealing louder than any two others, would be Shoeblossom, his collar
  • burst and blackened and his face apoplectically crimson. On the
  • Tuesday afternoon, strolling in some shady corner of the grounds you
  • would come upon him lying on his chest, deep in some work of fiction
  • and resentful of interruption. On the Wednesday morning he would be in
  • receipt of four hundred lines from his housemaster for breaking three
  • windows and a gas-globe. Essentially a man of moods, Shoeblossom.
  • It happened about the date of the Geddington match that he took out
  • from the school library a copy of "The Iron Pirate," and for the next
  • day or two he wandered about like a lost spirit trying to find a
  • sequestered spot in which to read it. His inability to hit on such a
  • spot was rendered more irritating by the fact that, to judge from the
  • first few chapters (which he had managed to get through during prep.
  • one night under the eye of a short-sighted master), the book was
  • obviously the last word in hot stuff. He tried the junior day-room,
  • but people threw cushions at him. He tried out of doors, and a ball
  • hit from a neighbouring net nearly scalped him. Anything in the nature
  • of concentration became impossible in these circumstances.
  • Then he recollected that in a quiet backwater off the High Street
  • there was a little confectioner's shop, where tea might be had at a
  • reasonable sum, and also, what was more important, peace.
  • He made his way there, and in the dingy back shop, all amongst the
  • dust and bluebottles, settled down to a thoughtful perusal of chapter
  • six.
  • Upstairs, at the same moment, the doctor was recommending that Master
  • John George, the son of the house, be kept warm and out of draughts
  • and not permitted to scratch himself, however necessary such an action
  • might seem to him. In brief, he was attending J. G. for chicken-pox.
  • Shoeblossom came away, entering the High Street furtively, lest
  • Authority should see him out of bounds, and returned to the school,
  • where he went about his lawful occasions as if there were no such
  • thing as chicken-pox in the world.
  • But all the while the microbe was getting in some unostentatious but
  • clever work. A week later Shoeblossom began to feel queer. He had
  • occasional headaches, and found himself oppressed by a queer distaste
  • for food. The professional advice of Dr. Oakes, the school doctor, was
  • called for, and Shoeblossom took up his abode in the Infirmary, where
  • he read _Punch_, sucked oranges, and thought of Life.
  • Two days later Barry felt queer. He, too, disappeared from Society.
  • Chicken-pox is no respecter of persons. The next victim was Marsh, of
  • the first eleven. Marsh, who was top of the school averages. Where
  • were his drives now, his late cuts that were wont to set the pavilion
  • in a roar. Wrapped in a blanket, and looking like the spotted marvel
  • of a travelling circus, he was driven across to the Infirmary in a
  • four-wheeler, and it became incumbent upon Burgess to select a
  • substitute for him.
  • And so it came about that Mike soared once again into the ranks of the
  • elect, and found his name down in the team to play against the
  • Incogniti.
  • CHAPTER XVIII
  • BOB HAS NEWS TO IMPART
  • Wrykyn went down badly before the Incogs. It generally happens at
  • least once in a school cricket season that the team collapses
  • hopelessly, for no apparent reason. Some schools do it in nearly every
  • match, but Wrykyn so far had been particularly fortunate this year.
  • They had only been beaten once, and that by a mere twenty odd runs in
  • a hard-fought game. But on this particular day, against a not
  • overwhelmingly strong side, they failed miserably. The weather may
  • have had something to do with it, for rain fell early in the morning,
  • and the school, batting first on the drying wicket, found themselves
  • considerably puzzled by a slow left-hander. Morris and Berridge left
  • with the score still short of ten, and after that the rout began. Bob,
  • going in fourth wicket, made a dozen, and Mike kept his end up, and
  • was not out eleven; but nobody except Wyatt, who hit out at everything
  • and knocked up thirty before he was stumped, did anything to
  • distinguish himself. The total was a hundred and seven, and the
  • Incogniti, batting when the wicket was easier, doubled this.
  • The general opinion of the school after this match was that either
  • Mike or Bob would have to stand down from the team when it was
  • definitely filled up, for Neville-Smith, by showing up well with the
  • ball against the Incogniti when the others failed with the bat, made
  • it practically certain that he would get one of the two vacancies.
  • "If I do" he said to Wyatt, "there will be the biggest bust of modern
  • times at my place. My pater is away for a holiday in Norway, and I'm
  • alone, bar the servants. And I can square them. Will you come?"
  • "Tea?"
  • "Tea!" said Neville-Smith scornfully.
  • "Well, what then?"
  • "Don't you ever have feeds in the dorms. after lights-out in the
  • houses?"
  • "Used to when I was a kid. Too old now. Have to look after my
  • digestion. I remember, three years ago, when Wain's won the footer
  • cup, we got up and fed at about two in the morning. All sorts of
  • luxuries. Sardines on sugar-biscuits. I've got the taste in my mouth
  • still. Do you remember Macpherson? Left a couple of years ago. His
  • food ran out, so he spread brown-boot polish on bread, and ate that.
  • Got through a slice, too. Wonderful chap! But what about this thing of
  • yours? What time's it going to be?"
  • "Eleven suit you?"
  • "All right."
  • "How about getting out?"
  • "I'll do it as quickly as the team did to-day. I can't say more than
  • that."
  • "You were all right."
  • "I'm an exceptional sort of chap."
  • "What about the Jacksons?"
  • "It's going to be a close thing. If Bob's fielding were to improve
  • suddenly, he would just do it. But young Mike's all over him as a bat.
  • In a year or two that kid'll be a marvel. He's bound to get in next
  • year, of course, so perhaps it would be better if Bob got the place as
  • it's his last season. Still, one wants the best man, of course."
  • * * * * *
  • Mike avoided Bob as much as possible during this anxious period; and
  • he privately thought it rather tactless of the latter when, meeting
  • him one day outside Donaldson's, he insisted on his coming in and
  • having some tea.
  • Mike shuffled uncomfortably as his brother filled the kettle and lit
  • the Etna. It required more tact than he had at his disposal to carry
  • off a situation like this.
  • Bob, being older, was more at his ease. He got tea ready, making
  • desultory conversation the while, as if there were no particular
  • reason why either of them should feel uncomfortable in the other's
  • presence. When he had finished, he poured Mike out a cup, passed him
  • the bread, and sat down.
  • "Not seen much of each other lately, Mike, what?"
  • Mike murmured unintelligibly through a mouthful of bread-and-jam.
  • "It's no good pretending it isn't an awkward situation," continued
  • Bob, "because it is. Beastly awkward."
  • "Awful rot the pater sending us to the same school."
  • "Oh, I don't know. We've all been at Wrykyn. Pity to spoil the record.
  • It's your fault for being such a young Infant Prodigy, and mine for not
  • being able to field like an ordinary human being."
  • "You get on much better in the deep."
  • "Bit better, yes. Liable at any moment to miss a sitter, though. Not
  • that it matters much really whether I do now."
  • Mike stared.
  • "What! Why?"
  • "That's what I wanted to see you about. Has Burgess said anything to
  • you yet?"
  • "No. Why? What about?"
  • "Well, I've a sort of idea our little race is over. I fancy you've
  • won."
  • "I've not heard a word----"
  • "I have. I'll tell you what makes me think the thing's settled. I
  • was in the pav. just now, in the First room, trying to find a
  • batting-glove I'd mislaid. There was a copy of the _Wrykynian_
  • lying on the mantelpiece, and I picked it up and started reading it.
  • So there wasn't any noise to show anybody outside that there was some
  • one in the room. And then I heard Burgess and Spence jawing on the
  • steps. They thought the place was empty, of course. I couldn't help
  • hearing what they said. The pav.'s like a sounding-board. I heard every
  • word. Spence said, 'Well, it's about as difficult a problem as any
  • captain of cricket at Wrykyn has ever had to tackle.' I had a sort of
  • idea that old Billy liked to boss things all on his own, but apparently
  • he does consult Spence sometimes. After all, he's cricket-master, and
  • that's what he's there for. Well, Billy said, 'I don't know what to
  • do. What do you think, sir?' Spence said, 'Well, I'll give you my
  • opinion, Burgess, but don't feel bound to act on it. I'm simply saying
  • what I think.' 'Yes, sir,' said old Bill, doing a big Young Disciple
  • with Wise Master act. '_I_ think M.,' said Spence. 'Decidedly M.
  • He's a shade better than R. now, and in a year or two, of course,
  • there'll be no comparison.'"
  • "Oh, rot," muttered Mike, wiping the sweat off his forehead. This was
  • one of the most harrowing interviews he had ever been through.
  • "Not at all. Billy agreed with him. 'That's just what I think, sir,'
  • he said. 'It's rough on Bob, but still----' And then they walked down
  • the steps. I waited a bit to give them a good start, and then sheered
  • off myself. And so home."
  • Mike looked at the floor, and said nothing.
  • There was nothing much to _be_ said.
  • "Well, what I wanted to see you about was this," resumed Bob. "I don't
  • propose to kiss you or anything; but, on the other hand, don't let's
  • go to the other extreme. I'm not saying that it isn't a bit of a brick
  • just missing my cap like this, but it would have been just as bad for
  • you if you'd been the one dropped. It's the fortune of war. I don't
  • want you to go about feeling that you've blighted my life, and so on,
  • and dashing up side-streets to avoid me because you think the sight of
  • you will be painful. As it isn't me, I'm jolly glad it's you; and I
  • shall cadge a seat in the pavilion from you when you're playing for
  • England at the Oval. Congratulate you."
  • It was the custom at Wrykyn, when you congratulated a man on getting
  • colours, to shake his hand. They shook hands.
  • "Thanks, awfully, Bob," said Mike. And after that there seemed to be
  • nothing much to talk about. So Mike edged out of the room, and tore
  • across to Wain's.
  • He was sorry for Bob, but he would not have been human (which he
  • certainly was) if the triumph of having won through at last into the
  • first eleven had not dwarfed commiseration. It had been his one
  • ambition, and now he had achieved it.
  • The annoying part of the thing was that he had nobody to talk to about
  • it. Until the news was official he could not mention it to the common
  • herd. It wouldn't do. The only possible confidant was Wyatt. And Wyatt
  • was at Bisley, shooting with the School Eight for the Ashburton. For
  • bull's-eyes as well as cats came within Wyatt's range as a marksman.
  • Cricket took up too much of his time for him to be captain of the
  • Eight and the man chosen to shoot for the Spencer, as he would
  • otherwise almost certainly have been; but even though short of
  • practice he was well up in the team.
  • Until he returned, Mike could tell nobody. And by the time he returned
  • the notice would probably be up in the Senior Block with the other
  • cricket notices.
  • In this fermenting state Mike went into the house.
  • The list of the team to play for Wain's _v_. Seymour's on the
  • following Monday was on the board. As he passed it, a few words
  • scrawled in pencil at the bottom caught his eye.
  • "All the above will turn out for house-fielding at 6.30 to-morrow
  • morning.--W. F.-S."
  • "Oh, dash it," said Mike, "what rot! Why on earth can't he leave us
  • alone!"
  • For getting up an hour before his customary time for rising was not
  • among Mike's favourite pastimes. Still, orders were orders, he felt.
  • It would have to be done.
  • CHAPTER XIX
  • MIKE GOES TO SLEEP AGAIN
  • Mike was a stout supporter of the view that sleep in large quantities
  • is good for one. He belonged to the school of thought which holds that
  • a man becomes plain and pasty if deprived of his full spell in bed. He
  • aimed at the peach-bloom complexion.
  • To be routed out of bed a clear hour before the proper time, even on a
  • summer morning, was not, therefore, a prospect that appealed to him.
  • When he woke it seemed even less attractive than it had done when
  • he went to sleep. He had banged his head on the pillow six times
  • over-night, and this silent alarm proved effective, as it always
  • does. Reaching out a hand for his watch, he found that it was five
  • minutes past six.
  • This was to the good. He could manage another quarter of an hour
  • between the sheets. It would only take him ten minutes to wash and get
  • into his flannels.
  • He took his quarter of an hour, and a little more. He woke from a sort
  • of doze to find that it was twenty-five past.
  • Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing.
  • One may reason with oneself clearly and forcibly without the slightest
  • effect. One knows that delay means inconvenience. Perhaps it may spoil
  • one's whole day. And one also knows that a single resolute heave will
  • do the trick. But logic is of no use. One simply lies there.
  • Mike thought he would take another minute.
  • And during that minute there floated into his mind the question, Who
  • _was_ Firby-Smith? That was the point. Who _was_ he, after all?
  • This started quite a new train of thought. Previously Mike had firmly
  • intended to get up--some time. Now he began to waver.
  • The more he considered the Gazeka's insignificance and futility and
  • his own magnificence, the more outrageous did it seem that he should
  • be dragged out of bed to please Firby-Smith's vapid mind. Here was he,
  • about to receive his first eleven colours on this very day probably,
  • being ordered about, inconvenienced--in short, put upon by a worm who
  • had only just scraped into the third.
  • Was this right, he asked himself. Was this proper?
  • And the hands of the watch moved round to twenty to.
  • What was the matter with his fielding? _It_ was all right. Make
  • the rest of the team fag about, yes. But not a chap who, dash it all,
  • had got his first _for_ fielding!
  • It was with almost a feeling of self-righteousness that Mike turned
  • over on his side and went to sleep again.
  • And outside in the cricket-field, the massive mind of the Gazeka was
  • filled with rage, as it was gradually borne in upon him that this was
  • not a question of mere lateness--which, he felt, would be bad enough,
  • for when he said six-thirty he meant six-thirty--but of actual
  • desertion. It was time, he said to himself, that the foot of Authority
  • was set firmly down, and the strong right hand of Justice allowed to
  • put in some energetic work. His comments on the team's fielding that
  • morning were bitter and sarcastic. His eyes gleamed behind their
  • pince-nez.
  • The painful interview took place after breakfast. The head of the
  • house despatched his fag in search of Mike, and waited. He paced up
  • and down the room like a hungry lion, adjusting his pince-nez (a
  • thing, by the way, which lions seldom do) and behaving in other
  • respects like a monarch of the desert. One would have felt, looking at
  • him, that Mike, in coming to his den, was doing a deed which would
  • make the achievement of Daniel seem in comparison like the tentative
  • effort of some timid novice.
  • And certainly Mike was not without qualms as he knocked at the door,
  • and went in in response to the hoarse roar from the other side of it.
  • Firby-Smith straightened his tie, and glared.
  • "Young Jackson," he said, "look here, I want to know what it all
  • means, and jolly quick. You weren't at house-fielding this morning.
  • Didn't you see the notice?"
  • Mike admitted that he had seen the notice.
  • "Then you frightful kid, what do you mean by it? What?"
  • Mike hesitated. Awfully embarrassing, this. His real reason for not
  • turning up to house-fielding was that he considered himself above such
  • things, and Firby-Smith a toothy weed. Could he give this excuse? He
  • had not his Book of Etiquette by him at the moment, but he rather
  • fancied not. There was no arguing against the fact that the head of
  • the house _was_ a toothy weed; but he felt a firm conviction that
  • it would not be politic to say so.
  • Happy thought: over-slept himself.
  • He mentioned this.
  • "Over-slept yourself! You must jolly well not over-sleep yourself.
  • What do you mean by over-sleeping yourself?"
  • Very trying this sort of thing.
  • "What time did you wake up?"
  • "Six," said Mike.
  • It was not according to his complicated, yet intelligible code of
  • morality to tell lies to save himself. When others were concerned he
  • could suppress the true and suggest the false with a face of brass.
  • "Six!"
  • "Five past."
  • "Why didn't you get up then?"
  • "I went to sleep again."
  • "Oh, you went to sleep again, did you? Well, just listen to me. I've
  • had my eye on you for some time, and I've seen it coming on. You've
  • got swelled head, young man. That's what you've got. Frightful swelled
  • head. You think the place belongs to you."
  • "I don't," said Mike indignantly.
  • "Yes, you do," said the Gazeka shrilly. "You think the whole frightful
  • place belongs to you. You go siding about as if you'd bought it. Just
  • because you've got your second, you think you can do what you like;
  • turn up or not, as you please. It doesn't matter whether I'm only in
  • the third and you're in the first. That's got nothing to do with it.
  • The point is that you're one of the house team, and I'm captain of it,
  • so you've jolly well got to turn out for fielding with the others when
  • I think it necessary. See?"
  • Mike said nothing.
  • "Do--you--see, you frightful kid?"
  • [Illustration: "DO--YOU--SEE, YOU FRIGHTFUL KID?"]
  • Mike remained stonily silent. The rather large grain of truth in what
  • Firby-Smith had said had gone home, as the unpleasant truth about
  • ourselves is apt to do; and his feelings were hurt. He was determined
  • not to give in and say that he saw even if the head of the house
  • invoked all the majesty of the prefects' room to help him, as he had
  • nearly done once before. He set his teeth, and stared at a photograph
  • on the wall.
  • Firby-Smith's manner became ominously calm. He produced a
  • swagger-stick from a corner.
  • "Do you see?" he asked again.
  • Mike's jaw set more tightly.
  • What one really wants here is a row of stars.
  • * * * * *
  • Mike was still full of his injuries when Wyatt came back. Wyatt was
  • worn out, but cheerful. The school had finished sixth for the
  • Ashburton, which was an improvement of eight places on their last
  • year's form, and he himself had scored thirty at the two hundred and
  • twenty-seven at the five hundred totals, which had put him in a very
  • good humour with the world.
  • "Me ancient skill has not deserted me," he said, "That's the cats. The
  • man who can wing a cat by moonlight can put a bullet where he likes on
  • a target. I didn't hit the bull every time, but that was to give the
  • other fellows a chance. My fatal modesty has always been a hindrance
  • to me in life, and I suppose it always will be. Well, well! And what
  • of the old homestead? Anything happened since I went away? Me old
  • father, is he well? Has the lost will been discovered, or is there a
  • mortgage on the family estates? By Jove, I could do with a stoup of
  • Malvoisie. I wonder if the moke's gone to bed yet. I'll go down and
  • look. A jug of water drawn from the well in the old courtyard where my
  • ancestors have played as children for centuries back would just about
  • save my life."
  • He left the dormitory, and Mike began to brood over his wrongs once
  • more.
  • Wyatt came back, brandishing a jug of water and a glass.
  • "Oh, for a beaker full of the warm south, full of the true, the
  • blushful Hippocrene! Have you ever tasted Hippocrene, young Jackson?
  • Rather like ginger-beer, with a dash of raspberry-vinegar. Very heady.
  • Failing that, water will do. A-ah!"
  • He put down the glass, and surveyed Mike, who had maintained a moody
  • silence throughout this speech.
  • "What's your trouble?" he asked. "For pains in the back try Ju-jar. If
  • it's a broken heart, Zam-buk's what you want. Who's been quarrelling
  • with you?"
  • "It's only that ass Firby-Smith."
  • "Again! I never saw such chaps as you two. Always at it. What was the
  • trouble this time? Call him a grinning ape again? Your passion for the
  • truth'll be getting you into trouble one of these days."
  • "He said I stuck on side."
  • "Why?"
  • "I don't know."
  • "I mean, did he buttonhole you on your way to school, and say,
  • 'Jackson, a word in your ear. You stick on side.' Or did he lead up to
  • it in any way? Did he say, 'Talking of side, you stick it on.' What
  • had you been doing to him?"
  • "It was the house-fielding."
  • "But you can't stick on side at house-fielding. I defy any one to.
  • It's too early in the morning."
  • "I didn't turn up."
  • "What! Why?"
  • "Oh, I don't know."
  • "No, but, look here, really. Did you simply bunk it?"
  • "Yes."
  • Wyatt leaned on the end of Mike's bed, and, having observed its
  • occupant thoughtfully for a moment, proceeded to speak wisdom for the
  • good of his soul.
  • "I say, I don't want to jaw--I'm one of those quiet chaps with
  • strong, silent natures; you may have noticed it--but I must put in
  • a well-chosen word at this juncture. Don't pretend to be dropping
  • off to sleep. Sit up and listen to what your kind old uncle's got to
  • say to you about manners and deportment. Otherwise, blood as you are
  • at cricket, you'll have a rotten time here. There are some things you
  • simply can't do; and one of them is bunking a thing when you're put
  • down for it. It doesn't matter who it is puts you down. If he's
  • captain, you've got to obey him. That's discipline, that 'ere is. The
  • speaker then paused, and took a sip of water from the carafe which
  • stood at his elbow. Cheers from the audience, and a voice 'Hear!
  • Hear!'"
  • Mike rolled over in bed and glared up at the orator. Most of his face
  • was covered by the water-jug, but his eyes stared fixedly from above
  • it. He winked in a friendly way, and, putting down the jug, drew a
  • deep breath.
  • "Nothing like this old '87 water," he said. "Such body."
  • "I like you jawing about discipline," said Mike morosely.
  • "And why, my gentle che-ild, should I not talk about discipline?"
  • "Considering you break out of the house nearly every night."
  • "In passing, rather rum when you think that a burglar would get it
  • hot for breaking in, while I get dropped on if I break out. Why
  • should there be one law for the burglar and one for me? But you were
  • saying--just so. I thank you. About my breaking out. When you're a
  • white-haired old man like me, young Jackson, you'll see that there
  • are two sorts of discipline at school. One you can break if you feel
  • like taking the risks; the other you mustn't ever break. I don't know
  • why, but it isn't done. Until you learn that, you can never hope to
  • become the Perfect Wrykynian like," he concluded modestly, "me."
  • Mike made no reply. He would have perished rather than admit it, but
  • Wyatt's words had sunk in. That moment marked a distinct epoch in his
  • career. His feelings were curiously mixed. He was still furious with
  • Firby-Smith, yet at the same time he could not help acknowledging to
  • himself that the latter had had the right on his side. He saw and
  • approved of Wyatt's point of view, which was the more impressive to
  • him from his knowledge of his friend's contempt for, or, rather,
  • cheerful disregard of, most forms of law and order. If Wyatt, reckless
  • though he was as regarded written school rules, held so rigid a
  • respect for those that were unwritten, these last must be things which
  • could not be treated lightly. That night, for the first time in his
  • life, Mike went to sleep with a clear idea of what the public school
  • spirit, of which so much is talked and written, really meant.
  • CHAPTER XX
  • THE TEAM IS FILLED UP
  • When Burgess, at the end of the conversation in the pavilion with Mr.
  • Spence which Bob Jackson had overheard, accompanied the cricket-master
  • across the field to the boarding-houses, he had distinctly made up his
  • mind to give Mike his first eleven colours next day. There was only
  • one more match to be played before the school fixture-list was
  • finished. That was the match with Ripton. Both at cricket and football
  • Ripton was the school that mattered most. Wrykyn did not always win
  • its other school matches; but it generally did. The public schools of
  • England divide themselves naturally into little groups, as far as
  • games are concerned. Harrow, Eton, and Winchester are one group:
  • Westminster and Charterhouse another: Bedford, Tonbridge, Dulwich,
  • Haileybury, and St. Paul's are a third. In this way, Wrykyn, Ripton,
  • Geddington, and Wilborough formed a group. There was no actual
  • championship competition, but each played each, and by the end of the
  • season it was easy to see which was entitled to first place. This
  • nearly always lay between Ripton and Wrykyn. Sometimes an exceptional
  • Geddington team would sweep the board, or Wrykyn, having beaten
  • Ripton, would go down before Wilborough. But this did not happen
  • often. Usually Wilborough and Geddington were left to scramble for the
  • wooden spoon.
  • Secretaries of cricket at Ripton and Wrykyn always liked to arrange
  • the date of the match towards the end of the term, so that they might
  • take the field with representative and not experimental teams. By July
  • the weeding-out process had generally finished. Besides which the
  • members of the teams had had time to get into form.
  • At Wrykyn it was the custom to fill up the team, if possible, before
  • the Ripton match. A player is likely to show better form if he has got
  • his colours than if his fate depends on what he does in that
  • particular match.
  • Burgess, accordingly, had resolved to fill up the first eleven just a
  • week before Ripton visited Wrykyn. There were two vacancies. One gave
  • him no trouble. Neville-Smith was not a great bowler, but he was
  • steady, and he had done well in the earlier matches. He had fairly
  • earned his place. But the choice between Bob and Mike had kept him
  • awake into the small hours two nights in succession. Finally he had
  • consulted Mr. Spence, and Mr. Spence had voted for Mike.
  • Burgess was glad the thing was settled. The temptation to allow
  • sentiment to interfere with business might have become too strong if
  • he had waited much longer. He knew that it would be a wrench
  • definitely excluding Bob from the team, and he hated to have to do it.
  • The more he thought of it, the sorrier he was for him. If he could
  • have pleased himself, he would have kept Bob In. But, as the poet has
  • it, "Pleasure is pleasure, and biz is biz, and kep' in a sepyrit jug."
  • The first duty of a captain is to have no friends.
  • From small causes great events do spring. If Burgess had not picked up
  • a particularly interesting novel after breakfast on the morning of
  • Mike's interview with Firby-Smith in the study, the list would have
  • gone up on the notice-board after prayers. As it was, engrossed in his
  • book, he let the moments go by till the sound on the bell startled him
  • into movement. And then there was only time to gather up his cap, and
  • sprint. The paper on which he had intended to write the list and the
  • pen he had laid out to write it with lay untouched on the table.
  • And, as it was not his habit to put up notices except during the
  • morning, he postponed the thing. He could write it after tea. After
  • all, there was a week before the match.
  • * * * * *
  • When school was over, he went across to the Infirmary to Inquire about
  • Marsh. The report was more than favourable. Marsh had better not see
  • any one just yet, In case of accident, but he was certain to be out in
  • time to play against Ripton.
  • "Doctor Oakes thinks he will be back in school on Tuesday."
  • "Banzai!" said Burgess, feeling that life was good. To take the field
  • against Ripton without Marsh would have been to court disaster.
  • Marsh's fielding alone was worth the money. With him at short slip,
  • Burgess felt safe when he bowled.
  • The uncomfortable burden of the knowledge that he was about
  • temporarily to sour Bob Jackson's life ceased for the moment to
  • trouble him. He crooned extracts from musical comedy as he walked
  • towards the nets.
  • Recollection of Bob's hard case was brought to him by the sight of
  • that about-to-be-soured sportsman tearing across the ground in the
  • middle distance in an effort to get to a high catch which Trevor had
  • hit up to him. It was a difficult catch, and Burgess waited to see if
  • he would bring it off.
  • Bob got to it with one hand, and held it. His impetus carried him on
  • almost to where Burgess was standing.
  • "Well held," said Burgess.
  • "Hullo," said Bob awkwardly. A gruesome thought had flashed across his
  • mind that the captain might think that this gallery-work was an
  • organised advertisement.
  • "I couldn't get both hands to it," he explained.
  • "You're hot stuff in the deep."
  • "Easy when you're only practising."
  • "I've just been to the Infirmary."
  • "Oh. How's Marsh?"
  • "They wouldn't let me see him, but it's all right. He'll be able to
  • play on Saturday."
  • "Good," said Bob, hoping he had said it as if he meant it. It was
  • decidedly a blow. He was glad for the sake of the school, of course,
  • but one has one's personal ambitions. To the fact that Mike and not
  • himself was the eleventh cap he had become partially resigned: but he
  • had wanted rather badly to play against Ripton.
  • Burgess passed on, his mind full of Bob once more. What hard luck it
  • was! There was he, dashing about in the sun to improve his fielding,
  • and all the time the team was filled up. He felt as if he were playing
  • some low trick on a pal.
  • Then the Jekyll and Hyde business completed itself. He suppressed his
  • personal feelings, and became the cricket captain again.
  • It was the cricket captain who, towards the end of the evening, came
  • upon Firby-Smith and Mike parting at the conclusion of a conversation.
  • That it had not been a friendly conversation would have been evident
  • to the most casual observer from the manner in which Mike stumped off,
  • swinging his cricket-bag as if it were a weapon of offence. There are
  • many kinds of walk. Mike's was the walk of the Overwrought Soul.
  • "What's up?" inquired Burgess.
  • "Young Jackson, do you mean? Oh, nothing. I was only telling him that
  • there was going to be house-fielding to-morrow before breakfast."
  • "Didn't he like the idea?"
  • "He's jolly well got to like it," said the Gazeka, as who should say,
  • "This way for Iron Wills." "The frightful kid cut it this morning.
  • There'll be worse trouble if he does it again."
  • There was, it may be mentioned, not an ounce of malice in the head
  • of Wain's house. That by telling the captain of cricket that Mike had
  • shirked fielding-practice he might injure the latter's prospects of a
  • first eleven cap simply did not occur to him. That Burgess would feel,
  • on being told of Mike's slackness, much as a bishop might feel if he
  • heard that a favourite curate had become a Mahometan or a Mumbo-Jumboist,
  • did not enter his mind. All he considered was that the story of his
  • dealings with Mike showed him, Firby-Smith, in the favourable and
  • dashing character of the fellow-who-will-stand-no-nonsense, a sort
  • of Captain Kettle on dry land, in fact; and so he proceeded to tell
  • it in detail.
  • Burgess parted with him with the firm conviction that Mike was a young
  • slacker. Keenness in fielding was a fetish with him; and to cut
  • practice struck him as a crime.
  • He felt that he had been deceived in Mike.
  • * * * * *
  • When, therefore, one takes into consideration his private bias in
  • favour of Bob, and adds to it the reaction caused by this sudden
  • unmasking of Mike, it is not surprising that the list Burgess made out
  • that night before he went to bed differed in an important respect from
  • the one he had intended to write before school.
  • Mike happened to be near the notice-board when he pinned it up. It was
  • only the pleasure of seeing his name down in black-and-white that made
  • him trouble to look at the list. Bob's news of the day before
  • yesterday had made it clear how that list would run.
  • The crowd that collected the moment Burgess had walked off carried him
  • right up to the board.
  • He looked at the paper.
  • "Hard luck!" said somebody.
  • Mike scarcely heard him.
  • He felt physically sick with the shock of the disappointment. For the
  • initial before the name Jackson was R.
  • There was no possibility of mistake. Since writing was invented, there
  • had never been an R. that looked less like an M. than the one on that
  • list.
  • Bob had beaten him on the tape.
  • CHAPTER XXI
  • MARJORY THE FRANK
  • At the door of the senior block Burgess, going out, met Bob coming in,
  • hurrying, as he was rather late.
  • "Congratulate you, Bob," he said; and passed on.
  • Bob stared after him. As he stared, Trevor came out of the block.
  • "Congratulate you, Bob."
  • "What's the matter now?"
  • "Haven't you seen?"
  • "Seen what?"
  • "Why the list. You've got your first."
  • "My--what? you're rotting."
  • "No, I'm not. Go and look."
  • The thing seemed incredible. Had he dreamed that conversation between
  • Spence and Burgess on the pavilion steps? Had he mixed up the names?
  • He was certain that he had heard Spence give his verdict for Mike, and
  • Burgess agree with him.
  • Just then, Mike, feeling very ill, came down the steps. He caught
  • sight of Bob and was passing with a feeble grin, when something told
  • him that this was one of those occasions on which one has to show a
  • Red Indian fortitude and stifle one's private feelings.
  • "Congratulate you, Bob," he said awkwardly.
  • "Thanks awfully," said Bob, with equal awkwardness. Trevor moved on,
  • delicately. This was no place for him. Bob's face was looking like a
  • stuffed frog's, which was Bob's way of trying to appear unconcerned
  • and at his ease, while Mike seemed as if at any moment he might burst
  • into tears. Spectators are not wanted at these awkward interviews.
  • There was a short silence.
  • "Jolly glad you've got it," said Mike.
  • "I believe there's a mistake. I swear I heard Burgess say to Spence----"
  • "He changed his mind probably. No reason why he shouldn't."
  • "Well, it's jolly rummy."
  • Bob endeavoured to find consolation.
  • "Anyhow, you'll have three years in the first. You're a cert. for next
  • year."
  • "Hope so," said Mike, with such manifest lack of enthusiasm that Bob
  • abandoned this line of argument. When one has missed one's colours,
  • next year seems a very, very long way off.
  • They moved slowly through the cloisters, neither speaking, and up the
  • stairs that led to the Great Hall. Each was gratefully conscious of
  • the fact that prayers would be beginning in another minute, putting an
  • end to an uncomfortable situation.
  • "Heard from home lately?" inquired Mike.
  • Bob snatched gladly at the subject.
  • "Got a letter from mother this morning. I showed you the last one,
  • didn't I? I've only just had time to skim through this one, as the
  • post was late, and I only got it just as I was going to dash across to
  • school. Not much in it. Here it is, if you want to read it."
  • "Thanks. It'll be something to do during Math."
  • "Marjory wrote, too, for the first time in her life. Haven't had time
  • to look at it yet."
  • "After you. Sure it isn't meant for me? She owes me a letter."
  • "No, it's for me all right. I'll give it you in the interval."
  • The arrival of the headmaster put an end to the conversation.
  • * * * * *
  • By a quarter to eleven Mike had begun to grow reconciled to his fate.
  • The disappointment was still there, but it was lessened. These things
  • are like kicks on the shin. A brief spell of agony, and then a dull
  • pain of which we are not always conscious unless our attention is
  • directed to it, and which in time disappears altogether. When the bell
  • rang for the interval that morning, Mike was, as it were, sitting up
  • and taking nourishment.
  • He was doing this in a literal as well as in a figurative sense when
  • Bob entered the school shop.
  • Bob appeared curiously agitated. He looked round, and, seeing Mike,
  • pushed his way towards him through the crowd. Most of those present
  • congratulated him as he passed; and Mike noticed, with some surprise,
  • that, in place of the blushful grin which custom demands from the man
  • who is being congratulated on receipt of colours, there appeared on
  • his face a worried, even an irritated look. He seemed to have
  • something on his mind.
  • "Hullo," said Mike amiably. "Got that letter?"
  • "Yes. I'll show it you outside."
  • "Why not here?"
  • "Come on."
  • Mike resented the tone, but followed. Evidently something had happened
  • to upset Bob seriously. As they went out on the gravel, somebody
  • congratulated Bob again, and again Bob hardly seemed to appreciate
  • it.'
  • Bob led the way across the gravel and on to the first terrace. When
  • they had left the crowd behind, he stopped.
  • "What's up?" asked Mike.
  • "I want you to read----"
  • "Jackson!"
  • They both turned. The headmaster was standing on the edge of the
  • gravel.
  • Bob pushed the letter into Mike's hands.
  • "Read that," he said, and went up to the headmaster. Mike heard the
  • words "English Essay," and, seeing that the conversation was
  • apparently going to be one of some length, capped the headmaster and
  • walked off. He was just going to read the letter when the bell rang.
  • He put the missive in his pocket, and went to his form-room wondering
  • what Marjory could have found to say to Bob to touch him on the raw to
  • such an extent. She was a breezy correspondent, with a style of her
  • own, but usually she entertained rather than upset people. No
  • suspicion of the actual contents of the letter crossed his mind.
  • He read it during school, under the desk; and ceased to wonder. Bob
  • had had cause to look worried. For the thousand and first time in her
  • career of crime Marjory had been and done it! With a strong hand she
  • had shaken the cat out of the bag, and exhibited it plainly to all
  • whom it might concern.
  • There was a curious absence of construction about the letter. Most
  • authors of sensational matter nurse their bomb-shell, lead up to
  • it, and display it to the best advantage. Marjory dropped hers into
  • the body of the letter, and let it take its chance with the other
  • news-items.
  • "DEAR BOB" (the letter ran),--
  • "I hope you are quite well. I am quite well. Phyllis has a cold,
  • Ella cheeked Mademoiselle yesterday, and had to write out 'Little
  • Girls must be polite and obedient' a hundred times in French. She
  • was jolly sick about it. I told her it served her right. Joe made
  • eighty-three against Lancashire. Reggie made a duck. Have you got
  • your first? If you have, it will be all through Mike. Uncle John
  • told Father that Mike pretended to hurt his wrist so that you could
  • play instead of him for the school, and Father said it was very
  • sporting of Mike but nobody must tell you because it wouldn't be
  • fair if you got your first for you to know that you owed it to Mike
  • and I wasn't supposed to hear but I did because I was in the room
  • only they didn't know I was (we were playing hide-and-seek and I was
  • hiding) so I'm writing to tell you,
  • "From your affectionate sister
  • "Marjory."
  • There followed a P.S.
  • "I'll tell you what you ought to do. I've been reading a jolly good
  • book called 'The Boys of Dormitory Two,' and the hero's an awfully
  • nice boy named Lionel Tremayne, and his friend Jack Langdale saves
  • his life when a beast of a boatman who's really employed by Lionel's
  • cousin who wants the money that Lionel's going to have when he grows
  • up stuns him and leaves him on the beach to drown. Well, Lionel is
  • going to play for the school against Loamshire, and it's _the_
  • match of the season, but he goes to the headmaster and says he wants
  • Jack to play instead of him. Why don't you do that?
  • "M.
  • "P.P.S.--This has been a frightful fag to write."
  • For the life of him Mike could not help giggling as he pictured what
  • Bob's expression must have been when his brother read this document.
  • But the humorous side of the thing did not appeal to him for long.
  • What should he say to Bob? What would Bob say to him? Dash it all, it
  • made him look such an awful _ass_! Anyhow, Bob couldn't do much.
  • In fact he didn't see that he could do anything. The team was filled
  • up, and Burgess was not likely to alter it. Besides, why should he
  • alter it? Probably he would have given Bob his colours anyhow. Still,
  • it was beastly awkward. Marjory meant well, but she had put her foot
  • right in it. Girls oughtn't to meddle with these things. No girl ought
  • to be taught to write till she came of age. And Uncle John had behaved
  • in many respects like the Complete Rotter. If he was going to let out
  • things like that, he might at least have whispered them, or looked
  • behind the curtains to see that the place wasn't chock-full of female
  • kids. Confound Uncle John!
  • Throughout the dinner-hour Mike kept out of Bob's way. But in a small
  • community like a school it is impossible to avoid a man for ever. They
  • met at the nets.
  • "Well?" said Bob.
  • "How do you mean?" said Mike.
  • "Did you read it?"
  • "Yes."
  • "Well, is it all rot, or did you--you know what I mean--sham a crocked
  • wrist?"
  • "Yes," said Mike, "I did."
  • Bob stared gloomily at his toes.
  • "I mean," he said at last, apparently putting the finishing-touch to
  • some train of thought, "I know I ought to be grateful, and all that. I
  • suppose I am. I mean it was jolly good of you--Dash it all," he broke
  • off hotly, as if the putting his position into words had suddenly
  • showed him how inglorious it was, "what did you want to do if
  • _for_? What was the idea? What right have you got to go about
  • playing Providence over me? Dash it all, it's like giving a fellow
  • money without consulting him."
  • "I didn't think you'd ever know. You wouldn't have if only that ass
  • Uncle John hadn't let it out."
  • "How did he get to know? Why did you tell him?"
  • "He got it out of me. I couldn't choke him off. He came down when you
  • were away at Geddington, and would insist on having a look at my arm,
  • and naturally he spotted right away there was nothing the matter with
  • it. So it came out; that's how it was."
  • Bob scratched thoughtfully at the turf with a spike of his boot.
  • "Of course, it was awfully decent----"
  • Then again the monstrous nature of the affair came home to him.
  • "But what did you do it _for_? Why should you rot up your own
  • chances to give me a look in?"
  • "Oh, I don't know.... You know, you did _me_ a jolly good turn."
  • "I don't remember. When?"
  • "That Firby-Smith business."
  • "What about it?"
  • "Well, you got me out of a jolly bad hole."
  • "Oh, rot! And do you mean to tell me it was simply because of that----?"
  • Mike appeared to him in a totally new light. He stared at him as if he
  • were some strange creature hitherto unknown to the human race. Mike
  • shuffled uneasily beneath the scrutiny.
  • "Anyhow, it's all over now," Mike said, "so I don't see what's the
  • point of talking about it."
  • "I'm hanged if it is. You don't think I'm going to sit tight and take
  • my first as if nothing had happened?"
  • "What can you do? The list's up. Are you going to the Old Man to ask
  • him if I can play, like Lionel Tremayne?"
  • The hopelessness of the situation came over Bob like a wave. He looked
  • helplessly at Mike.
  • "Besides," added Mike, "I shall get in next year all right. Half a
  • second, I just want to speak to Wyatt about something."
  • He sidled off.
  • "Well, anyhow," said Bob to himself, "I must see Burgess about it."
  • CHAPTER XXII
  • WYATT IS REMINDED OF AN ENGAGEMENT
  • There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man
  • realises this, and slides out of such situations, admitting himself
  • beaten. Others try to grapple with them, but it never does any good.
  • When affairs get into a real tangle, it is best to sit still and let
  • them straighten themselves out. Or, if one does not do that, simply to
  • think no more about them. This is Philosophy. The true philosopher is
  • the man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his arm-chair.
  • One's attitude towards Life's Little Difficulties should be that of
  • the gentleman in the fable, who sat down on an acorn one day, and
  • happened to doze. The warmth of his body caused the acorn to
  • germinate, and it grew so rapidly that, when he awoke, he found
  • himself sitting in the fork of an oak, sixty feet from the ground. He
  • thought he would go home, but, finding this impossible, he altered his
  • plans. "Well, well," he said, "if I cannot compel circumstances to my
  • will, I can at least adapt my will to circumstances. I decide to
  • remain here." Which he did, and had a not unpleasant time. The oak
  • lacked some of the comforts of home, but the air was splendid and the
  • view excellent.
  • To-day's Great Thought for Young Readers. Imitate this man.
  • Bob should have done so, but he had not the necessary amount of
  • philosophy. He still clung to the idea that he and Burgess, in
  • council, might find some way of making things right for everybody.
  • Though, at the moment, he did not see how eleven caps were to be
  • divided amongst twelve candidates in such a way that each should have
  • one.
  • And Burgess, consulted on the point, confessed to the same inability
  • to solve the problem. It took Bob at least a quarter of an hour to get
  • the facts of the case into the captain's head, but at last Burgess
  • grasped the idea of the thing. At which period he remarked that it was
  • a rum business.
  • "Very rum," Bob agreed. "Still, what you say doesn't help us out much,
  • seeing that the point is, what's to be done?"
  • "Why do anything?"
  • Burgess was a philosopher, and took the line of least resistance, like
  • the man in the oak-tree.
  • "But I must do something," said Bob. "Can't you see how rotten it is
  • for me?"
  • "I don't see why. It's not your fault. Very sporting of your brother
  • and all that, of course, though I'm blowed if I'd have done it myself;
  • but why should you do anything? You're all right. Your brother stood
  • out of the team to let you in it, and here you _are_, in it.
  • What's he got to grumble about?"
  • "He's not grumbling. It's me."
  • "What's the matter with you? Don't you want your first?"
  • "Not like this. Can't you see what a rotten position it is for me?"
  • "Don't you worry. You simply keep on saying you're all right. Besides,
  • what do you want me to do? Alter the list?"
  • But for the thought of those unspeakable outsiders, Lionel Tremayne
  • and his headmaster, Bob might have answered this question in the
  • affirmative; but he had the public-school boy's terror of seeming to
  • pose or do anything theatrical. He would have done a good deal to put
  • matters right, but he could _not_ do the self-sacrificing young
  • hero business. It would not be in the picture. These things, if they
  • are to be done at school, have to be carried through stealthily, after
  • Mike's fashion.
  • "I suppose you can't very well, now it's up. Tell you what, though, I
  • don't see why I shouldn't stand out of the team for the Ripton match.
  • I could easily fake up some excuse."
  • "I do. I don't know if it's occurred to you, but the idea is rather to
  • win the Ripton match, if possible. So that I'm a lot keen on putting
  • the best team into the field. Sorry if it upsets your arrangements in
  • any way."
  • "You know perfectly well Mike's every bit as good as me."
  • "He isn't so keen."
  • "What do you mean?"
  • "Fielding. He's a young slacker."
  • When Burgess had once labelled a man as that, he did not readily let
  • the idea out of his mind.
  • "Slacker? What rot! He's as keen as anything."
  • "Anyhow, his keenness isn't enough to make him turn out for
  • house-fielding. If you really want to know, that's why you've
  • got your first instead of him. You sweated away, and improved
  • your fielding twenty per cent.; and I happened to be talking to
  • Firby-Smith and found that young Mike had been shirking his, so
  • out he went. A bad field's bad enough, but a slack field wants
  • skinning."
  • "Smith oughtn't to have told you."
  • "Well, he did tell me. So you see how it is. There won't be any
  • changes from the team I've put up on the board."
  • "Oh, all right," said Bob. "I was afraid you mightn't be able to do
  • anything. So long."
  • "Mind the step," said Burgess.
  • * * * * *
  • At about the time when this conversation was in progress, Wyatt,
  • crossing the cricket-field towards the school shop in search of
  • something fizzy that might correct a burning thirst acquired at the
  • nets, espied on the horizon a suit of cricket flannels surmounted by a
  • huge, expansive grin. As the distance between them lessened, he
  • discovered that inside the flannels was Neville-Smith's body and
  • behind the grin the rest of Neville-Smith's face. Their visit to the
  • nets not having coincided in point of time, as the Greek exercise
  • books say, Wyatt had not seen his friend since the list of the team
  • had been posted on the board, so he proceeded to congratulate him on
  • his colours.
  • "Thanks," said Neville-Smith, with a brilliant display of front teeth.
  • "Feeling good?"
  • "Not the word for it. I feel like--I don't know what."
  • "I'll tell you what you look like, if that's any good to you. That
  • slight smile of yours will meet behind, if you don't look out, and
  • then the top of your head'll come off."
  • "I don't care. I've got my first, whatever happens. Little Willie's
  • going to buy a nice new cap and a pretty striped jacket all for his
  • own self! I say, thanks for reminding me. Not that you did, but
  • supposing you had. At any rate, I remember what it was I wanted to
  • say to you. You know what I was saying to you about the bust I meant
  • to have at home in honour of my getting my first, if I did, which I
  • have--well, anyhow it's to-night. You can roll up, can't you?"
  • "Delighted. Anything for a free feed in these hard times. What time
  • did you say it was?"
  • "Eleven. Make it a bit earlier, if you like."
  • "No, eleven'll do me all right."
  • "How are you going to get out?"
  • "'Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage.' That's what
  • the man said who wrote the libretto for the last set of Latin Verses
  • we had to do. I shall manage it."
  • "They ought to allow you a latch-key."
  • "Yes, I've often thought of asking my pater for one. Still, I get on
  • very well. Who are coming besides me?"
  • "No boarders. They all funked it."
  • "The race is degenerating."
  • "Said it wasn't good enough."
  • "The school is going to the dogs. Who did you ask?"
  • "Clowes was one. Said he didn't want to miss his beauty-sleep. And
  • Henfrey backed out because he thought the risk of being sacked wasn't
  • good enough."
  • "That's an aspect of the thing that might occur to some people. I
  • don't blame him--I might feel like that myself if I'd got another
  • couple of years at school."
  • "But one or two day-boys are coming. Clephane is, for one. And
  • Beverley. We shall have rather a rag. I'm going to get the things
  • now."
  • "When I get to your place--I don't believe I know the way, now I come
  • to think of it--what do I do? Ring the bell and send in my card? or
  • smash the nearest window and climb in?"
  • "Don't make too much row, for goodness sake. All the servants'll have
  • gone to bed. You'll see the window of my room. It's just above the
  • porch. It'll be the only one lighted up. Heave a pebble at it, and
  • I'll come down."
  • "So will the glass--with a run, I expect. Still, I'll try to do as
  • little damage as possible. After all, I needn't throw a brick."
  • "You _will_ turn up, won't you?"
  • "Nothing shall stop me."
  • "Good man."
  • As Wyatt was turning away, a sudden compunction seized upon
  • Neville-Smith. He called him back.
  • "I say, you don't think it's too risky, do you? I mean, you always are
  • breaking out at night, aren't you? I don't want to get you into a
  • row."
  • "Oh, that's all right," said Wyatt. "Don't you worry about me. I
  • should have gone out anyhow to-night."
  • CHAPTER XXIII
  • A SURPRISE FOR MR. APPLEBY
  • "You may not know it," said Wyatt to Mike in the dormitory that night,
  • "but this is the maddest, merriest day of all the glad New Year."
  • Mike could not help thinking that for himself it was the very reverse,
  • but he did not state his view of the case.
  • "What's up?" he asked.
  • "Neville-Smith's giving a meal at his place in honour of his getting
  • his first. I understand the preparations are on a scale of the utmost
  • magnificence. No expense has been spared. Ginger-beer will flow like
  • water. The oldest cask of lemonade has been broached; and a sardine is
  • roasting whole in the market-place."
  • "Are you going?"
  • "If I can tear myself away from your delightful society. The kick-off
  • is fixed for eleven sharp. I am to stand underneath his window and
  • heave bricks till something happens. I don't know if he keeps a dog.
  • If so, I shall probably get bitten to the bone."
  • "When are you going to start?"
  • "About five minutes after Wain has been round the dormitories to see
  • that all's well. That ought to be somewhere about half-past ten."
  • "Don't go getting caught."
  • "I shall do my little best not to be. Rather tricky work, though,
  • getting back. I've got to climb two garden walls, and I shall probably
  • be so full of Malvoisie that you'll be able to hear it swishing about
  • inside me. No catch steeple-chasing if you're like that. They've no
  • thought for people's convenience here. Now at Bradford they've got
  • studies on the ground floor, the windows looking out over the
  • boundless prairie. No climbing or steeple-chasing needed at all. All
  • you have to do is to open the window and step out. Still, we must make
  • the best of things. Push us over a pinch of that tooth-powder of
  • yours. I've used all mine."
  • Wyatt very seldom penetrated further than his own garden on the
  • occasions when he roamed abroad at night. For cat-shooting the Wain
  • spinneys were unsurpassed. There was one particular dustbin where one
  • might be certain of flushing a covey any night; and the wall by the
  • potting-shed was a feline club-house.
  • But when he did wish to get out into the open country he had a special
  • route which he always took. He climbed down from the wall that ran
  • beneath the dormitory window into the garden belonging to Mr. Appleby,
  • the master who had the house next to Mr. Wain's. Crossing this, he
  • climbed another wall, and dropped from it into a small lane which
  • ended in the main road leading to Wrykyn town.
  • This was the route which he took to-night. It was a glorious July
  • night, and the scent of the flowers came to him with a curious
  • distinctness as he let himself down from the dormitory window. At any
  • other time he might have made a lengthy halt, and enjoyed the scents
  • and small summer noises, but now he felt that it would be better not
  • to delay. There was a full moon, and where he stood he could be seen
  • distinctly from the windows of both houses. They were all dark, it is
  • true, but on these occasions it was best to take no risks.
  • He dropped cautiously into Appleby's garden, ran lightly across it,
  • and was in the lane within a minute.
  • There he paused, dusted his trousers, which had suffered on the
  • two walls, and strolled meditatively in the direction of the town.
  • Half-past ten had just chimed from the school clock. He was in plenty
  • of time.
  • "What a night!" he said to himself, sniffing as he walked.
  • * * * * *
  • Now it happened that he was not alone in admiring the beauty of that
  • particular night. At ten-fifteen it had struck Mr. Appleby, looking
  • out of his study into the moonlit school grounds, that a pipe in the
  • open would make an excellent break in his night's work. He had
  • acquired a slight headache as the result of correcting a batch of
  • examination papers, and he thought that an interval of an hour in the
  • open air before approaching the half-dozen or so papers which still
  • remained to be looked at might do him good. The window of his study
  • was open, but the room had got hot and stuffy. Nothing like a little
  • fresh air for putting him right.
  • For a few moments he debated the rival claims of a stroll in the
  • cricket-field and a seat in the garden. Then he decided on the latter.
  • The little gate in the railings opposite his house might not be
  • open, and it was a long way round to the main entrance. So he took a
  • deck-chair which leaned against the wall, and let himself out of the
  • back door.
  • He took up his position in the shadow of a fir-tree with his back to
  • the house. From here he could see the long garden. He was fond of his
  • garden, and spent what few moments he could spare from work and games
  • pottering about it. He had his views as to what the ideal garden
  • should be, and he hoped in time to tinker his own three acres up to
  • the desired standard. At present there remained much to be done. Why
  • not, for instance, take away those laurels at the end of the lawn, and
  • have a flower-bed there instead? Laurels lasted all the year round,
  • true, whereas flowers died and left an empty brown bed in the winter,
  • but then laurels were nothing much to look at at any time, and a
  • garden always had a beastly appearance in winter, whatever you did to
  • it. Much better have flowers, and get a decent show for one's money in
  • summer at any rate.
  • The problem of the bed at the end of the lawn occupied his complete
  • attention for more than a quarter of an hour, at the end of which
  • period he discovered that his pipe had gone out.
  • He was just feeling for his matches to relight it when Wyatt dropped
  • with a slight thud into his favourite herbaceous border.
  • The surprise, and the agony of feeling that large boots were trampling
  • among his treasures kept him transfixed for just the length of time
  • necessary for Wyatt to cross the garden and climb the opposite wall.
  • As he dropped into the lane, Mr. Appleby recovered himself
  • sufficiently to emit a sort of strangled croak, but the sound was too
  • slight to reach Wyatt. That reveller was walking down the Wrykyn road
  • before Mr. Appleby had left his chair.
  • It is an interesting point that it was the gardener rather than the
  • schoolmaster in Mr. Appleby that first awoke to action. It was not the
  • idea of a boy breaking out of his house at night that occurred to him
  • first as particularly heinous; it was the fact that the boy had broken
  • out _via_ his herbaceous border. In four strides he was on the
  • scene of the outrage, examining, on hands and knees, with the aid of
  • the moonlight, the extent of the damage done.
  • As far as he could see, it was not serious. By a happy accident
  • Wyatt's boots had gone home to right and left of precious plants but
  • not on them. With a sigh of relief Mr. Appleby smoothed over the
  • cavities, and rose to his feet.
  • At this point it began to strike him that the episode affected him as
  • a schoolmaster also.
  • In that startled moment when Wyatt had suddenly crossed his line of
  • vision, he had recognised him. The moon had shone full on his face as
  • he left the flowerbed. There was no doubt in his mind as to the
  • identity of the intruder.
  • He paused, wondering how he should act. It was not an easy question.
  • There was nothing of the spy about Mr. Appleby. He went his way
  • openly, liked and respected by boys and masters. He always played the
  • game. The difficulty here was to say exactly what the game was.
  • Sentiment, of course, bade him forget the episode, treat it as if it
  • had never happened. That was the simple way out of the difficulty.
  • There was nothing unsporting about Mr. Appleby. He knew that there
  • were times when a master might, without blame, close his eyes or look
  • the other way. If he had met Wyatt out of bounds in the day-time, and
  • it had been possible to convey the impression that he had not seen
  • him, he would have done so. To be out of bounds is not a particularly
  • deadly sin. A master must check it if it occurs too frequently, but he
  • may use his discretion.
  • Breaking out at night, however, was a different thing altogether. It
  • was on another plane. There are times when a master must waive
  • sentiment, and remember that he is in a position of trust, and owes a
  • duty directly to his headmaster, and indirectly, through the
  • headmaster, to the parents. He receives a salary for doing this duty,
  • and, if he feels that sentiment is too strong for him, he should
  • resign in favour of some one of tougher fibre.
  • This was the conclusion to which Mr. Appleby came over his relighted
  • pipe. He could not let the matter rest where it was.
  • In ordinary circumstances it would have been his duty to report the
  • affair to the headmaster but in the present case he thought that a
  • slightly different course might be pursued. He would lay the whole
  • thing before Mr. Wain, and leave him to deal with it as he thought
  • best. It was one of the few cases where it was possible for an
  • assistant master to fulfil his duty to a parent directly, instead of
  • through the agency of the headmaster.
  • * * * * *
  • Knocking out the ashes of his pipe against a tree, he folded his
  • deck-chair and went into the house. The examination papers were
  • spread invitingly on the table, but they would have to wait. He
  • turned down his lamp, and walked round to Wain's.
  • There was a light in one of the ground-floor windows. He tapped on the
  • window, and the sound of a chair being pushed back told him that he
  • had been heard. The blind shot up, and he had a view of a room
  • littered with books and papers, in the middle of which stood Mr. Wain,
  • like a sea-beast among rocks.
  • Mr. Wain recognised his visitor and opened the window. Mr. Appleby
  • could not help feeling how like Wain it was to work on a warm summer's
  • night in a hermetically sealed room. There was always something queer
  • and eccentric about Wyatt's step-father.
  • "Can I have a word with you, Wain?" he said.
  • "Appleby! Is there anything the matter? I was startled when you
  • tapped. Exceedingly so."
  • "Sorry," said Mr. Appleby. "Wouldn't have disturbed you, only it's
  • something important. I'll climb in through here, shall I? No need to
  • unlock the door." And, greatly to Mr. Wain's surprise and rather to
  • his disapproval, Mr. Appleby vaulted on to the window-sill, and
  • squeezed through into the room.
  • CHAPTER XXIV
  • CAUGHT
  • "Got some rather bad news for you, I'm afraid," began Mr. Appleby.
  • "I'll smoke, if you don't mind. About Wyatt."
  • "James!"
  • "I was sitting in my garden a few minutes ago, having a pipe before
  • finishing the rest of my papers, and Wyatt dropped from the wall on to
  • my herbaceous border."
  • Mr. Appleby said this with a tinge of bitterness. The thing still
  • rankled.
  • "James! In your garden! Impossible. Why, it is not a quarter of an
  • hour since I left him in his dormitory."
  • "He's not there now."
  • "You astound me, Appleby. I am astonished."
  • "So was I."
  • "How is such a thing possible? His window is heavily barred."
  • "Bars can be removed."
  • "You must have been mistaken."
  • "Possibly," said Mr. Appleby, a little nettled. Gaping astonishment is
  • always apt to be irritating. "Let's leave it at that, then. Sorry to
  • have disturbed you."
  • "No, sit down, Appleby. Dear me, this is most extraordinary.
  • Exceedingly so. You are certain it was James?"
  • "Perfectly. It's like daylight out of doors."
  • Mr. Wain drummed on the table with his fingers.
  • "What shall I do?"
  • Mr. Appleby offered no suggestion.
  • "I ought to report it to the headmaster. That is certainly the course
  • I should pursue."
  • "I don't see why. It isn't like an ordinary case. You're the parent.
  • You can deal with the thing directly. If you come to think of it, a
  • headmaster's only a sort of middleman between boys and parents. He
  • plays substitute for the parent in his absence. I don't see why you
  • should drag in the master at all here."
  • "There is certainly something in what you say," said Mr. Wain on
  • reflection.
  • "A good deal. Tackle the boy when he comes in, and have it out with
  • him. Remember that it must mean expulsion if you report him to the
  • headmaster. He would have no choice. Everybody who has ever broken out
  • of his house here and been caught has been expelled. I should strongly
  • advise you to deal with the thing yourself."
  • "I will. Yes. You are quite right, Appleby. That is a very good idea
  • of yours. You are not going?"
  • "Must. Got a pile of examination papers to look over. Good-night."
  • "Good-night."
  • Mr. Appleby made his way out of the window and through the gate into
  • his own territory in a pensive frame of mind. He was wondering what
  • would happen. He had taken the only possible course, and, if only Wain
  • kept his head and did not let the matter get through officially to the
  • headmaster, things might not be so bad for Wyatt after all. He hoped
  • they would not. He liked Wyatt. It would be a thousand pities, he
  • felt, if he were to be expelled. What would Wain do? What would
  • _he_ do in a similar case? It was difficult to say. Probably talk
  • violently for as long as he could keep it up, and then consider the
  • episode closed. He doubted whether Wain would have the common sense to
  • do this. Altogether it was very painful and disturbing, and he was
  • taking a rather gloomy view of the assistant master's lot as he sat
  • down to finish off the rest of his examination papers. It was not all
  • roses, the life of an assistant master at a public school. He had
  • continually to be sinking his own individual sympathies in the claims
  • of his duty. Mr. Appleby was the last man who would willingly have
  • reported a boy for enjoying a midnight ramble. But he was the last man
  • to shirk the duty of reporting him, merely because it was one
  • decidedly not to his taste.
  • Mr. Wain sat on for some minutes after his companion had left,
  • pondering over the news he had heard. Even now he clung to the idea
  • that Appleby had made some extraordinary mistake. Gradually he began
  • to convince himself of this. He had seen Wyatt actually in bed a
  • quarter of an hour before--not asleep, it was true, but apparently on
  • the verge of dropping off. And the bars across the window had looked
  • so solid.... Could Appleby have been dreaming? Something of the kind
  • might easily have happened. He had been working hard, and the night
  • was warm....
  • Then it occurred to him that he could easily prove or disprove the
  • truth of his colleague's statement by going to the dormitory and
  • seeing if Wyatt were there or not. If he had gone out, he would hardly
  • have returned yet.
  • He took a candle, and walked quietly upstairs.
  • Arrived at his step-son's dormitory, he turned the door-handle softly
  • and went in. The light of the candle fell on both beds. Mike was
  • there, asleep. He grunted, and turned over with his face to the wall
  • as the light shone on his eyes. But the other bed was empty. Appleby
  • had been right.
  • If further proof had been needed, one of the bars was missing from the
  • window. The moon shone in through the empty space.
  • The house-master sat down quietly on the vacant bed. He blew the
  • candle out, and waited there in the semi-darkness, thinking. For years
  • he and Wyatt had lived in a state of armed neutrality, broken by
  • various small encounters. Lately, by silent but mutual agreement, they
  • had kept out of each other's way as much as possible, and it had
  • become rare for the house-master to have to find fault officially with
  • his step-son. But there had never been anything even remotely
  • approaching friendship between them. Mr. Wain was not a man who
  • inspired affection readily, least of all in those many years younger
  • than himself. Nor did he easily grow fond of others. Wyatt he had
  • regarded, from the moment when the threads of their lives became
  • entangled, as a complete nuisance.
  • It was not, therefore, a sorrowful, so much as an exasperated, vigil
  • that he kept in the dormitory. There was nothing of the sorrowing
  • father about his frame of mind. He was the house-master about to deal
  • with a mutineer, and nothing else.
  • This breaking-out, he reflected wrathfully, was the last straw.
  • Wyatt's presence had been a nervous inconvenience to him for years.
  • The time had come to put an end to it. It was with a comfortable
  • feeling of magnanimity that he resolved not to report the breach of
  • discipline to the headmaster. Wyatt should not be expelled. But he
  • should leave, and that immediately. He would write to the bank before
  • he went to bed, asking them to receive his step-son at once; and the
  • letter should go by the first post next day. The discipline of the
  • bank would be salutary and steadying. And--this was a particularly
  • grateful reflection--a fortnight annually was the limit of the holiday
  • allowed by the management to its junior employees.
  • Mr. Wain had arrived at this conclusion, and was beginning to feel a
  • little cramped, when Mike Jackson suddenly sat up.
  • "Hullo!" said Mike.
  • "Go to sleep, Jackson, immediately," snapped the house-master.
  • Mike had often heard and read of people's hearts leaping to their
  • mouths, but he had never before experienced that sensation of
  • something hot and dry springing in the throat, which is what really
  • happens to us on receipt of a bad shock. A sickening feeling that the
  • game was up beyond all hope of salvation came to him. He lay down
  • again without a word.
  • What a frightful thing to happen! How on earth had this come about?
  • What in the world had brought Wain to the dormitory at that hour? Poor
  • old Wyatt! If it had upset _him_ (Mike) to see the house-master
  • in the room, what would be the effect of such a sight on Wyatt,
  • returning from the revels at Neville-Smith's!
  • And what could he do? Nothing. There was literally no way out. His
  • mind went back to the night when he had saved Wyatt by a brilliant
  • _coup_. The most brilliant of _coups_ could effect nothing now.
  • Absolutely and entirely the game was up.
  • * * * * *
  • Every minute that passed seemed like an hour to Mike. Dead silence
  • reigned in the dormitory, broken every now and then by the creak of
  • the other bed, as the house-master shifted his position. Twelve boomed
  • across the field from the school clock. Mike could not help thinking
  • what a perfect night it must be for him to be able to hear the strokes
  • so plainly. He strained his ears for any indication of Wyatt's
  • approach, but could hear nothing. Then a very faint scraping noise
  • broke the stillness, and presently the patch of moonlight on the floor
  • was darkened.
  • At that moment Mr. Wain relit his candle.
  • The unexpected glare took Wyatt momentarily aback. Mike saw him start.
  • Then he seemed to recover himself. In a calm and leisurely manner he
  • climbed into the room.
  • "James!" said Mr. Wain. His voice sounded ominously hollow.
  • Wyatt dusted his knees, and rubbed his hands together. "Hullo, is that
  • you, father!" he said pleasantly.
  • CHAPTER XXV
  • MARCHING ORDERS
  • A silence followed. To Mike, lying in bed, holding his breath, it
  • seemed a long silence. As a matter of fact it lasted for perhaps ten
  • seconds. Then Mr. Wain spoke.
  • "You have been out, James?"
  • It is curious how in the more dramatic moments of life the inane
  • remark is the first that comes to us.
  • "Yes, sir," said Wyatt.
  • "I am astonished. Exceedingly astonished."
  • "I got a bit of a start myself," said Wyatt.
  • "I shall talk to you in my study. Follow me there."
  • "Yes, sir."
  • He left the room, and Wyatt suddenly began to chuckle.
  • "I say, Wyatt!" said Mike, completely thrown off his balance by the
  • events of the night.
  • Wyatt continued to giggle helplessly. He flung himself down on his
  • bed, rolling with laughter. Mike began to get alarmed.
  • "It's all right," said Wyatt at last, speaking with difficulty. "But,
  • I say, how long had he been sitting there?"
  • "It seemed hours. About an hour, I suppose, really."
  • "It's the funniest thing I've ever struck. Me sweating to get in
  • quietly, and all the time him camping out on my bed!"
  • "But look here, what'll happen?"
  • Wyatt sat up.
  • "That reminds me. Suppose I'd better go down."
  • "What'll he do, do you think?"
  • "Ah, now, what!"
  • "But, I say, it's awful. What'll happen?"
  • "That's for him to decide. Speaking at a venture, I should say----"
  • "You don't think----?"
  • "The boot. The swift and sudden boot. I shall be sorry to part with
  • you, but I'm afraid it's a case of 'Au revoir, my little Hyacinth.' We
  • shall meet at Philippi. This is my Moscow. To-morrow I shall go out
  • into the night with one long, choking sob. Years hence a white-haired
  • bank-clerk will tap at your door when you're a prosperous professional
  • cricketer with your photograph in _Wisden_. That'll be me. Well,
  • I suppose I'd better go down. We'd better all get to bed _some_
  • time to-night. Don't go to sleep."
  • "Not likely."
  • "I'll tell you all the latest news when I come back. Where are me
  • slippers? Ha, 'tis well! Lead on, then, minions. I follow."
  • * * * * *
  • In the study Mr. Wain was fumbling restlessly with his papers when
  • Wyatt appeared.
  • "Sit down, James," he said.
  • Wyatt sat down. One of his slippers fell off with a clatter. Mr. Wain
  • jumped nervously.
  • "Only my slipper," explained Wyatt. "It slipped."
  • Mr. Wain took up a pen, and began to tap the table.
  • "Well, James?"
  • Wyatt said nothing.
  • "I should be glad to hear your explanation of this disgraceful
  • matter."
  • "The fact is----" said Wyatt.
  • "Well?"
  • "I haven't one, sir."
  • "What were you doing out of your dormitory, out of the house, at that
  • hour?"
  • "I went for a walk, sir."
  • "And, may I inquire, are you in the habit of violating the strictest
  • school rules by absenting yourself from the house during the night?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "What?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "This is an exceedingly serious matter."
  • Wyatt nodded agreement with this view.
  • "Exceedingly."
  • The pen rose and fell with the rapidity of the cylinder of a
  • motor-car. Wyatt, watching it, became suddenly aware that the
  • thing was hypnotising him. In a minute or two he would be asleep.
  • "I wish you wouldn't do that, father. Tap like that, I mean. It's
  • sending me to sleep."
  • "James!"
  • "It's like a woodpecker."
  • "Studied impertinence----"
  • "I'm very sorry. Only it _was_ sending me off."
  • Mr. Wain suspended tapping operations, and resumed the thread of his
  • discourse.
  • "I am sorry, exceedingly, to see this attitude in you, James. It is
  • not fitting. It is in keeping with your behaviour throughout. Your
  • conduct has been lax and reckless in the extreme. It is possible that
  • you imagine that the peculiar circumstances of our relationship secure
  • you from the penalties to which the ordinary boy----"
  • "No, sir."
  • "I need hardly say," continued Mr. Wain, ignoring the interruption,
  • "that I shall treat you exactly as I should treat any other member of
  • my house whom I had detected in the same misdemeanour."
  • "Of course," said Wyatt, approvingly.
  • "I must ask you not to interrupt me when I am speaking to you, James.
  • I say that your punishment will be no whit less severe than would be
  • that of any other boy. You have repeatedly proved yourself lacking in
  • ballast and a respect for discipline in smaller ways, but this is a
  • far more serious matter. Exceedingly so. It is impossible for me to
  • overlook it, even were I disposed to do so. You are aware of the
  • penalty for such an action as yours?"
  • "The sack," said Wyatt laconically.
  • "It is expulsion. You must leave the school. At once."
  • Wyatt nodded.
  • "As you know, I have already secured a nomination for you in the
  • London and Oriental Bank. I shall write to-morrow to the manager
  • asking him to receive you at once----"
  • "After all, they only gain an extra fortnight of me."
  • "You will leave directly I receive his letter. I shall arrange with
  • the headmaster that you are withdrawn privately----"
  • "_Not_ the sack?"
  • "Withdrawn privately. You will not go to school to-morrow. Do you
  • understand? That is all. Have you anything to say?"
  • Wyatt reflected.
  • "No, I don't think----"
  • His eye fell on a tray bearing a decanter and a syphon.
  • "Oh, yes," he said. "Can't I mix you a whisky and soda, father, before
  • I go off to bed?"
  • * * * * *
  • "Well?" said Mike.
  • Wyatt kicked off his slippers, and began to undress.
  • "What happened?"
  • "We chatted."
  • "Has he let you off?"
  • "Like a gun. I shoot off almost immediately. To-morrow I take a
  • well-earned rest away from school, and the day after I become the
  • gay young bank-clerk, all amongst the ink and ledgers."
  • Mike was miserably silent.
  • "Buck up," said Wyatt cheerfully. "It would have happened anyhow in
  • another fortnight. So why worry?"
  • Mike was still silent. The reflection was doubtless philosophic, but
  • it failed to comfort him.
  • CHAPTER XXVI
  • THE AFTERMATH
  • Bad news spreads quickly. By the quarter to eleven interval next day
  • the facts concerning Wyatt and Mr. Wain were public property. Mike, as
  • an actual spectator of the drama, was in great request as an
  • informant. As he told the story to a group of sympathisers outside the
  • school shop, Burgess came up, his eyes rolling in a fine frenzy.
  • "Anybody seen young--oh, here you are. What's all this about Jimmy
  • Wyatt? They're saying he's been sacked, or some rot."
  • [Illustration: "WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT JIMMY WYATT?"]
  • "So he has--at least, he's got to leave."
  • "What? When?"
  • "He's left already. He isn't coming to school again."
  • Burgess's first thought, as befitted a good cricket captain, was for
  • his team.
  • "And the Ripton match on Saturday!"
  • Nobody seemed to have anything except silent sympathy at his command.
  • "Dash the man! Silly ass! What did he want to do it for! Poor old
  • Jimmy, though!" he added after a pause. "What rot for him!"
  • "Beastly," agreed Mike.
  • "All the same," continued Burgess, with a return to the austere manner
  • of the captain of cricket, "he might have chucked playing the goat
  • till after the Ripton match. Look here, young Jackson, you'll turn out
  • for fielding with the first this afternoon. You'll play on Saturday."
  • "All right," said Mike, without enthusiasm. The Wyatt disaster was too
  • recent for him to feel much pleasure at playing against Ripton
  • _vice_ his friend, withdrawn.
  • Bob was the next to interview him. They met in the cloisters.
  • "Hullo, Mike!" said Bob. "I say, what's all this about Wyatt?"
  • "Wain caught him getting back into the dorm. last night after
  • Neville-Smith's, and he's taken him away from the school."
  • "What's he going to do? Going into that bank straight away?"
  • "Yes. You know, that's the part he bars most. He'd have been leaving
  • anyhow in a fortnight, you see; only it's awful rot for a chap like
  • Wyatt to have to go and froust in a bank for the rest of his life."
  • "He'll find it rather a change, I expect. I suppose you won't be
  • seeing him before he goes?"
  • "I shouldn't think so. Not unless he comes to the dorm. during the
  • night. He's sleeping over in Wain's part of the house, but I shouldn't
  • be surprised if he nipped out after Wain has gone to bed. Hope he
  • does, anyway."
  • "I should like to say good-bye. But I don't suppose it'll be
  • possible."
  • They separated in the direction of their respective form-rooms. Mike
  • felt bitter and disappointed at the way the news had been received.
  • Wyatt was his best friend, his pal; and it offended him that the
  • school should take the tidings of his departure as they had done. Most
  • of them who had come to him for information had expressed a sort of
  • sympathy with the absent hero of his story, but the chief sensation
  • seemed to be one of pleasurable excitement at the fact that something
  • big had happened to break the monotony of school routine. They treated
  • the thing much as they would have treated the announcement that a
  • record score had been made in first-class cricket. The school was not
  • so much regretful as comfortably thrilled. And Burgess had actually
  • cursed before sympathising. Mike felt resentful towards Burgess. As a
  • matter of fact, the cricket captain wrote a letter to Wyatt during
  • preparation that night which would have satisfied even Mike's sense of
  • what was fit. But Mike had no opportunity of learning this.
  • There was, however, one exception to the general rule, one member of
  • the school who did not treat the episode as if it were merely an
  • interesting and impersonal item of sensational news. Neville-Smith
  • heard of what had happened towards the end of the interval, and rushed
  • off instantly in search of Mike. He was too late to catch him before
  • he went to his form-room, so he waited for him at half-past twelve,
  • when the bell rang for the end of morning school.
  • "I say, Jackson, is this true about old Wyatt?"
  • Mike nodded.
  • "What happened?"
  • Mike related the story for the sixteenth time. It was a melancholy
  • pleasure to have found a listener who heard the tale in the right
  • spirit. There was no doubt about Neville-Smith's interest and
  • sympathy. He was silent for a moment after Mike had finished.
  • "It was all my fault," he said at length. "If it hadn't been for me,
  • this wouldn't have happened. What a fool I was to ask him to my place!
  • I might have known he would be caught."
  • "Oh, I don't know," said Mike.
  • "It was absolutely my fault."
  • Mike was not equal to the task of soothing Neville-Smith's wounded
  • conscience. He did not attempt it. They walked on without further
  • conversation till they reached Wain's gate, where Mike left him.
  • Neville-Smith proceeded on his way, plunged in meditation.
  • The result of which meditation was that Burgess got a second shock
  • before the day was out. Bob, going over to the nets rather late in the
  • afternoon, came upon the captain of cricket standing apart from his
  • fellow men with an expression on his face that spoke of mental
  • upheavals on a vast scale.
  • "What's up?" asked Bob.
  • "Nothing much," said Burgess, with a forced and grisly calm. "Only
  • that, as far as I can see, we shall play Ripton on Saturday with a
  • sort of second eleven. You don't happen to have got sacked or
  • anything, by the way, do you?"
  • "What's happened now?"
  • "Neville-Smith. In extra on Saturday. That's all. Only our first- and
  • second-change bowlers out of the team for the Ripton match in one day.
  • I suppose by to-morrow half the others'll have gone, and we shall take
  • the field on Saturday with a scratch side of kids from the Junior
  • School."
  • "Neville-Smith! Why, what's he been doing?"
  • "Apparently he gave a sort of supper to celebrate his getting his
  • first, and it was while coming back from that that Wyatt got collared.
  • Well, I'm blowed if Neville-Smith doesn't toddle off to the Old Man
  • after school to-day and tell him the whole yarn! Said it was all his
  • fault. What rot! Sort of thing that might have happened to any one. If
  • Wyatt hadn't gone to him, he'd probably have gone out somewhere else."
  • "And the Old Man shoved him in extra?"
  • "Next two Saturdays."
  • "Are Ripton strong this year?" asked Bob, for lack of anything better
  • to say.
  • "Very, from all accounts. They whacked the M.C.C. Jolly hot team of
  • M.C.C. too. Stronger than the one we drew with."
  • "Oh, well, you never know what's going to happen at cricket. I may
  • hold a catch for a change."
  • Burgess grunted.
  • Bob went on his way to the nets. Mike was just putting on his pads.
  • "I say, Mike," said Bob. "I wanted to see you. It's about Wyatt. I've
  • thought of something."
  • "What's that?"
  • "A way of getting him out of that bank. If it comes off, that's to
  • say."
  • "By Jove, he'd jump at anything. What's the idea?"
  • "Why shouldn't he get a job of sorts out in the Argentine? There ought
  • to be heaps of sound jobs going there for a chap like Wyatt. He's a
  • jolly good shot, to start with. I shouldn't wonder if it wasn't rather
  • a score to be able to shoot out there. And he can ride, I know."
  • "By Jove, I'll write to father to-night. He must be able to work it, I
  • should think. He never chucked the show altogether, did he?"
  • Mike, as most other boys of his age would have been, was profoundly
  • ignorant as to the details by which his father's money had been, or
  • was being, made. He only knew vaguely that the source of revenue had
  • something to do with the Argentine. His brother Joe had been born in
  • Buenos Ayres; and once, three years ago, his father had gone over
  • there for a visit, presumably on business. All these things seemed to
  • show that Mr. Jackson senior was a useful man to have about if you
  • wanted a job in that Eldorado, the Argentine Republic.
  • As a matter of fact, Mike's father owned vast tracts of land up
  • country, where countless sheep lived and had their being. He had long
  • retired from active superintendence of his estate. Like Mr. Spenlow,
  • he had a partner, a stout fellow with the work-taint highly developed,
  • who asked nothing better than to be left in charge. So Mr. Jackson had
  • returned to the home of his fathers, glad to be there again. But he
  • still had a decided voice in the ordering of affairs on the ranches,
  • and Mike was going to the fountain-head of things when he wrote to his
  • father that night, putting forward Wyatt's claims to attention and
  • ability to perform any sort of job with which he might be presented.
  • The reflection that he had done all that could be done tended to
  • console him for the non-appearance of Wyatt either that night or next
  • morning--a non-appearance which was due to the simple fact that he
  • passed that night in a bed in Mr. Wain's dressing-room, the door of
  • which that cautious pedagogue, who believed in taking no chances,
  • locked from the outside on retiring to rest.
  • CHAPTER XXVII
  • THE RIPTON MATCH
  • Mike got an answer from his father on the morning of the Ripton match.
  • A letter from Wyatt also lay on his plate when he came down to
  • breakfast.
  • Mr. Jackson's letter was short, but to the point. He said he would go
  • and see Wyatt early in the next week. He added that being expelled
  • from a public school was not the only qualification for success as a
  • sheep-farmer, but that, if Mike's friend added to this a general
  • intelligence and amiability, and a skill for picking off cats with an
  • air-pistol and bull's-eyes with a Lee-Enfield, there was no reason why
  • something should not be done for him. In any case he would buy him a
  • lunch, so that Wyatt would extract at least some profit from his
  • visit. He said that he hoped something could be managed. It was a pity
  • that a boy accustomed to shoot cats should be condemned for the rest
  • of his life to shoot nothing more exciting than his cuffs.
  • Wyatt's letter was longer. It might have been published under the
  • title "My First Day in a Bank, by a Beginner." His advent had
  • apparently caused little sensation. He had first had a brief
  • conversation with the manager, which had run as follows:
  • "Mr. Wyatt?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "H'm ... Sportsman?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "Cricketer?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "Play football?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "H'm ... Racquets?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "Everything?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "H'm ... Well, you won't get any more of it now."
  • After which a Mr. Blenkinsop had led him up to a vast ledger, in which
  • he was to inscribe the addresses of all out-going letters. These
  • letters he would then stamp, and subsequently take in bundles to the
  • post office. Once a week he would be required to buy stamps. "If I
  • were one of those Napoleons of Finance," wrote Wyatt, "I should cook
  • the accounts, I suppose, and embezzle stamps to an incredible amount.
  • But it doesn't seem in my line. I'm afraid I wasn't cut out for a
  • business career. Still, I have stamped this letter at the expense
  • of the office, and entered it up under the heading 'Sundries,' which
  • is a sort of start. Look out for an article in the _Wrykynian_,
  • 'Hints for Young Criminals, by J. Wyatt, champion catch-as-catch-can
  • stamp-stealer of the British Isles.' So long. I suppose you are
  • playing against Ripton, now that the world of commerce has found that
  • it can't get on without me. Mind you make a century, and then perhaps
  • Burgess'll give you your first after all. There were twelve colours
  • given three years ago, because one chap left at half-term and the man
  • who played instead of him came off against Ripton."
  • * * * * *
  • This had occurred to Mike independently. The Ripton match was a
  • special event, and the man who performed any outstanding feat against
  • that school was treated as a sort of Horatius. Honours were heaped
  • upon him. If he could only make a century! or even fifty. Even twenty,
  • if it got the school out of a tight place. He was as nervous on the
  • Saturday morning as he had been on the morning of the M.C.C. match. It
  • was Victory or Westminster Abbey now. To do only averagely well, to be
  • among the ruck, would be as useless as not playing at all, as far as
  • his chance of his first was concerned.
  • It was evident to those who woke early on the Saturday morning that
  • this Ripton match was not likely to end in a draw. During the Friday
  • rain had fallen almost incessantly in a steady drizzle. It had stopped
  • late at night; and at six in the morning there was every prospect of
  • another hot day. There was that feeling in the air which shows that
  • the sun is trying to get through the clouds. The sky was a dull grey
  • at breakfast time, except where a flush of deeper colour gave a hint
  • of the sun. It was a day on which to win the toss, and go in first. At
  • eleven-thirty, when the match was timed to begin, the wicket would be
  • too wet to be difficult. Runs would come easily till the sun came out
  • and began to dry the ground. When that happened there would be trouble
  • for the side that was batting.
  • Burgess, inspecting the wicket with Mr. Spence during the quarter to
  • eleven interval, was not slow to recognise this fact.
  • "I should win the toss to-day, if I were you, Burgess," said Mr.
  • Spence.
  • "Just what I was thinking, sir."
  • "That wicket's going to get nasty after lunch, if the sun comes out. A
  • regular Rhodes wicket it's going to be."
  • "I wish we _had_ Rhodes," said Burgess. "Or even Wyatt. It would
  • just suit him, this."
  • Mr. Spence, as a member of the staff, was not going to be drawn into
  • discussing Wyatt and his premature departure, so he diverted the
  • conversation on to the subject of the general aspect of the school's
  • attack.
  • "Who will go on first with you, Burgess?"
  • "Who do you think, sir? Ellerby? It might be his wicket."
  • Ellerby bowled medium inclining to slow. On a pitch that suited him he
  • was apt to turn from leg and get people out caught at the wicket or
  • short slip.
  • "Certainly, Ellerby. This end, I think. The other's yours, though I'm
  • afraid you'll have a poor time bowling fast to-day. Even with plenty
  • of sawdust I doubt if it will be possible to get a decent foothold
  • till after lunch."
  • "I must win the toss," said Burgess. "It's a nuisance too, about our
  • batting. Marsh will probably be dead out of form after being in the
  • Infirmary so long. If he'd had a chance of getting a bit of practice
  • yesterday, it might have been all right."
  • "That rain will have a lot to answer for if we lose. On a dry, hard
  • wicket I'm certain we should beat them four times out of six. I was
  • talking to a man who played against them for the Nomads. He said that
  • on a true wicket there was not a great deal of sting in their bowling,
  • but that they've got a slow leg-break man who might be dangerous on a
  • day like this. A boy called de Freece. I don't know of him. He wasn't
  • in the team last year."
  • "I know the chap. He played wing three for them at footer against us
  • this year on their ground. He was crocked when they came here. He's a
  • pretty useful chap all round, I believe. Plays racquets for them too."
  • "Well, my friend said he had one very dangerous ball, of the Bosanquet
  • type. Looks as if it were going away, and comes in instead."
  • "I don't think a lot of that," said Burgess ruefully. "One consolation
  • is, though, that that sort of ball is easier to watch on a slow
  • wicket. I must tell the fellows to look out for it."
  • "I should. And, above all, win the toss."
  • * * * * *
  • Burgess and Maclaine, the Ripton captain, were old acquaintances. They
  • had been at the same private school, and they had played against one
  • another at football and cricket for two years now.
  • "We'll go in first, Mac," said Burgess, as they met on the pavilion
  • steps after they had changed.
  • "It's awfully good of you to suggest it," said Maclaine. "but I think
  • we'll toss. It's a hobby of mine. You call."
  • "Heads."
  • "Tails it is. I ought to have warned you that you hadn't a chance.
  • I've lost the toss five times running, so I was bound to win to-day."
  • "You'll put us in, I suppose?"
  • "Yes--after us."
  • "Oh, well, we sha'n't have long to wait for our knock, that's a
  • comfort. Buck up and send some one in, and let's get at you."
  • And Burgess went off to tell the ground-man to have plenty of sawdust
  • ready, as he would want the field paved with it.
  • * * * * *
  • The policy of the Ripton team was obvious from the first over. They
  • meant to force the game. Already the sun was beginning to peep through
  • the haze. For about an hour run-getting ought to be a tolerably simple
  • process; but after that hour singles would be as valuable as threes
  • and boundaries an almost unheard-of luxury.
  • So Ripton went in to hit.
  • The policy proved successful for a time, as it generally does.
  • Burgess, who relied on a run that was a series of tiger-like leaps
  • culminating in a spring that suggested that he meant to lower the long
  • jump record, found himself badly handicapped by the state of the
  • ground. In spite of frequent libations of sawdust, he was compelled to
  • tread cautiously, and this robbed his bowling of much of its pace. The
  • score mounted rapidly. Twenty came in ten minutes. At thirty-five the
  • first wicket fell, run out.
  • At sixty Ellerby, who had found the pitch too soft for him and had
  • been expensive, gave place to Grant. Grant bowled what were supposed
  • to be slow leg-breaks, but which did not always break. The change
  • worked.
  • Maclaine, after hitting the first two balls to the boundary, skied the
  • third to Bob Jackson in the deep, and Bob, for whom constant practice
  • had robbed this sort of catch of its terrors, held it.
  • A yorker from Burgess disposed of the next man before he could settle
  • down; but the score, seventy-four for three wickets, was large enough
  • in view of the fact that the pitch was already becoming more
  • difficult, and was certain to get worse, to make Ripton feel that the
  • advantage was with them. Another hour of play remained before lunch.
  • The deterioration of the wicket would be slow during that period. The
  • sun, which was now shining brightly, would put in its deadliest work
  • from two o'clock onwards. Maclaine's instructions to his men were to
  • go on hitting.
  • A too liberal interpretation of the meaning of the verb "to hit" led
  • to the departure of two more Riptonians in the course of the next two
  • overs. There is a certain type of school batsman who considers that to
  • force the game means to swipe blindly at every ball on the chance of
  • taking it half-volley. This policy sometimes leads to a boundary or
  • two, as it did on this occasion, but it means that wickets will fall,
  • as also happened now. Seventy-four for three became eighty-six for
  • five. Burgess began to look happier.
  • His contentment increased when he got the next man leg-before-wicket
  • with the total unaltered. At this rate Ripton would be out before
  • lunch for under a hundred.
  • But the rot stopped with the fall of that wicket. Dashing tactics were
  • laid aside. The pitch had begun to play tricks, and the pair now in
  • settled down to watch the ball. They plodded on, scoring slowly and
  • jerkily till the hands of the clock stood at half-past one. Then
  • Ellerby, who had gone on again instead of Grant, beat the less steady
  • of the pair with a ball that pitched on the middle stump and shot into
  • the base of the off. A hundred and twenty had gone up on the board at
  • the beginning of the over.
  • That period which is always so dangerous, when the wicket is bad, the
  • ten minutes before lunch, proved fatal to two more of the enemy. The
  • last man had just gone to the wickets, with the score at a hundred and
  • thirty-one, when a quarter to two arrived, and with it the luncheon
  • interval.
  • So far it was anybody's game.
  • CHAPTER XXVIII
  • MIKE WINS HOME
  • The Ripton last-wicket man was de Freece, the slow bowler. He was
  • apparently a young gentleman wholly free from the curse of
  • nervousness. He wore a cheerful smile as he took guard before
  • receiving the first ball after lunch, and Wrykyn had plenty of
  • opportunity of seeing that that was his normal expression when at the
  • wickets. There is often a certain looseness about the attack after
  • lunch, and the bowler of googlies took advantage of it now. He seemed
  • to be a batsman with only one hit; but he had also a very accurate
  • eye, and his one hit, a semicircular stroke, which suggested the golf
  • links rather than the cricket field, came off with distressing
  • frequency. He mowed Burgess's first ball to the square-leg boundary,
  • missed his second, and snicked the third for three over long-slip's
  • head. The other batsman played out the over, and de Freece proceeded
  • to treat Ellerby's bowling with equal familiarity. The scoring-board
  • showed an increase of twenty as the result of three overs. Every
  • run was invaluable now, and the Ripton contingent made the pavilion
  • re-echo as a fluky shot over mid-on's head sent up the hundred and
  • fifty.
  • There are few things more exasperating to the fielding side than a
  • last-wicket stand. It resembles in its effect the dragging-out of a
  • book or play after the _dénouement_ has been reached. At the fall
  • of the ninth wicket the fieldsmen nearly always look on their outing
  • as finished. Just a ball or two to the last man, and it will be their
  • turn to bat. If the last man insists on keeping them out in the field,
  • they resent it.
  • What made it especially irritating now was the knowledge that a
  • straight yorker would solve the whole thing. But when Burgess bowled a
  • yorker, it was not straight. And when he bowled a straight ball, it
  • was not a yorker. A four and a three to de Freece, and a four bye sent
  • up a hundred and sixty.
  • It was beginning to look as if this might go on for ever, when
  • Ellerby, who had been missing the stumps by fractions of an inch,
  • for the last ten minutes, did what Burgess had failed to do. He
  • bowled a straight, medium-paced yorker, and de Freece, swiping at it
  • with a bright smile, found his leg-stump knocked back. He had made
  • twenty-eight. His record score, he explained to Mike, as they walked
  • to the pavilion, for this or any ground.
  • The Ripton total was a hundred and sixty-six.
  • * * * * *
  • With the ground in its usual true, hard condition, Wrykyn would have
  • gone in against a score of a hundred and sixty-six with the cheery
  • intention of knocking off the runs for the loss of two or three
  • wickets. It would have been a gentle canter for them.
  • But ordinary standards would not apply here. On a good wicket Wrykyn
  • that season were a two hundred and fifty to three hundred side. On a
  • bad wicket--well, they had met the Incogniti on a bad wicket, and
  • their total--with Wyatt playing and making top score--had worked out
  • at a hundred and seven.
  • A grim determination to do their best, rather than confidence that
  • their best, when done, would be anything record-breaking, was the
  • spirit which animated the team when they opened their innings.
  • And in five minutes this had changed to a dull gloom.
  • The tragedy started with the very first ball. It hardly seemed that
  • the innings had begun, when Morris was seen to leave the crease, and
  • make for the pavilion.
  • "It's that googly man," said Burgess blankly.
  • "What's happened?" shouted a voice from the interior of the first
  • eleven room.
  • "Morris is out."
  • "Good gracious! How?" asked Ellerby, emerging from the room with one
  • pad on his leg and the other in his hand.
  • "L.-b.-w. First ball."
  • "My aunt! Who's in next? Not me?"
  • "No. Berridge. For goodness sake, Berry, stick a bat in the way, and
  • not your legs. Watch that de Freece man like a hawk. He breaks like
  • sin all over the shop. Hullo, Morris! Bad luck! Were you out, do you
  • think?" A batsman who has been given l.-b.-w. is always asked this
  • question on his return to the pavilion, and he answers it in nine
  • cases out of ten in the negative. Morris was the tenth case. He
  • thought it was all right, he said.
  • "Thought the thing was going to break, but it didn't."
  • "Hear that, Berry? He doesn't always break. You must look out for
  • that," said Burgess helpfully. Morris sat down and began to take off
  • his pads.
  • "That chap'll have Berry, if he doesn't look out," he said.
  • But Berridge survived the ordeal. He turned his first ball to leg for
  • a single.
  • This brought Marsh to the batting end; and the second tragedy
  • occurred.
  • It was evident from the way he shaped that Marsh was short of
  • practice. His visit to the Infirmary had taken the edge off his
  • batting. He scratched awkwardly at three balls without hitting them.
  • The last of the over had him in two minds. He started to play forward,
  • changed his stroke suddenly and tried to step back, and the next
  • moment the bails had shot up like the _débris_ of a small
  • explosion, and the wicket-keeper was clapping his gloved hands gently
  • and slowly in the introspective, dreamy way wicket-keepers have on
  • these occasions.
  • A silence that could be felt brooded over the pavilion.
  • The voice of the scorer, addressing from his little wooden hut the
  • melancholy youth who was working the telegraph-board, broke it.
  • "One for two. Last man duck."
  • Ellerby echoed the remark. He got up, and took off his blazer.
  • "This is all right," he said, "isn't it! I wonder if the man at the
  • other end is a sort of young Rhodes too!"
  • Fortunately he was not. The star of the Ripton attack was evidently de
  • Freece. The bowler at the other end looked fairly plain. He sent them
  • down medium-pace, and on a good wicket would probably have been
  • simple. But to-day there was danger in the most guileless-looking
  • deliveries.
  • Berridge relieved the tension a little by playing safely through the
  • over, and scoring a couple of twos off it. And when Ellerby not only
  • survived the destructive de Freece's second over, but actually lifted
  • a loose ball on to the roof of the scoring-hut, the cloud began
  • perceptibly to lift. A no-ball in the same over sent up the first ten.
  • Ten for two was not good; but it was considerably better than one for
  • two.
  • With the score at thirty, Ellerby was missed in the slips off de
  • Freece. He had been playing with slowly increasing confidence till
  • then, but this seemed to throw him out of his stride. He played inside
  • the next ball, and was all but bowled: and then, jumping out to drive,
  • he was smartly stumped. The cloud began to settle again.
  • Bob was the next man in.
  • Ellerby took off his pads, and dropped into the chair next to Mike's.
  • Mike was silent and thoughtful. He was in after Bob, and to be on the
  • eve of batting does not make one conversational.
  • "You in next?" asked Ellerby.
  • Mike nodded.
  • "It's getting trickier every minute," said Ellerby. "The only thing
  • is, if we can only stay in, we might have a chance. The wicket'll get
  • better, and I don't believe they've any bowling at all bar de Freece.
  • By George, Bob's out!... No, he isn't."
  • Bob had jumped out at one of de Freece's slows, as Ellerby had done,
  • and had nearly met the same fate. The wicket-keeper, however, had
  • fumbled the ball.
  • "That's the way I was had," said Ellerby. "That man's keeping such a
  • jolly good length that you don't know whether to stay in your ground
  • or go out at them. If only somebody would knock him off his length, I
  • believe we might win yet."
  • The same idea apparently occurred to Burgess. He came to where Mike
  • was sitting.
  • "I'm going to shove you down one, Jackson," he said. "I shall go in
  • next myself and swipe, and try and knock that man de Freece off."
  • "All right," said Mike. He was not quite sure whether he was glad or
  • sorry at the respite.
  • "It's a pity old Wyatt isn't here," said Ellerby. "This is just the
  • sort of time when he might have come off."
  • "Bob's broken his egg," said Mike.
  • "Good man. Every little helps.... Oh, you silly ass, get _back_!"
  • Berridge had called Bob for a short run that was obviously no run.
  • Third man was returning the ball as the batsmen crossed. The next
  • moment the wicket-keeper had the bails off. Berridge was out by a
  • yard.
  • "Forty-one for four," said Ellerby. "Help!"
  • Burgess began his campaign against de Freece by skying his first
  • ball over cover's head to the boundary. A howl of delight went up
  • from the school, which was repeated, _fortissimo_, when, more
  • by accident than by accurate timing, the captain put on two more
  • fours past extra-cover. The bowler's cheerful smile never varied.
  • Whether Burgess would have knocked de Freece off his length or not was
  • a question that was destined to remain unsolved, for in the middle of
  • the other bowler's over Bob hit a single; the batsmen crossed; and
  • Burgess had his leg-stump uprooted while trying a gigantic pull-stroke.
  • The melancholy youth put up the figures, 54, 5, 12, on the board.
  • Mike, as he walked out of the pavilion to join Bob, was not conscious
  • of any particular nervousness. It had been an ordeal having to wait
  • and look on while wickets fell, but now that the time of inaction was
  • at an end he felt curiously composed. When he had gone out to bat
  • against the M.C.C. on the occasion of his first appearance for the
  • school, he experienced a quaint sensation of unreality. He seemed to
  • be watching his body walking to the wickets, as if it were some one
  • else's. There was no sense of individuality.
  • But now his feelings were different. He was cool. He noticed small
  • things--mid-off chewing bits of grass, the bowler re-tying the scarf
  • round his waist, little patches of brown where the turf had been worn
  • away. He took guard with a clear picture of the positions of the
  • fieldsmen photographed on his brain.
  • Fitness, which in a batsman exhibits itself mainly in an increased
  • power of seeing the ball, is one of the most inexplicable things
  • connected with cricket. It has nothing, or very little, to do with
  • actual health. A man may come out of a sick-room with just that extra
  • quickness in sighting the ball that makes all the difference; or he
  • may be in perfect training and play inside straight half-volleys. Mike
  • would not have said that he felt more than ordinarily well that day.
  • Indeed, he was rather painfully conscious of having bolted his food at
  • lunch. But something seemed to whisper to him, as he settled himself
  • to face the bowler, that he was at the top of his batting form. A
  • difficult wicket always brought out his latent powers as a bat. It was
  • a standing mystery with the sporting Press how Joe Jackson managed to
  • collect fifties and sixties on wickets that completely upset men who
  • were, apparently, finer players. On days when the Olympians of the
  • cricket world were bringing their averages down with ducks and
  • singles, Joe would be in his element, watching the ball and pushing it
  • through the slips as if there were no such thing as a tricky wicket.
  • And Mike took after Joe.
  • A single off the fifth ball of the over opened his score and brought
  • him to the opposite end. Bob played ball number six back to the
  • bowler, and Mike took guard preparatory to facing de Freece.
  • The Ripton slow bowler took a long run, considering his pace. In the
  • early part of an innings he often trapped the batsmen in this way, by
  • leading them to expect a faster ball than he actually sent down. A
  • queer little jump in the middle of the run increased the difficulty of
  • watching him.
  • The smiting he had received from Burgess in the previous over had not
  • had the effect of knocking de Freece off his length. The ball was too
  • short to reach with comfort, and not short enough to take liberties
  • with. It pitched slightly to leg, and whipped in quickly. Mike had
  • faced half-left, and stepped back. The increased speed of the ball
  • after it had touched the ground beat him. The ball hit his right pad.
  • "'S that?" shouted mid-on. Mid-on has a habit of appealing for
  • l.-b.-w. in school matches.
  • De Freece said nothing. The Ripton bowler was as conscientious in the
  • matter of appeals as a good bowler should be. He had seen that the
  • ball had pitched off the leg-stump.
  • The umpire shook his head. Mid-on tried to look as if he had not
  • spoken.
  • Mike prepared himself for the next ball with a glow of confidence. He
  • felt that he knew where he was now. Till then he had not thought the
  • wicket was so fast. The two balls he had played at the other end had
  • told him nothing. They had been well pitched up, and he had smothered
  • them. He knew what to do now. He had played on wickets of this pace at
  • home against Saunders's bowling, and Saunders had shown him the right
  • way to cope with them.
  • The next ball was of the same length, but this time off the off-stump.
  • Mike jumped out, and hit it before it had time to break. It flew along
  • the ground through the gap between cover and extra-cover, a
  • comfortable three.
  • Bob played out the over with elaborate care.
  • Off the second ball of the other man's over Mike scored his first
  • boundary. It was a long-hop on the off. He banged it behind point to
  • the terrace-bank. The last ball of the over, a half-volley to leg, he
  • lifted over the other boundary.
  • "Sixty up," said Ellerby, in the pavilion, as the umpire signalled
  • another no-ball. "By George! I believe these chaps are going to knock
  • off the runs. Young Jackson looks as if he was in for a century."
  • "You ass," said Berridge. "Don't say that, or he's certain to get
  • out."
  • Berridge was one of those who are skilled in cricket superstitions.
  • But Mike did not get out. He took seven off de Freece's next over by
  • means of two cuts and a drive. And, with Bob still exhibiting a stolid
  • and rock-like defence, the score mounted to eighty, thence to ninety,
  • and so, mainly by singles, to a hundred.
  • At a hundred and four, when the wicket had put on exactly fifty, Bob
  • fell to a combination of de Freece and extra-cover. He had stuck like
  • a limpet for an hour and a quarter, and made twenty-one.
  • Mike watched him go with much the same feelings as those of a man who
  • turns away from the platform after seeing a friend off on a long
  • railway journey. His departure upset the scheme of things. For himself
  • he had no fear now. He might possibly get out off his next ball, but
  • he felt set enough to stay at the wickets till nightfall. He had had
  • narrow escapes from de Freece, but he was full of that conviction,
  • which comes to all batsmen on occasion, that this was his day. He had
  • made twenty-six, and the wicket was getting easier. He could feel the
  • sting going out of the bowling every over.
  • Henfrey, the next man in, was a promising rather than an effective
  • bat. He had an excellent style, but he was uncertain. (Two years
  • later, when he captained the Wrykyn teams, he made a lot of runs.) But
  • this season his batting had been spasmodic.
  • To-day he never looked like settling down. He survived an over from de
  • Freece, and hit a fast change bowler who had been put on at the other
  • end for a couple of fluky fours. Then Mike got the bowling for three
  • consecutive overs, and raised the score to a hundred and twenty-six. A
  • bye brought Henfrey to the batting end again, and de Freece's pet
  • googly, which had not been much in evidence hitherto, led to his
  • snicking an easy catch into short-slip's hands.
  • A hundred and twenty-seven for seven against a total of a hundred and
  • sixty-six gives the impression that the batting side has the
  • advantage. In the present case, however, it was Ripton who were really
  • in the better position. Apparently, Wrykyn had three more wickets to
  • fall. Practically they had only one, for neither Ashe, nor Grant, nor
  • Devenish had any pretensions to be considered batsmen. Ashe was the
  • school wicket-keeper. Grant and Devenish were bowlers. Between them
  • the three could not be relied on for a dozen in a decent match.
  • Mike watched Ashe shape with a sinking heart. The wicket-keeper looked
  • like a man who feels that his hour has come. Mike could see him
  • licking his lips. There was nervousness written all over him.
  • He was not kept long in suspense. De Freece's first ball made a
  • hideous wreck of his wicket.
  • "Over," said the umpire.
  • Mike felt that the school's one chance now lay in his keeping the
  • bowling. But how was he to do this? It suddenly occurred to him that
  • it was a delicate position that he was in. It was not often that he
  • was troubled by an inconvenient modesty, but this happened now. Grant
  • was a fellow he hardly knew, and a school prefect to boot. Could he go
  • up to him and explain that he, Jackson, did not consider him competent
  • to bat in this crisis? Would not this get about and be accounted to
  • him for side? He had made forty, but even so....
  • Fortunately Grant solved the problem on his own account. He came up to
  • Mike and spoke with an earnestness born of nerves. "For goodness
  • sake," he whispered, "collar the bowling all you know, or we're done.
  • I shall get outed first ball."
  • "All right," said Mike, and set his teeth. Forty to win! A large
  • order. But it was going to be done. His whole existence seemed to
  • concentrate itself on those forty runs.
  • The fast bowler, who was the last of several changes that had been
  • tried at the other end, was well-meaning but erratic. The wicket was
  • almost true again now, and it was possible to take liberties.
  • Mike took them.
  • A distant clapping from the pavilion, taken up a moment later all
  • round the ground, and echoed by the Ripton fieldsmen, announced that
  • he had reached his fifty.
  • The last ball of the over he mishit. It rolled in the direction of
  • third man.
  • "Come on," shouted Grant.
  • Mike and the ball arrived at the opposite wicket almost
  • simultaneously. Another fraction of a second, and he would have been
  • run out.
  • [Illustration: MIKE AND THE BALL ARRIVED ALMOST SIMULTANEOUSLY]
  • The last balls of the next two overs provided repetitions of this
  • performance. But each time luck was with him, and his bat was across
  • the crease before the bails were off. The telegraph-board showed a
  • hundred and fifty.
  • The next over was doubly sensational. The original medium-paced bowler
  • had gone on again in place of the fast man, and for the first five
  • balls he could not find his length. During those five balls Mike
  • raised the score to a hundred and sixty.
  • But the sixth was of a different kind. Faster than the rest and of a
  • perfect length, it all but got through Mike's defence. As it was, he
  • stopped it. But he did not score. The umpire called "Over!" and there
  • was Grant at the batting end, with de Freece smiling pleasantly as he
  • walked back to begin his run with the comfortable reflection that at
  • last he had got somebody except Mike to bowl at.
  • That over was an experience Mike never forgot.
  • Grant pursued the Fabian policy of keeping his bat almost immovable
  • and trusting to luck. Point and the slips crowded round. Mid-off and
  • mid-on moved half-way down the pitch. Grant looked embarrassed, but
  • determined. For four balls he baffled the attack, though once nearly
  • caught by point a yard from the wicket. The fifth curled round his
  • bat, and touched the off-stump. A bail fell silently to the ground.
  • Devenish came in to take the last ball of the over.
  • It was an awe-inspiring moment. A great stillness was over all the
  • ground. Mike's knees trembled. Devenish's face was a delicate grey.
  • The only person unmoved seemed to be de Freece. His smile was even
  • more amiable than usual as he began his run.
  • The next moment the crisis was past. The ball hit the very centre of
  • Devenish's bat, and rolled back down the pitch.
  • The school broke into one great howl of joy. There were still seven
  • runs between them and victory, but nobody appeared to recognise this
  • fact as important. Mike had got the bowling, and the bowling was not
  • de Freece's.
  • It seemed almost an anti-climax when a four to leg and two two's
  • through the slips settled the thing.
  • * * * * *
  • Devenish was caught and bowled in de Freece's next over; but the
  • Wrykyn total was one hundred and seventy-two.
  • * * * * *
  • "Good game," said Maclaine, meeting Burgess in the pavilion. "Who was
  • the man who made all the runs? How many, by the way?"
  • "Eighty-three. It was young Jackson. Brother of the other one."
  • "That family! How many more of them are you going to have here?"
  • "He's the last. I say, rough luck on de Freece. He bowled rippingly."
  • Politeness to a beaten foe caused Burgess to change his usual "not
  • bad."
  • "The funny part of it is," continued he, "that young Jackson was only
  • playing as a sub."
  • "You've got a rum idea of what's funny," said Maclaine.
  • CHAPTER XXIX
  • WYATT AGAIN
  • It was a morning in the middle of September. The Jacksons were
  • breakfasting. Mr. Jackson was reading letters. The rest, including
  • Gladys Maud, whose finely chiselled features were gradually
  • disappearing behind a mask of bread-and-milk, had settled down to
  • serious work. The usual catch-as-catch-can contest between Marjory and
  • Phyllis for the jam (referee and time-keeper, Mrs. Jackson) had
  • resulted, after both combatants had been cautioned by the referee, in
  • a victory for Marjory, who had duly secured the stakes. The hour being
  • nine-fifteen, and the official time for breakfast nine o'clock, Mike's
  • place was still empty.
  • "I've had a letter from MacPherson," said Mr. Jackson.
  • MacPherson was the vigorous and persevering gentleman, referred to in
  • a previous chapter, who kept a fatherly eye on the Buenos Ayres sheep.
  • "He seems very satisfied with Mike's friend Wyatt. At the moment of
  • writing Wyatt is apparently incapacitated owing to a bullet in the
  • shoulder, but expects to be fit again shortly. That young man seems to
  • make things fairly lively wherever he is. I don't wonder he found a
  • public school too restricted a sphere for his energies."
  • "Has he been fighting a duel?" asked Marjory, interested.
  • "Bushrangers," said Phyllis.
  • "There aren't any bushrangers in Buenos Ayres," said Ella.
  • "How do you know?" said Phyllis clinchingly.
  • "Bush-ray, bush-ray, bush-ray," began Gladys Maud, conversationally,
  • through the bread-and-milk; but was headed off.
  • "He gives no details. Perhaps that letter on Mike's plate supplies
  • them. I see it comes from Buenos Ayres."
  • "I wish Mike would come and open it," said Marjory. "Shall I go and
  • hurry him up?"
  • The missing member of the family entered as she spoke.
  • "Buck up, Mike," she shouted. "There's a letter from Wyatt. He's been
  • wounded in a duel."
  • "With a bushranger," added Phyllis.
  • "Bush-ray," explained Gladys Maud.
  • "Is there?" said Mike. "Sorry I'm late."
  • He opened the letter and began to read.
  • "What does he say?" inquired Marjory. "Who was the duel with?"
  • "How many bushrangers were there?" asked Phyllis.
  • Mike read on.
  • "Good old Wyatt! He's shot a man."
  • "Killed him?" asked Marjory excitedly.
  • "No. Only potted him in the leg. This is what he says. First page is
  • mostly about the Ripton match and so on. Here you are. 'I'm dictating
  • this to a sportsman of the name of Danvers, a good chap who can't help
  • being ugly, so excuse bad writing. The fact is we've been having a
  • bust-up here, and I've come out of it with a bullet in the shoulder,
  • which has crocked me for the time being. It happened like this. An
  • ass of a Gaucho had gone into the town and got jolly tight, and
  • coming back, he wanted to ride through our place. The old woman who
  • keeps the lodge wouldn't have it at any price. Gave him the absolute
  • miss-in-baulk. So this rotter, instead of shifting off, proceeded to
  • cut the fence, and go through that way. All the farms out here have
  • their boundaries marked by wire fences, and it is supposed to be a
  • deadly sin to cut these. Well, the lodge-keeper's son dashed off in
  • search of help. A chap called Chester, an Old Wykehamist, and I were
  • dipping sheep close by, so he came to us and told us what had happened.
  • We nipped on to a couple of horses, pulled out our revolvers, and
  • tooled after him. After a bit we overtook him, and that's when the
  • trouble began. The johnny had dismounted when we arrived. I thought
  • he was simply tightening his horse's girths. What he was really doing
  • was getting a steady aim at us with his revolver. He fired as we came
  • up, and dropped poor old Chester. I thought he was killed at first, but
  • it turned out it was only his leg. I got going then. I emptied all the
  • six chambers of my revolver, and missed him clean every time. In the
  • meantime he got me in the right shoulder. Hurt like sin afterwards,
  • though it was only a sort of dull shock at the moment. The next item
  • of the programme was a forward move in force on the part of the enemy.
  • The man had got his knife out now--why he didn't shoot again I don't
  • know--and toddled over in our direction to finish us off. Chester was
  • unconscious, and it was any money on the Gaucho, when I happened to
  • catch sight of Chester's pistol, which had fallen just by where I came
  • down. I picked it up, and loosed off. Missed the first shot, but got
  • him with the second in the ankle at about two yards; and his day's
  • work was done. That's the painful story. Danvers says he's getting
  • writer's cramp, so I shall have to stop....'"
  • "By Jove!" said Mike.
  • "What a dreadful thing!" said Mrs. Jackson.
  • "Anyhow, it was practically a bushranger," said Phyllis.
  • "I told you it was a duel, and so it was," said Marjory.
  • "What a terrible experience for the poor boy!" said Mrs. Jackson.
  • "Much better than being in a beastly bank," said Mike, summing up.
  • "I'm glad he's having such a ripping time. It must be almost as decent
  • as Wrykyn out there.... I say, what's under that dish?"
  • CHAPTER XXX
  • MR. JACKSON MAKES UP HIS MIND
  • Two years have elapsed and Mike is home again for the Easter holidays.
  • If Mike had been in time for breakfast that morning he might have
  • gathered from the expression on his father's face, as Mr. Jackson
  • opened the envelope containing his school report and read the
  • contents, that the document in question was not exactly a paean of
  • praise from beginning to end. But he was late, as usual. Mike always
  • was late for breakfast in the holidays.
  • When he came down on this particular morning, the meal was nearly
  • over. Mr. Jackson had disappeared, taking his correspondence with him;
  • Mrs. Jackson had gone into the kitchen, and when Mike appeared the
  • thing had resolved itself into a mere vulgar brawl between Phyllis and
  • Ella for the jam, while Marjory, who had put her hair up a fortnight
  • before, looked on in a detached sort of way, as if these juvenile
  • gambols distressed her.
  • "Hullo, Mike," she said, jumping up as he entered; "here you are--I've
  • been keeping everything hot for you."
  • "Have you? Thanks awfully. I say--" his eye wandered in mild surprise
  • round the table. "I'm a bit late."
  • Marjory was bustling about, fetching and carrying for Mike, as she
  • always did. She had adopted him at an early age, and did the thing
  • thoroughly. She was fond of her other brothers, especially when they
  • made centuries in first-class cricket, but Mike was her favourite. She
  • would field out in the deep as a natural thing when Mike was batting
  • at the net in the paddock, though for the others, even for Joe, who
  • had played in all five Test Matches in the previous summer, she would
  • do it only as a favour.
  • Phyllis and Ella finished their dispute and went out. Marjory sat on
  • the table and watched Mike eat.
  • "Your report came this morning, Mike," she said.
  • The kidneys failed to retain Mike's undivided attention. He looked up
  • interested. "What did it say?"
  • "I didn't see--I only caught sight of the Wrykyn crest on the
  • envelope. Father didn't say anything."
  • Mike seemed concerned. "I say, that looks rather rotten! I wonder if
  • it was awfully bad. It's the first I've had from Appleby."
  • "It can't be any worse than the horrid ones Mr. Blake used to write
  • when you were in his form."
  • "No, that's a comfort," said Mike philosophically. "Think there's any
  • more tea in that pot?"
  • "I call it a shame," said Marjory; "they ought to be jolly glad to
  • have you at Wrykyn just for cricket, instead of writing beastly
  • reports that make father angry and don't do any good to anybody."
  • "Last summer he said he'd take me away if I got another one."
  • "He didn't mean it really, I _know_ he didn't! He couldn't!
  • You're the best bat Wrykyn's ever had."
  • "What ho!" interpolated Mike.
  • "You _are_. Everybody says you are. Why, you got your first the
  • very first term you were there--even Joe didn't do anything nearly so
  • good as that. Saunders says you're simply bound to play for England in
  • another year or two."
  • "Saunders is a jolly good chap. He bowled me a half-volley on the off
  • the first ball I had in a school match. By the way, I wonder if he's
  • out at the net now. Let's go and see."
  • Saunders was setting up the net when they arrived. Mike put on his
  • pads and went to the wickets, while Marjory and the dogs retired as
  • usual to the far hedge to retrieve.
  • She was kept busy. Saunders was a good sound bowler of the M.C.C.
  • minor match type, and there had been a time when he had worried Mike
  • considerably, but Mike had been in the Wrykyn team for three seasons
  • now, and each season he had advanced tremendously in his batting. He
  • had filled out in three years. He had always had the style, and now he
  • had the strength as well. Saunders's bowling on a true wicket seemed
  • simple to him. It was early in the Easter holidays, but already he was
  • beginning to find his form. Saunders, who looked on Mike as his own
  • special invention, was delighted.
  • "If you don't be worried by being too anxious now that you're captain,
  • Master Mike," he said, "you'll make a century every match next term."
  • "I wish I wasn't; it's a beastly responsibility."
  • Henfrey, the Wrykyn cricket captain of the previous season, was not
  • returning next term, and Mike was to reign in his stead. He liked the
  • prospect, but it certainly carried with it a rather awe-inspiring
  • responsibility. At night sometimes he would lie awake, appalled by the
  • fear of losing his form, or making a hash of things by choosing the
  • wrong men to play for the school and leaving the right men out. It is
  • no light thing to captain a public school at cricket.
  • As he was walking towards the house, Phyllis met him. "Oh, I've been
  • hunting for you, Mike; father wants you."
  • "What for?"
  • "I don't know."
  • "Where?"
  • "He's in the study. He seems--" added Phyllis, throwing in the
  • information by way of a make-weight, "in a beastly wax."
  • Mike's jaw fell slightly. "I hope the dickens it's nothing to do with
  • that bally report," was his muttered exclamation.
  • Mike's dealings with his father were as a rule of a most pleasant
  • nature. Mr. Jackson was an understanding sort of man, who treated his
  • sons as companions. From time to time, however, breezes were apt to
  • ruffle the placid sea of good-fellowship. Mike's end-of-term report
  • was an unfailing wind-raiser; indeed, on the arrival of Mr. Blake's
  • sarcastic _résumé_ of Mike's short-comings at the end of the
  • previous term, there had been something not unlike a typhoon. It was
  • on this occasion that Mr. Jackson had solemnly declared his intention
  • of removing Mike from Wrykyn unless the critics became more
  • flattering; and Mr. Jackson was a man of his word.
  • It was with a certain amount of apprehension, therefore, that Jackson
  • entered the study.
  • "Come in, Mike," said his father, kicking the waste-paper basket; "I
  • want to speak to you."
  • Mike, skilled in omens, scented a row in the offing. Only in moments
  • of emotion was Mr. Jackson in the habit of booting the basket.
  • There followed an awkward silence, which Mike broke by remarking that
  • he had carted a half-volley from Saunders over the on-side hedge that
  • morning.
  • "It was just a bit short and off the leg stump, so I stepped out--may
  • I bag the paper-knife for a jiffy? I'll just show----"
  • "Never mind about cricket now," said Mr. Jackson; "I want you to
  • listen to this report."
  • "Oh, is that my report, father?" said Mike, with a sort of sickly
  • interest, much as a dog about to be washed might evince in his tub.
  • "It is," replied Mr. Jackson in measured tones, "your report; what is
  • more, it is without exception the worst report you have ever had."
  • "Oh, I say!" groaned the record-breaker.
  • "'His conduct,'" quoted Mr. Jackson, "'has been unsatisfactory in the
  • extreme, both in and out of school.'"
  • "It wasn't anything really. I only happened----"
  • Remembering suddenly that what he had happened to do was to drop a
  • cannon-ball (the school weight) on the form-room floor, not once, but
  • on several occasions, he paused.
  • "'French bad; conduct disgraceful----'"
  • "Everybody rags in French."
  • "'Mathematics bad. Inattentive and idle.'"
  • "Nobody does much work in Math."
  • "'Latin poor. Greek, very poor.'"
  • "We were doing Thucydides, Book Two, last term--all speeches and
  • doubtful readings, and cruxes and things--beastly hard! Everybody says
  • so."
  • "Here are Mr. Appleby's remarks: 'The boy has genuine ability, which
  • he declines to use in the smallest degree.'"
  • Mike moaned a moan of righteous indignation.
  • "'An abnormal proficiency at games has apparently destroyed all desire
  • in him to realise the more serious issues of life.' There is more to
  • the same effect."
  • Mr. Appleby was a master with very definite ideas as to what
  • constituted a public-school master's duties. As a man he was
  • distinctly pro-Mike. He understood cricket, and some of Mike's shots
  • on the off gave him thrills of pure aesthetic joy; but as a master he
  • always made it his habit to regard the manners and customs of the boys
  • in his form with an unbiased eye, and to an unbiased eye Mike in a
  • form-room was about as near the extreme edge as a boy could be, and
  • Mr. Appleby said as much in a clear firm hand.
  • "You remember what I said to you about your report at Christmas,
  • Mike?" said Mr. Jackson, folding the lethal document and replacing it
  • in its envelope.
  • Mike said nothing; there was a sinking feeling in his interior.
  • "I shall abide by what I said."
  • Mike's heart thumped.
  • "You will not go back to Wrykyn next term."
  • Somewhere in the world the sun was shining, birds were twittering;
  • somewhere in the world lambkins frisked and peasants sang blithely at
  • their toil (flat, perhaps, but still blithely), but to Mike at that
  • moment the sky was black, and an icy wind blew over the face of the
  • earth.
  • The tragedy had happened, and there was an end of it. He made no
  • attempt to appeal against the sentence. He knew it would be useless,
  • his father, when he made up his mind, having all the unbending
  • tenacity of the normally easy-going man.
  • Mr. Jackson was sorry for Mike. He understood him, and for that reason
  • he said very little now.
  • "I am sending you to Sedleigh," was his next remark.
  • Sedleigh! Mike sat up with a jerk. He knew Sedleigh by name--one of
  • those schools with about a hundred fellows which you never hear of
  • except when they send up their gymnasium pair to Aldershot, or their
  • Eight to Bisley. Mike's outlook on life was that of a cricketer, pure
  • and simple. What had Sedleigh ever done? What were they ever likely to
  • do? Whom did they play? What Old Sedleighan had ever done anything at
  • cricket? Perhaps they didn't even _play_ cricket!
  • "But it's an awful hole," he said blankly.
  • Mr. Jackson could read Mike's mind like a book. Mike's point of view
  • was plain to him. He did not approve of it, but he knew that in Mike's
  • place and at Mike's age he would have felt the same. He spoke drily to
  • hide his sympathy.
  • "It is not a large school," he said, "and I don't suppose it could
  • play Wrykyn at cricket, but it has one merit--boys work there. Young
  • Barlitt won a Balliol scholarship from Sedleigh last year." Barlitt
  • was the vicar's son, a silent, spectacled youth who did not enter
  • very largely into Mike's world. They had met occasionally at
  • tennis-parties, but not much conversation had ensued. Barlitt's
  • mind was massive, but his topics of conversation were not Mike's.
  • "Mr. Barlitt speaks very highly of Sedleigh," added Mr. Jackson.
  • Mike said nothing, which was a good deal better than saying what he
  • would have liked to have said.
  • CHAPTER XXXI
  • SEDLEIGH
  • The train, which had been stopping everywhere for the last half-hour,
  • pulled up again, and Mike, seeing the name of the station, got up,
  • opened the door, and hurled a Gladstone bag out on to the platform in
  • an emphatic and vindictive manner. Then he got out himself and looked
  • about him.
  • "For the school, sir?" inquired the solitary porter, bustling up, as
  • if he hoped by sheer energy to deceive the traveller into thinking
  • that Sedleigh station was staffed by a great army of porters.
  • Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if
  • somebody had met him in 1812, and said, "So you're back from Moscow,
  • eh?" Mike was feeling thoroughly jaundiced. The future seemed wholly
  • gloomy. And, so far from attempting to make the best of things, he had
  • set himself deliberately to look on the dark side. He thought, for
  • instance, that he had never seen a more repulsive porter, or one more
  • obviously incompetent than the man who had attached himself with a
  • firm grasp to the handle of the bag as he strode off in the direction
  • of the luggage-van. He disliked his voice, his appearance, and the
  • colour of his hair. Also the boots he wore. He hated the station, and
  • the man who took his ticket.
  • "Young gents at the school, sir," said the porter, perceiving from
  • Mike's _distrait_ air that the boy was a stranger to the place,
  • "goes up in the 'bus mostly. It's waiting here, sir. Hi, George!"
  • "I'll walk, thanks," said Mike frigidly.
  • "It's a goodish step, sir."
  • "Here you are."
  • "Thank you, sir. I'll send up your luggage by the 'bus, sir. Which
  • 'ouse was it you was going to?"
  • "Outwood's."
  • "Right, sir. It's straight on up this road to the school. You can't
  • miss it, sir."
  • "Worse luck," said Mike.
  • He walked off up the road, sorrier for himself than ever. It was such
  • absolutely rotten luck. About now, instead of being on his way to a
  • place where they probably ran a diabolo team instead of a cricket
  • eleven, and played hunt-the-slipper in winter, he would be on the
  • point of arriving at Wrykyn. And as captain of cricket, at that. Which
  • was the bitter part of it. He had never been in command. For the last
  • two seasons he had been the star man, going in first, and heading the
  • averages easily at the end of the season; and the three captains under
  • whom he had played during his career as a Wrykynian, Burgess, Enderby,
  • and Henfrey had always been sportsmen to him. But it was not the same
  • thing. He had meant to do such a lot for Wrykyn cricket this term. He
  • had had an entirely new system of coaching in his mind. Now it might
  • never be used. He had handed it on in a letter to Strachan, who would
  • be captain in his place; but probably Strachan would have some scheme
  • of his own. There is nobody who could not edit a paper in the ideal
  • way; and there is nobody who has not a theory of his own about
  • cricket-coaching at school.
  • Wrykyn, too, would be weak this year, now that he was no longer there.
  • Strachan was a good, free bat on his day, and, if he survived a few
  • overs, might make a century in an hour, but he was not to be depended
  • upon. There was no doubt that Mike's sudden withdrawal meant that
  • Wrykyn would have a bad time that season. And it had been such a
  • wretched athletic year for the school. The football fifteen had been
  • hopeless, and had lost both the Ripton matches, the return by over
  • sixty points. Sheen's victory in the light-weights at Aldershot had
  • been their one success. And now, on top of all this, the captain of
  • cricket was removed during the Easter holidays. Mike's heart bled for
  • Wrykyn, and he found himself loathing Sedleigh and all its works with
  • a great loathing.
  • The only thing he could find in its favour was the fact that it was
  • set in a very pretty country. Of a different type from the Wrykyn
  • country, but almost as good. For three miles Mike made his way through
  • woods and past fields. Once he crossed a river. It was soon after this
  • that he caught sight, from the top of a hill, of a group of buildings
  • that wore an unmistakably school-like look.
  • This must be Sedleigh.
  • Ten minutes' walk brought him to the school gates, and a baker's boy
  • directed him to Mr. Outwood's.
  • There were three houses in a row, separated from the school buildings
  • by a cricket-field. Outwood's was the middle one of these.
  • Mike went to the front door, and knocked. At Wrykyn he had always
  • charged in at the beginning of term at the boys' entrance, but this
  • formal reporting of himself at Sedleigh suited his mood.
  • He inquired for Mr. Outwood, and was shown into a room lined with
  • books. Presently the door opened, and the house-master appeared.
  • There was something pleasant and homely about Mr. Outwood. In
  • appearance he reminded Mike of Smee in "Peter Pan." He had the same
  • eyebrows and pince-nez and the same motherly look.
  • "Jackson?" he said mildly.
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "I am very glad to see you, very glad indeed. Perhaps you would like a
  • cup of tea after your journey. I think you might like a cup of tea.
  • You come from Crofton, in Shropshire, I understand, Jackson, near
  • Brindleford? It is a part of the country which I have always wished to
  • visit. I daresay you have frequently seen the Cluniac Priory of St.
  • Ambrose at Brindleford?"
  • Mike, who would not have recognised a Cluniac Priory if you had handed
  • him one on a tray, said he had not.
  • "Dear me! You have missed an opportunity which I should have been glad
  • to have. I am preparing a book on Ruined Abbeys and Priories of
  • England, and it has always been my wish to see the Cluniac Priory of
  • St. Ambrose. A deeply interesting relic of the sixteenth century.
  • Bishop Geoffrey, 1133-40----"
  • "Shall I go across to the boys' part, sir?"
  • "What? Yes. Oh, yes. Quite so. And perhaps you would like a cup of tea
  • after your journey? No? Quite so. Quite so. You should make a point of
  • visiting the remains of the Cluniac Priory in the summer holidays,
  • Jackson. You will find the matron in her room. In many respects it is
  • unique. The northern altar is in a state of really wonderful
  • preservation. It consists of a solid block of masonry five feet long
  • and two and a half wide, with chamfered plinth, standing quite free
  • from the apse wall. It will well repay a visit. Good-bye for the
  • present, Jackson, good-bye."
  • Mike wandered across to the other side of the house, his gloom visibly
  • deepened. All alone in a strange school, where they probably played
  • hopscotch, with a house-master who offered one cups of tea after one's
  • journey and talked about chamfered plinths and apses. It was a little
  • hard.
  • He strayed about, finding his bearings, and finally came to a room
  • which he took to be the equivalent of the senior day-room at a Wrykyn
  • house. Everywhere else he had found nothing but emptiness. Evidently
  • he had come by an earlier train than was usual. But this room was
  • occupied.
  • A very long, thin youth, with a solemn face and immaculate clothes,
  • was leaning against the mantelpiece. As Mike entered, he fumbled in
  • his top left waistcoat pocket, produced an eyeglass attached to a
  • cord, and fixed it in his right eye. With the help of this aid to
  • vision he inspected Mike in silence for a while, then, having flicked
  • an invisible speck of dust from the left sleeve of his coat, he spoke.
  • "Hullo," he said.
  • He spoke in a tired voice.
  • "Hullo," said Mike.
  • "Take a seat," said the immaculate one. "If you don't mind dirtying
  • your bags, that's to say. Personally, I don't see any prospect of ever
  • sitting down in this place. It looks to me as if they meant to use
  • these chairs as mustard-and-cress beds. A Nursery Garden in the Home.
  • That sort of idea. My name," he added pensively, "is Smith. What's
  • yours?"
  • CHAPTER XXXII
  • PSMITH
  • "Jackson," said Mike.
  • "Are you the Bully, the Pride of the School, or the Boy who is Led
  • Astray and takes to Drink in Chapter Sixteen?"
  • "The last, for choice," said Mike, "but I've only just arrived, so I
  • don't know."
  • "The boy--what will he become? Are you new here, too, then?"
  • "Yes! Why, are you new?"
  • "Do I look as if I belonged here? I'm the latest import. Sit down
  • on yonder settee, and I will tell you the painful story of my life.
  • By the way, before I start, there's just one thing. If you ever
  • have occasion to write to me, would you mind sticking a P at the
  • beginning of my name? P-s-m-i-t-h. See? There are too many Smiths,
  • and I don't care for Smythe. My father's content to worry along in
  • the old-fashioned way, but I've decided to strike out a fresh line.
  • I shall found a new dynasty. The resolve came to me unexpectedly this
  • morning, as I was buying a simple penn'orth of butterscotch out of
  • the automatic machine at Paddington. I jotted it down on the back of
  • an envelope. In conversation you may address me as Rupert (though I
  • hope you won't), or simply Smith, the P not being sounded. Cp. the
  • name Zbysco, in which the Z is given a similar miss-in-baulk. See?"
  • Mike said he saw. Psmith thanked him with a certain stately old-world
  • courtesy.
  • "Let us start at the beginning," he resumed. "My infancy. When I was
  • but a babe, my eldest sister was bribed with a shilling an hour by my
  • nurse to keep an eye on me, and see that I did not raise Cain. At the
  • end of the first day she struck for one-and six, and got it. We now
  • pass to my boyhood. At an early age, I was sent to Eton, everybody
  • predicting a bright career for me. But," said Psmith solemnly, fixing
  • an owl-like gaze on Mike through the eye-glass, "it was not to be."
  • "No?" said Mike.
  • "No. I was superannuated last term."
  • "Bad luck."
  • "For Eton, yes. But what Eton loses, Sedleigh gains."
  • "But why Sedleigh, of all places?"
  • "This is the most painful part of my narrative. It seems that a
  • certain scug in the next village to ours happened last year to collar
  • a Balliol----"
  • "Not Barlitt!" exclaimed Mike.
  • "That was the man. The son of the vicar. The vicar told the curate,
  • who told our curate, who told our vicar, who told my father, who sent
  • me off here to get a Balliol too. Do _you_ know Barlitt?"
  • "His pater's vicar of our village. It was because his son got a
  • Balliol that I was sent here."
  • "Do you come from Crofton?"
  • "Yes."
  • "I've lived at Lower Benford all my life. We are practically long-lost
  • brothers. Cheer a little, will you?"
  • Mike felt as Robinson Crusoe felt when he met Friday. Here was a
  • fellow human being in this desert place. He could almost have embraced
  • Psmith. The very sound of the name Lower Benford was heartening. His
  • dislike for his new school was not diminished, but now he felt that
  • life there might at least be tolerable.
  • "Where were you before you came here?" asked Psmith. "You have heard
  • my painful story. Now tell me yours."
  • "Wrykyn. My pater took me away because I got such a lot of bad
  • reports."
  • "My reports from Eton were simply scurrilous. There's a libel action
  • in every sentence. How do you like this place from what you've seen of
  • it?"
  • "Rotten."
  • "I am with you, Comrade Jackson. You won't mind my calling you
  • Comrade, will you? I've just become a Socialist. It's a great scheme.
  • You ought to be one. You work for the equal distribution of property,
  • and start by collaring all you can and sitting on it. We must stick
  • together. We are companions in misfortune. Lost lambs. Sheep that have
  • gone astray. Divided, we fall, together we may worry through. Have you
  • seen Professor Radium yet? I should say Mr. Outwood. What do you think
  • of him?"
  • "He doesn't seem a bad sort of chap. Bit off his nut. Jawed about
  • apses and things."
  • "And thereby," said Psmith, "hangs a tale. I've been making inquiries
  • of a stout sportsman in a sort of Salvation Army uniform, whom I met
  • in the grounds--he's the school sergeant or something, quite a solid
  • man--and I hear that Comrade Outwood's an archaeological cove. Goes
  • about the country beating up old ruins and fossils and things. There's
  • an Archaeological Society in the school, run by him. It goes out on
  • half-holidays, prowling about, and is allowed to break bounds and
  • generally steep itself to the eyebrows in reckless devilry. And,
  • mark you, laddie, if you belong to the Archaeological Society you
  • get off cricket. To get off cricket," said Psmith, dusting his right
  • trouser-leg, "was the dream of my youth and the aspiration of my riper
  • years. A noble game, but a bit too thick for me. At Eton I used to have
  • to field out at the nets till the soles of my boots wore through. I
  • suppose you are a blood at the game? Play for the school against
  • Loamshire, and so on."
  • "I'm not going to play here, at any rate," said Mike.
  • He had made up his mind on this point in the train. There is a certain
  • fascination about making the very worst of a bad job. Achilles knew
  • his business when he sat in his tent. The determination not to play
  • cricket for Sedleigh as he could not play for Wrykyn gave Mike a sort
  • of pleasure. To stand by with folded arms and a sombre frown, as it
  • were, was one way of treating the situation, and one not without its
  • meed of comfort.
  • Psmith approved the resolve.
  • "Stout fellow," he said. "'Tis well. You and I, hand in hand, will
  • search the countryside for ruined abbeys. We will snare the elusive
  • fossil together. Above all, we will go out of bounds. We shall thus
  • improve our minds, and have a jolly good time as well. I shouldn't
  • wonder if one mightn't borrow a gun from some friendly native, and do
  • a bit of rabbit-shooting here and there. From what I saw of Comrade
  • Outwood during our brief interview, I shouldn't think he was one of
  • the lynx-eyed contingent. With tact we ought to be able to slip away
  • from the merry throng of fossil-chasers, and do a bit on our own
  • account."
  • "Good idea," said Mike. "We will. A chap at Wrykyn, called Wyatt, used
  • to break out at night and shoot at cats with an air-pistol."
  • "It would take a lot to make me do that. I am all against anything
  • that interferes with my sleep. But rabbits in the daytime is a scheme.
  • We'll nose about for a gun at the earliest opp. Meanwhile we'd better
  • go up to Comrade Outwood, and get our names shoved down for the
  • Society."
  • "I vote we get some tea first somewhere."
  • "Then let's beat up a study. I suppose they have studies here. Let's
  • go and look."
  • They went upstairs. On the first floor there was a passage with doors
  • on either side. Psmith opened the first of these.
  • "This'll do us well," he said.
  • It was a biggish room, looking out over the school grounds. There were
  • a couple of deal tables, two empty bookcases, and a looking-glass,
  • hung on a nail.
  • "Might have been made for us," said Psmith approvingly.
  • "I suppose it belongs to some rotter."
  • "Not now."
  • "You aren't going to collar it!"
  • "That," said Psmith, looking at himself earnestly in the mirror, and
  • straightening his tie, "is the exact programme. We must stake out our
  • claims. This is practical Socialism."
  • "But the real owner's bound to turn up some time or other."
  • "His misfortune, not ours. You can't expect two master-minds like us
  • to pig it in that room downstairs. There are moments when one wants to
  • be alone. It is imperative that we have a place to retire to after a
  • fatiguing day. And now, if you want to be really useful, come and help
  • me fetch up my box from downstairs. It's got an Etna and various
  • things in it."
  • CHAPTER XXXIII
  • STAKING OUT A CLAIM
  • Psmith, in the matter of decorating a study and preparing tea in it,
  • was rather a critic than an executant. He was full of ideas, but he
  • preferred to allow Mike to carry them out. It was he who suggested
  • that the wooden bar which ran across the window was unnecessary, but
  • it was Mike who wrenched it from its place. Similarly, it was Mike who
  • abstracted the key from the door of the next study, though the idea
  • was Psmith's.
  • "Privacy," said Psmith, as he watched Mike light the Etna, "is what we
  • chiefly need in this age of publicity. If you leave a study door
  • unlocked in these strenuous times, the first thing you know is,
  • somebody comes right in, sits down, and begins to talk about himself.
  • I think with a little care we ought to be able to make this room quite
  • decently comfortable. That putrid calendar must come down, though.
  • Do you think you could make a long arm, and haul it off the parent
  • tin-tack? Thanks. We make progress. We make progress."
  • "We shall jolly well make it out of the window," said Mike, spooning
  • up tea from a paper bag with a postcard, "if a sort of young
  • Hackenschmidt turns up and claims the study. What are you going to do
  • about it?"
  • "Don't let us worry about it. I have a presentiment that he will be an
  • insignificant-looking little weed. How are you getting on with the
  • evening meal?"
  • "Just ready. What would you give to be at Eton now? I'd give something
  • to be at Wrykyn."
  • "These school reports," said Psmith sympathetically, "are the very
  • dickens. Many a bright young lad has been soured by them. Hullo.
  • What's this, I wonder."
  • A heavy body had plunged against the door, evidently without a
  • suspicion that there would be any resistance. A rattling at the handle
  • followed, and a voice outside said, "Dash the door!"
  • "Hackenschmidt!" said Mike.
  • "The weed," said Psmith. "You couldn't make a long arm, could you, and
  • turn the key? We had better give this merchant audience. Remind me
  • later to go on with my remarks on school reports. I had several bright
  • things to say on the subject."
  • Mike unlocked the door, and flung it open. Framed in the entrance was
  • a smallish, freckled boy, wearing a bowler hat and carrying a bag. On
  • his face was an expression of mingled wrath and astonishment.
  • Psmith rose courteously from his chair, and moved forward with slow
  • stateliness to do the honours.
  • "What the dickens," inquired the newcomer, "are you doing here?"
  • [Illustration: "WHAT THE DICKENS ARE YOU DOING HERE?"]
  • "We were having a little tea," said Psmith, "to restore our tissues
  • after our journey. Come in and join us. We keep open house, we
  • Psmiths. Let me introduce you to Comrade Jackson. A stout fellow.
  • Homely in appearance, perhaps, but one of us. I am Psmith. Your own
  • name will doubtless come up in the course of general chit-chat over
  • the tea-cups."
  • "My name's Spiller, and this is my study."
  • Psmith leaned against the mantelpiece, put up his eyeglass, and
  • harangued Spiller in a philosophical vein.
  • "Of all sad words of tongue or pen," said he, "the saddest are these:
  • 'It might have been.' Too late! That is the bitter cry. If you had
  • torn yourself from the bosom of the Spiller family by an earlier
  • train, all might have been well. But no. Your father held your hand
  • and said huskily, 'Edwin, don't leave us!' Your mother clung to you
  • weeping, and said, 'Edwin, stay!' Your sisters----"
  • "I want to know what----"
  • "Your sisters froze on to your knees like little octopuses (or
  • octopi), and screamed, 'Don't go, Edwin!' And so," said Psmith, deeply
  • affected by his recital, "you stayed on till the later train; and, on
  • arrival, you find strange faces in the familiar room, a people that
  • know not Spiller." Psmith went to the table, and cheered himself with
  • a sip of tea. Spiller's sad case had moved him greatly.
  • The victim of Fate seemed in no way consoled.
  • "It's beastly cheek, that's what I call it. Are you new chaps?"
  • "The very latest thing," said Psmith.
  • "Well, it's beastly cheek."
  • Mike's outlook on life was of the solid, practical order. He went
  • straight to the root of the matter.
  • "What are you going to do about it?" he asked.
  • Spiller evaded the question.
  • "It's beastly cheek," he repeated. "You can't go about the place
  • bagging studies."
  • "But we do," said Psmith. "In this life, Comrade Spiller, we must be
  • prepared for every emergency. We must distinguish between the unusual
  • and the impossible. It is unusual for people to go about the place
  • bagging studies, so you have rashly ordered your life on the
  • assumption that it is impossible. Error! Ah, Spiller, Spiller, let
  • this be a lesson to you."
  • "Look here, I tell you what it----"
  • "I was in a motor with a man once. I said to him: 'What would happen
  • if you trod on that pedal thing instead of that other pedal thing?' He
  • said, 'I couldn't. One's the foot-brake, and the other's the
  • accelerator.' 'But suppose you did?' I said. 'I wouldn't,' he said.
  • 'Now we'll let her rip.' So he stamped on the accelerator. Only it
  • turned out to be the foot-brake after all, and we stopped dead, and
  • skidded into a ditch. The advice I give to every young man starting
  • life is: 'Never confuse the unusual and the impossible.' Take the
  • present case. If you had only realised the possibility of somebody
  • some day collaring your study, you might have thought out dozens of
  • sound schemes for dealing with the matter. As it is, you are
  • unprepared. The thing comes on you as a surprise. The cry goes round:
  • 'Spiller has been taken unawares. He cannot cope with the situation.'"
  • "Can't I! I'll----"
  • "What _are_ you going to do about it?" said Mike.
  • "All I know is, I'm going to have it. It was Simpson's last term, and
  • Simpson's left, and I'm next on the house list, so, of course, it's my
  • study."
  • "But what steps," said Psmith, "are you going to take? Spiller, the
  • man of Logic, we know. But what of Spiller, the Man of Action? How
  • do you intend to set about it? Force is useless. I was saying to
  • Comrade Jackson before you came in, that I didn't mind betting you
  • were an insignificant-looking little weed. And you _are_ an
  • insignificant-looking little weed."
  • "We'll see what Outwood says about it."
  • "Not an unsound scheme. By no means a scaly project. Comrade Jackson
  • and myself were about to interview him upon another point. We may as
  • well all go together."
  • The trio made their way to the Presence, Spiller pink and determined,
  • Mike sullen, Psmith particularly debonair. He hummed lightly as he
  • walked, and now and then pointed out to Spiller objects of interest by
  • the wayside.
  • Mr. Outwood received them with the motherly warmth which was evidently
  • the leading characteristic of his normal manner.
  • "Ah, Spiller," he said. "And Smith, and Jackson. I am glad to see that
  • you have already made friends."
  • "Spiller's, sir," said Psmith, laying a hand patronisingly on
  • the study-claimer's shoulder--a proceeding violently resented by
  • Spiller--"is a character one cannot help but respect. His nature
  • expands before one like some beautiful flower."
  • Mr. Outwood received this eulogy with rather a startled expression,
  • and gazed at the object of the tribute in a surprised way.
  • "Er--quite so, Smith, quite so," he said at last. "I like to see boys
  • in my house friendly towards one another."
  • "There is no vice in Spiller," pursued Psmith earnestly. "His heart is
  • the heart of a little child."
  • "Please, sir," burst out this paragon of all the virtues, "I----"
  • "But it was not entirely with regard to Spiller that I wished to speak
  • to you, sir, if you were not too busy."
  • "Not at all, Smith, not at all. Is there anything----"
  • "Please, sir--" began Spiller.
  • "I understand, sir," said Psmith, "that there is an Archaeological
  • Society in the school."
  • Mr. Outwood's eyes sparkled behind their pince-nez. It was a
  • disappointment to him that so few boys seemed to wish to belong to his
  • chosen band. Cricket and football, games that left him cold, appeared
  • to be the main interest in their lives. It was but rarely that he
  • could induce new boys to join. His colleague, Mr. Downing, who
  • presided over the School Fire Brigade, never had any difficulty in
  • finding support. Boys came readily at his call. Mr. Outwood pondered
  • wistfully on this at times, not knowing that the Fire Brigade owed its
  • support to the fact that it provided its light-hearted members with
  • perfectly unparalleled opportunities for ragging, while his own band,
  • though small, were in the main earnest.
  • "Yes, Smith." he said. "Yes. We have a small Archaeological Society.
  • I--er--in a measure look after it. Perhaps you would care to become a
  • member?"
  • "Please, sir--" said Spiller.
  • "One moment, Spiller. Do you want to join, Smith?"
  • "Intensely, sir. Archaeology fascinates me. A grand pursuit, sir."
  • "Undoubtedly, Smith. I am very pleased, very pleased indeed. I will
  • put down your name at once."
  • "And Jackson's, sir."
  • "Jackson, too!" Mr. Outwood beamed. "I am delighted. Most delighted.
  • This is capital. This enthusiasm is most capital."
  • "Spiller, sir," said Psmith sadly, "I have been unable to induce to
  • join."
  • "Oh, he is one of our oldest members."
  • "Ah," said Psmith, tolerantly, "that accounts for it."
  • "Please, sir--" said Spiller.
  • "One moment, Spiller. We shall have the first outing of the term on
  • Saturday. We intend to inspect the Roman Camp at Embury Hill, two
  • miles from the school."
  • "We shall be there, sir."
  • "Capital!"
  • "Please, sir--" said Spiller.
  • "One moment, Spiller," said Psmith. "There is just one other matter,
  • if you could spare the time, sir."
  • "Certainly, Smith. What is that?"
  • "Would there be any objection to Jackson and myself taking Simpson's
  • old study?"
  • "By all means, Smith. A very good idea."
  • "Yes, sir. It would give us a place where we could work quietly in the
  • evenings."
  • "Quite so. Quite so."
  • "Thank you very much, sir. We will move our things in."
  • "Thank you very much, sir," said Mike.
  • "Please, sir," shouted Spiller, "aren't I to have it? I'm next on the
  • list, sir. I come next after Simpson. Can't I have it?"
  • "I'm afraid I have already promised it to Smith, Spiller. You should
  • have spoken before."
  • "But, sir----"
  • Psmith eyed the speaker pityingly.
  • "This tendency to delay, Spiller," he said, "is your besetting fault.
  • Correct it, Edwin. Fight against it."
  • He turned to Mr. Outwood.
  • "We should, of course, sir, always be glad to see Spiller in our
  • study. He would always find a cheery welcome waiting there for him.
  • There is no formality between ourselves and Spiller."
  • "Quite so. An excellent arrangement, Smith. I like this spirit of
  • comradeship in my house. Then you will be with us on Saturday?"
  • "On Saturday, sir."
  • "All this sort of thing, Spiller," said Psmith, as they closed the
  • door, "is very, very trying for a man of culture. Look us up in our
  • study one of these afternoons."
  • CHAPTER XXXIV
  • GUERRILLA WARFARE
  • "There are few pleasures," said Psmith, as he resumed his favourite
  • position against the mantelpiece and surveyed the commandeered study
  • with the pride of a householder, "keener to the reflective mind than
  • sitting under one's own roof-tree. This place would have been wasted
  • on Spiller; he would not have appreciated it properly."
  • Mike was finishing his tea. "You're a jolly useful chap to have by you
  • in a crisis, Smith," he said with approval. "We ought to have known
  • each other before."
  • "The loss was mine," said Psmith courteously. "We will now, with your
  • permission, face the future for awhile. I suppose you realise that we
  • are now to a certain extent up against it. Spiller's hot Spanish blood
  • is not going to sit tight and do nothing under a blow like this."
  • "What can he do? Outwood's given us the study."
  • "What would you have done if somebody had bagged your study?"
  • "Made it jolly hot for them!"
  • "So will Comrade Spiller. I take it that he will collect a gang and
  • make an offensive movement against us directly he can. To all
  • appearances we are in a fairly tight place. It all depends on how big
  • Comrade Spiller's gang will be. I don't like rows, but I'm prepared to
  • take on a reasonable number of bravoes in defence of the home."
  • Mike intimated that he was with him on the point. "The difficulty is,
  • though," he said, "about when we leave this room. I mean, we're all
  • right while we stick here, but we can't stay all night."
  • "That's just what I was about to point out when you put it with such
  • admirable clearness. Here we are in a stronghold, they can only get at
  • us through the door, and we can lock that."
  • "And jam a chair against it."
  • "_And_, as you rightly remark, jam a chair against it. But what
  • of the nightfall? What of the time when we retire to our dormitory?"
  • "Or dormitories. I say, if we're in separate rooms we shall be in the
  • cart."
  • Psmith eyed Mike with approval. "He thinks of everything! You're the
  • man, Comrade Jackson, to conduct an affair of this kind--such
  • foresight! such resource! We must see to this at once; if they put us
  • in different rooms we're done--we shall be destroyed singly in the
  • watches of the night."
  • "We'd better nip down to the matron right off."
  • "Not the matron--Comrade Outwood is the man. We are as sons to him;
  • there is nothing he can deny us. I'm afraid we are quite spoiling his
  • afternoon by these interruptions, but we must rout him out once more."
  • As they got up, the door handle rattled again, and this time there
  • followed a knocking.
  • "This must be an emissary of Comrade Spiller's," said Psmith. "Let us
  • parley with the man."
  • Mike unlocked the door. A light-haired youth with a cheerful, rather
  • vacant face and a receding chin strolled into the room, and stood
  • giggling with his hands in his pockets.
  • "I just came up to have a look at you," he explained.
  • "If you move a little to the left," said Psmith, "you will catch the
  • light and shade effects on Jackson's face better."
  • The new-comer giggled with renewed vigour. "Are you the chap with the
  • eyeglass who jaws all the time?"
  • "I _do_ wear an eyeglass," said Psmith; "as to the rest of the
  • description----"
  • "My name's Jellicoe."
  • "Mine is Psmith--P-s-m-i-t-h--one of the Shropshire Psmiths. The
  • object on the skyline is Comrade Jackson."
  • "Old Spiller," giggled Jellicoe, "is cursing you like anything
  • downstairs. You _are_ chaps! Do you mean to say you simply bagged
  • his study? He's making no end of a row about it."
  • "Spiller's fiery nature is a byword," said Psmith.
  • "What's he going to do?" asked Mike, in his practical way.
  • "He's going to get the chaps to turn you out."
  • "As I suspected," sighed Psmith, as one mourning over the frailty of
  • human nature. "About how many horny-handed assistants should you say
  • that he would be likely to bring? Will you, for instance, join the
  • glad throng?"
  • "Me? No fear! I think Spiller's an ass."
  • "There's nothing like a common thought for binding people together.
  • _I_ think Spiller's an ass."
  • "How many _will_ there be, then?" asked Mike.
  • "He might get about half a dozen, not more, because most of the chaps
  • don't see why they should sweat themselves just because Spiller's
  • study has been bagged."
  • "Sturdy common sense," said Psmith approvingly, "seems to be the chief
  • virtue of the Sedleigh character."
  • "We shall be able to tackle a crowd like that," said Mike. "The only
  • thing is we must get into the same dormitory."
  • "This is where Comrade Jellicoe's knowledge of the local geography
  • will come in useful. Do you happen to know of any snug little room,
  • with, say, about four beds in it? How many dormitories are there?"
  • "Five--there's one with three beds in it, only it belongs to three
  • chaps."
  • "I believe in the equal distribution of property. We will go to
  • Comrade Outwood and stake out another claim."
  • Mr. Outwood received them even more beamingly than before. "Yes,
  • Smith?" he said.
  • "We must apologise for disturbing you, sir----"
  • "Not at all, Smith, not at all! I like the boys in my house to come to
  • me when they wish for my advice or help."
  • "We were wondering, sir, if you would have any objection to Jackson,
  • Jellicoe and myself sharing the dormitory with the three beds in it. A
  • very warm friendship--" explained Psmith, patting the gurgling
  • Jellicoe kindly on the shoulder, "has sprung up between Jackson,
  • Jellicoe and myself."
  • "You make friends easily, Smith. I like to see it--I like to see it."
  • "And we can have the room, sir?"
  • "Certainly--certainly! Tell the matron as you go down."
  • "And now," said Psmith, as they returned to the study, "we may say
  • that we are in a fairly winning position. A vote of thanks to Comrade
  • Jellicoe for his valuable assistance."
  • "You _are_ a chap!" said Jellicoe.
  • The handle began to revolve again.
  • "That door," said Psmith, "is getting a perfect incubus! It cuts into
  • one's leisure cruelly."
  • This time it was a small boy. "They told me to come up and tell you to
  • come down," he said.
  • Psmith looked at him searchingly through his eyeglass.
  • "Who?"
  • "The senior day-room chaps."
  • "Spiller?"
  • "Spiller and Robinson and Stone, and some other chaps."
  • "They want us to speak to them?"
  • "They told me to come up and tell you to come down."
  • "Go and give Comrade Spiller our compliments and say that we can't
  • come down, but shall be delighted to see him up here. Things," he
  • said, as the messenger departed, "are beginning to move. Better leave
  • the door open, I think; it will save trouble. Ah, come in, Comrade
  • Spiller, what can we do for you?"
  • Spiller advanced into the study; the others waited outside, crowding
  • in the doorway.
  • "Look here," said Spiller, "are you going to clear out of here or
  • not?"
  • "After Mr. Outwood's kindly thought in giving us the room? You suggest
  • a black and ungrateful action, Comrade Spiller."
  • "You'll get it hot, if you don't."
  • "We'll risk it," said Mike.
  • Jellicoe giggled in the background; the drama in the atmosphere
  • appealed to him. His was a simple and appreciative mind.
  • "Come on, you chaps," cried Spiller suddenly.
  • There was an inward rush on the enemy's part, but Mike had been
  • watching. He grabbed Spiller by the shoulders and ran him back against
  • the advancing crowd. For a moment the doorway was blocked, then the
  • weight and impetus of Mike and Spiller prevailed, the enemy gave back,
  • and Mike, stepping into the room again, slammed the door and locked
  • it.
  • "A neat piece of work," said Psmith approvingly, adjusting his tie at
  • the looking-glass. "The preliminaries may now be considered over, the
  • first shot has been fired. The dogs of war are now loose."
  • A heavy body crashed against the door.
  • "They'll have it down," said Jellicoe.
  • "We must act, Comrade Jackson! Might I trouble you just to turn that
  • key quietly, and the handle, and then to stand by for the next
  • attack."
  • There was a scrambling of feet in the passage outside, and then a
  • repetition of the onslaught on the door. This time, however, the door,
  • instead of resisting, swung open, and the human battering-ram
  • staggered through into the study. Mike, turning after re-locking the
  • door, was just in time to see Psmith, with a display of energy of
  • which one would not have believed him capable, grip the invader
  • scientifically by an arm and a leg.
  • Mike jumped to help, but it was needless; the captive was already
  • on the window-sill. As Mike arrived, Psmith dropped him on to the
  • flower-bed below.
  • Psmith closed the window gently and turned to Jellicoe. "Who was our
  • guest?" he asked, dusting the knees of his trousers where they had
  • pressed against the wall.
  • "Robinson. I say, you _are_ a chap!"
  • "Robinson, was it? Well, we are always glad to see Comrade Robinson,
  • always. I wonder if anybody else is thinking of calling?"
  • Apparently frontal attack had been abandoned. Whisperings could be
  • heard in the corridor.
  • Somebody hammered on the door.
  • "Yes?" called Psmith patiently.
  • "You'd better come out, you know; you'll only get it hotter if you
  • don't."
  • "Leave us, Spiller; we would be alone."
  • A bell rang in the distance.
  • "Tea," said Jellicoe; "we shall have to go now."
  • "They won't do anything till after tea, I shouldn't think," said Mike.
  • "There's no harm in going out."
  • The passage was empty when they opened the door; the call to food was
  • evidently a thing not to be treated lightly by the enemy.
  • In the dining-room the beleaguered garrison were the object of general
  • attention. Everybody turned to look at them as they came in. It was
  • plain that the study episode had been a topic of conversation.
  • Spiller's face was crimson, and Robinson's coat-sleeve still bore
  • traces of garden mould.
  • Mike felt rather conscious of the eyes, but Psmith was in his element.
  • His demeanour throughout the meal was that of some whimsical monarch
  • condescending for a freak to revel with his humble subjects.
  • Towards the end of the meal Psmith scribbled a note and passed it to
  • Mike. It read: "Directly this is over, nip upstairs as quickly as you
  • can."
  • Mike followed the advice; they were first out of the room. When they
  • had been in the study a few moments, Jellicoe knocked at the door.
  • "Lucky you two cut away so quick," he said. "They were going to try
  • and get you into the senior day-room and scrag you there."
  • "This," said Psmith, leaning against the mantelpiece, "is exciting,
  • but it can't go on. We have got for our sins to be in this place for a
  • whole term, and if we are going to do the Hunted Fawn business all the
  • time, life in the true sense of the word will become an impossibility.
  • My nerves are so delicately attuned that the strain would simply reduce
  • them to hash. We are not prepared to carry on a long campaign--the thing
  • must be settled at once."
  • "Shall we go down to the senior day-room, and have it out?" said Mike.
  • "No, we will play the fixture on our own ground. I think we may take
  • it as tolerably certain that Comrade Spiller and his hired ruffians
  • will try to corner us in the dormitory to-night. Well, of course, we
  • could fake up some sort of barricade for the door, but then we should
  • have all the trouble over again to-morrow and the day after that.
  • Personally I don't propose to be chivvied about indefinitely like
  • this, so I propose that we let them come into the dormitory, and see
  • what happens. Is this meeting with me?"
  • "I think that's sound," said Mike. "We needn't drag Jellicoe into it."
  • "As a matter of fact--if you don't mind--" began that man of peace.
  • "Quite right," said Psmith; "this is not Comrade Jellicoe's scene at
  • all; he has got to spend the term in the senior day-room, whereas we
  • have our little wooden _châlet_ to retire to in times of stress.
  • Comrade Jellicoe must stand out of the game altogether. We shall be
  • glad of his moral support, but otherwise, _ne pas_. And now, as
  • there won't be anything doing till bedtime, I think I'll collar this
  • table and write home and tell my people that all is well with their
  • Rupert."
  • CHAPTER XXXV
  • UNPLEASANTNESS IN THE SMALL HOURS
  • Jellicoe, that human encyclopaedia, consulted on the probable
  • movements of the enemy, deposed that Spiller, retiring at ten, would
  • make for Dormitory One in the same passage, where Robinson also had a
  • bed. The rest of the opposing forces were distributed among other and
  • more distant rooms. It was probable, therefore, that Dormitory One
  • would be the rendezvous. As to the time when an attack might be
  • expected, it was unlikely that it would occur before half-past eleven.
  • Mr. Outwood went the round of the dormitories at eleven.
  • "And touching," said Psmith, "the matter of noise, must this business
  • be conducted in a subdued and _sotto voce_ manner, or may we let
  • ourselves go a bit here and there?"
  • "I shouldn't think old Outwood's likely to hear you--he sleeps miles
  • away on the other side of the house. He never hears anything. We often
  • rag half the night and nothing happens."
  • "This appears to be a thoroughly nice, well-conducted establishment.
  • What would my mother say if she could see her Rupert in the midst of
  • these reckless youths!"
  • "All the better," said Mike; "we don't want anybody butting in and
  • stopping the show before it's half started."
  • "Comrade Jackson's Berserk blood is up--I can hear it sizzling. I
  • quite agree these things are all very disturbing and painful, but it's
  • as well to do them thoroughly when one's once in for them. Is there
  • nobody else who might interfere with our gambols?"
  • "Barnes might," said Jellicoe, "only he won't."
  • "Who is Barnes?"
  • "Head of the house--a rotter. He's in a funk of Stone and Robinson;
  • they rag him; he'll simply sit tight."
  • "Then I think," said Psmith placidly, "we may look forward to a very
  • pleasant evening. Shall we be moving?"
  • Mr. Outwood paid his visit at eleven, as predicted by Jellicoe,
  • beaming vaguely into the darkness over a candle, and disappeared
  • again, closing the door.
  • "How about that door?" said Mike. "Shall we leave it open for them?"
  • "Not so, but far otherwise. If it's shut we shall hear them at it when
  • they come. Subject to your approval, Comrade Jackson, I have evolved
  • the following plan of action. I always ask myself on these occasions,
  • 'What would Napoleon have done?' I think Napoleon would have sat in a
  • chair by his washhand-stand, which is close to the door; he would have
  • posted you by your washhand-stand, and he would have instructed
  • Comrade Jellicoe, directly he heard the door-handle turned, to give
  • his celebrated imitation of a dormitory breathing heavily in its
  • sleep. He would then----"
  • "I tell you what," said Mike, "how about tying a string at the top of
  • the steps?"
  • "Yes, Napoleon would have done that, too. Hats off to Comrade Jackson,
  • the man with the big brain!"
  • The floor of the dormitory was below the level of the door. There were
  • three steps leading down to it. Psmith lit a candle and they examined
  • the ground. The leg of a wardrobe and the leg of Jellicoe's bed made
  • it possible for the string to be fastened in a satisfactory manner
  • across the lower step. Psmith surveyed the result with approval.
  • "Dashed neat!" he said. "Practically the sunken road which dished the
  • Cuirassiers at Waterloo. I seem to see Comrade Spiller coming one of
  • the finest purlers in the world's history."
  • "If they've got a candle----"
  • "They won't have. If they have, stand by with your water-jug and douse
  • it at once; then they'll charge forward and all will be well. If they
  • have no candle, fling the water at a venture--fire into the brown!
  • Lest we forget, I'll collar Comrade Jellicoe's jug now and keep it
  • handy. A couple of sheets would also not be amiss--we will enmesh the
  • enemy!"
  • "Right ho!" said Mike.
  • "These humane preparations being concluded," said Psmith, "we will
  • retire to our posts and wait. Comrade Jellicoe, don't forget to
  • breathe like an asthmatic sheep when you hear the door opened; they
  • may wait at the top of the steps, listening."
  • "You _are_ a chap!" said Jellicoe.
  • Waiting in the dark for something to happen is always a trying
  • experience, especially if, as on this occasion, silence is essential.
  • Mike found his thoughts wandering back to the vigil he had kept with
  • Mr. Wain at Wrykyn on the night when Wyatt had come in through the
  • window and found authority sitting on his bed, waiting for him. Mike
  • was tired after his journey, and he had begun to doze when he was
  • jerked back to wakefulness by the stealthy turning of the door-handle;
  • the faintest rustle from Psmith's direction followed, and a slight
  • giggle, succeeded by a series of deep breaths, showed that Jellicoe,
  • too, had heard the noise.
  • There was a creaking sound.
  • It was pitch-dark in the dormitory, but Mike could follow the invaders'
  • movements as clearly as if it had been broad daylight. They had opened
  • the door and were listening. Jellicoe's breathing grew more asthmatic;
  • he was flinging himself into his part with the whole-heartedness of the
  • true artist.
  • The creak was followed by a sound of whispering, then another creak.
  • The enemy had advanced to the top step.... Another creak.... The
  • vanguard had reached the second step.... In another moment----
  • CRASH!
  • And at that point the proceedings may be said to have formally opened.
  • A struggling mass bumped against Mike's shins as he rose from his
  • chair; he emptied his jug on to this mass, and a yell of anguish
  • showed that the contents had got to the right address.
  • Then a hand grabbed his ankle and he went down, a million sparks
  • dancing before his eyes as a fist, flying out at a venture, caught him
  • on the nose.
  • Mike had not been well-disposed towards the invaders before, but now
  • he ran amok, hitting out right and left at random. His right missed,
  • but his left went home hard on some portion of somebody's anatomy. A
  • kick freed his ankle and he staggered to his feet. At the same moment
  • a sudden increase in the general volume of noise spoke eloquently of
  • good work that was being put in by Psmith.
  • Even at that crisis, Mike could not help feeling that if a row of this
  • calibre did not draw Mr. Outwood from his bed, he must be an unusual
  • kind of house-master.
  • He plunged forward again with outstretched arms, and stumbled and fell
  • over one of the on-the-floor section of the opposing force. They
  • seized each other earnestly and rolled across the room till Mike,
  • contriving to secure his adversary's head, bumped it on the floor with
  • such abandon that, with a muffled yell, the other let go, and for the
  • second time he rose. As he did so he was conscious of a curious
  • thudding sound that made itself heard through the other assorted
  • noises of the battle.
  • All this time the fight had gone on in the blackest darkness, but now
  • a light shone on the proceedings. Interested occupants of other
  • dormitories, roused from their slumbers, had come to observe the
  • sport. They were crowding in the doorway with a candle.
  • By the light of this Mike got a swift view of the theatre of war. The
  • enemy appeared to number five. The warrior whose head Mike had bumped
  • on the floor was Robinson, who was sitting up feeling his skull in a
  • gingerly fashion. To Mike's right, almost touching him, was Stone. In
  • the direction of the door, Psmith, wielding in his right hand the cord
  • of a dressing-gown, was engaging the remaining three with a patient
  • smile. They were clad in pyjamas, and appeared to be feeling the
  • dressing-gown cord acutely.
  • The sudden light dazed both sides momentarily. The defence was the
  • first to recover, Mike, with a swing, upsetting Stone, and Psmith,
  • having seized and emptied Jellicoe's jug over Spiller, getting to work
  • again with the cord in a manner that roused the utmost enthusiasm of
  • the spectators.
  • [Illustration: PSMITH SEIZED AND EMPTIED JELLICOE'S JUG OVER SPILLER]
  • Agility seemed to be the leading feature of Psmith's tactics. He was
  • everywhere--on Mike's bed, on his own, on Jellicoe's (drawing a
  • passionate complaint from that non-combatant, on whose face he
  • inadvertently trod), on the floor--he ranged the room, sowing
  • destruction.
  • The enemy were disheartened; they had started with the idea that this
  • was to be a surprise attack, and it was disconcerting to find the
  • garrison armed at all points. Gradually they edged to the door, and a
  • final rush sent them through.
  • "Hold the door for a second," cried Psmith, and vanished. Mike was
  • alone in the doorway.
  • It was a situation which exactly suited his frame of mind; he stood
  • alone in direct opposition to the community into which Fate had
  • pitchforked him so abruptly. He liked the feeling; for the first time
  • since his father had given him his views upon school reports that
  • morning in the Easter holidays, he felt satisfied with life. He hoped,
  • outnumbered as he was, that the enemy would come on again and not give
  • the thing up in disgust; he wanted more.
  • On an occasion like this there is rarely anything approaching
  • concerted action on the part of the aggressors. When the attack came,
  • it was not a combined attack; Stone, who was nearest to the door, made
  • a sudden dash forward, and Mike hit him under the chin.
  • Stone drew back, and there was another interval for rest and
  • reflection.
  • It was interrupted by the reappearance of Psmith, who strolled back
  • along the passage swinging his dressing-gown cord as if it were some
  • clouded cane.
  • "Sorry to keep you waiting, Comrade Jackson," he said politely. "Duty
  • called me elsewhere. With the kindly aid of a guide who knows the lie
  • of the land, I have been making a short tour of the dormitories. I
  • have poured divers jugfuls of water over Comrade Spiller's bed,
  • Comrade Robinson's bed, Comrade Stone's--Spiller, Spiller, these are
  • harsh words; where you pick them up I can't think--not from me. Well,
  • well, I suppose there must be an end to the pleasantest of functions.
  • Good-night, good-night."
  • The door closed behind Mike and himself. For ten minutes shufflings
  • and whisperings went on in the corridor, but nobody touched the
  • handle.
  • Then there was a sound of retreating footsteps, and silence reigned.
  • On the following morning there was a notice on the house-board. It
  • ran:
  • INDOOR GAMES
  • Dormitory-raiders are informed that in future neither
  • Mr. Psmith nor Mr. Jackson will be at home to visitors.
  • This nuisance must now cease.
  • R. PSMITH.
  • M. JACKSON.
  • CHAPTER XXXVI
  • ADAIR
  • On the same morning Mike met Adair for the first time.
  • He was going across to school with Psmith and Jellicoe, when a group
  • of three came out of the gate of the house next door.
  • "That's Adair," said Jellicoe, "in the middle."
  • His voice had assumed a tone almost of awe.
  • "Who's Adair?" asked Mike.
  • "Captain of cricket, and lots of other things."
  • Mike could only see the celebrity's back. He had broad shoulders and
  • wiry, light hair, almost white. He walked well, as if he were used to
  • running. Altogether a fit-looking sort of man. Even Mike's jaundiced
  • eye saw that.
  • As a matter of fact, Adair deserved more than a casual glance. He was
  • that rare type, the natural leader. Many boys and men, if accident, or
  • the passage of time, places them in a position where they are expected
  • to lead, can handle the job without disaster; but that is a very
  • different thing from being a born leader. Adair was of the sort that
  • comes to the top by sheer force of character and determination. He
  • was not naturally clever at work, but he had gone at it with a dogged
  • resolution which had carried him up the school, and landed him high in
  • the Sixth. As a cricketer he was almost entirely self-taught. Nature
  • had given him a good eye, and left the thing at that. Adair's
  • doggedness had triumphed over her failure to do her work thoroughly.
  • At the cost of more trouble than most people give to their life-work
  • he had made himself into a bowler. He read the authorities, and
  • watched first-class players, and thought the thing out on his own
  • account, and he divided the art of bowling into three sections. First,
  • and most important--pitch. Second on the list--break. Third--pace. He
  • set himself to acquire pitch. He acquired it. Bowling at his own pace
  • and without any attempt at break, he could now drop the ball on an
  • envelope seven times out of ten.
  • Break was a more uncertain quantity. Sometimes he could get it at the
  • expense of pitch, sometimes at the expense of pace. Some days he could
  • get all three, and then he was an uncommonly bad man to face on
  • anything but a plumb wicket.
  • Running he had acquired in a similar manner. He had nothing
  • approaching style, but he had twice won the mile and half-mile at the
  • Sports off elegant runners, who knew all about stride and the correct
  • timing of the sprints and all the rest of it.
  • Briefly, he was a worker. He had heart.
  • A boy of Adair's type is always a force in a school. In a big public
  • school of six or seven hundred, his influence is felt less; but in a
  • small school like Sedleigh he is like a tidal wave, sweeping all
  • before him. There were two hundred boys at Sedleigh, and there was not
  • one of them in all probability who had not, directly or indirectly,
  • been influenced by Adair. As a small boy his sphere was not large, but
  • the effects of his work began to be apparent even then. It is human
  • nature to want to get something which somebody else obviously values
  • very much; and when it was observed by members of his form that Adair
  • was going to great trouble and inconvenience to secure a place in the
  • form eleven or fifteen, they naturally began to think, too, that it
  • was worth being in those teams. The consequence was that his form
  • always played hard. This made other forms play hard. And the net
  • result was that, when Adair succeeded to the captaincy of football
  • and cricket in the same year, Sedleigh, as Mr. Downing, Adair's
  • house-master and the nearest approach to a cricket-master that
  • Sedleigh possessed, had a fondness for saying, was a keen school.
  • As a whole, it both worked and played with energy.
  • All it wanted now was opportunity.
  • This Adair was determined to give it. He had that passionate fondness
  • for his school which every boy is popularly supposed to have, but
  • which really is implanted in about one in every thousand. The average
  • public-school boy _likes_ his school. He hopes it will lick
  • Bedford at footer and Malvern at cricket, but he rather bets it won't.
  • He is sorry to leave, and he likes going back at the end of the
  • holidays, but as for any passionate, deep-seated love of the place, he
  • would think it rather bad form than otherwise. If anybody came up to
  • him, slapped him on the back, and cried, "Come along, Jenkins, my boy!
  • Play up for the old school, Jenkins! The dear old school! The old
  • place you love so!" he would feel seriously ill.
  • Adair was the exception.
  • To Adair, Sedleigh was almost a religion. Both his parents were dead;
  • his guardian, with whom he spent the holidays, was a man with
  • neuralgia at one end of him and gout at the other; and the only really
  • pleasant times Adair had had, as far back as he could remember, he
  • owed to Sedleigh. The place had grown on him, absorbed him. Where
  • Mike, violently transplanted from Wrykyn, saw only a wretched little
  • hole not to be mentioned in the same breath with Wrykyn, Adair,
  • dreaming of the future, saw a colossal establishment, a public school
  • among public schools, a lump of human radium, shooting out Blues and
  • Balliol Scholars year after year without ceasing.
  • It would not be so till long after he was gone and forgotten, but he
  • did not mind that. His devotion to Sedleigh was purely unselfish. He
  • did not want fame. All he worked for was that the school should grow
  • and grow, keener and better at games and more prosperous year by year,
  • till it should take its rank among _the_ schools, and to be an
  • Old Sedleighan should be a badge passing its owner everywhere.
  • "He's captain of cricket and footer," said Jellicoe impressively.
  • "He's in the shooting eight. He's won the mile and half two years
  • running. He would have boxed at Aldershot last term, only he sprained
  • his wrist. And he plays fives jolly well!"
  • "Sort of little tin god," said Mike, taking a violent dislike to Adair
  • from that moment.
  • Mike's actual acquaintance with this all-round man dated from the
  • dinner-hour that day. Mike was walking to the house with Psmith.
  • Psmith was a little ruffled on account of a slight passage-of-arms he
  • had had with his form-master during morning school.
  • "'There's a P before the Smith,' I said to him. 'Ah, P. Smith, I see,'
  • replied the goat. 'Not Peasmith,' I replied, exercising wonderful
  • self-restraint, 'just Psmith.' It took me ten minutes to drive the
  • thing into the man's head; and when I _had_ driven it in, he sent
  • me out of the room for looking at him through my eye-glass. Comrade
  • Jackson, I fear me we have fallen among bad men. I suspect that we are
  • going to be much persecuted by scoundrels."
  • "Both you chaps play cricket, I suppose?"
  • They turned. It was Adair. Seeing him face to face, Mike was aware of
  • a pair of very bright blue eyes and a square jaw. In any other place
  • and mood he would have liked Adair at sight. His prejudice, however,
  • against all things Sedleighan was too much for him. "I don't," he said
  • shortly.
  • "Haven't you _ever_ played?"
  • "My little sister and I sometimes play with a soft ball at home."
  • Adair looked sharply at him. A temper was evidently one of his
  • numerous qualities.
  • "Oh," he said. "Well, perhaps you wouldn't mind turning out this
  • afternoon and seeing what you can do with a hard ball--if you can
  • manage without your little sister."
  • "I should think the form at this place would be about on a level with
  • hers. But I don't happen to be playing cricket, as I think I told
  • you."
  • Adair's jaw grew squarer than ever. Mike was wearing a gloomy scowl.
  • Psmith joined suavely in the dialogue.
  • "My dear old comrades," he said, "don't let us brawl over this matter.
  • This is a time for the honeyed word, the kindly eye, and the pleasant
  • smile. Let me explain to Comrade Adair. Speaking for Comrade Jackson
  • and myself, we should both be delighted to join in the mimic warfare
  • of our National Game, as you suggest, only the fact is, we happen to
  • be the Young Archaeologists. We gave in our names last night. When you
  • are being carried back to the pavilion after your century against
  • Loamshire--do you play Loamshire?--we shall be grubbing in the hard
  • ground for ruined abbeys. The old choice between Pleasure and Duty,
  • Comrade Adair. A Boy's Cross-Roads."
  • "Then you won't play?"
  • "No," said Mike.
  • "Archaeology," said Psmith, with a deprecatory wave of the hand, "will
  • brook no divided allegiance from her devotees."
  • Adair turned, and walked on.
  • Scarcely had he gone, when another voice hailed them with precisely
  • the same question.
  • "Both you fellows are going to play cricket, eh?"
  • It was a master. A short, wiry little man with a sharp nose and a
  • general resemblance, both in manner and appearance, to an excitable
  • bullfinch.
  • "I saw Adair speaking to you. I suppose you will both play. I like
  • every new boy to begin at once. The more new blood we have, the
  • better. We want keenness here. We are, above all, a keen school. I
  • want every boy to be keen."
  • "We are, sir," said Psmith, with fervour.
  • "Excellent."
  • "On archaeology."
  • Mr. Downing--for it was no less a celebrity--started, as one who
  • perceives a loathly caterpillar in his salad.
  • "Archaeology!"
  • "We gave in our names to Mr. Outwood last night, sir. Archaeology is a
  • passion with us, sir. When we heard that there was a society here, we
  • went singing about the house."
  • "I call it an unnatural pursuit for boys," said Mr. Downing
  • vehemently. "I don't like it. I tell you I don't like it. It is not
  • for me to interfere with one of my colleagues on the staff, but I tell
  • you frankly that in my opinion it is an abominable waste of time for a
  • boy. It gets him into idle, loafing habits."
  • "I never loaf, sir," said Psmith.
  • "I was not alluding to you in particular. I was referring to the
  • principle of the thing. A boy ought to be playing cricket with other
  • boys, not wandering at large about the country, probably smoking and
  • going into low public-houses."
  • "A very wild lot, sir, I fear, the Archaeological Society here,"
  • sighed Psmith, shaking his head.
  • "If you choose to waste your time, I suppose I can't hinder you. But
  • in my opinion it is foolery, nothing else."
  • He stumped off.
  • "Now _he's_ cross," said Psmith, looking after him. "I'm afraid
  • we're getting ourselves disliked here."
  • "Good job, too."
  • "At any rate, Comrade Outwood loves us. Let's go on and see what sort
  • of a lunch that large-hearted fossil-fancier is going to give us."
  • CHAPTER XXXVII
  • MIKE FINDS OCCUPATION
  • There was more than one moment during the first fortnight of term when
  • Mike found himself regretting the attitude he had imposed upon himself
  • with regard to Sedleighan cricket. He began to realise the eternal
  • truth of the proverb about half a loaf and no bread. In the first
  • flush of his resentment against his new surroundings he had refused to
  • play cricket. And now he positively ached for a game. Any sort of a
  • game. An innings for a Kindergarten _v._ the Second Eleven of a
  • Home of Rest for Centenarians would have soothed him. There were
  • times, when the sun shone, and he caught sight of white flannels on a
  • green ground, and heard the "plonk" of bat striking ball, when he felt
  • like rushing to Adair and shouting, "I _will_ be good. I was in
  • the Wrykyn team three years, and had an average of over fifty the last
  • two seasons. Lead me to the nearest net, and let me feel a bat in my
  • hands again."
  • But every time he shrank from such a climb down. It couldn't be done.
  • What made it worse was that he saw, after watching behind the nets
  • once or twice, that Sedleigh cricket was not the childish burlesque of
  • the game which he had been rash enough to assume that it must be.
  • Numbers do not make good cricket. They only make the presence of good
  • cricketers more likely, by the law of averages.
  • Mike soon saw that cricket was by no means an unknown art at Sedleigh.
  • Adair, to begin with, was a very good bowler indeed. He was not a
  • Burgess, but Burgess was the only Wrykyn bowler whom, in his three
  • years' experience of the school, Mike would have placed above him. He
  • was a long way better than Neville-Smith, and Wyatt, and Milton, and
  • the others who had taken wickets for Wrykyn.
  • The batting was not so good, but there were some quite capable men.
  • Barnes, the head of Outwood's, he who preferred not to interfere with
  • Stone and Robinson, was a mild, rather timid-looking youth--not
  • unlike what Mr. Outwood must have been as a boy--but he knew how to
  • keep balls out of his wicket. He was a good bat of the old plodding
  • type.
  • Stone and Robinson themselves, that swash-buckling pair, who now
  • treated Mike and Psmith with cold but consistent politeness, were both
  • fair batsmen, and Stone was a good slow bowler.
  • There were other exponents of the game, mostly in Downing's house.
  • Altogether, quite worthy colleagues even for a man who had been a star
  • at Wrykyn.
  • * * * * *
  • One solitary overture Mike made during that first fortnight. He did
  • not repeat the experiment. It was on a Thursday afternoon, after
  • school. The day was warm, but freshened by an almost imperceptible
  • breeze. The air was full of the scent of the cut grass which lay in
  • little heaps behind the nets. This is the real cricket scent, which
  • calls to one like the very voice of the game.
  • Mike, as he sat there watching, could stand it no longer.
  • He went up to Adair.
  • "May I have an innings at this net?" he asked. He was embarrassed and
  • nervous, and was trying not to show it. The natural result was that
  • his manner was offensively abrupt.
  • Adair was taking off his pads after his innings. He looked up. "This
  • net," it may be observed, was the first eleven net.
  • "What?" he said.
  • Mike repeated his request. More abruptly this time, from increased
  • embarrassment.
  • "This is the first eleven net," said Adair coldly. "Go in after Lodge
  • over there."
  • "Over there" was the end net, where frenzied novices were bowling on a
  • corrugated pitch to a red-haired youth with enormous feet, who looked
  • as if he were taking his first lesson at the game.
  • Mike walked away without a word.
  • * * * * *
  • The Archaeological Society expeditions, even though they carried with
  • them the privilege of listening to Psmith's views on life, proved but
  • a poor substitute for cricket. Psmith, who had no counter-attraction
  • shouting to him that he ought to be elsewhere, seemed to enjoy them
  • hugely, but Mike almost cried sometimes from boredom. It was not
  • always possible to slip away from the throng, for Mr. Outwood
  • evidently looked upon them as among the very faithful, and kept them
  • by his aide.
  • Mike on these occasions was silent and jumpy, his brow "sicklied o'er
  • with the pale cast of care." But Psmith followed his leader with the
  • pleased and indulgent air of a father whose infant son is showing him
  • round the garden. Psmith's attitude towards archaeological research
  • struck a new note in the history of that neglected science. He was
  • amiable, but patronising. He patronised fossils, and he patronised
  • ruins. If he had been confronted with the Great Pyramid, he would have
  • patronised that.
  • He seemed to be consumed by a thirst for knowledge.
  • That this was not altogether a genuine thirst was proved on the third
  • expedition. Mr. Outwood and his band were pecking away at the site of
  • an old Roman camp. Psmith approached Mike.
  • "Having inspired confidence," he said, "by the docility of our
  • demeanour, let us slip away, and brood apart for awhile. Roman camps,
  • to be absolutely accurate, give me the pip. And I never want to see
  • another putrid fossil in my life. Let us find some shady nook where a
  • man may lie on his back for a bit."
  • Mike, over whom the proceedings connected with the Roman camp had long
  • since begun to shed a blue depression, offered no opposition, and they
  • strolled away down the hill.
  • Looking back, they saw that the archaeologists were still hard at it.
  • Their departure had passed unnoticed.
  • "A fatiguing pursuit, this grubbing for mementoes of the past," said
  • Psmith. "And, above all, dashed bad for the knees of the trousers.
  • Mine are like some furrowed field. It's a great grief to a man of
  • refinement, I can tell you, Comrade Jackson. Ah, this looks a likely
  • spot."
  • They had passed through a gate into the field beyond. At the further
  • end there was a brook, shaded by trees and running with a pleasant
  • sound over pebbles.
  • "Thus far," said Psmith, hitching up the knees of his trousers, and
  • sitting down, "and no farther. We will rest here awhile, and listen to
  • the music of the brook. In fact, unless you have anything important to
  • say, I rather think I'll go to sleep. In this busy life of ours these
  • naps by the wayside are invaluable. Call me in about an hour." And
  • Psmith, heaving the comfortable sigh of the worker who by toil has
  • earned rest, lay down, with his head against a mossy tree-stump, and
  • closed his eyes.
  • Mike sat on for a few minutes, listening to the water and making
  • centuries in his mind, and then, finding this a little dull, he got
  • up, jumped the brook, and began to explore the wood on the other side.
  • He had not gone many yards when a dog emerged suddenly from the
  • undergrowth, and began to bark vigorously at him.
  • Mike liked dogs, and, on acquaintance, they always liked him. But when
  • you meet a dog in some one else's wood, it is as well not to stop in
  • order that you may get to understand each other. Mike began to thread
  • his way back through the trees.
  • He was too late.
  • "Stop! What the dickens are you doing here?" shouted a voice behind
  • him.
  • In the same situation a few years before, Mike would have carried on,
  • and trusted to speed to save him. But now there seemed a lack of
  • dignity in the action. He came back to where the man was standing.
  • "I'm sorry if I'm trespassing," he said. "I was just having a look
  • round."
  • "The dickens you--Why, you're Jackson!"
  • Mike looked at him. He was a short, broad young man with a fair
  • moustache. Mike knew that he had seen him before somewhere, but he
  • could not place him.
  • "I played against you, for the Free Foresters last summer. In passing,
  • you seem to be a bit of a free forester yourself, dancing in among my
  • nesting pheasants."
  • "I'm frightfully sorry."
  • "That's all right. Where do you spring from?"
  • "Of course--I remember you now. You're Prendergast. You made
  • fifty-eight not out."
  • "Thanks. I was afraid the only thing you would remember about me was
  • that you took a century mostly off my bowling."
  • "You ought to have had me second ball, only cover dropped it."
  • "Don't rake up forgotten tragedies. How is it you're not at Wrykyn?
  • What are you doing down here?"
  • "I've left Wrykyn."
  • Prendergast suddenly changed the conversation. When a fellow tells you
  • that he has left school unexpectedly, it is not always tactful to
  • inquire the reason. He began to talk about himself.
  • "I hang out down here. I do a little farming and a good deal of
  • pottering about."
  • "Get any cricket?" asked Mike, turning to the subject next his heart.
  • "Only village. Very keen, but no great shakes. By the way, how are you
  • off for cricket now? Have you ever got a spare afternoon?"
  • Mike's heart leaped.
  • "Any Wednesday or Saturday. Look here, I'll tell you how it is."
  • And he told how matters stood with him.
  • "So, you see," he concluded, "I'm supposed to be hunting for ruins and
  • things"--Mike's ideas on the subject of archaeology were vague--"but I
  • could always slip away. We all start out together, but I could nip
  • back, get on to my bike--I've got it down here--and meet you anywhere
  • you liked. By Jove, I'm simply dying for a game. I can hardly keep my
  • hands off a bat."
  • "I'll give you all you want. What you'd better do is to ride straight
  • to Lower Borlock--that's the name of the place--and I'll meet you on
  • the ground. Any one will tell you where Lower Borlock is. It's just
  • off the London road. There's a sign-post where you turn off. Can you
  • come next Saturday?"
  • "Rather. I suppose you can fix me up with a bat and pads? I don't want
  • to bring mine."
  • "I'll lend you everything. I say, you know, we can't give you a Wrykyn
  • wicket. The Lower Borlock pitch isn't a shirt-front."
  • "I'll play on a rockery, if you want me to," said Mike.
  • * * * * *
  • "You're going to what?" asked Psmith, sleepily, on being awakened and
  • told the news.
  • "I'm going to play cricket, for a village near here. I say, don't tell
  • a soul, will you? I don't want it to get about, or I may get lugged in
  • to play for the school."
  • "My lips are sealed. I think I'll come and watch you. Cricket I
  • dislike, but watching cricket is one of the finest of Britain's manly
  • sports. I'll borrow Jellicoe's bicycle."
  • * * * * *
  • That Saturday, Lower Borlock smote the men of Chidford hip and thigh.
  • Their victory was due to a hurricane innings of seventy-five by a
  • new-comer to the team, M. Jackson.
  • CHAPTER XXXVIII
  • THE FIRE BRIGADE MEETING
  • Cricket is the great safety-valve. If you like the game, and are in a
  • position to play it at least twice a week, life can never be entirely
  • grey. As time went on, and his average for Lower Borlock reached the
  • fifties and stayed there, Mike began, though he would not have
  • admitted it, to enjoy himself. It was not Wrykyn, but it was a very
  • decent substitute.
  • The only really considerable element making for discomfort now was Mr.
  • Downing. By bad luck it was in his form that Mike had been placed on
  • arrival; and Mr. Downing, never an easy form-master to get on with,
  • proved more than usually difficult in his dealings with Mike.
  • They had taken a dislike to each other at their first meeting; and it
  • grew with further acquaintance. To Mike, Mr. Downing was all that a
  • master ought not to be, fussy, pompous, and openly influenced in his
  • official dealings with his form by his own private likes and dislikes.
  • To Mr. Downing, Mike was simply an unamiable loafer, who did nothing
  • for the school and apparently had none of the instincts which should
  • be implanted in the healthy boy. Mr. Downing was rather strong on the
  • healthy boy.
  • The two lived in a state of simmering hostility, punctuated at
  • intervals by crises, which usually resulted in Lower Borlock having to
  • play some unskilled labourer in place of their star batsman, employed
  • doing "over-time."
  • One of the most acute of these crises, and the most important, in that
  • it was the direct cause of Mike's appearance in Sedleigh cricket, had
  • to do with the third weekly meeting of the School Fire Brigade.
  • It may be remembered that this well-supported institution was under
  • Mr. Downing's special care. It was, indeed, his pet hobby and the
  • apple of his eye.
  • Just as you had to join the Archaeological Society to secure the
  • esteem of Mr. Outwood, so to become a member of the Fire Brigade was a
  • safe passport to the regard of Mr. Downing. To show a keenness for
  • cricket was good, but to join the Fire Brigade was best of all.
  • The Brigade was carefully organised. At its head was Mr. Downing,
  • a sort of high priest; under him was a captain, and under the captain
  • a vice-captain. These two officials were those sportive allies, Stone
  • and Robinson, of Outwood's house, who, having perceived at a very early
  • date the gorgeous opportunities for ragging which the Brigade offered
  • to its members, had joined young and worked their way up.
  • Under them were the rank and file, about thirty in all, of whom
  • perhaps seven were earnest workers, who looked on the Brigade in the
  • right, or Downing, spirit. The rest were entirely frivolous.
  • The weekly meetings were always full of life and excitement.
  • At this point it is as well to introduce Sammy to the reader.
  • Sammy, short for Sampson, was a young bull-terrier belonging to Mr.
  • Downing. If it is possible for a man to have two apples of his eye,
  • Sammy was the other. He was a large, light-hearted dog with a white
  • coat, an engaging expression, the tongue of an ant-eater, and a manner
  • which was a happy blend of hurricane and circular saw. He had long
  • legs, a tenor voice, and was apparently made of india-rubber.
  • Sammy was a great favourite in the school, and a particular friend of
  • Mike's, the Wrykynian being always a firm ally of every dog he met
  • after two minutes' acquaintance.
  • In passing, Jellicoe owned a clock-work rat, much in request during
  • French lessons.
  • We will now proceed to the painful details.
  • * * * * *
  • The meetings of the Fire Brigade were held after school in Mr.
  • Downing's form-room. The proceedings always began in the same way, by
  • the reading of the minutes of the last meeting. After that the
  • entertainment varied according to whether the members happened to be
  • fertile or not in ideas for the disturbing of the peace.
  • To-day they were in very fair form.
  • As soon as Mr. Downing had closed the minute-book, Wilson, of the
  • School House, held up his hand.
  • "Well, Wilson?"
  • "Please, sir, couldn't we have a uniform for the Brigade?"
  • "A uniform?" Mr. Downing pondered
  • "Red, with green stripes, sir,"
  • Red, with a thin green stripe, was the Sedleigh colour.
  • "Shall I put it to the vote, sir?" asked Stone.
  • "One moment, Stone."
  • "Those in favour of the motion move to the left, those against it to
  • the right."
  • A scuffling of feet, a slamming of desk-lids and an upset blackboard,
  • and the meeting had divided.
  • Mr. Downing rapped irritably on his desk.
  • "Sit down!" he said, "sit down! I won't have this noise and
  • disturbance. Stone, sit down--Wilson, get back to your place."
  • "Please, sir, the motion is carried by twenty-five votes to six."
  • "Please, sir, may I go and get measured this evening?"
  • "Please, sir----"
  • "Si-_lence_! The idea of a uniform is, of course, out of the
  • question."
  • "Oo-oo-oo-oo, sir-r-r!"
  • "Be _quiet!_ Entirely out of the question. We cannot plunge into
  • needless expense. Stone, listen to me. I cannot have this noise and
  • disturbance! Another time when a point arises it must be settled by a
  • show of hands. Well, Wilson?"
  • "Please, sir, may we have helmets?"
  • "Very useful as a protection against falling timbers, sir," said
  • Robinson.
  • "I don't think my people would be pleased, sir, if they knew I was
  • going out to fires without a helmet," said Stone.
  • The whole strength of the company: "Please, sir, may we have helmets?"
  • "Those in favour--" began Stone.
  • Mr. Downing banged on his desk. "Silence! Silence!! Silence!!! Helmets
  • are, of course, perfectly preposterous."
  • "Oo-oo-oo-oo, sir-r-r!"
  • "But, sir, the danger!"
  • "Please, sir, the falling timbers!"
  • The Fire Brigade had been in action once and once only in the memory
  • of man, and that time it was a haystack which had burnt itself out
  • just as the rescuers had succeeded in fastening the hose to the
  • hydrant.
  • "Silence!"
  • "Then, please, sir, couldn't we have an honour cap? It wouldn't be
  • expensive, and it would be just as good as a helmet for all the
  • timbers that are likely to fall on our heads."
  • Mr. Downing smiled a wry smile.
  • "Our Wilson is facetious," he remarked frostily.
  • "Sir, no, sir! I wasn't facetious! Or couldn't we have footer-tops,
  • like the first fifteen have? They----"
  • "Wilson, leave the room!"
  • "Sir, _please_, sir!"
  • "This moment, Wilson. And," as he reached the door, "do me one hundred
  • lines."
  • A pained "OO-oo-oo, sir-r-r," was cut off by the closing door.
  • Mr. Downing proceeded to improve the occasion. "I deplore this growing
  • spirit of flippancy," he said. "I tell you I deplore it! It is not
  • right! If this Fire Brigade is to be of solid use, there must be less
  • of this flippancy. We must have keenness. I want you boys above all to
  • be keen. I--What is that noise?"
  • From the other side of the door proceeded a sound like water gurgling
  • from a bottle, mingled with cries half-suppressed, as if somebody were
  • being prevented from uttering them by a hand laid over his mouth. The
  • sufferer appeared to have a high voice.
  • There was a tap at the door and Mike walked in. He was not alone.
  • Those near enough to see, saw that he was accompanied by Jellicoe's
  • clock-work rat, which moved rapidly over the floor in the direction of
  • the opposite wall.
  • "May I fetch a book from my desk, sir?" asked Mike.
  • "Very well--be quick, Jackson; we are busy."
  • Being interrupted in one of his addresses to the Brigade irritated Mr.
  • Downing.
  • The muffled cries grew more distinct.
  • "What--is--that--noise?" shrilled Mr. Downing.
  • "Noise, sir?" asked Mike, puzzled.
  • "I think it's something outside the window, sir," said Stone
  • helpfully.
  • "A bird, I think, sir," said Robinson.
  • "Don't be absurd!" snapped Mr. Downing. "It's outside the door.
  • Wilson!"
  • "Yes, sir?" said a voice "off."
  • "Are you making that whining noise?"
  • "Whining noise, sir? No, sir, I'm not making a whining noise."
  • "What _sort_ of noise, sir?" inquired Mike, as many Wrykynians
  • had asked before him. It was a question invented by Wrykyn for use in
  • just such a case as this.
  • "I do not propose," said Mr. Downing acidly, "to imitate the noise;
  • you can all hear it perfectly plainly. It is a curious whining noise."
  • "They are mowing the cricket field, sir," said the invisible Wilson.
  • "Perhaps that's it."
  • "It may be one of the desks squeaking, sir," put in Stone. "They do
  • sometimes."
  • "Or somebody's boots, sir," added Robinson.
  • "Silence! Wilson?"
  • "Yes, sir?" bellowed the unseen one.
  • "Don't shout at me from the corridor like that. Come in."
  • "Yes, sir!"
  • As he spoke the muffled whining changed suddenly to a series of tenor
  • shrieks, and the india-rubber form of Sammy bounded into the room like
  • an excited kangaroo.
  • Willing hands had by this time deflected the clockwork rat from the
  • wall to which it had been steering, and pointed it up the alley-way
  • between the two rows of desks. Mr. Downing, rising from his place, was
  • just in time to see Sammy with a last leap spring on his prey and
  • begin worrying it.
  • Chaos reigned.
  • "A rat!" shouted Robinson.
  • The twenty-three members of the Brigade who were not earnest instantly
  • dealt with the situation, each in the manner that seemed proper to
  • him. Some leaped on to forms, others flung books, all shouted. It was
  • a stirring, bustling scene.
  • Sammy had by this time disposed of the clock-work rat, and was now
  • standing, like Marius, among the ruins barking triumphantly.
  • The banging on Mr. Downing's desk resembled thunder. It rose above all
  • the other noises till in time they gave up the competition and died
  • away.
  • Mr. Downing shot out orders, threats, and penalties with the rapidity
  • of a Maxim gun.
  • "Stone, sit down! Donovan, if you do not sit down, you will be
  • severely punished. Henderson, one hundred lines for gross disorder!
  • Windham, the same! Go to your seat, Vincent. What are you doing,
  • Broughton-Knight? I will not have this disgraceful noise and disorder!
  • The meeting is at an end; go quietly from the room, all of you.
  • Jackson and Wilson, remain. _Quietly_, I said, Durand! Don't
  • shuffle your feet in that abominable way."
  • Crash!
  • "Wolferstan, I distinctly saw you upset that black-board with a
  • movement of your hand--one hundred lines. Go quietly from the room,
  • everybody."
  • The meeting dispersed.
  • "Jackson and Wilson, come here. What's the meaning of this disgraceful
  • conduct? Put that dog out of the room, Jackson."
  • Mike removed the yelling Sammy and shut the door on him.
  • "Well, Wilson?"
  • "Please, sir, I was playing with a clock-work rat----"
  • "What business have you to be playing with clock-work rats?"
  • "Then I remembered," said Mike, "that I had left my Horace in my desk,
  • so I came in----"
  • "And by a fluke, sir," said Wilson, as one who tells of strange
  • things, "the rat happened to be pointing in the same direction, so he
  • came in, too."
  • "I met Sammy on the gravel outside and he followed me."
  • "I tried to collar him, but when you told me to come in, sir, I had to
  • let him go, and he came in after the rat."
  • It was plain to Mr. Downing that the burden of sin was shared equally
  • by both culprits. Wilson had supplied the rat, Mike the dog; but Mr.
  • Downing liked Wilson and disliked Mike. Wilson was in the Fire
  • Brigade, frivolous at times, it was true, but nevertheless a member.
  • Also he kept wicket for the school. Mike was a member of the
  • Archaeological Society, and had refused to play cricket.
  • Mr. Downing allowed these facts to influence him in passing sentence.
  • "One hundred lines, Wilson," he said. "You may go."
  • Wilson departed with the air of a man who has had a great deal of fun,
  • and paid very little for it.
  • Mr. Downing turned to Mike. "You will stay in on Saturday afternoon,
  • Jackson; it will interfere with your Archaeological studies, I fear,
  • but it may teach you that we have no room at Sedleigh for boys who
  • spend their time loafing about and making themselves a nuisance. We
  • are a keen school; this is no place for boys who do nothing but waste
  • their time. That will do, Jackson."
  • And Mr. Downing walked out of the room. In affairs of this kind a
  • master has a habit of getting the last word.
  • CHAPTER XXXIX
  • ACHILLES LEAVES HIS TENT
  • They say misfortunes never come singly. As Mike sat brooding over his
  • wrongs in his study, after the Sammy incident, Jellicoe came into the
  • room, and, without preamble, asked for the loan of a sovereign.
  • When one has been in the habit of confining one's lendings and
  • borrowings to sixpences and shillings, a request for a sovereign comes
  • as something of a blow.
  • "What on earth for?" asked Mike.
  • "I say, do you mind if I don't tell you? I don't want to tell anybody.
  • The fact is, I'm in a beastly hole."
  • "Oh, sorry," said Mike. "As a matter of fact, I do happen to have a
  • quid. You can freeze on to it, if you like. But it's about all I have
  • got, so don't be shy about paying it back."
  • Jellicoe was profuse in his thanks, and disappeared in a cloud of
  • gratitude.
  • Mike felt that Fate was treating him badly. Being kept in on Saturday
  • meant that he would be unable to turn out for Little Borlock against
  • Claythorpe, the return match. In the previous game he had scored
  • ninety-eight, and there was a lob bowler in the Claythorpe ranks whom
  • he was particularly anxious to meet again. Having to yield a sovereign
  • to Jellicoe--why on earth did the man want all that?--meant that,
  • unless a carefully worded letter to his brother Bob at Oxford had the
  • desired effect, he would be practically penniless for weeks.
  • In a gloomy frame of mind he sat down to write to Bob, who was playing
  • regularly for the 'Varsity this season, and only the previous week had
  • made a century against Sussex, so might be expected to be in a
  • sufficiently softened mood to advance the needful. (Which, it may be
  • stated at once, he did, by return of post.)
  • Mike was struggling with the opening sentences of this letter--he was
  • never a very ready writer--when Stone and Robinson burst into the
  • room.
  • Mike put down his pen, and got up. He was in warlike mood, and
  • welcomed the intrusion. If Stone and Robinson wanted battle, they
  • should have it.
  • But the motives of the expedition were obviously friendly. Stone
  • beamed. Robinson was laughing.
  • "You're a sportsman," said Robinson.
  • "What did he give you?" asked Stone.
  • They sat down, Robinson on the table, Stone in Psmith' s deck-chair.
  • Mike's heart warmed to them. The little disturbance in the dormitory
  • was a thing of the past, done with, forgotten, contemporary with
  • Julius Caesar. He felt that he, Stone and Robinson must learn to know
  • and appreciate one another.
  • There was, as a matter of fact, nothing much wrong with Stone and
  • Robinson. They were just ordinary raggers of the type found at every
  • public school, small and large. They were absolutely free from brain.
  • They had a certain amount of muscle, and a vast store of animal
  • spirits. They looked on school life purely as a vehicle for ragging.
  • The Stones and Robinsons are the swashbucklers of the school world.
  • They go about, loud and boisterous, with a whole-hearted and cheerful
  • indifference to other people's feelings, treading on the toes of their
  • neighbour and shoving him off the pavement, and always with an eye
  • wide open for any adventure. As to the kind of adventure, they are not
  • particular so long as it promises excitement. Sometimes they go
  • through their whole school career without accident. More often they
  • run up against a snag in the shape of some serious-minded and muscular
  • person who objects to having his toes trodden on and being shoved off
  • the pavement, and then they usually sober down, to the mutual
  • advantage of themselves and the rest of the community.
  • One's opinion of this type of youth varies according to one's point of
  • view. Small boys whom they had occasion to kick, either from pure high
  • spirits or as a punishment for some slip from the narrow path which
  • the ideal small boy should tread, regarded Stone and Robinson as
  • bullies of the genuine "Eric" and "St. Winifred's" brand. Masters were
  • rather afraid of them. Adair had a smouldering dislike for them. They
  • were useful at cricket, but apt not to take Sedleigh as seriously as
  • he could have wished.
  • As for Mike, he now found them pleasant company, and began to get out
  • the tea-things.
  • "Those Fire Brigade meetings," said Stone, "are a rag. You can do what
  • you like, and you never get more than a hundred lines."
  • "Don't you!" said Mike. "I got Saturday afternoon."
  • "What!"
  • "Is Wilson in too?"
  • "No. He got a hundred lines."
  • Stone and Robinson were quite concerned.
  • "What a beastly swindle!"
  • "That's because you don't play cricket. Old Downing lets you do what
  • you like if you join the Fire Brigade and play cricket."
  • "'We are, above all, a keen school,'" quoted Stone. "Don't you ever
  • play?"
  • "I have played a bit," said Mike.
  • "Well, why don't you have a shot? We aren't such flyers here. If you
  • know one end of a bat from the other, you could get into some sort of
  • a team. Were you at school anywhere before you came here?"
  • "I was at Wrykyn."
  • "Why on earth did you leave?" asked Stone. "Were you sacked?"
  • "No. My pater took me away."
  • "Wrykyn?" said Robinson. "Are you any relation of the Jacksons
  • there--J. W. and the others?"
  • "Brother."
  • "What!"
  • "Well, didn't you play at all there?"
  • "Yes," said Mike, "I did. I was in the team three years, and I should
  • have been captain this year, if I'd stopped on."
  • There was a profound and gratifying sensation. Stone gaped, and
  • Robinson nearly dropped his tea-cup.
  • Stone broke the silence.
  • "But I mean to say--look here! What I mean is, why aren't you playing?
  • Why don't you play now?"
  • "I do. I play for a village near here. Place called Little Borlock. A
  • man who played against Wrykyn for the Free Foresters captains them. He
  • asked me if I'd like some games for them."
  • "But why not for the school?"
  • "Why should I? It's much better fun for the village. You don't get
  • ordered about by Adair, for a start."
  • "Adair sticks on side," said Stone.
  • "Enough for six," agreed Robinson.
  • "By Jove," said Stone, "I've got an idea. My word, what a rag!"
  • "What's wrong now?" inquired Mike politely.
  • "Why, look here. To-morrow's Mid-term Service day. It's nowhere near
  • the middle of the term, but they always have it in the fourth week.
  • There's chapel at half-past nine till half-past ten. Then the rest of
  • the day's a whole holiday. There are always house matches. We're
  • playing Downing's. Why don't you play and let's smash them?"
  • "By Jove, yes," said Robinson. "Why don't you? They're always sticking
  • on side because they've won the house cup three years running. I say,
  • do you bat or bowl?"
  • "Bat. Why?"
  • Robinson rocked on the table.
  • "Why, old Downing fancies himself as a bowler. You _must_ play,
  • and knock the cover off him."
  • "Masters don't play in house matches, surely?"
  • "This isn't a real house match. Only a friendly. Downing always turns
  • out on Mid-term Service day. I say, do play."
  • "Think of the rag."
  • "But the team's full," said Mike.
  • "The list isn't up yet. We'll nip across to Barnes' study, and make
  • him alter it."
  • They dashed out of the room. From down the passage Mike heard yells of
  • "_Barnes_!" the closing of a door, and a murmur of excited
  • conversation. Then footsteps returning down the passage.
  • Barnes appeared, on his face the look of one who has seen visions.
  • "I say," he said, "is it true? Or is Stone rotting? About Wrykyn, I
  • mean."
  • "Yes, I was in the team."
  • Barnes was an enthusiastic cricketer. He studied his _Wisden_,
  • and he had an immense respect for Wrykyn cricket.
  • "Are you the M. Jackson, then, who had an average of fifty-one point
  • nought three last year?"
  • [Illustration: "ARE YOU THE M. JACKSON, THEN, WHO HAD AN AVERAGE OF
  • FIFTY-ONE POINT NOUGHT THREE LAST YEAR?"]
  • "Yes."
  • Barnes's manner became like that of a curate talking to a bishop.
  • "I say," he said, "then--er--will you play against Downing's to-morrow?"
  • "Rather," said Mike. "Thanks awfully. Have some tea?"
  • CHAPTER XL
  • THE MATCH WITH DOWNING'S
  • It is the curious instinct which prompts most people to rub a thing in
  • that makes the lot of the average convert an unhappy one. Only the
  • very self-controlled can refrain from improving the occasion and
  • scoring off the convert. Most leap at the opportunity.
  • It was so in Mike's case. Mike was not a genuine convert, but to Mr.
  • Downing he had the outward aspect of one. When you have been
  • impressing upon a non-cricketing boy for nearly a month that
  • (_a_) the school is above all a keen school, (_b_) that all
  • members of it should play cricket, and (_c_) that by not playing
  • cricket he is ruining his chances in this world and imperilling them
  • in the next; and when, quite unexpectedly, you come upon this boy
  • dressed in cricket flannels, wearing cricket boots and carrying a
  • cricket bag, it seems only natural to assume that you have converted
  • him, that the seeds of your eloquence have fallen on fruitful soil and
  • sprouted.
  • Mr. Downing assumed it.
  • He was walking to the field with Adair and another member of his team
  • when he came upon Mike.
  • "What!" he cried. "Our Jackson clad in suit of mail and armed for the
  • fray!"
  • This was Mr. Downing's No. 2 manner--the playful.
  • "This is indeed Saul among the prophets. Why this sudden enthusiasm
  • for a game which I understood that you despised? Are our opponents so
  • reduced?"
  • Psmith, who was with Mike, took charge of the affair with a languid
  • grace which had maddened hundreds in its time, and which never failed
  • to ruffle Mr. Downing.
  • "We are, above all, sir," he said, "a keen house. Drones are not
  • welcomed by us. We are essentially versatile. Jackson, the
  • archaeologist of yesterday, becomes the cricketer of to-day. It is the
  • right spirit, sir," said Psmith earnestly. "I like to see it."
  • "Indeed, Smith? You are not playing yourself, I notice. Your
  • enthusiasm has bounds."
  • "In our house, sir, competition is fierce, and the Selection Committee
  • unfortunately passed me over."
  • * * * * *
  • There were a number of pitches dotted about over the field, for there
  • was always a touch of the London Park about it on Mid-term Service
  • day. Adair, as captain of cricket, had naturally selected the best for
  • his own match. It was a good wicket, Mike saw. As a matter of fact the
  • wickets at Sedleigh were nearly always good. Adair had infected the
  • ground-man with some of his own keenness, with the result that that
  • once-leisurely official now found himself sometimes, with a kind of
  • mild surprise, working really hard. At the beginning of the previous
  • season Sedleigh had played a scratch team from a neighbouring town on a
  • wicket which, except for the creases, was absolutely undistinguishable
  • from the surrounding turf, and behind the pavilion after the match
  • Adair had spoken certain home truths to the ground-man. The latter's
  • reformation had dated from that moment.
  • * * * * *
  • Barnes, timidly jubilant, came up to Mike with the news that he had
  • won the toss, and the request that Mike would go in first with him.
  • In stories of the "Not Really a Duffer" type, where the nervous new
  • boy, who has been found crying in the boot-room over the photograph of
  • his sister, contrives to get an innings in a game, nobody suspects
  • that he is really a prodigy till he hits the Bully's first ball out of
  • the ground for six.
  • With Mike it was different. There was no pitying smile on Adair's face
  • as he started his run preparatory to sending down the first ball.
  • Mike, on the cricket field, could not have looked anything but a
  • cricketer if he had turned out in a tweed suit and hobnail boots.
  • Cricketer was written all over him--in his walk, in the way he took
  • guard, in his stand at the wickets. Adair started to bowl with the
  • feeling that this was somebody who had more than a little knowledge of
  • how to deal with good bowling and punish bad.
  • Mike started cautiously. He was more than usually anxious to make runs
  • to-day, and he meant to take no risks till he could afford to do so.
  • He had seen Adair bowl at the nets, and he knew that he was good.
  • The first over was a maiden, six dangerous balls beautifully played.
  • The fieldsmen changed over.
  • The general interest had now settled on the match between Outwood's
  • and Downing's. The fact in Mike's case had gone round the field, and,
  • as several of the other games had not yet begun, quite a large crowd
  • had collected near the pavilion to watch. Mike's masterly treatment of
  • the opening over had impressed the spectators, and there was a popular
  • desire to see how he would deal with Mr. Downing's slows. It was
  • generally anticipated that he would do something special with them.
  • Off the first ball of the master's over a leg-bye was run.
  • Mike took guard.
  • Mr. Downing was a bowler with a style of his own. He took two short
  • steps, two long steps, gave a jump, took three more short steps, and
  • ended with a combination of step and jump, during which the ball
  • emerged from behind his back and started on its slow career to
  • the wicket. The whole business had some of the dignity of the
  • old-fashioned minuet, subtly blended with the careless vigour of
  • a cake-walk. The ball, when delivered, was billed to break from
  • leg, but the programme was subject to alterations.
  • If the spectators had expected Mike to begin any firework effects with
  • the first ball, they were disappointed. He played the over through
  • with a grace worthy of his brother Joe. The last ball he turned to leg
  • for a single.
  • His treatment of Adair's next over was freer. He had got a sight of
  • the ball now. Half-way through the over a beautiful square cut forced
  • a passage through the crowd by the pavilion, and dashed up against the
  • rails. He drove the sixth ball past cover for three.
  • The crowd was now reluctantly dispersing to its own games, but it
  • stopped as Mr. Downing started his minuet-cake-walk, in the hope that
  • it might see something more sensational.
  • This time the hope was fulfilled.
  • The ball was well up, slow, and off the wicket on the on-side. Perhaps
  • if it had been allowed to pitch, it might have broken in and become
  • quite dangerous. Mike went out at it, and hit it a couple of feet from
  • the ground. The ball dropped with a thud and a spurting of dust in the
  • road that ran along one side of the cricket field.
  • It was returned on the instalment system by helpers from other games,
  • and the bowler began his manoeuvres again. A half-volley this time.
  • Mike slammed it back, and mid-on, whose heart was obviously not in the
  • thing, failed to stop it.
  • "Get to them, Jenkins," said Mr. Downing irritably, as the ball came
  • back from the boundary. "Get to them."
  • "Sir, please, sir----"
  • "Don't talk in the field, Jenkins."
  • Having had a full-pitch hit for six and a half-volley for four, there
  • was a strong probability that Mr. Downing would pitch his next ball
  • short.
  • The expected happened. The third ball was a slow long-hop, and hit the
  • road at about the same spot where the first had landed. A howl of
  • untuneful applause rose from the watchers in the pavilion, and Mike,
  • with the feeling that this sort of bowling was too good to be true,
  • waited in position for number four.
  • There are moments when a sort of panic seizes a bowler. This happened
  • now with Mr. Downing. He suddenly abandoned science and ran amok. His
  • run lost its stateliness and increased its vigour. He charged up to
  • the wicket as a wounded buffalo sometimes charges a gun. His whole
  • idea now was to bowl fast.
  • When a slow bowler starts to bowl fast, it is usually as well to be
  • batting, if you can manage it.
  • By the time the over was finished, Mike's score had been increased by
  • sixteen, and the total of his side, in addition, by three wides.
  • And a shrill small voice, from the neighbourhood of the pavilion,
  • uttered with painful distinctness the words, "Take him off!"
  • That was how the most sensational day's cricket began that Sedleigh
  • had known.
  • A description of the details of the morning's play would be
  • monotonous. It is enough to say that they ran on much the same lines
  • as the third and fourth overs of the match. Mr. Downing bowled one
  • more over, off which Mike helped himself to sixteen runs, and then
  • retired moodily to cover-point, where, in Adair's fifth over, he
  • missed Barnes--the first occasion since the game began on which that
  • mild batsman had attempted to score more than a single. Scared by this
  • escape, Outwood's captain shrank back into his shell, sat on the
  • splice like a limpet, and, offering no more chances, was not out at
  • lunch time with a score of eleven.
  • Mike had then made a hundred and three.
  • * * * * *
  • As Mike was taking off his pads in the pavilion, Adair came up.
  • "Why did you say you didn't play cricket?" he asked abruptly.
  • [Illustration: "WHY DID YOU SAY YOU DIDN'T PLAY CRICKET?" HE ASKED]
  • When one has been bowling the whole morning, and bowling well, without
  • the slightest success, one is inclined to be abrupt.
  • Mike finished unfastening an obstinate strap. Then he looked up.
  • "I didn't say anything of the kind. I said I wasn't going to play
  • here. There's a difference. As a matter of fact, I was in the Wrykyn
  • team before I came here. Three years."
  • Adair was silent for a moment.
  • "Will you play for us against the Old Sedleighans to-morrow?" he said
  • at length.
  • Mike tossed his pads into his bag and got up.
  • "No, thanks."
  • There was a silence.
  • "Above it, I suppose?"
  • "Not a bit. Not up to it. I shall want a lot of coaching at that end
  • net of yours before I'm fit to play for Sedleigh."
  • There was another pause.
  • "Then you won't play?" asked Adair.
  • "I'm not keeping you, am I?" said Mike, politely.
  • It was remarkable what a number of members of Outwood's house appeared
  • to cherish a personal grudge against Mr. Downing. It had been that
  • master's somewhat injudicious practice for many years to treat his
  • own house as a sort of Chosen People. Of all masters, the most
  • unpopular is he who by the silent tribunal of a school is convicted
  • of favouritism. And the dislike deepens if it is a house which he
  • favours and not merely individuals. On occasions when boys in his
  • own house and boys from other houses were accomplices and partners
  • in wrong-doing, Mr. Downing distributed his thunderbolts unequally,
  • and the school noticed it. The result was that not only he himself,
  • but also--which was rather unfair--his house, too, had acquired a
  • good deal of unpopularity.
  • The general consensus of opinion in Outwood's during the luncheon
  • interval was that, having got Downing's up a tree, they would be fools
  • not to make the most of the situation.
  • Barnes's remark that he supposed, unless anything happened and wickets
  • began to fall a bit faster, they had better think of declaring
  • somewhere about half-past three or four, was met with a storm of
  • opposition.
  • "Declare!" said Robinson. "Great Scott, what on earth are you talking
  • about?"
  • "Declare!" Stone's voice was almost a wail of indignation. "I never
  • saw such a chump."
  • "They'll be rather sick if we don't, won't they?" suggested Barnes.
  • "Sick! I should think they would," said Stone. "That's just the gay
  • idea. Can't you see that by a miracle we've got a chance of getting a
  • jolly good bit of our own back against those Downing's ticks? What
  • we've got to do is to jolly well keep them in the field all day if we
  • can, and be jolly glad it's so beastly hot. If they lose about a dozen
  • pounds each through sweating about in the sun after Jackson's drives,
  • perhaps they'll stick on less side about things in general in future.
  • Besides, I want an innings against that bilge of old Downing's, if I
  • can get it."
  • "So do I," said Robinson.
  • "If you declare, I swear I won't field. Nor will Robinson."
  • "Rather not."
  • "Well, I won't then," said Barnes unhappily. "Only you know they're
  • rather sick already."
  • "Don't you worry about that," said Stone with a wide grin. "They'll be
  • a lot sicker before we've finished."
  • And so it came about that that particular Mid-term Service-day match
  • made history. Big scores had often been put up on Mid-term Service
  • day. Games had frequently been one-sided. But it had never happened
  • before in the annals of the school that one side, going in first early
  • in the morning, had neither completed its innings nor declared it
  • closed when stumps were drawn at 6.30. In no previous Sedleigh match,
  • after a full day's play, had the pathetic words "Did not bat" been
  • written against the whole of one of the contending teams.
  • These are the things which mark epochs.
  • Play was resumed at 2.15. For a quarter of an hour Mike was
  • comparatively quiet. Adair, fortified by food and rest, was bowling
  • really well, and his first half-dozen overs had to be watched
  • carefully. But the wicket was too good to give him a chance, and Mike,
  • playing himself in again, proceeded to get to business once more.
  • Bowlers came and went. Adair pounded away at one end with brief
  • intervals between the attacks. Mr. Downing took a couple more overs,
  • in one of which a horse, passing in the road, nearly had its useful
  • life cut suddenly short. Change-bowlers of various actions and paces,
  • each weirder and more futile than the last, tried their luck. But
  • still the first-wicket stand continued.
  • The bowling of a house team is all head and no body. The first pair
  • probably have some idea of length and break. The first-change pair are
  • poor. And the rest, the small change, are simply the sort of things
  • one sees in dreams after a heavy supper, or when one is out without
  • one's gun.
  • Time, mercifully, generally breaks up a big stand at cricket before
  • the field has suffered too much, and that is what happened now.
  • At four o'clock, when the score stood at two hundred and twenty
  • for no wicket, Barnes, greatly daring, smote lustily at a rather
  • wide half-volley and was caught at short-slip for thirty-three. He
  • retired blushfully to the pavilion, amidst applause, and Stone came
  • out.
  • As Mike had then made a hundred and eighty-seven, it was assumed by
  • the field, that directly he had topped his second century, the closure
  • would be applied and their ordeal finished. There was almost a sigh of
  • relief when frantic cheering from the crowd told that the feat had
  • been accomplished. The fieldsmen clapped in quite an indulgent sort of
  • way, as who should say, "Capital, capital. And now let's start
  • _our_ innings." Some even began to edge towards the pavilion.
  • But the next ball was bowled, and the next over, and the next after
  • that, and still Barnes made no sign. (The conscience-stricken captain
  • of Outwood's was, as a matter of fact, being practically held down by
  • Robinson and other ruffians by force.)
  • A grey dismay settled on the field.
  • The bowling had now become almost unbelievably bad. Lobs were being
  • tried, and Stone, nearly weeping with pure joy, was playing an innings
  • of the How-to-brighten-cricket type. He had an unorthodox style, but
  • an excellent eye, and the road at this period of the game became
  • absolutely unsafe for pedestrians and traffic.
  • Mike's pace had become slower, as was only natural, but his score,
  • too, was mounting steadily.
  • "This is foolery," snapped Mr. Downing, as the three hundred and fifty
  • went up on the board. "Barnes!" he called.
  • There was no reply. A committee of three was at that moment engaged in
  • sitting on Barnes's head in the first eleven changing-room, in order
  • to correct a more than usually feverish attack of conscience.
  • "Barnes!"
  • "Please, sir," said Stone, some species of telepathy telling him what
  • was detaining his captain. "I think Barnes must have left the field.
  • He has probably gone over to the house to fetch something."
  • "This is absurd. You must declare your innings closed. The game has
  • become a farce."
  • "Declare! Sir, we can't unless Barnes does. He might be awfully
  • annoyed if we did anything like that without consulting him."
  • "Absurd."
  • "He's very touchy, sir."
  • "It is perfect foolery."
  • "I think Jenkins is just going to bowl, sir."
  • Mr. Downing walked moodily to his place.
  • * * * * *
  • In a neat wooden frame in the senior day-room at Outwood's, just above
  • the mantelpiece, there was on view, a week later, a slip of paper. The
  • writing on it was as follows:
  • OUTWOOD'S _v_. DOWNING'S
  • _Outwood's. First innings._
  • J. P. Barnes, _c_. Hammond, _b_. Hassall... 33
  • M. Jackson, not out........................ 277
  • W. J. Stone, not out....................... 124
  • Extras............................... 37
  • -----
  • Total (for one wicket)...... 471
  • Downing's did not bat.
  • CHAPTER XLI
  • THE SINGULAR BEHAVIOUR OF JELLICOE
  • Outwood's rollicked considerably that night. Mike, if he had cared to
  • take the part, could have been the Petted Hero. But a cordial
  • invitation from the senior day-room to be the guest of the evening at
  • about the biggest rag of the century had been refused on the plea of
  • fatigue. One does not make two hundred and seventy-seven runs on a hot
  • day without feeling the effects, even if one has scored mainly by the
  • medium of boundaries; and Mike, as he lay back in Psmith's deck-chair,
  • felt that all he wanted was to go to bed and stay there for a week.
  • His hands and arms burned as if they were red-hot, and his eyes were
  • so tired that he could not keep them open.
  • Psmith, leaning against the mantelpiece, discoursed in a desultory way
  • on the day's happenings--the score off Mr. Downing, the undeniable
  • annoyance of that battered bowler, and the probability of his venting
  • his annoyance on Mike next day.
  • "In theory," said he, "the manly what-d'you-call-it of cricket and all
  • that sort of thing ought to make him fall on your neck to-morrow and
  • weep over you as a foeman worthy of his steel. But I am prepared to
  • bet a reasonable sum that he will give no Jiu-jitsu exhibition of this
  • kind. In fact, from what I have seen of our bright little friend, I
  • should say that, in a small way, he will do his best to make it
  • distinctly hot for you, here and there."
  • "I don't care," murmured Mike, shifting his aching limbs in the chair.
  • "In an ordinary way, I suppose, a man can put up with having his
  • bowling hit a little. But your performance was cruelty to animals.
  • Twenty-eight off one over, not to mention three wides, would have made
  • Job foam at the mouth. You will probably get sacked. On the other
  • hand, it's worth it. You have lit a candle this day which can never be
  • blown out. You have shown the lads of the village how Comrade
  • Downing's bowling ought to be treated. I don't suppose he'll ever take
  • another wicket."
  • "He doesn't deserve to."
  • Psmith smoothed his hair at the glass and turned round again.
  • "The only blot on this day of mirth and good-will is," he said, "the
  • singular conduct of our friend Jellicoe. When all the place was
  • ringing with song and merriment, Comrade Jellicoe crept to my side,
  • and, slipping his little hand in mine, touched me for three quid."
  • This interested Mike, fagged as he was.
  • "What! Three quid!"
  • "Three jingling, clinking sovereigns. He wanted four."
  • "But the man must be living at the rate of I don't know what. It was
  • only yesterday that he borrowed a quid from _me_!"
  • "He must be saving money fast. There appear to be the makings of a
  • financier about Comrade Jellicoe. Well, I hope, when he's collected
  • enough for his needs, he'll pay me back a bit. I'm pretty well cleaned
  • out."
  • "I got some from my brother at Oxford."
  • "Perhaps he's saving up to get married. We may be helping towards
  • furnishing the home. There was a Siamese prince fellow at my dame's at
  • Eton who had four wives when he arrived, and gathered in a fifth
  • during his first summer holidays. It was done on the correspondence
  • system. His Prime Minister fixed it up at the other end, and sent him
  • the glad news on a picture post-card. I think an eye ought to be kept
  • on Comrade Jellicoe."
  • * * * * *
  • Mike tumbled into bed that night like a log, but he could not sleep.
  • He ached all over. Psmith chatted for a time on human affairs in
  • general, and then dropped gently off. Jellicoe, who appeared to be
  • wrapped in gloom, contributed nothing to the conversation.
  • After Psmith had gone to sleep, Mike lay for some time running over in
  • his mind, as the best substitute for sleep, the various points of his
  • innings that day. He felt very hot and uncomfortable.
  • Just as he was wondering whether it would not be a good idea to get up
  • and have a cold bath, a voice spoke from the darkness at his side.
  • "Are you asleep, Jackson?"
  • "Who's that?"
  • "Me--Jellicoe. I can't get to sleep."
  • "Nor can I. I'm stiff all over."
  • "I'll come over and sit on your bed."
  • There was a creaking, and then a weight descended in the neighbourhood
  • of Mike's toes.
  • Jellicoe was apparently not in conversational mood. He uttered no word
  • for quite three minutes. At the end of which time he gave a sound
  • midway between a snort and a sigh.
  • "I say, Jackson!" he said.
  • "Yes?"
  • "Have you--oh, nothing."
  • Silence again.
  • "Jackson."
  • "Hullo?"
  • "I say, what would your people say if you got sacked?"
  • "All sorts of things. Especially my pater. Why?"
  • "Oh, I don't know. So would mine."
  • "Everybody's would, I expect."
  • "Yes."
  • The bed creaked, as Jellicoe digested these great thoughts. Then he
  • spoke again.
  • "It would be a jolly beastly thing to get sacked."
  • Mike was too tired to give his mind to the subject. He was not really
  • listening. Jellicoe droned on in a depressed sort of way.
  • "You'd get home in the middle of the afternoon, I suppose, and you'd
  • drive up to the house, and the servant would open the door, and you'd
  • go in. They might all be out, and then you'd have to hang about, and
  • wait; and presently you'd hear them come in, and you'd go out into the
  • passage, and they'd say 'Hullo!'"
  • Jellicoe, in order to give verisimilitude, as it were, to an otherwise
  • bald and unconvincing narrative, flung so much agitated surprise into
  • the last word that it woke Mike from a troubled doze into which he had
  • fallen.
  • "Hullo?" he said. "What's up?"
  • "Then you'd say. 'Hullo!' And then they'd say, 'What are you doing
  • here? 'And you'd say----"
  • "What on earth are you talking about?"
  • "About what would happen."
  • "Happen when?"
  • "When you got home. After being sacked, you know."
  • "Who's been sacked?" Mike's mind was still under a cloud.
  • "Nobody. But if you were, I meant. And then I suppose there'd be an
  • awful row and general sickness, and all that. And then you'd be sent
  • into a bank, or to Australia, or something."
  • Mike dozed off again.
  • "My pater would be frightfully sick. My mater would be sick. My sister
  • would be jolly sick, too. Have you got any sisters, Jackson? I say,
  • Jackson!"
  • "Hullo! What's the matter? Who's that?"
  • "Me--Jellicoe."
  • "What's up?"
  • "I asked you if you'd got any sisters."
  • "Any _what_?"
  • "Sisters."
  • "Whose sisters?"
  • "Yours. I asked if you'd got any."
  • "Any what?"
  • "Sisters."
  • "What about them?"
  • The conversation was becoming too intricate for Jellicoe. He changed
  • the subject.
  • "I say, Jackson!"
  • "Well?"
  • "I say, you don't know any one who could lend me a pound, do you?"
  • "What!" cried Mike, sitting up in bed and staring through the darkness
  • in the direction whence the numismatist's voice was proceeding. "Do
  • _what_?"
  • "I say, look out. You'll wake Smith."
  • "Did you say you wanted some one to lend you a quid?"
  • "Yes," said Jellicoe eagerly. "Do you know any one?"
  • Mike's head throbbed. This thing was too much. The human brain could
  • not be expected to cope with it. Here was a youth who had borrowed a
  • pound from one friend the day before, and three pounds from another
  • friend that very afternoon, already looking about him for further
  • loans. Was it a hobby, or was he saving up to buy an aeroplane?
  • "What on earth do you want a pound for?"
  • "I don't want to tell anybody. But it's jolly serious. I shall get
  • sacked if I don't get it."
  • Mike pondered.
  • Those who have followed Mike's career as set forth by the present
  • historian will have realised by this time that he was a good long way
  • from being perfect. As the Blue-Eyed Hero he would have been a rank
  • failure. Except on the cricket field, where he was a natural genius,
  • he was just ordinary. He resembled ninety per cent. of other members
  • of English public schools. He had some virtues and a good many
  • defects. He was as obstinate as a mule, though people whom he liked
  • could do as they pleased with him. He was good-natured as a general
  • thing, but on occasion his temper could be of the worst, and had, in
  • his childhood, been the subject of much adverse comment among his
  • aunts. He was rigidly truthful, where the issue concerned only
  • himself. Where it was a case of saving a friend, he was prepared to
  • act in a manner reminiscent of an American expert witness.
  • He had, in addition, one good quality without any defect to balance
  • it. He was always ready to help people. And when he set himself to do
  • this, he was never put off by discomfort or risk. He went at the thing
  • with a singleness of purpose that asked no questions.
  • Bob's postal order, which had arrived that evening, was reposing in
  • the breast-pocket of his coat.
  • It was a wrench, but, if the situation was so serious with Jellicoe,
  • it had to be done.
  • * * * * *
  • Two minutes later the night was being made hideous by Jellicoe's
  • almost tearful protestations of gratitude, and the postal order had
  • moved from one side of the dormitory to the other.
  • CHAPTER XLII
  • JELLICOE GOES ON THE SICK-LIST
  • Mike woke next morning with a confused memory of having listened to a
  • great deal of incoherent conversation from Jellicoe, and a painfully
  • vivid recollection of handing over the bulk of his worldly wealth to
  • him. The thought depressed him, though it seemed to please Jellicoe,
  • for the latter carolled in a gay undertone as he dressed, till Psmith,
  • who had a sensitive ear, asked as a favour that these farm-yard
  • imitations might cease until he was out of the room.
  • There were other things to make Mike low-spirited that morning. To
  • begin with, he was in detention, which in itself is enough to spoil a
  • day. It was a particularly fine day, which made the matter worse. In
  • addition to this, he had never felt stiffer in his life. It seemed to
  • him that the creaking of his joints as he walked must be audible to
  • every one within a radius of several yards. Finally, there was the
  • interview with Mr. Downing to come. That would probably be unpleasant.
  • As Psmith had said, Mr. Downing was the sort of master who would be
  • likely to make trouble. The great match had not been an ordinary
  • match. Mr. Downing was a curious man in many ways, but he did not make
  • a fuss on ordinary occasions when his bowling proved expensive.
  • Yesterday's performance, however, stood in a class by itself. It stood
  • forth without disguise as a deliberate rag. One side does not keep
  • another in the field the whole day in a one-day match except as a
  • grisly kind of practical joke. And Mr. Downing and his house realised
  • this. The house's way of signifying its comprehension of the fact was
  • to be cold and distant as far as the seniors were concerned, and
  • abusive and pugnacious as regards the juniors. Young blood had been
  • shed overnight, and more flowed during the eleven o'clock interval
  • that morning to avenge the insult.
  • Mr. Downing's methods of retaliation would have to be, of necessity,
  • more elusive; but Mike did not doubt that in some way or other his
  • form-master would endeavour to get a bit of his own back.
  • As events turned out, he was perfectly right. When a master has got
  • his knife into a boy, especially a master who allows himself to be
  • influenced by his likes and dislikes, he is inclined to single him out
  • in times of stress, and savage him as if he were the official
  • representative of the evildoers. Just as, at sea, the skipper, when he
  • has trouble with the crew, works it off on the boy.
  • Mr. Downing was in a sarcastic mood when he met Mike. That is to say,
  • he began in a sarcastic strain. But this sort of thing is difficult to
  • keep up. By the time he had reached his peroration, the rapier had
  • given place to the bludgeon. For sarcasm to be effective, the user of
  • it must be met half-way. His hearer must appear to be conscious of the
  • sarcasm and moved by it. Mike, when masters waxed sarcastic towards
  • him, always assumed an air of stolid stupidity, which was as a suit of
  • mail against satire.
  • So Mr. Downing came down from the heights with a run, and began to
  • express himself with a simple strength which it did his form good to
  • listen to. Veterans who had been in the form for terms said afterwards
  • that there had been nothing to touch it, in their experience of the
  • orator, since the glorious day when Dunster, that prince of raggers,
  • who had left at Christmas to go to a crammer's, had introduced three
  • lively grass-snakes into the room during a Latin lesson.
  • "You are surrounded," concluded Mr. Downing, snapping his pencil in
  • two in his emotion, "by an impenetrable mass of conceit and vanity and
  • selfishness. It does not occur to you to admit your capabilities as a
  • cricketer in an open, straightforward way and place them at the
  • disposal of the school. No, that would not be dramatic enough for you.
  • It would be too commonplace altogether. Far too commonplace!" Mr.
  • Downing laughed bitterly. "No, you must conceal your capabilities. You
  • must act a lie. You must--who is that shuffling his feet? I will not
  • have it, I _will_ have silence--you must hang back in order to
  • make a more effective entrance, like some wretched actor who--I will
  • _not_ have this shuffling. I have spoken of this before. Macpherson,
  • are you shuffling your feet?"
  • "Sir, no, sir."
  • "Please, sir."
  • "Well, Parsons?"
  • "I think it's the noise of the draught under the door, sir."
  • Instant departure of Parsons for the outer regions. And, in the
  • excitement of this side-issue, the speaker lost his inspiration, and
  • abruptly concluded his remarks by putting Mike on to translate in
  • Cicero. Which Mike, who happened to have prepared the first half-page,
  • did with much success.
  • * * * * *
  • The Old Boys' match was timed to begin shortly after eleven o'clock.
  • During the interval most of the school walked across the field to look
  • at the pitch. One or two of the Old Boys had already changed and were
  • practising in front of the pavilion.
  • It was through one of these batsmen that an accident occurred which
  • had a good deal of influence on Mike's affairs.
  • Mike had strolled out by himself. Half-way across the field Jellicoe
  • joined him. Jellicoe was cheerful, and rather embarrassingly grateful.
  • He was just in the middle of his harangue when the accident happened.
  • To their left, as they crossed the field, a long youth, with the faint
  • beginnings of a moustache and a blazer that lit up the surrounding
  • landscape like a glowing beacon, was lashing out recklessly at a
  • friend's bowling. Already he had gone within an ace of slaying a small
  • boy. As Mike and Jellicoe proceeded on their way, there was a shout of
  • "Heads!"
  • The almost universal habit of batsmen of shouting "Heads!" at whatever
  • height from the ground the ball may be, is not a little confusing. The
  • average person, on hearing the shout, puts his hands over his skull,
  • crouches down and trusts to luck. This is an excellent plan if the
  • ball is falling, but is not much protection against a skimming drive
  • along the ground.
  • When "Heads!" was called on the present occasion, Mike and Jellicoe
  • instantly assumed the crouching attitude.
  • Jellicoe was the first to abandon it. He uttered a yell and sprang
  • into the air. After which he sat down and began to nurse his ankle.
  • The bright-blazered youth walked up.
  • "Awfully sorry, you know, man. Hurt?"
  • Jellicoe was pressing the injured spot tenderly with his finger-tips,
  • uttering sharp howls whenever, zeal outrunning discretion, he prodded
  • himself too energetically.
  • "Silly ass, Dunster," he groaned, "slamming about like that."
  • "Awfully sorry. But I did yell."
  • "It's swelling up rather," said Mike. "You'd better get over to the
  • house and have it looked at. Can you walk?"
  • Jellicoe tried, but sat down again with a loud "Ow!" At that moment
  • the bell rang.
  • "I shall have to be going in," said Mike, "or I'd have helped you
  • over."
  • "I'll give you a hand," said Dunster.
  • He helped the sufferer to his feet and they staggered off together,
  • Jellicoe hopping, Dunster advancing with a sort of polka step. Mike
  • watched them start and then turned to go in.
  • CHAPTER XLIII
  • MIKE RECEIVES A COMMISSION
  • There is only one thing to be said in favour of detention on a fine
  • summer's afternoon, and that is that it is very pleasant to come out
  • of. The sun never seems so bright or the turf so green as during the
  • first five minutes after one has come out of the detention-room. One
  • feels as if one were entering a new and very delightful world. There
  • is also a touch of the Rip van Winkle feeling. Everything seems to
  • have gone on and left one behind. Mike, as he walked to the cricket
  • field, felt very much behind the times.
  • Arriving on the field he found the Old Boys batting. He stopped and
  • watched an over of Adair's. The fifth ball bowled a man. Mike made his
  • way towards the pavilion.
  • Before he got there he heard his name called, and turning, found
  • Psmith seated under a tree with the bright-blazered Dunster.
  • "Return of the exile," said Psmith. "A joyful occasion tinged with
  • melancholy. Have a cherry?--take one or two. These little acts of
  • unremembered kindness are what one needs after a couple of hours in
  • extra pupil-room. Restore your tissues, Comrade Jackson, and when you
  • have finished those, apply again.
  • "Is your name Jackson?" inquired Dunster, "because Jellicoe wants to
  • see you."
  • "Alas, poor Jellicoe!" said Psmith. "He is now prone on his bed in the
  • dormitory--there a sheer hulk lies poor Tom Jellicoe, the darling of
  • the crew, faithful below he did his duty, but Comrade Dunster has
  • broached him to. I have just been hearing the melancholy details."
  • "Old Smith and I," said Dunster, "were at a private school together.
  • I'd no idea I should find him here."
  • "It was a wonderfully stirring sight when we met," said Psmith; "not
  • unlike the meeting of Ulysses and the hound Argos, of whom you have
  • doubtless read in the course of your dabblings in the classics. I was
  • Ulysses; Dunster gave a life-like representation of the faithful
  • dawg."
  • "You still jaw as much as ever, I notice," said the animal delineator,
  • fondling the beginnings of his moustache.
  • "More," sighed Psmith, "more. Is anything irritating you?" he added,
  • eyeing the other's manoeuvres with interest.
  • "You needn't be a funny ass, man," said Dunster, pained; "heaps of
  • people tell me I ought to have it waxed."
  • "What it really wants is top-dressing with guano. Hullo! another man
  • out. Adair's bowling better to-day than he did yesterday."
  • "I heard about yesterday," said Dunster. "It must have been a rag!
  • Couldn't we work off some other rag on somebody before I go? I shall
  • be stopping here till Monday in the village. Well hit, sir--Adair's
  • bowling is perfectly simple if you go out to it."
  • "Comrade Dunster went out to it first ball," said Psmith to Mike.
  • "Oh! chuck it, man; the sun was in my eyes. I hear Adair's got a match
  • on with the M.C.C. at last."
  • "Has he?" said Psmith; "I hadn't heard. Archaeology claims so
  • much of my time that I have little leisure for listening to cricket
  • chit-chat."
  • "What was it Jellicoe wanted?" asked Mike; "was it anything
  • important?"
  • "He seemed to think so--he kept telling me to tell you to go and see
  • him."
  • "I fear Comrade Jellicoe is a bit of a weak-minded blitherer----"
  • "Did you ever hear of a rag we worked off on Jellicoe once?" asked
  • Dunster. "The man has absolutely no sense of humour--can't see when
  • he's being rotted. Well it was like this--Hullo! We're all out--I
  • shall have to be going out to field again, I suppose, dash it! I'll
  • tell you when I see you again."
  • "I shall count the minutes," said Psmith.
  • Mike stretched himself; the sun was very soothing after his two hours
  • in the detention-room; he felt disinclined for exertion.
  • "I don't suppose it's anything special about Jellicoe, do you?" he
  • said. "I mean, it'll keep till tea-time; it's no catch having to sweat
  • across to the house now."
  • "Don't dream of moving," said Psmith. "I have several rather profound
  • observations on life to make and I can't make them without an
  • audience. Soliloquy is a knack. Hamlet had got it, but probably only
  • after years of patient practice. Personally, I need some one to listen
  • when I talk. I like to feel that I am doing good. You stay where you
  • are--don't interrupt too much."
  • Mike tilted his hat over his eyes and abandoned Jellicoe.
  • It was not until the lock-up bell rang that he remembered him. He went
  • over to the house and made his way to the dormitory, where he found
  • the injured one in a parlous state, not so much physical as mental.
  • The doctor had seen his ankle and reported that it would be on the
  • active list in a couple of days. It was Jellicoe's mind that needed
  • attention now.
  • Mike found him in a condition bordering on collapse.
  • "I say, you might have come before!" said Jellicoe.
  • "What's up? I didn't know there was such a hurry about it--what did
  • you want?"
  • "It's no good now," said Jellicoe gloomily; "it's too late, I shall
  • get sacked."
  • "What on earth are you talking about? What's the row?"
  • "It's about that money."
  • "What about it?"
  • "I had to pay it to a man to-day, or he said he'd write to the
  • Head--then of course I should get sacked. I was going to take the
  • money to him this afternoon, only I got crocked, so I couldn't move.
  • I wanted to get hold of you to ask you to take it for me--it's too
  • late now!"
  • Mike's face fell. "Oh, hang it!" he said, "I'm awfully sorry. I'd no
  • idea it was anything like that--what a fool I was! Dunster did say he
  • thought it was something important, only like an ass I thought it
  • would do if I came over at lock-up."
  • "It doesn't matter," said Jellicoe miserably; "it can't be helped."
  • "Yes, it can," said Mike. "I know what I'll do--it's all right. I'll
  • get out of the house after lights-out."
  • Jellicoe sat up. "You can't! You'd get sacked if you were caught."
  • "Who would catch me? There was a chap at Wrykyn I knew who used to
  • break out every night nearly and go and pot at cats with an air-pistol;
  • it's as easy as anything."
  • The toad-under-the-harrow expression began to fade from Jellicoe's
  • face. "I say, do you think you could, really?"
  • "Of course I can! It'll be rather a rag."
  • "I say, it's frightfully decent of you."
  • "What absolute rot!"
  • "But, look here, are you certain----"
  • "I shall be all right. Where do you want me to go?"
  • "It's a place about a mile or two from here, called Lower Borlock."
  • "Lower Borlock?"
  • "Yes, do you know it?"
  • "Rather! I've been playing cricket for them all the term."
  • "I say, have you? Do you know a man called Barley?"
  • "Barley? Rather--he runs the 'White Boar'."
  • "He's the chap I owe the money to."
  • "Old Barley!"
  • Mike knew the landlord of the "White Boar" well; he was the wag of the
  • village team. Every village team, for some mysterious reason, has its
  • comic man. In the Lower Borlock eleven Mr. Barley filled the post. He
  • was a large, stout man, with a red and cheerful face, who looked
  • exactly like the jovial inn-keeper of melodrama. He was the last man
  • Mike would have expected to do the "money by Monday-week or I write to
  • the headmaster" business.
  • But he reflected that he had only seen him in his leisure moments,
  • when he might naturally be expected to unbend and be full of the milk
  • of human kindness. Probably in business hours he was quite different.
  • After all, pleasure is one thing and business another.
  • Besides, five pounds is a large sum of money, and if Jellicoe owed it,
  • there was nothing strange in Mr. Barley's doing everything he could to
  • recover it.
  • He wondered a little what Jellicoe could have been doing to run up a
  • bill as big as that, but it did not occur to him to ask, which was
  • unfortunate, as it might have saved him a good deal of inconvenience.
  • It seemed to him that it was none of his business to inquire into
  • Jellicoe's private affairs. He took the envelope containing the money
  • without question.
  • "I shall bike there, I think," he said, "if I can get into the shed."
  • The school's bicycles were stored in a shed by the pavilion.
  • "You can manage that," said Jellicoe; "it's locked up at night, but I
  • had a key made to fit it last summer, because I used to go out in the
  • early morning sometimes before it was opened."
  • "Got it on you?"
  • "Smith's got it."
  • "I'll get it from him."
  • "I say!"
  • "Well?"
  • "Don't tell Smith why you want it, will you? I don't want anybody to
  • know--if a thing once starts getting about it's all over the place in
  • no time."
  • "All right, I won't tell him."
  • "I say, thanks most awfully! I don't know what I should have done,
  • I----"
  • "Oh, chuck it!" said Mike.
  • CHAPTER XLIV
  • AND FULFILS IT
  • Mike started on his ride to Lower Borlock with mixed feelings. It is
  • pleasant to be out on a fine night in summer, but the pleasure is to a
  • certain extent modified when one feels that to be detected will mean
  • expulsion.
  • Mike did not want to be expelled, for many reasons. Now that he had
  • grown used to the place he was enjoying himself at Sedleigh to a
  • certain extent. He still harboured a feeling of resentment against the
  • school in general and Adair in particular, but it was pleasant in
  • Outwood's now that he had got to know some of the members of the
  • house, and he liked playing cricket for Lower Borlock; also, he was
  • fairly certain that his father would not let him go to Cambridge if he
  • were expelled from Sedleigh. Mr. Jackson was easy-going with his
  • family, but occasionally his foot came down like a steam-hammer, as
  • witness the Wrykyn school report affair.
  • So Mike pedalled along rapidly, being wishful to get the job done
  • without delay.
  • Psmith had yielded up the key, but his inquiries as to why it was
  • needed had been embarrassing. Mike's statement that he wanted to get
  • up early and have a ride had been received by Psmith, with whom early
  • rising was not a hobby, with honest amazement and a flood of advice
  • and warning on the subject.
  • "One of the Georges," said Psmith, "I forget which, once said that a
  • certain number of hours' sleep a day--I cannot recall for the moment
  • how many--made a man something, which for the time being has slipped
  • my memory. However, there you are. I've given you the main idea of the
  • thing; and a German doctor says that early rising causes insanity.
  • Still, if you're bent on it----" After which he had handed over the
  • key.
  • Mike wished he could have taken Psmith into his confidence. Probably
  • he would have volunteered to come, too; Mike would have been glad of a
  • companion.
  • It did not take him long to reach Lower Borlock. The "White Boar"
  • stood at the far end of the village, by the cricket field. He rode
  • past the church--standing out black and mysterious against the light
  • sky--and the rows of silent cottages, until he came to the inn.
  • The place was shut, of course, and all the lights were out--it was
  • some time past eleven.
  • The advantage an inn has over a private house, from the point of view
  • of the person who wants to get into it when it has been locked up, is
  • that a nocturnal visit is not so unexpected in the case of the former.
  • Preparations have been made to meet such an emergency. Where with a
  • private house you would probably have to wander round heaving rocks
  • and end by climbing up a water-spout, when you want to get into an inn
  • you simply ring the night-bell, which, communicating with the boots'
  • room, has that hard-worked menial up and doing in no time.
  • After Mike had waited for a few minutes there was a rattling of chains
  • and a shooting of bolts and the door opened.
  • "Yes, sir?" said the boots, appearing in his shirt-sleeves. "Why,
  • 'ullo! Mr. Jackson, sir!"
  • Mike was well known to all dwellers in Lower Borlock, his scores being
  • the chief topic of conversation when the day's labours were over.
  • "I want to see Mr. Barley, Jack."
  • "He's bin in bed this half-hour back, Mr. Jackson."
  • "I must see him. Can you get him down?"
  • The boots looked doubtful. "Roust the guv'nor outer bed?" he said.
  • Mike quite admitted the gravity of the task. The landlord of the
  • "White Boar" was one of those men who need a beauty sleep.
  • "I wish you would--it's a thing that can't wait. I've got some money
  • to give to him."
  • "Oh, if it's _that_--" said the boots.
  • Five minutes later mine host appeared in person, looking more than
  • usually portly in a check dressing-gown and red bedroom slippers of
  • the _Dreadnought_ type.
  • "You can pop off, Jack."
  • Exit boots to his slumbers once more.
  • "Well, Mr. Jackson, what's it all about?"
  • "Jellicoe asked me to come and bring you the money."
  • "The money? What money?"
  • "What he owes you; the five pounds, of course."
  • "The five--" Mr. Barley stared open-mouthed at Mike for a moment;
  • then he broke into a roar of laughter which shook the sporting prints
  • on the wall and drew barks from dogs in some distant part of the
  • house. He staggered about laughing and coughing till Mike began to
  • expect a fit of some kind. Then he collapsed into a chair, which
  • creaked under him, and wiped his eyes.
  • "Oh dear!" he said, "oh dear! the five pounds!"
  • Mike was not always abreast of the rustic idea of humour, and
  • now he felt particularly fogged. For the life of him he could
  • not see what there was to amuse any one so much in the fact that
  • a person who owed five pounds was ready to pay it back. It was an
  • occasion for rejoicing, perhaps, but rather for a solemn, thankful,
  • eyes-raised-to-heaven kind of rejoicing.
  • "What's up?" he asked.
  • "Five pounds!"
  • "You might tell us the joke."
  • Mr. Barley opened the letter, read it, and had another attack; when
  • this was finished he handed the letter to Mike, who was waiting
  • patiently by, hoping for light, and requested him to read it.
  • "Dear, dear!" chuckled Mr. Barley, "five pounds! They may teach you
  • young gentlemen to talk Latin and Greek and what not at your school,
  • but it 'ud do a lot more good if they'd teach you how many beans make
  • five; it 'ud do a lot more good if they'd teach you to come in when it
  • rained, it 'ud do----"
  • Mike was reading the letter.
  • "DEAR MR. BARLEY," it ran.--"I send the £5, which I could not get
  • before. I hope it is in time, because I don't want you to write to
  • the headmaster. I am sorry Jane and John ate your wife's hat and
  • the chicken and broke the vase."
  • There was some more to the same effect; it was signed "T. G.
  • Jellicoe."
  • "What on earth's it all about?" said Mike, finishing this curious
  • document.
  • Mr. Barley slapped his leg. "Why, Mr. Jellicoe keeps two dogs here; I
  • keep 'em for him till the young gentlemen go home for their holidays.
  • Aberdeen terriers, they are, and as sharp as mustard. Mischief! I
  • believe you, but, love us! they don't do no harm! Bite up an old shoe
  • sometimes and such sort of things. The other day, last Wednesday it
  • were, about 'ar parse five, Jane--she's the worst of the two, always
  • up to it, she is--she got hold of my old hat and had it in bits before
  • you could say knife. John upset a china vase in one of the bedrooms
  • chasing a mouse, and they got on the coffee-room table and ate half a
  • cold chicken what had been left there. So I says to myself, 'I'll have
  • a game with Mr. Jellicoe over this,' and I sits down and writes off
  • saying the little dogs have eaten a valuable hat and a chicken and
  • what not, and the damage'll be five pounds, and will he kindly remit
  • same by Saturday night at the latest or I write to his headmaster.
  • Love us!" Mr. Barley slapped his thigh, "he took it all in, every
  • word--and here's the five pounds in cash in this envelope here! I
  • haven't had such a laugh since we got old Tom Raxley out of bed at
  • twelve of a winter's night by telling him his house was a-fire."
  • It is not always easy to appreciate a joke of the practical order if
  • one has been made even merely part victim of it. Mike, as he reflected
  • that he had been dragged out of his house in the middle of the night,
  • in contravention of all school rules and discipline, simply in order
  • to satisfy Mr. Barley's sense of humour, was more inclined to be
  • abusive than mirthful. Running risks is all very well when they are
  • necessary, or if one chooses to run them for one's own amusement, but
  • to be placed in a dangerous position, a position imperilling one's
  • chance of going to the 'Varsity, is another matter altogether.
  • But it is impossible to abuse the Barley type of man. Barley's
  • enjoyment of the whole thing was so honest and child-like. Probably it
  • had given him the happiest quarter of an hour he had known for years,
  • since, in fact, the affair of old Tom Raxley. It would have been cruel
  • to damp the man.
  • So Mike laughed perfunctorily, took back the envelope with the five
  • pounds, accepted a stone ginger beer and a plateful of biscuits, and
  • rode off on his return journey.
  • * * * * *
  • Mention has been made above of the difference which exists between
  • getting into an inn after lock-up and into a private house. Mike was
  • to find this out for himself.
  • His first act on arriving at Sedleigh was to replace his bicycle in
  • the shed. This he accomplished with success. It was pitch-dark in the
  • shed, and as he wheeled his machine in, his foot touched something on
  • the floor. Without waiting to discover what this might be, he leaned
  • his bicycle against the wall, went out, and locked the door, after
  • which he ran across to Outwood's.
  • Fortune had favoured his undertaking by decreeing that a stout
  • drain-pipe should pass up the wall within a few inches of his and
  • Psmith's study. On the first day of term, it may be remembered he
  • had wrenched away the wooden bar which bisected the window-frame,
  • thus rendering exit and entrance almost as simple as they had been
  • for Wyatt during Mike's first term at Wrykyn.
  • He proceeded to scale this water-pipe.
  • He had got about half-way up when a voice from somewhere below cried,
  • "Who's that?"
  • CHAPTER XLV
  • PURSUIT
  • These things are Life's Little Difficulties. One can never tell
  • precisely how one will act in a sudden emergency. The right thing for
  • Mike to have done at this crisis was to have ignored the voice,
  • carried on up the water-pipe, and through the study window, and gone
  • to bed. It was extremely unlikely that anybody could have recognised
  • him at night against the dark background of the house. The position
  • then would have been that somebody in Mr. Outwood's house had been
  • seen breaking in after lights-out; but it would have been very
  • difficult for the authorities to have narrowed the search down any
  • further than that. There were thirty-four boys in Outwood's, of whom
  • about fourteen were much the same size and build as Mike.
  • The suddenness, however, of the call caused Mike to lose his head. He
  • made the strategic error of sliding rapidly down the pipe, and
  • running.
  • There were two gates to Mr. Outwood's front garden. The carriage drive
  • ran in a semicircle, of which the house was the centre. It was from
  • the right-hand gate, nearest to Mr. Downing's house, that the voice
  • had come, and, as Mike came to the ground, he saw a stout figure
  • galloping towards him from that direction. He bolted like a rabbit for
  • the other gate. As he did so, his pursuer again gave tongue.
  • "Oo-oo-oo yer!" was the exact remark.
  • Whereby Mike recognised him as the school sergeant.
  • "Oo-oo-oo yer!" was that militant gentleman's habitual way of
  • beginning a conversation.
  • With this knowledge, Mike felt easier in his mind. Sergeant Collard
  • was a man of many fine qualities, (notably a talent for what he was
  • wont to call "spott'n," a mysterious gift which he exercised on the
  • rifle range), but he could not run. There had been a time in his hot
  • youth when he had sprinted like an untamed mustang in pursuit of
  • volatile Pathans in Indian hill wars, but Time, increasing his girth,
  • had taken from him the taste for such exercise. When he moved now it
  • was at a stately walk. The fact that he ran to-night showed how the
  • excitement of the chase had entered into his blood.
  • "Oo-oo-oo yer!" he shouted again, as Mike, passing through the gate,
  • turned into the road that led to the school. Mike's attentive ear
  • noted that the bright speech was a shade more puffily delivered this
  • time. He began to feel that this was not such bad fun after all. He
  • would have liked to be in bed, but, if that was out of the question,
  • this was certainly the next best thing.
  • He ran on, taking things easily, with the sergeant panting in his
  • wake, till he reached the entrance to the school grounds. He dashed in
  • and took cover behind a tree.
  • Presently the sergeant turned the corner, going badly and evidently
  • cured of a good deal of the fever of the chase. Mike heard him toil on
  • for a few yards and then stop. A sound of panting was borne to him.
  • Then the sound of footsteps returning, this time at a walk. They
  • passed the gate and went on down the road.
  • The pursuer had given the thing up.
  • Mike waited for several minutes behind his tree. His programme now was
  • simple. He would give Sergeant Collard about half an hour, in case the
  • latter took it into his head to "guard home" by waiting at the gate.
  • Then he would trot softly back, shoot up the water-pipe once more, and
  • so to bed. It had just struck a quarter to something--twelve, he
  • supposed--on the school clock. He would wait till a quarter past.
  • Meanwhile, there was nothing to be gained from lurking behind a tree.
  • He left his cover, and started to stroll in the direction of the
  • pavilion. Having arrived there, he sat on the steps, looking out on to
  • the cricket field.
  • His thoughts were miles away, at Wrykyn, when he was recalled to
  • Sedleigh by the sound of somebody running. Focussing his gaze, he saw
  • a dim figure moving rapidly across the cricket field straight for him.
  • His first impression, that he had been seen and followed, disappeared
  • as the runner, instead of making for the pavilion, turned aside, and
  • stopped at the door of the bicycle shed. Like Mike, he was evidently
  • possessed of a key, for Mike heard it grate in the lock. At this point
  • he left the pavilion and hailed his fellow rambler by night in a
  • cautious undertone.
  • The other appeared startled.
  • "Who the dickens is that?" he asked. "Is that you, Jackson?"
  • Mike recognised Adair's voice. The last person he would have expected
  • to meet at midnight obviously on the point of going for a bicycle
  • ride.
  • "What are you doing out here, Jackson?"
  • "What are you, if it comes to that?"
  • Adair was lighting his lamp.
  • "I'm going for the doctor. One of the chaps in our house is bad."
  • "Oh!"
  • "What are you doing out here?"
  • "Just been for a stroll."
  • "Hadn't you better be getting back?"
  • "Plenty of time."
  • "I suppose you think you're doing something tremendously brave and
  • dashing?"
  • "Hadn't you better be going to the doctor?"
  • "If you want to know what I think----"
  • "I don't. So long."
  • Mike turned away, whistling between his teeth. After a moment's pause,
  • Adair rode off. Mike saw his light pass across the field and through
  • the gate. The school clock struck the quarter.
  • It seemed to Mike that Sergeant Collard, even if he had started to
  • wait for him at the house, would not keep up the vigil for more than
  • half an hour. He would be safe now in trying for home again.
  • He walked in that direction.
  • Now it happened that Mr. Downing, aroused from his first sleep by the
  • news, conveyed to him by Adair, that MacPhee, one of the junior
  • members of Adair's dormitory, was groaning and exhibiting other
  • symptoms of acute illness, was disturbed in his mind. Most
  • housemasters feel uneasy in the event of illness in their houses, and
  • Mr. Downing was apt to get jumpy beyond the ordinary on such
  • occasions. All that was wrong with MacPhee, as a matter of fact, was a
  • very fair stomach-ache, the direct and legitimate result of eating six
  • buns, half a cocoa-nut, three doughnuts, two ices, an apple, and a
  • pound of cherries, and washing the lot down with tea. But Mr. Downing
  • saw in his attack the beginnings of some deadly scourge which would
  • sweep through and decimate the house. He had despatched Adair for the
  • doctor, and, after spending a few minutes prowling restlessly about
  • his room, was now standing at his front gate, waiting for Adair's
  • return.
  • It came about, therefore, that Mike, sprinting lightly in the
  • direction of home and safety, had his already shaken nerves further
  • maltreated by being hailed, at a range of about two yards, with a cry
  • of "Is that you, Adair?" The next moment Mr. Downing emerged from his
  • gate.
  • Mike stood not upon the order of his going. He was off like an
  • arrow--a flying figure of Guilt. Mr. Downing, after the first
  • surprise, seemed to grasp the situation. Ejaculating at intervals
  • the words, "Who is that? Stop! Who is that? Stop!" he dashed after
  • the much-enduring Wrykynian at an extremely creditable rate of
  • speed. Mr. Downing was by way of being a sprinter. He had won
  • handicap events at College sports at Oxford, and, if Mike had
  • not got such a good start, the race might have been over in the
  • first fifty yards. As it was, that victim of Fate, going well,
  • kept ahead. At the entrance to the school grounds he led by a
  • dozen yards. The procession passed into the field, Mike heading
  • as before for the pavilion.
  • As they raced across the soft turf, an idea occurred to Mike which he
  • was accustomed in after years to attribute to genius, the one flash of
  • it which had ever illumined his life.
  • It was this.
  • One of Mr. Downing's first acts, on starting the Fire Brigade at
  • Sedleigh, had been to institute an alarm bell. It had been rubbed into
  • the school officially--in speeches from the daïs--by the headmaster,
  • and unofficially--in earnest private conversations--by Mr. Downing,
  • that at the sound of this bell, at whatever hour of day or night,
  • every member of the school must leave his house in the quickest
  • possible way, and make for the open. The bell might mean that the
  • school was on fire, or it might mean that one of the houses was on
  • fire. In any case, the school had its orders--to get out into the open
  • at once.
  • Nor must it be supposed that the school was without practice at this
  • feat. Every now and then a notice would be found posted up on the
  • board to the effect that there would be fire drill during the dinner
  • hour that day. Sometimes the performance was bright and interesting,
  • as on the occasion when Mr. Downing, marshalling the brigade at his
  • front gate, had said, "My house is supposed to be on fire. Now let's
  • do a record!" which the Brigade, headed by Stone and Robinson,
  • obligingly did. They fastened the hose to the hydrant, smashed a
  • window on the ground floor (Mr. Downing having retired for a moment to
  • talk with the headmaster), and poured a stream of water into the room.
  • When Mr. Downing was at liberty to turn his attention to the matter,
  • he found that the room selected was his private study, most of the
  • light furniture of which was floating on a miniature lake. That
  • episode had rather discouraged his passion for realism, and fire drill
  • since then had taken the form, for the most part, of "practising
  • escaping." This was done by means of canvas shoots, kept in the
  • dormitories. At the sound of the bell the prefect of the dormitory
  • would heave one end of the shoot out of window, the other end being
  • fastened to the sill. He would then go down it himself, using his
  • elbows as a brake. Then the second man would follow his example, and
  • these two, standing below, would hold the end of the shoot so that the
  • rest of the dormitory could fly rapidly down it without injury, except
  • to their digestions.
  • After the first novelty of the thing had worn off, the school
  • had taken a rooted dislike to fire drill. It was a matter for
  • self-congratulation among them that Mr. Downing had never been
  • able to induce the headmaster to allow the alarm bell to be sounded
  • for fire drill at night. The headmaster, a man who had his views on
  • the amount of sleep necessary for the growing boy, had drawn the line
  • at night operations. "Sufficient unto the day" had been the gist of
  • his reply. If the alarm bell were to ring at night when there was no
  • fire, the school might mistake a genuine alarm of fire for a bogus
  • one, and refuse to hurry themselves.
  • So Mr. Downing had had to be content with day drill.
  • The alarm bell hung in the archway leading into the school grounds.
  • The end of the rope, when not in use, was fastened to a hook half-way
  • up the wall.
  • Mike, as he raced over the cricket field, made up his mind in a flash
  • that his only chance of getting out of this tangle was to shake his
  • pursuer off for a space of time long enough to enable him to get to
  • the rope and tug it. Then the school would come out. He would mix with
  • them, and in the subsequent confusion get back to bed unnoticed.
  • The task was easier than it would have seemed at the beginning of the
  • chase. Mr. Downing, owing to the two facts that he was not in the
  • strictest training, and that it is only an Alfred Shrubb who can run
  • for any length of time at top speed shouting "Who is that? Stop! Who
  • is that? Stop!" was beginning to feel distressed. There were bellows
  • to mend in the Downing camp. Mike perceived this, and forced the pace.
  • He rounded the pavilion ten yards to the good. Then, heading for the
  • gate, he put all he knew into one last sprint. Mr. Downing was not
  • equal to the effort. He worked gamely for a few strides, then fell
  • behind. When Mike reached the gate, a good forty yards separated them.
  • As far as Mike could judge--he was not in a condition to make nice
  • calculations--he had about four seconds in which to get busy with that
  • bell rope.
  • Probably nobody has ever crammed more energetic work into four seconds
  • than he did then.
  • The night was as still as only an English summer night can be, and the
  • first clang of the clapper sounded like a million iron girders falling
  • from a height on to a sheet of tin. He tugged away furiously, with an
  • eye on the now rapidly advancing and loudly shouting figure of the
  • housemaster.
  • And from the darkened house beyond there came a gradually swelling
  • hum, as if a vast hive of bees had been disturbed.
  • The school was awake.
  • CHAPTER XLVI
  • THE DECORATION OF SAMMY
  • Smith leaned against the mantelpiece in the senior day-room at
  • Outwood's--since Mike's innings against Downing's the Lost Lambs had
  • been received as brothers by that centre of disorder, so that even
  • Spiller was compelled to look on the hatchet as buried--and gave his
  • views on the events of the preceding night, or, rather, of that
  • morning, for it was nearer one than twelve when peace had once more
  • fallen on the school.
  • "Nothing that happens in this luny-bin," said Psmith, "has power to
  • surprise me now. There was a time when I might have thought it a
  • little unusual to have to leave the house through a canvas shoot at
  • one o'clock in the morning, but I suppose it's quite the regular thing
  • here. Old school tradition, &c. Men leave the school, and find that
  • they've got so accustomed to jumping out of window that they look on
  • it as a sort of affectation to go out by the door. I suppose none of
  • you merchants can give me any idea when the next knockabout
  • entertainment of this kind is likely to take place?"
  • "I wonder who rang that bell!" said Stone. "Jolly sporting idea."
  • "I believe it was Downing himself. If it was, I hope he's satisfied."
  • Jellicoe, who was appearing in society supported by a stick, looked
  • meaningly at Mike, and giggled, receiving in answer a stony stare.
  • Mike had informed Jellicoe of the details of his interview with Mr.
  • Barley at the "White Boar," and Jellicoe, after a momentary splutter
  • of wrath against the practical joker, was now in a particularly
  • light-hearted mood. He hobbled about, giggling at nothing and at
  • peace with all the world.
  • "It was a stirring scene," said Psmith. "The agility with which
  • Comrade Jellicoe boosted himself down the shoot was a triumph of mind
  • over matter. He seemed to forget his ankle. It was the nearest thing
  • to a Boneless Acrobatic Wonder that I have ever seen."
  • "I was in a beastly funk, I can tell you."
  • Stone gurgled.
  • "So was I," he said, "for a bit. Then, when I saw that it was all a
  • rag, I began to look about for ways of doing the thing really well. I
  • emptied about six jugs of water on a gang of kids under my window."
  • "I rushed into Downing's, and ragged some of the beds," said Robinson.
  • "It was an invigorating time," said Psmith. "A sort of pageant. I was
  • particularly struck with the way some of the bright lads caught hold
  • of the idea. There was no skimping. Some of the kids, to my certain
  • knowledge, went down the shoot a dozen times. There's nothing like
  • doing a thing thoroughly. I saw them come down, rush upstairs, and be
  • saved again, time after time. The thing became chronic with them. I
  • should say Comrade Downing ought to be satisfied with the high state
  • of efficiency to which he has brought us. At any rate I hope----"
  • There was a sound of hurried footsteps outside the door, and Sharpe, a
  • member of the senior day-room, burst excitedly in. He seemed amused.
  • "I say, have you chaps seen Sammy?"
  • "Seen who?" said Stone. "Sammy? Why?"
  • "You'll know in a second. He's just outside. Here, Sammy, Sammy,
  • Sammy! Sam! Sam!"
  • A bark and a patter of feet outside.
  • "Come on, Sammy. Good dog."
  • There was a moment's silence. Then a great yell of laughter burst
  • forth. Even Psmith's massive calm was shattered. As for Jellicoe, he
  • sobbed in a corner.
  • Sammy's beautiful white coat was almost entirely concealed by a thick
  • covering of bright red paint. His head, with the exception of the
  • ears, was untouched, and his serious, friendly eyes seemed to
  • emphasise the weirdness of his appearance. He stood in the doorway,
  • barking and wagging his tail, plainly puzzled at his reception. He was
  • a popular dog, and was always well received when he visited any of the
  • houses, but he had never before met with enthusiasm like this.
  • "Good old Sammy!"
  • "What on earth's been happening to him?"
  • "Who did it?"
  • Sharpe, the introducer, had no views on the matter.
  • "I found him outside Downing's, with a crowd round him. Everybody
  • seems to have seen him. I wonder who on earth has gone and mucked him
  • up like that!"
  • Mike was the first to show any sympathy for the maltreated animal.
  • "Poor old Sammy," he said, kneeling on the floor beside the victim,
  • and scratching him under the ear. "What a beastly shame! It'll take
  • hours to wash all that off him, and he'll hate it."
  • "It seems to me," said Psmith, regarding Sammy dispassionately through
  • his eyeglass, "that it's not a case for mere washing. They'll either
  • have to skin him bodily, or leave the thing to time. Time, the Great
  • Healer. In a year or two he'll fade to a delicate pink. I don't see
  • why you shouldn't have a pink bull-terrier. It would lend a touch of
  • distinction to the place. Crowds would come in excursion trains to see
  • him. By charging a small fee you might make him self-supporting. I
  • think I'll suggest it to Comrade Downing."
  • "There'll be a row about this," said Stone.
  • "Rows are rather sport when you're not mixed up in them," said
  • Robinson, philosophically. "There'll be another if we don't start off
  • for chapel soon. It's a quarter to."
  • There was a general move. Mike was the last to leave the room. As he
  • was going, Jellicoe stopped him. Jellicoe was staying in that Sunday,
  • owing to his ankle.
  • "I say," said Jellicoe, "I just wanted to thank you again about
  • that----"
  • "Oh, that's all right."
  • "No, but it really was awfully decent of you. You might have got into
  • a frightful row. Were you nearly caught?"
  • "Jolly nearly."
  • "It _was_ you who rang the bell, wasn't it?"
  • "Yes, it was. But for goodness sake don't go gassing about it, or
  • somebody will get to hear who oughtn't to, and I shall be sacked."
  • "All right. But, I say, you _are_ a chap!"
  • "What's the matter now?"
  • "I mean about Sammy, you know. It's a jolly good score off old
  • Downing. He'll be frightfully sick."
  • "Sammy!" cried Mike. "My good man, you don't think I did that, do you?
  • What absolute rot! I never touched the poor brute."
  • "Oh, all right," said Jellicoe. "But I wasn't going to tell any one,
  • of course."
  • "What do you mean?"
  • "You _are_ a chap!" giggled Jellicoe.
  • Mike walked to chapel rather thoughtfully.
  • CHAPTER XLVII
  • MR. DOWNING ON THE SCENT
  • There was just one moment, the moment in which, on going down to the
  • junior day-room of his house to quell an unseemly disturbance, he was
  • boisterously greeted by a vermilion bull terrier, when Mr. Downing was
  • seized with a hideous fear lest he had lost his senses. Glaring down
  • at the crimson animal that was pawing at his knees, he clutched at his
  • reason for one second as a drowning man clutches at a lifebelt.
  • Then the happy laughter of the young onlookers reassured him.
  • "Who--" he shouted, "WHO has done this?"
  • [Illustration: "WHO--" HE SHOUTED, "WHO HAS DONE THIS?"]
  • "Please, sir, we don't know," shrilled the chorus.
  • "Please, sir, he came in like that."
  • "Please, sir, we were sitting here when he suddenly ran in, all red."
  • A voice from the crowd: "Look at old Sammy!"
  • The situation was impossible. There was nothing to be done. He could
  • not find out by verbal inquiry who had painted the dog. The
  • possibility of Sammy being painted red during the night had never
  • occurred to Mr. Downing, and now that the thing had happened he had no
  • scheme of action. As Psmith would have said, he had confused the
  • unusual with the impossible, and the result was that he was taken by
  • surprise.
  • While he was pondering on this the situation was rendered still more
  • difficult by Sammy, who, taking advantage of the door being open,
  • escaped and rushed into the road, thus publishing his condition to all
  • and sundry. You can hush up a painted dog while it confines itself to
  • your own premises, but once it has mixed with the great public this
  • becomes out of the question. Sammy's state advanced from a private
  • trouble into a row. Mr. Downing's next move was in the same direction
  • that Sammy had taken, only, instead of running about the road, he went
  • straight to the headmaster.
  • The Head, who had had to leave his house in the small hours in his
  • pyjamas and a dressing-gown, was not in the best of tempers. He had a
  • cold in the head, and also a rooted conviction that Mr. Downing, in
  • spite of his strict orders, had rung the bell himself on the previous
  • night in order to test the efficiency of the school in saving
  • themselves in the event of fire. He received the housemaster frostily,
  • but thawed as the latter related the events which had led up to the
  • ringing of the bell.
  • "Dear me!" he said, deeply interested. "One of the boys at the school,
  • you think?"
  • "I am certain of it," said Mr. Downing.
  • "Was he wearing a school cap?"
  • "He was bare-headed. A boy who breaks out of his house at night would
  • hardly run the risk of wearing a distinguishing cap."
  • "No, no, I suppose not. A big boy, you say?"
  • "Very big."
  • "You did not see his face?"
  • "It was dark and he never looked back--he was in front of me all the
  • time."
  • "Dear me!"
  • "There is another matter----"
  • "Yes?"
  • "This boy, whoever he was, had done something before he rang the
  • bell--he had painted my dog Sampson red."
  • The headmaster's eyes protruded from their sockets. "He--he--_what_,
  • Mr. Downing?"
  • "He painted my dog red--bright red." Mr. Downing was too angry to see
  • anything humorous in the incident. Since the previous night he had
  • been wounded in his tenderest feelings. His Fire Brigade system had
  • been most shamefully abused by being turned into a mere instrument in
  • the hands of a malefactor for escaping justice, and his dog had been
  • held up to ridicule to all the world. He did not want to smile, he
  • wanted revenge.
  • The headmaster, on the other hand, did want to smile. It was not his
  • dog, he could look on the affair with an unbiased eye, and to him
  • there was something ludicrous in a white dog suddenly appearing as a
  • red dog.
  • "It is a scandalous thing!" said Mr. Downing.
  • "Quite so! Quite so!" said the headmaster hastily. "I shall punish the
  • boy who did it most severely. I will speak to the school in the Hall
  • after chapel."
  • Which he did, but without result. A cordial invitation to the criminal
  • to come forward and be executed was received in wooden silence by the
  • school, with the exception of Johnson III., of Outwood's, who,
  • suddenly reminded of Sammy's appearance by the headmaster's words,
  • broke into a wild screech of laughter, and was instantly awarded two
  • hundred lines.
  • The school filed out of the Hall to their various lunches, and Mr.
  • Downing was left with the conviction that, if he wanted the criminal
  • discovered, he would have to discover him for himself.
  • The great thing in affairs of this kind is to get a good start, and
  • Fate, feeling perhaps that it had been a little hard upon Mr. Downing,
  • gave him a most magnificent start. Instead of having to hunt for a
  • needle in a haystack, he found himself in a moment in the position of
  • being set to find it in a mere truss of straw.
  • It was Mr. Outwood who helped him. Sergeant Collard had waylaid the
  • archaeological expert on his way to chapel, and informed him that at
  • close on twelve the night before he had observed a youth, unidentified,
  • attempting to get into his house _via_ the water-pipe. Mr. Outwood,
  • whose thoughts were occupied with apses and plinths, not to mention
  • cromlechs, at the time, thanked the sergeant with absent-minded
  • politeness and passed on. Later he remembered the fact _à propos_
  • of some reflections on the subject of burglars in mediaeval England,
  • and passed it on to Mr. Downing as they walked back to lunch.
  • "Then the boy was in your house!" exclaimed Mr. Downing.
  • "Not actually in, as far as I understand. I gather from the sergeant
  • that he interrupted him before----"
  • "I mean he must have been one of the boys in your house."
  • "But what was he doing out at that hour?"
  • "He had broken out."
  • "Impossible, I think. Oh yes, quite impossible! I went round the
  • dormitories as usual at eleven o'clock last night, and all the boys
  • were asleep--all of them."
  • Mr. Downing was not listening. He was in a state of suppressed
  • excitement and exultation which made it hard for him to attend to his
  • colleague's slow utterances. He had a clue! Now that the search had
  • narrowed itself down to Outwood's house, the rest was comparatively
  • easy. Perhaps Sergeant Collard had actually recognised the boy. Or
  • reflection he dismissed this as unlikely, for the sergeant would
  • scarcely have kept a thing like that to himself; but he might very
  • well have seen more of him than he, Downing, had seen. It was only
  • with an effort that he could keep himself from rushing to the sergeant
  • then and there, and leaving the house lunch to look after itself. He
  • resolved to go the moment that meal was at an end.
  • Sunday lunch at a public-school house is probably one of the longest
  • functions in existence. It drags its slow length along like a languid
  • snake, but it finishes in time. In due course Mr. Downing, after
  • sitting still and eyeing with acute dislike everybody who asked for a
  • second helping, found himself at liberty.
  • Regardless of the claims of digestion, he rushed forth on the trail.
  • * * * * *
  • Sergeant Collard lived with his wife and a family of unknown
  • dimensions in the lodge at the school front gate. Dinner was just over
  • when Mr. Downing arrived, as a blind man could have told.
  • The sergeant received his visitor with dignity, ejecting the family,
  • who were torpid after roast beef and resented having to move, in order
  • to ensure privacy.
  • Having requested his host to smoke, which the latter was about to do
  • unasked, Mr. Downing stated his case.
  • "Mr. Outwood," he said, "tells me that last night, sergeant, you saw a
  • boy endeavouring to enter his house."
  • The sergeant blew a cloud of smoke. "Oo-oo-oo, yer," he said; "I did,
  • sir--spotted 'im, I did. Feeflee good at spottin', I am, sir. Dook of
  • Connaught, he used to say, ''Ere comes Sergeant Collard,' he used to
  • say, ''e's feeflee good at spottin'.'"
  • "What did you do?"
  • "Do? Oo-oo-oo! I shouts 'Oo-oo-oo yer, yer young monkey, what yer
  • doin' there?'"
  • "Yes?"
  • "But 'e was off in a flash, and I doubles after 'im prompt."
  • "But you didn't catch him?"
  • "No, sir," admitted the sergeant reluctantly.
  • "Did you catch sight of his face, sergeant?"
  • "No, sir, 'e was doublin' away in the opposite direction."
  • "Did you notice anything at all about his appearance?"
  • "'E was a long young chap, sir, with a pair of legs on him--feeflee
  • fast 'e run, sir. Oo-oo-oo, feeflee!"
  • "You noticed nothing else?"
  • "'E wasn't wearing no cap of any sort, sir."
  • "Ah!"
  • "Bare-'eaded, sir," added the sergeant, rubbing the point in.
  • "It was undoubtedly the same boy, undoubtedly! I wish you could have
  • caught a glimpse of his face, sergeant."
  • "So do I, sir."
  • "You would not be able to recognise him again if you saw him, you
  • think?"
  • "Oo-oo-oo! Wouldn't go so far as to say that, sir, 'cos yer see, I'm
  • feeflee good at spottin', but it was a dark night."
  • Mr. Downing rose to go.
  • "Well," he said, "the search is now considerably narrowed down,
  • considerably! It is certain that the boy was one of the boys in Mr.
  • Outwood's house."
  • "Young monkeys!" interjected the sergeant helpfully.
  • "Good-afternoon, sergeant."
  • "Good-afternoon to you, sir."
  • "Pray do not move, sergeant."
  • The sergeant had not shown the slightest inclination of doing anything
  • of the kind.
  • "I will find my way out. Very hot to-day, is it not?"
  • "Feeflee warm, sir; weather's goin' to break--workin' up for thunder."
  • "I hope not. The school plays the M.C.C. on Wednesday, and it would be
  • a pity if rain were to spoil our first fixture with them. Good
  • afternoon."
  • And Mr. Downing went out into the baking sunlight, while Sergeant
  • Collard, having requested Mrs. Collard to take the children out for a
  • walk at once, and furthermore to give young Ernie a clip side of the
  • 'ead, if he persisted in making so much noise, put a handkerchief over
  • his face, rested his feet on the table, and slept the sleep of the
  • just.
  • CHAPTER XLVIII
  • THE SLEUTH-HOUND
  • For the Doctor Watsons of this world, as opposed to the Sherlock
  • Holmeses, success in the province of detective work must always be, to
  • a very large extent, the result of luck. Sherlock Holmes can extract a
  • clue from a wisp of straw or a flake of cigar-ash. But Doctor Watson
  • has got to have it taken out for him, and dusted, and exhibited
  • clearly, with a label attached.
  • The average man is a Doctor Watson. We are wont to scoff in a
  • patronising manner at that humble follower of the great investigator,
  • but, as a matter of fact, we should have been just as dull ourselves.
  • We should not even have risen to the modest level of a Scotland Yard
  • Bungler. We should simply have hung around, saying:
  • "My dear Holmes, how--?" and all the rest of it, just as the
  • downtrodden medico did.
  • It is not often that the ordinary person has any need to see what he
  • can do in the way of detection. He gets along very comfortably in the
  • humdrum round of life without having to measure footprints and smile
  • quiet, tight-lipped smiles. But if ever the emergency does arise, he
  • thinks naturally of Sherlock Holmes, and his methods.
  • Mr. Downing had read all the Holmes stories with great attention, and
  • had thought many times what an incompetent ass Doctor Watson was; but,
  • now that he had started to handle his own first case, he was compelled
  • to admit that there was a good deal to be said in extenuation of
  • Watson's inability to unravel tangles. It certainly was uncommonly
  • hard, he thought, as he paced the cricket field after leaving Sergeant
  • Collard, to detect anybody, unless you knew who had really done the
  • crime. As he brooded over the case in hand, his sympathy for Dr.
  • Watson increased with every minute, and he began to feel a certain
  • resentment against Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. It was all very well for
  • Sir Arthur to be so shrewd and infallible about tracing a mystery to
  • its source, but he knew perfectly well who had done the thing before
  • he started!
  • Now that he began really to look into this matter of the alarm bell
  • and the painting of Sammy, the conviction was creeping over him that
  • the problem was more difficult than a casual observer might imagine.
  • He had got as far as finding that his quarry of the previous night was
  • a boy in Mr. Outwood's house, but how was he to get any farther? That
  • was the thing. There were, of course, only a limited number of boys in
  • Mr. Outwood's house as tall as the one he had pursued; but even if
  • there had been only one other, it would have complicated matters. If
  • you go to a boy and say, "Either you or Jones were out of your house
  • last night at twelve o'clock," the boy does not reply, "Sir, I cannot
  • tell a lie--I was out of my house last night at twelve o'clock." He
  • simply assumes the animated expression of a stuffed fish, and leaves
  • the next move to you. It is practically Stalemate.
  • All these things passed through Mr. Downing's mind as he walked up and
  • down the cricket field that afternoon.
  • What he wanted was a clue. But it is so hard for the novice to tell
  • what is a clue and what isn't. Probably, if he only knew, there were
  • clues lying all over the place, shouting to him to pick them up.
  • What with the oppressive heat of the day and the fatigue of hard
  • thinking, Mr. Downing was working up for a brain-storm, when Fate once
  • more intervened, this time in the shape of Riglett, a junior member of
  • his house.
  • Riglett slunk up in the shamefaced way peculiar to some boys, even
  • when they have done nothing wrong, and, having capped Mr. Downing with
  • the air of one who has been caught in the act of doing something
  • particularly shady, requested that he might be allowed to fetch his
  • bicycle from the shed.
  • "Your bicycle?" snapped Mr. Downing. Much thinking had made him
  • irritable. "What do you want with your bicycle?"
  • Riglett shuffled, stood first on his left foot, then on his right,
  • blushed, and finally remarked, as if it were not so much a sound
  • reason as a sort of feeble excuse for the low and blackguardly fact
  • that he wanted his bicycle, that he had got leave for tea that
  • afternoon.
  • Then Mr. Downing remembered. Riglett had an aunt resident about three
  • miles from the school, whom he was accustomed to visit occasionally on
  • Sunday afternoons during the term.
  • He felt for his bunch of keys, and made his way to the shed, Riglett
  • shambling behind at an interval of two yards.
  • Mr. Downing unlocked the door, and there on the floor was the Clue!
  • A clue that even Dr. Watson could not have overlooked.
  • Mr. Downing saw it, but did not immediately recognise it for what it
  • was. What he saw at first was not a Clue, but just a mess. He had a
  • tidy soul and abhorred messes. And this was a particularly messy mess.
  • The greater part of the flooring in the neighbourhood of the door was
  • a sea of red paint. The tin from which it had flowed was lying on its
  • side in the middle of the shed. The air was full of the pungent scent.
  • "Pah!" said Mr. Downing.
  • Then suddenly, beneath the disguise of the mess, he saw the clue. A
  • foot-mark! No less. A crimson foot-mark on the grey concrete!
  • Riglett, who had been waiting patiently two yards away, now coughed
  • plaintively. The sound recalled Mr. Downing to mundane matters.
  • "Get your bicycle, Riglett," he said, "and be careful where you tread.
  • Somebody has upset a pot of paint on the floor."
  • Riglett, walking delicately through dry places, extracted his bicycle
  • from the rack, and presently departed to gladden the heart of his
  • aunt, leaving Mr. Downing, his brain fizzing with the enthusiasm of
  • the detective, to lock the door and resume his perambulation of the
  • cricket field.
  • Give Dr. Watson a fair start, and he is a demon at the game. Mr.
  • Downing's brain was now working with a rapidity and clearness which a
  • professional sleuth might have envied.
  • Paint. Red paint. Obviously the same paint with which Sammy had been
  • decorated. A foot-mark. Whose foot-mark? Plainly that of the criminal
  • who had done the deed of decoration.
  • Yoicks!
  • There were two things, however, to be considered. Your careful
  • detective must consider everything. In the first place, the paint
  • might have been upset by the ground-man. It was the ground-man's
  • paint. He had been giving a fresh coating to the wood-work in front of
  • the pavilion scoring-box at the conclusion of yesterday's match. (A
  • labour of love which was the direct outcome of the enthusiasm for work
  • which Adair had instilled into him.) In that case the foot-mark might
  • be his.
  • _Note one_: Interview the ground-man on this point.
  • In the second place Adair might have upset the tin and trodden in its
  • contents when he went to get his bicycle in order to fetch the doctor
  • for the suffering MacPhee. This was the more probable of the two
  • contingencies, for it would have been dark in the shed when Adair went
  • into it.
  • _Note two_ Interview Adair as to whether he found, on returning to
  • the house, that there was paint on his boots.
  • Things were moving.
  • * * * * *
  • He resolved to take Adair first. He could get the ground-man's address
  • from him.
  • Passing by the trees under whose shade Mike and Psmith and Dunster had
  • watched the match on the previous day, he came upon the Head of his
  • house in a deck-chair reading a book. A summer Sunday afternoon is the
  • time for reading in deck-chairs.
  • "Oh, Adair," he said. "No, don't get up. I merely wished to ask you if
  • you found any paint on your boots when you returned to the house last
  • night?"
  • "Paint, sir?" Adair was plainly puzzled. His book had been
  • interesting, and had driven the Sammy incident out of his head.
  • "I see somebody has spilt some paint on the floor of the bicycle shed.
  • You did not do that, I suppose, when you went to fetch your bicycle?"
  • "No, sir."
  • "It is spilt all over the floor. I wondered whether you had happened
  • to tread in it. But you say you found no paint on your boots this
  • morning?"
  • "No, sir, my bicycle is always quite near the door of the shed. I
  • didn't go into the shed at all."
  • "I see. Quite so. Thank you, Adair. Oh, by the way, Adair, where does
  • Markby live?"
  • "I forget the name of his cottage, sir, but I could show you in a
  • second. It's one of those cottages just past the school gates, on the
  • right as you turn out into the road. There are three in a row. His is
  • the first you come to. There's a barn just before you get to them."
  • "Thank you. I shall be able to find them. I should like to speak to
  • Markby for a moment on a small matter."
  • A sharp walk took him to the cottages Adair had mentioned. He
  • rapped at the door of the first, and the ground-man came out in
  • his shirt-sleeves, blinking as if he had just woke up, as was
  • indeed the case.
  • "Oh, Markby!"
  • "Sir?"
  • "You remember that you were painting the scoring-box in the pavilion
  • last night after the match?"
  • "Yes, sir. It wanted a lick of paint bad. The young gentlemen will
  • scramble about and get through the window. Makes it look shabby, sir.
  • So I thought I'd better give it a coating so as to look ship-shape
  • when the Marylebone come down."
  • "Just so. An excellent idea. Tell me, Markby, what did you do with the
  • pot of paint when you had finished?"
  • "Put it in the bicycle shed, sir."
  • "On the floor?"
  • "On the floor, sir? No. On the shelf at the far end, with the can of
  • whitening what I use for marking out the wickets, sir."
  • "Of course, yes. Quite so. Just as I thought."
  • "Do you want it, sir?"
  • "No, thank you, Markby, no, thank you. The fact is, somebody who had
  • no business to do so has moved the pot of paint from the shelf to the
  • floor, with the result that it has been kicked over, and spilt. You
  • had better get some more to-morrow. Thank you, Markby. That is all I
  • wished to know."
  • Mr. Downing walked back to the school thoroughly excited. He was hot
  • on the scent now. The only other possible theories had been tested and
  • successfully exploded. The thing had become simple to a degree. All he
  • had to do was to go to Mr. Outwood's house--the idea of searching a
  • fellow-master's house did not appear to him at all a delicate task;
  • somehow one grew unconsciously to feel that Mr. Outwood did not really
  • exist as a man capable of resenting liberties--find the paint-splashed
  • boot, ascertain its owner, and denounce him to the headmaster.
  • Picture, Blue Fire and "God Save the King" by the full strength of the
  • company. There could be no doubt that a paint-splashed boot must be in
  • Mr. Outwood's house somewhere. A boy cannot tread in a pool of paint
  • without showing some signs of having done so. It was Sunday, too, so
  • that the boot would not yet have been cleaned. Yoicks! Also Tally-ho!
  • This really was beginning to be something like business.
  • Regardless of the heat, the sleuth-hound hurried across to Outwood's
  • as fast as he could walk.
  • CHAPTER XLIX
  • A CHECK
  • The only two members of the house not out in the grounds when he
  • arrived were Mike and Psmith. They were standing on the gravel drive
  • in front of the boys' entrance. Mike had a deck-chair in one hand and
  • a book in the other. Psmith--for even the greatest minds will
  • sometimes unbend--was playing diabolo. That is to say, he was trying
  • without success to raise the spool from the ground.
  • "There's a kid in France," said Mike disparagingly, as the bobbin
  • rolled off the string for the fourth time, "who can do it three
  • thousand seven hundred and something times."
  • Psmith smoothed a crease out of his waistcoat and tried again. He had
  • just succeeded in getting the thing to spin when Mr. Downing arrived.
  • The sound of his footsteps disturbed Psmith and brought the effort to
  • nothing.
  • "Enough of this spoolery," said he, flinging the sticks through the
  • open window of the senior day-room. "I was an ass ever to try it. The
  • philosophical mind needs complete repose in its hours of leisure.
  • Hullo!"
  • He stared after the sleuth-hound, who had just entered the house.
  • "What the dickens," said Mike, "does he mean by barging in as if he'd
  • bought the place?"
  • "Comrade Downing looks pleased with himself. What brings him round in
  • this direction, I wonder! Still, no matter. The few articles which he
  • may sneak from our study are of inconsiderable value. He is welcome to
  • them. Do you feel inclined to wait awhile till I have fetched a chair
  • and book?"
  • "I'll be going on. I shall be under the trees at the far end of the
  • ground."
  • "'Tis well. I will be with you in about two ticks."
  • Mike walked on towards the field, and Psmith, strolling upstairs to
  • fetch his novel, found Mr. Downing standing in the passage with the
  • air of one who has lost his bearings.
  • "A warm afternoon, sir," murmured Psmith courteously, as he passed.
  • "Er--Smith!"
  • "Sir?"
  • "I--er--wish to go round the dormitories."
  • It was Psmith's guiding rule in life never to be surprised at
  • anything, so he merely inclined his head gracefully, and said nothing.
  • "I should be glad if you would fetch the keys and show me where the
  • rooms are."
  • "With acute pleasure, sir," said Psmith. "Or shall I fetch Mr.
  • Outwood, sir?"
  • "Do as I tell you, Smith," snapped Mr. Downing.
  • Psmith said no more, but went down to the matron's room. The matron
  • being out, he abstracted the bunch of keys from her table and rejoined
  • the master.
  • "Shall I lead the way, sir?" he asked.
  • Mr. Downing nodded.
  • "Here, sir," said Psmith, opening a door, "we have Barnes' dormitory.
  • An airy room, constructed on the soundest hygienic principles. Each
  • boy, I understand, has quite a considerable number of cubic feet of
  • air all to himself. It is Mr. Outwood's boast that no boy has ever
  • asked for a cubic foot of air in vain. He argues justly----"
  • He broke off abruptly and began to watch the other's manoeuvres in
  • silence. Mr. Downing was peering rapidly beneath each bed in turn.
  • "Are you looking for Barnes, sir?" inquired Psmith politely. "I think
  • he's out in the field."
  • Mr. Downing rose, having examined the last bed, crimson in the face
  • with the exercise.
  • "Show me the next dormitory, Smith," he said, panting slightly.
  • "This," said Psmith, opening the next door and sinking his voice to an
  • awed whisper, "is where _I_ sleep!"
  • Mr. Downing glanced swiftly beneath the three beds. "Excuse me, sir,"
  • said Psmith, "but are we chasing anything?"
  • "Be good enough, Smith," said Mr. Downing with asperity, "to keep your
  • remarks to yourself."
  • "I was only wondering, sir. Shall I show you the next in order?"
  • "Certainly."
  • They moved on up the passage.
  • Drawing blank at the last dormitory, Mr. Downing paused, baffled.
  • Psmith waited patiently by. An idea struck the master.
  • "The studies, Smith," he cried.
  • "Aha!" said Psmith. "I beg your pardon, sir. The observation escaped
  • me unawares. The frenzy of the chase is beginning to enter into my
  • blood. Here we have----"
  • Mr. Downing stopped short.
  • "Is this impertinence studied, Smith?"
  • "Ferguson's study, sir? No, sir. That's further down the passage. This
  • is Barnes'."
  • Mr. Downing looked at him closely. Psmith's face was wooden in its
  • gravity. The master snorted suspiciously, then moved on.
  • "Whose is this?" he asked, rapping a door.
  • "This, sir, is mine and Jackson's."
  • "What! Have you a study? You are low down in the school for it."
  • "I think, sir, that Mr. Outwood gave it us rather as a testimonial to
  • our general worth than to our proficiency in school-work."
  • Mr. Downing raked the room with a keen eye. The absence of bars from
  • the window attracted his attention.
  • "Have you no bars to your windows here, such as there are in my
  • house?"
  • "There appears to be no bar, sir," said Psmith, putting up his
  • eyeglass.
  • Mr Downing was leaning out of the window.
  • "A lovely view, is it not, sir?" said Psmith. "The trees, the field,
  • the distant hills----"
  • Mr. Downing suddenly started. His eye had been caught by the water-pipe
  • at the side of the window. The boy whom Sergeant Collard had seen
  • climbing the pipe must have been making for this study.
  • He spun round and met Psmith's blandly inquiring gaze. He looked at
  • Psmith carefully for a moment. No. The boy he had chased last night
  • had not been Psmith. That exquisite's figure and general appearance
  • were unmistakable, even in the dusk.
  • "Whom did you say you shared this study with, Smith?"
  • "Jackson, sir. The cricketer."
  • "Never mind about his cricket, Smith," said Mr. Downing with
  • irritation.
  • "No, sir."
  • "He is the only other occupant of the room?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "Nobody else comes into it?"
  • "If they do, they go out extremely quickly, sir."
  • "Ah! Thank you, Smith."
  • "Not at all, sir."
  • Mr. Downing pondered. Jackson! The boy bore him a grudge. The boy was
  • precisely the sort of boy to revenge himself by painting the dog
  • Sammy. And, gadzooks! The boy whom he had pursued last night had been
  • just about Jackson's size and build!
  • Mr. Downing was as firmly convinced at that moment that Mike's had
  • been the hand to wield the paint-brush as he had ever been of anything
  • in his life.
  • "Smith!" he said excitedly.
  • "On the spot, sir," said Psmith affably.
  • "Where are Jackson's boots?"
  • There are moments when the giddy excitement of being right on the
  • trail causes the amateur (or Watsonian) detective to be incautious.
  • Such a moment came to Mr. Downing then. If he had been wise, he would
  • have achieved his object, the getting a glimpse of Mike's boots, by a
  • devious and snaky route. As it was, he rushed straight on.
  • "His boots, sir? He has them on. I noticed them as he went out just
  • now."
  • "Where is the pair he wore yesterday?"
  • "Where are the boots of yester-year?" murmured Psmith to himself. "I
  • should say at a venture, sir, that they would be in the basket
  • downstairs. Edmund, our genial knife-and-boot boy, collects them, I
  • believe, at early dawn."
  • "Would they have been cleaned yet?"
  • "If I know Edmund, sir--no."
  • "Smith," said Mr. Downing, trembling with excitement, "go and bring
  • that basket to me here."
  • Psmith's brain was working rapidly as he went downstairs. What exactly
  • was at the back of the sleuth's mind, prompting these manoeuvres, he
  • did not know. But that there was something, and that that something
  • was directed in a hostile manner against Mike, probably in connection
  • with last night's wild happenings, he was certain. Psmith had noticed,
  • on leaving his bed at the sound of the alarm bell, that he and
  • Jellicoe were alone in the room. That might mean that Mike had gone
  • out through the door when the bell sounded, or it might mean that he
  • had been out all the time. It began to look as if the latter solution
  • were the correct one.
  • * * * * *
  • He staggered back with the basket, painfully conscious the while that
  • it was creasing his waistcoat, and dumped is down on the study floor.
  • Mr. Downing stooped eagerly over it. Psmith leaned against the wall,
  • and straightened out the damaged garment.
  • "We have here, sir," he said, "a fair selection of our various
  • bootings."
  • Mr. Downing looked up.
  • "You dropped none of the boots on your way up, Smith?"
  • "Not one, sir. It was a fine performance."
  • Mr. Downing uttered a grunt of satisfaction, and bent once more to his
  • task. Boots flew about the room. Mr. Downing knelt on the floor beside
  • the basket, and dug like a terrier at a rat-hole.
  • At last he made a dive, and, with an exclamation of triumph, rose to
  • his feet. In his hand he held a boot.
  • "Put those back again, Smith," he said.
  • The ex-Etonian, wearing an expression such as a martyr might have worn
  • on being told off for the stake, began to pick up the scattered
  • footgear, whistling softly the tune of "I do all the dirty work," as
  • he did so.
  • "That's the lot, sir," he said, rising.
  • "Ah. Now come across with me to the headmaster's house. Leave the
  • basket here. You can carry it back when you return."
  • "Shall I put back that boot, sir?"
  • "Certainly not. I shall take this with me, of course."
  • "Shall I carry it, sir?"
  • Mr. Downing reflected.
  • "Yes, Smith," he said. "I think it would be best."
  • It occurred to him that the spectacle of a housemaster wandering
  • abroad on the public highway, carrying a dirty boot, might be a trifle
  • undignified. You never knew whom you might meet on Sunday afternoon.
  • Psmith took the boot, and doing so, understood what before had puzzled
  • him.
  • Across the toe of the boot was a broad splash of red paint.
  • He knew nothing, of course, of the upset tin in the bicycle shed;
  • but when a housemaster's dog has been painted red in the night, and
  • when, on the following day, the housemaster goes about in search of a
  • paint-splashed boot, one puts two and two together. Psmith looked at
  • the name inside the boot. It was "Brown, boot-maker, Bridgnorth."
  • Bridgnorth was only a few miles from his own home and Mike's.
  • Undoubtedly it was Mike's boot.
  • "Can you tell me whose boot that is?" asked Mr. Downing.
  • Psmith looked at it again.
  • "No, sir. I can't say the little chap's familiar to me."
  • "Come with me, then."
  • Mr. Downing left the room. After a moment Psmith followed him.
  • The headmaster was in his garden. Thither Mr. Downing made his way,
  • the boot-bearing Psmith in close attendance.
  • The Head listened to the amateur detective's statement with interest.
  • "Indeed?" he said, when Mr. Downing had finished.
  • "Indeed? Dear me! It certainly seems--It is a curiously well-connected
  • thread of evidence. You are certain that there was red paint on this
  • boot you discovered in Mr. Outwood's house?"
  • "I have it with me. I brought it on purpose to show to you. Smith!"
  • "Sir?"
  • "You have the boot?"
  • "Ah," said the headmaster, putting on a pair of pince-nez, "now let me
  • look at--This, you say, is the--? Just so. Just so. Just.... But, er,
  • Mr. Downing, it may be that I have not examined this boot with
  • sufficient care, but--Can _you_ point out to me exactly where
  • this paint is that you speak of?"
  • Mr. Downing stood staring at the boot with a wild, fixed stare. Of any
  • suspicion of paint, red or otherwise, it was absolutely and entirely
  • innocent.
  • CHAPTER L
  • THE DESTROYER OF EVIDENCE
  • The boot became the centre of attraction, the cynosure of all eyes.
  • Mr. Downing fixed it with the piercing stare of one who feels that his
  • brain is tottering. The headmaster looked at it with a mildly puzzled
  • expression. Psmith, putting up his eyeglass, gazed at it with a sort
  • of affectionate interest, as if he were waiting for it to do a trick
  • of some kind.
  • Mr. Downing was the first to break the silence.
  • "There was paint on this boot," he said vehemently. "I tell you there
  • was a splash of red paint across the toe. Smith will bear me out in
  • this. Smith, you saw the paint on this boot?"
  • "Paint, sir!"
  • "What! Do you mean to tell me that you did _not_ see it?"
  • "No, sir. There was no paint on this boot."
  • "This is foolery. I saw it with my own eyes. It was a broad splash
  • right across the toe."
  • The headmaster interposed.
  • "You must have made a mistake, Mr. Downing. There is certainly no
  • trace of paint on this boot. These momentary optical delusions are,
  • I fancy, not uncommon. Any doctor will tell you----"
  • "I had an aunt, sir," said Psmith chattily, "who was remarkably
  • subject----"
  • "It is absurd. I cannot have been mistaken," said Mr. Downing. "I am
  • positively certain the toe of this boot was red when I found it."
  • "It is undoubtedly black now, Mr. Downing."
  • "A sort of chameleon boot," murmured Psmith.
  • The goaded housemaster turned on him.
  • "What did you say, Smith?"
  • "Did I speak, sir?" said Psmith, with the start of one coming suddenly
  • out of a trance.
  • Mr. Downing looked searchingly at him.
  • "You had better be careful, Smith."
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "I strongly suspect you of having something to do with this."
  • "Really, Mr. Downing," said the headmaster, "that is surely
  • improbable. Smith could scarcely have cleaned the boot on his way to
  • my house. On one occasion I inadvertently spilt some paint on a shoe
  • of my own. I can assure you that it does not brush off. It needs a
  • very systematic cleaning before all traces are removed."
  • "Exactly, sir," said Psmith. "My theory, if I may----?"
  • "Certainly, Smith."
  • Psmith bowed courteously and proceeded.
  • "My theory, sir, is that Mr. Downing was deceived by the light and
  • shade effects on the toe of the boot. The afternoon sun, streaming in
  • through the window, must have shone on the boot in such a manner as to
  • give it a momentary and fictitious aspect of redness. If Mr. Downing
  • recollects, he did not look long at the boot. The picture on the
  • retina of the eye, consequently, had not time to fade. I remember
  • thinking myself, at the moment, that the boot appeared to have a
  • certain reddish tint. The mistake----"
  • "Bah!" said Mr. Downing shortly.
  • "Well, really," said the headmaster, "it seems to me that that is the
  • only explanation that will square with the facts. A boot that is
  • really smeared with red paint does not become black of itself in the
  • course of a few minutes."
  • "You are very right, sir," said Psmith with benevolent approval. "May
  • I go now, sir? I am in the middle of a singularly impressive passage
  • of Cicero's speech De Senectute."
  • "I am sorry that you should leave your preparation till Sunday, Smith.
  • It is a habit of which I altogether disapprove."
  • "I am reading it, sir," said Psmith, with simple dignity, "for
  • pleasure. Shall I take the boot with me, sir?"
  • "If Mr. Downing does not want it?"
  • The housemaster passed the fraudulent piece of evidence to Psmith
  • without a word, and the latter, having included both masters in a
  • kindly smile, left the garden.
  • Pedestrians who had the good fortune to be passing along the road
  • between the housemaster's house and Mr. Outwood's at that moment saw
  • what, if they had but known it, was a most unusual sight, the
  • spectacle of Psmith running. Psmith's usual mode of progression was a
  • dignified walk. He believed in the contemplative style rather than the
  • hustling.
  • On this occasion, however, reckless of possible injuries to the crease
  • of his trousers, he raced down the road, and turning in at Outwood's
  • gate, bounded upstairs like a highly trained professional athlete.
  • On arriving at the study, his first act was to remove a boot from the
  • top of the pile in the basket, place it in the small cupboard under
  • the bookshelf, and lock the cupboard. Then he flung himself into a
  • chair and panted.
  • "Brain," he said to himself approvingly, "is what one chiefly needs in
  • matters of this kind. Without brain, where are we? In the soup, every
  • time. The next development will be when Comrade Downing thinks it
  • over, and is struck with the brilliant idea that it's just possible
  • that the boot he gave me to carry and the boot I did carry were not
  • one boot but two boots. Meanwhile----"
  • He dragged up another chair for his feet and picked up his novel.
  • He had not been reading long when there was a footstep in the passage,
  • and Mr. Downing appeared.
  • The possibility, in fact the probability, of Psmith having substituted
  • another boot for the one with the incriminating splash of paint on it
  • had occurred to him almost immediately on leaving the headmaster's
  • garden. Psmith and Mike, he reflected, were friends. Psmith's impulse
  • would be to do all that lay in his power to shield Mike. Feeling
  • aggrieved with himself that he had not thought of this before, he,
  • too, hurried over to Outwood's.
  • Mr. Downing was brisk and peremptory.
  • "I wish to look at these boots again," he said. Psmith, with a sigh,
  • laid down his novel, and rose to assist him.
  • "Sit down, Smith," said the housemaster. "I can manage without your
  • help."
  • Psmith sat down again, carefully tucking up the knees of his trousers,
  • and watched him with silent interest through his eyeglass.
  • The scrutiny irritated Mr. Downing.
  • "Put that thing away, Smith," he said.
  • "That thing, sir?"
  • "Yes, that ridiculous glass. Put it away."
  • "Why, sir?"
  • "Why! Because I tell you to do so."
  • "I guessed that that was the reason, sir," sighed Psmith replacing the
  • eyeglass in his waistcoat pocket. He rested his elbows on his knees,
  • and his chin on his hands, and resumed his contemplative inspection of
  • the boot-expert, who, after fidgeting for a few moments, lodged
  • another complaint.
  • "Don't sit there staring at me, Smith."
  • "I was interested in what you were doing, sir."
  • "Never mind. Don't stare at me in that idiotic way."
  • "May I read, sir?" asked Psmith, patiently.
  • "Yes, read if you like."
  • "Thank you, sir."
  • Psmith took up his book again, and Mr. Downing, now thoroughly
  • irritated, pursued his investigations in the boot-basket.
  • He went through it twice, but each time without success. After the
  • second search, he stood up, and looked wildly round the room. He was
  • as certain as he could be of anything that the missing piece of
  • evidence was somewhere in the study. It was no use asking Psmith
  • point-blank where it was, for Psmith's ability to parry dangerous
  • questions with evasive answers was quite out of the common.
  • His eye roamed about the room. There was very little cover there, even
  • for so small a fugitive as a number nine boot. The floor could be
  • acquitted, on sight, of harbouring the quarry.
  • Then he caught sight of the cupboard, and something seemed to tell him
  • that there was the place to look.
  • "Smith!" he said.
  • Psmith had been reading placidly all the while.
  • "Yes, sir?"
  • "What is in this cupboard?"
  • "That cupboard, sir?"
  • "Yes. This cupboard." Mr. Downing rapped the door irritably.
  • "Just a few odd trifles, sir. We do not often use it. A ball of
  • string, perhaps. Possibly an old note-book. Nothing of value or
  • interest."
  • "Open it."
  • "I think you will find that it is locked, sir."
  • "Unlock it."
  • "But where is the key, sir?"
  • "Have you not got the key?"
  • "If the key is not in the lock, sir, you may depend upon it that it
  • will take a long search to find it."
  • "Where did you see it last?"
  • "It was in the lock yesterday morning. Jackson might have taken it."
  • "Where is Jackson?"
  • "Out in the field somewhere, sir."
  • Mr. Downing thought for a moment.
  • "I don't believe a word of it," he said shortly. "I have my reasons
  • for thinking that you are deliberately keeping the contents of that
  • cupboard from me. I shall break open the door."
  • Psmith got up.
  • "I'm afraid you mustn't do that, sir."
  • Mr. Downing stared, amazed.
  • "Are you aware whom you are talking to, Smith?" he inquired acidly.
  • "Yes, sir. And I know it's not Mr. Outwood, to whom that cupboard
  • happens to belong. If you wish to break it open, you must get his
  • permission. He is the sole lessee and proprietor of that cupboard. I
  • am only the acting manager."
  • Mr. Downing paused. He also reflected. Mr. Outwood in the general rule
  • did not count much in the scheme of things, but possibly there were
  • limits to the treating of him as if he did not exist. To enter his
  • house without his permission and search it to a certain extent was all
  • very well. But when it came to breaking up his furniture, perhaps----!
  • On the other hand, there was the maddening thought that if he left
  • the study in search of Mr. Outwood, in order to obtain his sanction
  • for the house-breaking work which he proposed to carry through,
  • Smith would be alone in the room. And he knew that, if Smith were
  • left alone in the room, he would instantly remove the boot to some
  • other hiding-place. He thoroughly disbelieved the story of the lost
  • key. He was perfectly convinced that the missing boot was in the
  • cupboard.
  • He stood chewing these thoughts for awhile, Psmith in the meantime
  • standing in a graceful attitude in front of the cupboard, staring into
  • vacancy.
  • Then he was seized with a happy idea. Why should he leave the room at
  • all? If he sent Smith, then he himself could wait and make certain
  • that the cupboard was not tampered with.
  • "Smith," he said, "go and find Mr. Outwood, and ask him to be good
  • enough to come here for a moment."
  • CHAPTER LI
  • MAINLY ABOUT BOOTS
  • "Be quick, Smith," he said, as the latter stood looking at him without
  • making any movement in the direction of the door.
  • "_Quick_, sir?" said Psmith meditatively, as if he had been asked
  • a conundrum.
  • "Go and find Mr. Outwood at once."
  • Psmith still made no move.
  • "Do you intend to disobey me, Smith?" Mr. Downing's voice was steely.
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "What!"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • There was one of those you-could-have-heard-a-pin-drop silences.
  • Psmith was staring reflectively at the ceiling. Mr. Downing was
  • looking as if at any moment he might say, "Thwarted to me face, ha,
  • ha! And by a very stripling!"
  • It was Psmith, however, who resumed the conversation. His manner was
  • almost too respectful; which made it all the more a pity that what he
  • said did not keep up the standard of docility.
  • "I take my stand," he said, "on a technical point. I say to myself,
  • 'Mr. Downing is a man I admire as a human being and respect as a
  • master. In----'"
  • "This impertinence is doing you no good, Smith."
  • Psmith waved a hand deprecatingly.
  • "If you will let me explain, sir. I was about to say that in any
  • other place but Mr. Outwood's house, your word would be law. I would
  • fly to do your bidding. If you pressed a button, I would do the rest.
  • But in Mr. Outwood's house I cannot do anything except what pleases me
  • or what is ordered by Mr. Outwood. I ought to have remembered that
  • before. One cannot," he continued, as who should say, "Let us be
  • reasonable," "one cannot, to take a parallel case, imagine the colonel
  • commanding the garrison at a naval station going on board a battleship
  • and ordering the crew to splice the jibboom spanker. It might be an
  • admirable thing for the Empire that the jibboom spanker _should_
  • be spliced at that particular juncture, but the crew would naturally
  • decline to move in the matter until the order came from the commander
  • of the ship. So in my case. If you will go to Mr. Outwood, and explain
  • to him how matters stand, and come back and say to me, 'Psmith, Mr.
  • Outwood wishes you to ask him to be good enough to come to this
  • study,' then I shall be only too glad to go and find him. You see my
  • difficulty, sir?"
  • "Go and fetch Mr. Outwood, Smith. I shall not tell you again."
  • Psmith flicked a speck of dust from his coat-sleeve.
  • "Very well, Smith."
  • "I can assure you, sir, at any rate, that if there is a boot in that
  • cupboard now, there will be a boot there when you return."
  • Mr. Downing stalked out of the room.
  • "But," added Psmith pensively to himself, as the footsteps died away,
  • "I did not promise that it would be the same boot."
  • He took the key from his pocket, unlocked the cupboard, and took out
  • the boot. Then he selected from the basket a particularly battered
  • specimen. Placing this in the cupboard, he re-locked the door.
  • His next act was to take from the shelf a piece of string. Attaching
  • one end of this to the boot that he had taken from the cupboard, he
  • went to the window. His first act was to fling the cupboard-key out
  • into the bushes. Then he turned to the boot. On a level with the sill
  • the water-pipe, up which Mike had started to climb the night before,
  • was fastened to the wall by an iron band. He tied the other end of the
  • string to this, and let the boot swing free. He noticed with approval,
  • when it had stopped swinging, that it was hidden from above by the
  • window-sill.
  • He returned to his place at the mantelpiece.
  • As an after-thought he took another boot from the basket, and thrust
  • it up the chimney. A shower of soot fell into the grate, blackening
  • his hand.
  • The bathroom was a few yards down the corridor. He went there, and
  • washed off the soot.
  • When he returned, Mr. Downing was in the study, and with him Mr.
  • Outwood, the latter looking dazed, as if he were not quite equal to
  • the intellectual pressure of the situation.
  • "Where have you been, Smith?" asked Mr. Downing sharply.
  • "I have been washing my hands, sir."
  • "H'm!" said Mr. Downing suspiciously.
  • "Yes, I saw Smith go into the bathroom," said Mr. Outwood. "Smith, I
  • cannot quite understand what it is Mr. Downing wishes me to do."
  • "My dear Outwood," snapped the sleuth, "I thought I had made it
  • perfectly clear. Where is the difficulty?"
  • "I cannot understand why you should suspect Smith of keeping his boots
  • in a cupboard, and," added Mr. Outwood with spirit, catching sight of
  • a Good-Gracious-has-the-man-_no_-sense look on the other's face,"
  • why he should not do so if he wishes it."
  • "Exactly, sir," said Psmith, approvingly. "You have touched the spot."
  • "If I must explain again, my dear Outwood, will you kindly give me
  • your attention for a moment. Last night a boy broke out of your house,
  • and painted my dog Sampson red."
  • "He painted--!" said Mr. Outwood, round-eyed. "Why?"
  • "I don't know why. At any rate, he did. During the escapade one of his
  • boots was splashed with the paint. It is that boot which I believe
  • Smith to be concealing in this cupboard. Now, do you understand?"
  • Mr. Outwood looked amazedly at Smith, and Psmith shook his head
  • sorrowfully at Mr. Outwood. Psmith'a expression said, as plainly as if
  • he had spoken the words, "We must humour him."
  • "So with your permission, as Smith declares that he has lost the key,
  • I propose to break open the door of this cupboard. Have you any
  • objection?"
  • Mr. Outwood started.
  • "Objection? None at all, my dear fellow, none at all. Let me see,
  • _what_ is it you wish to do?"
  • "This," said Mr. Downing shortly.
  • There was a pair of dumb-bells on the floor, belonging to Mike. He
  • never used them, but they always managed to get themselves packed with
  • the rest of his belongings on the last day of the holidays. Mr.
  • Downing seized one of these, and delivered two rapid blows at the
  • cupboard-door. The wood splintered. A third blow smashed the flimsy
  • lock. The cupboard, with any skeletons it might contain, was open for
  • all to view.
  • Mr. Downing uttered a cry of triumph, and tore the boot from its
  • resting-place.
  • "I told you," he said. "I told you."
  • "I wondered where that boot had got to," said Psmith. "I've been
  • looking for it for days."
  • Mr. Downing was examining his find. He looked up with an exclamation
  • of surprise and wrath.
  • "This boot has no paint on it," he said, glaring at Psmith. "This is
  • not the boot."
  • "It certainly appears, sir," said Psmith sympathetically, "to be free
  • from paint. There's a sort of reddish glow just there, if you look at
  • it sideways," he added helpfully.
  • "Did you place that boot there, Smith?"
  • "I must have done. Then, when I lost the key----"
  • "Are you satisfied now, Downing?" interrupted Mr. Outwood with
  • asperity, "or is there any more furniture you wish to break?"
  • The excitement of seeing his household goods smashed with a dumb-bell
  • had made the archaeological student quite a swashbuckler for the
  • moment. A little more, and one could imagine him giving Mr. Downing a
  • good, hard knock.
  • The sleuth-hound stood still for a moment, baffled. But his brain was
  • working with the rapidity of a buzz-saw. A chance remark of Mr.
  • Outwood's set him fizzing off on the trail once more. Mr. Outwood had
  • caught sight of the little pile of soot in the grate. He bent down to
  • inspect it.
  • "Dear me," he said, "I must remember to have the chimneys swept. It
  • should have been done before."
  • Mr. Downing's eye, rolling in a fine frenzy from heaven to earth, from
  • earth to heaven, also focussed itself on the pile of soot; and a
  • thrill went through him. Soot in the fireplace! Smith washing his
  • hands! ("You know my methods, my dear Watson. Apply them.")
  • Mr. Downing's mind at that moment contained one single thought; and
  • that thought was "What ho for the chimney!"
  • He dived forward with a rush, nearly knocking Mr. Outwood off his
  • feet, and thrust an arm up into the unknown. An avalanche of soot fell
  • upon his hand and wrist, but he ignored it, for at the same instant
  • his fingers had closed upon what he was seeking.
  • "Ah," he said. "I thought as much. You were not quite clever enough,
  • after all, Smith."
  • "No, sir," said Psmith patiently. "We all make mistakes."
  • "You would have done better, Smith, not to have given me all this
  • trouble. You have done yourself no good by it."
  • "It's been great fun, though, sir," argued Psmith.
  • "Fun!" Mr. Downing laughed grimly. "You may have reason to change your
  • opinion of what constitutes----"
  • His voice failed as his eye fell on the all-black toe of the boot. He
  • looked up, and caught Psmith's benevolent gaze. He straightened
  • himself and brushed a bead of perspiration from his face with the back
  • of his hand. Unfortunately, he used the sooty hand, and the result was
  • like some gruesome burlesque of a nigger minstrel.
  • "Did--you--put--that--boot--there, Smith?" he asked slowly.
  • [Illustration: "DID--YOU--PUT--THAT--BOOT--THERE, SMITH?"]
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "Then what did you _MEAN_ by putting it there?" roared Mr.
  • Downing.
  • "Animal spirits, sir," said Psmith.
  • "WHAT!"
  • "Animal spirits, sir."
  • What Mr. Downing would have replied to this one cannot tell, though
  • one can guess roughly. For, just as he was opening his mouth, Mr.
  • Outwood, catching sight of his Chirgwin-like countenance, intervened.
  • "My dear Downing," he said, "your face. It is positively covered with
  • soot, positively. You must come and wash it. You are quite black.
  • Really, you present a most curious appearance, most. Let me show you
  • the way to my room."
  • In all times of storm and tribulation there comes a breaking-point, a
  • point where the spirit definitely refuses, to battle any longer
  • against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Mr. Downing could
  • not bear up against this crowning blow. He went down beneath it. In
  • the language of the Ring, he took the count. It was the knock-out.
  • "Soot!" he murmured weakly. "Soot!"
  • "Your face is covered, my dear fellow, quite covered."
  • "It certainly has a faintly sooty aspect, sir," said Psmith.
  • His voice roused the sufferer to one last flicker of spirit.
  • "You will hear more of this, Smith," he said. "I say you will hear
  • more of it."
  • Then he allowed Mr. Outwood to lead him out to a place where there
  • were towels, soap, and sponges.
  • * * * * *
  • When they had gone, Psmith went to the window, and hauled in the
  • string. He felt the calm after-glow which comes to the general after a
  • successfully conducted battle. It had been trying, of course, for a
  • man of refinement, and it had cut into his afternoon, but on the whole
  • it had been worth it.
  • The problem now was what to do with the painted boot. It would take a
  • lot of cleaning, he saw, even if he could get hold of the necessary
  • implements for cleaning it. And he rather doubted if he would be able
  • to do so. Edmund, the boot-boy, worked in some mysterious cell, far
  • from the madding crowd, at the back of the house. In the boot-cupboard
  • downstairs there would probably be nothing likely to be of any use.
  • His fears were realised. The boot-cupboard was empty. It seemed to him
  • that, for the time being, the best thing he could do would be to place
  • the boot in safe hiding, until he should have thought out a scheme.
  • Having restored the basket to its proper place, accordingly, he went
  • up to the study again, and placed the red-toed boot in the chimney, at
  • about the same height where Mr. Downing had found the other. Nobody
  • would think of looking there a second time, and it was improbable that
  • Mr. Outwood really would have the chimneys swept, as he had said. The
  • odds were that he had forgotten about it already.
  • Psmith went to the bathroom to wash his hands again, with the feeling
  • that he had done a good day's work.
  • CHAPTER LII
  • ON THE TRAIL AGAIN
  • The most massive minds are apt to forget things at times. The most
  • adroit plotters make their little mistakes. Psmith was no exception to
  • the rule. He made the mistake of not telling Mike of the afternoon's
  • happenings.
  • It was not altogether forgetfulness. Psmith was one of those people
  • who like to carry through their operations entirely by themselves.
  • Where there is only one in a secret the secret is more liable to
  • remain unrevealed. There was nothing, he thought, to be gained from
  • telling Mike. He forgot what the consequences might be if he did not.
  • So Psmith kept his own counsel, with the result that Mike went over to
  • school on the Monday morning in pumps.
  • Edmund, summoned from the hinterland of the house to give his opinion
  • why only one of Mike's boots was to be found, had no views on the
  • subject. He seemed to look on it as one of those things which no
  • fellow can understand.
  • "'Ere's one of 'em, Mr. Jackson," he said, as if he hoped that Mike
  • might be satisfied with a compromise.
  • "One? What's the good of that, Edmund, you chump? I can't go over to
  • school in one boot."
  • Edmund turned this over in his mind, and then said, "No, sir," as much
  • as to say, "I may have lost a boot, but, thank goodness, I can still
  • understand sound reasoning."
  • "Well, what am I to do? Where is the other boot?"
  • "Don't know, Mr. Jackson," replied Edmund to both questions.
  • "Well, I mean--Oh, dash it, there's the bell."
  • And Mike sprinted off in the pumps he stood in.
  • It is only a deviation from those ordinary rules of school life, which
  • one observes naturally and without thinking, that enables one to
  • realise how strong public-school prejudices really are. At a school,
  • for instance, where the regulations say that coats only of black
  • or dark blue are to be worn, a boy who appears one day in even the
  • most respectable and unostentatious brown finds himself looked on
  • with a mixture of awe and repulsion, which would be excessive if he
  • had sand-bagged the headmaster. So in the case of boots. School rules
  • decree that a boy shall go to his form-room in boots, There is no real
  • reason why, if the day is fine, he should not wear shoes, should he
  • prefer them. But, if he does, the thing creates a perfect sensation.
  • Boys say, "Great Scott, what _have_ you got on?" Masters say,
  • "Jones, _what_ are you wearing on your feet?" In the few minutes
  • which elapse between the assembling of the form for call-over and the
  • arrival of the form-master, some wag is sure either to stamp on the
  • shoes, accompanying the act with some satirical remark, or else to
  • pull one of them off, and inaugurate an impromptu game of football
  • with it. There was once a boy who went to school one morning in
  • elastic-sided boots....
  • Mike had always been coldly distant in his relations to the rest of
  • his form, looking on them, with a few exceptions, as worms; and the
  • form, since his innings against Downing's on the Friday, had regarded
  • Mike with respect. So that he escaped the ragging he would have had to
  • undergo at Wrykyn in similar circumstances. It was only Mr. Downing
  • who gave trouble.
  • There is a sort of instinct which enables some masters to tell when a
  • boy in their form is wearing shoes instead of boots, just as people
  • who dislike cats always know when one is in a room with them. They
  • cannot see it, but they feel it in their bones.
  • Mr. Downing was perhaps the most bigoted anti-shoeist in the whole
  • list of English schoolmasters. He waged war remorselessly against
  • shoes. Satire, abuse, lines, detention--every weapon was employed by
  • him in dealing with their wearers. It had been the late Dunster's
  • practice always to go over to school in shoes when, as he usually did,
  • he felt shaky in the morning's lesson. Mr. Downing always detected him
  • in the first five minutes, and that meant a lecture of anything from
  • ten minutes to a quarter of an hour on Untidy Habits and Boys Who
  • Looked like Loafers--which broke the back of the morning's work
  • nicely. On one occasion, when a particularly tricky bit of Livy was on
  • the bill of fare, Dunster had entered the form-room in heel-less
  • Turkish bath-slippers, of a vivid crimson; and the subsequent
  • proceedings, including his journey over to the house to change the
  • heel-less atrocities, had seen him through very nearly to the quarter
  • to eleven interval.
  • Mike, accordingly, had not been in his place for three minutes when
  • Mr. Downing, stiffening like a pointer, called his name.
  • "Yes, sir?" said Mike.
  • "_What_ are you wearing on your feet, Jackson?"
  • "Pumps, sir."
  • "You are wearing pumps? Are you not aware that PUMPS are not the
  • proper things to come to school in? Why are you wearing _PUMPS_?"
  • The form, leaning back against the next row of desks, settled itself
  • comfortably for the address from the throne.
  • "I have lost one of my boots, sir."
  • A kind of gulp escaped from Mr. Downing's lips. He stared at Mike for
  • a moment in silence. Then, turning to Stone, he told him to start
  • translating.
  • Stone, who had been expecting at least ten minutes' respite, was taken
  • unawares. When he found the place in his book and began to construe,
  • he floundered hopelessly. But, to his growing surprise and
  • satisfaction, the form-master appeared to notice nothing wrong. He
  • said "Yes, yes," mechanically, and finally "That will do," whereupon
  • Stone resumed his seat with the feeling that the age of miracles had
  • returned.
  • Mr. Downing's mind was in a whirl. His case was complete. Mike's
  • appearance in shoes, with the explanation that he had lost a boot,
  • completed the chain. As Columbus must have felt when his ship ran into
  • harbour, and the first American interviewer, jumping on board, said,
  • "Wal, sir, and what are your impressions of our glorious country?" so
  • did Mr. Downing feel at that moment.
  • When the bell rang at a quarter to eleven, he gathered up his gown,
  • and sped to the headmaster.
  • CHAPTER LIII
  • THE KETTLE METHOD
  • It was during the interval that day that Stone and Robinson,
  • discussing the subject of cricket over a bun and ginger-beer at the
  • school shop, came to a momentous decision, to wit, that they were fed
  • up with Adair administration and meant to strike. The immediate cause
  • of revolt was early-morning fielding-practice, that searching test of
  • cricket keenness. Mike himself, to whom cricket was the great and
  • serious interest of life, had shirked early-morning fielding-practice
  • in his first term at Wrykyn. And Stone and Robinson had but a luke-warm
  • attachment to the game, compared with Mike's.
  • As a rule, Adair had contented himself with practice in the afternoon
  • after school, which nobody objects to; and no strain, consequently,
  • had been put upon Stone's and Robinson's allegiance. In view of the
  • M.C.C. match on the Wednesday, however, he had now added to this an
  • extra dose to be taken before breakfast. Stone and Robinson had left
  • their comfortable beds that day at six o'clock, yawning and heavy-eyed,
  • and had caught catches and fielded drives which, in the cool morning
  • air, had stung like adders and bitten like serpents. Until the sun has
  • really got to work, it is no joke taking a high catch. Stone's dislike
  • of the experiment was only equalled by Robinson's. They were neither of
  • them of the type which likes to undergo hardships for the common good.
  • They played well enough when on the field, but neither cared greatly
  • whether the school had a good season or not. They played the game
  • entirely for their own sakes.
  • The result was that they went back to the house for breakfast with a
  • never-again feeling, and at the earliest possible moment met to debate
  • as to what was to be done about it. At all costs another experience
  • like to-day's must be avoided.
  • "It's all rot," said Stone. "What on earth's the good of sweating
  • about before breakfast? It only makes you tired."
  • "I shouldn't wonder," said Robinson, "if it wasn't bad for the heart.
  • Rushing about on an empty stomach, I mean, and all that sort of
  • thing."
  • "Personally," said Stone, gnawing his bun, "I don't intend to stick
  • it."
  • "Nor do I."
  • "I mean, it's such absolute rot. If we aren't good enough to play for
  • the team without having to get up overnight to catch catches, he'd
  • better find somebody else."
  • "Yes."
  • At this moment Adair came into the shop.
  • "Fielding-practice again to-morrow," he said briskly, "at six."
  • "Before breakfast?" said Robinson.
  • "Rather. You two must buck up, you know. You were rotten to-day." And
  • he passed on, leaving the two malcontents speechless.
  • Stone was the first to recover.
  • "I'm hanged if I turn out to-morrow," he said, as they left the shop.
  • "He can do what he likes about it. Besides, what can he do, after all?
  • Only kick us out of the team. And I don't mind that."
  • "Nor do I."
  • "I don't think he will kick us out, either. He can't play the M.C.C.
  • with a scratch team. If he does, we'll go and play for that village
  • Jackson plays for. We'll get Jackson to shove us into the team."
  • "All right," said Robinson. "Let's."
  • Their position was a strong one. A cricket captain may seem to be an
  • autocrat of tremendous power, but in reality he has only one weapon,
  • the keenness of those under him. With the majority, of course, the
  • fear of being excluded or ejected from a team is a spur that drives.
  • The majority, consequently, are easily handled. But when a cricket
  • captain runs up against a boy who does not much care whether he plays
  • for the team or not, then he finds himself in a difficult position,
  • and, unless he is a man of action, practically helpless.
  • Stone and Robinson felt secure. Taking it all round, they felt that
  • they would just as soon play for Lower Borlock as for the school. The
  • bowling of the opposition would be weaker in the former case, and the
  • chance of making runs greater. To a certain type of cricketer runs are
  • runs, wherever and however made.
  • The result of all this was that Adair, turning out with the team next
  • morning for fielding-practice, found himself two short. Barnes was
  • among those present, but of the other two representatives of Outwood's
  • house there were no signs.
  • Barnes, questioned on the subject, had no information to give, beyond
  • the fact that he had not seen them about anywhere. Which was not a
  • great help. Adair proceeded with the fielding-practice without further
  • delay.
  • At breakfast that morning he was silent and apparently wrapped in
  • thought. Mr. Downing, who sat at the top of the table with Adair on
  • his right, was accustomed at the morning meal to blend nourishment of
  • the body with that of the mind. As a rule he had ten minutes with the
  • daily paper before the bell rang, and it was his practice to hand on
  • the results of his reading to Adair and the other house-prefects, who,
  • not having seen the paper, usually formed an interested and
  • appreciative audience. To-day, however, though the house-prefects
  • expressed varying degrees of excitement at the news that Tyldesley had
  • made a century against Gloucestershire, and that a butter famine was
  • expected in the United States, these world-shaking news-items seemed
  • to leave Adair cold. He champed his bread and marmalade with an
  • abstracted air.
  • He was wondering what to do in this matter of Stone and Robinson.
  • Many captains might have passed the thing over. To take it for granted
  • that the missing pair had overslept themselves would have been a safe
  • and convenient way out of the difficulty. But Adair was not the sort
  • of person who seeks for safe and convenient ways out of difficulties.
  • He never shirked anything, physical or moral.
  • He resolved to interview the absentees.
  • It was not until after school that an opportunity offered itself. He
  • went across to Outwood's and found the two non-starters in the senior
  • day-room, engaged in the intellectual pursuit of kicking the wall and
  • marking the height of each kick with chalk. Adair's entrance coincided
  • with a record effort by Stone, which caused the kicker to overbalance
  • and stagger backwards against the captain.
  • "Sorry," said Stone. "Hullo, Adair!"
  • "Don't mention it. Why weren't you two at fielding-practice this
  • morning?"
  • Robinson, who left the lead to Stone in all matters, said nothing.
  • Stone spoke.
  • "We didn't turn up," he said.
  • "I know you didn't. Why not?"
  • Stone had rehearsed this scene in his mind, and he spoke with the
  • coolness which comes from rehearsal.
  • "We decided not to."
  • "Oh?"
  • "Yes. We came to the conclusion that we hadn't any use for early-morning
  • fielding."
  • Adair's manner became ominously calm.
  • "You were rather fed-up, I suppose?"
  • "That's just the word."
  • "Sorry it bored you."
  • "It didn't. We didn't give it the chance to."
  • Robinson laughed appreciatively.
  • "What's the joke, Robinson?" asked Adair.
  • "There's no joke," said Robinson, with some haste. "I was only
  • thinking of something."
  • "I'll give you something else to think about soon."
  • Stone intervened.
  • "It's no good making a row about it, Adair. You must see that you
  • can't do anything. Of course, you can kick us out of the team, if you
  • like, but we don't care if you do. Jackson will get us a game any
  • Wednesday or Saturday for the village he plays for. So we're all
  • right. And the school team aren't such a lot of flyers that you can
  • afford to go chucking people out of it whenever you want to. See what
  • I mean?"
  • "You and Jackson seem to have fixed it all up between you."
  • "What are you going to do? Kick us out?"
  • "No."
  • "Good. I thought you'd see it was no good making a beastly row. We'll
  • play for the school all right. There's no earthly need for us to turn
  • out for fielding-practice before breakfast."
  • "You don't think there is? You may be right. All the same, you're
  • going to to-morrow morning."
  • "What!"
  • "Six sharp. Don't be late."
  • "Don't be an ass, Adair. We've told you we aren't going to."
  • "That's only your opinion. I think you are. I'll give you till five
  • past six, as you seem to like lying in bed."
  • "You can turn out if you feel like it. You won't find me there."
  • "That'll be a disappointment. Nor Robinson?"
  • "No," said the junior partner in the firm; but he said it without any
  • deep conviction. The atmosphere was growing a great deal too tense for
  • his comfort.
  • "You've quite made up your minds?"
  • "Yes," said Stone.
  • "Right," said Adair quietly, and knocked him down.
  • He was up again in a moment. Adair had pushed the table back, and was
  • standing in the middle of the open space.
  • "You cad," said Stone. "I wasn't ready."
  • "Well, you are now. Shall we go on?"
  • Stone dashed in without a word, and for a few moments the two might
  • have seemed evenly matched to a not too intelligent spectator. But
  • science tells, even in a confined space. Adair was smaller and lighter
  • than Stone, but he was cooler and quicker, and he knew more about the
  • game. His blow was always home a fraction of a second sooner than his
  • opponent's. At the end of a minute Stone was on the floor again.
  • He got up slowly and stood leaning with one hand on the table.
  • "Suppose we say ten past six?" said Adair. "I'm not particular to a
  • minute or two."
  • Stone made no reply.
  • "Will ten past six suit you for fielding-practice to-morrow?" said
  • Adair.
  • "All right," said Stone.
  • "Thanks. How about you, Robinson?"
  • Robinson had been a petrified spectator of the Captain-Kettle-like
  • manoeuvres of the cricket captain, and it did not take him long to
  • make up his mind. He was not altogether a coward. In different
  • circumstances he might have put up a respectable show. But it takes a
  • more than ordinarily courageous person to embark on a fight which he
  • knows must end in his destruction. Robinson knew that he was nothing
  • like a match even for Stone, and Adair had disposed of Stone in a
  • little over one minute. It seemed to Robinson that neither pleasure
  • nor profit was likely to come from an encounter with Adair.
  • "All right," he said hastily, "I'll turn up."
  • "Good," said Adair. "I wonder if either of you chaps could tell me
  • which is Jackson's study."
  • Stone was dabbing at his mouth with a handkerchief, a task which
  • precluded anything in the shape of conversation; so Robinson replied
  • that Mike's study was the first you came to on the right of the
  • corridor at the top of the stairs.
  • "Thanks," said Adair. "You don't happen to know if he's in, I
  • suppose?"
  • "He went up with Smith a quarter of an hour ago. I don't know if he's
  • still there."
  • "I'll go and see," said Adair. "I should like a word with him if he
  • isn't busy."
  • CHAPTER LIV
  • ADAIR HAS A WORD WITH MIKE
  • Mike, all unconscious of the stirring proceedings which had been going
  • on below stairs, was peacefully reading a letter he had received that
  • morning from Strachan at Wrykyn, in which the successor to the cricket
  • captaincy which should have been Mike's had a good deal to say in a
  • lugubrious strain. In Mike's absence things had been going badly with
  • Wrykyn. A broken arm, contracted in the course of some rash
  • experiments with a day-boy's motor-bicycle, had deprived the team of
  • the services of Dunstable, the only man who had shown any signs of
  • being able to bowl a side out. Since this calamity, wrote Strachan,
  • everything had gone wrong. The M.C.C., led by Mike's brother Reggie,
  • the least of the three first-class-cricketing Jacksons, had smashed
  • them by a hundred and fifty runs. Geddington had wiped them off the
  • face of the earth. The Incogs, with a team recruited exclusively from
  • the rabbit-hutch--not a well-known man on the side except Stacey,
  • a veteran who had been playing for the club since Fuller Pilch's
  • time--had got home by two wickets. In fact, it was Strachan's opinion
  • that the Wrykyn team that summer was about the most hopeless gang of
  • dead-beats that had ever made an exhibition of itself on the school
  • grounds. The Ripton match, fortunately, was off, owing to an outbreak
  • of mumps at that shrine of learning and athletics--the second outbreak
  • of the malady in two terms. Which, said Strachan, was hard lines on
  • Ripton, but a bit of jolly good luck for Wrykyn, as it had saved them
  • from what would probably have been a record hammering, Ripton having
  • eight of their last year's team left, including Dixon, the fast
  • bowler, against whom Mike alone of the Wrykyn team had been able to
  • make runs in the previous season. Altogether, Wrykyn had struck a bad
  • patch.
  • Mike mourned over his suffering school. If only he could have been
  • there to help. It might have made all the difference. In school
  • cricket one good batsman, to go in first and knock the bowlers off
  • their length, may take a weak team triumphantly through a season. In
  • school cricket the importance of a good start for the first wicket is
  • incalculable.
  • As he put Strachan's letter away in his pocket, all his old bitterness
  • against Sedleigh, which had been ebbing during the past few days,
  • returned with a rush. He was conscious once more of that feeling of
  • personal injury which had made him hate his new school on the first
  • day of term.
  • And it was at this point, when his resentment was at its height, that
  • Adair, the concrete representative of everything Sedleighan, entered
  • the room.
  • There are moments in life's placid course when there has got to be the
  • biggest kind of row. This was one of them.
  • * * * * *
  • Psmith, who was leaning against the mantelpiece, reading the serial
  • story in a daily paper which he had abstracted from the senior day-room,
  • made the intruder free of the study with a dignified wave of the hand,
  • and went on reading. Mike remained in the deck-chair in which he was
  • sitting, and contented himself with glaring at the newcomer.
  • Psmith was the first to speak.
  • "If you ask my candid opinion," he said, looking up from his paper, "I
  • should say that young Lord Antony Trefusis was in the soup already. I
  • seem to see the _consommé_ splashing about his ankles. He's had a
  • note telling him to be under the oak-tree in the Park at midnight.
  • He's just off there at the end of this instalment. I bet Long Jack,
  • the poacher, is waiting there with a sandbag. Care to see the paper,
  • Comrade Adair? Or don't you take any interest in contemporary
  • literature?"
  • "Thanks," said Adair. "I just wanted to speak to Jackson for a
  • minute."
  • "Fate," said Psmith, "has led your footsteps to the right place. That
  • is Comrade Jackson, the Pride of the School, sitting before you."
  • "What do you want?" said Mike.
  • He suspected that Adair had come to ask him once again to play for the
  • school. The fact that the M.C.C. match was on the following day made
  • this a probable solution of the reason for his visit. He could think
  • of no other errand that was likely to have set the head of Downing's
  • paying afternoon calls.
  • "I'll tell you in a minute. It won't take long."
  • "That," said Psmith approvingly, "is right. Speed is the key-note of
  • the present age. Promptitude. Despatch. This is no time for loitering.
  • We must be strenuous. We must hustle. We must Do It Now. We----"
  • "Buck up," said Mike.
  • "Certainly," said Adair. "I've just been talking to Stone and
  • Robinson."
  • "An excellent way of passing an idle half-hour," said Psmith.
  • "We weren't exactly idle," said Adair grimly. "It didn't last long,
  • but it was pretty lively while it did. Stone chucked it after the
  • first round."
  • Mike got up out of his chair. He could not quite follow what all this
  • was about, but there was no mistaking the truculence of Adair's
  • manner. For some reason, which might possibly be made clear later,
  • Adair was looking for trouble, and Mike in his present mood felt that
  • it would be a privilege to see that he got it.
  • Psmith was regarding Adair through his eyeglass with pain and
  • surprise.
  • "Surely," he said, "you do not mean us to understand that you have
  • been _brawling_ with Comrade Stone! This is bad hearing. I
  • thought that you and he were like brothers. Such a bad example for
  • Comrade Robinson, too. Leave us, Adair. We would brood. Oh, go thee,
  • knave, I'll none of thee. Shakespeare."
  • Psmith turned away, and resting his elbows on the mantelpiece, gazed
  • at himself mournfully in the looking-glass.
  • "I'm not the man I was," he sighed, after a prolonged inspection.
  • "There are lines on my face, dark circles beneath my eyes. The fierce
  • rush of life at Sedleigh is wasting me away."
  • "Stone and I had a discussion about early-morning fielding-practice,"
  • said Adair, turning to Mike.
  • Mike said nothing.
  • "I thought his fielding wanted working up a bit, so I told him to turn
  • out at six to-morrow morning. He said he wouldn't, so we argued it
  • out. He's going to all right. So is Robinson."
  • Mike remained silent.
  • "So are you," added Adair.
  • "I get thinner and thinner," said Psmith from the mantelpiece.
  • Mike looked at Adair, and Adair looked at Mike, after the manner of
  • two dogs before they fly at one another. There was an electric silence
  • in the study. Psmith peered with increased earnestness into the glass.
  • "Oh?" said Mike at last. "What makes you think that?"
  • "I don't think. I know."
  • "Any special reason for my turning out?"
  • "Yes."
  • "What's that?"
  • "You're going to play for the school against the M.C.C. to-morrow, and
  • I want you to get some practice."
  • "I wonder how you got that idea!"
  • "Curious I should have done, isn't it?"
  • "Very. You aren't building on it much, are you?" said Mike politely.
  • "I am, rather," replied Adair with equal courtesy.
  • "I'm afraid you'll be disappointed."
  • "I don't think so."
  • "My eyes," said Psmith regretfully, "are a bit close together.
  • However," he added philosophically, "it's too late to alter that now."
  • Mike drew a step closer to Adair.
  • "What makes you think I shall play against the M.C.C.?" he asked
  • curiously.
  • "I'm going to make you."
  • Mike took another step forward. Adair moved to meet him.
  • "Would you care to try now?" said Mike.
  • For just one second the two drew themselves together preparatory to
  • beginning the serious business of the interview, and in that second
  • Psmith, turning from the glass, stepped between them.
  • "Get out of the light, Smith," said Mike.
  • Psmith waved him back with a deprecating gesture.
  • "My dear young friends," he said placidly, "if you _will_ let
  • your angry passions rise, against the direct advice of Doctor Watts,
  • I suppose you must, But when you propose to claw each other in my
  • study, in the midst of a hundred fragile and priceless ornaments, I
  • lodge a protest. If you really feel that you want to scrap, for
  • goodness sake do it where there's some room. I don't want all the
  • study furniture smashed. I know a bank whereon the wild thyme grows,
  • only a few yards down the road, where you can scrap all night if you
  • want to. How would it be to move on there? Any objections? None? Then
  • shift ho! and let's get it over."
  • CHAPTER LV
  • CLEARING THE AIR
  • Psmith was one of those people who lend a dignity to everything they
  • touch. Under his auspices the most unpromising ventures became somehow
  • enveloped in an atmosphere of measured stateliness. On the present
  • occasion, what would have been, without his guiding hand, a mere
  • unscientific scramble, took on something of the impressive formality
  • of the National Sporting Club.
  • "The rounds," he said, producing a watch, as they passed through a
  • gate into a field a couple of hundred yards from the house gate, "will
  • be of three minutes' duration, with a minute rest in between. A man
  • who is down will have ten seconds in which to rise. Are you ready,
  • Comrades Adair and Jackson? Very well, then. Time."
  • After which, it was a pity that the actual fight did not quite live up
  • to its referee's introduction. Dramatically, there should have been
  • cautious sparring for openings and a number of tensely contested
  • rounds, as if it had been the final of a boxing competition. But
  • school fights, when they do occur--which is only once in a decade
  • nowadays, unless you count junior school scuffles--are the outcome of
  • weeks of suppressed bad blood, and are consequently brief and furious.
  • In a boxing competition, however much one may want to win, one does
  • not dislike one's opponent. Up to the moment when "time" was called,
  • one was probably warmly attached to him, and at the end of the last
  • round one expects to resume that attitude of mind. In a fight each
  • party, as a rule, hates the other.
  • So it happened that there was nothing formal or cautious about the
  • present battle. All Adair wanted was to get at Mike, and all Mike
  • wanted was to get at Adair. Directly Psmith called "time," they rushed
  • together as if they meant to end the thing in half a minute.
  • It was this that saved Mike. In an ordinary contest with the gloves,
  • with his opponent cool and boxing in his true form, he could not have
  • lasted three rounds against Adair. The latter was a clever boxer,
  • while Mike had never had a lesson in his life. If Adair had kept away
  • and used his head, nothing could have prevented him winning.
  • As it was, however, he threw away his advantages, much as Tom Brown
  • did at the beginning of his fight with Slogger Williams, and the
  • result was the same as on that historic occasion. Mike had the greater
  • strength, and, thirty seconds from the start, knocked his man clean
  • off his feet with an unscientific but powerful right-hander.
  • This finished Adair's chances. He rose full of fight, but with all the
  • science knocked out of him. He went in at Mike with both hands. The
  • Irish blood in him, which for the ordinary events of life made him
  • merely energetic and dashing, now rendered him reckless. He abandoned
  • all attempt at guarding. It was the Frontal Attack in its most futile
  • form, and as unsuccessful as a frontal attack is apt to be. There was
  • a swift exchange of blows, in the course of which Mike's left elbow,
  • coming into contact with his opponent's right fist, got a shock which
  • kept it tingling for the rest of the day; and then Adair went down in
  • a heap.
  • He got up slowly and with difficulty. For a moment he stood blinking
  • vaguely. Then he lurched forward at Mike.
  • In the excitement of a fight--which is, after all, about the most
  • exciting thing that ever happens to one in the course of one's life--it
  • is difficult for the fighters to see what the spectators see. Where
  • the spectators see an assault on an already beaten man, the fighter
  • himself only sees a legitimate piece of self-defence against an
  • opponent whose chances are equal to his own. Psmith saw, as anybody
  • looking on would have seen, that Adair was done. Mike's blow had taken
  • him within a fraction of an inch of the point of the jaw, and he was
  • all but knocked out. Mike could not see this. All he understood was
  • that his man was on his feet again and coming at him, so he hit out
  • with all his strength; and this time Adair went down and stayed down.
  • "Brief," said Psmith, coming forward, "but exciting. We may take that,
  • I think, to be the conclusion of the entertainment. I will now have a
  • dash at picking up the slain. I shouldn't stop, if I were you. He'll
  • be sitting up and taking notice soon, and if he sees you he may want
  • to go on with the combat, which would do him no earthly good. If it's
  • going to be continued in our next, there had better be a bit of an
  • interval for alterations and repairs first."
  • "Is he hurt much, do you think?" asked Mike. He had seen knock-outs
  • before in the ring, but this was the first time he had ever effected
  • one on his own account, and Adair looked unpleasantly corpse-like.
  • "_He's_ all right," said Psmith. "In a minute or two he'll be
  • skipping about like a little lambkin. I'll look after him. You go away
  • and pick flowers."
  • Mike put on his coat and walked back to the house. He was conscious of
  • a perplexing whirl of new and strange emotions, chief among which was
  • a curious feeling that he rather liked Adair. He found himself
  • thinking that Adair was a good chap, that there was something to be
  • said for his point of view, and that it was a pity he had knocked him
  • about so much. At the same time, he felt an undeniable thrill of pride
  • at having beaten him. The feat presented that interesting person, Mike
  • Jackson, to him in a fresh and pleasing light, as one who had had a
  • tough job to face and had carried it through. Jackson, the cricketer,
  • he knew, but Jackson, the deliverer of knock-out blows, was strange to
  • him, and he found this new acquaintance a man to be respected.
  • The fight, in fact, had the result which most fights have, if they are
  • fought fairly and until one side has had enough. It revolutionised
  • Mike's view of things. It shook him up, and drained the bad blood out
  • of him. Where, before, he had seemed to himself to be acting with
  • massive dignity, he now saw that he had simply been sulking like some
  • wretched kid. There had appeared to him something rather fine in his
  • policy of refusing to identify himself in any way with Sedleigh, a
  • touch of the stone-walls-do-not-a-prison-make sort of thing. He now
  • saw that his attitude was to be summed up in the words, "Sha'n't
  • play."
  • It came upon Mike with painful clearness that he had been making an
  • ass of himself.
  • He had come to this conclusion, after much earnest thought, when
  • Psmith entered the study.
  • "How's Adair?" asked Mike.
  • "Sitting up and taking nourishment once more. We have been chatting.
  • He's not a bad cove."
  • "He's all right," said Mike.
  • There was a pause. Psmith straightened his tie.
  • "Look here," he said, "I seldom interfere in terrestrial strife, but
  • it seems to me that there's an opening here for a capable peace-maker,
  • not afraid of work, and willing to give his services in exchange for a
  • comfortable home. Comrade Adair's rather a stoutish fellow in his way.
  • I'm not much on the 'Play up for the old school, Jones,' game, but
  • every one to his taste. I shouldn't have thought anybody would get
  • overwhelmingly attached to this abode of wrath, but Comrade Adair
  • seems to have done it. He's all for giving Sedleigh a much-needed
  • boost-up. It's not a bad idea in its way. I don't see why one
  • shouldn't humour him. Apparently he's been sweating since early
  • childhood to buck the school up. And as he's leaving at the end of the
  • term, it mightn't be a scaly scheme to give him a bit of a send-off,
  • if possible, by making the cricket season a bit of a banger. As a
  • start, why not drop him a line to say that you'll play against the
  • M.C.C. to-morrow?"
  • Mike did not reply at once. He was feeling better disposed towards
  • Adair and Sedleigh than he had felt, but he was not sure that he was
  • quite prepared to go as far as a complete climb-down.
  • "It wouldn't be a bad idea," continued Psmith. "There's nothing like
  • giving a man a bit in every now and then. It broadens the soul and
  • improves the action of the skin. What seems to have fed up Comrade
  • Adair, to a certain extent, is that Stone apparently led him to
  • understand that you had offered to give him and Robinson places in
  • your village team. You didn't, of course?"
  • "Of course not," said Mike indignantly.
  • "I told him he didn't know the old _noblesse oblige_ spirit of
  • the Jacksons. I said that you would scorn to tarnish the Jackson
  • escutcheon by not playing the game. My eloquence convinced him.
  • However, to return to the point under discussion, why not?"
  • "I don't--What I mean to say--" began Mike.
  • "If your trouble is," said Psmith, "that you fear that you may be in
  • unworthy company----"
  • "Don't be an ass."
  • "----Dismiss it. _I_ am playing."
  • Mike stared.
  • "You're what? You?"
  • "I," said Psmith, breathing on a coat-button, and polishing it with
  • his handkerchief.
  • "Can you play cricket?"
  • "You have discovered," said Psmith, "my secret sorrow."
  • "You're rotting."
  • "You wrong me, Comrade Jackson."
  • "Then why haven't you played?"
  • "Why haven't you?"
  • "Why didn't you come and play for Lower Borlock, I mean?"
  • "The last time I played in a village cricket match I was caught at
  • point by a man in braces. It would have been madness to risk another
  • such shock to my system. My nerves are so exquisitely balanced that a
  • thing of that sort takes years off my life."
  • "No, but look here, Smith, bar rotting. Are you really any good at
  • cricket?"
  • "Competent judges at Eton gave me to understand so. I was told that
  • this year I should be a certainty for Lord's. But when the cricket
  • season came, where was I? Gone. Gone like some beautiful flower that
  • withers in the night."
  • "But you told me you didn't like cricket. You said you only liked
  • watching it."
  • "Quite right. I do. But at schools where cricket is compulsory you
  • have to overcome your private prejudices. And in time the thing
  • becomes a habit. Imagine my feelings when I found that I was
  • degenerating, little by little, into a slow left-hand bowler with a
  • swerve. I fought against it, but it was useless, and after a while I
  • gave up the struggle, and drifted with the stream. Last year, in a
  • house match"--Psmith's voice took on a deeper tone of melancholy--"I
  • took seven for thirteen in the second innings on a hard wicket. I did
  • think, when I came here, that I had found a haven of rest, but it was
  • not to be. I turn out to-morrow. What Comrade Outwood will say, when
  • he finds that his keenest archaeological disciple has deserted, I hate
  • to think. However----"
  • Mike felt as if a young and powerful earthquake had passed. The whole
  • face of his world had undergone a quick change. Here was he, the
  • recalcitrant, wavering on the point of playing for the school, and
  • here was Psmith, the last person whom he would have expected to be a
  • player, stating calmly that he had been in the running for a place in
  • the Eton eleven.
  • Then in a flash Mike understood. He was not by nature intuitive, but
  • he read Psmith's mind now. Since the term began, he and Psmith had
  • been acting on precisely similar motives. Just as he had been
  • disappointed of the captaincy of cricket at Wrykyn, so had Psmith been
  • disappointed of his place in the Eton team at Lord's. And they had
  • both worked it off, each in his own way--Mike sullenly, Psmith
  • whimsically, according to their respective natures--on Sedleigh.
  • If Psmith, therefore, did not consider it too much of a climb-down to
  • renounce his resolution not to play for Sedleigh, there was nothing to
  • stop Mike doing so, as--at the bottom of his heart--he wanted to do.
  • "By Jove," he said, "if you're playing, I'll play. I'll write a note
  • to Adair now. But, I say--" he stopped--"I'm hanged if I'm going to
  • turn out and field before breakfast to-morrow."
  • "That's all right. You won't have to. Adair won't be there himself.
  • He's not playing against the M.C.C. He's sprained his wrist."
  • CHAPTER LVI
  • IN WHICH PEACE IS DECLARED
  • "Sprained his wrist?" said Mike. "How did he do that?"
  • "During the brawl. Apparently one of his efforts got home on your
  • elbow instead of your expressive countenance, and whether it was that
  • your elbow was particularly tough or his wrist particularly fragile, I
  • don't know. Anyhow, it went. It's nothing bad, but it'll keep him out
  • of the game to-morrow."
  • "I say, what beastly rough luck! I'd no idea. I'll go round."
  • "Not a bad scheme. Close the door gently after you, and if you see
  • anybody downstairs who looks as if he were likely to be going over to
  • the shop, ask him to get me a small pot of some rare old jam and tell
  • the man to chalk it up to me. The jam Comrade Outwood supplies to us
  • at tea is all right as a practical joke or as a food for those anxious
  • to commit suicide, but useless to anybody who values life."
  • On arriving at Mr. Downing's and going to Adair's study, Mike found
  • that his late antagonist was out. He left a note informing him of his
  • willingness to play in the morrow's match. The lock-up bell rang as he
  • went out of the house.
  • A spot of rain fell on his hand. A moment later there was a continuous
  • patter, as the storm, which had been gathering all day, broke in
  • earnest. Mike turned up his coat-collar, and ran back to Outwood's.
  • "At this rate," he said to himself, "there won't be a match at all
  • to-morrow."
  • * * * * *
  • When the weather decides, after behaving well for some weeks, to show
  • what it can do in another direction, it does the thing thoroughly.
  • When Mike woke the next morning the world was grey and dripping.
  • Leaden-coloured clouds drifted over the sky, till there was not a
  • trace of blue to be seen, and then the rain began again, in the
  • gentle, determined way rain has when it means to make a day of it.
  • It was one of those bad days when one sits in the pavilion, damp and
  • depressed, while figures in mackintoshes, with discoloured buckskin
  • boots, crawl miserably about the field in couples.
  • Mike, shuffling across to school in a Burberry, met Adair at Downing's
  • gate.
  • These moments are always difficult. Mike stopped--he could hardly walk
  • on as if nothing had happened--and looked down at his feet.
  • "Coming across?" he said awkwardly.
  • "Right ho!" said Adair.
  • They walked on in silence.
  • "It's only about ten to, isn't it?" said Mike.
  • Adair fished out his watch, and examined it with an elaborate care
  • born of nervousness.
  • "About nine to."
  • "Good. We've got plenty of time."
  • "Yes."
  • "I hate having to hurry over to school."
  • "So do I."
  • "I often do cut it rather fine, though."
  • "Yes. So do I."
  • "Beastly nuisance when one does."
  • "Beastly."
  • "It's only about a couple of minutes from the houses to the school, I
  • should think, shouldn't you?"
  • "Not much more. Might be three."
  • "Yes. Three if one didn't hurry."
  • "Oh, yes, if one didn't hurry."
  • Another silence.
  • "Beastly day," said Adair.
  • "Rotten."
  • Silence again.
  • "I say," said Mike, scowling at his toes, "awfully sorry about your
  • wrist."
  • "Oh, that's all right. It was my fault."
  • "Does it hurt?"
  • "Oh, no, rather not, thanks."
  • "I'd no idea you'd crocked yourself."
  • "Oh, no, that's all right. It was only right at the end. You'd have
  • smashed me anyhow."
  • "Oh, rot."
  • "I bet you anything you like you would."
  • "I bet you I shouldn't.... Jolly hard luck, just before the match."
  • "Oh, no.... I say, thanks awfully for saying you'd play."
  • "Oh, rot.... Do you think we shall get a game?"
  • Adair inspected the sky carefully.
  • "I don't know. It looks pretty bad, doesn't it?"
  • "Rotten. I say, how long will your wrist keep you out of cricket?"
  • "Be all right in a week. Less, probably."
  • "Good."
  • "Now that you and Smith are going to play, we ought to have a jolly
  • good season."
  • "Rummy, Smith turning out to be a cricketer."
  • "Yes. I should think he'd be a hot bowler, with his height."
  • "He must be jolly good if he was only just out of the Eton team last
  • year."
  • "Yes."
  • "What's the time?" asked Mike.
  • Adair produced his watch once more.
  • "Five to."
  • "We've heaps of time."
  • "Yes, heaps."
  • "Let's stroll on a bit down the road, shall we?"
  • "Right ho!"
  • Mike cleared his throat.
  • "I say."
  • "Hullo?"
  • "I've been talking to Smith. He was telling me that you thought I'd
  • promised to give Stone and Robinson places in the----"
  • "Oh, no, that's all right. It was only for a bit. Smith told me you
  • couldn't have done, and I saw that I was an ass to think you could
  • have. It was Stone seeming so dead certain that he could play for
  • Lower Borlock if I chucked him from the school team that gave me the
  • idea."
  • "He never even asked me to get him a place."
  • "No, I know."
  • "Of course, I wouldn't have done it, even if he had."
  • "Of course not."
  • "I didn't want to play myself, but I wasn't going to do a rotten trick
  • like getting other fellows away from the team."
  • "No, I know."
  • "It was rotten enough, really, not playing myself."
  • "Oh, no. Beastly rough luck having to leave Wrykyn just when you were
  • going to be captain, and come to a small school like this."
  • The excitement of the past few days must have had a stimulating effect
  • on Mike's mind--shaken it up, as it were: for now, for the second time
  • in two days, he displayed quite a creditable amount of intuition. He
  • might have been misled by Adair's apparently deprecatory attitude
  • towards Sedleigh, and blundered into a denunciation of the place.
  • Adair had said "a small school like this" in the sort of voice which
  • might have led his hearer to think that he was expected to say, "Yes,
  • rotten little hole, isn't it?" or words to that effect. Mike,
  • fortunately, perceived that the words were used purely from
  • politeness, on the Chinese principle. When a Chinaman wishes to pay a
  • compliment, he does so by belittling himself and his belongings.
  • He eluded the pitfall.
  • "What rot!" he said. "Sedleigh's one of the most sporting schools I've
  • ever come across. Everybody's as keen as blazes. So they ought to be,
  • after the way you've sweated."
  • Adair shuffled awkwardly.
  • "I've always been fairly keen on the place," he said. "But I don't
  • suppose I've done anything much."
  • "You've loosened one of my front teeth," said Mike, with a grin, "if
  • that's any comfort to you."
  • "I couldn't eat anything except porridge this morning. My jaw still
  • aches."
  • For the first time during the conversation their eyes met, and the
  • humorous side of the thing struck them simultaneously. They began to
  • laugh.
  • "What fools we must have looked!" said Adair.
  • "_You_ were all right. I must have looked rotten. I've never had
  • the gloves on in my life. I'm jolly glad no one saw us except Smith,
  • who doesn't count. Hullo, there's the bell. We'd better be moving on.
  • What about this match? Not much chance of it from the look of the sky
  • at present."
  • "It might clear before eleven. You'd better get changed, anyhow, at
  • the interval, and hang about in case."
  • "All right. It's better than doing Thucydides with Downing. We've got
  • math, till the interval, so I don't see anything of him all day; which
  • won't hurt me."
  • "He isn't a bad sort of chap, when you get to know him," said Adair.
  • "I can't have done, then. I don't know which I'd least soon be,
  • Downing or a black-beetle, except that if one was Downing one could
  • tread on the black-beetle. Dash this rain. I got about half a pint
  • down my neck just then. We sha'n't get a game to-day, of anything like
  • it. As you're crocked, I'm not sure that I care much. You've been
  • sweating for years to get the match on, and it would be rather rot
  • playing it without you."
  • "I don't know that so much. I wish we could play, because I'm certain,
  • with you and Smith, we'd walk into them. They probably aren't sending
  • down much of a team, and really, now that you and Smith are turning
  • out, we've got a jolly hot lot. There's quite decent batting all the
  • way through, and the bowling isn't so bad. If only we could have given
  • this M.C.C. lot a really good hammering, it might have been easier to
  • get some good fixtures for next season. You see, it's all right for a
  • school like Wrykyn, but with a small place like this you simply can't
  • get the best teams to give you a match till you've done something to
  • show that you aren't absolute rotters at the game. As for the schools,
  • they're worse. They'd simply laugh at you. You were cricket secretary
  • at Wrykyn last year. What would you have done if you'd had a challenge
  • from Sedleigh? You'd either have laughed till you were sick, or else
  • had a fit at the mere idea of the thing."
  • Mike stopped.
  • "By jove, you've struck about the brightest scheme on record. I never
  • thought of it before. Let's get a match on with Wrykyn."
  • "What! They wouldn't play us."
  • "Yes, they would. At least, I'm pretty sure they would. I had a letter
  • from Strachan, the captain, yesterday, saying that the Ripton match
  • had had to be scratched owing to illness. So they've got a vacant
  • date. Shall I try them? I'll write to Strachan to-night, if you like.
  • And they aren't strong this year. We'll smash them. What do you say?"
  • Adair was as one who has seen a vision.
  • "By Jove," he said at last, "if we only could!"
  • CHAPTER LVII
  • MR. DOWNING MOVES
  • The rain continued without a break all the morning. The two teams,
  • after hanging about dismally, and whiling the time away with
  • stump-cricket in the changing-rooms, lunched in the pavilion at
  • one o'clock. After which the M.C.C. captain, approaching Adair,
  • moved that this merry meeting be considered off and himself and
  • his men permitted to catch the next train back to town. To which
  • Adair, seeing that it was out of the question that there should be
  • any cricket that afternoon, regretfully agreed, and the first
  • Sedleigh _v_. M.C.C. match was accordingly scratched.
  • Mike and Psmith, wandering back to the house, were met by a damp
  • junior from Downing's, with a message that Mr. Downing wished to see
  • Mike as soon as he was changed.
  • "What's he want me for?" inquired Mike.
  • The messenger did not know. Mr. Downing, it seemed, had not confided
  • in him. All he knew was that the housemaster was in the house, and
  • would be glad if Mike would step across.
  • "A nuisance," said Psmith, "this incessant demand for you. That's the
  • worst of being popular. If he wants you to stop to tea, edge away. A
  • meal on rather a sumptuous scale will be prepared in the study against
  • your return."
  • Mike changed quickly, and went off, leaving Psmith, who was fond of
  • simple pleasures in his spare time, earnestly occupied with a puzzle
  • which had been scattered through the land by a weekly paper. The prize
  • for a solution was one thousand pounds, and Psmith had already
  • informed Mike with some minuteness of his plans for the disposition of
  • this sum. Meanwhile, he worked at it both in and out of school,
  • generally with abusive comments on its inventor.
  • He was still fiddling away at it when Mike returned.
  • Mike, though Psmith was at first too absorbed to notice it, was
  • agitated.
  • "I don't wish to be in any way harsh," said Psmith, without looking
  • up, "but the man who invented this thing was a blighter of the worst
  • type. You come and have a shot. For the moment I am baffled. The
  • whisper flies round the clubs, 'Psmith is baffled.'"
  • "The man's an absolute drivelling ass," said Mike warmly.
  • "Me, do you mean?"
  • "What on earth would be the point of my doing it?"
  • "You'd gather in a thousand of the best. Give you a nice start in
  • life."
  • "I'm not talking about your rotten puzzle."
  • "What are you talking about?"
  • "That ass Downing. I believe he's off his nut."
  • "Then your chat with Comrade Downing was not of the old-College-chums-
  • meeting-unexpectedly-after-years'-separation type? What has he been
  • doing to you?"
  • "He's off his nut."
  • "I know. But what did he do? How did the brainstorm burst? Did he jump
  • at you from behind a door and bite a piece out of your leg, or did he
  • say he was a tea-pot?"
  • Mike sat down.
  • "You remember that painting Sammy business?"
  • "As if it were yesterday," said Psmith. "Which it was, pretty nearly."
  • "He thinks I did it."
  • "Why? Have you ever shown any talent in the painting line?"
  • "The silly ass wanted me to confess that I'd done it. He as good as
  • asked me to. Jawed a lot of rot about my finding it to my advantage
  • later on if I behaved sensibly."
  • "Then what are you worrying about? Don't you know that when a master
  • wants you to do the confessing-act, it simply means that he hasn't
  • enough evidence to start in on you with? You're all right. The thing's
  • a stand-off."
  • "Evidence!" said Mike, "My dear man, he's got enough evidence to sink
  • a ship. He's absolutely sweating evidence at every pore. As far as I
  • can see, he's been crawling about, doing the Sherlock Holmes business
  • for all he's worth ever since the thing happened, and now he's dead
  • certain that I painted Sammy."
  • "_Did_ you, by the way?" asked Psmith.
  • "No," said Mike shortly, "I didn't. But after listening to Downing I
  • almost began to wonder if I hadn't. The man's got stacks of evidence
  • to prove that I did."
  • "Such as what?"
  • "It's mostly about my boots. But, dash it, you know all about that.
  • Why, you were with him when he came and looked for them."
  • "It is true," said Psmith, "that Comrade Downing and I spent a very
  • pleasant half-hour together inspecting boots, but how does he drag you
  • into it?"
  • "He swears one of the boots was splashed with paint."
  • "Yes. He babbled to some extent on that point when I was entertaining
  • him. But what makes him think that the boot, if any, was yours?"
  • "He's certain that somebody in this house got one of his boots
  • splashed, and is hiding it somewhere. And I'm the only chap in the
  • house who hasn't got a pair of boots to show, so he thinks it's me. I
  • don't know where the dickens my other boot has gone. Edmund swears he
  • hasn't seen it, and it's nowhere about. Of course I've got two pairs,
  • but one's being soled. So I had to go over to school yesterday in
  • pumps. That's how he spotted me."
  • Psmith sighed.
  • "Comrade Jackson," he said mournfully, "all this very sad affair shows
  • the folly of acting from the best motives. In my simple zeal, meaning
  • to save you unpleasantness, I have landed you, with a dull, sickening
  • thud, right in the cart. Are you particular about dirtying your hands?
  • If you aren't, just reach up that chimney a bit?"
  • Mike stared, "What the dickens are you talking about?"
  • "Go on. Get it over. Be a man, and reach up the chimney."
  • "I don't know what the game is," said Mike, kneeling beside the fender
  • and groping, "but--_Hullo_!"
  • "Ah ha!" said Psmith moodily.
  • Mike dropped the soot-covered object in the fender, and glared at it.
  • [Illustration: MIKE DROPPED THE SOOT-COVERED OBJECT IN THE FENDER.]
  • "It's my boot!" he said at last.
  • "It _is_," said Psmith, "your boot. And what is that red stain
  • across the toe? Is it blood? No, 'tis not blood. It is red paint."
  • Mike seemed unable to remove his eyes from the boot.
  • "How on earth did--By Jove! I remember now. I kicked up against
  • something in the dark when I was putting my bicycle back that night.
  • It must have been the paint-pot."
  • "Then you were out that night?"
  • "Rather. That's what makes it so jolly awkward. It's too long to tell
  • you now----"
  • "Your stories are never too long for me," said Psmith. "Say on!"
  • "Well, it was like this." And Mike related the events which had led up
  • to his midnight excursion. Psmith listened attentively.
  • "This," he said, when Mike had finished, "confirms my frequently stated
  • opinion that Comrade Jellicoe is one of Nature's blitherers. So that's
  • why he touched us for our hard-earned, was it?"
  • "Yes. Of course there was no need for him to have the money at all."
  • "And the result is that you are in something of a tight place. You're
  • _absolutely_ certain you didn't paint that dog? Didn't do it, by
  • any chance, in a moment of absent-mindedness, and forgot all about it?
  • No? No, I suppose not. I wonder who did!"
  • "It's beastly awkward. You see, Downing chased me that night. That was
  • why I rang the alarm bell. So, you see, he's certain to think that the
  • chap he chased, which was me, and the chap who painted Sammy, are the
  • same. I shall get landed both ways."
  • Psmith pondered.
  • "It _is_ a tightish place," he admitted.
  • "I wonder if we could get this boot clean," said Mike, inspecting it
  • with disfavour.
  • "Not for a pretty considerable time."
  • "I suppose not. I say, I _am_ in the cart. If I can't produce
  • this boot, they're bound to guess why."
  • "What exactly," asked Psmith, "was the position of affairs between you
  • and Comrade Downing when you left him? Had you definitely parted
  • brass-rags? Or did you simply sort of drift apart with mutual
  • courtesies?"
  • "Oh, he said I was ill-advised to continue that attitude, or some rot,
  • and I said I didn't care, I hadn't painted his bally dog, and he said
  • very well, then, he must take steps, and--well, that was about all."
  • "Sufficient, too," said Psmith, "quite sufficient. I take it, then,
  • that he is now on the war-path, collecting a gang, so to speak."
  • "I suppose he's gone to the Old Man about it."
  • "Probably. A very worrying time our headmaster is having, taking it
  • all round, in connection with this painful affair. What do you think
  • his move will be?"
  • "I suppose he'll send for me, and try to get something out of me."
  • "_He'll_ want you to confess, too. Masters are all whales on
  • confession. The worst of it is, you can't prove an alibi, because
  • at about the time the foul act was perpetrated, you were playing
  • Round-and-round-the-mulberry-bush with Comrade Downing. This needs
  • thought. You had better put the case in my hands, and go out and
  • watch the dandelions growing. I will think over the matter."
  • "Well, I hope you'll be able to think of something. I can't."
  • "Possibly. You never know."
  • There was a tap at the door.
  • "See how we have trained them," said Psmith. "They now knock before
  • entering. There was a time when they would have tried to smash in a
  • panel. Come in."
  • A small boy, carrying a straw hat adorned with the school-house
  • ribbon, answered the invitation.
  • "Oh, I say, Jackson," he said, "the headmaster sent me over to tell
  • you he wants to see you."
  • "I told you so," said Mike to Psmith.
  • "Don't go," suggested Psmith. "Tell him to write."
  • Mike got up.
  • "All this is very trying," said Psmith. "I'm seeing nothing of you
  • to-day." He turned to the small boy. "Tell Willie," he added, "that
  • Mr. Jackson will be with him in a moment."
  • The emissary departed.
  • "_You're_ all right," said Psmith encouragingly. "Just you keep
  • on saying you're all right. Stout denial is the thing. Don't go in for
  • any airy explanations. Simply stick to stout denial. You can't beat
  • it."
  • With which expert advice, he allowed Mike to go on his way.
  • He had not been gone two minutes, when Psmith, who had leaned back in
  • his chair, wrapped in thought, heaved himself up again. He stood for a
  • moment straightening his tie at the looking-glass; then he picked up
  • his hat and moved slowly out of the door and down the passage. Thence,
  • at the same dignified rate of progress, out of the house and in at
  • Downing's front gate.
  • The postman was at the door when he got there, apparently absorbed in
  • conversation with the parlour-maid. Psmith stood by politely till the
  • postman, who had just been told it was like his impudence, caught
  • sight of him, and, having handed over the letters in an ultra-formal
  • and professional manner, passed away.
  • "Is Mr. Downing at home?" inquired Psmith.
  • He was, it seemed. Psmith was shown into the dining-room on the left
  • of the hall, and requested to wait. He was examining a portrait of Mr.
  • Downing which hung on the wall, when the housemaster came in.
  • "An excellent likeness, sir," said Psmith, with a gesture of the hand
  • towards the painting.
  • "Well, Smith," said Mr. Downing shortly, "what do you wish to see me
  • about?"
  • "It was in connection with the regrettable painting of your dog, sir."
  • "Ha!" said Mr. Downing.
  • "I did it, sir," said Psmith, stopping and flicking a piece of fluff
  • off his knee.
  • CHAPTER LVIII
  • THE ARTIST CLAIMS HIS WORK
  • The line of action which Psmith had called Stout Denial is an
  • excellent line to adopt, especially if you really are innocent, but it
  • does not lead to anything in the shape of a bright and snappy dialogue
  • between accuser and accused. Both Mike and the headmaster were
  • oppressed by a feeling that the situation was difficult. The
  • atmosphere was heavy, and conversation showed a tendency to flag. The
  • headmaster had opened brightly enough, with a summary of the evidence
  • which Mr. Downing had laid before him, but after that a massive
  • silence had been the order of the day. There is nothing in this world
  • quite so stolid and uncommunicative as a boy who has made up his mind
  • to be stolid and uncommunicative; and the headmaster, as he sat and
  • looked at Mike, who sat and looked past him at the bookshelves, felt
  • awkward. It was a scene which needed either a dramatic interruption or
  • a neat exit speech. As it happened, what it got was the dramatic
  • interruption.
  • The headmaster was just saying, "I do not think you fully realise,
  • Jackson, the extent to which appearances--" --which was practically
  • going back to the beginning and starting again--when there was a knock
  • at the door. A voice without said, "Mr. Downing to see you, sir," and
  • the chief witness for the prosecution burst in.
  • "I would not have interrupted you," said Mr. Downing, "but----"
  • "Not at all, Mr. Downing. Is there anything I can----?"
  • "I have discovered--I have been informed--In short, it was not
  • Jackson, who committed the--who painted my dog."
  • Mike and the headmaster both looked at the speaker. Mike with a
  • feeling of relief--for Stout Denial, unsupported by any weighty
  • evidence, is a wearing game to play--the headmaster with astonishment.
  • "Not Jackson?" said the headmaster.
  • "No. It was a boy in the same house. Smith."
  • Psmith! Mike was more than surprised. He could not believe it. There
  • is nothing which affords so clear an index to a boy's character as the
  • type of rag which he considers humorous. Between what is a rag and
  • what is merely a rotten trick there is a very definite line drawn.
  • Masters, as a rule, do not realise this, but boys nearly always do.
  • Mike could not imagine Psmith doing a rotten thing like covering a
  • housemaster's dog with red paint, any more than he could imagine doing
  • it himself. They had both been amused at the sight of Sammy after the
  • operation, but anybody, except possibly the owner of the dog, would
  • have thought it funny at first. After the first surprise, their
  • feeling had been that it was a scuggish thing to have done and beastly
  • rough luck on the poor brute. It was a kid's trick. As for Psmith
  • having done it, Mike simply did not believe it.
  • "Smith!" said the headmaster. "What makes you think that?"
  • "Simply this," said Mr. Downing, with calm triumph, "that the boy
  • himself came to me a few moments ago and confessed."
  • Mike was conscious of a feeling of acute depression. It did not make
  • him in the least degree jubilant, or even thankful, to know that he
  • himself was cleared of the charge. All he could think of was that
  • Psmith was done for. This was bound to mean the sack. If Psmith had
  • painted Sammy, it meant that Psmith had broken out of his house at
  • night: and it was not likely that the rules about nocturnal wandering
  • were less strict at Sedleigh than at any other school in the kingdom.
  • Mike felt, if possible, worse than he had felt when Wyatt had been
  • caught on a similar occasion. It seemed as if Fate had a special
  • grudge against his best friends. He did not make friends very quickly
  • or easily, though he had always had scores of acquaintances--and with
  • Wyatt and Psmith he had found himself at home from the first moment he
  • had met them.
  • He sat there, with a curious feeling of having swallowed a heavy
  • weight, hardly listening to what Mr. Downing was saying. Mr. Downing
  • was talking rapidly to the headmaster, who was nodding from time to
  • time.
  • Mike took advantage of a pause to get up. "May I go, sir?" he said.
  • "Certainly, Jackson, certainly," said the Head. "Oh, and er--, if you
  • are going back to your house, tell Smith that I should like to see
  • him."
  • "Yes, sir."
  • He had reached the door, when again there was a knock.
  • "Come in," said the headmaster.
  • It was Adair.
  • "Yes, Adair?"
  • Adair was breathing rather heavily, as if he had been running.
  • "It was about Sammy--Sampson, sir," he said, looking at Mr. Downing.
  • "Ah, we know--. Well, Adair, what did you wish to say."
  • "It wasn't Jackson who did it, sir."
  • "No, no, Adair. So Mr. Downing----"
  • "It was Dunster, sir."
  • Terrific sensation! The headmaster gave a sort of strangled yelp of
  • astonishment. Mr. Downing leaped in his chair. Mike's eyes opened to
  • their fullest extent.
  • "Adair!"
  • There was almost a wail in the headmaster's voice. The situation had
  • suddenly become too much for him. His brain was swimming. That Mike,
  • despite the evidence against him, should be innocent, was curious,
  • perhaps, but not particularly startling. But that Adair should inform
  • him, two minutes after Mr. Downing's announcement of Psmith's
  • confession, that Psmith, too, was guiltless, and that the real
  • criminal was Dunster--it was this that made him feel that somebody, in
  • the words of an American author, had played a mean trick on him, and
  • substituted for his brain a side-order of cauliflower. Why Dunster, of
  • all people? Dunster, who, he remembered dizzily, had left the school
  • at Christmas. And why, if Dunster had really painted the dog, had
  • Psmith asserted that he himself was the culprit? Why--why anything? He
  • concentrated his mind on Adair as the only person who could save him
  • from impending brain-fever.
  • "Adair!"
  • "Yes, sir?"
  • "What--_what_ do you mean?"
  • "It _was_ Dunster, sir. I got a letter from him only five minutes
  • ago, in which he said that he had painted Sammy--Sampson, the dog,
  • sir, for a rag--for a joke, and that, as he didn't want any one here
  • to get into a row--be punished for it, I'd better tell Mr. Downing at
  • once. I tried to find Mr. Downing, but he wasn't in the house. Then I
  • met Smith outside the house, and he told me that Mr. Downing had gone
  • over to see you, sir."
  • "Smith told you?" said Mr. Downing.
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "Did you say anything to him about your having received this letter
  • from Dunster?"
  • "I gave him the letter to read, sir."
  • "And what was his attitude when he had read it?"
  • "He laughed, sir."
  • "_Laughed!_" Mr. Downing's voice was thunderous.
  • "Yes, sir. He rolled about."
  • Mr. Downing snorted.
  • "But Adair," said the headmaster, "I do not understand how this thing
  • could have been done by Dunster. He has left the school."
  • "He was down here for the Old Sedleighans' match, sir. He stopped the
  • night in the village."
  • "And that was the night the--it happened?"
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "I see. Well, I am glad to find that the blame cannot be attached to
  • any boy in the school. I am sorry that it is even an Old Boy. It was a
  • foolish, discreditable thing to have done, but it is not as bad as if
  • any boy still at the school had broken out of his house at night to do
  • it."
  • "The sergeant," said Mr. Downing, "told me that the boy he saw was
  • attempting to enter Mr. Outwood's house."
  • "Another freak of Dunster's, I suppose," said the headmaster. "I shall
  • write to him."
  • "If it was really Dunster who painted my dog," said Mr. Downing, "I
  • cannot understand the part played by Smith in this affair. If he did
  • not do it, what possible motive could he have had for coming to me of
  • his own accord and deliberately confessing?"
  • "To be sure," said the headmaster, pressing a bell. "It is certainly a
  • thing that calls for explanation. Barlow," he said, as the butler
  • appeared, "kindly go across to Mr. Outwood's house and inform Smith
  • that I should like to see him."
  • "If you please, sir, Mr. Smith is waiting in the hall."
  • "In the hall!"
  • "Yes, sir. He arrived soon after Mr. Adair, sir, saying that he would
  • wait, as you would probably wish to see him shortly."
  • "H'm. Ask him to step up, Barlow."
  • "Yes, sir."
  • There followed one of the tensest "stage waits" of Mike's experience.
  • It was not long, but, while it lasted, the silence was quite solid.
  • Nobody seemed to have anything to say, and there was not even a clock
  • in the room to break the stillness with its ticking. A very faint
  • drip-drip of rain could be heard outside the window.
  • Presently there was a sound of footsteps on the stairs. The door was
  • opened.
  • "Mr. Smith, sir."
  • The old Etonian entered as would the guest of the evening who is a few
  • moments late for dinner. He was cheerful, but slightly deprecating. He
  • gave the impression of one who, though sure of his welcome, feels that
  • some slight apology is expected from him. He advanced into the room
  • with a gentle half-smile which suggested good-will to all men.
  • "It is still raining," he observed. "You wished to see me, sir?"
  • "Sit down, Smith."
  • "Thank you, sir."
  • He dropped into a deep arm-chair (which both Adair and Mike had
  • avoided in favour of less luxurious seats) with the confidential
  • cosiness of a fashionable physician calling on a patient, between whom
  • and himself time has broken down the barriers of restraint and
  • formality.
  • Mr. Downing burst out, like a reservoir that has broken its banks.
  • "Smith."
  • Psmith turned his gaze politely in the housemaster's direction.
  • "Smith, you came to me a quarter of an hour ago and told me that it
  • was you who had painted my dog Sampson."
  • "Yes, sir."
  • "It was absolutely untrue?"
  • "I am afraid so, sir."
  • "But, Smith--" began the headmaster.
  • Psmith bent forward encouragingly.
  • "----This is a most extraordinary affair. Have you no explanation to
  • offer? What induced you to do such a thing?"
  • Psmith sighed softly.
  • "The craze for notoriety, sir," he replied sadly. "The curse of the
  • present age."
  • "What!" cried the headmaster.
  • "It is remarkable," proceeded Psmith placidly, with the impersonal
  • touch of one lecturing on generalities, "how frequently, when a murder
  • has been committed, one finds men confessing that they have done it
  • when it is out of the question that they should have committed it. It
  • is one of the most interesting problems with which anthropologists are
  • confronted. Human nature----"
  • The headmaster interrupted.
  • "Smith," he said, "I should like to see you alone for a moment. Mr.
  • Downing might I trouble--? Adair, Jackson."
  • He made a motion towards the door.
  • When he and Psmith were alone, there was silence. Psmith leaned back
  • comfortably in his chair. The headmaster tapped nervously with his
  • foot on the floor.
  • "Er--Smith."
  • "Sir?"
  • The headmaster seemed to have some difficulty in proceeding. He paused
  • again. Then he went on.
  • "Er--Smith, I do not for a moment wish to pain you, but have
  • you--er, do you remember ever having had, as a child, let us say,
  • any--er--severe illness? Any--er--_mental_ illness?"
  • "No, sir."
  • "There is no--forgive me if I am touching on a sad subject--there
  • is no--none of your near relatives have ever suffered in the way
  • I--er--have described?"
  • "There isn't a lunatic on the list, sir," said Psmith cheerfully.
  • "Of course, Smith, of course," said the headmaster hurriedly, "I did
  • not mean to suggest--quite so, quite so.... You think, then, that you
  • confessed to an act which you had not committed purely from some
  • sudden impulse which you cannot explain?"
  • "Strictly between ourselves, sir----"
  • Privately, the headmaster found Psmith's man-to-man attitude somewhat
  • disconcerting, but he said nothing.
  • "Well, Smith?"
  • "I should not like it to go any further, sir."
  • "I will certainly respect any confidence----"
  • "I don't want anybody to know, sir. This is strictly between
  • ourselves."
  • "I think you are sometimes apt to forget, Smith, the proper relations
  • existing between boy and--Well, never mind that for the present. We
  • can return to it later. For the moment, let me hear what you wish to
  • say. I shall, of course, tell nobody, if you do not wish it."
  • "Well, it was like this, sir," said Psmith. "Jackson happened to tell
  • me that you and Mr. Downing seemed to think he had painted Mr.
  • Downing's dog, and there seemed some danger of his being expelled, so
  • I thought it wouldn't be an unsound scheme if I were to go and say I
  • had done it. That was the whole thing. Of course, Dunster writing
  • created a certain amount of confusion."
  • There was a pause.
  • "It was a very wrong thing to do, Smith," said the headmaster, at
  • last, "but.... You are a curious boy, Smith. Good-night."
  • He held out his hand.
  • "Good-night, sir," said Psmith.
  • "Not a bad old sort," said Psmith meditatively to himself, as he
  • walked downstairs. "By no means a bad old sort. I must drop in from
  • time to time and cultivate him."
  • * * * * *
  • Mike and Adair were waiting for him outside the front door.
  • "Well?" said Mike.
  • "You _are_ the limit," said Adair. "What's he done?"
  • "Nothing. We had a very pleasant chat, and then I tore myself away."
  • "Do you mean to say he's not going to do a thing?"
  • "Not a thing."
  • "Well, you're a marvel," said Adair.
  • Psmith thanked him courteously. They walked on towards the houses.
  • "By the way, Adair," said Mike, as the latter started to turn in at
  • Downing's, "I'll write to Strachan to-night about that match."
  • "What's that?" asked Psmith.
  • "Jackson's going to try and get Wrykyn to give us a game," said
  • Adair. "They've got a vacant date. I hope the dickens they'll do it."
  • "Oh, I should think they're certain to," said Mike. "Good-night."
  • "And give Comrade Downing, when you see him," said Psmith, "my very
  • best love. It is men like him who make this Merrie England of ours
  • what it is."
  • * * * * *
  • "I say, Psmith," said Mike suddenly, "what really made you tell
  • Downing you'd done it?"
  • "The craving for----"
  • "Oh, chuck it. You aren't talking to the Old Man now. I believe it was
  • simply to get me out of a jolly tight corner."
  • Psmith's expression was one of pain.
  • "My dear Comrade Jackson," said he, "you wrong me. You make me writhe.
  • I'm surprised at you. I never thought to hear those words from Michael
  • Jackson."
  • "Well, I believe you did, all the same," said Mike obstinately. "And
  • it was jolly good of you, too."
  • Psmith moaned.
  • CHAPTER LIX
  • SEDLEIGH _v_. WRYKYN
  • The Wrykyn match was three-parts over, and things were going badly for
  • Sedleigh. In a way one might have said that the game was over, and
  • that Sedleigh had lost; for it was a one day match, and Wrykyn, who
  • had led on the first innings, had only to play out time to make the
  • game theirs.
  • Sedleigh were paying the penalty for allowing themselves to be
  • influenced by nerves in the early part of the day. Nerves lose more
  • school matches than good play ever won. There is a certain type of
  • school batsman who is a gift to any bowler when he once lets his
  • imagination run away with him. Sedleigh, with the exception of Adair,
  • Psmith, and Mike, had entered upon this match in a state of the most
  • azure funk. Ever since Mike had received Strachan's answer and Adair
  • had announced on the notice-board that on Saturday, July the
  • twentieth, Sedleigh would play Wrykyn, the team had been all on the
  • jump. It was useless for Adair to tell them, as he did repeatedly, on
  • Mike's authority, that Wrykyn were weak this season, and that on their
  • present form Sedleigh ought to win easily. The team listened, but were
  • not comforted. Wrykyn might be below their usual strength, but then
  • Wrykyn cricket, as a rule, reached such a high standard that this
  • probably meant little. However weak Wrykyn might be--for them--there
  • was a very firm impression among the members of the Sedleigh first
  • eleven that the other school was quite strong enough to knock the
  • cover off _them_. Experience counts enormously in school matches.
  • Sedleigh had never been proved. The teams they played were the sort of
  • sides which the Wrykyn second eleven would play. Whereas Wrykyn, from
  • time immemorial, had been beating Ripton teams and Free Foresters
  • teams and M.C.C. teams packed with county men and sending men to
  • Oxford and Cambridge who got their blues as freshmen.
  • Sedleigh had gone on to the field that morning a depressed side.
  • It was unfortunate that Adair had won the toss. He had had no choice
  • but to take first innings. The weather had been bad for the last week,
  • and the wicket was slow and treacherous. It was likely to get worse
  • during the day, so Adair had chosen to bat first.
  • Taking into consideration the state of nerves the team was in, this in
  • itself was a calamity. A school eleven are always at their worst and
  • nerviest before lunch. Even on their own ground they find the
  • surroundings lonely and unfamiliar. The subtlety of the bowlers
  • becomes magnified. Unless the first pair make a really good start, a
  • collapse almost invariably ensues.
  • To-day the start had been gruesome beyond words. Mike, the bulwark of
  • the side, the man who had been brought up on Wrykyn bowling, and from
  • whom, whatever might happen to the others, at least a fifty was
  • expected--Mike, going in first with Barnes and taking first over, had
  • played inside one from Bruce, the Wrykyn slow bowler, and had been
  • caught at short slip off his second ball.
  • That put the finishing-touch on the panic. Stone, Robinson, and the
  • others, all quite decent punishing batsmen when their nerves allowed
  • them to play their own game, crawled to the wickets, declined to hit
  • out at anything, and were clean bowled, several of them, playing back
  • to half-volleys. Adair did not suffer from panic, but his batting was
  • not equal to his bowling, and he had fallen after hitting one four.
  • Seven wickets were down for thirty when Psmith went in.
  • Psmith had always disclaimed any pretensions to batting skill, but he
  • was undoubtedly the right man for a crisis like this. He had an
  • enormous reach, and he used it. Three consecutive balls from Bruce he
  • turned into full-tosses and swept to the leg-boundary, and, assisted
  • by Barnes, who had been sitting on the splice in his usual manner, he
  • raised the total to seventy-one before being yorked, with his score at
  • thirty-five. Ten minutes later the innings was over, with Barnes not
  • out sixteen, for seventy-nine.
  • Wrykyn had then gone in, lost Strachan for twenty before lunch, and
  • finally completed their innings at a quarter to four for a hundred and
  • thirty-one.
  • This was better than Sedleigh had expected. At least eight of the team
  • had looked forward dismally to an afternoon's leather-hunting. But
  • Adair and Psmith, helped by the wicket, had never been easy,
  • especially Psmith, who had taken six wickets, his slows playing havoc
  • with the tail.
  • It would be too much to say that Sedleigh had any hope of pulling the
  • game out of the fire; but it was a comfort, they felt, at any rate,
  • having another knock. As is usual at this stage of a match, their
  • nervousness had vanished, and they felt capable of better things than
  • in the first innings.
  • It was on Mike's suggestion that Psmith and himself went in first.
  • Mike knew the limitations of the Wrykyn bowling, and he was convinced
  • that, if they could knock Bruce off, it might be possible to rattle up
  • a score sufficient to give them the game, always provided that Wrykyn
  • collapsed in the second innings. And it seemed to Mike that the wicket
  • would be so bad then that they easily might.
  • So he and Psmith had gone in at four o'clock to hit. And they had hit.
  • The deficit had been wiped off, all but a dozen runs, when Psmith was
  • bowled, and by that time Mike was set and in his best vein. He treated
  • all the bowlers alike. And when Stone came in, restored to his proper
  • frame of mind, and lashed out stoutly, and after him Robinson and the
  • rest, it looked as if Sedleigh had a chance again. The score was a
  • hundred and twenty when Mike, who had just reached his fifty, skied
  • one to Strachan at cover. The time was twenty-five past five.
  • As Mike reached the pavilion, Adair declared the innings closed.
  • Wrykyn started batting at twenty-five minutes to six, with sixty-nine
  • to make if they wished to make them, and an hour and ten minutes
  • during which to keep up their wickets if they preferred to take things
  • easy and go for a win on the first innings.
  • At first it looked as if they meant to knock off the runs, for
  • Strachan forced the game from the first ball, which was Psmith's, and
  • which he hit into the pavilion. But, at fifteen, Adair bowled him. And
  • when, two runs later, Psmith got the next man stumped, and finished up
  • his over with a c-and-b, Wrykyn decided that it was not good enough.
  • Seventeen for three, with an hour all but five minutes to go, was
  • getting too dangerous. So Drummond and Rigby, the next pair, proceeded
  • to play with caution, and the collapse ceased.
  • This was the state of the game at the point at which this chapter
  • opened. Seventeen for three had become twenty-four for three, and the
  • hands of the clock stood at ten minutes past six. Changes of bowling
  • had been tried, but there seemed no chance of getting past the
  • batsmen's defence. They were playing all the good balls, and refused
  • to hit at the bad.
  • A quarter past six struck, and then Psmith made a suggestion which
  • altered the game completely.
  • "Why don't you have a shot this end?" he said to Adair, as they were
  • crossing over. "There's a spot on the off which might help you a lot.
  • You can break like blazes if only you land on it. It doesn't help my
  • leg-breaks a bit, because they won't hit at them."
  • Barnes was on the point of beginning to bowl, when Adair took the ball
  • from him. The captain of Outwood's retired to short leg with an air
  • that suggested that he was glad to be relieved of his prominent post.
  • The next moment Drummond's off-stump was lying at an angle of
  • forty-five. Adair was absolutely accurate as a bowler, and he had
  • dropped his first ball right on the worn patch.
  • Two minutes later Drummond's successor was retiring to the pavilion,
  • while the wicket-keeper straightened the stumps again.
  • There is nothing like a couple of unexpected wickets for altering the
  • atmosphere of a game. Five minutes before, Sedleigh had been lethargic
  • and without hope. Now there was a stir and buzz all round the ground.
  • There were twenty-five minutes to go, and five wickets were down.
  • Sedleigh was on top again.
  • The next man seemed to take an age coming out. As a matter of fact, he
  • walked more rapidly than a batsman usually walks to the crease.
  • Adair's third ball dropped just short of the spot. The batsman,
  • hitting out, was a shade too soon. The ball hummed through the air a
  • couple of feet from the ground in the direction of mid-off, and Mike,
  • diving to the right, got to it as he was falling, and chucked it up.
  • After that the thing was a walk-over. Psmith clean bowled a man in his
  • next over; and the tail, demoralised by the sudden change in the game,
  • collapsed uncompromisingly. Sedleigh won by thirty-five runs with
  • eight minutes in hand.
  • * * * * *
  • Psmith and Mike sat in their study after lock-up, discussing things in
  • general and the game in particular.
  • "I feel like a beastly renegade, playing against Wrykyn," said Mike.
  • "Still, I'm glad we won. Adair's a jolly good sort, and it'll make him
  • happy for weeks."
  • "When I last saw Comrade Adair," said Psmith, "he was going about in a
  • sort of trance, beaming vaguely and wanting to stand people things at
  • the shop."
  • "He bowled awfully well."
  • "Yes," said Psmith. "I say, I don't wish to cast a gloom over this
  • joyful occasion in any way, but you say Wrykyn are going to give
  • Sedleigh a fixture again next year?"
  • "Well?"
  • "Well, have you thought of the massacre which will ensue? You will
  • have left, Adair will have left. Incidentally, I shall have left.
  • Wrykyn will swamp them."
  • "I suppose they will. Still, the great thing, you see, is to get the
  • thing started. That's what Adair was so keen on. Now Sedleigh has
  • beaten Wrykyn, he's satisfied. They can get on fixtures with decent
  • clubs, and work up to playing the big schools. You've got to start
  • somehow. So it's all right, you see."
  • "And, besides," said Psmith, reflectively, "in an emergency they can
  • always get Comrade Downing to bowl for them, what? Let us now sally
  • out and see if we can't promote a rag of some sort in this abode of
  • wrath. Comrade Outwood has gone over to dinner at the School House,
  • and it would be a pity to waste a somewhat golden opportunity. Shall
  • we stagger?"
  • They staggered.
  • End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Mike, by P. G. Wodehouse
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