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  • The Project Gutenberg EBook of Vanity Fair, by William Makepeace Thackeray
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  • Title: Vanity Fair
  • Author: William Makepeace Thackeray
  • Posting Date: August 30, 2008 [EBook #599]
  • Release Date: July, 1996
  • [Last updated: September 10, 2015]
  • Language: English
  • *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VANITY FAIR ***
  • Produced by Juli Rew.
  • Vanity Fair
  • by
  • William Makepeace Thackeray
  • BEFORE THE CURTAIN
  • As the manager of the Performance sits before the curtain on the boards
  • and looks into the Fair, a feeling of profound melancholy comes over
  • him in his survey of the bustling place. There is a great quantity of
  • eating and drinking, making love and jilting, laughing and the
  • contrary, smoking, cheating, fighting, dancing and fiddling; there are
  • bullies pushing about, bucks ogling the women, knaves picking pockets,
  • policemen on the look-out, quacks (OTHER quacks, plague take them!)
  • bawling in front of their booths, and yokels looking up at the
  • tinselled dancers and poor old rouged tumblers, while the
  • light-fingered folk are operating upon their pockets behind. Yes, this
  • is VANITY FAIR; not a moral place certainly; nor a merry one, though
  • very noisy. Look at the faces of the actors and buffoons when they
  • come off from their business; and Tom Fool washing the paint off his
  • cheeks before he sits down to dinner with his wife and the little Jack
  • Puddings behind the canvas. The curtain will be up presently, and he
  • will be turning over head and heels, and crying, "How are you?"
  • A man with a reflective turn of mind, walking through an exhibition of
  • this sort, will not be oppressed, I take it, by his own or other
  • people's hilarity. An episode of humour or kindness touches and
  • amuses him here and there--a pretty child looking at a gingerbread
  • stall; a pretty girl blushing whilst her lover talks to her and chooses
  • her fairing; poor Tom Fool, yonder behind the waggon, mumbling his bone
  • with the honest family which lives by his tumbling; but the general
  • impression is one more melancholy than mirthful. When you come home
  • you sit down in a sober, contemplative, not uncharitable frame of mind,
  • and apply yourself to your books or your business.
  • I have no other moral than this to tag to the present story of "Vanity
  • Fair." Some people consider Fairs immoral altogether, and eschew such,
  • with their servants and families: very likely they are right. But
  • persons who think otherwise, and are of a lazy, or a benevolent, or a
  • sarcastic mood, may perhaps like to step in for half an hour, and look
  • at the performances. There are scenes of all sorts; some dreadful
  • combats, some grand and lofty horse-riding, some scenes of high life,
  • and some of very middling indeed; some love-making for the sentimental,
  • and some light comic business; the whole accompanied by appropriate
  • scenery and brilliantly illuminated with the Author's own candles.
  • What more has the Manager of the Performance to say?--To acknowledge
  • the kindness with which it has been received in all the principal towns
  • of England through which the Show has passed, and where it has been
  • most favourably noticed by the respected conductors of the public
  • Press, and by the Nobility and Gentry. He is proud to think that his
  • Puppets have given satisfaction to the very best company in this
  • empire. The famous little Becky Puppet has been pronounced to be
  • uncommonly flexible in the joints, and lively on the wire; the Amelia
  • Doll, though it has had a smaller circle of admirers, has yet been
  • carved and dressed with the greatest care by the artist; the Dobbin
  • Figure, though apparently clumsy, yet dances in a very amusing and
  • natural manner; the Little Boys' Dance has been liked by some; and
  • please to remark the richly dressed figure of the Wicked Nobleman, on
  • which no expense has been spared, and which Old Nick will fetch away at
  • the end of this singular performance.
  • And with this, and a profound bow to his patrons, the Manager retires,
  • and the curtain rises.
  • LONDON, June 28, 1848
  • CONTENTS
  • I Chiswick Mall
  • II In Which Miss Sharp and Miss Sedley Prepare to Open the
  • Campaign
  • III Rebecca Is in Presence of the Enemy
  • IV The Green Silk Purse
  • V Dobbin of Ours
  • VI Vauxhall
  • VII Crawley of Queen's Crawley
  • VIII Private and Confidential
  • IX Family Portraits
  • X Miss Sharp Begins to Make Friends
  • XI Arcadian Simplicity
  • XII Quite a Sentimental Chapter
  • XIII Sentimental and Otherwise
  • XIV Miss Crawley at Home
  • XV In Which Rebecca's Husband Appears for a Short Time
  • XVI The Letter on the Pincushion
  • XVII How Captain Dobbin Bought a Piano
  • XVIII Who Played on the Piano Captain Dobbin Bought
  • XIX Miss Crawley at Nurse
  • XX In Which Captain Dobbin Acts as the Messenger of Hymen
  • XXI A Quarrel About an Heiress
  • XXII A Marriage and Part of a Honeymoon
  • XXIII Captain Dobbin Proceeds on His Canvass
  • XXIV In Which Mr. Osborne Takes Down the Family Bible
  • XXV In Which All the Principal Personages Think Fit to Leave
  • Brighton
  • XXVI Between London and Chatham
  • XXVII In Which Amelia Joins Her Regiment
  • XXVIII In Which Amelia Invades the Low Countries
  • XXIX Brussels
  • XXX "The Girl I Left Behind Me"
  • XXXI In Which Jos Sedley Takes Care of His Sister
  • XXXII In Which Jos Takes Flight, and the War Is Brought to a Close
  • XXXIII In Which Miss Crawley's Relations Are Very Anxious About Her
  • XXXIV James Crawley's Pipe Is Put Out
  • XXXV Widow and Mother
  • XXXVI How to Live Well on Nothing a Year
  • XXXVII The Subject Continued
  • XXXVIII A Family in a Very Small Way
  • XXXIX A Cynical Chapter
  • XL In Which Becky Is Recognized by the Family
  • XLI In Which Becky Revisits the Halls of Her Ancestors
  • XLII Which Treats of the Osborne Family
  • XLIII In Which the Reader Has to Double the Cape
  • XLIV A Round-about Chapter between London and Hampshire
  • XLV Between Hampshire and London
  • XLVI Struggles and Trials
  • XLVII Gaunt House
  • XLVIII In Which the Reader Is Introduced to the Very Best of Company
  • XLIX In Which We Enjoy Three Courses and a Dessert
  • L Contains a Vulgar Incident
  • LI In Which a Charade Is Acted Which May or May Not Puzzle the
  • Reader
  • LII In Which Lord Steyne Shows Himself in a Most Amiable Light
  • LIII A Rescue and a Catastrophe
  • LIV Sunday After the Battle
  • LV In Which the Same Subject is Pursued
  • LVI Georgy is Made a Gentleman
  • LVII Eothen
  • LVIII Our Friend the Major
  • LIX The Old Piano
  • LX Returns to the Genteel World
  • LXI In Which Two Lights are Put Out
  • LXII Am Rhein
  • LXIII In Which We Meet an Old Acquaintance
  • LXIV A Vagabond Chapter
  • LXV Full of Business and Pleasure
  • LXVI Amantium Irae
  • LXVII Which Contains Births, Marriages, and Deaths
  • CHAPTER I
  • Chiswick Mall
  • While the present century was in its teens, and on one sunshiny morning
  • in June, there drove up to the great iron gate of Miss Pinkerton's
  • academy for young ladies, on Chiswick Mall, a large family coach, with
  • two fat horses in blazing harness, driven by a fat coachman in a
  • three-cornered hat and wig, at the rate of four miles an hour. A black
  • servant, who reposed on the box beside the fat coachman, uncurled his
  • bandy legs as soon as the equipage drew up opposite Miss Pinkerton's
  • shining brass plate, and as he pulled the bell at least a score of
  • young heads were seen peering out of the narrow windows of the stately
  • old brick house. Nay, the acute observer might have recognized the
  • little red nose of good-natured Miss Jemima Pinkerton herself, rising
  • over some geranium pots in the window of that lady's own drawing-room.
  • "It is Mrs. Sedley's coach, sister," said Miss Jemima. "Sambo, the
  • black servant, has just rung the bell; and the coachman has a new red
  • waistcoat."
  • "Have you completed all the necessary preparations incident to Miss
  • Sedley's departure, Miss Jemima?" asked Miss Pinkerton herself, that
  • majestic lady; the Semiramis of Hammersmith, the friend of Doctor
  • Johnson, the correspondent of Mrs. Chapone herself.
  • "The girls were up at four this morning, packing her trunks, sister,"
  • replied Miss Jemima; "we have made her a bow-pot."
  • "Say a bouquet, sister Jemima, 'tis more genteel."
  • "Well, a booky as big almost as a haystack; I have put up two bottles
  • of the gillyflower water for Mrs. Sedley, and the receipt for making
  • it, in Amelia's box."
  • "And I trust, Miss Jemima, you have made a copy of Miss Sedley's
  • account. This is it, is it? Very good--ninety-three pounds, four
  • shillings. Be kind enough to address it to John Sedley, Esquire, and
  • to seal this billet which I have written to his lady."
  • In Miss Jemima's eyes an autograph letter of her sister, Miss
  • Pinkerton, was an object of as deep veneration as would have been a
  • letter from a sovereign. Only when her pupils quitted the
  • establishment, or when they were about to be married, and once, when
  • poor Miss Birch died of the scarlet fever, was Miss Pinkerton known to
  • write personally to the parents of her pupils; and it was Jemima's
  • opinion that if anything could console Mrs. Birch for her daughter's
  • loss, it would be that pious and eloquent composition in which Miss
  • Pinkerton announced the event.
  • In the present instance Miss Pinkerton's "billet" was to the following
  • effect:--
  • The Mall, Chiswick, June 15, 18
  • MADAM,--After her six years' residence at the Mall, I have the honour
  • and happiness of presenting Miss Amelia Sedley to her parents, as a
  • young lady not unworthy to occupy a fitting position in their polished
  • and refined circle. Those virtues which characterize the young English
  • gentlewoman, those accomplishments which become her birth and station,
  • will not be found wanting in the amiable Miss Sedley, whose INDUSTRY
  • and OBEDIENCE have endeared her to her instructors, and whose
  • delightful sweetness of temper has charmed her AGED and her YOUTHFUL
  • companions.
  • In music, in dancing, in orthography, in every variety of embroidery
  • and needlework, she will be found to have realized her friends' fondest
  • wishes. In geography there is still much to be desired; and a careful
  • and undeviating use of the backboard, for four hours daily during the
  • next three years, is recommended as necessary to the acquirement of
  • that dignified DEPORTMENT AND CARRIAGE, so requisite for every young
  • lady of FASHION.
  • In the principles of religion and morality, Miss Sedley will be found
  • worthy of an establishment which has been honoured by the presence of
  • THE GREAT LEXICOGRAPHER, and the patronage of the admirable Mrs.
  • Chapone. In leaving the Mall, Miss Amelia carries with her the hearts
  • of her companions, and the affectionate regards of her mistress, who
  • has the honour to subscribe herself,
  • Madam, Your most obliged humble servant, BARBARA PINKERTON
  • P.S.--Miss Sharp accompanies Miss Sedley. It is particularly requested
  • that Miss Sharp's stay in Russell Square may not exceed ten days. The
  • family of distinction with whom she is engaged, desire to avail
  • themselves of her services as soon as possible.
  • This letter completed, Miss Pinkerton proceeded to write her own name,
  • and Miss Sedley's, in the fly-leaf of a Johnson's Dictionary--the
  • interesting work which she invariably presented to her scholars, on
  • their departure from the Mall. On the cover was inserted a copy of
  • "Lines addressed to a young lady on quitting Miss Pinkerton's school,
  • at the Mall; by the late revered Doctor Samuel Johnson." In fact, the
  • Lexicographer's name was always on the lips of this majestic woman, and
  • a visit he had paid to her was the cause of her reputation and her
  • fortune.
  • Being commanded by her elder sister to get "the Dictionary" from the
  • cupboard, Miss Jemima had extracted two copies of the book from the
  • receptacle in question. When Miss Pinkerton had finished the
  • inscription in the first, Jemima, with rather a dubious and timid air,
  • handed her the second.
  • "For whom is this, Miss Jemima?" said Miss Pinkerton, with awful
  • coldness.
  • "For Becky Sharp," answered Jemima, trembling very much, and blushing
  • over her withered face and neck, as she turned her back on her sister.
  • "For Becky Sharp: she's going too."
  • "MISS JEMIMA!" exclaimed Miss Pinkerton, in the largest capitals. "Are
  • you in your senses? Replace the Dixonary in the closet, and never
  • venture to take such a liberty in future."
  • "Well, sister, it's only two-and-ninepence, and poor Becky will be
  • miserable if she don't get one."
  • "Send Miss Sedley instantly to me," said Miss Pinkerton. And so
  • venturing not to say another word, poor Jemima trotted off, exceedingly
  • flurried and nervous.
  • Miss Sedley's papa was a merchant in London, and a man of some wealth;
  • whereas Miss Sharp was an articled pupil, for whom Miss Pinkerton had
  • done, as she thought, quite enough, without conferring upon her at
  • parting the high honour of the Dixonary.
  • Although schoolmistresses' letters are to be trusted no more nor less
  • than churchyard epitaphs; yet, as it sometimes happens that a person
  • departs this life who is really deserving of all the praises the stone
  • cutter carves over his bones; who IS a good Christian, a good parent,
  • child, wife, or husband; who actually DOES leave a disconsolate family
  • to mourn his loss; so in academies of the male and female sex it occurs
  • every now and then that the pupil is fully worthy of the praises
  • bestowed by the disinterested instructor. Now, Miss Amelia Sedley was a
  • young lady of this singular species; and deserved not only all that
  • Miss Pinkerton said in her praise, but had many charming qualities
  • which that pompous old Minerva of a woman could not see, from the
  • differences of rank and age between her pupil and herself.
  • For she could not only sing like a lark, or a Mrs. Billington, and
  • dance like Hillisberg or Parisot; and embroider beautifully; and spell
  • as well as a Dixonary itself; but she had such a kindly, smiling,
  • tender, gentle, generous heart of her own, as won the love of everybody
  • who came near her, from Minerva herself down to the poor girl in the
  • scullery, and the one-eyed tart-woman's daughter, who was permitted to
  • vend her wares once a week to the young ladies in the Mall. She had
  • twelve intimate and bosom friends out of the twenty-four young ladies.
  • Even envious Miss Briggs never spoke ill of her; high and mighty Miss
  • Saltire (Lord Dexter's granddaughter) allowed that her figure was
  • genteel; and as for Miss Swartz, the rich woolly-haired mulatto from
  • St. Kitt's, on the day Amelia went away, she was in such a passion of
  • tears that they were obliged to send for Dr. Floss, and half tipsify
  • her with salvolatile. Miss Pinkerton's attachment was, as may be
  • supposed from the high position and eminent virtues of that lady, calm
  • and dignified; but Miss Jemima had already whimpered several times at
  • the idea of Amelia's departure; and, but for fear of her sister, would
  • have gone off in downright hysterics, like the heiress (who paid
  • double) of St. Kitt's. Such luxury of grief, however, is only allowed
  • to parlour-boarders. Honest Jemima had all the bills, and the washing,
  • and the mending, and the puddings, and the plate and crockery, and the
  • servants to superintend. But why speak about her? It is probable that
  • we shall not hear of her again from this moment to the end of time, and
  • that when the great filigree iron gates are once closed on her, she and
  • her awful sister will never issue therefrom into this little world of
  • history.
  • But as we are to see a great deal of Amelia, there is no harm in
  • saying, at the outset of our acquaintance, that she was a dear little
  • creature; and a great mercy it is, both in life and in novels, which
  • (and the latter especially) abound in villains of the most sombre sort,
  • that we are to have for a constant companion so guileless and
  • good-natured a person. As she is not a heroine, there is no need to
  • describe her person; indeed I am afraid that her nose was rather short
  • than otherwise, and her cheeks a great deal too round and red for a
  • heroine; but her face blushed with rosy health, and her lips with the
  • freshest of smiles, and she had a pair of eyes which sparkled with the
  • brightest and honestest good-humour, except indeed when they filled
  • with tears, and that was a great deal too often; for the silly thing
  • would cry over a dead canary-bird; or over a mouse, that the cat haply
  • had seized upon; or over the end of a novel, were it ever so stupid;
  • and as for saying an unkind word to her, were any persons hard-hearted
  • enough to do so--why, so much the worse for them. Even Miss Pinkerton,
  • that austere and godlike woman, ceased scolding her after the first
  • time, and though she no more comprehended sensibility than she did
  • Algebra, gave all masters and teachers particular orders to treat Miss
  • Sedley with the utmost gentleness, as harsh treatment was injurious to
  • her.
  • So that when the day of departure came, between her two customs of
  • laughing and crying, Miss Sedley was greatly puzzled how to act. She
  • was glad to go home, and yet most woefully sad at leaving school. For
  • three days before, little Laura Martin, the orphan, followed her about
  • like a little dog. She had to make and receive at least fourteen
  • presents--to make fourteen solemn promises of writing every week:
  • "Send my letters under cover to my grandpapa, the Earl of Dexter," said
  • Miss Saltire (who, by the way, was rather shabby). "Never mind the
  • postage, but write every day, you dear darling," said the impetuous and
  • woolly-headed, but generous and affectionate Miss Swartz; and the
  • orphan little Laura Martin (who was just in round-hand), took her
  • friend's hand and said, looking up in her face wistfully, "Amelia, when
  • I write to you I shall call you Mamma." All which details, I have no
  • doubt, JONES, who reads this book at his Club, will pronounce to be
  • excessively foolish, trivial, twaddling, and ultra-sentimental. Yes; I
  • can see Jones at this minute (rather flushed with his joint of mutton
  • and half pint of wine), taking out his pencil and scoring under the
  • words "foolish, twaddling," &c., and adding to them his own remark of
  • "QUITE TRUE." Well, he is a lofty man of genius, and admires the great
  • and heroic in life and novels; and so had better take warning and go
  • elsewhere.
  • Well, then. The flowers, and the presents, and the trunks, and
  • bonnet-boxes of Miss Sedley having been arranged by Mr. Sambo in the
  • carriage, together with a very small and weather-beaten old cow's-skin
  • trunk with Miss Sharp's card neatly nailed upon it, which was delivered
  • by Sambo with a grin, and packed by the coachman with a corresponding
  • sneer--the hour for parting came; and the grief of that moment was
  • considerably lessened by the admirable discourse which Miss Pinkerton
  • addressed to her pupil. Not that the parting speech caused Amelia to
  • philosophise, or that it armed her in any way with a calmness, the
  • result of argument; but it was intolerably dull, pompous, and tedious;
  • and having the fear of her schoolmistress greatly before her eyes, Miss
  • Sedley did not venture, in her presence, to give way to any ebullitions
  • of private grief. A seed-cake and a bottle of wine were produced in
  • the drawing-room, as on the solemn occasions of the visits of parents,
  • and these refreshments being partaken of, Miss Sedley was at liberty to
  • depart.
  • "You'll go in and say good-by to Miss Pinkerton, Becky!" said Miss
  • Jemima to a young lady of whom nobody took any notice, and who was
  • coming downstairs with her own bandbox.
  • "I suppose I must," said Miss Sharp calmly, and much to the wonder of
  • Miss Jemima; and the latter having knocked at the door, and receiving
  • permission to come in, Miss Sharp advanced in a very unconcerned
  • manner, and said in French, and with a perfect accent, "Mademoiselle,
  • je viens vous faire mes adieux."
  • Miss Pinkerton did not understand French; she only directed those who
  • did: but biting her lips and throwing up her venerable and Roman-nosed
  • head (on the top of which figured a large and solemn turban), she said,
  • "Miss Sharp, I wish you a good morning." As the Hammersmith Semiramis
  • spoke, she waved one hand, both by way of adieu, and to give Miss Sharp
  • an opportunity of shaking one of the fingers of the hand which was left
  • out for that purpose.
  • Miss Sharp only folded her own hands with a very frigid smile and bow,
  • and quite declined to accept the proffered honour; on which Semiramis
  • tossed up her turban more indignantly than ever. In fact, it was a
  • little battle between the young lady and the old one, and the latter
  • was worsted. "Heaven bless you, my child," said she, embracing Amelia,
  • and scowling the while over the girl's shoulder at Miss Sharp. "Come
  • away, Becky," said Miss Jemima, pulling the young woman away in great
  • alarm, and the drawing-room door closed upon them for ever.
  • Then came the struggle and parting below. Words refuse to tell it. All
  • the servants were there in the hall--all the dear friends--all the young
  • ladies--the dancing-master who had just arrived; and there was such a
  • scuffling, and hugging, and kissing, and crying, with the hysterical
  • YOOPS of Miss Swartz, the parlour-boarder, from her room, as no pen can
  • depict, and as the tender heart would fain pass over. The embracing was
  • over; they parted--that is, Miss Sedley parted from her friends. Miss
  • Sharp had demurely entered the carriage some minutes before. Nobody
  • cried for leaving HER.
  • Sambo of the bandy legs slammed the carriage door on his young weeping
  • mistress. He sprang up behind the carriage. "Stop!" cried Miss
  • Jemima, rushing to the gate with a parcel.
  • "It's some sandwiches, my dear," said she to Amelia. "You may be
  • hungry, you know; and Becky, Becky Sharp, here's a book for you that my
  • sister--that is, I--Johnson's Dixonary, you know; you mustn't leave us
  • without that. Good-by. Drive on, coachman. God bless you!"
  • And the kind creature retreated into the garden, overcome with emotion.
  • But, lo! and just as the coach drove off, Miss Sharp put her pale face
  • out of the window and actually flung the book back into the garden.
  • This almost caused Jemima to faint with terror. "Well, I never"--said
  • she--"what an audacious"--Emotion prevented her from completing either
  • sentence. The carriage rolled away; the great gates were closed; the
  • bell rang for the dancing lesson. The world is before the two young
  • ladies; and so, farewell to Chiswick Mall.
  • CHAPTER II
  • In Which Miss Sharp and Miss Sedley Prepare to Open the Campaign
  • When Miss Sharp had performed the heroical act mentioned in the last
  • chapter, and had seen the Dixonary, flying over the pavement of the
  • little garden, fall at length at the feet of the astonished Miss
  • Jemima, the young lady's countenance, which had before worn an almost
  • livid look of hatred, assumed a smile that perhaps was scarcely more
  • agreeable, and she sank back in the carriage in an easy frame of mind,
  • saying--"So much for the Dixonary; and, thank God, I'm out of Chiswick."
  • Miss Sedley was almost as flurried at the act of defiance as Miss
  • Jemima had been; for, consider, it was but one minute that she had left
  • school, and the impressions of six years are not got over in that space
  • of time. Nay, with some persons those awes and terrors of youth last
  • for ever and ever. I know, for instance, an old gentleman of
  • sixty-eight, who said to me one morning at breakfast, with a very
  • agitated countenance, "I dreamed last night that I was flogged by Dr.
  • Raine." Fancy had carried him back five-and-fifty years in the course
  • of that evening. Dr. Raine and his rod were just as awful to him in
  • his heart, then, at sixty-eight, as they had been at thirteen. If the
  • Doctor, with a large birch, had appeared bodily to him, even at the age
  • of threescore and eight, and had said in awful voice, "Boy, take down
  • your pant--"? Well, well, Miss Sedley was exceedingly alarmed at this
  • act of insubordination.
  • "How could you do so, Rebecca?" at last she said, after a pause.
  • "Why, do you think Miss Pinkerton will come out and order me back to
  • the black-hole?" said Rebecca, laughing.
  • "No: but--"
  • "I hate the whole house," continued Miss Sharp in a fury. "I hope I
  • may never set eyes on it again. I wish it were in the bottom of the
  • Thames, I do; and if Miss Pinkerton were there, I wouldn't pick her
  • out, that I wouldn't. O how I should like to see her floating in the
  • water yonder, turban and all, with her train streaming after her, and
  • her nose like the beak of a wherry."
  • "Hush!" cried Miss Sedley.
  • "Why, will the black footman tell tales?" cried Miss Rebecca, laughing.
  • "He may go back and tell Miss Pinkerton that I hate her with all my
  • soul; and I wish he would; and I wish I had a means of proving it, too.
  • For two years I have only had insults and outrage from her. I have been
  • treated worse than any servant in the kitchen. I have never had a
  • friend or a kind word, except from you. I have been made to tend the
  • little girls in the lower schoolroom, and to talk French to the Misses,
  • until I grew sick of my mother tongue. But that talking French to Miss
  • Pinkerton was capital fun, wasn't it? She doesn't know a word of
  • French, and was too proud to confess it. I believe it was that which
  • made her part with me; and so thank Heaven for French. Vive la France!
  • Vive l'Empereur! Vive Bonaparte!"
  • "O Rebecca, Rebecca, for shame!" cried Miss Sedley; for this was the
  • greatest blasphemy Rebecca had as yet uttered; and in those days, in
  • England, to say, "Long live Bonaparte!" was as much as to say, "Long
  • live Lucifer!" "How can you--how dare you have such wicked, revengeful
  • thoughts?"
  • "Revenge may be wicked, but it's natural," answered Miss Rebecca. "I'm
  • no angel." And, to say the truth, she certainly was not.
  • For it may be remarked in the course of this little conversation (which
  • took place as the coach rolled along lazily by the river side) that
  • though Miss Rebecca Sharp has twice had occasion to thank Heaven, it
  • has been, in the first place, for ridding her of some person whom she
  • hated, and secondly, for enabling her to bring her enemies to some sort
  • of perplexity or confusion; neither of which are very amiable motives
  • for religious gratitude, or such as would be put forward by persons of
  • a kind and placable disposition. Miss Rebecca was not, then, in the
  • least kind or placable. All the world used her ill, said this young
  • misanthropist, and we may be pretty certain that persons whom all the
  • world treats ill, deserve entirely the treatment they get. The world
  • is a looking-glass, and gives back to every man the reflection of his
  • own face. Frown at it, and it will in turn look sourly upon you; laugh
  • at it and with it, and it is a jolly kind companion; and so let all
  • young persons take their choice. This is certain, that if the world
  • neglected Miss Sharp, she never was known to have done a good action in
  • behalf of anybody; nor can it be expected that twenty-four young ladies
  • should all be as amiable as the heroine of this work, Miss Sedley (whom
  • we have selected for the very reason that she was the best-natured of
  • all, otherwise what on earth was to have prevented us from putting up
  • Miss Swartz, or Miss Crump, or Miss Hopkins, as heroine in her place!)
  • it could not be expected that every one should be of the humble and
  • gentle temper of Miss Amelia Sedley; should take every opportunity to
  • vanquish Rebecca's hard-heartedness and ill-humour; and, by a thousand
  • kind words and offices, overcome, for once at least, her hostility to
  • her kind.
  • Miss Sharp's father was an artist, and in that quality had given
  • lessons of drawing at Miss Pinkerton's school. He was a clever man; a
  • pleasant companion; a careless student; with a great propensity for
  • running into debt, and a partiality for the tavern. When he was drunk,
  • he used to beat his wife and daughter; and the next morning, with a
  • headache, he would rail at the world for its neglect of his genius, and
  • abuse, with a good deal of cleverness, and sometimes with perfect
  • reason, the fools, his brother painters. As it was with the utmost
  • difficulty that he could keep himself, and as he owed money for a mile
  • round Soho, where he lived, he thought to better his circumstances by
  • marrying a young woman of the French nation, who was by profession an
  • opera-girl. The humble calling of her female parent Miss Sharp never
  • alluded to, but used to state subsequently that the Entrechats were a
  • noble family of Gascony, and took great pride in her descent from them.
  • And curious it is that as she advanced in life this young lady's
  • ancestors increased in rank and splendour.
  • Rebecca's mother had had some education somewhere, and her daughter
  • spoke French with purity and a Parisian accent. It was in those days
  • rather a rare accomplishment, and led to her engagement with the
  • orthodox Miss Pinkerton. For her mother being dead, her father,
  • finding himself not likely to recover, after his third attack of
  • delirium tremens, wrote a manly and pathetic letter to Miss Pinkerton,
  • recommending the orphan child to her protection, and so descended to
  • the grave, after two bailiffs had quarrelled over his corpse. Rebecca
  • was seventeen when she came to Chiswick, and was bound over as an
  • articled pupil; her duties being to talk French, as we have seen; and
  • her privileges to live cost free, and, with a few guineas a year, to
  • gather scraps of knowledge from the professors who attended the school.
  • She was small and slight in person; pale, sandy-haired, and with eyes
  • habitually cast down: when they looked up they were very large, odd,
  • and attractive; so attractive that the Reverend Mr. Crisp, fresh from
  • Oxford, and curate to the Vicar of Chiswick, the Reverend Mr.
  • Flowerdew, fell in love with Miss Sharp; being shot dead by a glance of
  • her eyes which was fired all the way across Chiswick Church from the
  • school-pew to the reading-desk. This infatuated young man used
  • sometimes to take tea with Miss Pinkerton, to whom he had been
  • presented by his mamma, and actually proposed something like marriage
  • in an intercepted note, which the one-eyed apple-woman was charged to
  • deliver. Mrs. Crisp was summoned from Buxton, and abruptly carried off
  • her darling boy; but the idea, even, of such an eagle in the Chiswick
  • dovecot caused a great flutter in the breast of Miss Pinkerton, who
  • would have sent away Miss Sharp but that she was bound to her under a
  • forfeit, and who never could thoroughly believe the young lady's
  • protestations that she had never exchanged a single word with Mr.
  • Crisp, except under her own eyes on the two occasions when she had met
  • him at tea.
  • By the side of many tall and bouncing young ladies in the
  • establishment, Rebecca Sharp looked like a child. But she had the
  • dismal precocity of poverty. Many a dun had she talked to, and turned
  • away from her father's door; many a tradesman had she coaxed and
  • wheedled into good-humour, and into the granting of one meal more. She
  • sate commonly with her father, who was very proud of her wit, and heard
  • the talk of many of his wild companions--often but ill-suited for a
  • girl to hear. But she never had been a girl, she said; she had been a
  • woman since she was eight years old. Oh, why did Miss Pinkerton let
  • such a dangerous bird into her cage?
  • The fact is, the old lady believed Rebecca to be the meekest creature
  • in the world, so admirably, on the occasions when her father brought
  • her to Chiswick, used Rebecca to perform the part of the ingenue; and
  • only a year before the arrangement by which Rebecca had been admitted
  • into her house, and when Rebecca was sixteen years old, Miss Pinkerton
  • majestically, and with a little speech, made her a present of a
  • doll--which was, by the way, the confiscated property of Miss Swindle,
  • discovered surreptitiously nursing it in school-hours. How the father
  • and daughter laughed as they trudged home together after the evening
  • party (it was on the occasion of the speeches, when all the professors
  • were invited) and how Miss Pinkerton would have raged had she seen the
  • caricature of herself which the little mimic, Rebecca, managed to make
  • out of her doll. Becky used to go through dialogues with it; it formed
  • the delight of Newman Street, Gerrard Street, and the Artists' quarter:
  • and the young painters, when they came to take their gin-and-water with
  • their lazy, dissolute, clever, jovial senior, used regularly to ask
  • Rebecca if Miss Pinkerton was at home: she was as well known to them,
  • poor soul! as Mr. Lawrence or President West. Once Rebecca had the
  • honour to pass a few days at Chiswick; after which she brought back
  • Jemima, and erected another doll as Miss Jemmy: for though that honest
  • creature had made and given her jelly and cake enough for three
  • children, and a seven-shilling piece at parting, the girl's sense of
  • ridicule was far stronger than her gratitude, and she sacrificed Miss
  • Jemmy quite as pitilessly as her sister.
  • The catastrophe came, and she was brought to the Mall as to her home.
  • The rigid formality of the place suffocated her: the prayers and the
  • meals, the lessons and the walks, which were arranged with a conventual
  • regularity, oppressed her almost beyond endurance; and she looked back
  • to the freedom and the beggary of the old studio in Soho with so much
  • regret, that everybody, herself included, fancied she was consumed with
  • grief for her father. She had a little room in the garret, where the
  • maids heard her walking and sobbing at night; but it was with rage, and
  • not with grief. She had not been much of a dissembler, until now her
  • loneliness taught her to feign. She had never mingled in the society of
  • women: her father, reprobate as he was, was a man of talent; his
  • conversation was a thousand times more agreeable to her than the talk
  • of such of her own sex as she now encountered. The pompous vanity of
  • the old schoolmistress, the foolish good-humour of her sister, the
  • silly chat and scandal of the elder girls, and the frigid correctness
  • of the governesses equally annoyed her; and she had no soft maternal
  • heart, this unlucky girl, otherwise the prattle and talk of the younger
  • children, with whose care she was chiefly intrusted, might have soothed
  • and interested her; but she lived among them two years, and not one was
  • sorry that she went away. The gentle tender-hearted Amelia Sedley was
  • the only person to whom she could attach herself in the least; and who
  • could help attaching herself to Amelia?
  • The happiness--the superior advantages of the young women round about
  • her, gave Rebecca inexpressible pangs of envy. "What airs that girl
  • gives herself, because she is an Earl's grand-daughter," she said of
  • one. "How they cringe and bow to that Creole, because of her hundred
  • thousand pounds! I am a thousand times cleverer and more charming than
  • that creature, for all her wealth. I am as well bred as the Earl's
  • grand-daughter, for all her fine pedigree; and yet every one passes me
  • by here. And yet, when I was at my father's, did not the men give up
  • their gayest balls and parties in order to pass the evening with me?"
  • She determined at any rate to get free from the prison in which she
  • found herself, and now began to act for herself, and for the first time
  • to make connected plans for the future.
  • She took advantage, therefore, of the means of study the place offered
  • her; and as she was already a musician and a good linguist, she
  • speedily went through the little course of study which was considered
  • necessary for ladies in those days. Her music she practised
  • incessantly, and one day, when the girls were out, and she had remained
  • at home, she was overheard to play a piece so well that Minerva
  • thought, wisely, she could spare herself the expense of a master for
  • the juniors, and intimated to Miss Sharp that she was to instruct them
  • in music for the future.
  • The girl refused; and for the first time, and to the astonishment of
  • the majestic mistress of the school. "I am here to speak French with
  • the children," Rebecca said abruptly, "not to teach them music, and
  • save money for you. Give me money, and I will teach them."
  • Minerva was obliged to yield, and, of course, disliked her from that
  • day. "For five-and-thirty years," she said, and with great justice, "I
  • never have seen the individual who has dared in my own house to
  • question my authority. I have nourished a viper in my bosom."
  • "A viper--a fiddlestick," said Miss Sharp to the old lady, almost
  • fainting with astonishment. "You took me because I was useful. There
  • is no question of gratitude between us. I hate this place, and want to
  • leave it. I will do nothing here but what I am obliged to do."
  • It was in vain that the old lady asked her if she was aware she was
  • speaking to Miss Pinkerton? Rebecca laughed in her face, with a horrid
  • sarcastic demoniacal laughter, that almost sent the schoolmistress into
  • fits. "Give me a sum of money," said the girl, "and get rid of me--or,
  • if you like better, get me a good place as governess in a nobleman's
  • family--you can do so if you please." And in their further disputes
  • she always returned to this point, "Get me a situation--we hate each
  • other, and I am ready to go."
  • Worthy Miss Pinkerton, although she had a Roman nose and a turban, and
  • was as tall as a grenadier, and had been up to this time an
  • irresistible princess, had no will or strength like that of her little
  • apprentice, and in vain did battle against her, and tried to overawe
  • her. Attempting once to scold her in public, Rebecca hit upon the
  • before-mentioned plan of answering her in French, which quite routed
  • the old woman. In order to maintain authority in her school, it became
  • necessary to remove this rebel, this monster, this serpent, this
  • firebrand; and hearing about this time that Sir Pitt Crawley's family
  • was in want of a governess, she actually recommended Miss Sharp for the
  • situation, firebrand and serpent as she was. "I cannot, certainly,"
  • she said, "find fault with Miss Sharp's conduct, except to myself; and
  • must allow that her talents and accomplishments are of a high order. As
  • far as the head goes, at least, she does credit to the educational
  • system pursued at my establishment."
  • And so the schoolmistress reconciled the recommendation to her
  • conscience, and the indentures were cancelled, and the apprentice was
  • free. The battle here described in a few lines, of course, lasted for
  • some months. And as Miss Sedley, being now in her seventeenth year,
  • was about to leave school, and had a friendship for Miss Sharp ("'tis
  • the only point in Amelia's behaviour," said Minerva, "which has not
  • been satisfactory to her mistress"), Miss Sharp was invited by her
  • friend to pass a week with her at home, before she entered upon her
  • duties as governess in a private family.
  • Thus the world began for these two young ladies. For Amelia it was
  • quite a new, fresh, brilliant world, with all the bloom upon it. It
  • was not quite a new one for Rebecca--(indeed, if the truth must be told
  • with respect to the Crisp affair, the tart-woman hinted to somebody,
  • who took an affidavit of the fact to somebody else, that there was a
  • great deal more than was made public regarding Mr. Crisp and Miss
  • Sharp, and that his letter was in answer to another letter). But who
  • can tell you the real truth of the matter? At all events, if Rebecca
  • was not beginning the world, she was beginning it over again.
  • By the time the young ladies reached Kensington turnpike, Amelia had
  • not forgotten her companions, but had dried her tears, and had blushed
  • very much and been delighted at a young officer of the Life Guards, who
  • spied her as he was riding by, and said, "A dem fine gal, egad!" and
  • before the carriage arrived in Russell Square, a great deal of
  • conversation had taken place about the Drawing-room, and whether or not
  • young ladies wore powder as well as hoops when presented, and whether
  • she was to have that honour: to the Lord Mayor's ball she knew she was
  • to go. And when at length home was reached, Miss Amelia Sedley skipped
  • out on Sambo's arm, as happy and as handsome a girl as any in the whole
  • big city of London. Both he and coachman agreed on this point, and so
  • did her father and mother, and so did every one of the servants in the
  • house, as they stood bobbing, and curtseying, and smiling, in the hall
  • to welcome their young mistress.
  • You may be sure that she showed Rebecca over every room of the house,
  • and everything in every one of her drawers; and her books, and her
  • piano, and her dresses, and all her necklaces, brooches, laces, and
  • gimcracks. She insisted upon Rebecca accepting the white cornelian and
  • the turquoise rings, and a sweet sprigged muslin, which was too small
  • for her now, though it would fit her friend to a nicety; and she
  • determined in her heart to ask her mother's permission to present her
  • white Cashmere shawl to her friend. Could she not spare it? and had
  • not her brother Joseph just brought her two from India?
  • When Rebecca saw the two magnificent Cashmere shawls which Joseph
  • Sedley had brought home to his sister, she said, with perfect truth,
  • "that it must be delightful to have a brother," and easily got the pity
  • of the tender-hearted Amelia for being alone in the world, an orphan
  • without friends or kindred.
  • "Not alone," said Amelia; "you know, Rebecca, I shall always be your
  • friend, and love you as a sister--indeed I will."
  • "Ah, but to have parents, as you have--kind, rich, affectionate
  • parents, who give you everything you ask for; and their love, which is
  • more precious than all! My poor papa could give me nothing, and I had
  • but two frocks in all the world! And then, to have a brother, a dear
  • brother! Oh, how you must love him!"
  • Amelia laughed.
  • "What! don't you love him? you, who say you love everybody?"
  • "Yes, of course, I do--only--"
  • "Only what?"
  • "Only Joseph doesn't seem to care much whether I love him or not. He
  • gave me two fingers to shake when he arrived after ten years' absence!
  • He is very kind and good, but he scarcely ever speaks to me; I think he
  • loves his pipe a great deal better than his"--but here Amelia checked
  • herself, for why should she speak ill of her brother? "He was very kind
  • to me as a child," she added; "I was but five years old when he went
  • away."
  • "Isn't he very rich?" said Rebecca. "They say all Indian nabobs are
  • enormously rich."
  • "I believe he has a very large income."
  • "And is your sister-in-law a nice pretty woman?"
  • "La! Joseph is not married," said Amelia, laughing again.
  • Perhaps she had mentioned the fact already to Rebecca, but that young
  • lady did not appear to have remembered it; indeed, vowed and protested
  • that she expected to see a number of Amelia's nephews and nieces. She
  • was quite disappointed that Mr. Sedley was not married; she was sure
  • Amelia had said he was, and she doted so on little children.
  • "I think you must have had enough of them at Chiswick," said Amelia,
  • rather wondering at the sudden tenderness on her friend's part; and
  • indeed in later days Miss Sharp would never have committed herself so
  • far as to advance opinions, the untruth of which would have been so
  • easily detected. But we must remember that she is but nineteen as yet,
  • unused to the art of deceiving, poor innocent creature! and making her
  • own experience in her own person. The meaning of the above series of
  • queries, as translated in the heart of this ingenious young woman, was
  • simply this: "If Mr. Joseph Sedley is rich and unmarried, why should I
  • not marry him? I have only a fortnight, to be sure, but there is no
  • harm in trying." And she determined within herself to make this
  • laudable attempt. She redoubled her caresses to Amelia; she kissed the
  • white cornelian necklace as she put it on; and vowed she would never,
  • never part with it. When the dinner-bell rang she went downstairs with
  • her arm round her friend's waist, as is the habit of young ladies. She
  • was so agitated at the drawing-room door, that she could hardly find
  • courage to enter. "Feel my heart, how it beats, dear!" said she to her
  • friend.
  • "No, it doesn't," said Amelia. "Come in, don't be frightened. Papa
  • won't do you any harm."
  • CHAPTER III
  • Rebecca Is in Presence of the Enemy
  • A VERY stout, puffy man, in buckskins and Hessian boots, with several
  • immense neckcloths that rose almost to his nose, with a red striped
  • waistcoat and an apple green coat with steel buttons almost as large as
  • crown pieces (it was the morning costume of a dandy or blood of those
  • days) was reading the paper by the fire when the two girls entered, and
  • bounced off his arm-chair, and blushed excessively, and hid his entire
  • face almost in his neckcloths at this apparition.
  • "It's only your sister, Joseph," said Amelia, laughing and shaking the
  • two fingers which he held out. "I've come home FOR GOOD, you know; and
  • this is my friend, Miss Sharp, whom you have heard me mention."
  • "No, never, upon my word," said the head under the neckcloth, shaking
  • very much--"that is, yes--what abominably cold weather, Miss"--and
  • herewith he fell to poking the fire with all his might, although it was
  • in the middle of June.
  • "He's very handsome," whispered Rebecca to Amelia, rather loud.
  • "Do you think so?" said the latter. "I'll tell him."
  • "Darling! not for worlds," said Miss Sharp, starting back as timid as a
  • fawn. She had previously made a respectful virgin-like curtsey to the
  • gentleman, and her modest eyes gazed so perseveringly on the carpet
  • that it was a wonder how she should have found an opportunity to see
  • him.
  • "Thank you for the beautiful shawls, brother," said Amelia to the fire
  • poker. "Are they not beautiful, Rebecca?"
  • "O heavenly!" said Miss Sharp, and her eyes went from the carpet
  • straight to the chandelier.
  • Joseph still continued a huge clattering at the poker and tongs,
  • puffing and blowing the while, and turning as red as his yellow face
  • would allow him. "I can't make you such handsome presents, Joseph,"
  • continued his sister, "but while I was at school, I have embroidered
  • for you a very beautiful pair of braces."
  • "Good Gad! Amelia," cried the brother, in serious alarm, "what do you
  • mean?" and plunging with all his might at the bell-rope, that article
  • of furniture came away in his hand, and increased the honest fellow's
  • confusion. "For heaven's sake see if my buggy's at the door. I CAN'T
  • wait. I must go. D---- that groom of mine. I must go."
  • At this minute the father of the family walked in, rattling his seals
  • like a true British merchant. "What's the matter, Emmy?" says he.
  • "Joseph wants me to see if his--his buggy is at the door. What is a
  • buggy, Papa?"
  • "It is a one-horse palanquin," said the old gentleman, who was a wag in
  • his way.
  • Joseph at this burst out into a wild fit of laughter; in which,
  • encountering the eye of Miss Sharp, he stopped all of a sudden, as if
  • he had been shot.
  • "This young lady is your friend? Miss Sharp, I am very happy to see
  • you. Have you and Emmy been quarrelling already with Joseph, that he
  • wants to be off?"
  • "I promised Bonamy of our service, sir," said Joseph, "to dine with
  • him."
  • "O fie! didn't you tell your mother you would dine here?"
  • "But in this dress it's impossible."
  • "Look at him, isn't he handsome enough to dine anywhere, Miss Sharp?"
  • On which, of course, Miss Sharp looked at her friend, and they both set
  • off in a fit of laughter, highly agreeable to the old gentleman.
  • "Did you ever see a pair of buckskins like those at Miss Pinkerton's?"
  • continued he, following up his advantage.
  • "Gracious heavens! Father," cried Joseph.
  • "There now, I have hurt his feelings. Mrs. Sedley, my dear, I have
  • hurt your son's feelings. I have alluded to his buckskins. Ask Miss
  • Sharp if I haven't? Come, Joseph, be friends with Miss Sharp, and let
  • us all go to dinner."
  • "There's a pillau, Joseph, just as you like it, and Papa has brought
  • home the best turbot in Billingsgate."
  • "Come, come, sir, walk downstairs with Miss Sharp, and I will follow
  • with these two young women," said the father, and he took an arm of
  • wife and daughter and walked merrily off.
  • If Miss Rebecca Sharp had determined in her heart upon making the
  • conquest of this big beau, I don't think, ladies, we have any right to
  • blame her; for though the task of husband-hunting is generally, and
  • with becoming modesty, entrusted by young persons to their mammas,
  • recollect that Miss Sharp had no kind parent to arrange these delicate
  • matters for her, and that if she did not get a husband for herself,
  • there was no one else in the wide world who would take the trouble off
  • her hands. What causes young people to "come out," but the noble
  • ambition of matrimony? What sends them trooping to watering-places?
  • What keeps them dancing till five o'clock in the morning through a
  • whole mortal season? What causes them to labour at pianoforte sonatas,
  • and to learn four songs from a fashionable master at a guinea a lesson,
  • and to play the harp if they have handsome arms and neat elbows, and to
  • wear Lincoln Green toxophilite hats and feathers, but that they may
  • bring down some "desirable" young man with those killing bows and
  • arrows of theirs? What causes respectable parents to take up their
  • carpets, set their houses topsy-turvy, and spend a fifth of their
  • year's income in ball suppers and iced champagne? Is it sheer love of
  • their species, and an unadulterated wish to see young people happy and
  • dancing? Psha! they want to marry their daughters; and, as honest Mrs.
  • Sedley has, in the depths of her kind heart, already arranged a score
  • of little schemes for the settlement of her Amelia, so also had our
  • beloved but unprotected Rebecca determined to do her very best to
  • secure the husband, who was even more necessary for her than for her
  • friend. She had a vivid imagination; she had, besides, read the Arabian
  • Nights and Guthrie's Geography; and it is a fact that while she was
  • dressing for dinner, and after she had asked Amelia whether her brother
  • was very rich, she had built for herself a most magnificent castle in
  • the air, of which she was mistress, with a husband somewhere in the
  • background (she had not seen him as yet, and his figure would not
  • therefore be very distinct); she had arrayed herself in an infinity of
  • shawls, turbans, and diamond necklaces, and had mounted upon an
  • elephant to the sound of the march in Bluebeard, in order to pay a
  • visit of ceremony to the Grand Mogul. Charming Alnaschar visions! it is
  • the happy privilege of youth to construct you, and many a fanciful
  • young creature besides Rebecca Sharp has indulged in these delightful
  • day-dreams ere now!
  • Joseph Sedley was twelve years older than his sister Amelia. He was in
  • the East India Company's Civil Service, and his name appeared, at the
  • period of which we write, in the Bengal division of the East India
  • Register, as collector of Boggley Wollah, an honourable and lucrative
  • post, as everybody knows: in order to know to what higher posts Joseph
  • rose in the service, the reader is referred to the same periodical.
  • Boggley Wollah is situated in a fine, lonely, marshy, jungly district,
  • famous for snipe-shooting, and where not unfrequently you may flush a
  • tiger. Ramgunge, where there is a magistrate, is only forty miles off,
  • and there is a cavalry station about thirty miles farther; so Joseph
  • wrote home to his parents, when he took possession of his
  • collectorship. He had lived for about eight years of his life, quite
  • alone, at this charming place, scarcely seeing a Christian face except
  • twice a year, when the detachment arrived to carry off the revenues
  • which he had collected, to Calcutta.
  • Luckily, at this time he caught a liver complaint, for the cure of
  • which he returned to Europe, and which was the source of great comfort
  • and amusement to him in his native country. He did not live with his
  • family while in London, but had lodgings of his own, like a gay young
  • bachelor. Before he went to India he was too young to partake of the
  • delightful pleasures of a man about town, and plunged into them on his
  • return with considerable assiduity. He drove his horses in the Park;
  • he dined at the fashionable taverns (for the Oriental Club was not as
  • yet invented); he frequented the theatres, as the mode was in those
  • days, or made his appearance at the opera, laboriously attired in
  • tights and a cocked hat.
  • On returning to India, and ever after, he used to talk of the pleasure
  • of this period of his existence with great enthusiasm, and give you to
  • understand that he and Brummel were the leading bucks of the day. But
  • he was as lonely here as in his jungle at Boggley Wollah. He scarcely
  • knew a single soul in the metropolis: and were it not for his doctor,
  • and the society of his blue-pill, and his liver complaint, he must have
  • died of loneliness. He was lazy, peevish, and a bon-vivant; the
  • appearance of a lady frightened him beyond measure; hence it was but
  • seldom that he joined the paternal circle in Russell Square, where
  • there was plenty of gaiety, and where the jokes of his good-natured old
  • father frightened his amour-propre. His bulk caused Joseph much
  • anxious thought and alarm; now and then he would make a desperate
  • attempt to get rid of his superabundant fat; but his indolence and love
  • of good living speedily got the better of these endeavours at reform,
  • and he found himself again at his three meals a day. He never was well
  • dressed; but he took the hugest pains to adorn his big person, and
  • passed many hours daily in that occupation. His valet made a fortune
  • out of his wardrobe: his toilet-table was covered with as many pomatums
  • and essences as ever were employed by an old beauty: he had tried, in
  • order to give himself a waist, every girth, stay, and waistband then
  • invented. Like most fat men, he would have his clothes made too tight,
  • and took care they should be of the most brilliant colours and youthful
  • cut. When dressed at length, in the afternoon, he would issue forth to
  • take a drive with nobody in the Park; and then would come back in order
  • to dress again and go and dine with nobody at the Piazza Coffee-House.
  • He was as vain as a girl; and perhaps his extreme shyness was one of
  • the results of his extreme vanity. If Miss Rebecca can get the better
  • of him, and at her first entrance into life, she is a young person of
  • no ordinary cleverness.
  • The first move showed considerable skill. When she called Sedley a
  • very handsome man, she knew that Amelia would tell her mother, who
  • would probably tell Joseph, or who, at any rate, would be pleased by
  • the compliment paid to her son. All mothers are. If you had told
  • Sycorax that her son Caliban was as handsome as Apollo, she would have
  • been pleased, witch as she was. Perhaps, too, Joseph Sedley would
  • overhear the compliment--Rebecca spoke loud enough--and he did hear,
  • and (thinking in his heart that he was a very fine man) the praise
  • thrilled through every fibre of his big body, and made it tingle with
  • pleasure. Then, however, came a recoil. "Is the girl making fun of
  • me?" he thought, and straightway he bounced towards the bell, and was
  • for retreating, as we have seen, when his father's jokes and his
  • mother's entreaties caused him to pause and stay where he was. He
  • conducted the young lady down to dinner in a dubious and agitated frame
  • of mind. "Does she really think I am handsome?" thought he, "or is she
  • only making game of me?" We have talked of Joseph Sedley being as vain
  • as a girl. Heaven help us! the girls have only to turn the tables, and
  • say of one of their own sex, "She is as vain as a man," and they will
  • have perfect reason. The bearded creatures are quite as eager for
  • praise, quite as finikin over their toilettes, quite as proud of their
  • personal advantages, quite as conscious of their powers of fascination,
  • as any coquette in the world.
  • Downstairs, then, they went, Joseph very red and blushing, Rebecca very
  • modest, and holding her green eyes downwards. She was dressed in
  • white, with bare shoulders as white as snow--the picture of youth,
  • unprotected innocence, and humble virgin simplicity. "I must be very
  • quiet," thought Rebecca, "and very much interested about India."
  • Now we have heard how Mrs. Sedley had prepared a fine curry for her
  • son, just as he liked it, and in the course of dinner a portion of this
  • dish was offered to Rebecca. "What is it?" said she, turning an
  • appealing look to Mr. Joseph.
  • "Capital," said he. His mouth was full of it: his face quite red with
  • the delightful exercise of gobbling. "Mother, it's as good as my own
  • curries in India."
  • "Oh, I must try some, if it is an Indian dish," said Miss Rebecca. "I
  • am sure everything must be good that comes from there."
  • "Give Miss Sharp some curry, my dear," said Mr. Sedley, laughing.
  • Rebecca had never tasted the dish before.
  • "Do you find it as good as everything else from India?" said Mr. Sedley.
  • "Oh, excellent!" said Rebecca, who was suffering tortures with the
  • cayenne pepper.
  • "Try a chili with it, Miss Sharp," said Joseph, really interested.
  • "A chili," said Rebecca, gasping. "Oh yes!" She thought a chili was
  • something cool, as its name imported, and was served with some. "How
  • fresh and green they look," she said, and put one into her mouth. It
  • was hotter than the curry; flesh and blood could bear it no longer.
  • She laid down her fork. "Water, for Heaven's sake, water!" she cried.
  • Mr. Sedley burst out laughing (he was a coarse man, from the Stock
  • Exchange, where they love all sorts of practical jokes). "They are
  • real Indian, I assure you," said he. "Sambo, give Miss Sharp some
  • water."
  • The paternal laugh was echoed by Joseph, who thought the joke capital.
  • The ladies only smiled a little. They thought poor Rebecca suffered
  • too much. She would have liked to choke old Sedley, but she swallowed
  • her mortification as well as she had the abominable curry before it,
  • and as soon as she could speak, said, with a comical, good-humoured
  • air, "I ought to have remembered the pepper which the Princess of
  • Persia puts in the cream-tarts in the Arabian Nights. Do you put
  • cayenne into your cream-tarts in India, sir?"
  • Old Sedley began to laugh, and thought Rebecca was a good-humoured
  • girl. Joseph simply said, "Cream-tarts, Miss? Our cream is very bad in
  • Bengal. We generally use goats' milk; and, 'gad, do you know, I've got
  • to prefer it!"
  • "You won't like EVERYTHING from India now, Miss Sharp," said the old
  • gentleman; but when the ladies had retired after dinner, the wily old
  • fellow said to his son, "Have a care, Joe; that girl is setting her cap
  • at you."
  • "Pooh! nonsense!" said Joe, highly flattered. "I recollect, sir, there
  • was a girl at Dumdum, a daughter of Cutler of the Artillery, and
  • afterwards married to Lance, the surgeon, who made a dead set at me in
  • the year '4--at me and Mulligatawney, whom I mentioned to you before
  • dinner--a devilish good fellow Mulligatawney--he's a magistrate at
  • Budgebudge, and sure to be in council in five years. Well, sir, the
  • Artillery gave a ball, and Quintin, of the King's 14th, said to me,
  • 'Sedley,' said he, 'I bet you thirteen to ten that Sophy Cutler hooks
  • either you or Mulligatawney before the rains.' 'Done,' says I; and
  • egad, sir--this claret's very good. Adamson's or Carbonell's?"
  • A slight snore was the only reply: the honest stockbroker was asleep,
  • and so the rest of Joseph's story was lost for that day. But he was
  • always exceedingly communicative in a man's party, and has told this
  • delightful tale many scores of times to his apothecary, Dr. Gollop,
  • when he came to inquire about the liver and the blue-pill.
  • Being an invalid, Joseph Sedley contented himself with a bottle of
  • claret besides his Madeira at dinner, and he managed a couple of plates
  • full of strawberries and cream, and twenty-four little rout cakes that
  • were lying neglected in a plate near him, and certainly (for novelists
  • have the privilege of knowing everything) he thought a great deal about
  • the girl upstairs. "A nice, gay, merry young creature," thought he to
  • himself. "How she looked at me when I picked up her handkerchief at
  • dinner! She dropped it twice. Who's that singing in the drawing-room?
  • 'Gad! shall I go up and see?"
  • But his modesty came rushing upon him with uncontrollable force. His
  • father was asleep: his hat was in the hall: there was a hackney-coach
  • standing hard by in Southampton Row. "I'll go and see the Forty
  • Thieves," said he, "and Miss Decamp's dance"; and he slipped away
  • gently on the pointed toes of his boots, and disappeared, without
  • waking his worthy parent.
  • "There goes Joseph," said Amelia, who was looking from the open windows
  • of the drawing-room, while Rebecca was singing at the piano.
  • "Miss Sharp has frightened him away," said Mrs. Sedley. "Poor Joe, why
  • WILL he be so shy?"
  • CHAPTER IV
  • The Green Silk Purse
  • Poor Joe's panic lasted for two or three days; during which he did not
  • visit the house, nor during that period did Miss Rebecca ever mention
  • his name. She was all respectful gratitude to Mrs. Sedley; delighted
  • beyond measure at the Bazaars; and in a whirl of wonder at the theatre,
  • whither the good-natured lady took her. One day, Amelia had a
  • headache, and could not go upon some party of pleasure to which the two
  • young people were invited: nothing could induce her friend to go
  • without her. "What! you who have shown the poor orphan what happiness
  • and love are for the first time in her life--quit YOU? Never!" and
  • the green eyes looked up to Heaven and filled with tears; and Mrs.
  • Sedley could not but own that her daughter's friend had a charming kind
  • heart of her own.
  • As for Mr. Sedley's jokes, Rebecca laughed at them with a cordiality
  • and perseverance which not a little pleased and softened that
  • good-natured gentleman. Nor was it with the chiefs of the family alone
  • that Miss Sharp found favour. She interested Mrs. Blenkinsop by
  • evincing the deepest sympathy in the raspberry-jam preserving, which
  • operation was then going on in the Housekeeper's room; she persisted in
  • calling Sambo "Sir," and "Mr. Sambo," to the delight of that attendant;
  • and she apologised to the lady's maid for giving her trouble in
  • venturing to ring the bell, with such sweetness and humility, that the
  • Servants' Hall was almost as charmed with her as the Drawing Room.
  • Once, in looking over some drawings which Amelia had sent from school,
  • Rebecca suddenly came upon one which caused her to burst into tears and
  • leave the room. It was on the day when Joe Sedley made his second
  • appearance.
  • Amelia hastened after her friend to know the cause of this display of
  • feeling, and the good-natured girl came back without her companion,
  • rather affected too. "You know, her father was our drawing-master,
  • Mamma, at Chiswick, and used to do all the best parts of our drawings."
  • "My love! I'm sure I always heard Miss Pinkerton say that he did not
  • touch them--he only mounted them." "It was called mounting, Mamma.
  • Rebecca remembers the drawing, and her father working at it, and the
  • thought of it came upon her rather suddenly--and so, you know, she--"
  • "The poor child is all heart," said Mrs. Sedley.
  • "I wish she could stay with us another week," said Amelia.
  • "She's devilish like Miss Cutler that I used to meet at Dumdum, only
  • fairer. She's married now to Lance, the Artillery Surgeon. Do you
  • know, Ma'am, that once Quintin, of the 14th, bet me--"
  • "O Joseph, we know that story," said Amelia, laughing. "Never mind about
  • telling that; but persuade Mamma to write to Sir Something Crawley for
  • leave of absence for poor dear Rebecca: here she comes, her eyes red
  • with weeping."
  • "I'm better, now," said the girl, with the sweetest smile possible,
  • taking good-natured Mrs. Sedley's extended hand and kissing it
  • respectfully. "How kind you all are to me! All," she added, with a
  • laugh, "except you, Mr. Joseph."
  • "Me!" said Joseph, meditating an instant departure. "Gracious Heavens!
  • Good Gad! Miss Sharp!'
  • "Yes; how could you be so cruel as to make me eat that horrid
  • pepper-dish at dinner, the first day I ever saw you? You are not so
  • good to me as dear Amelia."
  • "He doesn't know you so well," cried Amelia.
  • "I defy anybody not to be good to you, my dear," said her mother.
  • "The curry was capital; indeed it was," said Joe, quite gravely.
  • "Perhaps there was NOT enough citron juice in it--no, there was NOT."
  • "And the chilis?"
  • "By Jove, how they made you cry out!" said Joe, caught by the ridicule
  • of the circumstance, and exploding in a fit of laughter which ended
  • quite suddenly, as usual.
  • "I shall take care how I let YOU choose for me another time," said
  • Rebecca, as they went down again to dinner. "I didn't think men were
  • fond of putting poor harmless girls to pain."
  • "By Gad, Miss Rebecca, I wouldn't hurt you for the world."
  • "No," said she, "I KNOW you wouldn't"; and then she gave him ever so
  • gentle a pressure with her little hand, and drew it back quite
  • frightened, and looked first for one instant in his face, and then down
  • at the carpet-rods; and I am not prepared to say that Joe's heart did
  • not thump at this little involuntary, timid, gentle motion of regard on
  • the part of the simple girl.
  • It was an advance, and as such, perhaps, some ladies of indisputable
  • correctness and gentility will condemn the action as immodest; but, you
  • see, poor dear Rebecca had all this work to do for herself. If a
  • person is too poor to keep a servant, though ever so elegant, he must
  • sweep his own rooms: if a dear girl has no dear Mamma to settle matters
  • with the young man, she must do it for herself. And oh, what a mercy
  • it is that these women do not exercise their powers oftener! We can't
  • resist them, if they do. Let them show ever so little inclination, and
  • men go down on their knees at once: old or ugly, it is all the same.
  • And this I set down as a positive truth. A woman with fair
  • opportunities, and without an absolute hump, may marry WHOM SHE LIKES.
  • Only let us be thankful that the darlings are like the beasts of the
  • field, and don't know their own power. They would overcome us entirely
  • if they did.
  • "Egad!" thought Joseph, entering the dining-room, "I exactly begin to
  • feel as I did at Dumdum with Miss Cutler." Many sweet little appeals,
  • half tender, half jocular, did Miss Sharp make to him about the dishes
  • at dinner; for by this time she was on a footing of considerable
  • familiarity with the family, and as for the girls, they loved each
  • other like sisters. Young unmarried girls always do, if they are in a
  • house together for ten days.
  • As if bent upon advancing Rebecca's plans in every way--what must
  • Amelia do, but remind her brother of a promise made last Easter
  • holidays--"When I was a girl at school," said she, laughing--a promise
  • that he, Joseph, would take her to Vauxhall. "Now," she said, "that
  • Rebecca is with us, will be the very time."
  • "O, delightful!" said Rebecca, going to clap her hands; but she
  • recollected herself, and paused, like a modest creature, as she was.
  • "To-night is not the night," said Joe.
  • "Well, to-morrow."
  • "To-morrow your Papa and I dine out," said Mrs. Sedley.
  • "You don't suppose that I'm going, Mrs. Sed?" said her husband, "and
  • that a woman of your years and size is to catch cold, in such an
  • abominable damp place?"
  • "The children must have someone with them," cried Mrs. Sedley.
  • "Let Joe go," said-his father, laughing. "He's big enough." At which
  • speech even Mr. Sambo at the sideboard burst out laughing, and poor fat
  • Joe felt inclined to become a parricide almost.
  • "Undo his stays!" continued the pitiless old gentleman. "Fling some
  • water in his face, Miss Sharp, or carry him upstairs: the dear
  • creature's fainting. Poor victim! carry him up; he's as light as a
  • feather!"
  • "If I stand this, sir, I'm d------!" roared Joseph.
  • "Order Mr. Jos's elephant, Sambo!" cried the father. "Send to Exeter
  • 'Change, Sambo"; but seeing Jos ready almost to cry with vexation, the
  • old joker stopped his laughter, and said, holding out his hand to his
  • son, "It's all fair on the Stock Exchange, Jos--and, Sambo, never mind
  • the elephant, but give me and Mr. Jos a glass of Champagne. Boney
  • himself hasn't got such in his cellar, my boy!"
  • A goblet of Champagne restored Joseph's equanimity, and before the
  • bottle was emptied, of which as an invalid he took two-thirds, he had
  • agreed to take the young ladies to Vauxhall.
  • "The girls must have a gentleman apiece," said the old gentleman. "Jos
  • will be sure to leave Emmy in the crowd, he will be so taken up with
  • Miss Sharp here. Send to 96, and ask George Osborne if he'll come."
  • At this, I don't know in the least for what reason, Mrs. Sedley looked
  • at her husband and laughed. Mr. Sedley's eyes twinkled in a manner
  • indescribably roguish, and he looked at Amelia; and Amelia, hanging
  • down her head, blushed as only young ladies of seventeen know how to
  • blush, and as Miss Rebecca Sharp never blushed in her life--at least
  • not since she was eight years old, and when she was caught stealing jam
  • out of a cupboard by her godmother. "Amelia had better write a note,"
  • said her father; "and let George Osborne see what a beautiful
  • handwriting we have brought back from Miss Pinkerton's. Do you
  • remember when you wrote to him to come on Twelfth-night, Emmy, and
  • spelt twelfth without the f?"
  • "That was years ago," said Amelia.
  • "It seems like yesterday, don't it, John?" said Mrs. Sedley to her
  • husband; and that night in a conversation which took place in a front
  • room in the second floor, in a sort of tent, hung round with chintz of
  • a rich and fantastic India pattern, and double with calico of a tender
  • rose-colour; in the interior of which species of marquee was a
  • featherbed, on which were two pillows, on which were two round red
  • faces, one in a laced nightcap, and one in a simple cotton one, ending
  • in a tassel--in a CURTAIN LECTURE, I say, Mrs. Sedley took her husband
  • to task for his cruel conduct to poor Joe.
  • "It was quite wicked of you, Mr. Sedley," said she, "to torment the
  • poor boy so."
  • "My dear," said the cotton-tassel in defence of his conduct, "Jos is a
  • great deal vainer than you ever were in your life, and that's saying a
  • good deal. Though, some thirty years ago, in the year seventeen
  • hundred and eighty--what was it?--perhaps you had a right to be vain--I
  • don't say no. But I've no patience with Jos and his dandified modesty.
  • It is out-Josephing Joseph, my dear, and all the while the boy is only
  • thinking of himself, and what a fine fellow he is. I doubt, Ma'am, we
  • shall have some trouble with him yet. Here is Emmy's little friend
  • making love to him as hard as she can; that's quite clear; and if she
  • does not catch him some other will. That man is destined to be a prey
  • to woman, as I am to go on 'Change every day. It's a mercy he did not
  • bring us over a black daughter-in-law, my dear. But, mark my words,
  • the first woman who fishes for him, hooks him."
  • "She shall go off to-morrow, the little artful creature," said Mrs.
  • Sedley, with great energy.
  • "Why not she as well as another, Mrs. Sedley? The girl's a white face
  • at any rate. I don't care who marries him. Let Joe please himself."
  • And presently the voices of the two speakers were hushed, or were
  • replaced by the gentle but unromantic music of the nose; and save when
  • the church bells tolled the hour and the watchman called it, all was
  • silent at the house of John Sedley, Esquire, of Russell Square, and the
  • Stock Exchange.
  • When morning came, the good-natured Mrs. Sedley no longer thought of
  • executing her threats with regard to Miss Sharp; for though nothing is
  • more keen, nor more common, nor more justifiable, than maternal
  • jealousy, yet she could not bring herself to suppose that the little,
  • humble, grateful, gentle governess would dare to look up to such a
  • magnificent personage as the Collector of Boggley Wollah. The petition,
  • too, for an extension of the young lady's leave of absence had already
  • been despatched, and it would be difficult to find a pretext for
  • abruptly dismissing her.
  • And as if all things conspired in favour of the gentle Rebecca, the
  • very elements (although she was not inclined at first to acknowledge
  • their action in her behalf) interposed to aid her. For on the evening
  • appointed for the Vauxhall party, George Osborne having come to dinner,
  • and the elders of the house having departed, according to invitation,
  • to dine with Alderman Balls at Highbury Barn, there came on such a
  • thunder-storm as only happens on Vauxhall nights, and as obliged the
  • young people, perforce, to remain at home. Mr. Osborne did not seem in
  • the least disappointed at this occurrence. He and Joseph Sedley drank a
  • fitting quantity of port-wine, tete-a-tete, in the dining-room, during
  • the drinking of which Sedley told a number of his best Indian stories;
  • for he was extremely talkative in man's society; and afterwards Miss
  • Amelia Sedley did the honours of the drawing-room; and these four young
  • persons passed such a comfortable evening together, that they declared
  • they were rather glad of the thunder-storm than otherwise, which had
  • caused them to put off their visit to Vauxhall.
  • Osborne was Sedley's godson, and had been one of the family any time
  • these three-and-twenty years. At six weeks old, he had received from
  • John Sedley a present of a silver cup; at six months old, a coral with
  • gold whistle and bells; from his youth upwards he was "tipped"
  • regularly by the old gentleman at Christmas: and on going back to
  • school, he remembered perfectly well being thrashed by Joseph Sedley,
  • when the latter was a big, swaggering hobbadyhoy, and George an
  • impudent urchin of ten years old. In a word, George was as familiar
  • with the family as such daily acts of kindness and intercourse could
  • make him.
  • "Do you remember, Sedley, what a fury you were in, when I cut off the
  • tassels of your Hessian boots, and how Miss--hem!--how Amelia rescued
  • me from a beating, by falling down on her knees and crying out to her
  • brother Jos, not to beat little George?"
  • Jos remembered this remarkable circumstance perfectly well, but vowed
  • that he had totally forgotten it.
  • "Well, do you remember coming down in a gig to Dr. Swishtail's to see
  • me, before you went to India, and giving me half a guinea and a pat on
  • the head? I always had an idea that you were at least seven feet high,
  • and was quite astonished at your return from India to find you no
  • taller than myself."
  • "How good of Mr. Sedley to go to your school and give you the money!"
  • exclaimed Rebecca, in accents of extreme delight.
  • "Yes, and after I had cut the tassels of his boots too. Boys never
  • forget those tips at school, nor the givers."
  • "I delight in Hessian boots," said Rebecca. Jos Sedley, who admired
  • his own legs prodigiously, and always wore this ornamental chaussure,
  • was extremely pleased at this remark, though he drew his legs under his
  • chair as it was made.
  • "Miss Sharp!" said George Osborne, "you who are so clever an artist,
  • you must make a grand historical picture of the scene of the boots.
  • Sedley shall be represented in buckskins, and holding one of the
  • injured boots in one hand; by the other he shall have hold of my
  • shirt-frill. Amelia shall be kneeling near him, with her little hands
  • up; and the picture shall have a grand allegorical title, as the
  • frontispieces have in the Medulla and the spelling-book."
  • "I shan't have time to do it here," said Rebecca. "I'll do it
  • when--when I'm gone." And she dropped her voice, and looked so sad and
  • piteous, that everybody felt how cruel her lot was, and how sorry they
  • would be to part with her.
  • "O that you could stay longer, dear Rebecca," said Amelia.
  • "Why?" answered the other, still more sadly. "That I may be only the
  • more unhap--unwilling to lose you?" And she turned away her head.
  • Amelia began to give way to that natural infirmity of tears which, we
  • have said, was one of the defects of this silly little thing. George
  • Osborne looked at the two young women with a touched curiosity; and
  • Joseph Sedley heaved something very like a sigh out of his big chest,
  • as he cast his eyes down towards his favourite Hessian boots.
  • "Let us have some music, Miss Sedley--Amelia," said George, who felt at
  • that moment an extraordinary, almost irresistible impulse to seize the
  • above-mentioned young woman in his arms, and to kiss her in the face of
  • the company; and she looked at him for a moment, and if I should say
  • that they fell in love with each other at that single instant of time,
  • I should perhaps be telling an untruth, for the fact is that these two
  • young people had been bred up by their parents for this very purpose,
  • and their banns had, as it were, been read in their respective families
  • any time these ten years. They went off to the piano, which was
  • situated, as pianos usually are, in the back drawing-room; and as it
  • was rather dark, Miss Amelia, in the most unaffected way in the world,
  • put her hand into Mr. Osborne's, who, of course, could see the way
  • among the chairs and ottomans a great deal better than she could. But
  • this arrangement left Mr. Joseph Sedley tete-a-tete with Rebecca, at
  • the drawing-room table, where the latter was occupied in knitting a
  • green silk purse.
  • "There is no need to ask family secrets," said Miss Sharp. "Those two
  • have told theirs."
  • "As soon as he gets his company," said Joseph, "I believe the affair is
  • settled. George Osborne is a capital fellow."
  • "And your sister the dearest creature in the world," said Rebecca.
  • "Happy the man who wins her!" With this, Miss Sharp gave a great sigh.
  • When two unmarried persons get together, and talk upon such delicate
  • subjects as the present, a great deal of confidence and intimacy is
  • presently established between them. There is no need of giving a
  • special report of the conversation which now took place between Mr.
  • Sedley and the young lady; for the conversation, as may be judged from
  • the foregoing specimen, was not especially witty or eloquent; it seldom
  • is in private societies, or anywhere except in very high-flown and
  • ingenious novels. As there was music in the next room, the talk was
  • carried on, of course, in a low and becoming tone, though, for the
  • matter of that, the couple in the next apartment would not have been
  • disturbed had the talking been ever so loud, so occupied were they with
  • their own pursuits.
  • Almost for the first time in his life, Mr. Sedley found himself
  • talking, without the least timidity or hesitation, to a person of the
  • other sex. Miss Rebecca asked him a great number of questions about
  • India, which gave him an opportunity of narrating many interesting
  • anecdotes about that country and himself. He described the balls at
  • Government House, and the manner in which they kept themselves cool in
  • the hot weather, with punkahs, tatties, and other contrivances; and he
  • was very witty regarding the number of Scotchmen whom Lord Minto, the
  • Governor-General, patronised; and then he described a tiger-hunt; and
  • the manner in which the mahout of his elephant had been pulled off his
  • seat by one of the infuriated animals. How delighted Miss Rebecca was
  • at the Government balls, and how she laughed at the stories of the
  • Scotch aides-de-camp, and called Mr. Sedley a sad wicked satirical
  • creature; and how frightened she was at the story of the elephant! "For
  • your mother's sake, dear Mr. Sedley," she said, "for the sake of all
  • your friends, promise NEVER to go on one of those horrid expeditions."
  • "Pooh, pooh, Miss Sharp," said he, pulling up his shirt-collars; "the
  • danger makes the sport only the pleasanter." He had never been but once
  • at a tiger-hunt, when the accident in question occurred, and when he
  • was half killed--not by the tiger, but by the fright. And as he talked
  • on, he grew quite bold, and actually had the audacity to ask Miss
  • Rebecca for whom she was knitting the green silk purse? He was quite
  • surprised and delighted at his own graceful familiar manner.
  • "For any one who wants a purse," replied Miss Rebecca, looking at him
  • in the most gentle winning way. Sedley was going to make one of the
  • most eloquent speeches possible, and had begun--"O Miss Sharp, how--"
  • when some song which was performed in the other room came to an end,
  • and caused him to hear his own voice so distinctly that he stopped,
  • blushed, and blew his nose in great agitation.
  • "Did you ever hear anything like your brother's eloquence?" whispered
  • Mr. Osborne to Amelia. "Why, your friend has worked miracles."
  • "The more the better," said Miss Amelia; who, like almost all women who
  • are worth a pin, was a match-maker in her heart, and would have been
  • delighted that Joseph should carry back a wife to India. She had, too,
  • in the course of this few days' constant intercourse, warmed into a
  • most tender friendship for Rebecca, and discovered a million of virtues
  • and amiable qualities in her which she had not perceived when they were
  • at Chiswick together. For the affection of young ladies is of as rapid
  • growth as Jack's bean-stalk, and reaches up to the sky in a night. It
  • is no blame to them that after marriage this Sehnsucht nach der Liebe
  • subsides. It is what sentimentalists, who deal in very big words, call
  • a yearning after the Ideal, and simply means that women are commonly
  • not satisfied until they have husbands and children on whom they may
  • centre affections, which are spent elsewhere, as it were, in small
  • change.
  • Having expended her little store of songs, or having stayed long enough
  • in the back drawing-room, it now appeared proper to Miss Amelia to ask
  • her friend to sing. "You would not have listened to me," she said to
  • Mr. Osborne (though she knew she was telling a fib), "had you heard
  • Rebecca first."
  • "I give Miss Sharp warning, though," said Osborne, "that, right or
  • wrong, I consider Miss Amelia Sedley the first singer in the world."
  • "You shall hear," said Amelia; and Joseph Sedley was actually polite
  • enough to carry the candles to the piano. Osborne hinted that he should
  • like quite as well to sit in the dark; but Miss Sedley, laughing,
  • declined to bear him company any farther, and the two accordingly
  • followed Mr. Joseph. Rebecca sang far better than her friend (though
  • of course Osborne was free to keep his opinion), and exerted herself to
  • the utmost, and, indeed, to the wonder of Amelia, who had never known
  • her perform so well. She sang a French song, which Joseph did not
  • understand in the least, and which George confessed he did not
  • understand, and then a number of those simple ballads which were the
  • fashion forty years ago, and in which British tars, our King, poor
  • Susan, blue-eyed Mary, and the like, were the principal themes. They
  • are not, it is said, very brilliant, in a musical point of view, but
  • contain numberless good-natured, simple appeals to the affections,
  • which people understood better than the milk-and-water lagrime,
  • sospiri, and felicita of the eternal Donizettian music with which we
  • are favoured now-a-days.
  • Conversation of a sentimental sort, befitting the subject, was carried
  • on between the songs, to which Sambo, after he had brought the tea, the
  • delighted cook, and even Mrs. Blenkinsop, the housekeeper, condescended
  • to listen on the landing-place.
  • Among these ditties was one, the last of the concert, and to the
  • following effect:
  • Ah! bleak and barren was the moor, Ah! loud and piercing was the storm,
  • The cottage roof was shelter'd sure, The cottage hearth was bright and
  • warm--An orphan boy the lattice pass'd, And, as he mark'd its cheerful
  • glow, Felt doubly keen the midnight blast, And doubly cold the fallen
  • snow.
  • They mark'd him as he onward prest, With fainting heart and weary limb;
  • Kind voices bade him turn and rest, And gentle faces welcomed him. The
  • dawn is up--the guest is gone, The cottage hearth is blazing still;
  • Heaven pity all poor wanderers lone! Hark to the wind upon the hill!
  • It was the sentiment of the before-mentioned words, "When I'm gone,"
  • over again. As she came to the last words, Miss Sharp's "deep-toned
  • voice faltered." Everybody felt the allusion to her departure, and to
  • her hapless orphan state. Joseph Sedley, who was fond of music, and
  • soft-hearted, was in a state of ravishment during the performance of
  • the song, and profoundly touched at its conclusion. If he had had the
  • courage; if George and Miss Sedley had remained, according to the
  • former's proposal, in the farther room, Joseph Sedley's bachelorhood
  • would have been at an end, and this work would never have been written.
  • But at the close of the ditty, Rebecca quitted the piano, and giving
  • her hand to Amelia, walked away into the front drawing-room twilight;
  • and, at this moment, Mr. Sambo made his appearance with a tray,
  • containing sandwiches, jellies, and some glittering glasses and
  • decanters, on which Joseph Sedley's attention was immediately fixed.
  • When the parents of the house of Sedley returned from their
  • dinner-party, they found the young people so busy in talking, that they
  • had not heard the arrival of the carriage, and Mr. Joseph was in the
  • act of saying, "My dear Miss Sharp, one little teaspoonful of jelly to
  • recruit you after your immense--your--your delightful exertions."
  • "Bravo, Jos!" said Mr. Sedley; on hearing the bantering of which
  • well-known voice, Jos instantly relapsed into an alarmed silence, and
  • quickly took his departure. He did not lie awake all night thinking
  • whether or not he was in love with Miss Sharp; the passion of love
  • never interfered with the appetite or the slumber of Mr. Joseph Sedley;
  • but he thought to himself how delightful it would be to hear such songs
  • as those after Cutcherry--what a distinguee girl she was--how she could
  • speak French better than the Governor-General's lady herself--and what
  • a sensation she would make at the Calcutta balls. "It's evident the
  • poor devil's in love with me," thought he. "She is just as rich as
  • most of the girls who come out to India. I might go farther, and fare
  • worse, egad!" And in these meditations he fell asleep.
  • How Miss Sharp lay awake, thinking, will he come or not to-morrow? need
  • not be told here. To-morrow came, and, as sure as fate, Mr. Joseph
  • Sedley made his appearance before luncheon. He had never been known
  • before to confer such an honour on Russell Square. George Osborne was
  • somehow there already (sadly "putting out" Amelia, who was writing to
  • her twelve dearest friends at Chiswick Mall), and Rebecca was employed
  • upon her yesterday's work. As Joe's buggy drove up, and while, after
  • his usual thundering knock and pompous bustle at the door, the
  • ex-Collector of Boggley Wollah laboured up stairs to the drawing-room,
  • knowing glances were telegraphed between Osborne and Miss Sedley, and
  • the pair, smiling archly, looked at Rebecca, who actually blushed as
  • she bent her fair ringlets over her knitting. How her heart beat as
  • Joseph appeared--Joseph, puffing from the staircase in shining creaking
  • boots--Joseph, in a new waistcoat, red with heat and nervousness, and
  • blushing behind his wadded neckcloth. It was a nervous moment for all;
  • and as for Amelia, I think she was more frightened than even the people
  • most concerned.
  • Sambo, who flung open the door and announced Mr. Joseph, followed
  • grinning, in the Collector's rear, and bearing two handsome nosegays of
  • flowers, which the monster had actually had the gallantry to purchase
  • in Covent Garden Market that morning--they were not as big as the
  • haystacks which ladies carry about with them now-a-days, in cones of
  • filigree paper; but the young women were delighted with the gift, as
  • Joseph presented one to each, with an exceedingly solemn bow.
  • "Bravo, Jos!" cried Osborne.
  • "Thank you, dear Joseph," said Amelia, quite ready to kiss her brother,
  • if he were so minded. (And I think for a kiss from such a dear
  • creature as Amelia, I would purchase all Mr. Lee's conservatories out
  • of hand.)
  • "O heavenly, heavenly flowers!" exclaimed Miss Sharp, and smelt them
  • delicately, and held them to her bosom, and cast up her eyes to the
  • ceiling, in an ecstasy of admiration. Perhaps she just looked first
  • into the bouquet, to see whether there was a billet-doux hidden among
  • the flowers; but there was no letter.
  • "Do they talk the language of flowers at Boggley Wollah, Sedley?" asked
  • Osborne, laughing.
  • "Pooh, nonsense!" replied the sentimental youth. "Bought 'em at
  • Nathan's; very glad you like 'em; and eh, Amelia, my dear, I bought a
  • pine-apple at the same time, which I gave to Sambo. Let's have it for
  • tiffin; very cool and nice this hot weather." Rebecca said she had
  • never tasted a pine, and longed beyond everything to taste one.
  • So the conversation went on. I don't know on what pretext Osborne left
  • the room, or why, presently, Amelia went away, perhaps to superintend
  • the slicing of the pine-apple; but Jos was left alone with Rebecca, who
  • had resumed her work, and the green silk and the shining needles were
  • quivering rapidly under her white slender fingers.
  • "What a beautiful, BYOO-OOTIFUL song that was you sang last night, dear
  • Miss Sharp," said the Collector. "It made me cry almost; 'pon my
  • honour it did."
  • "Because you have a kind heart, Mr. Joseph; all the Sedleys have, I
  • think."
  • "It kept me awake last night, and I was trying to hum it this morning,
  • in bed; I was, upon my honour. Gollop, my doctor, came in at eleven
  • (for I'm a sad invalid, you know, and see Gollop every day), and, 'gad!
  • there I was, singing away like--a robin."
  • "O you droll creature! Do let me hear you sing it."
  • "Me? No, you, Miss Sharp; my dear Miss Sharp, do sing it." "Not now,
  • Mr. Sedley," said Rebecca, with a sigh. "My spirits are not equal to
  • it; besides, I must finish the purse. Will you help me, Mr. Sedley?"
  • And before he had time to ask how, Mr. Joseph Sedley, of the East India
  • Company's service, was actually seated tete-a-tete with a young lady,
  • looking at her with a most killing expression; his arms stretched out
  • before her in an imploring attitude, and his hands bound in a web of
  • green silk, which she was unwinding.
  • In this romantic position Osborne and Amelia found the interesting
  • pair, when they entered to announce that tiffin was ready. The skein
  • of silk was just wound round the card; but Mr. Jos had never spoken.
  • "I am sure he will to-night, dear," Amelia said, as she pressed
  • Rebecca's hand; and Sedley, too, had communed with his soul, and said
  • to himself, "'Gad, I'll pop the question at Vauxhall."
  • CHAPTER V
  • Dobbin of Ours
  • Cuff's fight with Dobbin, and the unexpected issue of that contest,
  • will long be remembered by every man who was educated at Dr.
  • Swishtail's famous school. The latter Youth (who used to be called
  • Heigh-ho Dobbin, Gee-ho Dobbin, and by many other names indicative of
  • puerile contempt) was the quietest, the clumsiest, and, as it seemed,
  • the dullest of all Dr. Swishtail's young gentlemen. His parent was a
  • grocer in the city: and it was bruited abroad that he was admitted into
  • Dr. Swishtail's academy upon what are called "mutual principles"--that
  • is to say, the expenses of his board and schooling were defrayed by his
  • father in goods, not money; and he stood there--most at the bottom of
  • the school--in his scraggy corduroys and jacket, through the seams of
  • which his great big bones were bursting--as the representative of so
  • many pounds of tea, candles, sugar, mottled-soap, plums (of which a
  • very mild proportion was supplied for the puddings of the
  • establishment), and other commodities. A dreadful day it was for young
  • Dobbin when one of the youngsters of the school, having run into the
  • town upon a poaching excursion for hardbake and polonies, espied the
  • cart of Dobbin & Rudge, Grocers and Oilmen, Thames Street, London, at
  • the Doctor's door, discharging a cargo of the wares in which the firm
  • dealt.
  • Young Dobbin had no peace after that. The jokes were frightful, and
  • merciless against him. "Hullo, Dobbin," one wag would say, "here's
  • good news in the paper. Sugars is ris', my boy." Another would set a
  • sum--"If a pound of mutton-candles cost sevenpence-halfpenny, how much
  • must Dobbin cost?" and a roar would follow from all the circle of young
  • knaves, usher and all, who rightly considered that the selling of goods
  • by retail is a shameful and infamous practice, meriting the contempt
  • and scorn of all real gentlemen.
  • "Your father's only a merchant, Osborne," Dobbin said in private to the
  • little boy who had brought down the storm upon him. At which the
  • latter replied haughtily, "My father's a gentleman, and keeps his
  • carriage"; and Mr. William Dobbin retreated to a remote outhouse in the
  • playground, where he passed a half-holiday in the bitterest sadness and
  • woe. Who amongst us is there that does not recollect similar hours of
  • bitter, bitter childish grief? Who feels injustice; who shrinks before
  • a slight; who has a sense of wrong so acute, and so glowing a gratitude
  • for kindness, as a generous boy? and how many of those gentle souls do
  • you degrade, estrange, torture, for the sake of a little loose
  • arithmetic, and miserable dog-latin?
  • Now, William Dobbin, from an incapacity to acquire the rudiments of the
  • above language, as they are propounded in that wonderful book the Eton
  • Latin Grammar, was compelled to remain among the very last of Doctor
  • Swishtail's scholars, and was "taken down" continually by little
  • fellows with pink faces and pinafores when he marched up with the lower
  • form, a giant amongst them, with his downcast, stupefied look, his
  • dog's-eared primer, and his tight corduroys. High and low, all made
  • fun of him. They sewed up those corduroys, tight as they were. They
  • cut his bed-strings. They upset buckets and benches, so that he might
  • break his shins over them, which he never failed to do. They sent him
  • parcels, which, when opened, were found to contain the paternal soap
  • and candles. There was no little fellow but had his jeer and joke at
  • Dobbin; and he bore everything quite patiently, and was entirely dumb
  • and miserable.
  • Cuff, on the contrary, was the great chief and dandy of the Swishtail
  • Seminary. He smuggled wine in. He fought the town-boys. Ponies used
  • to come for him to ride home on Saturdays. He had his top-boots in his
  • room, in which he used to hunt in the holidays. He had a gold
  • repeater: and took snuff like the Doctor. He had been to the Opera,
  • and knew the merits of the principal actors, preferring Mr. Kean to Mr.
  • Kemble. He could knock you off forty Latin verses in an hour. He
  • could make French poetry. What else didn't he know, or couldn't he do?
  • They said even the Doctor himself was afraid of him.
  • Cuff, the unquestioned king of the school, ruled over his subjects, and
  • bullied them, with splendid superiority. This one blacked his shoes:
  • that toasted his bread, others would fag out, and give him balls at
  • cricket during whole summer afternoons. "Figs" was the fellow whom he
  • despised most, and with whom, though always abusing him, and sneering
  • at him, he scarcely ever condescended to hold personal communication.
  • One day in private, the two young gentlemen had had a difference. Figs,
  • alone in the schoolroom, was blundering over a home letter; when Cuff,
  • entering, bade him go upon some message, of which tarts were probably
  • the subject.
  • "I can't," says Dobbin; "I want to finish my letter."
  • "You CAN'T?" says Mr. Cuff, laying hold of that document (in which many
  • words were scratched out, many were mis-spelt, on which had been spent
  • I don't know how much thought, and labour, and tears; for the poor
  • fellow was writing to his mother, who was fond of him, although she was
  • a grocer's wife, and lived in a back parlour in Thames Street). "You
  • CAN'T?" says Mr. Cuff: "I should like to know why, pray? Can't you
  • write to old Mother Figs to-morrow?"
  • "Don't call names," Dobbin said, getting off the bench very nervous.
  • "Well, sir, will you go?" crowed the cock of the school.
  • "Put down the letter," Dobbin replied; "no gentleman readth letterth."
  • "Well, NOW will you go?" says the other.
  • "No, I won't. Don't strike, or I'll THMASH you," roars out Dobbin,
  • springing to a leaden inkstand, and looking so wicked, that Mr. Cuff
  • paused, turned down his coat sleeves again, put his hands into his
  • pockets, and walked away with a sneer. But he never meddled personally
  • with the grocer's boy after that; though we must do him the justice to
  • say he always spoke of Mr. Dobbin with contempt behind his back.
  • Some time after this interview, it happened that Mr. Cuff, on a
  • sunshiny afternoon, was in the neighbourhood of poor William Dobbin,
  • who was lying under a tree in the playground, spelling over a favourite
  • copy of the Arabian Nights which he had apart from the rest of the
  • school, who were pursuing their various sports--quite lonely, and
  • almost happy. If people would but leave children to themselves; if
  • teachers would cease to bully them; if parents would not insist upon
  • directing their thoughts, and dominating their feelings--those feelings
  • and thoughts which are a mystery to all (for how much do you and I know
  • of each other, of our children, of our fathers, of our neighbour, and
  • how far more beautiful and sacred are the thoughts of the poor lad or
  • girl whom you govern likely to be, than those of the dull and
  • world-corrupted person who rules him?)--if, I say, parents and masters
  • would leave their children alone a little more, small harm would
  • accrue, although a less quantity of as in praesenti might be acquired.
  • Well, William Dobbin had for once forgotten the world, and was away
  • with Sindbad the Sailor in the Valley of Diamonds, or with Prince Ahmed
  • and the Fairy Peribanou in that delightful cavern where the Prince
  • found her, and whither we should all like to make a tour; when shrill
  • cries, as of a little fellow weeping, woke up his pleasant reverie; and
  • looking up, he saw Cuff before him, belabouring a little boy.
  • It was the lad who had peached upon him about the grocer's cart; but he
  • bore little malice, not at least towards the young and small. "How dare
  • you, sir, break the bottle?" says Cuff to the little urchin, swinging a
  • yellow cricket-stump over him.
  • The boy had been instructed to get over the playground wall (at a
  • selected spot where the broken glass had been removed from the top, and
  • niches made convenient in the brick); to run a quarter of a mile; to
  • purchase a pint of rum-shrub on credit; to brave all the Doctor's
  • outlying spies, and to clamber back into the playground again; during
  • the performance of which feat, his foot had slipt, and the bottle was
  • broken, and the shrub had been spilt, and his pantaloons had been
  • damaged, and he appeared before his employer a perfectly guilty and
  • trembling, though harmless, wretch.
  • "How dare you, sir, break it?" says Cuff; "you blundering little thief.
  • You drank the shrub, and now you pretend to have broken the bottle.
  • Hold out your hand, sir."
  • Down came the stump with a great heavy thump on the child's hand. A
  • moan followed. Dobbin looked up. The Fairy Peribanou had fled into the
  • inmost cavern with Prince Ahmed: the Roc had whisked away Sindbad the
  • Sailor out of the Valley of Diamonds out of sight, far into the clouds:
  • and there was everyday life before honest William; and a big boy
  • beating a little one without cause.
  • "Hold out your other hand, sir," roars Cuff to his little schoolfellow,
  • whose face was distorted with pain. Dobbin quivered, and gathered
  • himself up in his narrow old clothes.
  • "Take that, you little devil!" cried Mr. Cuff, and down came the wicket
  • again on the child's hand.--Don't be horrified, ladies, every boy at a
  • public school has done it. Your children will so do and be done by, in
  • all probability. Down came the wicket again; and Dobbin started up.
  • I can't tell what his motive was. Torture in a public school is as
  • much licensed as the knout in Russia. It would be ungentlemanlike (in
  • a manner) to resist it. Perhaps Dobbin's foolish soul revolted against
  • that exercise of tyranny; or perhaps he had a hankering feeling of
  • revenge in his mind, and longed to measure himself against that
  • splendid bully and tyrant, who had all the glory, pride, pomp,
  • circumstance, banners flying, drums beating, guards saluting, in the
  • place. Whatever may have been his incentive, however, up he sprang,
  • and screamed out, "Hold off, Cuff; don't bully that child any more; or
  • I'll--"
  • "Or you'll what?" Cuff asked in amazement at this interruption. "Hold
  • out your hand, you little beast."
  • "I'll give you the worst thrashing you ever had in your life," Dobbin
  • said, in reply to the first part of Cuff's sentence; and little
  • Osborne, gasping and in tears, looked up with wonder and incredulity at
  • seeing this amazing champion put up suddenly to defend him: while
  • Cuff's astonishment was scarcely less. Fancy our late monarch George
  • III when he heard of the revolt of the North American colonies: fancy
  • brazen Goliath when little David stepped forward and claimed a meeting;
  • and you have the feelings of Mr. Reginald Cuff when this rencontre was
  • proposed to him.
  • "After school," says he, of course; after a pause and a look, as much
  • as to say, "Make your will, and communicate your last wishes to your
  • friends between this time and that."
  • "As you please," Dobbin said. "You must be my bottle holder, Osborne."
  • "Well, if you like," little Osborne replied; for you see his papa kept
  • a carriage, and he was rather ashamed of his champion.
  • Yes, when the hour of battle came, he was almost ashamed to say, "Go
  • it, Figs"; and not a single other boy in the place uttered that cry for
  • the first two or three rounds of this famous combat; at the
  • commencement of which the scientific Cuff, with a contemptuous smile on
  • his face, and as light and as gay as if he was at a ball, planted his
  • blows upon his adversary, and floored that unlucky champion three times
  • running. At each fall there was a cheer; and everybody was anxious to
  • have the honour of offering the conqueror a knee.
  • "What a licking I shall get when it's over," young Osborne thought,
  • picking up his man. "You'd best give in," he said to Dobbin; "it's
  • only a thrashing, Figs, and you know I'm used to it." But Figs, all
  • whose limbs were in a quiver, and whose nostrils were breathing rage,
  • put his little bottle-holder aside, and went in for a fourth time.
  • As he did not in the least know how to parry the blows that were aimed
  • at himself, and Cuff had begun the attack on the three preceding
  • occasions, without ever allowing his enemy to strike, Figs now
  • determined that he would commence the engagement by a charge on his own
  • part; and accordingly, being a left-handed man, brought that arm into
  • action, and hit out a couple of times with all his might--once at Mr.
  • Cuff's left eye, and once on his beautiful Roman nose.
  • Cuff went down this time, to the astonishment of the assembly. "Well
  • hit, by Jove," says little Osborne, with the air of a connoisseur,
  • clapping his man on the back. "Give it him with the left, Figs my boy."
  • Figs's left made terrific play during all the rest of the combat. Cuff
  • went down every time. At the sixth round, there were almost as many
  • fellows shouting out, "Go it, Figs," as there were youths exclaiming,
  • "Go it, Cuff." At the twelfth round the latter champion was all abroad,
  • as the saying is, and had lost all presence of mind and power of attack
  • or defence. Figs, on the contrary, was as calm as a quaker. His face
  • being quite pale, his eyes shining open, and a great cut on his
  • underlip bleeding profusely, gave this young fellow a fierce and
  • ghastly air, which perhaps struck terror into many spectators.
  • Nevertheless, his intrepid adversary prepared to close for the
  • thirteenth time.
  • If I had the pen of a Napier, or a Bell's Life, I should like to
  • describe this combat properly. It was the last charge of the
  • Guard--(that is, it would have been, only Waterloo had not yet taken
  • place)--it was Ney's column breasting the hill of La Haye Sainte,
  • bristling with ten thousand bayonets, and crowned with twenty
  • eagles--it was the shout of the beef-eating British, as leaping down
  • the hill they rushed to hug the enemy in the savage arms of battle--in
  • other words, Cuff coming up full of pluck, but quite reeling and
  • groggy, the Fig-merchant put in his left as usual on his adversary's
  • nose, and sent him down for the last time.
  • "I think that will do for him," Figs said, as his opponent dropped as
  • neatly on the green as I have seen Jack Spot's ball plump into the
  • pocket at billiards; and the fact is, when time was called, Mr.
  • Reginald Cuff was not able, or did not choose, to stand up again.
  • And now all the boys set up such a shout for Figs as would have made
  • you think he had been their darling champion through the whole battle;
  • and as absolutely brought Dr. Swishtail out of his study, curious to
  • know the cause of the uproar. He threatened to flog Figs violently, of
  • course; but Cuff, who had come to himself by this time, and was washing
  • his wounds, stood up and said, "It's my fault, sir--not Figs'--not
  • Dobbin's. I was bullying a little boy; and he served me right." By
  • which magnanimous speech he not only saved his conqueror a whipping,
  • but got back all his ascendancy over the boys which his defeat had
  • nearly cost him.
  • Young Osborne wrote home to his parents an account of the transaction.
  • Sugarcane House, Richmond, March, 18--
  • DEAR MAMA,--I hope you are quite well. I should be much obliged to you
  • to send me a cake and five shillings. There has been a fight here
  • between Cuff & Dobbin. Cuff, you know, was the Cock of the School.
  • They fought thirteen rounds, and Dobbin Licked. So Cuff is now Only
  • Second Cock. The fight was about me. Cuff was licking me for breaking
  • a bottle of milk, and Figs wouldn't stand it. We call him Figs because
  • his father is a Grocer--Figs & Rudge, Thames St., City--I think as he
  • fought for me you ought to buy your Tea & Sugar at his father's. Cuff
  • goes home every Saturday, but can't this, because he has 2 Black Eyes.
  • He has a white Pony to come and fetch him, and a groom in livery on a
  • bay mare. I wish my Papa would let me have a Pony, and I am
  • Your dutiful Son, GEORGE SEDLEY OSBORNE
  • P.S.--Give my love to little Emmy. I am cutting her out a Coach in
  • cardboard. Please not a seed-cake, but a plum-cake.
  • In consequence of Dobbin's victory, his character rose prodigiously in
  • the estimation of all his schoolfellows, and the name of Figs, which
  • had been a byword of reproach, became as respectable and popular a
  • nickname as any other in use in the school. "After all, it's not his
  • fault that his father's a grocer," George Osborne said, who, though a
  • little chap, had a very high popularity among the Swishtail youth; and
  • his opinion was received with great applause. It was voted low to sneer
  • at Dobbin about this accident of birth. "Old Figs" grew to be a name of
  • kindness and endearment; and the sneak of an usher jeered at him no
  • longer.
  • And Dobbin's spirit rose with his altered circumstances. He made
  • wonderful advances in scholastic learning. The superb Cuff himself, at
  • whose condescension Dobbin could only blush and wonder, helped him on
  • with his Latin verses; "coached" him in play-hours: carried him
  • triumphantly out of the little-boy class into the middle-sized form;
  • and even there got a fair place for him. It was discovered, that
  • although dull at classical learning, at mathematics he was uncommonly
  • quick. To the contentment of all he passed third in algebra, and got a
  • French prize-book at the public Midsummer examination. You should have
  • seen his mother's face when Telemaque (that delicious romance) was
  • presented to him by the Doctor in the face of the whole school and the
  • parents and company, with an inscription to Gulielmo Dobbin. All the
  • boys clapped hands in token of applause and sympathy. His blushes, his
  • stumbles, his awkwardness, and the number of feet which he crushed as
  • he went back to his place, who shall describe or calculate? Old Dobbin,
  • his father, who now respected him for the first time, gave him two
  • guineas publicly; most of which he spent in a general tuck-out for the
  • school: and he came back in a tail-coat after the holidays.
  • Dobbin was much too modest a young fellow to suppose that this happy
  • change in all his circumstances arose from his own generous and manly
  • disposition: he chose, from some perverseness, to attribute his good
  • fortune to the sole agency and benevolence of little George Osborne, to
  • whom henceforth he vowed such a love and affection as is only felt by
  • children--such an affection, as we read in the charming fairy-book,
  • uncouth Orson had for splendid young Valentine his conqueror. He flung
  • himself down at little Osborne's feet, and loved him. Even before they
  • were acquainted, he had admired Osborne in secret. Now he was his
  • valet, his dog, his man Friday. He believed Osborne to be the
  • possessor of every perfection, to be the handsomest, the bravest, the
  • most active, the cleverest, the most generous of created boys. He
  • shared his money with him: bought him uncountable presents of knives,
  • pencil-cases, gold seals, toffee, Little Warblers, and romantic books,
  • with large coloured pictures of knights and robbers, in many of which
  • latter you might read inscriptions to George Sedley Osborne, Esquire,
  • from his attached friend William Dobbin--the which tokens of homage
  • George received very graciously, as became his superior merit.
  • So that Lieutenant Osborne, when coming to Russell Square on the day of
  • the Vauxhall party, said to the ladies, "Mrs. Sedley, Ma'am, I hope you
  • have room; I've asked Dobbin of ours to come and dine here, and go with
  • us to Vauxhall. He's almost as modest as Jos."
  • "Modesty! pooh," said the stout gentleman, casting a vainqueur look at
  • Miss Sharp.
  • "He is--but you are incomparably more graceful, Sedley," Osborne added,
  • laughing. "I met him at the Bedford, when I went to look for you; and
  • I told him that Miss Amelia was come home, and that we were all bent on
  • going out for a night's pleasuring; and that Mrs. Sedley had forgiven
  • his breaking the punch-bowl at the child's party. Don't you remember
  • the catastrophe, Ma'am, seven years ago?"
  • "Over Mrs. Flamingo's crimson silk gown," said good-natured Mrs.
  • Sedley. "What a gawky it was! And his sisters are not much more
  • graceful. Lady Dobbin was at Highbury last night with three of them.
  • Such figures! my dears."
  • "The Alderman's very rich, isn't he?" Osborne said archly. "Don't you
  • think one of the daughters would be a good spec for me, Ma'am?"
  • "You foolish creature! Who would take you, I should like to know, with
  • your yellow face?"
  • "Mine a yellow face? Stop till you see Dobbin. Why, he had the yellow
  • fever three times; twice at Nassau, and once at St. Kitts."
  • "Well, well; yours is quite yellow enough for us. Isn't it, Emmy?"
  • Mrs. Sedley said: at which speech Miss Amelia only made a smile and a
  • blush; and looking at Mr. George Osborne's pale interesting
  • countenance, and those beautiful black, curling, shining whiskers,
  • which the young gentleman himself regarded with no ordinary
  • complacency, she thought in her little heart that in His Majesty's
  • army, or in the wide world, there never was such a face or such a hero.
  • "I don't care about Captain Dobbin's complexion," she said, "or about
  • his awkwardness. I shall always like him, I know," her little reason
  • being, that he was the friend and champion of George.
  • "There's not a finer fellow in the service," Osborne said, "nor a
  • better officer, though he is not an Adonis, certainly." And he looked
  • towards the glass himself with much naivete; and in so doing, caught
  • Miss Sharp's eye fixed keenly upon him, at which he blushed a little,
  • and Rebecca thought in her heart, "Ah, mon beau Monsieur! I think I
  • have YOUR gauge"--the little artful minx!
  • That evening, when Amelia came tripping into the drawing-room in a
  • white muslin frock, prepared for conquest at Vauxhall, singing like a
  • lark, and as fresh as a rose--a very tall ungainly gentleman, with
  • large hands and feet, and large ears, set off by a closely cropped head
  • of black hair, and in the hideous military frogged coat and cocked hat
  • of those times, advanced to meet her, and made her one of the clumsiest
  • bows that was ever performed by a mortal.
  • This was no other than Captain William Dobbin, of His Majesty's
  • Regiment of Foot, returned from yellow fever, in the West Indies, to
  • which the fortune of the service had ordered his regiment, whilst so
  • many of his gallant comrades were reaping glory in the Peninsula.
  • He had arrived with a knock so very timid and quiet that it was
  • inaudible to the ladies upstairs: otherwise, you may be sure Miss
  • Amelia would never have been so bold as to come singing into the room.
  • As it was, the sweet fresh little voice went right into the Captain's
  • heart, and nestled there. When she held out her hand for him to shake,
  • before he enveloped it in his own, he paused, and thought--"Well, is it
  • possible--are you the little maid I remember in the pink frock, such a
  • short time ago--the night I upset the punch-bowl, just after I was
  • gazetted? Are you the little girl that George Osborne said should marry
  • him? What a blooming young creature you seem, and what a prize the
  • rogue has got!" All this he thought, before he took Amelia's hand into
  • his own, and as he let his cocked hat fall.
  • His history since he left school, until the very moment when we have
  • the pleasure of meeting him again, although not fully narrated, has
  • yet, I think, been indicated sufficiently for an ingenious reader by
  • the conversation in the last page. Dobbin, the despised grocer, was
  • Alderman Dobbin--Alderman Dobbin was Colonel of the City Light Horse,
  • then burning with military ardour to resist the French Invasion.
  • Colonel Dobbin's corps, in which old Mr. Osborne himself was but an
  • indifferent corporal, had been reviewed by the Sovereign and the Duke
  • of York; and the colonel and alderman had been knighted. His son had
  • entered the army: and young Osborne followed presently in the same
  • regiment. They had served in the West Indies and in Canada. Their
  • regiment had just come home, and the attachment of Dobbin to George
  • Osborne was as warm and generous now as it had been when the two were
  • schoolboys.
  • So these worthy people sat down to dinner presently. They talked about
  • war and glory, and Boney and Lord Wellington, and the last Gazette. In
  • those famous days every gazette had a victory in it, and the two
  • gallant young men longed to see their own names in the glorious list,
  • and cursed their unlucky fate to belong to a regiment which had been
  • away from the chances of honour. Miss Sharp kindled with this exciting
  • talk, but Miss Sedley trembled and grew quite faint as she heard it.
  • Mr. Jos told several of his tiger-hunting stories, finished the one
  • about Miss Cutler and Lance the surgeon; helped Rebecca to everything
  • on the table, and himself gobbled and drank a great deal.
  • He sprang to open the door for the ladies, when they retired, with the
  • most killing grace--and coming back to the table, filled himself bumper
  • after bumper of claret, which he swallowed with nervous rapidity.
  • "He's priming himself," Osborne whispered to Dobbin, and at length the
  • hour and the carriage arrived for Vauxhall.
  • CHAPTER VI
  • Vauxhall
  • I know that the tune I am piping is a very mild one (although there are
  • some terrific chapters coming presently), and must beg the good-natured
  • reader to remember that we are only discoursing at present about a
  • stockbroker's family in Russell Square, who are taking walks, or
  • luncheon, or dinner, or talking and making love as people do in common
  • life, and without a single passionate and wonderful incident to mark
  • the progress of their loves. The argument stands thus--Osborne, in
  • love with Amelia, has asked an old friend to dinner and to
  • Vauxhall--Jos Sedley is in love with Rebecca. Will he marry her? That
  • is the great subject now in hand.
  • We might have treated this subject in the genteel, or in the romantic,
  • or in the facetious manner. Suppose we had laid the scene in Grosvenor
  • Square, with the very same adventures--would not some people have
  • listened? Suppose we had shown how Lord Joseph Sedley fell in love, and
  • the Marquis of Osborne became attached to Lady Amelia, with the full
  • consent of the Duke, her noble father: or instead of the supremely
  • genteel, suppose we had resorted to the entirely low, and described
  • what was going on in Mr. Sedley's kitchen--how black Sambo was in love
  • with the cook (as indeed he was), and how he fought a battle with the
  • coachman in her behalf; how the knife-boy was caught stealing a cold
  • shoulder of mutton, and Miss Sedley's new femme de chambre refused to
  • go to bed without a wax candle; such incidents might be made to provoke
  • much delightful laughter, and be supposed to represent scenes of
  • "life." Or if, on the contrary, we had taken a fancy for the terrible,
  • and made the lover of the new femme de chambre a professional burglar,
  • who bursts into the house with his band, slaughters black Sambo at the
  • feet of his master, and carries off Amelia in her night-dress, not to
  • be let loose again till the third volume, we should easily have
  • constructed a tale of thrilling interest, through the fiery chapters of
  • which the reader should hurry, panting. But my readers must hope for
  • no such romance, only a homely story, and must be content with a
  • chapter about Vauxhall, which is so short that it scarce deserves to be
  • called a chapter at all. And yet it is a chapter, and a very important
  • one too. Are not there little chapters in everybody's life, that seem
  • to be nothing, and yet affect all the rest of the history?
  • Let us then step into the coach with the Russell Square party, and be
  • off to the Gardens. There is barely room between Jos and Miss Sharp,
  • who are on the front seat. Mr. Osborne sitting bodkin opposite,
  • between Captain Dobbin and Amelia.
  • Every soul in the coach agreed that on that night Jos would propose to
  • make Rebecca Sharp Mrs. Sedley. The parents at home had acquiesced in
  • the arrangement, though, between ourselves, old Mr. Sedley had a
  • feeling very much akin to contempt for his son. He said he was vain,
  • selfish, lazy, and effeminate. He could not endure his airs as a man
  • of fashion, and laughed heartily at his pompous braggadocio stories.
  • "I shall leave the fellow half my property," he said; "and he will
  • have, besides, plenty of his own; but as I am perfectly sure that if
  • you, and I, and his sister were to die to-morrow, he would say 'Good
  • Gad!' and eat his dinner just as well as usual, I am not going to make
  • myself anxious about him. Let him marry whom he likes. It's no affair
  • of mine."
  • Amelia, on the other hand, as became a young woman of her prudence and
  • temperament, was quite enthusiastic for the match. Once or twice Jos
  • had been on the point of saying something very important to her, to
  • which she was most willing to lend an ear, but the fat fellow could not
  • be brought to unbosom himself of his great secret, and very much to his
  • sister's disappointment he only rid himself of a large sigh and turned
  • away.
  • This mystery served to keep Amelia's gentle bosom in a perpetual
  • flutter of excitement. If she did not speak with Rebecca on the tender
  • subject, she compensated herself with long and intimate conversations
  • with Mrs. Blenkinsop, the housekeeper, who dropped some hints to the
  • lady's-maid, who may have cursorily mentioned the matter to the cook,
  • who carried the news, I have no doubt, to all the tradesmen, so that
  • Mr. Jos's marriage was now talked of by a very considerable number of
  • persons in the Russell Square world.
  • It was, of course, Mrs. Sedley's opinion that her son would demean
  • himself by a marriage with an artist's daughter. "But, lor', Ma'am,"
  • ejaculated Mrs. Blenkinsop, "we was only grocers when we married Mr.
  • S., who was a stock-broker's clerk, and we hadn't five hundred pounds
  • among us, and we're rich enough now." And Amelia was entirely of this
  • opinion, to which, gradually, the good-natured Mrs. Sedley was brought.
  • Mr. Sedley was neutral. "Let Jos marry whom he likes," he said; "it's
  • no affair of mine. This girl has no fortune; no more had Mrs. Sedley.
  • She seems good-humoured and clever, and will keep him in order,
  • perhaps. Better she, my dear, than a black Mrs. Sedley, and a dozen of
  • mahogany grandchildren."
  • So that everything seemed to smile upon Rebecca's fortunes. She took
  • Jos's arm, as a matter of course, on going to dinner; she had sate by
  • him on the box of his open carriage (a most tremendous "buck" he was,
  • as he sat there, serene, in state, driving his greys), and though
  • nobody said a word on the subject of the marriage, everybody seemed to
  • understand it. All she wanted was the proposal, and ah! how Rebecca
  • now felt the want of a mother!--a dear, tender mother, who would have
  • managed the business in ten minutes, and, in the course of a little
  • delicate confidential conversation, would have extracted the
  • interesting avowal from the bashful lips of the young man!
  • Such was the state of affairs as the carriage crossed Westminster
  • bridge.
  • The party was landed at the Royal Gardens in due time. As the majestic
  • Jos stepped out of the creaking vehicle the crowd gave a cheer for the
  • fat gentleman, who blushed and looked very big and mighty, as he walked
  • away with Rebecca under his arm. George, of course, took charge of
  • Amelia. She looked as happy as a rose-tree in sunshine.
  • "I say, Dobbin," says George, "just look to the shawls and things,
  • there's a good fellow." And so while he paired off with Miss Sedley,
  • and Jos squeezed through the gate into the gardens with Rebecca at his
  • side, honest Dobbin contented himself by giving an arm to the shawls,
  • and by paying at the door for the whole party.
  • He walked very modestly behind them. He was not willing to spoil
  • sport. About Rebecca and Jos he did not care a fig. But he thought
  • Amelia worthy even of the brilliant George Osborne, and as he saw that
  • good-looking couple threading the walks to the girl's delight and
  • wonder, he watched her artless happiness with a sort of fatherly
  • pleasure. Perhaps he felt that he would have liked to have something
  • on his own arm besides a shawl (the people laughed at seeing the gawky
  • young officer carrying this female burthen); but William Dobbin was
  • very little addicted to selfish calculation at all; and so long as his
  • friend was enjoying himself, how should he be discontented? And the
  • truth is, that of all the delights of the Gardens; of the hundred
  • thousand extra lamps, which were always lighted; the fiddlers in cocked
  • hats, who played ravishing melodies under the gilded cockle-shell in
  • the midst of the gardens; the singers, both of comic and sentimental
  • ballads, who charmed the ears there; the country dances, formed by
  • bouncing cockneys and cockneyesses, and executed amidst jumping,
  • thumping and laughter; the signal which announced that Madame Saqui was
  • about to mount skyward on a slack-rope ascending to the stars; the
  • hermit that always sat in the illuminated hermitage; the dark walks, so
  • favourable to the interviews of young lovers; the pots of stout handed
  • about by the people in the shabby old liveries; and the twinkling
  • boxes, in which the happy feasters made-believe to eat slices of almost
  • invisible ham--of all these things, and of the gentle Simpson, that
  • kind smiling idiot, who, I daresay, presided even then over the
  • place--Captain William Dobbin did not take the slightest notice.
  • He carried about Amelia's white cashmere shawl, and having attended
  • under the gilt cockle-shell, while Mrs. Salmon performed the Battle of
  • Borodino (a savage cantata against the Corsican upstart, who had lately
  • met with his Russian reverses)--Mr. Dobbin tried to hum it as he walked
  • away, and found he was humming--the tune which Amelia Sedley sang on
  • the stairs, as she came down to dinner.
  • He burst out laughing at himself; for the truth is, he could sing no
  • better than an owl.
  • It is to be understood, as a matter of course, that our young people,
  • being in parties of two and two, made the most solemn promises to keep
  • together during the evening, and separated in ten minutes afterwards.
  • Parties at Vauxhall always did separate, but 'twas only to meet again
  • at supper-time, when they could talk of their mutual adventures in the
  • interval.
  • What were the adventures of Mr. Osborne and Miss Amelia? That is a
  • secret. But be sure of this--they were perfectly happy, and correct in
  • their behaviour; and as they had been in the habit of being together
  • any time these fifteen years, their tete-a-tete offered no particular
  • novelty.
  • But when Miss Rebecca Sharp and her stout companion lost themselves in
  • a solitary walk, in which there were not above five score more of
  • couples similarly straying, they both felt that the situation was
  • extremely tender and critical, and now or never was the moment Miss
  • Sharp thought, to provoke that declaration which was trembling on the
  • timid lips of Mr. Sedley. They had previously been to the panorama of
  • Moscow, where a rude fellow, treading on Miss Sharp's foot, caused her
  • to fall back with a little shriek into the arms of Mr. Sedley, and this
  • little incident increased the tenderness and confidence of that
  • gentleman to such a degree, that he told her several of his favourite
  • Indian stories over again for, at least, the sixth time.
  • "How I should like to see India!" said Rebecca.
  • "SHOULD you?" said Joseph, with a most killing tenderness; and was no
  • doubt about to follow up this artful interrogatory by a question still
  • more tender (for he puffed and panted a great deal, and Rebecca's hand,
  • which was placed near his heart, could count the feverish pulsations of
  • that organ), when, oh, provoking! the bell rang for the fireworks, and,
  • a great scuffling and running taking place, these interesting lovers
  • were obliged to follow in the stream of people.
  • Captain Dobbin had some thoughts of joining the party at supper: as, in
  • truth, he found the Vauxhall amusements not particularly lively--but he
  • paraded twice before the box where the now united couples were met, and
  • nobody took any notice of him. Covers were laid for four. The mated
  • pairs were prattling away quite happily, and Dobbin knew he was as
  • clean forgotten as if he had never existed in this world.
  • "I should only be de trop," said the Captain, looking at them rather
  • wistfully. "I'd best go and talk to the hermit,"--and so he strolled
  • off out of the hum of men, and noise, and clatter of the banquet, into
  • the dark walk, at the end of which lived that well-known pasteboard
  • Solitary. It wasn't very good fun for Dobbin--and, indeed, to be alone
  • at Vauxhall, I have found, from my own experience, to be one of the
  • most dismal sports ever entered into by a bachelor.
  • The two couples were perfectly happy then in their box: where the most
  • delightful and intimate conversation took place. Jos was in his glory,
  • ordering about the waiters with great majesty. He made the salad; and
  • uncorked the Champagne; and carved the chickens; and ate and drank the
  • greater part of the refreshments on the tables. Finally, he insisted
  • upon having a bowl of rack punch; everybody had rack punch at Vauxhall.
  • "Waiter, rack punch."
  • That bowl of rack punch was the cause of all this history. And why not
  • a bowl of rack punch as well as any other cause? Was not a bowl of
  • prussic acid the cause of Fair Rosamond's retiring from the world? Was
  • not a bowl of wine the cause of the demise of Alexander the Great, or,
  • at least, does not Dr. Lempriere say so?--so did this bowl of rack
  • punch influence the fates of all the principal characters in this
  • "Novel without a Hero," which we are now relating. It influenced their
  • life, although most of them did not taste a drop of it.
  • The young ladies did not drink it; Osborne did not like it; and the
  • consequence was that Jos, that fat gourmand, drank up the whole
  • contents of the bowl; and the consequence of his drinking up the whole
  • contents of the bowl was a liveliness which at first was astonishing,
  • and then became almost painful; for he talked and laughed so loud as to
  • bring scores of listeners round the box, much to the confusion of the
  • innocent party within it; and, volunteering to sing a song (which he
  • did in that maudlin high key peculiar to gentlemen in an inebriated
  • state), he almost drew away the audience who were gathered round the
  • musicians in the gilt scollop-shell, and received from his hearers a
  • great deal of applause.
  • "Brayvo, Fat un!" said one; "Angcore, Daniel Lambert!" said another;
  • "What a figure for the tight-rope!" exclaimed another wag, to the
  • inexpressible alarm of the ladies, and the great anger of Mr. Osborne.
  • "For Heaven's sake, Jos, let us get up and go," cried that gentleman,
  • and the young women rose.
  • "Stop, my dearest diddle-diddle-darling," shouted Jos, now as bold as a
  • lion, and clasping Miss Rebecca round the waist. Rebecca started, but
  • she could not get away her hand. The laughter outside redoubled. Jos
  • continued to drink, to make love, and to sing; and, winking and waving
  • his glass gracefully to his audience, challenged all or any to come in
  • and take a share of his punch.
  • Mr. Osborne was just on the point of knocking down a gentleman in
  • top-boots, who proposed to take advantage of this invitation, and a
  • commotion seemed to be inevitable, when by the greatest good luck a
  • gentleman of the name of Dobbin, who had been walking about the
  • gardens, stepped up to the box. "Be off, you fools!" said this
  • gentleman--shouldering off a great number of the crowd, who vanished
  • presently before his cocked hat and fierce appearance--and he entered
  • the box in a most agitated state.
  • "Good Heavens! Dobbin, where have you been?" Osborne said, seizing the
  • white cashmere shawl from his friend's arm, and huddling up Amelia in
  • it.--"Make yourself useful, and take charge of Jos here, whilst I take
  • the ladies to the carriage."
  • Jos was for rising to interfere--but a single push from Osborne's
  • finger sent him puffing back into his seat again, and the lieutenant
  • was enabled to remove the ladies in safety. Jos kissed his hand to
  • them as they retreated, and hiccupped out "Bless you! Bless you!" Then,
  • seizing Captain Dobbin's hand, and weeping in the most pitiful way, he
  • confided to that gentleman the secret of his loves. He adored that
  • girl who had just gone out; he had broken her heart, he knew he had, by
  • his conduct; he would marry her next morning at St. George's, Hanover
  • Square; he'd knock up the Archbishop of Canterbury at Lambeth: he
  • would, by Jove! and have him in readiness; and, acting on this hint,
  • Captain Dobbin shrewdly induced him to leave the gardens and hasten to
  • Lambeth Palace, and, when once out of the gates, easily conveyed Mr.
  • Jos Sedley into a hackney-coach, which deposited him safely at his
  • lodgings.
  • George Osborne conducted the girls home in safety: and when the door
  • was closed upon them, and as he walked across Russell Square, laughed
  • so as to astonish the watchman. Amelia looked very ruefully at her
  • friend, as they went up stairs, and kissed her, and went to bed without
  • any more talking.
  • "He must propose to-morrow," thought Rebecca. "He called me his soul's
  • darling, four times; he squeezed my hand in Amelia's presence. He must
  • propose to-morrow." And so thought Amelia, too. And I dare say she
  • thought of the dress she was to wear as bridesmaid, and of the presents
  • which she should make to her nice little sister-in-law, and of a
  • subsequent ceremony in which she herself might play a principal part,
  • &c., and &c., and &c., and &c.
  • Oh, ignorant young creatures! How little do you know the effect of rack
  • punch! What is the rack in the punch, at night, to the rack in the head
  • of a morning? To this truth I can vouch as a man; there is no headache
  • in the world like that caused by Vauxhall punch. Through the lapse of
  • twenty years, I can remember the consequence of two glasses! two
  • wine-glasses! but two, upon the honour of a gentleman; and Joseph
  • Sedley, who had a liver complaint, had swallowed at least a quart of
  • the abominable mixture.
  • That next morning, which Rebecca thought was to dawn upon her fortune,
  • found Sedley groaning in agonies which the pen refuses to describe.
  • Soda-water was not invented yet. Small beer--will it be believed!--was
  • the only drink with which unhappy gentlemen soothed the fever of their
  • previous night's potation. With this mild beverage before him, George
  • Osborne found the ex-Collector of Boggley Wollah groaning on the sofa
  • at his lodgings. Dobbin was already in the room, good-naturedly
  • tending his patient of the night before. The two officers, looking at
  • the prostrate Bacchanalian, and askance at each other, exchanged the
  • most frightful sympathetic grins. Even Sedley's valet, the most solemn
  • and correct of gentlemen, with the muteness and gravity of an
  • undertaker, could hardly keep his countenance in order, as he looked at
  • his unfortunate master.
  • "Mr. Sedley was uncommon wild last night, sir," he whispered in
  • confidence to Osborne, as the latter mounted the stair. "He wanted to
  • fight the 'ackney-coachman, sir. The Capting was obliged to bring him
  • upstairs in his harms like a babby." A momentary smile flickered over
  • Mr. Brush's features as he spoke; instantly, however, they relapsed
  • into their usual unfathomable calm, as he flung open the drawing-room
  • door, and announced "Mr. Hosbin."
  • "How are you, Sedley?" that young wag began, after surveying his
  • victim. "No bones broke? There's a hackney-coachman downstairs with a
  • black eye, and a tied-up head, vowing he'll have the law of you."
  • "What do you mean--law?" Sedley faintly asked.
  • "For thrashing him last night--didn't he, Dobbin? You hit out, sir,
  • like Molyneux. The watchman says he never saw a fellow go down so
  • straight. Ask Dobbin."
  • "You DID have a round with the coachman," Captain Dobbin said, "and
  • showed plenty of fight too."
  • "And that fellow with the white coat at Vauxhall! How Jos drove at him!
  • How the women screamed! By Jove, sir, it did my heart good to see you.
  • I thought you civilians had no pluck; but I'll never get in your way
  • when you are in your cups, Jos."
  • "I believe I'm very terrible, when I'm roused," ejaculated Jos from the
  • sofa, and made a grimace so dreary and ludicrous, that the Captain's
  • politeness could restrain him no longer, and he and Osborne fired off a
  • ringing volley of laughter.
  • Osborne pursued his advantage pitilessly. He thought Jos a milksop. He
  • had been revolving in his mind the marriage question pending between
  • Jos and Rebecca, and was not over well pleased that a member of a
  • family into which he, George Osborne, of the --th, was going to marry,
  • should make a mesalliance with a little nobody--a little upstart
  • governess. "You hit, you poor old fellow!" said Osborne. "You
  • terrible! Why, man, you couldn't stand--you made everybody laugh in the
  • Gardens, though you were crying yourself. You were maudlin, Jos.
  • Don't you remember singing a song?"
  • "A what?" Jos asked.
  • "A sentimental song, and calling Rosa, Rebecca, what's her name,
  • Amelia's little friend--your dearest diddle-diddle-darling?" And this
  • ruthless young fellow, seizing hold of Dobbin's hand, acted over the
  • scene, to the horror of the original performer, and in spite of
  • Dobbin's good-natured entreaties to him to have mercy.
  • "Why should I spare him?" Osborne said to his friend's remonstrances,
  • when they quitted the invalid, leaving him under the hands of Doctor
  • Gollop. "What the deuce right has he to give himself his patronizing
  • airs, and make fools of us at Vauxhall? Who's this little schoolgirl
  • that is ogling and making love to him? Hang it, the family's low enough
  • already, without HER. A governess is all very well, but I'd rather
  • have a lady for my sister-in-law. I'm a liberal man; but I've proper
  • pride, and know my own station: let her know hers. And I'll take down
  • that great hectoring Nabob, and prevent him from being made a greater
  • fool than he is. That's why I told him to look out, lest she brought
  • an action against him."
  • "I suppose you know best," Dobbin said, though rather dubiously. "You
  • always were a Tory, and your family's one of the oldest in England.
  • But--"
  • "Come and see the girls, and make love to Miss Sharp yourself," the
  • lieutenant here interrupted his friend; but Captain Dobbin declined to
  • join Osborne in his daily visit to the young ladies in Russell Square.
  • As George walked down Southampton Row, from Holborn, he laughed as he
  • saw, at the Sedley Mansion, in two different stories two heads on the
  • look-out.
  • The fact is, Miss Amelia, in the drawing-room balcony, was looking very
  • eagerly towards the opposite side of the Square, where Mr. Osborne
  • dwelt, on the watch for the lieutenant himself; and Miss Sharp, from
  • her little bed-room on the second floor, was in observation until Mr.
  • Joseph's great form should heave in sight.
  • "Sister Anne is on the watch-tower," said he to Amelia, "but there's
  • nobody coming"; and laughing and enjoying the joke hugely, he described
  • in the most ludicrous terms to Miss Sedley, the dismal condition of her
  • brother.
  • "I think it's very cruel of you to laugh, George," she said, looking
  • particularly unhappy; but George only laughed the more at her piteous
  • and discomfited mien, persisted in thinking the joke a most diverting
  • one, and when Miss Sharp came downstairs, bantered her with a great
  • deal of liveliness upon the effect of her charms on the fat civilian.
  • "O Miss Sharp! if you could but see him this morning," he
  • said--"moaning in his flowered dressing-gown--writhing on his sofa; if
  • you could but have seen him lolling out his tongue to Gollop the
  • apothecary."
  • "See whom?" said Miss Sharp.
  • "Whom? O whom? Captain Dobbin, of course, to whom we were all so
  • attentive, by the way, last night."
  • "We were very unkind to him," Emmy said, blushing very much. "I--I
  • quite forgot him."
  • "Of course you did," cried Osborne, still on the laugh.
  • "One can't be ALWAYS thinking about Dobbin, you know, Amelia. Can one,
  • Miss Sharp?"
  • "Except when he overset the glass of wine at dinner," Miss Sharp said,
  • with a haughty air and a toss of the head, "I never gave the existence
  • of Captain Dobbin one single moment's consideration."
  • "Very good, Miss Sharp, I'll tell him," Osborne said; and as he spoke
  • Miss Sharp began to have a feeling of distrust and hatred towards this
  • young officer, which he was quite unconscious of having inspired. "He
  • is to make fun of me, is he?" thought Rebecca. "Has he been laughing
  • about me to Joseph? Has he frightened him? Perhaps he won't come."--A
  • film passed over her eyes, and her heart beat quite quick.
  • "You're always joking," said she, smiling as innocently as she could.
  • "Joke away, Mr. George; there's nobody to defend ME." And George
  • Osborne, as she walked away--and Amelia looked reprovingly at him--felt
  • some little manly compunction for having inflicted any unnecessary
  • unkindness upon this helpless creature. "My dearest Amelia," said he,
  • "you are too good--too kind. You don't know the world. I do. And
  • your little friend Miss Sharp must learn her station."
  • "Don't you think Jos will--"
  • "Upon my word, my dear, I don't know. He may, or may not. I'm not his
  • master. I only know he is a very foolish vain fellow, and put my dear
  • little girl into a very painful and awkward position last night. My
  • dearest diddle-diddle-darling!" He was off laughing again, and he did
  • it so drolly that Emmy laughed too.
  • All that day Jos never came. But Amelia had no fear about this; for
  • the little schemer had actually sent away the page, Mr. Sambo's
  • aide-de-camp, to Mr. Joseph's lodgings, to ask for some book he had
  • promised, and how he was; and the reply through Jos's man, Mr. Brush,
  • was, that his master was ill in bed, and had just had the doctor with
  • him. He must come to-morrow, she thought, but she never had the
  • courage to speak a word on the subject to Rebecca; nor did that young
  • woman herself allude to it in any way during the whole evening after
  • the night at Vauxhall.
  • The next day, however, as the two young ladies sate on the sofa,
  • pretending to work, or to write letters, or to read novels, Sambo came
  • into the room with his usual engaging grin, with a packet under his
  • arm, and a note on a tray. "Note from Mr. Jos, Miss," says Sambo.
  • How Amelia trembled as she opened it!
  • So it ran:
  • Dear Amelia,--I send you the "Orphan of the Forest." I was too ill to
  • come yesterday. I leave town to-day for Cheltenham. Pray excuse me,
  • if you can, to the amiable Miss Sharp, for my conduct at Vauxhall, and
  • entreat her to pardon and forget every word I may have uttered when
  • excited by that fatal supper. As soon as I have recovered, for my
  • health is very much shaken, I shall go to Scotland for some months, and
  • am
  • Truly yours, Jos Sedley
  • It was the death-warrant. All was over. Amelia did not dare to look
  • at Rebecca's pale face and burning eyes, but she dropt the letter into
  • her friend's lap; and got up, and went upstairs to her room, and cried
  • her little heart out.
  • Blenkinsop, the housekeeper, there sought her presently with
  • consolation, on whose shoulder Amelia wept confidentially, and relieved
  • herself a good deal. "Don't take on, Miss. I didn't like to tell you.
  • But none of us in the house have liked her except at fust. I sor her
  • with my own eyes reading your Ma's letters. Pinner says she's always
  • about your trinket-box and drawers, and everybody's drawers, and she's
  • sure she's put your white ribbing into her box."
  • "I gave it her, I gave it her," Amelia said.
  • But this did not alter Mrs. Blenkinsop's opinion of Miss Sharp. "I
  • don't trust them governesses, Pinner," she remarked to the maid. "They
  • give themselves the hairs and hupstarts of ladies, and their wages is
  • no better than you nor me."
  • It now became clear to every soul in the house, except poor Amelia,
  • that Rebecca should take her departure, and high and low (always with
  • the one exception) agreed that that event should take place as speedily
  • as possible. Our good child ransacked all her drawers, cupboards,
  • reticules, and gimcrack boxes--passed in review all her gowns, fichus,
  • tags, bobbins, laces, silk stockings, and fallals--selecting this thing
  • and that and the other, to make a little heap for Rebecca. And going
  • to her Papa, that generous British merchant, who had promised to give
  • her as many guineas as she was years old--she begged the old gentleman
  • to give the money to dear Rebecca, who must want it, while she lacked
  • for nothing.
  • She even made George Osborne contribute, and nothing loth (for he was
  • as free-handed a young fellow as any in the army), he went to Bond
  • Street, and bought the best hat and spenser that money could buy.
  • "That's George's present to you, Rebecca, dear," said Amelia, quite
  • proud of the bandbox conveying these gifts. "What a taste he has!
  • There's nobody like him."
  • "Nobody," Rebecca answered. "How thankful I am to him!" She was
  • thinking in her heart, "It was George Osborne who prevented my
  • marriage."--And she loved George Osborne accordingly.
  • She made her preparations for departure with great equanimity; and
  • accepted all the kind little Amelia's presents, after just the proper
  • degree of hesitation and reluctance. She vowed eternal gratitude to
  • Mrs. Sedley, of course; but did not intrude herself upon that good lady
  • too much, who was embarrassed, and evidently wishing to avoid her. She
  • kissed Mr. Sedley's hand, when he presented her with the purse; and
  • asked permission to consider him for the future as her kind, kind
  • friend and protector. Her behaviour was so affecting that he was going
  • to write her a cheque for twenty pounds more; but he restrained his
  • feelings: the carriage was in waiting to take him to dinner, so he
  • tripped away with a "God bless you, my dear, always come here when you
  • come to town, you know.--Drive to the Mansion House, James."
  • Finally came the parting with Miss Amelia, over which picture I intend
  • to throw a veil. But after a scene in which one person was in earnest
  • and the other a perfect performer--after the tenderest caresses, the
  • most pathetic tears, the smelling-bottle, and some of the very best
  • feelings of the heart, had been called into requisition--Rebecca and
  • Amelia parted, the former vowing to love her friend for ever and ever
  • and ever.
  • CHAPTER VII
  • Crawley of Queen's Crawley
  • Among the most respected of the names beginning in C which the
  • Court-Guide contained, in the year 18--, was that of Crawley, Sir Pitt,
  • Baronet, Great Gaunt Street, and Queen's Crawley, Hants. This
  • honourable name had figured constantly also in the Parliamentary list
  • for many years, in conjunction with that of a number of other worthy
  • gentlemen who sat in turns for the borough.
  • It is related, with regard to the borough of Queen's Crawley, that
  • Queen Elizabeth in one of her progresses, stopping at Crawley to
  • breakfast, was so delighted with some remarkably fine Hampshire beer
  • which was then presented to her by the Crawley of the day (a handsome
  • gentleman with a trim beard and a good leg), that she forthwith erected
  • Crawley into a borough to send two members to Parliament; and the
  • place, from the day of that illustrious visit, took the name of Queen's
  • Crawley, which it holds up to the present moment. And though, by the
  • lapse of time, and those mutations which age produces in empires,
  • cities, and boroughs, Queen's Crawley was no longer so populous a place
  • as it had been in Queen Bess's time--nay, was come down to that
  • condition of borough which used to be denominated rotten--yet, as Sir
  • Pitt Crawley would say with perfect justice in his elegant way,
  • "Rotten! be hanged--it produces me a good fifteen hundred a year."
  • Sir Pitt Crawley (named after the great Commoner) was the son of
  • Walpole Crawley, first Baronet, of the Tape and Sealing-Wax Office in
  • the reign of George II., when he was impeached for peculation, as were
  • a great number of other honest gentlemen of those days; and Walpole
  • Crawley was, as need scarcely be said, son of John Churchill Crawley,
  • named after the celebrated military commander of the reign of Queen
  • Anne. The family tree (which hangs up at Queen's Crawley) furthermore
  • mentions Charles Stuart, afterwards called Barebones Crawley, son of
  • the Crawley of James the First's time; and finally, Queen Elizabeth's
  • Crawley, who is represented as the foreground of the picture in his
  • forked beard and armour. Out of his waistcoat, as usual, grows a tree,
  • on the main branches of which the above illustrious names are
  • inscribed. Close by the name of Sir Pitt Crawley, Baronet (the subject
  • of the present memoir), are written that of his brother, the Reverend
  • Bute Crawley (the great Commoner was in disgrace when the reverend
  • gentleman was born), rector of Crawley-cum-Snailby, and of various
  • other male and female members of the Crawley family.
  • Sir Pitt was first married to Grizzel, sixth daughter of Mungo Binkie,
  • Lord Binkie, and cousin, in consequence, of Mr. Dundas. She brought
  • him two sons: Pitt, named not so much after his father as after the
  • heaven-born minister; and Rawdon Crawley, from the Prince of Wales's
  • friend, whom his Majesty George IV forgot so completely. Many years
  • after her ladyship's demise, Sir Pitt led to the altar Rosa, daughter
  • of Mr. G. Dawson, of Mudbury, by whom he had two daughters, for whose
  • benefit Miss Rebecca Sharp was now engaged as governess. It will be
  • seen that the young lady was come into a family of very genteel
  • connexions, and was about to move in a much more distinguished circle
  • than that humble one which she had just quitted in Russell Square.
  • She had received her orders to join her pupils, in a note which was
  • written upon an old envelope, and which contained the following words:
  • Sir Pitt Crawley begs Miss Sharp and baggidge may be hear on Tuesday,
  • as I leaf for Queen's Crawley to-morrow morning ERLY.
  • Great Gaunt Street.
  • Rebecca had never seen a Baronet, as far as she knew, and as soon as
  • she had taken leave of Amelia, and counted the guineas which
  • good-natured Mr. Sedley had put into a purse for her, and as soon as
  • she had done wiping her eyes with her handkerchief (which operation she
  • concluded the very moment the carriage had turned the corner of the
  • street), she began to depict in her own mind what a Baronet must be. "I
  • wonder, does he wear a star?" thought she, "or is it only lords that
  • wear stars? But he will be very handsomely dressed in a court suit,
  • with ruffles, and his hair a little powdered, like Mr. Wroughton at
  • Covent Garden. I suppose he will be awfully proud, and that I shall be
  • treated most contemptuously. Still I must bear my hard lot as well as
  • I can--at least, I shall be amongst GENTLEFOLKS, and not with vulgar
  • city people": and she fell to thinking of her Russell Square friends
  • with that very same philosophical bitterness with which, in a certain
  • apologue, the fox is represented as speaking of the grapes.
  • Having passed through Gaunt Square into Great Gaunt Street, the
  • carriage at length stopped at a tall gloomy house between two other
  • tall gloomy houses, each with a hatchment over the middle drawing-room
  • window; as is the custom of houses in Great Gaunt Street, in which
  • gloomy locality death seems to reign perpetual. The shutters of the
  • first-floor windows of Sir Pitt's mansion were closed--those of the
  • dining-room were partially open, and the blinds neatly covered up in
  • old newspapers.
  • John, the groom, who had driven the carriage alone, did not care to
  • descend to ring the bell; and so prayed a passing milk-boy to perform
  • that office for him. When the bell was rung, a head appeared between
  • the interstices of the dining-room shutters, and the door was opened by
  • a man in drab breeches and gaiters, with a dirty old coat, a foul old
  • neckcloth lashed round his bristly neck, a shining bald head, a leering
  • red face, a pair of twinkling grey eyes, and a mouth perpetually on the
  • grin.
  • "This Sir Pitt Crawley's?" says John, from the box.
  • "Ees," says the man at the door, with a nod.
  • "Hand down these 'ere trunks then," said John.
  • "Hand 'n down yourself," said the porter.
  • "Don't you see I can't leave my hosses? Come, bear a hand, my fine
  • feller, and Miss will give you some beer," said John, with a
  • horse-laugh, for he was no longer respectful to Miss Sharp, as her
  • connexion with the family was broken off, and as she had given nothing
  • to the servants on coming away.
  • The bald-headed man, taking his hands out of his breeches pockets,
  • advanced on this summons, and throwing Miss Sharp's trunk over his
  • shoulder, carried it into the house.
  • "Take this basket and shawl, if you please, and open the door," said
  • Miss Sharp, and descended from the carriage in much indignation. "I
  • shall write to Mr. Sedley and inform him of your conduct," said she to
  • the groom.
  • "Don't," replied that functionary. "I hope you've forgot nothink? Miss
  • 'Melia's gownds--have you got them--as the lady's maid was to have 'ad?
  • I hope they'll fit you. Shut the door, Jim, you'll get no good out of
  • 'ER," continued John, pointing with his thumb towards Miss Sharp: "a
  • bad lot, I tell you, a bad lot," and so saying, Mr. Sedley's groom
  • drove away. The truth is, he was attached to the lady's maid in
  • question, and indignant that she should have been robbed of her
  • perquisites.
  • On entering the dining-room, by the orders of the individual in
  • gaiters, Rebecca found that apartment not more cheerful than such rooms
  • usually are, when genteel families are out of town. The faithful
  • chambers seem, as it were, to mourn the absence of their masters. The
  • turkey carpet has rolled itself up, and retired sulkily under the
  • sideboard: the pictures have hidden their faces behind old sheets of
  • brown paper: the ceiling lamp is muffled up in a dismal sack of brown
  • holland: the window-curtains have disappeared under all sorts of shabby
  • envelopes: the marble bust of Sir Walpole Crawley is looking from its
  • black corner at the bare boards and the oiled fire-irons, and the empty
  • card-racks over the mantelpiece: the cellaret has lurked away behind
  • the carpet: the chairs are turned up heads and tails along the walls:
  • and in the dark corner opposite the statue, is an old-fashioned crabbed
  • knife-box, locked and sitting on a dumb waiter.
  • Two kitchen chairs, and a round table, and an attenuated old poker and
  • tongs were, however, gathered round the fire-place, as was a saucepan
  • over a feeble sputtering fire. There was a bit of cheese and bread,
  • and a tin candlestick on the table, and a little black porter in a
  • pint-pot.
  • "Had your dinner, I suppose? It is not too warm for you? Like a drop of
  • beer?"
  • "Where is Sir Pitt Crawley?" said Miss Sharp majestically.
  • "He, he! I'm Sir Pitt Crawley. Reklect you owe me a pint for bringing
  • down your luggage. He, he! Ask Tinker if I aynt. Mrs. Tinker, Miss
  • Sharp; Miss Governess, Mrs. Charwoman. Ho, ho!"
  • The lady addressed as Mrs. Tinker at this moment made her appearance
  • with a pipe and a paper of tobacco, for which she had been despatched a
  • minute before Miss Sharp's arrival; and she handed the articles over to
  • Sir Pitt, who had taken his seat by the fire.
  • "Where's the farden?" said he. "I gave you three halfpence. Where's
  • the change, old Tinker?"
  • "There!" replied Mrs. Tinker, flinging down the coin; "it's only
  • baronets as cares about farthings."
  • "A farthing a day is seven shillings a year," answered the M.P.; "seven
  • shillings a year is the interest of seven guineas. Take care of your
  • farthings, old Tinker, and your guineas will come quite nat'ral."
  • "You may be sure it's Sir Pitt Crawley, young woman," said Mrs. Tinker,
  • surlily; "because he looks to his farthings. You'll know him better
  • afore long."
  • "And like me none the worse, Miss Sharp," said the old gentleman, with
  • an air almost of politeness. "I must be just before I'm generous."
  • "He never gave away a farthing in his life," growled Tinker.
  • "Never, and never will: it's against my principle. Go and get another
  • chair from the kitchen, Tinker, if you want to sit down; and then we'll
  • have a bit of supper."
  • Presently the baronet plunged a fork into the saucepan on the fire, and
  • withdrew from the pot a piece of tripe and an onion, which he divided
  • into pretty equal portions, and of which he partook with Mrs. Tinker.
  • "You see, Miss Sharp, when I'm not here Tinker's on board wages: when
  • I'm in town she dines with the family. Haw! haw! I'm glad Miss Sharp's
  • not hungry, ain't you, Tink?" And they fell to upon their frugal supper.
  • After supper Sir Pitt Crawley began to smoke his pipe; and when it
  • became quite dark, he lighted the rushlight in the tin candlestick, and
  • producing from an interminable pocket a huge mass of papers, began
  • reading them, and putting them in order.
  • "I'm here on law business, my dear, and that's how it happens that I
  • shall have the pleasure of such a pretty travelling companion
  • to-morrow."
  • "He's always at law business," said Mrs. Tinker, taking up the pot of
  • porter.
  • "Drink and drink about," said the Baronet. "Yes; my dear, Tinker is
  • quite right: I've lost and won more lawsuits than any man in England.
  • Look here at Crawley, Bart. v. Snaffle. I'll throw him over, or my
  • name's not Pitt Crawley. Podder and another versus Crawley, Bart.
  • Overseers of Snaily parish against Crawley, Bart. They can't prove it's
  • common: I'll defy 'em; the land's mine. It no more belongs to the
  • parish than it does to you or Tinker here. I'll beat 'em, if it cost
  • me a thousand guineas. Look over the papers; you may if you like, my
  • dear. Do you write a good hand? I'll make you useful when we're at
  • Queen's Crawley, depend on it, Miss Sharp. Now the dowager's dead I
  • want some one."
  • "She was as bad as he," said Tinker. "She took the law of every one of
  • her tradesmen; and turned away forty-eight footmen in four year."
  • "She was close--very close," said the Baronet, simply; "but she was a
  • valyble woman to me, and saved me a steward."--And in this confidential
  • strain, and much to the amusement of the new-comer, the conversation
  • continued for a considerable time. Whatever Sir Pitt Crawley's
  • qualities might be, good or bad, he did not make the least disguise of
  • them. He talked of himself incessantly, sometimes in the coarsest and
  • vulgarest Hampshire accent; sometimes adopting the tone of a man of the
  • world. And so, with injunctions to Miss Sharp to be ready at five in
  • the morning, he bade her good night. "You'll sleep with Tinker
  • to-night," he said; "it's a big bed, and there's room for two. Lady
  • Crawley died in it. Good night."
  • Sir Pitt went off after this benediction, and the solemn Tinker,
  • rushlight in hand, led the way up the great bleak stone stairs, past
  • the great dreary drawing-room doors, with the handles muffled up in
  • paper, into the great front bedroom, where Lady Crawley had slept her
  • last. The bed and chamber were so funereal and gloomy, you might have
  • fancied, not only that Lady Crawley died in the room, but that her
  • ghost inhabited it. Rebecca sprang about the apartment, however, with
  • the greatest liveliness, and had peeped into the huge wardrobes, and
  • the closets, and the cupboards, and tried the drawers which were
  • locked, and examined the dreary pictures and toilette appointments,
  • while the old charwoman was saying her prayers. "I shouldn't like to
  • sleep in this yeer bed without a good conscience, Miss," said the old
  • woman. "There's room for us and a half-dozen of ghosts in it," says
  • Rebecca. "Tell me all about Lady Crawley and Sir Pitt Crawley, and
  • everybody, my DEAR Mrs. Tinker."
  • But old Tinker was not to be pumped by this little cross-questioner;
  • and signifying to her that bed was a place for sleeping, not
  • conversation, set up in her corner of the bed such a snore as only the
  • nose of innocence can produce. Rebecca lay awake for a long, long
  • time, thinking of the morrow, and of the new world into which she was
  • going, and of her chances of success there. The rushlight flickered in
  • the basin. The mantelpiece cast up a great black shadow, over half of
  • a mouldy old sampler, which her defunct ladyship had worked, no doubt,
  • and over two little family pictures of young lads, one in a college
  • gown, and the other in a red jacket like a soldier. When she went to
  • sleep, Rebecca chose that one to dream about.
  • At four o'clock, on such a roseate summer's morning as even made Great
  • Gaunt Street look cheerful, the faithful Tinker, having wakened her
  • bedfellow, and bid her prepare for departure, unbarred and unbolted the
  • great hall door (the clanging and clapping whereof startled the
  • sleeping echoes in the street), and taking her way into Oxford Street,
  • summoned a coach from a stand there. It is needless to particularize
  • the number of the vehicle, or to state that the driver was stationed
  • thus early in the neighbourhood of Swallow Street, in hopes that some
  • young buck, reeling homeward from the tavern, might need the aid of his
  • vehicle, and pay him with the generosity of intoxication.
  • It is likewise needless to say that the driver, if he had any such
  • hopes as those above stated, was grossly disappointed; and that the
  • worthy Baronet whom he drove to the City did not give him one single
  • penny more than his fare. It was in vain that Jehu appealed and
  • stormed; that he flung down Miss Sharp's bandboxes in the gutter at the
  • 'Necks, and swore he would take the law of his fare.
  • "You'd better not," said one of the ostlers; "it's Sir Pitt Crawley."
  • "So it is, Joe," cried the Baronet, approvingly; "and I'd like to see
  • the man can do me."
  • "So should oi," said Joe, grinning sulkily, and mounting the Baronet's
  • baggage on the roof of the coach.
  • "Keep the box for me, Leader," exclaims the Member of Parliament to the
  • coachman; who replied, "Yes, Sir Pitt," with a touch of his hat, and
  • rage in his soul (for he had promised the box to a young gentleman from
  • Cambridge, who would have given a crown to a certainty), and Miss Sharp
  • was accommodated with a back seat inside the carriage, which might be
  • said to be carrying her into the wide world.
  • How the young man from Cambridge sulkily put his five great-coats in
  • front; but was reconciled when little Miss Sharp was made to quit the
  • carriage, and mount up beside him--when he covered her up in one of his
  • Benjamins, and became perfectly good-humoured--how the asthmatic
  • gentleman, the prim lady, who declared upon her sacred honour she had
  • never travelled in a public carriage before (there is always such a
  • lady in a coach--Alas! was; for the coaches, where are they?), and the
  • fat widow with the brandy-bottle, took their places inside--how the
  • porter asked them all for money, and got sixpence from the gentleman
  • and five greasy halfpence from the fat widow--and how the carriage at
  • length drove away--now threading the dark lanes of Aldersgate, anon
  • clattering by the Blue Cupola of St. Paul's, jingling rapidly by the
  • strangers' entry of Fleet-Market, which, with Exeter 'Change, has now
  • departed to the world of shadows--how they passed the White Bear in
  • Piccadilly, and saw the dew rising up from the market-gardens of
  • Knightsbridge--how Turnhamgreen, Brentwood, Bagshot, were passed--need
  • not be told here. But the writer of these pages, who has pursued in
  • former days, and in the same bright weather, the same remarkable
  • journey, cannot but think of it with a sweet and tender regret. Where
  • is the road now, and its merry incidents of life? Is there no Chelsea
  • or Greenwich for the old honest pimple-nosed coachmen? I wonder where
  • are they, those good fellows? Is old Weller alive or dead? and the
  • waiters, yea, and the inns at which they waited, and the cold rounds of
  • beef inside, and the stunted ostler, with his blue nose and clinking
  • pail, where is he, and where is his generation? To those great
  • geniuses now in petticoats, who shall write novels for the beloved
  • reader's children, these men and things will be as much legend and
  • history as Nineveh, or Coeur de Lion, or Jack Sheppard. For them
  • stage-coaches will have become romances--a team of four bays as
  • fabulous as Bucephalus or Black Bess. Ah, how their coats shone, as
  • the stable-men pulled their clothes off, and away they went--ah, how
  • their tails shook, as with smoking sides at the stage's end they
  • demurely walked away into the inn-yard. Alas! we shall never hear the
  • horn sing at midnight, or see the pike-gates fly open any more.
  • Whither, however, is the light four-inside Trafalgar coach carrying us?
  • Let us be set down at Queen's Crawley without further divagation, and
  • see how Miss Rebecca Sharp speeds there.
  • CHAPTER VIII
  • Private and Confidential
  • Miss Rebecca Sharp to Miss Amelia Sedley, Russell Square, London.
  • (Free.--Pitt Crawley.)
  • MY DEAREST, SWEETEST AMELIA,
  • With what mingled joy and sorrow do I take up the pen to write to my
  • dearest friend! Oh, what a change between to-day and yesterday! Now I
  • am friendless and alone; yesterday I was at home, in the sweet company
  • of a sister, whom I shall ever, ever cherish!
  • I will not tell you in what tears and sadness I passed the fatal night
  • in which I separated from you. YOU went on Tuesday to joy and
  • happiness, with your mother and YOUR DEVOTED YOUNG SOLDIER by your
  • side; and I thought of you all night, dancing at the Perkins's, the
  • prettiest, I am sure, of all the young ladies at the Ball. I was
  • brought by the groom in the old carriage to Sir Pitt Crawley's town
  • house, where, after John the groom had behaved most rudely and
  • insolently to me (alas! 'twas safe to insult poverty and misfortune!),
  • I was given over to Sir P.'s care, and made to pass the night in an old
  • gloomy bed, and by the side of a horrid gloomy old charwoman, who keeps
  • the house. I did not sleep one single wink the whole night.
  • Sir Pitt is not what we silly girls, when we used to read Cecilia at
  • Chiswick, imagined a baronet must have been. Anything, indeed, less
  • like Lord Orville cannot be imagined. Fancy an old, stumpy, short,
  • vulgar, and very dirty man, in old clothes and shabby old gaiters, who
  • smokes a horrid pipe, and cooks his own horrid supper in a saucepan.
  • He speaks with a country accent, and swore a great deal at the old
  • charwoman, at the hackney coachman who drove us to the inn where the
  • coach went from, and on which I made the journey OUTSIDE FOR THE
  • GREATER PART OF THE WAY.
  • I was awakened at daybreak by the charwoman, and having arrived at the
  • inn, was at first placed inside the coach. But, when we got to a place
  • called Leakington, where the rain began to fall very heavily--will you
  • believe it?--I was forced to come outside; for Sir Pitt is a proprietor
  • of the coach, and as a passenger came at Mudbury, who wanted an inside
  • place, I was obliged to go outside in the rain, where, however, a young
  • gentleman from Cambridge College sheltered me very kindly in one of his
  • several great coats.
  • This gentleman and the guard seemed to know Sir Pitt very well, and
  • laughed at him a great deal. They both agreed in calling him an old
  • screw; which means a very stingy, avaricious person. He never gives
  • any money to anybody, they said (and this meanness I hate); and the
  • young gentleman made me remark that we drove very slow for the last two
  • stages on the road, because Sir Pitt was on the box, and because he is
  • proprietor of the horses for this part of the journey. "But won't I
  • flog 'em on to Squashmore, when I take the ribbons?" said the young
  • Cantab. "And sarve 'em right, Master Jack," said the guard. When I
  • comprehended the meaning of this phrase, and that Master Jack intended
  • to drive the rest of the way, and revenge himself on Sir Pitt's horses,
  • of course I laughed too.
  • A carriage and four splendid horses, covered with armorial bearings,
  • however, awaited us at Mudbury, four miles from Queen's Crawley, and we
  • made our entrance to the baronet's park in state. There is a fine
  • avenue of a mile long leading to the house, and the woman at the
  • lodge-gate (over the pillars of which are a serpent and a dove, the
  • supporters of the Crawley arms), made us a number of curtsies as she
  • flung open the old iron carved doors, which are something like those at
  • odious Chiswick.
  • "There's an avenue," said Sir Pitt, "a mile long. There's six thousand
  • pound of timber in them there trees. Do you call that nothing?" He
  • pronounced avenue--EVENUE, and nothing--NOTHINK, so droll; and he had a
  • Mr. Hodson, his hind from Mudbury, into the carriage with him, and they
  • talked about distraining, and selling up, and draining and subsoiling,
  • and a great deal about tenants and farming--much more than I could
  • understand. Sam Miles had been caught poaching, and Peter Bailey had
  • gone to the workhouse at last. "Serve him right," said Sir Pitt; "him
  • and his family has been cheating me on that farm these hundred and
  • fifty years." Some old tenant, I suppose, who could not pay his rent.
  • Sir Pitt might have said "he and his family," to be sure; but rich
  • baronets do not need to be careful about grammar, as poor governesses
  • must be.
  • As we passed, I remarked a beautiful church-spire rising above some old
  • elms in the park; and before them, in the midst of a lawn, and some
  • outhouses, an old red house with tall chimneys covered with ivy, and
  • the windows shining in the sun. "Is that your church, sir?" I said.
  • "Yes, hang it," (said Sir Pitt, only he used, dear, A MUCH WICKEDER
  • WORD); "how's Buty, Hodson? Buty's my brother Bute, my dear--my brother
  • the parson. Buty and the Beast I call him, ha, ha!"
  • Hodson laughed too, and then looking more grave and nodding his head,
  • said, "I'm afraid he's better, Sir Pitt. He was out on his pony
  • yesterday, looking at our corn."
  • "Looking after his tithes, hang'un (only he used the same wicked word).
  • Will brandy and water never kill him? He's as tough as old
  • whatdyecallum--old Methusalem."
  • Mr. Hodson laughed again. "The young men is home from college. They've
  • whopped John Scroggins till he's well nigh dead."
  • "Whop my second keeper!" roared out Sir Pitt.
  • "He was on the parson's ground, sir," replied Mr. Hodson; and Sir Pitt
  • in a fury swore that if he ever caught 'em poaching on his ground, he'd
  • transport 'em, by the lord he would. However, he said, "I've sold the
  • presentation of the living, Hodson; none of that breed shall get it, I
  • war'nt"; and Mr. Hodson said he was quite right: and I have no doubt
  • from this that the two brothers are at variance--as brothers often are,
  • and sisters too. Don't you remember the two Miss Scratchleys at
  • Chiswick, how they used always to fight and quarrel--and Mary Box, how
  • she was always thumping Louisa?
  • Presently, seeing two little boys gathering sticks in the wood, Mr.
  • Hodson jumped out of the carriage, at Sir Pitt's order, and rushed upon
  • them with his whip. "Pitch into 'em, Hodson," roared the baronet;
  • "flog their little souls out, and bring 'em up to the house, the
  • vagabonds; I'll commit 'em as sure as my name's Pitt." And presently we
  • heard Mr. Hodson's whip cracking on the shoulders of the poor little
  • blubbering wretches, and Sir Pitt, seeing that the malefactors were in
  • custody, drove on to the hall.
  • All the servants were ready to meet us, and . . .
  • Here, my dear, I was interrupted last night by a dreadful thumping at
  • my door: and who do you think it was? Sir Pitt Crawley in his night-cap
  • and dressing-gown, such a figure! As I shrank away from such a visitor,
  • he came forward and seized my candle. "No candles after eleven
  • o'clock, Miss Becky," said he. "Go to bed in the dark, you pretty
  • little hussy" (that is what he called me), "and unless you wish me to
  • come for the candle every night, mind and be in bed at eleven." And
  • with this, he and Mr. Horrocks the butler went off laughing. You may
  • be sure I shall not encourage any more of their visits. They let loose
  • two immense bloodhounds at night, which all last night were yelling and
  • howling at the moon. "I call the dog Gorer," said Sir Pitt; "he's
  • killed a man that dog has, and is master of a bull, and the mother I
  • used to call Flora; but now I calls her Aroarer, for she's too old to
  • bite. Haw, haw!"
  • Before the house of Queen's Crawley, which is an odious old-fashioned
  • red brick mansion, with tall chimneys and gables of the style of Queen
  • Bess, there is a terrace flanked by the family dove and serpent, and on
  • which the great hall-door opens. And oh, my dear, the great hall I am
  • sure is as big and as glum as the great hall in the dear castle of
  • Udolpho. It has a large fireplace, in which we might put half Miss
  • Pinkerton's school, and the grate is big enough to roast an ox at the
  • very least. Round the room hang I don't know how many generations of
  • Crawleys, some with beards and ruffs, some with huge wigs and toes
  • turned out, some dressed in long straight stays and gowns that look as
  • stiff as towers, and some with long ringlets, and oh, my dear! scarcely
  • any stays at all. At one end of the hall is the great staircase all in
  • black oak, as dismal as may be, and on either side are tall doors with
  • stags' heads over them, leading to the billiard-room and the library,
  • and the great yellow saloon and the morning-rooms. I think there are
  • at least twenty bedrooms on the first floor; one of them has the bed in
  • which Queen Elizabeth slept; and I have been taken by my new pupils
  • through all these fine apartments this morning. They are not rendered
  • less gloomy, I promise you, by having the shutters always shut; and
  • there is scarce one of the apartments, but when the light was let into
  • it, I expected to see a ghost in the room. We have a schoolroom on the
  • second floor, with my bedroom leading into it on one side, and that of
  • the young ladies on the other. Then there are Mr. Pitt's
  • apartments--Mr. Crawley, he is called--the eldest son, and Mr. Rawdon
  • Crawley's rooms--he is an officer like SOMEBODY, and away with his
  • regiment. There is no want of room I assure you. You might lodge all
  • the people in Russell Square in the house, I think, and have space to
  • spare.
  • Half an hour after our arrival, the great dinner-bell was rung, and I
  • came down with my two pupils (they are very thin insignificant little
  • chits of ten and eight years old). I came down in your dear muslin
  • gown (about which that odious Mrs. Pinner was so rude, because you gave
  • it me); for I am to be treated as one of the family, except on company
  • days, when the young ladies and I are to dine upstairs.
  • Well, the great dinner-bell rang, and we all assembled in the little
  • drawing-room where my Lady Crawley sits. She is the second Lady
  • Crawley, and mother of the young ladies. She was an ironmonger's
  • daughter, and her marriage was thought a great match. She looks as if
  • she had been handsome once, and her eyes are always weeping for the
  • loss of her beauty. She is pale and meagre and high-shouldered, and
  • has not a word to say for herself, evidently. Her stepson Mr. Crawley,
  • was likewise in the room. He was in full dress, as pompous as an
  • undertaker. He is pale, thin, ugly, silent; he has thin legs, no
  • chest, hay-coloured whiskers, and straw-coloured hair. He is the very
  • picture of his sainted mother over the mantelpiece--Griselda of the
  • noble house of Binkie.
  • "This is the new governess, Mr. Crawley," said Lady Crawley, coming
  • forward and taking my hand. "Miss Sharp."
  • "O!" said Mr. Crawley, and pushed his head once forward and began again
  • to read a great pamphlet with which he was busy.
  • "I hope you will be kind to my girls," said Lady Crawley, with her pink
  • eyes always full of tears.
  • "Law, Ma, of course she will," said the eldest: and I saw at a glance
  • that I need not be afraid of THAT woman. "My lady is served," says the
  • butler in black, in an immense white shirt-frill, that looked as if it
  • had been one of the Queen Elizabeth's ruffs depicted in the hall; and
  • so, taking Mr. Crawley's arm, she led the way to the dining-room,
  • whither I followed with my little pupils in each hand.
  • Sir Pitt was already in the room with a silver jug. He had just been
  • to the cellar, and was in full dress too; that is, he had taken his
  • gaiters off, and showed his little dumpy legs in black worsted
  • stockings. The sideboard was covered with glistening old plate--old
  • cups, both gold and silver; old salvers and cruet-stands, like Rundell
  • and Bridge's shop. Everything on the table was in silver too, and two
  • footmen, with red hair and canary-coloured liveries, stood on either
  • side of the sideboard.
  • Mr. Crawley said a long grace, and Sir Pitt said amen, and the great
  • silver dish-covers were removed.
  • "What have we for dinner, Betsy?" said the Baronet.
  • "Mutton broth, I believe, Sir Pitt," answered Lady Crawley.
  • "Mouton aux navets," added the butler gravely (pronounce, if you
  • please, moutongonavvy); "and the soup is potage de mouton a
  • l'Ecossaise. The side-dishes contain pommes de terre au naturel, and
  • choufleur a l'eau."
  • "Mutton's mutton," said the Baronet, "and a devilish good thing. What
  • SHIP was it, Horrocks, and when did you kill?" "One of the black-faced
  • Scotch, Sir Pitt: we killed on Thursday."
  • "Who took any?"
  • "Steel, of Mudbury, took the saddle and two legs, Sir Pitt; but he says
  • the last was too young and confounded woolly, Sir Pitt."
  • "Will you take some potage, Miss ah--Miss Blunt? said Mr. Crawley.
  • "Capital Scotch broth, my dear," said Sir Pitt, "though they call it by
  • a French name."
  • "I believe it is the custom, sir, in decent society," said Mr. Crawley,
  • haughtily, "to call the dish as I have called it"; and it was served to
  • us on silver soup plates by the footmen in the canary coats, with the
  • mouton aux navets. Then "ale and water" were brought, and served to us
  • young ladies in wine-glasses. I am not a judge of ale, but I can say
  • with a clear conscience I prefer water.
  • While we were enjoying our repast, Sir Pitt took occasion to ask what
  • had become of the shoulders of the mutton.
  • "I believe they were eaten in the servants' hall," said my lady, humbly.
  • "They was, my lady," said Horrocks, "and precious little else we get
  • there neither."
  • Sir Pitt burst into a horse-laugh, and continued his conversation with
  • Mr. Horrocks. "That there little black pig of the Kent sow's breed
  • must be uncommon fat now."
  • "It's not quite busting, Sir Pitt," said the butler with the gravest
  • air, at which Sir Pitt, and with him the young ladies, this time, began
  • to laugh violently.
  • "Miss Crawley, Miss Rose Crawley," said Mr. Crawley, "your laughter
  • strikes me as being exceedingly out of place."
  • "Never mind, my lord," said the Baronet, "we'll try the porker on
  • Saturday. Kill un on Saturday morning, John Horrocks. Miss Sharp
  • adores pork, don't you, Miss Sharp?"
  • And I think this is all the conversation that I remember at dinner.
  • When the repast was concluded a jug of hot water was placed before Sir
  • Pitt, with a case-bottle containing, I believe, rum. Mr. Horrocks
  • served myself and my pupils with three little glasses of wine, and a
  • bumper was poured out for my lady. When we retired, she took from her
  • work-drawer an enormous interminable piece of knitting; the young
  • ladies began to play at cribbage with a dirty pack of cards. We had
  • but one candle lighted, but it was in a magnificent old silver
  • candlestick, and after a very few questions from my lady, I had my
  • choice of amusement between a volume of sermons, and a pamphlet on the
  • corn-laws, which Mr. Crawley had been reading before dinner.
  • So we sat for an hour until steps were heard.
  • "Put away the cards, girls," cried my lady, in a great tremor; "put
  • down Mr. Crawley's books, Miss Sharp"; and these orders had been
  • scarcely obeyed, when Mr. Crawley entered the room.
  • "We will resume yesterday's discourse, young ladies," said he, "and you
  • shall each read a page by turns; so that Miss a--Miss Short may have an
  • opportunity of hearing you"; and the poor girls began to spell a long
  • dismal sermon delivered at Bethesda Chapel, Liverpool, on behalf of the
  • mission for the Chickasaw Indians. Was it not a charming evening?
  • At ten the servants were told to call Sir Pitt and the household to
  • prayers. Sir Pitt came in first, very much flushed, and rather
  • unsteady in his gait; and after him the butler, the canaries, Mr.
  • Crawley's man, three other men, smelling very much of the stable, and
  • four women, one of whom, I remarked, was very much overdressed, and who
  • flung me a look of great scorn as she plumped down on her knees.
  • After Mr. Crawley had done haranguing and expounding, we received our
  • candles, and then we went to bed; and then I was disturbed in my
  • writing, as I have described to my dearest sweetest Amelia.
  • Good night. A thousand, thousand, thousand kisses!
  • Saturday.--This morning, at five, I heard the shrieking of the little
  • black pig. Rose and Violet introduced me to it yesterday; and to the
  • stables, and to the kennel, and to the gardener, who was picking fruit
  • to send to market, and from whom they begged hard a bunch of hot-house
  • grapes; but he said that Sir Pitt had numbered every "Man Jack" of
  • them, and it would be as much as his place was worth to give any away.
  • The darling girls caught a colt in a paddock, and asked me if I would
  • ride, and began to ride themselves, when the groom, coming with horrid
  • oaths, drove them away.
  • Lady Crawley is always knitting the worsted. Sir Pitt is always tipsy,
  • every night; and, I believe, sits with Horrocks, the butler. Mr.
  • Crawley always reads sermons in the evening, and in the morning is
  • locked up in his study, or else rides to Mudbury, on county business,
  • or to Squashmore, where he preaches, on Wednesdays and Fridays, to the
  • tenants there.
  • A hundred thousand grateful loves to your dear papa and mamma. Is your
  • poor brother recovered of his rack-punch? Oh, dear! Oh, dear! How men
  • should beware of wicked punch!
  • Ever and ever thine own REBECCA
  • Everything considered, I think it is quite as well for our dear Amelia
  • Sedley, in Russell Square, that Miss Sharp and she are parted. Rebecca
  • is a droll funny creature, to be sure; and those descriptions of the
  • poor lady weeping for the loss of her beauty, and the gentleman "with
  • hay-coloured whiskers and straw-coloured hair," are very smart,
  • doubtless, and show a great knowledge of the world. That she might,
  • when on her knees, have been thinking of something better than Miss
  • Horrocks's ribbons, has possibly struck both of us. But my kind reader
  • will please to remember that this history has "Vanity Fair" for a
  • title, and that Vanity Fair is a very vain, wicked, foolish place, full
  • of all sorts of humbugs and falsenesses and pretensions. And while the
  • moralist, who is holding forth on the cover ( an accurate portrait of
  • your humble servant), professes to wear neither gown nor bands, but
  • only the very same long-eared livery in which his congregation is
  • arrayed: yet, look you, one is bound to speak the truth as far as one
  • knows it, whether one mounts a cap and bells or a shovel hat; and a
  • deal of disagreeable matter must come out in the course of such an
  • undertaking.
  • I have heard a brother of the story-telling trade, at Naples, preaching
  • to a pack of good-for-nothing honest lazy fellows by the sea-shore,
  • work himself up into such a rage and passion with some of the villains
  • whose wicked deeds he was describing and inventing, that the audience
  • could not resist it; and they and the poet together would burst out
  • into a roar of oaths and execrations against the fictitious monster of
  • the tale, so that the hat went round, and the bajocchi tumbled into it,
  • in the midst of a perfect storm of sympathy.
  • At the little Paris theatres, on the other hand, you will not only hear
  • the people yelling out "Ah gredin! Ah monstre:" and cursing the tyrant
  • of the play from the boxes; but the actors themselves positively refuse
  • to play the wicked parts, such as those of infames Anglais, brutal
  • Cossacks, and what not, and prefer to appear at a smaller salary, in
  • their real characters as loyal Frenchmen. I set the two stories one
  • against the other, so that you may see that it is not from mere
  • mercenary motives that the present performer is desirous to show up and
  • trounce his villains; but because he has a sincere hatred of them,
  • which he cannot keep down, and which must find a vent in suitable abuse
  • and bad language.
  • I warn my "kyind friends," then, that I am going to tell a story of
  • harrowing villainy and complicated--but, as I trust, intensely
  • interesting--crime. My rascals are no milk-and-water rascals, I
  • promise you. When we come to the proper places we won't spare fine
  • language--No, no! But when we are going over the quiet country we must
  • perforce be calm. A tempest in a slop-basin is absurd. We will
  • reserve that sort of thing for the mighty ocean and the lonely
  • midnight. The present Chapter is very mild. Others--But we will not
  • anticipate THOSE.
  • And, as we bring our characters forward, I will ask leave, as a man and
  • a brother, not only to introduce them, but occasionally to step down
  • from the platform, and talk about them: if they are good and kindly, to
  • love them and shake them by the hand: if they are silly, to laugh at
  • them confidentially in the reader's sleeve: if they are wicked and
  • heartless, to abuse them in the strongest terms which politeness admits
  • of.
  • Otherwise you might fancy it was I who was sneering at the practice of
  • devotion, which Miss Sharp finds so ridiculous; that it was I who
  • laughed good-humouredly at the reeling old Silenus of a
  • baronet--whereas the laughter comes from one who has no reverence
  • except for prosperity, and no eye for anything beyond success. Such
  • people there are living and flourishing in the world--Faithless,
  • Hopeless, Charityless: let us have at them, dear friends, with might
  • and main. Some there are, and very successful too, mere quacks and
  • fools: and it was to combat and expose such as those, no doubt, that
  • Laughter was made.
  • CHAPTER IX
  • Family Portraits
  • Sir Pitt Crawley was a philosopher with a taste for what is called low
  • life. His first marriage with the daughter of the noble Binkie had
  • been made under the auspices of his parents; and as he often told Lady
  • Crawley in her lifetime she was such a confounded quarrelsome high-bred
  • jade that when she died he was hanged if he would ever take another of
  • her sort, at her ladyship's demise he kept his promise, and selected
  • for a second wife Miss Rose Dawson, daughter of Mr. John Thomas Dawson,
  • ironmonger, of Mudbury. What a happy woman was Rose to be my Lady
  • Crawley!
  • Let us set down the items of her happiness. In the first place, she
  • gave up Peter Butt, a young man who kept company with her, and in
  • consequence of his disappointment in love, took to smuggling, poaching,
  • and a thousand other bad courses. Then she quarrelled, as in duty
  • bound, with all the friends and intimates of her youth, who, of course,
  • could not be received by my Lady at Queen's Crawley--nor did she find
  • in her new rank and abode any persons who were willing to welcome her.
  • Who ever did? Sir Huddleston Fuddleston had three daughters who all
  • hoped to be Lady Crawley. Sir Giles Wapshot's family were insulted
  • that one of the Wapshot girls had not the preference in the marriage,
  • and the remaining baronets of the county were indignant at their
  • comrade's misalliance. Never mind the commoners, whom we will leave to
  • grumble anonymously.
  • Sir Pitt did not care, as he said, a brass farden for any one of them.
  • He had his pretty Rose, and what more need a man require than to please
  • himself? So he used to get drunk every night: to beat his pretty Rose
  • sometimes: to leave her in Hampshire when he went to London for the
  • parliamentary session, without a single friend in the wide world. Even
  • Mrs. Bute Crawley, the Rector's wife, refused to visit her, as she said
  • she would never give the pas to a tradesman's daughter.
  • As the only endowments with which Nature had gifted Lady Crawley were
  • those of pink cheeks and a white skin, and as she had no sort of
  • character, nor talents, nor opinions, nor occupations, nor amusements,
  • nor that vigour of soul and ferocity of temper which often falls to the
  • lot of entirely foolish women, her hold upon Sir Pitt's affections was
  • not very great. Her roses faded out of her cheeks, and the pretty
  • freshness left her figure after the birth of a couple of children, and
  • she became a mere machine in her husband's house of no more use than
  • the late Lady Crawley's grand piano. Being a light-complexioned woman,
  • she wore light clothes, as most blondes will, and appeared, in
  • preference, in draggled sea-green, or slatternly sky-blue. She worked
  • that worsted day and night, or other pieces like it. She had
  • counterpanes in the course of a few years to all the beds in Crawley.
  • She had a small flower-garden, for which she had rather an affection;
  • but beyond this no other like or disliking. When her husband was rude
  • to her she was apathetic: whenever he struck her she cried. She had
  • not character enough to take to drinking, and moaned about, slipshod
  • and in curl-papers all day. O Vanity Fair--Vanity Fair! This might
  • have been, but for you, a cheery lass--Peter Butt and Rose a happy man
  • and wife, in a snug farm, with a hearty family; and an honest portion
  • of pleasures, cares, hopes and struggles--but a title and a coach and
  • four are toys more precious than happiness in Vanity Fair: and if Harry
  • the Eighth or Bluebeard were alive now, and wanted a tenth wife, do you
  • suppose he could not get the prettiest girl that shall be presented
  • this season?
  • The languid dulness of their mamma did not, as it may be supposed,
  • awaken much affection in her little daughters, but they were very happy
  • in the servants' hall and in the stables; and the Scotch gardener
  • having luckily a good wife and some good children, they got a little
  • wholesome society and instruction in his lodge, which was the only
  • education bestowed upon them until Miss Sharp came.
  • Her engagement was owing to the remonstrances of Mr. Pitt Crawley, the
  • only friend or protector Lady Crawley ever had, and the only person,
  • besides her children, for whom she entertained a little feeble
  • attachment. Mr. Pitt took after the noble Binkies, from whom he was
  • descended, and was a very polite and proper gentleman. When he grew to
  • man's estate, and came back from Christchurch, he began to reform the
  • slackened discipline of the hall, in spite of his father, who stood in
  • awe of him. He was a man of such rigid refinement, that he would have
  • starved rather than have dined without a white neckcloth. Once, when
  • just from college, and when Horrocks the butler brought him a letter
  • without placing it previously on a tray, he gave that domestic a look,
  • and administered to him a speech so cutting, that Horrocks ever after
  • trembled before him; the whole household bowed to him: Lady Crawley's
  • curl-papers came off earlier when he was at home: Sir Pitt's muddy
  • gaiters disappeared; and if that incorrigible old man still adhered to
  • other old habits, he never fuddled himself with rum-and-water in his
  • son's presence, and only talked to his servants in a very reserved and
  • polite manner; and those persons remarked that Sir Pitt never swore at
  • Lady Crawley while his son was in the room.
  • It was he who taught the butler to say, "My lady is served," and who
  • insisted on handing her ladyship in to dinner. He seldom spoke to her,
  • but when he did it was with the most powerful respect; and he never let
  • her quit the apartment without rising in the most stately manner to
  • open the door, and making an elegant bow at her egress.
  • At Eton he was called Miss Crawley; and there, I am sorry to say, his
  • younger brother Rawdon used to lick him violently. But though his
  • parts were not brilliant, he made up for his lack of talent by
  • meritorious industry, and was never known, during eight years at
  • school, to be subject to that punishment which it is generally thought
  • none but a cherub can escape.
  • At college his career was of course highly creditable. And here he
  • prepared himself for public life, into which he was to be introduced by
  • the patronage of his grandfather, Lord Binkie, by studying the ancient
  • and modern orators with great assiduity, and by speaking unceasingly at
  • the debating societies. But though he had a fine flux of words, and
  • delivered his little voice with great pomposity and pleasure to
  • himself, and never advanced any sentiment or opinion which was not
  • perfectly trite and stale, and supported by a Latin quotation; yet he
  • failed somehow, in spite of a mediocrity which ought to have insured
  • any man a success. He did not even get the prize poem, which all his
  • friends said he was sure of.
  • After leaving college he became Private Secretary to Lord Binkie, and
  • was then appointed Attache to the Legation at Pumpernickel, which post
  • he filled with perfect honour, and brought home despatches, consisting
  • of Strasburg pie, to the Foreign Minister of the day. After remaining
  • ten years Attache (several years after the lamented Lord Binkie's
  • demise), and finding the advancement slow, he at length gave up the
  • diplomatic service in some disgust, and began to turn country gentleman.
  • He wrote a pamphlet on Malt on returning to England (for he was an
  • ambitious man, and always liked to be before the public), and took a
  • strong part in the Negro Emancipation question. Then he became a
  • friend of Mr. Wilberforce's, whose politics he admired, and had that
  • famous correspondence with the Reverend Silas Hornblower, on the
  • Ashantee Mission. He was in London, if not for the Parliament session,
  • at least in May, for the religious meetings. In the country he was a
  • magistrate, and an active visitor and speaker among those destitute of
  • religious instruction. He was said to be paying his addresses to Lady
  • Jane Sheepshanks, Lord Southdown's third daughter, and whose sister,
  • Lady Emily, wrote those sweet tracts, "The Sailor's True Binnacle," and
  • "The Applewoman of Finchley Common."
  • Miss Sharp's accounts of his employment at Queen's Crawley were not
  • caricatures. He subjected the servants there to the devotional
  • exercises before mentioned, in which (and so much the better) he
  • brought his father to join. He patronised an Independent meeting-house
  • in Crawley parish, much to the indignation of his uncle the Rector, and
  • to the consequent delight of Sir Pitt, who was induced to go himself
  • once or twice, which occasioned some violent sermons at Crawley parish
  • church, directed point-blank at the Baronet's old Gothic pew there.
  • Honest Sir Pitt, however, did not feel the force of these discourses,
  • as he always took his nap during sermon-time.
  • Mr. Crawley was very earnest, for the good of the nation and of the
  • Christian world, that the old gentleman should yield him up his place
  • in Parliament; but this the elder constantly refused to do. Both were
  • of course too prudent to give up the fifteen hundred a year which was
  • brought in by the second seat (at this period filled by Mr. Quadroon,
  • with carte blanche on the Slave question); indeed the family estate was
  • much embarrassed, and the income drawn from the borough was of great
  • use to the house of Queen's Crawley.
  • It had never recovered the heavy fine imposed upon Walpole Crawley,
  • first baronet, for peculation in the Tape and Sealing Wax Office. Sir
  • Walpole was a jolly fellow, eager to seize and to spend money (alieni
  • appetens, sui profusus, as Mr. Crawley would remark with a sigh), and
  • in his day beloved by all the county for the constant drunkenness and
  • hospitality which was maintained at Queen's Crawley. The cellars were
  • filled with burgundy then, the kennels with hounds, and the stables
  • with gallant hunters; now, such horses as Queen's Crawley possessed
  • went to plough, or ran in the Trafalgar Coach; and it was with a team
  • of these very horses, on an off-day, that Miss Sharp was brought to the
  • Hall; for boor as he was, Sir Pitt was a stickler for his dignity while
  • at home, and seldom drove out but with four horses, and though he dined
  • off boiled mutton, had always three footmen to serve it.
  • If mere parsimony could have made a man rich, Sir Pitt Crawley might
  • have become very wealthy--if he had been an attorney in a country town,
  • with no capital but his brains, it is very possible that he would have
  • turned them to good account, and might have achieved for himself a very
  • considerable influence and competency. But he was unluckily endowed
  • with a good name and a large though encumbered estate, both of which
  • went rather to injure than to advance him. He had a taste for law,
  • which cost him many thousands yearly; and being a great deal too clever
  • to be robbed, as he said, by any single agent, allowed his affairs to
  • be mismanaged by a dozen, whom he all equally mistrusted. He was such a
  • sharp landlord, that he could hardly find any but bankrupt tenants; and
  • such a close farmer, as to grudge almost the seed to the ground,
  • whereupon revengeful Nature grudged him the crops which she granted to
  • more liberal husbandmen. He speculated in every possible way; he worked
  • mines; bought canal-shares; horsed coaches; took government contracts,
  • and was the busiest man and magistrate of his county. As he would not
  • pay honest agents at his granite quarry, he had the satisfaction of
  • finding that four overseers ran away, and took fortunes with them to
  • America. For want of proper precautions, his coal-mines filled with
  • water: the government flung his contract of damaged beef upon his
  • hands: and for his coach-horses, every mail proprietor in the kingdom
  • knew that he lost more horses than any man in the country, from
  • underfeeding and buying cheap. In disposition he was sociable, and far
  • from being proud; nay, he rather preferred the society of a farmer or a
  • horse-dealer to that of a gentleman, like my lord, his son: he was fond
  • of drink, of swearing, of joking with the farmers' daughters: he was
  • never known to give away a shilling or to do a good action, but was of
  • a pleasant, sly, laughing mood, and would cut his joke and drink his
  • glass with a tenant and sell him up the next day; or have his laugh
  • with the poacher he was transporting with equal good humour. His
  • politeness for the fair sex has already been hinted at by Miss Rebecca
  • Sharp--in a word, the whole baronetage, peerage, commonage of England,
  • did not contain a more cunning, mean, selfish, foolish, disreputable
  • old man. That blood-red hand of Sir Pitt Crawley's would be in
  • anybody's pocket except his own; and it is with grief and pain, that,
  • as admirers of the British aristocracy, we find ourselves obliged to
  • admit the existence of so many ill qualities in a person whose name is
  • in Debrett.
  • One great cause why Mr. Crawley had such a hold over the affections of
  • his father, resulted from money arrangements. The Baronet owed his son
  • a sum of money out of the jointure of his mother, which he did not find
  • it convenient to pay; indeed he had an almost invincible repugnance to
  • paying anybody, and could only be brought by force to discharge his
  • debts. Miss Sharp calculated (for she became, as we shall hear
  • speedily, inducted into most of the secrets of the family) that the
  • mere payment of his creditors cost the honourable Baronet several
  • hundreds yearly; but this was a delight he could not forego; he had a
  • savage pleasure in making the poor wretches wait, and in shifting from
  • court to court and from term to term the period of satisfaction.
  • What's the good of being in Parliament, he said, if you must pay your
  • debts? Hence, indeed, his position as a senator was not a little useful
  • to him.
  • Vanity Fair--Vanity Fair! Here was a man, who could not spell, and did
  • not care to read--who had the habits and the cunning of a boor: whose
  • aim in life was pettifogging: who never had a taste, or emotion, or
  • enjoyment, but what was sordid and foul; and yet he had rank, and
  • honours, and power, somehow: and was a dignitary of the land, and a
  • pillar of the state. He was high sheriff, and rode in a golden coach.
  • Great ministers and statesmen courted him; and in Vanity Fair he had a
  • higher place than the most brilliant genius or spotless virtue.
  • Sir Pitt had an unmarried half-sister who inherited her mother's large
  • fortune, and though the Baronet proposed to borrow this money of her on
  • mortgage, Miss Crawley declined the offer, and preferred the security
  • of the funds. She had signified, however, her intention of leaving her
  • inheritance between Sir Pitt's second son and the family at the
  • Rectory, and had once or twice paid the debts of Rawdon Crawley in his
  • career at college and in the army. Miss Crawley was, in consequence, an
  • object of great respect when she came to Queen's Crawley, for she had a
  • balance at her banker's which would have made her beloved anywhere.
  • What a dignity it gives an old lady, that balance at the banker's! How
  • tenderly we look at her faults if she is a relative (and may every
  • reader have a score of such), what a kind good-natured old creature we
  • find her! How the junior partner of Hobbs and Dobbs leads her smiling
  • to the carriage with the lozenge upon it, and the fat wheezy coachman!
  • How, when she comes to pay us a visit, we generally find an opportunity
  • to let our friends know her station in the world! We say (and with
  • perfect truth) I wish I had Miss MacWhirter's signature to a cheque for
  • five thousand pounds. She wouldn't miss it, says your wife. She is my
  • aunt, say you, in an easy careless way, when your friend asks if Miss
  • MacWhirter is any relative. Your wife is perpetually sending her
  • little testimonies of affection, your little girls work endless worsted
  • baskets, cushions, and footstools for her. What a good fire there is
  • in her room when she comes to pay you a visit, although your wife laces
  • her stays without one! The house during her stay assumes a festive,
  • neat, warm, jovial, snug appearance not visible at other seasons. You
  • yourself, dear sir, forget to go to sleep after dinner, and find
  • yourself all of a sudden (though you invariably lose) very fond of a
  • rubber. What good dinners you have--game every day, Malmsey-Madeira,
  • and no end of fish from London. Even the servants in the kitchen share
  • in the general prosperity; and, somehow, during the stay of Miss
  • MacWhirter's fat coachman, the beer is grown much stronger, and the
  • consumption of tea and sugar in the nursery (where her maid takes her
  • meals) is not regarded in the least. Is it so, or is it not so? I
  • appeal to the middle classes. Ah, gracious powers! I wish you would
  • send me an old aunt--a maiden aunt--an aunt with a lozenge on her
  • carriage, and a front of light coffee-coloured hair--how my children
  • should work workbags for her, and my Julia and I would make her
  • comfortable! Sweet--sweet vision! Foolish--foolish dream!
  • CHAPTER X
  • Miss Sharp Begins to Make Friends
  • And now, being received as a member of the amiable family whose
  • portraits we have sketched in the foregoing pages, it became naturally
  • Rebecca's duty to make herself, as she said, agreeable to her
  • benefactors, and to gain their confidence to the utmost of her power.
  • Who can but admire this quality of gratitude in an unprotected orphan;
  • and, if there entered some degree of selfishness into her calculations,
  • who can say but that her prudence was perfectly justifiable? "I am
  • alone in the world," said the friendless girl. "I have nothing to look
  • for but what my own labour can bring me; and while that little
  • pink-faced chit Amelia, with not half my sense, has ten thousand pounds
  • and an establishment secure, poor Rebecca (and my figure is far better
  • than hers) has only herself and her own wits to trust to. Well, let us
  • see if my wits cannot provide me with an honourable maintenance, and if
  • some day or the other I cannot show Miss Amelia my real superiority
  • over her. Not that I dislike poor Amelia: who can dislike such a
  • harmless, good-natured creature?--only it will be a fine day when I can
  • take my place above her in the world, as why, indeed, should I not?"
  • Thus it was that our little romantic friend formed visions of the
  • future for herself--nor must we be scandalised that, in all her castles
  • in the air, a husband was the principal inhabitant. Of what else have
  • young ladies to think, but husbands? Of what else do their dear mammas
  • think? "I must be my own mamma," said Rebecca; not without a tingling
  • consciousness of defeat, as she thought over her little misadventure
  • with Jos Sedley.
  • So she wisely determined to render her position with the Queen's
  • Crawley family comfortable and secure, and to this end resolved to make
  • friends of every one around her who could at all interfere with her
  • comfort.
  • As my Lady Crawley was not one of these personages, and a woman,
  • moreover, so indolent and void of character as not to be of the least
  • consequence in her own house, Rebecca soon found that it was not at all
  • necessary to cultivate her good will--indeed, impossible to gain it.
  • She used to talk to her pupils about their "poor mamma"; and, though
  • she treated that lady with every demonstration of cool respect, it was
  • to the rest of the family that she wisely directed the chief part of
  • her attentions.
  • With the young people, whose applause she thoroughly gained, her method
  • was pretty simple. She did not pester their young brains with too much
  • learning, but, on the contrary, let them have their own way in regard
  • to educating themselves; for what instruction is more effectual than
  • self-instruction? The eldest was rather fond of books, and as there was
  • in the old library at Queen's Crawley a considerable provision of works
  • of light literature of the last century, both in the French and English
  • languages (they had been purchased by the Secretary of the Tape and
  • Sealing Wax Office at the period of his disgrace), and as nobody ever
  • troubled the bookshelves but herself, Rebecca was enabled agreeably,
  • and, as it were, in playing, to impart a great deal of instruction to
  • Miss Rose Crawley.
  • She and Miss Rose thus read together many delightful French and English
  • works, among which may be mentioned those of the learned Dr. Smollett,
  • of the ingenious Mr. Henry Fielding, of the graceful and fantastic
  • Monsieur Crebillon the younger, whom our immortal poet Gray so much
  • admired, and of the universal Monsieur de Voltaire. Once, when Mr.
  • Crawley asked what the young people were reading, the governess replied
  • "Smollett." "Oh, Smollett," said Mr. Crawley, quite satisfied. "His
  • history is more dull, but by no means so dangerous as that of Mr. Hume.
  • It is history you are reading?" "Yes," said Miss Rose; without,
  • however, adding that it was the history of Mr. Humphrey Clinker. On
  • another occasion he was rather scandalised at finding his sister with a
  • book of French plays; but as the governess remarked that it was for the
  • purpose of acquiring the French idiom in conversation, he was fain to
  • be content. Mr. Crawley, as a diplomatist, was exceedingly proud of
  • his own skill in speaking the French language (for he was of the world
  • still), and not a little pleased with the compliments which the
  • governess continually paid him upon his proficiency.
  • Miss Violet's tastes were, on the contrary, more rude and boisterous
  • than those of her sister. She knew the sequestered spots where the
  • hens laid their eggs. She could climb a tree to rob the nests of the
  • feathered songsters of their speckled spoils. And her pleasure was to
  • ride the young colts, and to scour the plains like Camilla. She was the
  • favourite of her father and of the stablemen. She was the darling, and
  • withal the terror of the cook; for she discovered the haunts of the
  • jam-pots, and would attack them when they were within her reach. She
  • and her sister were engaged in constant battles. Any of which
  • peccadilloes, if Miss Sharp discovered, she did not tell them to Lady
  • Crawley; who would have told them to the father, or worse, to Mr.
  • Crawley; but promised not to tell if Miss Violet would be a good girl
  • and love her governess.
  • With Mr. Crawley Miss Sharp was respectful and obedient. She used to
  • consult him on passages of French which she could not understand,
  • though her mother was a Frenchwoman, and which he would construe to her
  • satisfaction: and, besides giving her his aid in profane literature, he
  • was kind enough to select for her books of a more serious tendency, and
  • address to her much of his conversation. She admired, beyond measure,
  • his speech at the Quashimaboo-Aid Society; took an interest in his
  • pamphlet on malt: was often affected, even to tears, by his discourses
  • of an evening, and would say--"Oh, thank you, sir," with a sigh, and a
  • look up to heaven, that made him occasionally condescend to shake hands
  • with her. "Blood is everything, after all," would that aristocratic
  • religionist say. "How Miss Sharp is awakened by my words, when not one
  • of the people here is touched. I am too fine for them--too delicate. I
  • must familiarise my style--but she understands it. Her mother was a
  • Montmorency."
  • Indeed it was from this famous family, as it appears, that Miss Sharp,
  • by the mother's side, was descended. Of course she did not say that her
  • mother had been on the stage; it would have shocked Mr. Crawley's
  • religious scruples. How many noble emigres had this horrid revolution
  • plunged in poverty! She had several stories about her ancestors ere
  • she had been many months in the house; some of which Mr. Crawley
  • happened to find in D'Hozier's dictionary, which was in the library,
  • and which strengthened his belief in their truth, and in the
  • high-breeding of Rebecca. Are we to suppose from this curiosity and
  • prying into dictionaries, could our heroine suppose that Mr. Crawley
  • was interested in her?--no, only in a friendly way. Have we not stated
  • that he was attached to Lady Jane Sheepshanks?
  • He took Rebecca to task once or twice about the propriety of playing at
  • backgammon with Sir Pitt, saying that it was a godless amusement, and
  • that she would be much better engaged in reading "Thrump's Legacy," or
  • "The Blind Washerwoman of Moorfields," or any work of a more serious
  • nature; but Miss Sharp said her dear mother used often to play the same
  • game with the old Count de Trictrac and the venerable Abbe du Cornet,
  • and so found an excuse for this and other worldly amusements.
  • But it was not only by playing at backgammon with the Baronet, that the
  • little governess rendered herself agreeable to her employer. She found
  • many different ways of being useful to him. She read over, with
  • indefatigable patience, all those law papers, with which, before she
  • came to Queen's Crawley, he had promised to entertain her. She
  • volunteered to copy many of his letters, and adroitly altered the
  • spelling of them so as to suit the usages of the present day. She
  • became interested in everything appertaining to the estate, to the
  • farm, the park, the garden, and the stables; and so delightful a
  • companion was she, that the Baronet would seldom take his
  • after-breakfast walk without her (and the children of course), when she
  • would give her advice as to the trees which were to be lopped in the
  • shrubberies, the garden-beds to be dug, the crops which were to be cut,
  • the horses which were to go to cart or plough. Before she had been a
  • year at Queen's Crawley she had quite won the Baronet's confidence; and
  • the conversation at the dinner-table, which before used to be held
  • between him and Mr. Horrocks the butler, was now almost exclusively
  • between Sir Pitt and Miss Sharp. She was almost mistress of the house
  • when Mr. Crawley was absent, but conducted herself in her new and
  • exalted situation with such circumspection and modesty as not to offend
  • the authorities of the kitchen and stable, among whom her behaviour was
  • always exceedingly modest and affable. She was quite a different
  • person from the haughty, shy, dissatisfied little girl whom we have
  • known previously, and this change of temper proved great prudence, a
  • sincere desire of amendment, or at any rate great moral courage on her
  • part. Whether it was the heart which dictated this new system of
  • complaisance and humility adopted by our Rebecca, is to be proved by
  • her after-history. A system of hypocrisy, which lasts through whole
  • years, is one seldom satisfactorily practised by a person of
  • one-and-twenty; however, our readers will recollect, that, though young
  • in years, our heroine was old in life and experience, and we have
  • written to no purpose if they have not discovered that she was a very
  • clever woman.
  • The elder and younger son of the house of Crawley were, like the
  • gentleman and lady in the weather-box, never at home together--they
  • hated each other cordially: indeed, Rawdon Crawley, the dragoon, had a
  • great contempt for the establishment altogether, and seldom came
  • thither except when his aunt paid her annual visit.
  • The great good quality of this old lady has been mentioned. She
  • possessed seventy thousand pounds, and had almost adopted Rawdon. She
  • disliked her elder nephew exceedingly, and despised him as a milksop.
  • In return he did not hesitate to state that her soul was irretrievably
  • lost, and was of opinion that his brother's chance in the next world
  • was not a whit better. "She is a godless woman of the world," would
  • Mr. Crawley say; "she lives with atheists and Frenchmen. My mind
  • shudders when I think of her awful, awful situation, and that, near as
  • she is to the grave, she should be so given up to vanity,
  • licentiousness, profaneness, and folly." In fact, the old lady declined
  • altogether to hear his hour's lecture of an evening; and when she came
  • to Queen's Crawley alone, he was obliged to pretermit his usual
  • devotional exercises.
  • "Shut up your sarmons, Pitt, when Miss Crawley comes down," said his
  • father; "she has written to say that she won't stand the preachifying."
  • "O, sir! consider the servants."
  • "The servants be hanged," said Sir Pitt; and his son thought even worse
  • would happen were they deprived of the benefit of his instruction.
  • "Why, hang it, Pitt!" said the father to his remonstrance. "You
  • wouldn't be such a flat as to let three thousand a year go out of the
  • family?"
  • "What is money compared to our souls, sir?" continued Mr. Crawley.
  • "You mean that the old lady won't leave the money to you?"--and who
  • knows but it was Mr. Crawley's meaning?
  • Old Miss Crawley was certainly one of the reprobate. She had a snug
  • little house in Park Lane, and, as she ate and drank a great deal too
  • much during the season in London, she went to Harrowgate or Cheltenham
  • for the summer. She was the most hospitable and jovial of old vestals,
  • and had been a beauty in her day, she said. (All old women were
  • beauties once, we very well know.) She was a bel esprit, and a dreadful
  • Radical for those days. She had been in France (where St. Just, they
  • say, inspired her with an unfortunate passion), and loved, ever after,
  • French novels, French cookery, and French wines. She read Voltaire,
  • and had Rousseau by heart; talked very lightly about divorce, and most
  • energetically of the rights of women. She had pictures of Mr. Fox in
  • every room in the house: when that statesman was in opposition, I am
  • not sure that she had not flung a main with him; and when he came into
  • office, she took great credit for bringing over to him Sir Pitt and his
  • colleague for Queen's Crawley, although Sir Pitt would have come over
  • himself, without any trouble on the honest lady's part. It is needless
  • to say that Sir Pitt was brought to change his views after the death of
  • the great Whig statesman.
  • This worthy old lady took a fancy to Rawdon Crawley when a boy, sent
  • him to Cambridge (in opposition to his brother at Oxford), and, when
  • the young man was requested by the authorities of the first-named
  • University to quit after a residence of two years, she bought him his
  • commission in the Life Guards Green.
  • A perfect and celebrated "blood," or dandy about town, was this young
  • officer. Boxing, rat-hunting, the fives court, and four-in-hand
  • driving were then the fashion of our British aristocracy; and he was an
  • adept in all these noble sciences. And though he belonged to the
  • household troops, who, as it was their duty to rally round the Prince
  • Regent, had not shown their valour in foreign service yet, Rawdon
  • Crawley had already (apropos of play, of which he was immoderately
  • fond) fought three bloody duels, in which he gave ample proofs of his
  • contempt for death.
  • "And for what follows after death," would Mr. Crawley observe, throwing
  • his gooseberry-coloured eyes up to the ceiling. He was always thinking
  • of his brother's soul, or of the souls of those who differed with him
  • in opinion: it is a sort of comfort which many of the serious give
  • themselves.
  • Silly, romantic Miss Crawley, far from being horrified at the courage
  • of her favourite, always used to pay his debts after his duels; and
  • would not listen to a word that was whispered against his morality.
  • "He will sow his wild oats," she would say, "and is worth far more than
  • that puling hypocrite of a brother of his."
  • CHAPTER XI
  • Arcadian Simplicity
  • Besides these honest folks at the Hall (whose simplicity and sweet
  • rural purity surely show the advantage of a country life over a town
  • one), we must introduce the reader to their relatives and neighbours at
  • the Rectory, Bute Crawley and his wife.
  • The Reverend Bute Crawley was a tall, stately, jolly, shovel-hatted
  • man, far more popular in his county than the Baronet his brother. At
  • college he pulled stroke-oar in the Christchurch boat, and had thrashed
  • all the best bruisers of the "town." He carried his taste for boxing
  • and athletic exercises into private life; there was not a fight within
  • twenty miles at which he was not present, nor a race, nor a coursing
  • match, nor a regatta, nor a ball, nor an election, nor a visitation
  • dinner, nor indeed a good dinner in the whole county, but he found
  • means to attend it. You might see his bay mare and gig-lamps a score
  • of miles away from his Rectory House, whenever there was any
  • dinner-party at Fuddleston, or at Roxby, or at Wapshot Hall, or at the
  • great lords of the county, with all of whom he was intimate. He had a
  • fine voice; sang "A southerly wind and a cloudy sky"; and gave the
  • "whoop" in chorus with general applause. He rode to hounds in a
  • pepper-and-salt frock, and was one of the best fishermen in the county.
  • Mrs. Crawley, the rector's wife, was a smart little body, who wrote
  • this worthy divine's sermons. Being of a domestic turn, and keeping
  • the house a great deal with her daughters, she ruled absolutely within
  • the Rectory, wisely giving her husband full liberty without. He was
  • welcome to come and go, and dine abroad as many days as his fancy
  • dictated, for Mrs. Crawley was a saving woman and knew the price of
  • port wine. Ever since Mrs. Bute carried off the young Rector of
  • Queen's Crawley (she was of a good family, daughter of the late
  • Lieut.-Colonel Hector McTavish, and she and her mother played for Bute
  • and won him at Harrowgate), she had been a prudent and thrifty wife to
  • him. In spite of her care, however, he was always in debt. It took
  • him at least ten years to pay off his college bills contracted during
  • his father's lifetime. In the year 179-, when he was just clear of
  • these incumbrances, he gave the odds of 100 to 1 (in twenties) against
  • Kangaroo, who won the Derby. The Rector was obliged to take up the
  • money at a ruinous interest, and had been struggling ever since. His
  • sister helped him with a hundred now and then, but of course his great
  • hope was in her death--when "hang it" (as he would say), "Matilda must
  • leave me half her money."
  • So that the Baronet and his brother had every reason which two brothers
  • possibly can have for being by the ears. Sir Pitt had had the better
  • of Bute in innumerable family transactions. Young Pitt not only did
  • not hunt, but set up a meeting house under his uncle's very nose.
  • Rawdon, it was known, was to come in for the bulk of Miss Crawley's
  • property. These money transactions--these speculations in life and
  • death--these silent battles for reversionary spoil--make brothers very
  • loving towards each other in Vanity Fair. I, for my part, have known a
  • five-pound note to interpose and knock up a half century's attachment
  • between two brethren; and can't but admire, as I think what a fine and
  • durable thing Love is among worldly people.
  • It cannot be supposed that the arrival of such a personage as Rebecca
  • at Queen's Crawley, and her gradual establishment in the good graces of
  • all people there, could be unremarked by Mrs. Bute Crawley. Mrs. Bute,
  • who knew how many days the sirloin of beef lasted at the Hall; how much
  • linen was got ready at the great wash; how many peaches were on the
  • south wall; how many doses her ladyship took when she was ill--for such
  • points are matters of intense interest to certain persons in the
  • country--Mrs. Bute, I say, could not pass over the Hall governess
  • without making every inquiry respecting her history and character.
  • There was always the best understanding between the servants at the
  • Rectory and the Hall. There was always a good glass of ale in the
  • kitchen of the former place for the Hall people, whose ordinary drink
  • was very small--and, indeed, the Rector's lady knew exactly how much
  • malt went to every barrel of Hall beer--ties of relationship existed
  • between the Hall and Rectory domestics, as between their masters; and
  • through these channels each family was perfectly well acquainted with
  • the doings of the other. That, by the way, may be set down as a
  • general remark. When you and your brother are friends, his doings are
  • indifferent to you. When you have quarrelled, all his outgoings and
  • incomings you know, as if you were his spy.
  • Very soon then after her arrival, Rebecca began to take a regular place
  • in Mrs. Crawley's bulletin from the Hall. It was to this effect: "The
  • black porker's killed--weighed x stone--salted the sides--pig's pudding
  • and leg of pork for dinner. Mr. Cramp from Mudbury, over with Sir Pitt
  • about putting John Blackmore in gaol--Mr. Pitt at meeting (with all the
  • names of the people who attended)--my lady as usual--the young ladies
  • with the governess."
  • Then the report would come--the new governess be a rare manager--Sir
  • Pitt be very sweet on her--Mr. Crawley too--He be reading tracts to
  • her--"What an abandoned wretch!" said little, eager, active,
  • black-faced Mrs. Bute Crawley.
  • Finally, the reports were that the governess had "come round"
  • everybody, wrote Sir Pitt's letters, did his business, managed his
  • accounts--had the upper hand of the whole house, my lady, Mr. Crawley,
  • the girls and all--at which Mrs. Crawley declared she was an artful
  • hussy, and had some dreadful designs in view. Thus the doings at the
  • Hall were the great food for conversation at the Rectory, and Mrs.
  • Bute's bright eyes spied out everything that took place in the enemy's
  • camp--everything and a great deal besides.
  • Mrs. Bute Crawley to Miss Pinkerton, The Mall, Chiswick.
  • Rectory, Queen's Crawley, December--.
  • My Dear Madam,--Although it is so many years since I profited by your
  • delightful and invaluable instructions, yet I have ever retained the
  • FONDEST and most reverential regard for Miss Pinkerton, and DEAR
  • Chiswick. I hope your health is GOOD. The world and the cause of
  • education cannot afford to lose Miss Pinkerton for MANY MANY YEARS.
  • When my friend, Lady Fuddleston, mentioned that her dear girls required
  • an instructress (I am too poor to engage a governess for mine, but was
  • I not educated at Chiswick?)--"Who," I exclaimed, "can we consult but
  • the excellent, the incomparable Miss Pinkerton?" In a word, have you,
  • dear madam, any ladies on your list, whose services might be made
  • available to my kind friend and neighbour? I assure you she will take
  • no governess BUT OF YOUR CHOOSING.
  • My dear husband is pleased to say that he likes EVERYTHING WHICH COMES
  • FROM MISS PINKERTON'S SCHOOL. How I wish I could present him and my
  • beloved girls to the friend of my youth, and the ADMIRED of the great
  • lexicographer of our country! If you ever travel into Hampshire, Mr.
  • Crawley begs me to say, he hopes you will adorn our RURAL RECTORY with
  • your presence. 'Tis the humble but happy home of
  • Your affectionate Martha Crawley
  • P.S. Mr. Crawley's brother, the baronet, with whom we are not, alas!
  • upon those terms of UNITY in which it BECOMES BRETHREN TO DWELL, has a
  • governess for his little girls, who, I am told, had the good fortune to
  • be educated at Chiswick. I hear various reports of her; and as I have
  • the tenderest interest in my dearest little nieces, whom I wish, in
  • spite of family differences, to see among my own children--and as I
  • long to be attentive to ANY PUPIL OF YOURS--do, my dear Miss Pinkerton,
  • tell me the history of this young lady, whom, for YOUR SAKE, I am most
  • anxious to befriend.--M. C.
  • Miss Pinkerton to Mrs. Bute Crawley.
  • Johnson House, Chiswick, Dec. 18--.
  • Dear Madam,--I have the honour to acknowledge your polite
  • communication, to which I promptly reply. 'Tis most gratifying to one
  • in my most arduous position to find that my maternal cares have
  • elicited a responsive affection; and to recognize in the amiable Mrs.
  • Bute Crawley my excellent pupil of former years, the sprightly and
  • accomplished Miss Martha MacTavish. I am happy to have under my charge
  • now the daughters of many of those who were your contemporaries at my
  • establishment--what pleasure it would give me if your own beloved young
  • ladies had need of my instructive superintendence!
  • Presenting my respectful compliments to Lady Fuddleston, I have the
  • honour (epistolarily) to introduce to her ladyship my two friends, Miss
  • Tuffin and Miss Hawky.
  • Either of these young ladies is PERFECTLY QUALIFIED to instruct in
  • Greek, Latin, and the rudiments of Hebrew; in mathematics and history;
  • in Spanish, French, Italian, and geography; in music, vocal and
  • instrumental; in dancing, without the aid of a master; and in the
  • elements of natural sciences. In the use of the globes both are
  • proficients. In addition to these Miss Tuffin, who is daughter of the
  • late Reverend Thomas Tuffin (Fellow of Corpus College, Cambridge), can
  • instruct in the Syriac language, and the elements of Constitutional
  • law. But as she is only eighteen years of age, and of exceedingly
  • pleasing personal appearance, perhaps this young lady may be
  • objectionable in Sir Huddleston Fuddleston's family.
  • Miss Letitia Hawky, on the other hand, is not personally well-favoured.
  • She is twenty-nine; her face is much pitted with the small-pox. She
  • has a halt in her gait, red hair, and a trifling obliquity of vision.
  • Both ladies are endowed with EVERY MORAL AND RELIGIOUS VIRTUE. Their
  • terms, of course, are such as their accomplishments merit. With my
  • most grateful respects to the Reverend Bute Crawley, I have the honour
  • to be,
  • Dear Madam,
  • Your most faithful and obedient servant, Barbara Pinkerton.
  • P.S. The Miss Sharp, whom you mention as governess to Sir Pitt
  • Crawley, Bart., M.P., was a pupil of mine, and I have nothing to say in
  • her disfavour. Though her appearance is disagreeable, we cannot control
  • the operations of nature: and though her parents were disreputable (her
  • father being a painter, several times bankrupt, and her mother, as I
  • have since learned, with horror, a dancer at the Opera); yet her
  • talents are considerable, and I cannot regret that I received her OUT
  • OF CHARITY. My dread is, lest the principles of the mother--who was
  • represented to me as a French Countess, forced to emigrate in the late
  • revolutionary horrors; but who, as I have since found, was a person of
  • the very lowest order and morals--should at any time prove to be
  • HEREDITARY in the unhappy young woman whom I took as AN OUTCAST. But
  • her principles have hitherto been correct (I believe), and I am sure
  • nothing will occur to injure them in the elegant and refined circle of
  • the eminent Sir Pitt Crawley.
  • Miss Rebecca Sharp to Miss Amelia Sedley.
  • I have not written to my beloved Amelia for these many weeks past, for
  • what news was there to tell of the sayings and doings at Humdrum Hall,
  • as I have christened it; and what do you care whether the turnip crop
  • is good or bad; whether the fat pig weighed thirteen stone or fourteen;
  • and whether the beasts thrive well upon mangelwurzel? Every day since I
  • last wrote has been like its neighbour. Before breakfast, a walk with
  • Sir Pitt and his spud; after breakfast studies (such as they are) in
  • the schoolroom; after schoolroom, reading and writing about lawyers,
  • leases, coal-mines, canals, with Sir Pitt (whose secretary I am
  • become); after dinner, Mr. Crawley's discourses on the baronet's
  • backgammon; during both of which amusements my lady looks on with equal
  • placidity. She has become rather more interesting by being ailing of
  • late, which has brought a new visitor to the Hall, in the person of a
  • young doctor. Well, my dear, young women need never despair. The young
  • doctor gave a certain friend of yours to understand that, if she chose
  • to be Mrs. Glauber, she was welcome to ornament the surgery! I told his
  • impudence that the gilt pestle and mortar was quite ornament enough; as
  • if I was born, indeed, to be a country surgeon's wife! Mr. Glauber went
  • home seriously indisposed at his rebuff, took a cooling draught, and is
  • now quite cured. Sir Pitt applauded my resolution highly; he would be
  • sorry to lose his little secretary, I think; and I believe the old
  • wretch likes me as much as it is in his nature to like any one. Marry,
  • indeed! and with a country apothecary, after-- No, no, one cannot so
  • soon forget old associations, about which I will talk no more. Let us
  • return to Humdrum Hall.
  • For some time past it is Humdrum Hall no longer. My dear, Miss Crawley
  • has arrived with her fat horses, fat servants, fat spaniel--the great
  • rich Miss Crawley, with seventy thousand pounds in the five per cents.,
  • whom, or I had better say WHICH, her two brothers adore. She looks
  • very apoplectic, the dear soul; no wonder her brothers are anxious
  • about her. You should see them struggling to settle her cushions, or
  • to hand her coffee! "When I come into the country," she says (for she
  • has a great deal of humour), "I leave my toady, Miss Briggs, at home.
  • My brothers are my toadies here, my dear, and a pretty pair they are!"
  • When she comes into the country our hall is thrown open, and for a
  • month, at least, you would fancy old Sir Walpole was come to life
  • again. We have dinner-parties, and drive out in the coach-and-four--the
  • footmen put on their newest canary-coloured liveries; we drink claret
  • and champagne as if we were accustomed to it every day. We have wax
  • candles in the schoolroom, and fires to warm ourselves with. Lady
  • Crawley is made to put on the brightest pea-green in her wardrobe, and
  • my pupils leave off their thick shoes and tight old tartan pelisses,
  • and wear silk stockings and muslin frocks, as fashionable baronets'
  • daughters should. Rose came in yesterday in a sad plight--the
  • Wiltshire sow (an enormous pet of hers) ran her down, and destroyed a
  • most lovely flowered lilac silk dress by dancing over it--had this
  • happened a week ago, Sir Pitt would have sworn frightfully, have boxed
  • the poor wretch's ears, and put her upon bread and water for a month.
  • All he said was, "I'll serve you out, Miss, when your aunt's gone," and
  • laughed off the accident as quite trivial. Let us hope his wrath will
  • have passed away before Miss Crawley's departure. I hope so, for Miss
  • Rose's sake, I am sure. What a charming reconciler and peacemaker money
  • is!
  • Another admirable effect of Miss Crawley and her seventy thousand
  • pounds is to be seen in the conduct of the two brothers Crawley. I
  • mean the baronet and the rector, not OUR brothers--but the former, who
  • hate each other all the year round, become quite loving at Christmas.
  • I wrote to you last year how the abominable horse-racing rector was in
  • the habit of preaching clumsy sermons at us at church, and how Sir Pitt
  • snored in answer. When Miss Crawley arrives there is no such thing as
  • quarrelling heard of--the Hall visits the Rectory, and vice versa--the
  • parson and the Baronet talk about the pigs and the poachers, and the
  • county business, in the most affable manner, and without quarrelling in
  • their cups, I believe--indeed Miss Crawley won't hear of their
  • quarrelling, and vows that she will leave her money to the Shropshire
  • Crawleys if they offend her. If they were clever people, those
  • Shropshire Crawleys, they might have it all, I think; but the
  • Shropshire Crawley is a clergyman like his Hampshire cousin, and
  • mortally offended Miss Crawley (who had fled thither in a fit of rage
  • against her impracticable brethren) by some strait-laced notions of
  • morality. He would have prayers in the house, I believe.
  • Our sermon books are shut up when Miss Crawley arrives, and Mr. Pitt,
  • whom she abominates, finds it convenient to go to town. On the other
  • hand, the young dandy--"blood," I believe, is the term--Captain Crawley
  • makes his appearance, and I suppose you will like to know what sort of
  • a person he is.
  • Well, he is a very large young dandy. He is six feet high, and speaks
  • with a great voice; and swears a great deal; and orders about the
  • servants, who all adore him nevertheless; for he is very generous of
  • his money, and the domestics will do anything for him. Last week the
  • keepers almost killed a bailiff and his man who came down from London
  • to arrest the Captain, and who were found lurking about the Park
  • wall--they beat them, ducked them, and were going to shoot them for
  • poachers, but the baronet interfered.
  • The Captain has a hearty contempt for his father, I can see, and calls
  • him an old PUT, an old SNOB, an old CHAW-BACON, and numberless other
  • pretty names. He has a DREADFUL REPUTATION among the ladies. He brings
  • his hunters home with him, lives with the Squires of the county, asks
  • whom he pleases to dinner, and Sir Pitt dares not say no, for fear of
  • offending Miss Crawley, and missing his legacy when she dies of her
  • apoplexy. Shall I tell you a compliment the Captain paid me? I must,
  • it is so pretty. One evening we actually had a dance; there was Sir
  • Huddleston Fuddleston and his family, Sir Giles Wapshot and his young
  • ladies, and I don't know how many more. Well, I heard him say--"By
  • Jove, she's a neat little filly!" meaning your humble servant; and he
  • did me the honour to dance two country-dances with me. He gets on
  • pretty gaily with the young Squires, with whom he drinks, bets, rides,
  • and talks about hunting and shooting; but he says the country girls are
  • BORES; indeed, I don't think he is far wrong. You should see the
  • contempt with which they look down on poor me! When they dance I sit
  • and play the piano very demurely; but the other night, coming in rather
  • flushed from the dining-room, and seeing me employed in this way, he
  • swore out loud that I was the best dancer in the room, and took a great
  • oath that he would have the fiddlers from Mudbury.
  • "I'll go and play a country-dance," said Mrs. Bute Crawley, very
  • readily (she is a little, black-faced old woman in a turban, rather
  • crooked, and with very twinkling eyes); and after the Captain and your
  • poor little Rebecca had performed a dance together, do you know she
  • actually did me the honour to compliment me upon my steps! Such a thing
  • was never heard of before; the proud Mrs. Bute Crawley, first cousin to
  • the Earl of Tiptoff, who won't condescend to visit Lady Crawley, except
  • when her sister is in the country. Poor Lady Crawley! during most part
  • of these gaieties, she is upstairs taking pills.
  • Mrs. Bute has all of a sudden taken a great fancy to me. "My dear Miss
  • Sharp," she says, "why not bring over your girls to the Rectory?--their
  • cousins will be so happy to see them." I know what she means. Signor
  • Clementi did not teach us the piano for nothing; at which price Mrs.
  • Bute hopes to get a professor for her children. I can see through her
  • schemes, as though she told them to me; but I shall go, as I am
  • determined to make myself agreeable--is it not a poor governess's duty,
  • who has not a friend or protector in the world? The Rector's wife paid
  • me a score of compliments about the progress my pupils made, and
  • thought, no doubt, to touch my heart--poor, simple, country soul!--as
  • if I cared a fig about my pupils!
  • Your India muslin and your pink silk, dearest Amelia, are said to
  • become me very well. They are a good deal worn now; but, you know, we
  • poor girls can't afford des fraiches toilettes. Happy, happy you! who
  • have but to drive to St. James's Street, and a dear mother who will
  • give you any thing you ask. Farewell, dearest girl,
  • Your affectionate Rebecca.
  • P.S.--I wish you could have seen the faces of the Miss Blackbrooks
  • (Admiral Blackbrook's daughters, my dear), fine young ladies, with
  • dresses from London, when Captain Rawdon selected poor me for a partner!
  • When Mrs. Bute Crawley (whose artifices our ingenious Rebecca had so
  • soon discovered) had procured from Miss Sharp the promise of a visit,
  • she induced the all-powerful Miss Crawley to make the necessary
  • application to Sir Pitt, and the good-natured old lady, who loved to be
  • gay herself, and to see every one gay and happy round about her, was
  • quite charmed, and ready to establish a reconciliation and intimacy
  • between her two brothers. It was therefore agreed that the young people
  • of both families should visit each other frequently for the future, and
  • the friendship of course lasted as long as the jovial old mediatrix was
  • there to keep the peace.
  • "Why did you ask that scoundrel, Rawdon Crawley, to dine?" said the
  • Rector to his lady, as they were walking home through the park. "I
  • don't want the fellow. He looks down upon us country people as so many
  • blackamoors. He's never content unless he gets my yellow-sealed wine,
  • which costs me ten shillings a bottle, hang him! Besides, he's such an
  • infernal character--he's a gambler--he's a drunkard--he's a profligate
  • in every way. He shot a man in a duel--he's over head and ears in
  • debt, and he's robbed me and mine of the best part of Miss Crawley's
  • fortune. Waxy says she has him"--here the Rector shook his fist at the
  • moon, with something very like an oath, and added, in a melancholious
  • tone, "--down in her will for fifty thousand; and there won't be above
  • thirty to divide."
  • "I think she's going," said the Rector's wife. "She was very red in
  • the face when we left dinner. I was obliged to unlace her."
  • "She drank seven glasses of champagne," said the reverend gentleman, in
  • a low voice; "and filthy champagne it is, too, that my brother poisons
  • us with--but you women never know what's what."
  • "We know nothing," said Mrs. Bute Crawley.
  • "She drank cherry-brandy after dinner," continued his Reverence, "and
  • took curacao with her coffee. I wouldn't take a glass for a five-pound
  • note: it kills me with heartburn. She can't stand it, Mrs.
  • Crawley--she must go--flesh and blood won't bear it! and I lay five to
  • two, Matilda drops in a year."
  • Indulging in these solemn speculations, and thinking about his debts,
  • and his son Jim at College, and Frank at Woolwich, and the four girls,
  • who were no beauties, poor things, and would not have a penny but what
  • they got from the aunt's expected legacy, the Rector and his lady
  • walked on for a while.
  • "Pitt can't be such an infernal villain as to sell the reversion of the
  • living. And that Methodist milksop of an eldest son looks to
  • Parliament," continued Mr. Crawley, after a pause.
  • "Sir Pitt Crawley will do anything," said the Rector's wife. "We must
  • get Miss Crawley to make him promise it to James."
  • "Pitt will promise anything," replied the brother. "He promised he'd
  • pay my college bills, when my father died; he promised he'd build the
  • new wing to the Rectory; he promised he'd let me have Jibb's field and
  • the Six-acre Meadow--and much he executed his promises! And it's to
  • this man's son--this scoundrel, gambler, swindler, murderer of a Rawdon
  • Crawley, that Matilda leaves the bulk of her money. I say it's
  • un-Christian. By Jove, it is. The infamous dog has got every vice
  • except hypocrisy, and that belongs to his brother."
  • "Hush, my dearest love! we're in Sir Pitt's grounds," interposed his
  • wife.
  • "I say he has got every vice, Mrs. Crawley. Don't Ma'am, bully me.
  • Didn't he shoot Captain Marker? Didn't he rob young Lord Dovedale at
  • the Cocoa-Tree? Didn't he cross the fight between Bill Soames and the
  • Cheshire Trump, by which I lost forty pound? You know he did; and as
  • for the women, why, you heard that before me, in my own magistrate's
  • room."
  • "For heaven's sake, Mr. Crawley," said the lady, "spare me the details."
  • "And you ask this villain into your house!" continued the exasperated
  • Rector. "You, the mother of a young family--the wife of a clergyman of
  • the Church of England. By Jove!"
  • "Bute Crawley, you are a fool," said the Rector's wife scornfully.
  • "Well, Ma'am, fool or not--and I don't say, Martha, I'm so clever as
  • you are, I never did. But I won't meet Rawdon Crawley, that's flat.
  • I'll go over to Huddleston, that I will, and see his black greyhound,
  • Mrs. Crawley; and I'll run Lancelot against him for fifty. By Jove, I
  • will; or against any dog in England. But I won't meet that beast
  • Rawdon Crawley."
  • "Mr. Crawley, you are intoxicated, as usual," replied his wife. And
  • the next morning, when the Rector woke, and called for small beer, she
  • put him in mind of his promise to visit Sir Huddleston Fuddleston on
  • Saturday, and as he knew he should have a wet night, it was agreed that
  • he might gallop back again in time for church on Sunday morning. Thus
  • it will be seen that the parishioners of Crawley were equally happy in
  • their Squire and in their Rector.
  • Miss Crawley had not long been established at the Hall before Rebecca's
  • fascinations had won the heart of that good-natured London rake, as
  • they had of the country innocents whom we have been describing. Taking
  • her accustomed drive, one day, she thought fit to order that "that
  • little governess" should accompany her to Mudbury. Before they had
  • returned Rebecca had made a conquest of her; having made her laugh four
  • times, and amused her during the whole of the little journey.
  • "Not let Miss Sharp dine at table!" said she to Sir Pitt, who had
  • arranged a dinner of ceremony, and asked all the neighbouring baronets.
  • "My dear creature, do you suppose I can talk about the nursery with
  • Lady Fuddleston, or discuss justices' business with that goose, old Sir
  • Giles Wapshot? I insist upon Miss Sharp appearing. Let Lady Crawley
  • remain upstairs, if there is no room. But little Miss Sharp! Why, she's
  • the only person fit to talk to in the county!"
  • Of course, after such a peremptory order as this, Miss Sharp, the
  • governess, received commands to dine with the illustrious company below
  • stairs. And when Sir Huddleston had, with great pomp and ceremony,
  • handed Miss Crawley in to dinner, and was preparing to take his place
  • by her side, the old lady cried out, in a shrill voice, "Becky Sharp!
  • Miss Sharp! Come you and sit by me and amuse me; and let Sir
  • Huddleston sit by Lady Wapshot."
  • When the parties were over, and the carriages had rolled away, the
  • insatiable Miss Crawley would say, "Come to my dressing room, Becky,
  • and let us abuse the company"--which, between them, this pair of
  • friends did perfectly. Old Sir Huddleston wheezed a great deal at
  • dinner; Sir Giles Wapshot had a particularly noisy manner of imbibing
  • his soup, and her ladyship a wink of the left eye; all of which Becky
  • caricatured to admiration; as well as the particulars of the night's
  • conversation; the politics; the war; the quarter-sessions; the famous
  • run with the H.H., and those heavy and dreary themes, about which
  • country gentlemen converse. As for the Misses Wapshot's toilettes and
  • Lady Fuddleston's famous yellow hat, Miss Sharp tore them to tatters,
  • to the infinite amusement of her audience.
  • "My dear, you are a perfect trouvaille," Miss Crawley would say. "I
  • wish you could come to me in London, but I couldn't make a butt of you
  • as I do of poor Briggs no, no, you little sly creature; you are too
  • clever--Isn't she, Firkin?"
  • Mrs. Firkin (who was dressing the very small remnant of hair which
  • remained on Miss Crawley's pate), flung up her head and said, "I think
  • Miss is very clever," with the most killing sarcastic air. In fact,
  • Mrs. Firkin had that natural jealousy which is one of the main
  • principles of every honest woman.
  • After rebuffing Sir Huddleston Fuddleston, Miss Crawley ordered that
  • Rawdon Crawley should lead her in to dinner every day, and that Becky
  • should follow with her cushion--or else she would have Becky's arm and
  • Rawdon with the pillow. "We must sit together," she said. "We're the
  • only three Christians in the county, my love"--in which case, it must
  • be confessed, that religion was at a very low ebb in the county of
  • Hants.
  • Besides being such a fine religionist, Miss Crawley was, as we have
  • said, an Ultra-liberal in opinions, and always took occasion to express
  • these in the most candid manner.
  • "What is birth, my dear!" she would say to Rebecca--"Look at my brother
  • Pitt; look at the Huddlestons, who have been here since Henry II; look
  • at poor Bute at the parsonage--is any one of them equal to you in
  • intelligence or breeding? Equal to you--they are not even equal to poor
  • dear Briggs, my companion, or Bowls, my butler. You, my love, are a
  • little paragon--positively a little jewel--You have more brains than
  • half the shire--if merit had its reward you ought to be a Duchess--no,
  • there ought to be no duchesses at all--but you ought to have no
  • superior, and I consider you, my love, as my equal in every respect;
  • and--will you put some coals on the fire, my dear; and will you pick
  • this dress of mine, and alter it, you who can do it so well?" So this
  • old philanthropist used to make her equal run of her errands, execute
  • her millinery, and read her to sleep with French novels, every night.
  • At this time, as some old readers may recollect, the genteel world had
  • been thrown into a considerable state of excitement by two events,
  • which, as the papers say, might give employment to the gentlemen of the
  • long robe. Ensign Shafton had run away with Lady Barbara Fitzurse, the
  • Earl of Bruin's daughter and heiress; and poor Vere Vane, a gentleman
  • who, up to forty, had maintained a most respectable character and
  • reared a numerous family, suddenly and outrageously left his home, for
  • the sake of Mrs. Rougemont, the actress, who was sixty-five years of
  • age.
  • "That was the most beautiful part of dear Lord Nelson's character,"
  • Miss Crawley said. "He went to the deuce for a woman. There must be
  • good in a man who will do that. I adore all imprudent matches.-- What
  • I like best, is for a nobleman to marry a miller's daughter, as Lord
  • Flowerdale did--it makes all the women so angry--I wish some great man
  • would run away with you, my dear; I'm sure you're pretty enough."
  • "Two post-boys!--Oh, it would be delightful!" Rebecca owned.
  • "And what I like next best, is for a poor fellow to run away with a
  • rich girl. I have set my heart on Rawdon running away with some one."
  • "A rich some one, or a poor some one?"
  • "Why, you goose! Rawdon has not a shilling but what I give him. He is
  • crible de dettes--he must repair his fortunes, and succeed in the
  • world."
  • "Is he very clever?" Rebecca asked.
  • "Clever, my love?--not an idea in the world beyond his horses, and his
  • regiment, and his hunting, and his play; but he must succeed--he's so
  • delightfully wicked. Don't you know he has hit a man, and shot an
  • injured father through the hat only? He's adored in his regiment; and
  • all the young men at Wattier's and the Cocoa-Tree swear by him."
  • When Miss Rebecca Sharp wrote to her beloved friend the account of the
  • little ball at Queen's Crawley, and the manner in which, for the first
  • time, Captain Crawley had distinguished her, she did not, strange to
  • relate, give an altogether accurate account of the transaction. The
  • Captain had distinguished her a great number of times before. The
  • Captain had met her in a half-score of walks. The Captain had lighted
  • upon her in a half-hundred of corridors and passages. The Captain had
  • hung over her piano twenty times of an evening (my Lady was now
  • upstairs, being ill, and nobody heeded her) as Miss Sharp sang. The
  • Captain had written her notes (the best that the great blundering
  • dragoon could devise and spell; but dulness gets on as well as any
  • other quality with women). But when he put the first of the notes into
  • the leaves of the song she was singing, the little governess, rising
  • and looking him steadily in the face, took up the triangular missive
  • daintily, and waved it about as if it were a cocked hat, and she,
  • advancing to the enemy, popped the note into the fire, and made him a
  • very low curtsey, and went back to her place, and began to sing away
  • again more merrily than ever.
  • "What's that?" said Miss Crawley, interrupted in her after-dinner doze
  • by the stoppage of the music.
  • "It's a false note," Miss Sharp said with a laugh; and Rawdon Crawley
  • fumed with rage and mortification.
  • Seeing the evident partiality of Miss Crawley for the new governess,
  • how good it was of Mrs. Bute Crawley not to be jealous, and to welcome
  • the young lady to the Rectory, and not only her, but Rawdon Crawley,
  • her husband's rival in the Old Maid's five per cents! They became very
  • fond of each other's society, Mrs. Crawley and her nephew. He gave up
  • hunting; he declined entertainments at Fuddleston: he would not dine
  • with the mess of the depot at Mudbury: his great pleasure was to stroll
  • over to Crawley parsonage--whither Miss Crawley came too; and as their
  • mamma was ill, why not the children with Miss Sharp? So the children
  • (little dears!) came with Miss Sharp; and of an evening some of the
  • party would walk back together. Not Miss Crawley--she preferred her
  • carriage--but the walk over the Rectory fields, and in at the little
  • park wicket, and through the dark plantation, and up the checkered
  • avenue to Queen's Crawley, was charming in the moonlight to two such
  • lovers of the picturesque as the Captain and Miss Rebecca.
  • "O those stars, those stars!" Miss Rebecca would say, turning her
  • twinkling green eyes up towards them. "I feel myself almost a spirit
  • when I gaze upon them."
  • "O--ah--Gad--yes, so do I exactly, Miss Sharp," the other enthusiast
  • replied. "You don't mind my cigar, do you, Miss Sharp?" Miss Sharp
  • loved the smell of a cigar out of doors beyond everything in the
  • world--and she just tasted one too, in the prettiest way possible, and
  • gave a little puff, and a little scream, and a little giggle, and
  • restored the delicacy to the Captain, who twirled his moustache, and
  • straightway puffed it into a blaze that glowed quite red in the dark
  • plantation, and swore--"Jove--aw--Gad--aw--it's the finest segaw I ever
  • smoked in the world aw," for his intellect and conversation were alike
  • brilliant and becoming to a heavy young dragoon.
  • Old Sir Pitt, who was taking his pipe and beer, and talking to John
  • Horrocks about a "ship" that was to be killed, espied the pair so
  • occupied from his study-window, and with dreadful oaths swore that if
  • it wasn't for Miss Crawley, he'd take Rawdon and bundle un out of
  • doors, like a rogue as he was.
  • "He be a bad'n, sure enough," Mr. Horrocks remarked; "and his man
  • Flethers is wuss, and have made such a row in the housekeeper's room
  • about the dinners and hale, as no lord would make--but I think Miss
  • Sharp's a match for'n, Sir Pitt," he added, after a pause.
  • And so, in truth, she was--for father and son too.
  • CHAPTER XII
  • Quite a Sentimental Chapter
  • We must now take leave of Arcadia, and those amiable people practising
  • the rural virtues there, and travel back to London, to inquire what has
  • become of Miss Amelia.
  • "We don't care a fig for her," writes some unknown correspondent with a
  • pretty little handwriting and a pink seal to her note. "She is fade and
  • insipid," and adds some more kind remarks in this strain, which I should
  • never have repeated at all, but that they are in truth prodigiously
  • complimentary to the young lady whom they concern.
  • Has the beloved reader, in his experience of society, never heard
  • similar remarks by good-natured female friends; who always wonder what
  • you CAN see in Miss Smith that is so fascinating; or what COULD induce
  • Major Jones to propose for that silly insignificant simpering Miss
  • Thompson, who has nothing but her wax-doll face to recommend her? What
  • is there in a pair of pink cheeks and blue eyes forsooth? these dear
  • Moralists ask, and hint wisely that the gifts of genius, the
  • accomplishments of the mind, the mastery of Mangnall's Questions, and a
  • ladylike knowledge of botany and geology, the knack of making poetry,
  • the power of rattling sonatas in the Herz-manner, and so forth, are far
  • more valuable endowments for a female, than those fugitive charms which
  • a few years will inevitably tarnish. It is quite edifying to hear
  • women speculate upon the worthlessness and the duration of beauty.
  • But though virtue is a much finer thing, and those hapless creatures
  • who suffer under the misfortune of good looks ought to be continually
  • put in mind of the fate which awaits them; and though, very likely, the
  • heroic female character which ladies admire is a more glorious and
  • beautiful object than the kind, fresh, smiling, artless, tender little
  • domestic goddess, whom men are inclined to worship--yet the latter and
  • inferior sort of women must have this consolation--that the men do
  • admire them after all; and that, in spite of all our kind friends'
  • warnings and protests, we go on in our desperate error and folly, and
  • shall to the end of the chapter. Indeed, for my own part, though I have
  • been repeatedly told by persons for whom I have the greatest respect,
  • that Miss Brown is an insignificant chit, and Mrs. White has nothing
  • but her petit minois chiffonne, and Mrs. Black has not a word to say
  • for herself; yet I know that I have had the most delightful
  • conversations with Mrs. Black (of course, my dear Madam, they are
  • inviolable): I see all the men in a cluster round Mrs. White's chair:
  • all the young fellows battling to dance with Miss Brown; and so I am
  • tempted to think that to be despised by her sex is a very great
  • compliment to a woman.
  • The young ladies in Amelia's society did this for her very
  • satisfactorily. For instance, there was scarcely any point upon which
  • the Misses Osborne, George's sisters, and the Mesdemoiselles Dobbin
  • agreed so well as in their estimate of her very trifling merits: and
  • their wonder that their brothers could find any charms in her. "We are
  • kind to her," the Misses Osborne said, a pair of fine black-browed
  • young ladies who had had the best of governesses, masters, and
  • milliners; and they treated her with such extreme kindness and
  • condescension, and patronised her so insufferably, that the poor little
  • thing was in fact perfectly dumb in their presence, and to all outward
  • appearance as stupid as they thought her. She made efforts to like
  • them, as in duty bound, and as sisters of her future husband. She
  • passed "long mornings" with them--the most dreary and serious of
  • forenoons. She drove out solemnly in their great family coach with
  • them, and Miss Wirt their governess, that raw-boned Vestal. They took
  • her to the ancient concerts by way of a treat, and to the oratorio, and
  • to St. Paul's to see the charity children, where in such terror was she
  • of her friends, she almost did not dare be affected by the hymn the
  • children sang. Their house was comfortable; their papa's table rich
  • and handsome; their society solemn and genteel; their self-respect
  • prodigious; they had the best pew at the Foundling: all their habits
  • were pompous and orderly, and all their amusements intolerably dull and
  • decorous. After every one of her visits (and oh how glad she was when
  • they were over!) Miss Osborne and Miss Maria Osborne, and Miss Wirt,
  • the vestal governess, asked each other with increased wonder, "What
  • could George find in that creature?"
  • How is this? some carping reader exclaims. How is it that Amelia, who
  • had such a number of friends at school, and was so beloved there, comes
  • out into the world and is spurned by her discriminating sex? My dear
  • sir, there were no men at Miss Pinkerton's establishment except the old
  • dancing-master; and you would not have had the girls fall out about
  • HIM? When George, their handsome brother, ran off directly after
  • breakfast, and dined from home half-a-dozen times a week, no wonder the
  • neglected sisters felt a little vexation. When young Bullock (of the
  • firm of Hulker, Bullock & Co., Bankers, Lombard Street), who had been
  • making up to Miss Maria the last two seasons, actually asked Amelia to
  • dance the cotillon, could you expect that the former young lady should
  • be pleased? And yet she said she was, like an artless forgiving
  • creature. "I'm so delighted you like dear Amelia," she said quite
  • eagerly to Mr. Bullock after the dance. "She's engaged to my brother
  • George; there's not much in her, but she's the best-natured and most
  • unaffected young creature: at home we're all so fond of her." Dear
  • girl! who can calculate the depth of affection expressed in that
  • enthusiastic SO?
  • Miss Wirt and these two affectionate young women so earnestly and
  • frequently impressed upon George Osborne's mind the enormity of the
  • sacrifice he was making, and his romantic generosity in throwing
  • himself away upon Amelia, that I'm not sure but that he really thought
  • he was one of the most deserving characters in the British army, and
  • gave himself up to be loved with a good deal of easy resignation.
  • Somehow, although he left home every morning, as was stated, and dined
  • abroad six days in the week, when his sisters believed the infatuated
  • youth to be at Miss Sedley's apron-strings: he was NOT always with
  • Amelia, whilst the world supposed him at her feet. Certain it is that
  • on more occasions than one, when Captain Dobbin called to look for his
  • friend, Miss Osborne (who was very attentive to the Captain, and
  • anxious to hear his military stories, and to know about the health of
  • his dear Mamma), would laughingly point to the opposite side of the
  • square, and say, "Oh, you must go to the Sedleys' to ask for George; WE
  • never see him from morning till night." At which kind of speech the
  • Captain would laugh in rather an absurd constrained manner, and turn
  • off the conversation, like a consummate man of the world, to some topic
  • of general interest, such as the Opera, the Prince's last ball at
  • Carlton House, or the weather--that blessing to society.
  • "What an innocent it is, that pet of yours," Miss Maria would then say
  • to Miss Jane, upon the Captain's departure. "Did you see how he
  • blushed at the mention of poor George on duty?"
  • "It's a pity Frederick Bullock hadn't some of his modesty, Maria,"
  • replies the elder sister, with a toss of he head.
  • "Modesty! Awkwardness you mean, Jane. I don't want Frederick to
  • trample a hole in my muslin frock, as Captain Dobbin did in yours at
  • Mrs. Perkins'."
  • "In YOUR frock, he, he! How could he? Wasn't he dancing with Amelia?"
  • The fact is, when Captain Dobbin blushed so, and looked so awkward, he
  • remembered a circumstance of which he did not think it was necessary to
  • inform the young ladies, viz., that he had been calling at Mr. Sedley's
  • house already, on the pretence of seeing George, of course, and George
  • wasn't there, only poor little Amelia, with rather a sad wistful face,
  • seated near the drawing-room window, who, after some very trifling
  • stupid talk, ventured to ask, was there any truth in the report that
  • the regiment was soon to be ordered abroad; and had Captain Dobbin seen
  • Mr. Osborne that day?
  • The regiment was not ordered abroad as yet; and Captain Dobbin had not
  • seen George. "He was with his sister, most likely," the Captain said.
  • "Should he go and fetch the truant?" So she gave him her hand kindly
  • and gratefully: and he crossed the square; and she waited and waited,
  • but George never came.
  • Poor little tender heart! and so it goes on hoping and beating, and
  • longing and trusting. You see it is not much of a life to describe.
  • There is not much of what you call incident in it. Only one feeling
  • all day--when will he come? only one thought to sleep and wake upon. I
  • believe George was playing billiards with Captain Cannon in Swallow
  • Street at the time when Amelia was asking Captain Dobbin about him; for
  • George was a jolly sociable fellow, and excellent in all games of skill.
  • Once, after three days of absence, Miss Amelia put on her bonnet, and
  • actually invaded the Osborne house. "What! leave our brother to come to
  • us?" said the young ladies. "Have you had a quarrel, Amelia? Do tell
  • us!" No, indeed, there had been no quarrel. "Who could quarrel with
  • him?" says she, with her eyes filled with tears. She only came over
  • to--to see her dear friends; they had not met for so long. And this
  • day she was so perfectly stupid and awkward, that the Misses Osborne
  • and their governess, who stared after her as she went sadly away,
  • wondered more than ever what George could see in poor little Amelia.
  • Of course they did. How was she to bare that timid little heart for
  • the inspection of those young ladies with their bold black eyes? It was
  • best that it should shrink and hide itself. I know the Misses Osborne
  • were excellent critics of a Cashmere shawl, or a pink satin slip; and
  • when Miss Turner had hers dyed purple, and made into a spencer; and
  • when Miss Pickford had her ermine tippet twisted into a muff and
  • trimmings, I warrant you the changes did not escape the two intelligent
  • young women before mentioned. But there are things, look you, of a
  • finer texture than fur or satin, and all Solomon's glories, and all the
  • wardrobe of the Queen of Sheba--things whereof the beauty escapes the
  • eyes of many connoisseurs. And there are sweet modest little souls on
  • which you light, fragrant and blooming tenderly in quiet shady places;
  • and there are garden-ornaments, as big as brass warming-pans, that are
  • fit to stare the sun itself out of countenance. Miss Sedley was not of
  • the sunflower sort; and I say it is out of the rules of all proportion
  • to draw a violet of the size of a double dahlia.
  • No, indeed; the life of a good young girl who is in the paternal nest
  • as yet, can't have many of those thrilling incidents to which the
  • heroine of romance commonly lays claim. Snares or shot may take off
  • the old birds foraging without--hawks may be abroad, from which they
  • escape or by whom they suffer; but the young ones in the nest have a
  • pretty comfortable unromantic sort of existence in the down and the
  • straw, till it comes to their turn, too, to get on the wing. While
  • Becky Sharp was on her own wing in the country, hopping on all sorts of
  • twigs, and amid a multiplicity of traps, and pecking up her food quite
  • harmless and successful, Amelia lay snug in her home of Russell Square;
  • if she went into the world, it was under the guidance of the elders;
  • nor did it seem that any evil could befall her or that opulent cheery
  • comfortable home in which she was affectionately sheltered. Mamma had
  • her morning duties, and her daily drive, and the delightful round of
  • visits and shopping which forms the amusement, or the profession as you
  • may call it, of the rich London lady. Papa conducted his mysterious
  • operations in the City--a stirring place in those days, when war was
  • raging all over Europe, and empires were being staked; when the
  • "Courier" newspaper had tens of thousands of subscribers; when one day
  • brought you a battle of Vittoria, another a burning of Moscow, or a
  • newsman's horn blowing down Russell Square about dinner-time, announced
  • such a fact as--"Battle of Leipsic--six hundred thousand men
  • engaged--total defeat of the French--two hundred thousand killed." Old
  • Sedley once or twice came home with a very grave face; and no wonder,
  • when such news as this was agitating all the hearts and all the Stocks
  • of Europe.
  • Meanwhile matters went on in Russell Square, Bloomsbury, just as if
  • matters in Europe were not in the least disorganised. The retreat from
  • Leipsic made no difference in the number of meals Mr. Sambo took in the
  • servants' hall; the allies poured into France, and the dinner-bell rang
  • at five o'clock just as usual. I don't think poor Amelia cared
  • anything about Brienne and Montmirail, or was fairly interested in the
  • war until the abdication of the Emperor; when she clapped her hands and
  • said prayers--oh, how grateful! and flung herself into George Osborne's
  • arms with all her soul, to the astonishment of everybody who witnessed
  • that ebullition of sentiment. The fact is, peace was declared, Europe
  • was going to be at rest; the Corsican was overthrown, and Lieutenant
  • Osborne's regiment would not be ordered on service. That was the way
  • in which Miss Amelia reasoned. The fate of Europe was Lieutenant
  • George Osborne to her. His dangers being over, she sang Te Deum. He
  • was her Europe: her emperor: her allied monarchs and august prince
  • regent. He was her sun and moon; and I believe she thought the grand
  • illumination and ball at the Mansion House, given to the sovereigns,
  • were especially in honour of George Osborne.
  • We have talked of shift, self, and poverty, as those dismal instructors
  • under whom poor Miss Becky Sharp got her education. Now, love was Miss
  • Amelia Sedley's last tutoress, and it was amazing what progress our
  • young lady made under that popular teacher. In the course of fifteen
  • or eighteen months' daily and constant attention to this eminent
  • finishing governess, what a deal of secrets Amelia learned, which Miss
  • Wirt and the black-eyed young ladies over the way, which old Miss
  • Pinkerton of Chiswick herself, had no cognizance of! As, indeed, how
  • should any of those prim and reputable virgins? With Misses P. and W.
  • the tender passion is out of the question: I would not dare to breathe
  • such an idea regarding them. Miss Maria Osborne, it is true, was
  • "attached" to Mr. Frederick Augustus Bullock, of the firm of Hulker,
  • Bullock & Bullock; but hers was a most respectable attachment, and she
  • would have taken Bullock Senior just the same, her mind being fixed--as
  • that of a well-bred young woman should be--upon a house in Park Lane, a
  • country house at Wimbledon, a handsome chariot, and two prodigious tall
  • horses and footmen, and a fourth of the annual profits of the eminent
  • firm of Hulker & Bullock, all of which advantages were represented in
  • the person of Frederick Augustus. Had orange blossoms been invented
  • then (those touching emblems of female purity imported by us from
  • France, where people's daughters are universally sold in marriage),
  • Miss Maria, I say, would have assumed the spotless wreath, and stepped
  • into the travelling carriage by the side of gouty, old, bald-headed,
  • bottle-nosed Bullock Senior; and devoted her beautiful existence to his
  • happiness with perfect modesty--only the old gentleman was married
  • already; so she bestowed her young affections on the junior partner.
  • Sweet, blooming, orange flowers! The other day I saw Miss Trotter
  • (that was), arrayed in them, trip into the travelling carriage at St.
  • George's, Hanover Square, and Lord Methuselah hobbled in after. With
  • what an engaging modesty she pulled down the blinds of the chariot--the
  • dear innocent! There were half the carriages of Vanity Fair at the
  • wedding.
  • This was not the sort of love that finished Amelia's education; and in
  • the course of a year turned a good young girl into a good young
  • woman--to be a good wife presently, when the happy time should come.
  • This young person (perhaps it was very imprudent in her parents to
  • encourage her, and abet her in such idolatry and silly romantic ideas)
  • loved, with all her heart, the young officer in His Majesty's service
  • with whom we have made a brief acquaintance. She thought about him the
  • very first moment on waking; and his was the very last name mentioned
  • in her prayers. She never had seen a man so beautiful or so clever:
  • such a figure on horseback: such a dancer: such a hero in general.
  • Talk of the Prince's bow! what was it to George's? She had seen Mr.
  • Brummell, whom everybody praised so. Compare such a person as that to
  • her George! Not amongst all the beaux at the Opera (and there were
  • beaux in those days with actual opera hats) was there any one to equal
  • him. He was only good enough to be a fairy prince; and oh, what
  • magnanimity to stoop to such a humble Cinderella! Miss Pinkerton would
  • have tried to check this blind devotion very likely, had she been
  • Amelia's confidante; but not with much success, depend upon it. It is
  • in the nature and instinct of some women. Some are made to scheme, and
  • some to love; and I wish any respected bachelor that reads this may
  • take the sort that best likes him.
  • While under this overpowering impression, Miss Amelia neglected her
  • twelve dear friends at Chiswick most cruelly, as such selfish people
  • commonly will do. She had but this subject, of course, to think about;
  • and Miss Saltire was too cold for a confidante, and she couldn't bring
  • her mind to tell Miss Swartz, the woolly-haired young heiress from St.
  • Kitt's. She had little Laura Martin home for the holidays; and my
  • belief is, she made a confidante of her, and promised that Laura should
  • come and live with her when she was married, and gave Laura a great
  • deal of information regarding the passion of love, which must have been
  • singularly useful and novel to that little person. Alas, alas! I fear
  • poor Emmy had not a well-regulated mind.
  • What were her parents doing, not to keep this little heart from beating
  • so fast? Old Sedley did not seem much to notice matters. He was graver
  • of late, and his City affairs absorbed him. Mrs. Sedley was of so easy
  • and uninquisitive a nature that she wasn't even jealous. Mr. Jos was
  • away, being besieged by an Irish widow at Cheltenham. Amelia had the
  • house to herself--ah! too much to herself sometimes--not that she ever
  • doubted; for, to be sure, George must be at the Horse Guards; and he
  • can't always get leave from Chatham; and he must see his friends and
  • sisters, and mingle in society when in town (he, such an ornament to
  • every society!); and when he is with the regiment, he is too tired to
  • write long letters. I know where she kept that packet she had--and can
  • steal in and out of her chamber like Iachimo--like Iachimo? No--that
  • is a bad part. I will only act Moonshine, and peep harmless into the
  • bed where faith and beauty and innocence lie dreaming.
  • But if Osborne's were short and soldierlike letters, it must be
  • confessed, that were Miss Sedley's letters to Mr. Osborne to be
  • published, we should have to extend this novel to such a multiplicity
  • of volumes as not the most sentimental reader could support; that she
  • not only filled sheets of large paper, but crossed them with the most
  • astonishing perverseness; that she wrote whole pages out of
  • poetry-books without the least pity; that she underlined words and
  • passages with quite a frantic emphasis; and, in fine, gave the usual
  • tokens of her condition. She wasn't a heroine. Her letters were full
  • of repetition. She wrote rather doubtful grammar sometimes, and in her
  • verses took all sorts of liberties with the metre. But oh, mesdames,
  • if you are not allowed to touch the heart sometimes in spite of syntax,
  • and are not to be loved until you all know the difference between
  • trimeter and tetrameter, may all Poetry go to the deuce, and every
  • schoolmaster perish miserably!
  • CHAPTER XIII
  • Sentimental and Otherwise
  • I fear the gentleman to whom Miss Amelia's letters were addressed was
  • rather an obdurate critic. Such a number of notes followed Lieutenant
  • Osborne about the country, that he became almost ashamed of the jokes
  • of his mess-room companions regarding them, and ordered his servant
  • never to deliver them except at his private apartment. He was seen
  • lighting his cigar with one, to the horror of Captain Dobbin, who, it
  • is my belief, would have given a bank-note for the document.
  • For some time George strove to keep the liaison a secret. There was a
  • woman in the case, that he admitted. "And not the first either," said
  • Ensign Spooney to Ensign Stubble. "That Osborne's a devil of a fellow.
  • There was a judge's daughter at Demerara went almost mad about him;
  • then there was that beautiful quadroon girl, Miss Pye, at St.
  • Vincent's, you know; and since he's been home, they say he's a regular
  • Don Giovanni, by Jove."
  • Stubble and Spooney thought that to be a "regular Don Giovanni, by
  • Jove" was one of the finest qualities a man could possess, and
  • Osborne's reputation was prodigious amongst the young men of the
  • regiment. He was famous in field-sports, famous at a song, famous on
  • parade; free with his money, which was bountifully supplied by his
  • father. His coats were better made than any man's in the regiment, and
  • he had more of them. He was adored by the men. He could drink more
  • than any officer of the whole mess, including old Heavytop, the
  • colonel. He could spar better than Knuckles, the private (who would
  • have been a corporal but for his drunkenness, and who had been in the
  • prize-ring); and was the best batter and bowler, out and out, of the
  • regimental club. He rode his own horse, Greased Lightning, and won the
  • Garrison cup at Quebec races. There were other people besides Amelia
  • who worshipped him. Stubble and Spooney thought him a sort of Apollo;
  • Dobbin took him to be an Admirable Crichton; and Mrs. Major O'Dowd
  • acknowledged he was an elegant young fellow, and put her in mind of
  • Fitzjurld Fogarty, Lord Castlefogarty's second son.
  • Well, Stubble and Spooney and the rest indulged in most romantic
  • conjectures regarding this female correspondent of Osborne's--opining
  • that it was a Duchess in London who was in love with him--or that it
  • was a General's daughter, who was engaged to somebody else, and madly
  • attached to him--or that it was a Member of Parliament's lady, who
  • proposed four horses and an elopement--or that it was some other victim
  • of a passion delightfully exciting, romantic, and disgraceful to all
  • parties, on none of which conjectures would Osborne throw the least
  • light, leaving his young admirers and friends to invent and arrange
  • their whole history.
  • And the real state of the case would never have been known at all in
  • the regiment but for Captain Dobbin's indiscretion. The Captain was
  • eating his breakfast one day in the mess-room, while Cackle, the
  • assistant-surgeon, and the two above-named worthies were speculating
  • upon Osborne's intrigue--Stubble holding out that the lady was a
  • Duchess about Queen Charlotte's court, and Cackle vowing she was an
  • opera-singer of the worst reputation. At this idea Dobbin became so
  • moved, that though his mouth was full of eggs and bread-and-butter at
  • the time, and though he ought not to have spoken at all, yet he
  • couldn't help blurting out, "Cackle, you're a stupid fool. You're
  • always talking nonsense and scandal. Osborne is not going to run off
  • with a Duchess or ruin a milliner. Miss Sedley is one of the most
  • charming young women that ever lived. He's been engaged to her ever so
  • long; and the man who calls her names had better not do so in my
  • hearing." With which, turning exceedingly red, Dobbin ceased speaking,
  • and almost choked himself with a cup of tea. The story was over the
  • regiment in half-an-hour; and that very evening Mrs. Major O'Dowd wrote
  • off to her sister Glorvina at O'Dowdstown not to hurry from
  • Dublin--young Osborne being prematurely engaged already.
  • She complimented the Lieutenant in an appropriate speech over a glass
  • of whisky-toddy that evening, and he went home perfectly furious to
  • quarrel with Dobbin (who had declined Mrs. Major O'Dowd's party, and
  • sat in his own room playing the flute, and, I believe, writing poetry
  • in a very melancholy manner)--to quarrel with Dobbin for betraying his
  • secret.
  • "Who the deuce asked you to talk about my affairs?" Osborne shouted
  • indignantly. "Why the devil is all the regiment to know that I am
  • going to be married? Why is that tattling old harridan, Peggy O'Dowd,
  • to make free with my name at her d--d supper-table, and advertise my
  • engagement over the three kingdoms? After all, what right have you to
  • say I am engaged, or to meddle in my business at all, Dobbin?"
  • "It seems to me," Captain Dobbin began.
  • "Seems be hanged, Dobbin," his junior interrupted him. "I am under
  • obligations to you, I know it, a d--d deal too well too; but I won't be
  • always sermonised by you because you're five years my senior. I'm
  • hanged if I'll stand your airs of superiority and infernal pity and
  • patronage. Pity and patronage! I should like to know in what I'm your
  • inferior?"
  • "Are you engaged?" Captain Dobbin interposed.
  • "What the devil's that to you or any one here if I am?"
  • "Are you ashamed of it?" Dobbin resumed.
  • "What right have you to ask me that question, sir? I should like to
  • know," George said.
  • "Good God, you don't mean to say you want to break off?" asked Dobbin,
  • starting up.
  • "In other words, you ask me if I'm a man of honour," said Osborne,
  • fiercely; "is that what you mean? You've adopted such a tone regarding
  • me lately that I'm ------ if I'll bear it any more."
  • "What have I done? I've told you you were neglecting a sweet girl,
  • George. I've told you that when you go to town you ought to go to her,
  • and not to the gambling-houses about St. James's."
  • "You want your money back, I suppose," said George, with a sneer.
  • "Of course I do--I always did, didn't I?" says Dobbin. "You speak like
  • a generous fellow."
  • "No, hang it, William, I beg your pardon"--here George interposed in a
  • fit of remorse; "you have been my friend in a hundred ways, Heaven
  • knows. You've got me out of a score of scrapes. When Crawley of the
  • Guards won that sum of money of me I should have been done but for you:
  • I know I should. But you shouldn't deal so hardly with me; you
  • shouldn't be always catechising me. I am very fond of Amelia; I adore
  • her, and that sort of thing. Don't look angry. She's faultless; I
  • know she is. But you see there's no fun in winning a thing unless you
  • play for it. Hang it: the regiment's just back from the West Indies, I
  • must have a little fling, and then when I'm married I'll reform; I will
  • upon my honour, now. And--I say--Dob--don't be angry with me, and
  • I'll give you a hundred next month, when I know my father will stand
  • something handsome; and I'll ask Heavytop for leave, and I'll go to
  • town, and see Amelia to-morrow--there now, will that satisfy you?"
  • "It is impossible to be long angry with you, George," said the
  • good-natured Captain; "and as for the money, old boy, you know if I wanted
  • it you'd share your last shilling with me."
  • "That I would, by Jove, Dobbin," George said, with the greatest
  • generosity, though by the way he never had any money to spare.
  • "Only I wish you had sown those wild oats of yours, George. If you
  • could have seen poor little Miss Emmy's face when she asked me about
  • you the other day, you would have pitched those billiard-balls to the
  • deuce. Go and comfort her, you rascal. Go and write her a long
  • letter. Do something to make her happy; a very little will."
  • "I believe she's d--d fond of me," the Lieutenant said, with a
  • self-satisfied air; and went off to finish the evening with some jolly
  • fellows in the mess-room.
  • Amelia meanwhile, in Russell Square, was looking at the moon, which was
  • shining upon that peaceful spot, as well as upon the square of the
  • Chatham barracks, where Lieutenant Osborne was quartered, and thinking
  • to herself how her hero was employed. Perhaps he is visiting the
  • sentries, thought she; perhaps he is bivouacking; perhaps he is
  • attending the couch of a wounded comrade, or studying the art of war up
  • in his own desolate chamber. And her kind thoughts sped away as if they
  • were angels and had wings, and flying down the river to Chatham and
  • Rochester, strove to peep into the barracks where George was. . . . All
  • things considered, I think it was as well the gates were shut, and the
  • sentry allowed no one to pass; so that the poor little white-robed
  • angel could not hear the songs those young fellows were roaring over
  • the whisky-punch.
  • The day after the little conversation at Chatham barracks, young
  • Osborne, to show that he would be as good as his word, prepared to go
  • to town, thereby incurring Captain Dobbin's applause. "I should have
  • liked to make her a little present," Osborne said to his friend in
  • confidence, "only I am quite out of cash until my father tips up." But
  • Dobbin would not allow this good nature and generosity to be balked,
  • and so accommodated Mr. Osborne with a few pound notes, which the
  • latter took after a little faint scruple.
  • And I dare say he would have bought something very handsome for Amelia;
  • only, getting off the coach in Fleet Street, he was attracted by a
  • handsome shirt-pin in a jeweller's window, which he could not resist;
  • and having paid for that, had very little money to spare for indulging
  • in any further exercise of kindness. Never mind: you may be sure it
  • was not his presents Amelia wanted. When he came to Russell Square,
  • her face lighted up as if he had been sunshine. The little cares,
  • fears, tears, timid misgivings, sleepless fancies of I don't know how
  • many days and nights, were forgotten, under one moment's influence of
  • that familiar, irresistible smile. He beamed on her from the
  • drawing-room door--magnificent, with ambrosial whiskers, like a god.
  • Sambo, whose face as he announced Captain Osbin (having conferred a
  • brevet rank on that young officer) blazed with a sympathetic grin, saw
  • the little girl start, and flush, and jump up from her watching-place
  • in the window; and Sambo retreated: and as soon as the door was shut,
  • she went fluttering to Lieutenant George Osborne's heart as if it was
  • the only natural home for her to nestle in. Oh, thou poor panting
  • little soul! The very finest tree in the whole forest, with the
  • straightest stem, and the strongest arms, and the thickest foliage,
  • wherein you choose to build and coo, may be marked, for what you know,
  • and may be down with a crash ere long. What an old, old simile that
  • is, between man and timber!
  • In the meanwhile, George kissed her very kindly on her forehead and
  • glistening eyes, and was very gracious and good; and she thought his
  • diamond shirt-pin (which she had not known him to wear before) the
  • prettiest ornament ever seen.
  • The observant reader, who has marked our young Lieutenant's previous
  • behaviour, and has preserved our report of the brief conversation which
  • he has just had with Captain Dobbin, has possibly come to certain
  • conclusions regarding the character of Mr. Osborne. Some cynical
  • Frenchman has said that there are two parties to a love-transaction:
  • the one who loves and the other who condescends to be so treated.
  • Perhaps the love is occasionally on the man's side; perhaps on the
  • lady's. Perhaps some infatuated swain has ere this mistaken
  • insensibility for modesty, dulness for maiden reserve, mere vacuity for
  • sweet bashfulness, and a goose, in a word, for a swan. Perhaps some
  • beloved female subscriber has arrayed an ass in the splendour and glory
  • of her imagination; admired his dulness as manly simplicity; worshipped
  • his selfishness as manly superiority; treated his stupidity as majestic
  • gravity, and used him as the brilliant fairy Titania did a certain
  • weaver at Athens. I think I have seen such comedies of errors going on
  • in the world. But this is certain, that Amelia believed her lover to
  • be one of the most gallant and brilliant men in the empire: and it is
  • possible Lieutenant Osborne thought so too.
  • He was a little wild: how many young men are; and don't girls like a
  • rake better than a milksop? He hadn't sown his wild oats as yet, but
  • he would soon: and quit the army now that peace was proclaimed; the
  • Corsican monster locked up at Elba; promotion by consequence over; and
  • no chance left for the display of his undoubted military talents and
  • valour: and his allowance, with Amelia's settlement, would enable them
  • to take a snug place in the country somewhere, in a good sporting
  • neighbourhood; and he would hunt a little, and farm a little; and they
  • would be very happy. As for remaining in the army as a married man,
  • that was impossible. Fancy Mrs. George Osborne in lodgings in a county
  • town; or, worse still, in the East or West Indies, with a society of
  • officers, and patronized by Mrs. Major O'Dowd! Amelia died with
  • laughing at Osborne's stories about Mrs. Major O'Dowd. He loved her
  • much too fondly to subject her to that horrid woman and her
  • vulgarities, and the rough treatment of a soldier's wife. He didn't
  • care for himself--not he; but his dear little girl should take the
  • place in society to which, as his wife, she was entitled: and to these
  • proposals you may be sure she acceded, as she would to any other from
  • the same author.
  • Holding this kind of conversation, and building numberless castles in
  • the air (which Amelia adorned with all sorts of flower-gardens, rustic
  • walks, country churches, Sunday schools, and the like; while George had
  • his mind's eye directed to the stables, the kennel, and the cellar),
  • this young pair passed away a couple of hours very pleasantly; and as
  • the Lieutenant had only that single day in town, and a great deal of
  • most important business to transact, it was proposed that Miss Emmy
  • should dine with her future sisters-in-law. This invitation was
  • accepted joyfully. He conducted her to his sisters; where he left her
  • talking and prattling in a way that astonished those ladies, who
  • thought that George might make something of her; and he then went off
  • to transact his business.
  • In a word, he went out and ate ices at a pastry-cook's shop in Charing
  • Cross; tried a new coat in Pall Mall; dropped in at the Old
  • Slaughters', and called for Captain Cannon; played eleven games at
  • billiards with the Captain, of which he won eight, and returned to
  • Russell Square half an hour late for dinner, but in very good humour.
  • It was not so with old Mr. Osborne. When that gentleman came from the
  • City, and was welcomed in the drawing-room by his daughters and the
  • elegant Miss Wirt, they saw at once by his face--which was puffy,
  • solemn, and yellow at the best of times--and by the scowl and twitching
  • of his black eyebrows, that the heart within his large white waistcoat
  • was disturbed and uneasy. When Amelia stepped forward to salute him,
  • which she always did with great trembling and timidity, he gave a surly
  • grunt of recognition, and dropped the little hand out of his great
  • hirsute paw without any attempt to hold it there. He looked round
  • gloomily at his eldest daughter; who, comprehending the meaning of his
  • look, which asked unmistakably, "Why the devil is she here?" said at
  • once:
  • "George is in town, Papa; and has gone to the Horse Guards, and will be
  • back to dinner."
  • "O he is, is he? I won't have the dinner kept waiting for him, Jane";
  • with which this worthy man lapsed into his particular chair, and then
  • the utter silence in his genteel, well-furnished drawing-room was only
  • interrupted by the alarmed ticking of the great French clock.
  • When that chronometer, which was surmounted by a cheerful brass group
  • of the sacrifice of Iphigenia, tolled five in a heavy cathedral tone,
  • Mr. Osborne pulled the bell at his right hand--violently, and the
  • butler rushed up.
  • "Dinner!" roared Mr. Osborne.
  • "Mr. George isn't come in, sir," interposed the man.
  • "Damn Mr. George, sir. Am I master of the house? DINNER!" Mr. Osborne
  • scowled. Amelia trembled. A telegraphic communication of eyes passed
  • between the other three ladies. The obedient bell in the lower regions
  • began ringing the announcement of the meal. The tolling over, the head
  • of the family thrust his hands into the great tail-pockets of his great
  • blue coat with brass buttons, and without waiting for a further
  • announcement strode downstairs alone, scowling over his shoulder at the
  • four females.
  • "What's the matter now, my dear?" asked one of the other, as they rose
  • and tripped gingerly behind the sire. "I suppose the funds are
  • falling," whispered Miss Wirt; and so, trembling and in silence, this
  • hushed female company followed their dark leader. They took their
  • places in silence. He growled out a blessing, which sounded as gruffly
  • as a curse. The great silver dish-covers were removed. Amelia trembled
  • in her place, for she was next to the awful Osborne, and alone on her
  • side of the table--the gap being occasioned by the absence of George.
  • "Soup?" says Mr. Osborne, clutching the ladle, fixing his eyes on her,
  • in a sepulchral tone; and having helped her and the rest, did not speak
  • for a while.
  • "Take Miss Sedley's plate away," at last he said. "She can't eat the
  • soup--no more can I. It's beastly. Take away the soup, Hicks, and
  • to-morrow turn the cook out of the house, Jane."
  • Having concluded his observations upon the soup, Mr. Osborne made a few
  • curt remarks respecting the fish, also of a savage and satirical
  • tendency, and cursed Billingsgate with an emphasis quite worthy of the
  • place. Then he lapsed into silence, and swallowed sundry glasses of
  • wine, looking more and more terrible, till a brisk knock at the door
  • told of George's arrival when everybody began to rally.
  • "He could not come before. General Daguilet had kept him waiting at
  • the Horse Guards. Never mind soup or fish. Give him anything--he
  • didn't care what. Capital mutton--capital everything." His good humour
  • contrasted with his father's severity; and he rattled on unceasingly
  • during dinner, to the delight of all--of one especially, who need not
  • be mentioned.
  • As soon as the young ladies had discussed the orange and the glass of
  • wine which formed the ordinary conclusion of the dismal banquets at Mr.
  • Osborne's house, the signal to make sail for the drawing-room was
  • given, and they all arose and departed. Amelia hoped George would soon
  • join them there. She began playing some of his favourite waltzes (then
  • newly imported) at the great carved-legged, leather-cased grand piano
  • in the drawing-room overhead. This little artifice did not bring him.
  • He was deaf to the waltzes; they grew fainter and fainter; the
  • discomfited performer left the huge instrument presently; and though
  • her three friends performed some of the loudest and most brilliant new
  • pieces of their repertoire, she did not hear a single note, but sate
  • thinking, and boding evil. Old Osborne's scowl, terrific always, had
  • never before looked so deadly to her. His eyes followed her out of the
  • room, as if she had been guilty of something. When they brought her
  • coffee, she started as though it were a cup of poison which Mr. Hicks,
  • the butler, wished to propose to her. What mystery was there lurking?
  • Oh, those women! They nurse and cuddle their presentiments, and make
  • darlings of their ugliest thoughts, as they do of their deformed
  • children.
  • The gloom on the paternal countenance had also impressed George Osborne
  • with anxiety. With such eyebrows, and a look so decidedly bilious, how
  • was he to extract that money from the governor, of which George was
  • consumedly in want? He began praising his father's wine. That was
  • generally a successful means of cajoling the old gentleman.
  • "We never got such Madeira in the West Indies, sir, as yours. Colonel
  • Heavytop took off three bottles of that you sent me down, under his
  • belt the other day."
  • "Did he?" said the old gentleman. "It stands me in eight shillings a
  • bottle."
  • "Will you take six guineas a dozen for it, sir?" said George, with a
  • laugh. "There's one of the greatest men in the kingdom wants some."
  • "Does he?" growled the senior. "Wish he may get it."
  • "When General Daguilet was at Chatham, sir, Heavytop gave him a
  • breakfast, and asked me for some of the wine. The General liked it
  • just as well--wanted a pipe for the Commander-in-Chief. He's his Royal
  • Highness's right-hand man."
  • "It is devilish fine wine," said the Eyebrows, and they looked more
  • good-humoured; and George was going to take advantage of this
  • complacency, and bring the supply question on the mahogany, when the
  • father, relapsing into solemnity, though rather cordial in manner, bade
  • him ring the bell for claret. "And we'll see if that's as good as the
  • Madeira, George, to which his Royal Highness is welcome, I'm sure. And
  • as we are drinking it, I'll talk to you about a matter of importance."
  • Amelia heard the claret bell ringing as she sat nervously upstairs. She
  • thought, somehow, it was a mysterious and presentimental bell. Of the
  • presentiments which some people are always having, some surely must
  • come right.
  • "What I want to know, George," the old gentleman said, after slowly
  • smacking his first bumper--"what I want to know is, how you
  • and--ah--that little thing upstairs, are carrying on?"
  • "I think, sir, it is not hard to see," George said, with a
  • self-satisfied grin. "Pretty clear, sir.--What capital wine!"
  • "What d'you mean, pretty clear, sir?"
  • "Why, hang it, sir, don't push me too hard. I'm a modest man.
  • I--ah--I don't set up to be a lady-killer; but I do own that she's as
  • devilish fond of me as she can be. Anybody can see that with half an
  • eye."
  • "And you yourself?"
  • "Why, sir, didn't you order me to marry her, and ain't I a good boy?
  • Haven't our Papas settled it ever so long?"
  • "A pretty boy, indeed. Haven't I heard of your doings, sir, with Lord
  • Tarquin, Captain Crawley of the Guards, the Honourable Mr. Deuceace and
  • that set. Have a care sir, have a care."
  • The old gentleman pronounced these aristocratic names with the greatest
  • gusto. Whenever he met a great man he grovelled before him, and
  • my-lorded him as only a free-born Briton can do. He came home and
  • looked out his history in the Peerage: he introduced his name into his
  • daily conversation; he bragged about his Lordship to his daughters. He
  • fell down prostrate and basked in him as a Neapolitan beggar does in
  • the sun. George was alarmed when he heard the names. He feared his
  • father might have been informed of certain transactions at play. But
  • the old moralist eased him by saying serenely:
  • "Well, well, young men will be young men. And the comfort to me is,
  • George, that living in the best society in England, as I hope you do;
  • as I think you do; as my means will allow you to do--"
  • "Thank you, sir," says George, making his point at once. "One can't
  • live with these great folks for nothing; and my purse, sir, look at
  • it"; and he held up a little token which had been netted by Amelia, and
  • contained the very last of Dobbin's pound notes.
  • "You shan't want, sir. The British merchant's son shan't want, sir. My
  • guineas are as good as theirs, George, my boy; and I don't grudge 'em.
  • Call on Mr. Chopper as you go through the City to-morrow; he'll have
  • something for you. I don't grudge money when I know you're in good
  • society, because I know that good society can never go wrong. There's
  • no pride in me. I was a humbly born man--but you have had advantages.
  • Make a good use of 'em. Mix with the young nobility. There's many of
  • 'em who can't spend a dollar to your guinea, my boy. And as for the
  • pink bonnets (here from under the heavy eyebrows there came a knowing
  • and not very pleasing leer)--why boys will be boys. Only there's one
  • thing I order you to avoid, which, if you do not, I'll cut you off with
  • a shilling, by Jove; and that's gambling."
  • "Oh, of course, sir," said George.
  • "But to return to the other business about Amelia: why shouldn't you
  • marry higher than a stockbroker's daughter, George--that's what I want
  • to know?"
  • "It's a family business, sir," says George, cracking filberts. "You
  • and Mr. Sedley made the match a hundred years ago."
  • "I don't deny it; but people's positions alter, sir. I don't deny that
  • Sedley made my fortune, or rather put me in the way of acquiring, by my
  • own talents and genius, that proud position, which, I may say, I occupy
  • in the tallow trade and the City of London. I've shown my gratitude to
  • Sedley; and he's tried it of late, sir, as my cheque-book can show.
  • George! I tell you in confidence I don't like the looks of Mr.
  • Sedley's affairs. My chief clerk, Mr. Chopper, does not like the looks
  • of 'em, and he's an old file, and knows 'Change as well as any man in
  • London. Hulker & Bullock are looking shy at him. He's been dabbling
  • on his own account I fear. They say the Jeune Amelie was his, which was
  • taken by the Yankee privateer Molasses. And that's flat--unless I see
  • Amelia's ten thousand down you don't marry her. I'll have no lame
  • duck's daughter in my family. Pass the wine, sir--or ring for coffee."
  • With which Mr. Osborne spread out the evening paper, and George knew
  • from this signal that the colloquy was ended, and that his papa was
  • about to take a nap.
  • He hurried upstairs to Amelia in the highest spirits. What was it that
  • made him more attentive to her on that night than he had been for a
  • long time--more eager to amuse her, more tender, more brilliant in
  • talk? Was it that his generous heart warmed to her at the prospect of
  • misfortune; or that the idea of losing the dear little prize made him
  • value it more?
  • She lived upon the recollections of that happy evening for many days
  • afterwards, remembering his words; his looks; the song he sang; his
  • attitude, as he leant over her or looked at her from a distance. As it
  • seemed to her, no night ever passed so quickly at Mr. Osborne's house
  • before; and for once this young person was almost provoked to be angry
  • by the premature arrival of Mr. Sambo with her shawl.
  • George came and took a tender leave of her the next morning; and then
  • hurried off to the City, where he visited Mr. Chopper, his father's
  • head man, and received from that gentleman a document which he
  • exchanged at Hulker & Bullock's for a whole pocketful of money. As
  • George entered the house, old John Sedley was passing out of the
  • banker's parlour, looking very dismal. But his godson was much too
  • elated to mark the worthy stockbroker's depression, or the dreary eyes
  • which the kind old gentleman cast upon him. Young Bullock did not come
  • grinning out of the parlour with him as had been his wont in former
  • years.
  • And as the swinging doors of Hulker, Bullock & Co. closed upon Mr.
  • Sedley, Mr. Quill, the cashier (whose benevolent occupation it is to
  • hand out crisp bank-notes from a drawer and dispense sovereigns out of
  • a copper shovel), winked at Mr. Driver, the clerk at the desk on his
  • right. Mr. Driver winked again.
  • "No go," Mr. D. whispered.
  • "Not at no price," Mr. Q. said. "Mr. George Osborne, sir, how will
  • you take it?" George crammed eagerly a quantity of notes into his
  • pockets, and paid Dobbin fifty pounds that very evening at mess.
  • That very evening Amelia wrote him the tenderest of long letters. Her
  • heart was overflowing with tenderness, but it still foreboded evil.
  • What was the cause of Mr. Osborne's dark looks? she asked. Had any
  • difference arisen between him and her papa? Her poor papa returned so
  • melancholy from the City, that all were alarmed about him at home--in
  • fine, there were four pages of loves and fears and hopes and
  • forebodings.
  • "Poor little Emmy--dear little Emmy. How fond she is of me," George
  • said, as he perused the missive--"and Gad, what a headache that mixed
  • punch has given me!" Poor little Emmy, indeed.
  • CHAPTER XIV
  • Miss Crawley at Home
  • About this time there drove up to an exceedingly snug and
  • well-appointed house in Park Lane, a travelling chariot with a lozenge on
  • the panels, a discontented female in a green veil and crimped curls on
  • the rumble, and a large and confidential man on the box. It was the
  • equipage of our friend Miss Crawley, returning from Hants. The
  • carriage windows were shut; the fat spaniel, whose head and tongue
  • ordinarily lolled out of one of them, reposed on the lap of the
  • discontented female. When the vehicle stopped, a large round bundle of
  • shawls was taken out of the carriage by the aid of various domestics
  • and a young lady who accompanied the heap of cloaks. That bundle
  • contained Miss Crawley, who was conveyed upstairs forthwith, and put
  • into a bed and chamber warmed properly as for the reception of an
  • invalid. Messengers went off for her physician and medical man. They
  • came, consulted, prescribed, vanished. The young companion of Miss
  • Crawley, at the conclusion of their interview, came in to receive their
  • instructions, and administered those antiphlogistic medicines which the
  • eminent men ordered.
  • Captain Crawley of the Life Guards rode up from Knightsbridge Barracks
  • the next day; his black charger pawed the straw before his invalid
  • aunt's door. He was most affectionate in his inquiries regarding that
  • amiable relative. There seemed to be much source of apprehension. He
  • found Miss Crawley's maid (the discontented female) unusually sulky and
  • despondent; he found Miss Briggs, her dame de compagnie, in tears alone
  • in the drawing-room. She had hastened home, hearing of her beloved
  • friend's illness. She wished to fly to her couch, that couch which
  • she, Briggs, had so often smoothed in the hour of sickness. She was
  • denied admission to Miss Crawley's apartment. A stranger was
  • administering her medicines--a stranger from the country--an odious
  • Miss ... --tears choked the utterance of the dame de compagnie, and
  • she buried her crushed affections and her poor old red nose in her
  • pocket handkerchief.
  • Rawdon Crawley sent up his name by the sulky femme de chambre, and Miss
  • Crawley's new companion, coming tripping down from the sick-room, put
  • a little hand into his as he stepped forward eagerly to meet her, gave
  • a glance of great scorn at the bewildered Briggs, and beckoning the
  • young Guardsman out of the back drawing-room, led him downstairs into
  • that now desolate dining-parlour, where so many a good dinner had been
  • celebrated.
  • Here these two talked for ten minutes, discussing, no doubt, the
  • symptoms of the old invalid above stairs; at the end of which period
  • the parlour bell was rung briskly, and answered on that instant by Mr.
  • Bowls, Miss Crawley's large confidential butler (who, indeed, happened
  • to be at the keyhole during the most part of the interview); and the
  • Captain coming out, curling his mustachios, mounted the black charger
  • pawing among the straw, to the admiration of the little blackguard boys
  • collected in the street. He looked in at the dining-room window,
  • managing his horse, which curvetted and capered beautifully--for one
  • instant the young person might be seen at the window, when her figure
  • vanished, and, doubtless, she went upstairs again to resume the
  • affecting duties of benevolence.
  • Who could this young woman be, I wonder? That evening a little dinner
  • for two persons was laid in the dining-room--when Mrs. Firkin, the
  • lady's maid, pushed into her mistress's apartment, and bustled about
  • there during the vacancy occasioned by the departure of the new
  • nurse--and the latter and Miss Briggs sat down to the neat little meal.
  • Briggs was so much choked by emotion that she could hardly take a
  • morsel of meat. The young person carved a fowl with the utmost
  • delicacy, and asked so distinctly for egg-sauce, that poor Briggs,
  • before whom that delicious condiment was placed, started, made a great
  • clattering with the ladle, and once more fell back in the most gushing
  • hysterical state.
  • "Had you not better give Miss Briggs a glass of wine?" said the person
  • to Mr. Bowls, the large confidential man. He did so. Briggs seized it
  • mechanically, gasped it down convulsively, moaned a little, and began
  • to play with the chicken on her plate.
  • "I think we shall be able to help each other," said the person with
  • great suavity: "and shall have no need of Mr. Bowls's kind services.
  • Mr. Bowls, if you please, we will ring when we want you." He went
  • downstairs, where, by the way, he vented the most horrid curses upon
  • the unoffending footman, his subordinate.
  • "It is a pity you take on so, Miss Briggs," the young lady said, with a
  • cool, slightly sarcastic, air.
  • "My dearest friend is so ill, and wo-o-on't see me," gurgled out Briggs
  • in an agony of renewed grief.
  • "She's not very ill any more. Console yourself, dear Miss Briggs. She
  • has only overeaten herself--that is all. She is greatly better. She
  • will soon be quite restored again. She is weak from being cupped and
  • from medical treatment, but she will rally immediately. Pray console
  • yourself, and take a little more wine."
  • "But why, why won't she see me again?" Miss Briggs bleated out. "Oh,
  • Matilda, Matilda, after three-and-twenty years' tenderness! is this the
  • return to your poor, poor Arabella?"
  • "Don't cry too much, poor Arabella," the other said (with ever so
  • little of a grin); "she only won't see you, because she says you don't
  • nurse her as well as I do. It's no pleasure to me to sit up all night.
  • I wish you might do it instead."
  • "Have I not tended that dear couch for years?" Arabella said, "and
  • now--"
  • "Now she prefers somebody else. Well, sick people have these fancies,
  • and must be humoured. When she's well I shall go."
  • "Never, never," Arabella exclaimed, madly inhaling her salts-bottle.
  • "Never be well or never go, Miss Briggs?" the other said, with the same
  • provoking good-nature. "Pooh--she will be well in a fortnight, when I
  • shall go back to my little pupils at Queen's Crawley, and to their
  • mother, who is a great deal more sick than our friend. You need not be
  • jealous about me, my dear Miss Briggs. I am a poor little girl without
  • any friends, or any harm in me. I don't want to supplant you in Miss
  • Crawley's good graces. She will forget me a week after I am gone: and
  • her affection for you has been the work of years. Give me a little
  • wine if you please, my dear Miss Briggs, and let us be friends. I'm
  • sure I want friends."
  • The placable and soft-hearted Briggs speechlessly pushed out her hand
  • at this appeal; but she felt the desertion most keenly for all that,
  • and bitterly, bitterly moaned the fickleness of her Matilda. At the end
  • of half an hour, the meal over, Miss Rebecca Sharp (for such,
  • astonishing to state, is the name of her who has been described
  • ingeniously as "the person" hitherto), went upstairs again to her
  • patient's rooms, from which, with the most engaging politeness, she
  • eliminated poor Firkin. "Thank you, Mrs. Firkin, that will quite do;
  • how nicely you make it! I will ring when anything is wanted." "Thank
  • you"; and Firkin came downstairs in a tempest of jealousy, only the
  • more dangerous because she was forced to confine it in her own bosom.
  • Could it be the tempest which, as she passed the landing of the first
  • floor, blew open the drawing-room door? No; it was stealthily opened by
  • the hand of Briggs. Briggs had been on the watch. Briggs too well heard
  • the creaking Firkin descend the stairs, and the clink of the spoon and
  • gruel-basin the neglected female carried.
  • "Well, Firkin?" says she, as the other entered the apartment. "Well,
  • Jane?"
  • "Wuss and wuss, Miss B.," Firkin said, wagging her head.
  • "Is she not better then?"
  • "She never spoke but once, and I asked her if she felt a little more
  • easy, and she told me to hold my stupid tongue. Oh, Miss B., I never
  • thought to have seen this day!" And the water-works again began to
  • play.
  • "What sort of a person is this Miss Sharp, Firkin? I little thought,
  • while enjoying my Christmas revels in the elegant home of my firm
  • friends, the Reverend Lionel Delamere and his amiable lady, to find a
  • stranger had taken my place in the affections of my dearest, my still
  • dearest Matilda!" Miss Briggs, it will be seen by her language, was of
  • a literary and sentimental turn, and had once published a volume of
  • poems--"Trills of the Nightingale"--by subscription.
  • "Miss B., they are all infatyated about that young woman," Firkin
  • replied. "Sir Pitt wouldn't have let her go, but he daredn't refuse
  • Miss Crawley anything. Mrs. Bute at the Rectory jist as bad--never
  • happy out of her sight. The Capting quite wild about her. Mr. Crawley
  • mortial jealous. Since Miss C. was took ill, she won't have nobody near
  • her but Miss Sharp, I can't tell for where nor for why; and I think
  • somethink has bewidged everybody."
  • Rebecca passed that night in constant watching upon Miss Crawley; the
  • next night the old lady slept so comfortably, that Rebecca had time for
  • several hours' comfortable repose herself on the sofa, at the foot of
  • her patroness's bed; very soon, Miss Crawley was so well that she sat
  • up and laughed heartily at a perfect imitation of Miss Briggs and her
  • grief, which Rebecca described to her. Briggs' weeping snuffle, and her
  • manner of using the handkerchief, were so completely rendered that Miss
  • Crawley became quite cheerful, to the admiration of the doctors when
  • they visited her, who usually found this worthy woman of the world,
  • when the least sickness attacked her, under the most abject depression
  • and terror of death.
  • Captain Crawley came every day, and received bulletins from Miss
  • Rebecca respecting his aunt's health. This improved so rapidly, that
  • poor Briggs was allowed to see her patroness; and persons with tender
  • hearts may imagine the smothered emotions of that sentimental female,
  • and the affecting nature of the interview.
  • Miss Crawley liked to have Briggs in a good deal soon. Rebecca used to
  • mimic her to her face with the most admirable gravity, thereby
  • rendering the imitation doubly piquant to her worthy patroness.
  • The causes which had led to the deplorable illness of Miss Crawley, and
  • her departure from her brother's house in the country, were of such an
  • unromantic nature that they are hardly fit to be explained in this
  • genteel and sentimental novel. For how is it possible to hint of a
  • delicate female, living in good society, that she ate and drank too
  • much, and that a hot supper of lobsters profusely enjoyed at the
  • Rectory was the reason of an indisposition which Miss Crawley herself
  • persisted was solely attributable to the dampness of the weather? The
  • attack was so sharp that Matilda--as his Reverence expressed it--was
  • very nearly "off the hooks"; all the family were in a fever of
  • expectation regarding the will, and Rawdon Crawley was making sure of
  • at least forty thousand pounds before the commencement of the London
  • season. Mr. Crawley sent over a choice parcel of tracts, to prepare
  • her for the change from Vanity Fair and Park Lane for another world;
  • but a good doctor from Southampton being called in in time, vanquished
  • the lobster which was so nearly fatal to her, and gave her sufficient
  • strength to enable her to return to London. The Baronet did not
  • disguise his exceeding mortification at the turn which affairs took.
  • While everybody was attending on Miss Crawley, and messengers every
  • hour from the Rectory were carrying news of her health to the
  • affectionate folks there, there was a lady in another part of the
  • house, being exceedingly ill, of whom no one took any notice at all;
  • and this was the lady of Crawley herself. The good doctor shook his
  • head after seeing her; to which visit Sir Pitt consented, as it could
  • be paid without a fee; and she was left fading away in her lonely
  • chamber, with no more heed paid to her than to a weed in the park.
  • The young ladies, too, lost much of the inestimable benefit of their
  • governess's instruction, So affectionate a nurse was Miss Sharp, that
  • Miss Crawley would take her medicines from no other hand. Firkin had
  • been deposed long before her mistress's departure from the country.
  • That faithful attendant found a gloomy consolation on returning to
  • London, in seeing Miss Briggs suffer the same pangs of jealousy and
  • undergo the same faithless treatment to which she herself had been
  • subject.
  • Captain Rawdon got an extension of leave on his aunt's illness, and
  • remained dutifully at home. He was always in her antechamber. (She
  • lay sick in the state bedroom, into which you entered by the little
  • blue saloon.) His father was always meeting him there; or if he came
  • down the corridor ever so quietly, his father's door was sure to open,
  • and the hyena face of the old gentleman to glare out. What was it set
  • one to watch the other so? A generous rivalry, no doubt, as to which
  • should be most attentive to the dear sufferer in the state bedroom.
  • Rebecca used to come out and comfort both of them; or one or the other
  • of them rather. Both of these worthy gentlemen were most anxious to
  • have news of the invalid from her little confidential messenger.
  • At dinner--to which meal she descended for half an hour--she kept the
  • peace between them: after which she disappeared for the night; when
  • Rawdon would ride over to the depot of the 150th at Mudbury, leaving
  • his papa to the society of Mr. Horrocks and his rum and water. She
  • passed as weary a fortnight as ever mortal spent in Miss Crawley's
  • sick-room; but her little nerves seemed to be of iron, as she was quite
  • unshaken by the duty and the tedium of the sick-chamber.
  • She never told until long afterwards how painful that duty was; how
  • peevish a patient was the jovial old lady; how angry; how sleepless; in
  • what horrors of death; during what long nights she lay moaning, and in
  • almost delirious agonies respecting that future world which she quite
  • ignored when she was in good health.--Picture to yourself, oh fair
  • young reader, a worldly, selfish, graceless, thankless, religionless
  • old woman, writhing in pain and fear, and without her wig. Picture her
  • to yourself, and ere you be old, learn to love and pray!
  • Sharp watched this graceless bedside with indomitable patience. Nothing
  • escaped her; and, like a prudent steward, she found a use for
  • everything. She told many a good story about Miss Crawley's illness in
  • after days--stories which made the lady blush through her artificial
  • carnations. During the illness she was never out of temper; always
  • alert; she slept light, having a perfectly clear conscience; and could
  • take that refreshment at almost any minute's warning. And so you saw
  • very few traces of fatigue in her appearance. Her face might be a
  • trifle paler, and the circles round her eyes a little blacker than
  • usual; but whenever she came out from the sick-room she was always
  • smiling, fresh, and neat, and looked as trim in her little
  • dressing-gown and cap, as in her smartest evening suit.
  • The Captain thought so, and raved about her in uncouth convulsions. The
  • barbed shaft of love had penetrated his dull hide. Six
  • weeks--appropinquity--opportunity--had victimised him completely. He
  • made a confidante of his aunt at the Rectory, of all persons in the
  • world. She rallied him about it; she had perceived his folly; she
  • warned him; she finished by owning that little Sharp was the most clever,
  • droll, odd, good-natured, simple, kindly creature in England. Rawdon
  • must not trifle with her affections, though--dear Miss Crawley would
  • never pardon him for that; for she, too, was quite overcome by the little
  • governess, and loved Sharp like a daughter. Rawdon must go away--go
  • back to his regiment and naughty London, and not play with a poor
  • artless girl's feelings.
  • Many and many a time this good-natured lady, compassionating the
  • forlorn life-guardsman's condition, gave him an opportunity of seeing
  • Miss Sharp at the Rectory, and of walking home with her, as we have
  • seen. When men of a certain sort, ladies, are in love, though they see
  • the hook and the string, and the whole apparatus with which they are to
  • be taken, they gorge the bait nevertheless--they must come to it--they
  • must swallow it--and are presently struck and landed gasping. Rawdon
  • saw there was a manifest intention on Mrs. Bute's part to captivate him
  • with Rebecca. He was not very wise; but he was a man about town, and
  • had seen several seasons. A light dawned upon his dusky soul, as he
  • thought, through a speech of Mrs. Bute's.
  • "Mark my words, Rawdon," she said. "You will have Miss Sharp one day
  • for your relation."
  • "What relation--my cousin, hey, Mrs. Bute? James sweet on her, hey?"
  • inquired the waggish officer.
  • "More than that," Mrs. Bute said, with a flash from her black eyes.
  • "Not Pitt? He sha'n't have her. The sneak a'n't worthy of her. He's
  • booked to Lady Jane Sheepshanks."
  • "You men perceive nothing. You silly, blind creature--if anything
  • happens to Lady Crawley, Miss Sharp will be your mother-in-law; and
  • that's what will happen."
  • Rawdon Crawley, Esquire, gave vent to a prodigious whistle, in token of
  • astonishment at this announcement. He couldn't deny it. His father's
  • evident liking for Miss Sharp had not escaped him. He knew the old
  • gentleman's character well; and a more unscrupulous old--whyou--he did
  • not conclude the sentence, but walked home, curling his mustachios, and
  • convinced he had found a clue to Mrs. Bute's mystery.
  • "By Jove, it's too bad," thought Rawdon, "too bad, by Jove! I do
  • believe the woman wants the poor girl to be ruined, in order that she
  • shouldn't come into the family as Lady Crawley."
  • When he saw Rebecca alone, he rallied her about his father's attachment
  • in his graceful way. She flung up her head scornfully, looked him full
  • in the face, and said,
  • "Well, suppose he is fond of me. I know he is, and others too. You
  • don't think I am afraid of him, Captain Crawley? You don't suppose I
  • can't defend my own honour," said the little woman, looking as stately
  • as a queen.
  • "Oh, ah, why--give you fair warning--look out, you know--that's all,"
  • said the mustachio-twiddler.
  • "You hint at something not honourable, then?" said she, flashing out.
  • "O Gad--really--Miss Rebecca," the heavy dragoon interposed.
  • "Do you suppose I have no feeling of self-respect, because I am poor
  • and friendless, and because rich people have none? Do you think,
  • because I am a governess, I have not as much sense, and feeling, and
  • good breeding as you gentlefolks in Hampshire? I'm a Montmorency. Do
  • you suppose a Montmorency is not as good as a Crawley?"
  • When Miss Sharp was agitated, and alluded to her maternal relatives,
  • she spoke with ever so slight a foreign accent, which gave a great
  • charm to her clear ringing voice. "No," she continued, kindling as she
  • spoke to the Captain; "I can endure poverty, but not shame--neglect,
  • but not insult; and insult from--from you."
  • Her feelings gave way, and she burst into tears.
  • "Hang it, Miss Sharp--Rebecca--by Jove--upon my soul, I wouldn't for a
  • thousand pounds. Stop, Rebecca!"
  • She was gone. She drove out with Miss Crawley that day. It was before
  • the latter's illness. At dinner she was unusually brilliant and
  • lively; but she would take no notice of the hints, or the nods, or the
  • clumsy expostulations of the humiliated, infatuated guardsman.
  • Skirmishes of this sort passed perpetually during the little
  • campaign--tedious to relate, and similar in result. The Crawley heavy
  • cavalry was maddened by defeat, and routed every day.
  • If the Baronet of Queen's Crawley had not had the fear of losing his
  • sister's legacy before his eyes, he never would have permitted his dear
  • girls to lose the educational blessings which their invaluable
  • governess was conferring upon them. The old house at home seemed a
  • desert without her, so useful and pleasant had Rebecca made herself
  • there. Sir Pitt's letters were not copied and corrected; his books not
  • made up; his household business and manifold schemes neglected, now
  • that his little secretary was away. And it was easy to see how
  • necessary such an amanuensis was to him, by the tenor and spelling of
  • the numerous letters which he sent to her, entreating her and
  • commanding her to return. Almost every day brought a frank from the
  • Baronet, enclosing the most urgent prayers to Becky for her return, or
  • conveying pathetic statements to Miss Crawley, regarding the neglected
  • state of his daughters' education; of which documents Miss Crawley took
  • very little heed.
  • Miss Briggs was not formally dismissed, but her place as companion was
  • a sinecure and a derision; and her company was the fat spaniel in the
  • drawing-room, or occasionally the discontented Firkin in the
  • housekeeper's closet. Nor though the old lady would by no means hear
  • of Rebecca's departure, was the latter regularly installed in office in
  • Park Lane. Like many wealthy people, it was Miss Crawley's habit to
  • accept as much service as she could get from her inferiors; and
  • good-naturedly to take leave of them when she no longer found them
  • useful. Gratitude among certain rich folks is scarcely natural or to
  • be thought of. They take needy people's services as their due. Nor
  • have you, O poor parasite and humble hanger-on, much reason to
  • complain! Your friendship for Dives is about as sincere as the return
  • which it usually gets. It is money you love, and not the man; and were
  • Croesus and his footman to change places you know, you poor rogue, who
  • would have the benefit of your allegiance.
  • And I am not sure that, in spite of Rebecca's simplicity and activity,
  • and gentleness and untiring good humour, the shrewd old London lady,
  • upon whom these treasures of friendship were lavished, had not a
  • lurking suspicion all the while of her affectionate nurse and friend.
  • It must have often crossed Miss Crawley's mind that nobody does
  • anything for nothing. If she measured her own feeling towards the
  • world, she must have been pretty well able to gauge those of the world
  • towards herself; and perhaps she reflected that it is the ordinary lot
  • of people to have no friends if they themselves care for nobody.
  • Well, meanwhile Becky was the greatest comfort and convenience to her,
  • and she gave her a couple of new gowns, and an old necklace and shawl,
  • and showed her friendship by abusing all her intimate acquaintances to
  • her new confidante (than which there can't be a more touching proof of
  • regard), and meditated vaguely some great future benefit--to marry her
  • perhaps to Clump, the apothecary, or to settle her in some advantageous
  • way of life; or at any rate, to send her back to Queen's Crawley when
  • she had done with her, and the full London season had begun.
  • When Miss Crawley was convalescent and descended to the drawing-room,
  • Becky sang to her, and otherwise amused her; when she was well enough
  • to drive out, Becky accompanied her. And amongst the drives which they
  • took, whither, of all places in the world, did Miss Crawley's admirable
  • good-nature and friendship actually induce her to penetrate, but to
  • Russell Square, Bloomsbury, and the house of John Sedley, Esquire.
  • Ere that event, many notes had passed, as may be imagined, between the
  • two dear friends. During the months of Rebecca's stay in Hampshire,
  • the eternal friendship had (must it be owned?) suffered considerable
  • diminution, and grown so decrepit and feeble with old age as to
  • threaten demise altogether. The fact is, both girls had their own real
  • affairs to think of: Rebecca her advance with her employers--Amelia her
  • own absorbing topic. When the two girls met, and flew into each
  • other's arms with that impetuosity which distinguishes the behaviour of
  • young ladies towards each other, Rebecca performed her part of the
  • embrace with the most perfect briskness and energy. Poor little Amelia
  • blushed as she kissed her friend, and thought she had been guilty of
  • something very like coldness towards her.
  • Their first interview was but a very short one. Amelia was just ready
  • to go out for a walk. Miss Crawley was waiting in her carriage below,
  • her people wondering at the locality in which they found themselves,
  • and gazing upon honest Sambo, the black footman of Bloomsbury, as one
  • of the queer natives of the place. But when Amelia came down with her
  • kind smiling looks (Rebecca must introduce her to her friend, Miss
  • Crawley was longing to see her, and was too ill to leave her
  • carriage)--when, I say, Amelia came down, the Park Lane shoulder-knot
  • aristocracy wondered more and more that such a thing could come out of
  • Bloomsbury; and Miss Crawley was fairly captivated by the sweet
  • blushing face of the young lady who came forward so timidly and so
  • gracefully to pay her respects to the protector of her friend.
  • "What a complexion, my dear! What a sweet voice!" Miss Crawley said, as
  • they drove away westward after the little interview. "My dear Sharp,
  • your young friend is charming. Send for her to Park Lane, do you
  • hear?" Miss Crawley had a good taste. She liked natural manners--a
  • little timidity only set them off. She liked pretty faces near her; as
  • she liked pretty pictures and nice china. She talked of Amelia with
  • rapture half a dozen times that day. She mentioned her to Rawdon
  • Crawley, who came dutifully to partake of his aunt's chicken.
  • Of course, on this Rebecca instantly stated that Amelia was engaged to
  • be married--to a Lieutenant Osborne--a very old flame.
  • "Is he a man in a line-regiment?" Captain Crawley asked, remembering
  • after an effort, as became a guardsman, the number of the regiment,
  • the --th.
  • Rebecca thought that was the regiment. "The Captain's name," she said,
  • "was Captain Dobbin."
  • "A lanky gawky fellow," said Crawley, "tumbles over everybody. I know
  • him; and Osborne's a goodish-looking fellow, with large black whiskers?"
  • "Enormous," Miss Rebecca Sharp said, "and enormously proud of them, I
  • assure you."
  • Captain Rawdon Crawley burst into a horse-laugh by way of reply; and
  • being pressed by the ladies to explain, did so when the explosion of
  • hilarity was over. "He fancies he can play at billiards," said he. "I
  • won two hundred of him at the Cocoa-Tree. HE play, the young flat!
  • He'd have played for anything that day, but his friend Captain Dobbin
  • carried him off, hang him!"
  • "Rawdon, Rawdon, don't be so wicked," Miss Crawley remarked, highly
  • pleased.
  • "Why, ma'am, of all the young fellows I've seen out of the line, I
  • think this fellow's the greenest. Tarquin and Deuceace get what money
  • they like out of him. He'd go to the deuce to be seen with a lord. He
  • pays their dinners at Greenwich, and they invite the company."
  • "And very pretty company too, I dare say."
  • "Quite right, Miss Sharp. Right, as usual, Miss Sharp. Uncommon pretty
  • company--haw, haw!" and the Captain laughed more and more, thinking he
  • had made a good joke.
  • "Rawdon, don't be naughty!" his aunt exclaimed.
  • "Well, his father's a City man--immensely rich, they say. Hang those
  • City fellows, they must bleed; and I've not done with him yet, I can
  • tell you. Haw, haw!"
  • "Fie, Captain Crawley; I shall warn Amelia. A gambling husband!"
  • "Horrid, ain't he, hey?" the Captain said with great solemnity; and
  • then added, a sudden thought having struck him: "Gad, I say, ma'am,
  • we'll have him here."
  • "Is he a presentable sort of a person?" the aunt inquired.
  • "Presentable?--oh, very well. You wouldn't see any difference,"
  • Captain Crawley answered. "Do let's have him, when you begin to see a
  • few people; and his whatdyecallem--his inamorato--eh, Miss Sharp;
  • that's what you call it--comes. Gad, I'll write him a note, and have
  • him; and I'll try if he can play piquet as well as billiards. Where
  • does he live, Miss Sharp?"
  • Miss Sharp told Crawley the Lieutenant's town address; and a few days
  • after this conversation, Lieutenant Osborne received a letter, in
  • Captain Rawdon's schoolboy hand, and enclosing a note of invitation
  • from Miss Crawley.
  • Rebecca despatched also an invitation to her darling Amelia, who, you
  • may be sure, was ready enough to accept it when she heard that George
  • was to be of the party. It was arranged that Amelia was to spend the
  • morning with the ladies of Park Lane, where all were very kind to her.
  • Rebecca patronised her with calm superiority: she was so much the
  • cleverer of the two, and her friend so gentle and unassuming, that she
  • always yielded when anybody chose to command, and so took Rebecca's
  • orders with perfect meekness and good humour. Miss Crawley's
  • graciousness was also remarkable. She continued her raptures about
  • little Amelia, talked about her before her face as if she were a doll,
  • or a servant, or a picture, and admired her with the most benevolent
  • wonder possible. I admire that admiration which the genteel world
  • sometimes extends to the commonalty. There is no more agreeable object
  • in life than to see Mayfair folks condescending. Miss Crawley's
  • prodigious benevolence rather fatigued poor little Amelia, and I am not
  • sure that of the three ladies in Park Lane she did not find honest Miss
  • Briggs the most agreeable. She sympathised with Briggs as with all
  • neglected or gentle people: she wasn't what you call a woman of spirit.
  • George came to dinner--a repast en garcon with Captain Crawley.
  • The great family coach of the Osbornes transported him to Park Lane
  • from Russell Square; where the young ladies, who were not themselves
  • invited, and professed the greatest indifference at that slight,
  • nevertheless looked at Sir Pitt Crawley's name in the baronetage; and
  • learned everything which that work had to teach about the Crawley
  • family and their pedigree, and the Binkies, their relatives, &c., &c.
  • Rawdon Crawley received George Osborne with great frankness and
  • graciousness: praised his play at billiards: asked him when he would
  • have his revenge: was interested about Osborne's regiment: and would
  • have proposed piquet to him that very evening, but Miss Crawley
  • absolutely forbade any gambling in her house; so that the young
  • Lieutenant's purse was not lightened by his gallant patron, for that
  • day at least. However, they made an engagement for the next,
  • somewhere: to look at a horse that Crawley had to sell, and to try him
  • in the Park; and to dine together, and to pass the evening with some
  • jolly fellows. "That is, if you're not on duty to that pretty Miss
  • Sedley," Crawley said, with a knowing wink. "Monstrous nice girl, 'pon
  • my honour, though, Osborne," he was good enough to add. "Lots of tin,
  • I suppose, eh?"
  • Osborne wasn't on duty; he would join Crawley with pleasure: and the
  • latter, when they met the next day, praised his new friend's
  • horsemanship--as he might with perfect honesty--and introduced him to
  • three or four young men of the first fashion, whose acquaintance
  • immensely elated the simple young officer.
  • "How's little Miss Sharp, by-the-bye?" Osborne inquired of his friend
  • over their wine, with a dandified air. "Good-natured little girl that.
  • Does she suit you well at Queen's Crawley? Miss Sedley liked her a good
  • deal last year."
  • Captain Crawley looked savagely at the Lieutenant out of his little
  • blue eyes, and watched him when he went up to resume his acquaintance
  • with the fair governess. Her conduct must have relieved Crawley if
  • there was any jealousy in the bosom of that life-guardsman.
  • When the young men went upstairs, and after Osborne's introduction to
  • Miss Crawley, he walked up to Rebecca with a patronising, easy swagger.
  • He was going to be kind to her and protect her. He would even shake
  • hands with her, as a friend of Amelia's; and saying, "Ah, Miss Sharp!
  • how-dy-doo?" held out his left hand towards her, expecting that she
  • would be quite confounded at the honour.
  • Miss Sharp put out her right forefinger, and gave him a little nod, so
  • cool and killing, that Rawdon Crawley, watching the operations from the
  • other room, could hardly restrain his laughter as he saw the
  • Lieutenant's entire discomfiture; the start he gave, the pause, and the
  • perfect clumsiness with which he at length condescended to take the
  • finger which was offered for his embrace.
  • "She'd beat the devil, by Jove!" the Captain said, in a rapture; and
  • the Lieutenant, by way of beginning the conversation, agreeably asked
  • Rebecca how she liked her new place.
  • "My place?" said Miss Sharp, coolly, "how kind of you to remind me of
  • it! It's a tolerably good place: the wages are pretty good--not so
  • good as Miss Wirt's, I believe, with your sisters in Russell Square.
  • How are those young ladies?--not that I ought to ask."
  • "Why not?" Mr. Osborne said, amazed.
  • "Why, they never condescended to speak to me, or to ask me into their
  • house, whilst I was staying with Amelia; but we poor governesses, you
  • know, are used to slights of this sort."
  • "My dear Miss Sharp!" Osborne ejaculated.
  • "At least in some families," Rebecca continued. "You can't think what
  • a difference there is though. We are not so wealthy in Hampshire as
  • you lucky folks of the City. But then I am in a gentleman's
  • family--good old English stock. I suppose you know Sir Pitt's father
  • refused a peerage. And you see how I am treated. I am pretty
  • comfortable. Indeed it is rather a good place. But how very good of
  • you to inquire!"
  • Osborne was quite savage. The little governess patronised him and
  • persiffled him until this young British Lion felt quite uneasy; nor
  • could he muster sufficient presence of mind to find a pretext for
  • backing out of this most delectable conversation.
  • "I thought you liked the City families pretty well," he said, haughtily.
  • "Last year you mean, when I was fresh from that horrid vulgar school?
  • Of course I did. Doesn't every girl like to come home for the
  • holidays? And how was I to know any better? But oh, Mr. Osborne, what
  • a difference eighteen months' experience makes! eighteen months spent,
  • pardon me for saying so, with gentlemen. As for dear Amelia, she, I
  • grant you, is a pearl, and would be charming anywhere. There now, I
  • see you are beginning to be in a good humour; but oh these queer odd
  • City people! And Mr. Jos--how is that wonderful Mr. Joseph?"
  • "It seems to me you didn't dislike that wonderful Mr. Joseph last
  • year," Osborne said kindly.
  • "How severe of you! Well, entre nous, I didn't break my heart about
  • him; yet if he had asked me to do what you mean by your looks (and very
  • expressive and kind they are, too), I wouldn't have said no."
  • Mr. Osborne gave a look as much as to say, "Indeed, how very obliging!"
  • "What an honour to have had you for a brother-in-law, you are thinking?
  • To be sister-in-law to George Osborne, Esquire, son of John Osborne,
  • Esquire, son of--what was your grandpapa, Mr. Osborne? Well, don't be
  • angry. You can't help your pedigree, and I quite agree with you that I
  • would have married Mr. Joe Sedley; for could a poor penniless girl do
  • better? Now you know the whole secret. I'm frank and open;
  • considering all things, it was very kind of you to allude to the
  • circumstance--very kind and polite. Amelia dear, Mr. Osborne and I
  • were talking about your poor brother Joseph. How is he?"
  • Thus was George utterly routed. Not that Rebecca was in the right; but
  • she had managed most successfully to put him in the wrong. And he now
  • shamefully fled, feeling, if he stayed another minute, that he would
  • have been made to look foolish in the presence of Amelia.
  • Though Rebecca had had the better of him, George was above the meanness
  • of talebearing or revenge upon a lady--only he could not help cleverly
  • confiding to Captain Crawley, next day, some notions of his regarding
  • Miss Rebecca--that she was a sharp one, a dangerous one, a desperate
  • flirt, &c.; in all of which opinions Crawley agreed laughingly, and
  • with every one of which Miss Rebecca was made acquainted before
  • twenty-four hours were over. They added to her original regard for Mr.
  • Osborne. Her woman's instinct had told her that it was George who had
  • interrupted the success of her first love-passage, and she esteemed him
  • accordingly.
  • "I only just warn you," he said to Rawdon Crawley, with a knowing
  • look--he had bought the horse, and lost some score of guineas after
  • dinner, "I just warn you--I know women, and counsel you to be on the
  • look-out."
  • "Thank you, my boy," said Crawley, with a look of peculiar gratitude.
  • "You're wide awake, I see." And George went off, thinking Crawley was
  • quite right.
  • He told Amelia of what he had done, and how he had counselled Rawdon
  • Crawley--a devilish good, straightforward fellow--to be on his guard
  • against that little sly, scheming Rebecca.
  • "Against whom?" Amelia cried.
  • "Your friend the governess.--Don't look so astonished."
  • "O George, what have you done?" Amelia said. For her woman's eyes,
  • which Love had made sharp-sighted, had in one instant discovered a
  • secret which was invisible to Miss Crawley, to poor virgin Briggs, and
  • above all, to the stupid peepers of that young whiskered prig,
  • Lieutenant Osborne.
  • For as Rebecca was shawling her in an upper apartment, where these two
  • friends had an opportunity for a little of that secret talking and
  • conspiring which form the delight of female life, Amelia, coming up to
  • Rebecca, and taking her two little hands in hers, said, "Rebecca, I see
  • it all."
  • Rebecca kissed her.
  • And regarding this delightful secret, not one syllable more was said by
  • either of the young women. But it was destined to come out before long.
  • Some short period after the above events, and Miss Rebecca Sharp still
  • remaining at her patroness's house in Park Lane, one more hatchment
  • might have been seen in Great Gaunt Street, figuring amongst the many
  • which usually ornament that dismal quarter. It was over Sir Pitt
  • Crawley's house; but it did not indicate the worthy baronet's demise.
  • It was a feminine hatchment, and indeed a few years back had served as
  • a funeral compliment to Sir Pitt's old mother, the late dowager Lady
  • Crawley. Its period of service over, the hatchment had come down from
  • the front of the house, and lived in retirement somewhere in the back
  • premises of Sir Pitt's mansion. It reappeared now for poor Rose Dawson.
  • Sir Pitt was a widower again. The arms quartered on the shield along
  • with his own were not, to be sure, poor Rose's. She had no arms. But
  • the cherubs painted on the scutcheon answered as well for her as for
  • Sir Pitt's mother, and Resurgam was written under the coat, flanked by
  • the Crawley Dove and Serpent. Arms and Hatchments, Resurgam.--Here is
  • an opportunity for moralising!
  • Mr. Crawley had tended that otherwise friendless bedside. She went out
  • of the world strengthened by such words and comfort as he could give
  • her. For many years his was the only kindness she ever knew; the only
  • friendship that solaced in any way that feeble, lonely soul. Her heart
  • was dead long before her body. She had sold it to become Sir Pitt
  • Crawley's wife. Mothers and daughters are making the same bargain
  • every day in Vanity Fair.
  • When the demise took place, her husband was in London attending to some
  • of his innumerable schemes, and busy with his endless lawyers. He had
  • found time, nevertheless, to call often in Park Lane, and to despatch
  • many notes to Rebecca, entreating her, enjoining her, commanding her to
  • return to her young pupils in the country, who were now utterly without
  • companionship during their mother's illness. But Miss Crawley would
  • not hear of her departure; for though there was no lady of fashion in
  • London who would desert her friends more complacently as soon as she
  • was tired of their society, and though few tired of them sooner, yet as
  • long as her engoument lasted her attachment was prodigious, and she
  • clung still with the greatest energy to Rebecca.
  • The news of Lady Crawley's death provoked no more grief or comment than
  • might have been expected in Miss Crawley's family circle. "I suppose I
  • must put off my party for the 3rd," Miss Crawley said; and added, after
  • a pause, "I hope my brother will have the decency not to marry again."
  • "What a confounded rage Pitt will be in if he does," Rawdon remarked,
  • with his usual regard for his elder brother. Rebecca said nothing. She
  • seemed by far the gravest and most impressed of the family. She left
  • the room before Rawdon went away that day; but they met by chance
  • below, as he was going away after taking leave, and had a parley
  • together.
  • On the morrow, as Rebecca was gazing from the window, she startled Miss
  • Crawley, who was placidly occupied with a French novel, by crying out
  • in an alarmed tone, "Here's Sir Pitt, Ma'am!" and the Baronet's knock
  • followed this announcement.
  • "My dear, I can't see him. I won't see him. Tell Bowls not at home,
  • or go downstairs and say I'm too ill to receive any one. My nerves
  • really won't bear my brother at this moment," cried out Miss Crawley,
  • and resumed the novel.
  • "She's too ill to see you, sir," Rebecca said, tripping down to Sir
  • Pitt, who was preparing to ascend.
  • "So much the better," Sir Pitt answered. "I want to see YOU, Miss
  • Becky. Come along a me into the parlour," and they entered that
  • apartment together.
  • "I wawnt you back at Queen's Crawley, Miss," the baronet said, fixing
  • his eyes upon her, and taking off his black gloves and his hat with its
  • great crape hat-band. His eyes had such a strange look, and fixed upon
  • her so steadfastly, that Rebecca Sharp began almost to tremble.
  • "I hope to come soon," she said in a low voice, "as soon as Miss
  • Crawley is better--and return to--to the dear children."
  • "You've said so these three months, Becky," replied Sir Pitt, "and
  • still you go hanging on to my sister, who'll fling you off like an old
  • shoe, when she's wore you out. I tell you I want you. I'm going back
  • to the Vuneral. Will you come back? Yes or no?"
  • "I daren't--I don't think--it would be right--to be alone--with you,
  • sir," Becky said, seemingly in great agitation.
  • "I say agin, I want you," Sir Pitt said, thumping the table. "I can't
  • git on without you. I didn't see what it was till you went away. The
  • house all goes wrong. It's not the same place. All my accounts has
  • got muddled agin. You MUST come back. Do come back. Dear Becky, do
  • come."
  • "Come--as what, sir?" Rebecca gasped out.
  • "Come as Lady Crawley, if you like," the Baronet said, grasping his
  • crape hat. "There! will that zatusfy you? Come back and be my wife.
  • Your vit vor't. Birth be hanged. You're as good a lady as ever I see.
  • You've got more brains in your little vinger than any baronet's wife in
  • the county. Will you come? Yes or no?"
  • "Oh, Sir Pitt!" Rebecca said, very much moved.
  • "Say yes, Becky," Sir Pitt continued. "I'm an old man, but a good'n.
  • I'm good for twenty years. I'll make you happy, zee if I don't. You
  • shall do what you like; spend what you like; and 'ave it all your own
  • way. I'll make you a zettlement. I'll do everything reglar. Look
  • year!" and the old man fell down on his knees and leered at her like a
  • satyr.
  • Rebecca started back a picture of consternation. In the course of this
  • history we have never seen her lose her presence of mind; but she did
  • now, and wept some of the most genuine tears that ever fell from her
  • eyes.
  • "Oh, Sir Pitt!" she said. "Oh, sir--I--I'm married ALREADY."
  • CHAPTER XV
  • In Which Rebecca's Husband Appears for a Short Time
  • Every reader of a sentimental turn (and we desire no other) must have
  • been pleased with the tableau with which the last act of our little
  • drama concluded; for what can be prettier than an image of Love on his
  • knees before Beauty?
  • But when Love heard that awful confession from Beauty that she was
  • married already, he bounced up from his attitude of humility on the
  • carpet, uttering exclamations which caused poor little Beauty to be
  • more frightened than she was when she made her avowal. "Married;
  • you're joking," the Baronet cried, after the first explosion of rage
  • and wonder. "You're making vun of me, Becky. Who'd ever go to marry
  • you without a shilling to your vortune?"
  • "Married! married!" Rebecca said, in an agony of tears--her voice
  • choking with emotion, her handkerchief up to her ready eyes, fainting
  • against the mantelpiece a figure of woe fit to melt the most obdurate
  • heart. "O Sir Pitt, dear Sir Pitt, do not think me ungrateful for all
  • your goodness to me. It is only your generosity that has extorted my
  • secret."
  • "Generosity be hanged!" Sir Pitt roared out. "Who is it tu, then,
  • you're married? Where was it?"
  • "Let me come back with you to the country, sir! Let me watch over you
  • as faithfully as ever! Don't, don't separate me from dear Queen's
  • Crawley!"
  • "The feller has left you, has he?" the Baronet said, beginning, as he
  • fancied, to comprehend. "Well, Becky--come back if you like. You can't
  • eat your cake and have it. Any ways I made you a vair offer. Coom
  • back as governess--you shall have it all your own way." She held out
  • one hand. She cried fit to break her heart; her ringlets fell over her
  • face, and over the marble mantelpiece where she laid it.
  • "So the rascal ran off, eh?" Sir Pitt said, with a hideous attempt at
  • consolation. "Never mind, Becky, I'LL take care of 'ee."
  • "Oh, sir! it would be the pride of my life to go back to Queen's
  • Crawley, and take care of the children, and of you as formerly, when
  • you said you were pleased with the services of your little Rebecca.
  • When I think of what you have just offered me, my heart fills with
  • gratitude indeed it does. I can't be your wife, sir; let me--let me be
  • your daughter." Saying which, Rebecca went down on HER knees in a most
  • tragical way, and, taking Sir Pitt's horny black hand between her own
  • two (which were very pretty and white, and as soft as satin), looked up
  • in his face with an expression of exquisite pathos and confidence,
  • when--when the door opened, and Miss Crawley sailed in.
  • Mrs. Firkin and Miss Briggs, who happened by chance to be at the
  • parlour door soon after the Baronet and Rebecca entered the apartment,
  • had also seen accidentally, through the keyhole, the old gentleman
  • prostrate before the governess, and had heard the generous proposal
  • which he made her. It was scarcely out of his mouth when Mrs. Firkin
  • and Miss Briggs had streamed up the stairs, had rushed into the
  • drawing-room where Miss Crawley was reading the French novel, and had
  • given that old lady the astounding intelligence that Sir Pitt was on
  • his knees, proposing to Miss Sharp. And if you calculate the time for
  • the above dialogue to take place--the time for Briggs and Firkin to fly
  • to the drawing-room--the time for Miss Crawley to be astonished, and to
  • drop her volume of Pigault le Brun--and the time for her to come
  • downstairs--you will see how exactly accurate this history is, and how
  • Miss Crawley must have appeared at the very instant when Rebecca had
  • assumed the attitude of humility.
  • "It is the lady on the ground, and not the gentleman," Miss Crawley
  • said, with a look and voice of great scorn. "They told me that YOU were
  • on your knees, Sir Pitt: do kneel once more, and let me see this pretty
  • couple!"
  • "I have thanked Sir Pitt Crawley, Ma'am," Rebecca said, rising, "and
  • have told him that--that I never can become Lady Crawley."
  • "Refused him!" Miss Crawley said, more bewildered than ever. Briggs
  • and Firkin at the door opened the eyes of astonishment and the lips of
  • wonder.
  • "Yes--refused," Rebecca continued, with a sad, tearful voice.
  • "And am I to credit my ears that you absolutely proposed to her, Sir
  • Pitt?" the old lady asked.
  • "Ees," said the Baronet, "I did."
  • "And she refused you as she says?"
  • "Ees," Sir Pitt said, his features on a broad grin.
  • "It does not seem to break your heart at any rate," Miss Crawley
  • remarked.
  • "Nawt a bit," answered Sir Pitt, with a coolness and good-humour which
  • set Miss Crawley almost mad with bewilderment. That an old gentleman
  • of station should fall on his knees to a penniless governess, and burst
  • out laughing because she refused to marry him--that a penniless
  • governess should refuse a Baronet with four thousand a year--these were
  • mysteries which Miss Crawley could never comprehend. It surpassed any
  • complications of intrigue in her favourite Pigault le Brun.
  • "I'm glad you think it good sport, brother," she continued, groping
  • wildly through this amazement.
  • "Vamous," said Sir Pitt. "Who'd ha' thought it! what a sly little
  • devil! what a little fox it waws!" he muttered to himself, chuckling
  • with pleasure.
  • "Who'd have thought what?" cries Miss Crawley, stamping with her foot.
  • "Pray, Miss Sharp, are you waiting for the Prince Regent's divorce,
  • that you don't think our family good enough for you?"
  • "My attitude," Rebecca said, "when you came in, ma'am, did not look as
  • if I despised such an honour as this good--this noble man has deigned
  • to offer me. Do you think I have no heart? Have you all loved me, and
  • been so kind to the poor orphan--deserted--girl, and am I to feel
  • nothing? O my friends! O my benefactors! may not my love, my life, my
  • duty, try to repay the confidence you have shown me? Do you grudge me
  • even gratitude, Miss Crawley? It is too much--my heart is too full";
  • and she sank down in a chair so pathetically, that most of the audience
  • present were perfectly melted with her sadness.
  • "Whether you marry me or not, you're a good little girl, Becky, and I'm
  • your vriend, mind," said Sir Pitt, and putting on his crape-bound hat,
  • he walked away--greatly to Rebecca's relief; for it was evident that
  • her secret was unrevealed to Miss Crawley, and she had the advantage of
  • a brief reprieve.
  • Putting her handkerchief to her eyes, and nodding away honest Briggs,
  • who would have followed her upstairs, she went up to her apartment;
  • while Briggs and Miss Crawley, in a high state of excitement, remained
  • to discuss the strange event, and Firkin, not less moved, dived down
  • into the kitchen regions, and talked of it with all the male and female
  • company there. And so impressed was Mrs. Firkin with the news, that
  • she thought proper to write off by that very night's post, "with her
  • humble duty to Mrs. Bute Crawley and the family at the Rectory, and Sir
  • Pitt has been and proposed for to marry Miss Sharp, wherein she has
  • refused him, to the wonder of all."
  • The two ladies in the dining-room (where worthy Miss Briggs was
  • delighted to be admitted once more to confidential conversation with
  • her patroness) wondered to their hearts' content at Sir Pitt's offer,
  • and Rebecca's refusal; Briggs very acutely suggesting that there must
  • have been some obstacle in the shape of a previous attachment,
  • otherwise no young woman in her senses would ever have refused so
  • advantageous a proposal.
  • "You would have accepted it yourself, wouldn't you, Briggs?" Miss
  • Crawley said, kindly.
  • "Would it not be a privilege to be Miss Crawley's sister?" Briggs
  • replied, with meek evasion.
  • "Well, Becky would have made a good Lady Crawley, after all," Miss
  • Crawley remarked (who was mollified by the girl's refusal, and very
  • liberal and generous now there was no call for her sacrifices). "She
  • has brains in plenty (much more wit in her little finger than you have,
  • my poor dear Briggs, in all your head). Her manners are excellent, now
  • I have formed her. She is a Montmorency, Briggs, and blood is
  • something, though I despise it for my part; and she would have held her
  • own amongst those pompous stupid Hampshire people much better than that
  • unfortunate ironmonger's daughter."
  • Briggs coincided as usual, and the "previous attachment" was then
  • discussed in conjectures. "You poor friendless creatures are always
  • having some foolish tendre," Miss Crawley said. "You yourself, you
  • know, were in love with a writing-master (don't cry, Briggs--you're
  • always crying, and it won't bring him to life again), and I suppose
  • this unfortunate Becky has been silly and sentimental too--some
  • apothecary, or house-steward, or painter, or young curate, or something
  • of that sort."
  • "Poor thing! poor thing!" says Briggs (who was thinking of twenty-four
  • years back, and that hectic young writing-master whose lock of yellow
  • hair, and whose letters, beautiful in their illegibility, she cherished
  • in her old desk upstairs). "Poor thing, poor thing!" says Briggs.
  • Once more she was a fresh-cheeked lass of eighteen; she was at evening
  • church, and the hectic writing-master and she were quavering out of the
  • same psalm-book.
  • "After such conduct on Rebecca's part," Miss Crawley said
  • enthusiastically, "our family should do something. Find out who is the
  • objet, Briggs. I'll set him up in a shop; or order my portrait of him,
  • you know; or speak to my cousin, the Bishop and I'll doter Becky, and
  • we'll have a wedding, Briggs, and you shall make the breakfast, and be
  • a bridesmaid."
  • Briggs declared that it would be delightful, and vowed that her dear
  • Miss Crawley was always kind and generous, and went up to Rebecca's
  • bedroom to console her and prattle about the offer, and the refusal,
  • and the cause thereof; and to hint at the generous intentions of Miss
  • Crawley, and to find out who was the gentleman that had the mastery of
  • Miss Sharp's heart.
  • Rebecca was very kind, very affectionate and affected--responded to
  • Briggs's offer of tenderness with grateful fervour--owned there was a
  • secret attachment--a delicious mystery--what a pity Miss Briggs had not
  • remained half a minute longer at the keyhole! Rebecca might, perhaps,
  • have told more: but five minutes after Miss Briggs's arrival in
  • Rebecca's apartment, Miss Crawley actually made her appearance
  • there--an unheard-of honour--her impatience had overcome her; she could
  • not wait for the tardy operations of her ambassadress: so she came in
  • person, and ordered Briggs out of the room. And expressing her approval
  • of Rebecca's conduct, she asked particulars of the interview, and the
  • previous transactions which had brought about the astonishing offer of
  • Sir Pitt.
  • Rebecca said she had long had some notion of the partiality with which
  • Sir Pitt honoured her (for he was in the habit of making his feelings
  • known in a very frank and unreserved manner) but, not to mention
  • private reasons with which she would not for the present trouble Miss
  • Crawley, Sir Pitt's age, station, and habits were such as to render a
  • marriage quite impossible; and could a woman with any feeling of
  • self-respect and any decency listen to proposals at such a moment, when
  • the funeral of the lover's deceased wife had not actually taken place?
  • "Nonsense, my dear, you would never have refused him had there not been
  • some one else in the case," Miss Crawley said, coming to her point at
  • once. "Tell me the private reasons; what are the private reasons?
  • There is some one; who is it that has touched your heart?"
  • Rebecca cast down her eyes, and owned there was. "You have guessed
  • right, dear lady," she said, with a sweet simple faltering voice. "You
  • wonder at one so poor and friendless having an attachment, don't you? I
  • have never heard that poverty was any safeguard against it. I wish it
  • were."
  • "My poor dear child," cried Miss Crawley, who was always quite ready to
  • be sentimental, "is our passion unrequited, then? Are we pining in
  • secret? Tell me all, and let me console you."
  • "I wish you could, dear Madam," Rebecca said in the same tearful tone.
  • "Indeed, indeed, I need it." And she laid her head upon Miss Crawley's
  • shoulder and wept there so naturally that the old lady, surprised into
  • sympathy, embraced her with an almost maternal kindness, uttered many
  • soothing protests of regard and affection for her, vowed that she loved
  • her as a daughter, and would do everything in her power to serve her.
  • "And now who is it, my dear? Is it that pretty Miss Sedley's brother?
  • You said something about an affair with him. I'll ask him here, my
  • dear. And you shall have him: indeed you shall."
  • "Don't ask me now," Rebecca said. "You shall know all soon. Indeed
  • you shall. Dear kind Miss Crawley--dear friend, may I say so?"
  • "That you may, my child," the old lady replied, kissing her.
  • "I can't tell you now," sobbed out Rebecca, "I am very miserable. But
  • O! love me always--promise you will love me always." And in the midst
  • of mutual tears--for the emotions of the younger woman had awakened the
  • sympathies of the elder--this promise was solemnly given by Miss
  • Crawley, who left her little protege, blessing and admiring her as a
  • dear, artless, tender-hearted, affectionate, incomprehensible creature.
  • And now she was left alone to think over the sudden and wonderful
  • events of the day, and of what had been and what might have been. What
  • think you were the private feelings of Miss, no (begging her pardon) of
  • Mrs. Rebecca? If, a few pages back, the present writer claimed the
  • privilege of peeping into Miss Amelia Sedley's bedroom, and
  • understanding with the omniscience of the novelist all the gentle pains
  • and passions which were tossing upon that innocent pillow, why should
  • he not declare himself to be Rebecca's confidante too, master of her
  • secrets, and seal-keeper of that young woman's conscience?
  • Well, then, in the first place, Rebecca gave way to some very sincere
  • and touching regrets that a piece of marvellous good fortune should
  • have been so near her, and she actually obliged to decline it. In this
  • natural emotion every properly regulated mind will certainly share.
  • What good mother is there that would not commiserate a penniless
  • spinster, who might have been my lady, and have shared four thousand a
  • year? What well-bred young person is there in all Vanity Fair, who
  • will not feel for a hard-working, ingenious, meritorious girl, who gets
  • such an honourable, advantageous, provoking offer, just at the very
  • moment when it is out of her power to accept it? I am sure our friend
  • Becky's disappointment deserves and will command every sympathy.
  • I remember one night being in the Fair myself, at an evening party. I
  • observed old Miss Toady there also present, single out for her special
  • attentions and flattery little Mrs. Briefless, the barrister's wife,
  • who is of a good family certainly, but, as we all know, is as poor as
  • poor can be.
  • What, I asked in my own mind, can cause this obsequiousness on the part
  • of Miss Toady; has Briefless got a county court, or has his wife had a
  • fortune left her? Miss Toady explained presently, with that simplicity
  • which distinguishes all her conduct. "You know," she said, "Mrs
  • Briefless is granddaughter of Sir John Redhand, who is so ill at
  • Cheltenham that he can't last six months. Mrs. Briefless's papa
  • succeeds; so you see she will be a baronet's daughter." And Toady asked
  • Briefless and his wife to dinner the very next week.
  • If the mere chance of becoming a baronet's daughter can procure a lady
  • such homage in the world, surely, surely we may respect the agonies of
  • a young woman who has lost the opportunity of becoming a baronet's
  • wife. Who would have dreamed of Lady Crawley dying so soon? She was
  • one of those sickly women that might have lasted these ten
  • years--Rebecca thought to herself, in all the woes of repentance--and I
  • might have been my lady! I might have led that old man whither I
  • would. I might have thanked Mrs. Bute for her patronage, and Mr. Pitt
  • for his insufferable condescension. I would have had the town-house
  • newly furnished and decorated. I would have had the handsomest
  • carriage in London, and a box at the opera; and I would have been
  • presented next season. All this might have been; and now--now all was
  • doubt and mystery.
  • But Rebecca was a young lady of too much resolution and energy of
  • character to permit herself much useless and unseemly sorrow for the
  • irrevocable past; so, having devoted only the proper portion of regret
  • to it, she wisely turned her whole attention towards the future, which
  • was now vastly more important to her. And she surveyed her position,
  • and its hopes, doubts, and chances.
  • In the first place, she was MARRIED--that was a great fact. Sir Pitt
  • knew it. She was not so much surprised into the avowal, as induced to
  • make it by a sudden calculation. It must have come some day: and why
  • not now as at a later period? He who would have married her himself
  • must at least be silent with regard to her marriage. How Miss Crawley
  • would bear the news--was the great question. Misgivings Rebecca had;
  • but she remembered all Miss Crawley had said; the old lady's avowed
  • contempt for birth; her daring liberal opinions; her general romantic
  • propensities; her almost doting attachment to her nephew, and her
  • repeatedly expressed fondness for Rebecca herself. She is so fond of
  • him, Rebecca thought, that she will forgive him anything: she is so
  • used to me that I don't think she could be comfortable without me: when
  • the eclaircissement comes there will be a scene, and hysterics, and a
  • great quarrel, and then a great reconciliation. At all events, what
  • use was there in delaying? the die was thrown, and now or to-morrow the
  • issue must be the same. And so, resolved that Miss Crawley should have
  • the news, the young person debated in her mind as to the best means of
  • conveying it to her; and whether she should face the storm that must
  • come, or fly and avoid it until its first fury was blown over. In this
  • state of meditation she wrote the following letter:
  • Dearest Friend,
  • The great crisis which we have debated about so often is COME. Half of
  • my secret is known, and I have thought and thought, until I am quite
  • sure that now is the time to reveal THE WHOLE OF THE MYSTERY. Sir Pitt
  • came to me this morning, and made--what do you think?--A DECLARATION IN
  • FORM. Think of that! Poor little me. I might have been Lady Crawley.
  • How pleased Mrs. Bute would have been: and ma tante if I had taken
  • precedence of her! I might have been somebody's mamma, instead of--O, I
  • tremble, I tremble, when I think how soon we must tell all!
  • Sir Pitt knows I am married, and not knowing to whom, is not very much
  • displeased as yet. Ma tante is ACTUALLY ANGRY that I should have
  • refused him. But she is all kindness and graciousness. She
  • condescends to say I would have made him a good wife; and vows that she
  • will be a mother to your little Rebecca. She will be shaken when she
  • first hears the news. But need we fear anything beyond a momentary
  • anger? I think not: I AM SURE not. She dotes upon you so (you
  • naughty, good-for-nothing man), that she would pardon you ANYTHING:
  • and, indeed, I believe, the next place in her heart is mine: and that
  • she would be miserable without me. Dearest! something TELLS ME we shall
  • conquer. You shall leave that odious regiment: quit gaming, racing,
  • and BE A GOOD BOY; and we shall all live in Park Lane, and ma tante
  • shall leave us all her money.
  • I shall try and walk to-morrow at 3 in the usual place. If Miss B.
  • accompanies me, you must come to dinner, and bring an answer, and put
  • it in the third volume of Porteus's Sermons. But, at all events, come
  • to your own
  • R.
  • To Miss Eliza Styles, At Mr. Barnet's, Saddler, Knightsbridge.
  • And I trust there is no reader of this little story who has not
  • discernment enough to perceive that the Miss Eliza Styles (an old
  • schoolfellow, Rebecca said, with whom she had resumed an active
  • correspondence of late, and who used to fetch these letters from the
  • saddler's), wore brass spurs, and large curling mustachios, and was
  • indeed no other than Captain Rawdon Crawley.
  • CHAPTER XVI
  • The Letter on the Pincushion
  • How they were married is not of the slightest consequence to anybody.
  • What is to hinder a Captain who is a major, and a young lady who is of
  • age, from purchasing a licence, and uniting themselves at any church in
  • this town? Who needs to be told, that if a woman has a will she will
  • assuredly find a way?--My belief is that one day, when Miss Sharp had
  • gone to pass the forenoon with her dear friend Miss Amelia Sedley in
  • Russell Square, a lady very like her might have been seen entering a
  • church in the City, in company with a gentleman with dyed mustachios,
  • who, after a quarter of an hour's interval, escorted her back to the
  • hackney-coach in waiting, and that this was a quiet bridal party.
  • And who on earth, after the daily experience we have, can question the
  • probability of a gentleman marrying anybody? How many of the wise and
  • learned have married their cooks? Did not Lord Eldon himself, the most
  • prudent of men, make a runaway match? Were not Achilles and Ajax both
  • in love with their servant maids? And are we to expect a heavy dragoon
  • with strong desires and small brains, who had never controlled a
  • passion in his life, to become prudent all of a sudden, and to refuse
  • to pay any price for an indulgence to which he had a mind? If people
  • only made prudent marriages, what a stop to population there would be!
  • It seems to me, for my part, that Mr. Rawdon's marriage was one of the
  • honestest actions which we shall have to record in any portion of that
  • gentleman's biography which has to do with the present history. No one
  • will say it is unmanly to be captivated by a woman, or, being
  • captivated, to marry her; and the admiration, the delight, the passion,
  • the wonder, the unbounded confidence, and frantic adoration with which,
  • by degrees, this big warrior got to regard the little Rebecca, were
  • feelings which the ladies at least will pronounce were not altogether
  • discreditable to him. When she sang, every note thrilled in his dull
  • soul, and tingled through his huge frame. When she spoke, he brought
  • all the force of his brains to listen and wonder. If she was jocular,
  • he used to revolve her jokes in his mind, and explode over them half an
  • hour afterwards in the street, to the surprise of the groom in the
  • tilbury by his side, or the comrade riding with him in Rotten Row. Her
  • words were oracles to him, her smallest actions marked by an infallible
  • grace and wisdom. "How she sings,--how she paints," thought he. "How
  • she rode that kicking mare at Queen's Crawley!" And he would say to
  • her in confidential moments, "By Jove, Beck, you're fit to be
  • Commander-in-Chief, or Archbishop of Canterbury, by Jove." Is his
  • case a rare one? and don't we see every day in the world many an honest
  • Hercules at the apron-strings of Omphale, and great whiskered Samsons
  • prostrate in Delilah's lap?
  • When, then, Becky told him that the great crisis was near, and the time
  • for action had arrived, Rawdon expressed himself as ready to act under
  • her orders, as he would be to charge with his troop at the command of
  • his colonel. There was no need for him to put his letter into the
  • third volume of Porteus. Rebecca easily found a means to get rid of
  • Briggs, her companion, and met her faithful friend in "the usual place"
  • on the next day. She had thought over matters at night, and
  • communicated to Rawdon the result of her determinations. He agreed, of
  • course, to everything; was quite sure that it was all right: that what
  • she proposed was best; that Miss Crawley would infallibly relent, or
  • "come round," as he said, after a time. Had Rebecca's resolutions been
  • entirely different, he would have followed them as implicitly. "You
  • have head enough for both of us, Beck," said he. "You're sure to get
  • us out of the scrape. I never saw your equal, and I've met with some
  • clippers in my time too." And with this simple confession of faith, the
  • love-stricken dragoon left her to execute his part of the project which
  • she had formed for the pair.
  • It consisted simply in the hiring of quiet lodgings at Brompton, or in
  • the neighbourhood of the barracks, for Captain and Mrs. Crawley. For
  • Rebecca had determined, and very prudently, we think, to fly. Rawdon
  • was only too happy at her resolve; he had been entreating her to take
  • this measure any time for weeks past. He pranced off to engage the
  • lodgings with all the impetuosity of love. He agreed to pay two
  • guineas a week so readily, that the landlady regretted she had asked
  • him so little. He ordered in a piano, and half a nursery-house full of
  • flowers: and a heap of good things. As for shawls, kid gloves, silk
  • stockings, gold French watches, bracelets and perfumery, he sent them
  • in with the profusion of blind love and unbounded credit. And having
  • relieved his mind by this outpouring of generosity, he went and dined
  • nervously at the club, waiting until the great moment of his life
  • should come.
  • The occurrences of the previous day; the admirable conduct of
  • Rebecca in refusing an offer so advantageous to her, the secret
  • unhappiness preying upon her, the sweetness and silence with which she
  • bore her affliction, made Miss Crawley much more tender than usual. An
  • event of this nature, a marriage, or a refusal, or a proposal, thrills
  • through a whole household of women, and sets all their hysterical
  • sympathies at work. As an observer of human nature, I regularly
  • frequent St. George's, Hanover Square, during the genteel marriage
  • season; and though I have never seen the bridegroom's male friends give
  • way to tears, or the beadles and officiating clergy any way affected,
  • yet it is not at all uncommon to see women who are not in the least
  • concerned in the operations going on--old ladies who are long past
  • marrying, stout middle-aged females with plenty of sons and daughters,
  • let alone pretty young creatures in pink bonnets, who are on their
  • promotion, and may naturally take an interest in the ceremony--I say it
  • is quite common to see the women present piping, sobbing, sniffling;
  • hiding their little faces in their little useless pocket-handkerchiefs;
  • and heaving, old and young, with emotion. When my friend, the
  • fashionable John Pimlico, married the lovely Lady Belgravia Green
  • Parker, the excitement was so general that even the little snuffy old
  • pew-opener who let me into the seat was in tears. And wherefore? I
  • inquired of my own soul: she was not going to be married.
  • Miss Crawley and Briggs in a word, after the affair of Sir Pitt,
  • indulged in the utmost luxury of sentiment, and Rebecca became an
  • object of the most tender interest to them. In her absence Miss
  • Crawley solaced herself with the most sentimental of the novels in her
  • library. Little Sharp, with her secret griefs, was the heroine of the
  • day.
  • That night Rebecca sang more sweetly and talked more pleasantly than
  • she had ever been heard to do in Park Lane. She twined herself round
  • the heart of Miss Crawley. She spoke lightly and laughingly of Sir
  • Pitt's proposal, ridiculed it as the foolish fancy of an old man; and
  • her eyes filled with tears, and Briggs's heart with unutterable pangs
  • of defeat, as she said she desired no other lot than to remain for ever
  • with her dear benefactress. "My dear little creature," the old lady
  • said, "I don't intend to let you stir for years, that you may depend
  • upon it. As for going back to that odious brother of mine after what
  • has passed, it is out of the question. Here you stay with me and
  • Briggs. Briggs wants to go to see her relations very often. Briggs,
  • you may go when you like. But as for you, my dear, you must stay and
  • take care of the old woman."
  • If Rawdon Crawley had been then and there present, instead of being at
  • the club nervously drinking claret, the pair might have gone down on
  • their knees before the old spinster, avowed all, and been forgiven in a
  • twinkling. But that good chance was denied to the young couple,
  • doubtless in order that this story might be written, in which numbers
  • of their wonderful adventures are narrated--adventures which could
  • never have occurred to them if they had been housed and sheltered under
  • the comfortable uninteresting forgiveness of Miss Crawley.
  • Under Mrs. Firkin's orders, in the Park Lane establishment, was a young
  • woman from Hampshire, whose business it was, among other duties, to
  • knock at Miss Sharp's door with that jug of hot water which Firkin
  • would rather have perished than have presented to the intruder. This
  • girl, bred on the family estate, had a brother in Captain Crawley's
  • troop, and if the truth were known, I daresay it would come out that
  • she was aware of certain arrangements, which have a great deal to do
  • with this history. At any rate she purchased a yellow shawl, a pair of
  • green boots, and a light blue hat with a red feather with three guineas
  • which Rebecca gave her, and as little Sharp was by no means too liberal
  • with her money, no doubt it was for services rendered that Betty Martin
  • was so bribed.
  • On the second day after Sir Pitt Crawley's offer to Miss Sharp, the sun
  • rose as usual, and at the usual hour Betty Martin, the upstairs maid,
  • knocked at the door of the governess's bedchamber.
  • No answer was returned, and she knocked again. Silence was still
  • uninterrupted; and Betty, with the hot water, opened the door and
  • entered the chamber.
  • The little white dimity bed was as smooth and trim as on the day
  • previous, when Betty's own hands had helped to make it. Two little
  • trunks were corded in one end of the room; and on the table before the
  • window--on the pincushion--the great fat pincushion lined with pink
  • inside, and twilled like a lady's nightcap--lay a letter. It had been
  • reposing there probably all night.
  • Betty advanced towards it on tiptoe, as if she were afraid to awake
  • it--looked at it, and round the room, with an air of great wonder and
  • satisfaction; took up the letter, and grinned intensely as she turned
  • it round and over, and finally carried it into Miss Briggs's room below.
  • How could Betty tell that the letter was for Miss Briggs, I should like
  • to know? All the schooling Betty had had was at Mrs. Bute Crawley's
  • Sunday school, and she could no more read writing than Hebrew.
  • "La, Miss Briggs," the girl exclaimed, "O, Miss, something must have
  • happened--there's nobody in Miss Sharp's room; the bed ain't been slep
  • in, and she've run away, and left this letter for you, Miss."
  • "WHAT!" cries Briggs, dropping her comb, the thin wisp of faded hair
  • falling over her shoulders; "an elopement! Miss Sharp a fugitive! What,
  • what is this?" and she eagerly broke the neat seal, and, as they say,
  • "devoured the contents" of the letter addressed to her.
  • Dear Miss Briggs [the refugee wrote], the kindest heart in the world,
  • as yours is, will pity and sympathise with me and excuse me. With
  • tears, and prayers, and blessings, I leave the home where the poor
  • orphan has ever met with kindness and affection. Claims even superior
  • to those of my benefactress call me hence. I go to my duty--to my
  • HUSBAND. Yes, I am married. My husband COMMANDS me to seek the HUMBLE
  • HOME which we call ours. Dearest Miss Briggs, break the news as your
  • delicate sympathy will know how to do it--to my dear, my beloved friend
  • and benefactress. Tell her, ere I went, I shed tears on her dear
  • pillow--that pillow that I have so often soothed in sickness--that I
  • long AGAIN to watch--Oh, with what joy shall I return to dear Park
  • Lane! How I tremble for the answer which is to SEAL MY FATE! When Sir
  • Pitt deigned to offer me his hand, an honour of which my beloved Miss
  • Crawley said I was DESERVING (my blessings go with her for judging the
  • poor orphan worthy to be HER SISTER!) I told Sir Pitt that I was
  • already A WIFE. Even he forgave me. But my courage failed me, when I
  • should have told him all--that I could not be his wife, for I WAS HIS
  • DAUGHTER! I am wedded to the best and most generous of men--Miss
  • Crawley's Rawdon is MY Rawdon. At his COMMAND I open my lips, and
  • follow him to our humble home, as I would THROUGH THE WORLD. O, my
  • excellent and kind friend, intercede with my Rawdon's beloved aunt for
  • him and the poor girl to whom all HIS NOBLE RACE have shown such
  • UNPARALLELED AFFECTION. Ask Miss Crawley to receive HER CHILDREN. I
  • can say no more, but blessings, blessings on all in the dear house I
  • leave, prays
  • Your affectionate and GRATEFUL Rebecca Crawley. Midnight.
  • Just as Briggs had finished reading this affecting and interesting
  • document, which reinstated her in her position as first confidante of
  • Miss Crawley, Mrs. Firkin entered the room. "Here's Mrs. Bute Crawley
  • just arrived by the mail from Hampshire, and wants some tea; will you
  • come down and make breakfast, Miss?"
  • And to the surprise of Firkin, clasping her dressing-gown around her,
  • the wisp of hair floating dishevelled behind her, the little
  • curl-papers still sticking in bunches round her forehead, Briggs sailed
  • down to Mrs. Bute with the letter in her hand containing the wonderful
  • news.
  • "Oh, Mrs. Firkin," gasped Betty, "sech a business. Miss Sharp have a
  • gone and run away with the Capting, and they're off to Gretney Green!"
  • We would devote a chapter to describe the emotions of Mrs. Firkin, did
  • not the passions of her mistresses occupy our genteeler muse.
  • When Mrs. Bute Crawley, numbed with midnight travelling, and warming
  • herself at the newly crackling parlour fire, heard from Miss Briggs the
  • intelligence of the clandestine marriage, she declared it was quite
  • providential that she should have arrived at such a time to assist poor
  • dear Miss Crawley in supporting the shock--that Rebecca was an artful
  • little hussy of whom she had always had her suspicions; and that as for
  • Rawdon Crawley, she never could account for his aunt's infatuation
  • regarding him, and had long considered him a profligate, lost, and
  • abandoned being. And this awful conduct, Mrs. Bute said, will have at
  • least this good effect, it will open poor dear Miss Crawley's eyes to
  • the real character of this wicked man. Then Mrs. Bute had a
  • comfortable hot toast and tea; and as there was a vacant room in the
  • house now, there was no need for her to remain at the Gloster Coffee
  • House where the Portsmouth mail had set her down, and whence she
  • ordered Mr. Bowls's aide-de-camp the footman to bring away her trunks.
  • Miss Crawley, be it known, did not leave her room until near noon--taking
  • chocolate in bed in the morning, while Becky Sharp read the
  • Morning Post to her, or otherwise amusing herself or dawdling. The
  • conspirators below agreed that they would spare the dear lady's
  • feelings until she appeared in her drawing-room: meanwhile it was
  • announced to her that Mrs. Bute Crawley had come up from Hampshire by
  • the mail, was staying at the Gloster, sent her love to Miss Crawley,
  • and asked for breakfast with Miss Briggs. The arrival of Mrs. Bute,
  • which would not have caused any extreme delight at another period, was
  • hailed with pleasure now; Miss Crawley being pleased at the notion of a
  • gossip with her sister-in-law regarding the late Lady Crawley, the
  • funeral arrangements pending, and Sir Pitt's abrupt proposal to Rebecca.
  • It was not until the old lady was fairly ensconced in her usual
  • arm-chair in the drawing-room, and the preliminary embraces and inquiries
  • had taken place between the ladies, that the conspirators thought it
  • advisable to submit her to the operation. Who has not admired the
  • artifices and delicate approaches with which women "prepare" their
  • friends for bad news? Miss Crawley's two friends made such an
  • apparatus of mystery before they broke the intelligence to her, that
  • they worked her up to the necessary degree of doubt and alarm.
  • "And she refused Sir Pitt, my dear, dear Miss Crawley, prepare yourself
  • for it," Mrs. Bute said, "because--because she couldn't help herself."
  • "Of course there was a reason," Miss Crawley answered. "She liked
  • somebody else. I told Briggs so yesterday."
  • "LIKES somebody else!" Briggs gasped. "O my dear friend, she is
  • married already."
  • "Married already," Mrs. Bute chimed in; and both sate with clasped
  • hands looking from each other at their victim.
  • "Send her to me, the instant she comes in. The little sly wretch: how
  • dared she not tell me?" cried out Miss Crawley.
  • "She won't come in soon. Prepare yourself, dear friend--she's gone out
  • for a long time--she's--she's gone altogether."
  • "Gracious goodness, and who's to make my chocolate? Send for her and
  • have her back; I desire that she come back," the old lady said.
  • "She decamped last night, Ma'am," cried Mrs. Bute.
  • "She left a letter for me," Briggs exclaimed. "She's married to--"
  • "Prepare her, for heaven's sake. Don't torture her, my dear Miss
  • Briggs."
  • "She's married to whom?" cries the spinster in a nervous fury.
  • "To--to a relation of--"
  • "She refused Sir Pitt," cried the victim. "Speak at once. Don't drive
  • me mad."
  • "O Ma'am--prepare her, Miss Briggs--she's married to Rawdon Crawley."
  • "Rawdon married Rebecca--governess--nobod-- Get out of my house, you
  • fool, you idiot--you stupid old Briggs--how dare you? You're in the
  • plot--you made him marry, thinking that I'd leave my money from him--you
  • did, Martha," the poor old lady screamed in hysteric sentences.
  • "I, Ma'am, ask a member of this family to marry a drawing-master's
  • daughter?"
  • "Her mother was a Montmorency," cried out the old lady, pulling at the
  • bell with all her might.
  • "Her mother was an opera girl, and she has been on the stage or worse
  • herself," said Mrs. Bute.
  • Miss Crawley gave a final scream, and fell back in a faint. They were
  • forced to take her back to the room which she had just quitted. One fit
  • of hysterics succeeded another. The doctor was sent for--the
  • apothecary arrived. Mrs. Bute took up the post of nurse by her bedside.
  • "Her relations ought to be round about her," that amiable woman said.
  • She had scarcely been carried up to her room, when a new person arrived
  • to whom it was also necessary to break the news. This was Sir Pitt.
  • "Where's Becky?" he said, coming in. "Where's her traps? She's coming
  • with me to Queen's Crawley."
  • "Have you not heard the astonishing intelligence regarding her
  • surreptitious union?" Briggs asked.
  • "What's that to me?" Sir Pitt asked. "I know she's married. That
  • makes no odds. Tell her to come down at once, and not keep me."
  • "Are you not aware, sir," Miss Briggs asked, "that she has left our
  • roof, to the dismay of Miss Crawley, who is nearly killed by the
  • intelligence of Captain Rawdon's union with her?"
  • When Sir Pitt Crawley heard that Rebecca was married to his son, he
  • broke out into a fury of language, which it would do no good to repeat
  • in this place, as indeed it sent poor Briggs shuddering out of the
  • room; and with her we will shut the door upon the figure of the
  • frenzied old man, wild with hatred and insane with baffled desire.
  • One day after he went to Queen's Crawley, he burst like a madman into
  • the room she had used when there--dashed open her boxes with his foot,
  • and flung about her papers, clothes, and other relics. Miss Horrocks,
  • the butler's daughter, took some of them. The children dressed
  • themselves and acted plays in the others. It was but a few days after
  • the poor mother had gone to her lonely burying-place; and was laid,
  • unwept and disregarded, in a vault full of strangers.
  • "Suppose the old lady doesn't come to," Rawdon said to his little wife,
  • as they sate together in the snug little Brompton lodgings. She had
  • been trying the new piano all the morning. The new gloves fitted her
  • to a nicety; the new shawls became her wonderfully; the new rings
  • glittered on her little hands, and the new watch ticked at her waist;
  • "suppose she don't come round, eh, Becky?"
  • "I'LL make your fortune," she said; and Delilah patted Samson's cheek.
  • "You can do anything," he said, kissing the little hand. "By Jove you
  • can; and we'll drive down to the Star and Garter, and dine, by Jove."
  • CHAPTER XVII
  • How Captain Dobbin Bought a Piano
  • If there is any exhibition in all Vanity Fair which Satire and
  • Sentiment can visit arm in arm together; where you light on the
  • strangest contrasts laughable and tearful: where you may be gentle and
  • pathetic, or savage and cynical with perfect propriety: it is at one of
  • those public assemblies, a crowd of which are advertised every day in
  • the last page of the Times newspaper, and over which the late Mr.
  • George Robins used to preside with so much dignity. There are very few
  • London people, as I fancy, who have not attended at these meetings, and
  • all with a taste for moralizing must have thought, with a sensation and
  • interest not a little startling and queer, of the day when their turn
  • shall come too, and Mr. Hammerdown will sell by the orders of Diogenes'
  • assignees, or will be instructed by the executors, to offer to public
  • competition, the library, furniture, plate, wardrobe, and choice cellar
  • of wines of Epicurus deceased.
  • Even with the most selfish disposition, the Vanity Fairian, as he
  • witnesses this sordid part of the obsequies of a departed friend, can't
  • but feel some sympathies and regret. My Lord Dives's remains are in the
  • family vault: the statuaries are cutting an inscription veraciously
  • commemorating his virtues, and the sorrows of his heir, who is
  • disposing of his goods. What guest at Dives's table can pass the
  • familiar house without a sigh?--the familiar house of which the lights
  • used to shine so cheerfully at seven o'clock, of which the hall-doors
  • opened so readily, of which the obsequious servants, as you passed up
  • the comfortable stair, sounded your name from landing to landing, until
  • it reached the apartment where jolly old Dives welcomed his friends!
  • What a number of them he had; and what a noble way of entertaining
  • them. How witty people used to be here who were morose when they got
  • out of the door; and how courteous and friendly men who slandered and
  • hated each other everywhere else! He was pompous, but with such a cook
  • what would one not swallow? he was rather dull, perhaps, but would not
  • such wine make any conversation pleasant? We must get some of his
  • Burgundy at any price, the mourners cry at his club. "I got this box
  • at old Dives's sale," Pincher says, handing it round, "one of Louis
  • XV's mistresses--pretty thing, is it not?--sweet miniature," and they
  • talk of the way in which young Dives is dissipating his fortune.
  • How changed the house is, though! The front is patched over with
  • bills, setting forth the particulars of the furniture in staring
  • capitals. They have hung a shred of carpet out of an upstairs
  • window--a half dozen of porters are lounging on the dirty steps--the
  • hall swarms with dingy guests of oriental countenance, who thrust
  • printed cards into your hand, and offer to bid. Old women and amateurs
  • have invaded the upper apartments, pinching the bed-curtains, poking
  • into the feathers, shampooing the mattresses, and clapping the wardrobe
  • drawers to and fro. Enterprising young housekeepers are measuring the
  • looking-glasses and hangings to see if they will suit the new menage
  • (Snob will brag for years that he has purchased this or that at Dives's
  • sale), and Mr. Hammerdown is sitting on the great mahogany
  • dining-tables, in the dining-room below, waving the ivory hammer, and
  • employing all the artifices of eloquence, enthusiasm, entreaty, reason,
  • despair; shouting to his people; satirizing Mr. Davids for his
  • sluggishness; inspiriting Mr. Moss into action; imploring, commanding,
  • bellowing, until down comes the hammer like fate, and we pass to the
  • next lot. O Dives, who would ever have thought, as we sat round the
  • broad table sparkling with plate and spotless linen, to have seen such
  • a dish at the head of it as that roaring auctioneer?
  • It was rather late in the sale. The excellent drawing-room furniture
  • by the best makers; the rare and famous wines selected, regardless of
  • cost, and with the well-known taste of the purchaser; the rich and
  • complete set of family plate had been sold on the previous days.
  • Certain of the best wines (which all had a great character among
  • amateurs in the neighbourhood) had been purchased for his master, who
  • knew them very well, by the butler of our friend John Osborne, Esquire,
  • of Russell Square. A small portion of the most useful articles of the
  • plate had been bought by some young stockbrokers from the City. And
  • now the public being invited to the purchase of minor objects, it
  • happened that the orator on the table was expatiating on the merits of
  • a picture, which he sought to recommend to his audience: it was by no
  • means so select or numerous a company as had attended the previous days
  • of the auction.
  • "No. 369," roared Mr. Hammerdown. "Portrait of a gentleman on an
  • elephant. Who'll bid for the gentleman on the elephant? Lift up the
  • picture, Blowman, and let the company examine this lot." A long, pale,
  • military-looking gentleman, seated demurely at the mahogany table,
  • could not help grinning as this valuable lot was shown by Mr. Blowman.
  • "Turn the elephant to the Captain, Blowman. What shall we say, sir,
  • for the elephant?" but the Captain, blushing in a very hurried and
  • discomfited manner, turned away his head.
  • "Shall we say twenty guineas for this work of art?--fifteen, five, name
  • your own price. The gentleman without the elephant is worth five
  • pound."
  • "I wonder it ain't come down with him," said a professional wag, "he's
  • anyhow a precious big one"; at which (for the elephant-rider was
  • represented as of a very stout figure) there was a general giggle in
  • the room.
  • "Don't be trying to deprecate the value of the lot, Mr. Moss," Mr.
  • Hammerdown said; "let the company examine it as a work of art--the
  • attitude of the gallant animal quite according to natur'; the gentleman
  • in a nankeen jacket, his gun in his hand, is going to the chase; in the
  • distance a banyhann tree and a pagody, most likely resemblances of some
  • interesting spot in our famous Eastern possessions. How much for this
  • lot? Come, gentlemen, don't keep me here all day."
  • Some one bid five shillings, at which the military gentleman looked
  • towards the quarter from which this splendid offer had come, and there
  • saw another officer with a young lady on his arm, who both appeared to
  • be highly amused with the scene, and to whom, finally, this lot was
  • knocked down for half a guinea. He at the table looked more surprised
  • and discomposed than ever when he spied this pair, and his head sank
  • into his military collar, and he turned his back upon them, so as to
  • avoid them altogether.
  • Of all the other articles which Mr. Hammerdown had the honour to offer
  • for public competition that day it is not our purpose to make mention,
  • save of one only, a little square piano, which came down from the upper
  • regions of the house (the state grand piano having been disposed of
  • previously); this the young lady tried with a rapid and skilful hand
  • (making the officer blush and start again), and for it, when its turn
  • came, her agent began to bid.
  • But there was an opposition here. The Hebrew aide-de-camp in the
  • service of the officer at the table bid against the Hebrew gentleman
  • employed by the elephant purchasers, and a brisk battle ensued over
  • this little piano, the combatants being greatly encouraged by Mr.
  • Hammerdown.
  • At last, when the competition had been prolonged for some time, the
  • elephant captain and lady desisted from the race; and the hammer coming
  • down, the auctioneer said:--"Mr. Lewis, twenty-five," and Mr. Lewis's
  • chief thus became the proprietor of the little square piano. Having
  • effected the purchase, he sate up as if he was greatly relieved, and
  • the unsuccessful competitors catching a glimpse of him at this moment,
  • the lady said to her friend,
  • "Why, Rawdon, it's Captain Dobbin."
  • I suppose Becky was discontented with the new piano her husband had
  • hired for her, or perhaps the proprietors of that instrument had
  • fetched it away, declining farther credit, or perhaps she had a
  • particular attachment for the one which she had just tried to purchase,
  • recollecting it in old days, when she used to play upon it, in the
  • little sitting-room of our dear Amelia Sedley.
  • The sale was at the old house in Russell Square, where we passed some
  • evenings together at the beginning of this story. Good old John Sedley
  • was a ruined man. His name had been proclaimed as a defaulter on the
  • Stock Exchange, and his bankruptcy and commercial extermination had
  • followed. Mr. Osborne's butler came to buy some of the famous port
  • wine to transfer to the cellars over the way. As for one dozen
  • well-manufactured silver spoons and forks at per oz., and one dozen
  • dessert ditto ditto, there were three young stockbrokers (Messrs. Dale,
  • Spiggot, and Dale, of Threadneedle Street, indeed), who, having had
  • dealings with the old man, and kindnesses from him in days when he was
  • kind to everybody with whom he dealt, sent this little spar out of the
  • wreck with their love to good Mrs. Sedley; and with respect to the
  • piano, as it had been Amelia's, and as she might miss it and want one
  • now, and as Captain William Dobbin could no more play upon it than he
  • could dance on the tight rope, it is probable that he did not purchase
  • the instrument for his own use.
  • In a word, it arrived that evening at a wonderful small cottage in a
  • street leading from the Fulham Road--one of those streets which have
  • the finest romantic names--(this was called St. Adelaide Villas,
  • Anna-Maria Road West), where the houses look like baby-houses; where
  • the people, looking out of the first-floor windows, must infallibly, as
  • you think, sit with their feet in the parlours; where the shrubs in the
  • little gardens in front bloom with a perennial display of little
  • children's pinafores, little red socks, caps, &c. (polyandria
  • polygynia); whence you hear the sound of jingling spinets and women
  • singing; where little porter pots hang on the railings sunning
  • themselves; whither of evenings you see City clerks padding wearily:
  • here it was that Mr. Clapp, the clerk of Mr. Sedley, had his domicile,
  • and in this asylum the good old gentleman hid his head with his wife
  • and daughter when the crash came.
  • Jos Sedley had acted as a man of his disposition would, when the
  • announcement of the family misfortune reached him. He did not come to
  • London, but he wrote to his mother to draw upon his agents for whatever
  • money was wanted, so that his kind broken-spirited old parents had no
  • present poverty to fear. This done, Jos went on at the boarding-house
  • at Cheltenham pretty much as before. He drove his curricle; he drank
  • his claret; he played his rubber; he told his Indian stories, and the
  • Irish widow consoled and flattered him as usual. His present of money,
  • needful as it was, made little impression on his parents; and I have
  • heard Amelia say that the first day on which she saw her father lift up
  • his head after the failure was on the receipt of the packet of forks
  • and spoons with the young stockbrokers' love, over which he burst out
  • crying like a child, being greatly more affected than even his wife, to
  • whom the present was addressed. Edward Dale, the junior of the house,
  • who purchased the spoons for the firm, was, in fact, very sweet upon
  • Amelia, and offered for her in spite of all. He married Miss Louisa
  • Cutts (daughter of Higham and Cutts, the eminent cornfactors) with a
  • handsome fortune in 1820; and is now living in splendour, and with a
  • numerous family, at his elegant villa, Muswell Hill. But we must not
  • let the recollections of this good fellow cause us to diverge from the
  • principal history.
  • I hope the reader has much too good an opinion of Captain and Mrs.
  • Crawley to suppose that they ever would have dreamed of paying a visit
  • to so remote a district as Bloomsbury, if they thought the family whom
  • they proposed to honour with a visit were not merely out of fashion,
  • but out of money, and could be serviceable to them in no possible
  • manner. Rebecca was entirely surprised at the sight of the comfortable
  • old house where she had met with no small kindness, ransacked by
  • brokers and bargainers, and its quiet family treasures given up to
  • public desecration and plunder. A month after her flight, she had
  • bethought her of Amelia, and Rawdon, with a horse-laugh, had expressed
  • a perfect willingness to see young George Osborne again. "He's a very
  • agreeable acquaintance, Beck," the wag added. "I'd like to sell him
  • another horse, Beck. I'd like to play a few more games at billiards
  • with him. He'd be what I call useful just now, Mrs. C.--ha, ha!" by
  • which sort of speech it is not to be supposed that Rawdon Crawley had a
  • deliberate desire to cheat Mr. Osborne at play, but only wished to take
  • that fair advantage of him which almost every sporting gentleman in
  • Vanity Fair considers to be his due from his neighbour.
  • The old aunt was long in "coming-to." A month had elapsed. Rawdon was
  • denied the door by Mr. Bowls; his servants could not get a lodgment in
  • the house at Park Lane; his letters were sent back unopened. Miss
  • Crawley never stirred out--she was unwell--and Mrs. Bute remained still
  • and never left her. Crawley and his wife both of them augured evil
  • from the continued presence of Mrs. Bute.
  • "Gad, I begin to perceive now why she was always bringing us together
  • at Queen's Crawley," Rawdon said.
  • "What an artful little woman!" ejaculated Rebecca.
  • "Well, I don't regret it, if you don't," the Captain cried, still in an
  • amorous rapture with his wife, who rewarded him with a kiss by way of
  • reply, and was indeed not a little gratified by the generous confidence
  • of her husband.
  • "If he had but a little more brains," she thought to herself, "I might
  • make something of him"; but she never let him perceive the opinion she
  • had of him; listened with indefatigable complacency to his stories of
  • the stable and the mess; laughed at all his jokes; felt the greatest
  • interest in Jack Spatterdash, whose cab-horse had come down, and Bob
  • Martingale, who had been taken up in a gambling-house, and Tom
  • Cinqbars, who was going to ride the steeplechase. When he came home she
  • was alert and happy: when he went out she pressed him to go: when he
  • stayed at home, she played and sang for him, made him good drinks,
  • superintended his dinner, warmed his slippers, and steeped his soul in
  • comfort. The best of women (I have heard my grandmother say) are
  • hypocrites. We don't know how much they hide from us: how watchful
  • they are when they seem most artless and confidential: how often those
  • frank smiles which they wear so easily, are traps to cajole or elude or
  • disarm--I don't mean in your mere coquettes, but your domestic models,
  • and paragons of female virtue. Who has not seen a woman hide the
  • dulness of a stupid husband, or coax the fury of a savage one? We
  • accept this amiable slavishness, and praise a woman for it: we call
  • this pretty treachery truth. A good housewife is of necessity a
  • humbug; and Cornelia's husband was hoodwinked, as Potiphar was--only in
  • a different way.
  • By these attentions, that veteran rake, Rawdon Crawley, found himself
  • converted into a very happy and submissive married man. His former
  • haunts knew him not. They asked about him once or twice at his clubs,
  • but did not miss him much: in those booths of Vanity Fair people seldom
  • do miss each other. His secluded wife ever smiling and cheerful, his
  • little comfortable lodgings, snug meals, and homely evenings, had all
  • the charms of novelty and secrecy. The marriage was not yet declared
  • to the world, or published in the Morning Post. All his creditors
  • would have come rushing on him in a body, had they known that he was
  • united to a woman without fortune. "My relations won't cry fie upon
  • me," Becky said, with rather a bitter laugh; and she was quite
  • contented to wait until the old aunt should be reconciled, before she
  • claimed her place in society. So she lived at Brompton, and meanwhile
  • saw no one, or only those few of her husband's male companions who were
  • admitted into her little dining-room. These were all charmed with her.
  • The little dinners, the laughing and chatting, the music afterwards,
  • delighted all who participated in these enjoyments. Major Martingale
  • never thought about asking to see the marriage licence, Captain
  • Cinqbars was perfectly enchanted with her skill in making punch. And
  • young Lieutenant Spatterdash (who was fond of piquet, and whom Crawley
  • would often invite) was evidently and quickly smitten by Mrs. Crawley;
  • but her own circumspection and modesty never forsook her for a moment,
  • and Crawley's reputation as a fire-eating and jealous warrior was a
  • further and complete defence to his little wife.
  • There are gentlemen of very good blood and fashion in this city, who
  • never have entered a lady's drawing-room; so that though Rawdon
  • Crawley's marriage might be talked about in his county, where, of
  • course, Mrs. Bute had spread the news, in London it was doubted, or not
  • heeded, or not talked about at all. He lived comfortably on credit.
  • He had a large capital of debts, which laid out judiciously, will carry
  • a man along for many years, and on which certain men about town
  • contrive to live a hundred times better than even men with ready money
  • can do. Indeed who is there that walks London streets, but can point
  • out a half-dozen of men riding by him splendidly, while he is on foot,
  • courted by fashion, bowed into their carriages by tradesmen, denying
  • themselves nothing, and living on who knows what? We see Jack
  • Thriftless prancing in the park, or darting in his brougham down Pall
  • Mall: we eat his dinners served on his miraculous plate. "How did this
  • begin," we say, "or where will it end?" "My dear fellow," I heard Jack
  • once say, "I owe money in every capital in Europe." The end must come
  • some day, but in the meantime Jack thrives as much as ever; people are
  • glad enough to shake him by the hand, ignore the little dark stories
  • that are whispered every now and then against him, and pronounce him a
  • good-natured, jovial, reckless fellow.
  • Truth obliges us to confess that Rebecca had married a gentleman of
  • this order. Everything was plentiful in his house but ready money, of
  • which their menage pretty early felt the want; and reading the Gazette
  • one day, and coming upon the announcement of "Lieutenant G. Osborne to
  • be Captain by purchase, vice Smith, who exchanges," Rawdon uttered that
  • sentiment regarding Amelia's lover, which ended in the visit to Russell
  • Square.
  • When Rawdon and his wife wished to communicate with Captain Dobbin at
  • the sale, and to know particulars of the catastrophe which had befallen
  • Rebecca's old acquaintances, the Captain had vanished; and such
  • information as they got was from a stray porter or broker at the
  • auction.
  • "Look at them with their hooked beaks," Becky said, getting into the
  • buggy, her picture under her arm, in great glee. "They're like
  • vultures after a battle."
  • "Don't know. Never was in action, my dear. Ask Martingale; he was in
  • Spain, aide-de-camp to General Blazes."
  • "He was a very kind old man, Mr. Sedley," Rebecca said; "I'm really
  • sorry he's gone wrong."
  • "O stockbrokers--bankrupts--used to it, you know," Rawdon replied,
  • cutting a fly off the horse's ear.
  • "I wish we could have afforded some of the plate, Rawdon," the wife
  • continued sentimentally. "Five-and-twenty guineas was monstrously dear
  • for that little piano. We chose it at Broadwood's for Amelia, when she
  • came from school. It only cost five-and-thirty then."
  • "What-d'-ye-call'em--'Osborne,' will cry off now, I suppose, since the
  • family is smashed. How cut up your pretty little friend will be; hey,
  • Becky?"
  • "I daresay she'll recover it," Becky said with a smile--and they drove
  • on and talked about something else.
  • CHAPTER XVIII
  • Who Played on the Piano Captain Dobbin Bought
  • Our surprised story now finds itself for a moment among very famous
  • events and personages, and hanging on to the skirts of history. When
  • the eagles of Napoleon Bonaparte, the Corsican upstart, were flying
  • from Provence, where they had perched after a brief sojourn in Elba,
  • and from steeple to steeple until they reached the towers of Notre
  • Dame, I wonder whether the Imperial birds had any eye for a little
  • corner of the parish of Bloomsbury, London, which you might have
  • thought so quiet, that even the whirring and flapping of those mighty
  • wings would pass unobserved there?
  • "Napoleon has landed at Cannes." Such news might create a panic at
  • Vienna, and cause Russia to drop his cards, and take Prussia into a
  • corner, and Talleyrand and Metternich to wag their heads together,
  • while Prince Hardenberg, and even the present Marquis of Londonderry,
  • were puzzled; but how was this intelligence to affect a young lady in
  • Russell Square, before whose door the watchman sang the hours when she
  • was asleep: who, if she strolled in the square, was guarded there by
  • the railings and the beadle: who, if she walked ever so short a
  • distance to buy a ribbon in Southampton Row, was followed by Black
  • Sambo with an enormous cane: who was always cared for, dressed, put to
  • bed, and watched over by ever so many guardian angels, with and without
  • wages? Bon Dieu, I say, is it not hard that the fateful rush of the
  • great Imperial struggle can't take place without affecting a poor
  • little harmless girl of eighteen, who is occupied in billing and
  • cooing, or working muslin collars in Russell Square? You too, kindly,
  • homely flower!--is the great roaring war tempest coming to sweep you
  • down, here, although cowering under the shelter of Holborn? Yes;
  • Napoleon is flinging his last stake, and poor little Emmy Sedley's
  • happiness forms, somehow, part of it.
  • In the first place, her father's fortune was swept down with that fatal
  • news. All his speculations had of late gone wrong with the luckless
  • old gentleman. Ventures had failed; merchants had broken; funds had
  • risen when he calculated they would fall. What need to particularize?
  • If success is rare and slow, everybody knows how quick and easy ruin
  • is. Old Sedley had kept his own sad counsel. Everything seemed to go
  • on as usual in the quiet, opulent house; the good-natured mistress
  • pursuing, quite unsuspiciously, her bustling idleness, and daily easy
  • avocations; the daughter absorbed still in one selfish, tender thought,
  • and quite regardless of all the world besides, when that final crash
  • came, under which the worthy family fell.
  • One night Mrs. Sedley was writing cards for a party; the Osbornes had
  • given one, and she must not be behindhand; John Sedley, who had come
  • home very late from the City, sate silent at the chimney side, while
  • his wife was prattling to him; Emmy had gone up to her room ailing and
  • low-spirited. "She's not happy," the mother went on. "George Osborne
  • neglects her. I've no patience with the airs of those people. The
  • girls have not been in the house these three weeks; and George has been
  • twice in town without coming. Edward Dale saw him at the Opera.
  • Edward would marry her I'm sure: and there's Captain Dobbin who, I
  • think, would--only I hate all army men. Such a dandy as George has
  • become. With his military airs, indeed! We must show some folks that
  • we're as good as they. Only give Edward Dale any encouragement, and
  • you'll see. We must have a party, Mr. S. Why don't you speak, John?
  • Shall I say Tuesday fortnight? Why don't you answer? Good God, John,
  • what has happened?"
  • John Sedley sprang up out of his chair to meet his wife, who ran to
  • him. He seized her in his arms, and said with a hasty voice, "We're
  • ruined, Mary. We've got the world to begin over again, dear. It's
  • best that you should know all, and at once." As he spoke, he trembled
  • in every limb, and almost fell. He thought the news would have
  • overpowered his wife--his wife, to whom he had never said a hard word.
  • But it was he that was the most moved, sudden as the shock was to her.
  • When he sank back into his seat, it was the wife that took the office
  • of consoler. She took his trembling hand, and kissed it, and put it
  • round her neck: she called him her John--her dear John--her old
  • man--her kind old man; she poured out a hundred words of incoherent
  • love and tenderness; her faithful voice and simple caresses wrought
  • this sad heart up to an inexpressible delight and anguish, and cheered
  • and solaced his over-burdened soul.
  • Only once in the course of the long night as they sate together, and
  • poor Sedley opened his pent-up soul, and told the story of his losses
  • and embarrassments--the treason of some of his oldest friends, the
  • manly kindness of some, from whom he never could have expected it--in a
  • general confession--only once did the faithful wife give way to emotion.
  • "My God, my God, it will break Emmy's heart," she said.
  • The father had forgotten the poor girl. She was lying, awake and
  • unhappy, overhead. In the midst of friends, home, and kind parents,
  • she was alone. To how many people can any one tell all? Who will be
  • open where there is no sympathy, or has call to speak to those who
  • never can understand? Our gentle Amelia was thus solitary. She had no
  • confidante, so to speak, ever since she had anything to confide. She
  • could not tell the old mother her doubts and cares; the would-be
  • sisters seemed every day more strange to her. And she had misgivings
  • and fears which she dared not acknowledge to herself, though she was
  • always secretly brooding over them.
  • Her heart tried to persist in asserting that George Osborne was worthy
  • and faithful to her, though she knew otherwise. How many a thing had
  • she said, and got no echo from him. How many suspicions of selfishness
  • and indifference had she to encounter and obstinately overcome. To
  • whom could the poor little martyr tell these daily struggles and
  • tortures? Her hero himself only half understood her. She did not dare
  • to own that the man she loved was her inferior; or to feel that she had
  • given her heart away too soon. Given once, the pure bashful maiden was
  • too modest, too tender, too trustful, too weak, too much woman to
  • recall it. We are Turks with the affections of our women; and have
  • made them subscribe to our doctrine too. We let their bodies go abroad
  • liberally enough, with smiles and ringlets and pink bonnets to disguise
  • them instead of veils and yakmaks. But their souls must be seen by
  • only one man, and they obey not unwillingly, and consent to remain at
  • home as our slaves--ministering to us and doing drudgery for us.
  • So imprisoned and tortured was this gentle little heart, when in the
  • month of March, Anno Domini 1815, Napoleon landed at Cannes, and Louis
  • XVIII fled, and all Europe was in alarm, and the funds fell, and old
  • John Sedley was ruined.
  • We are not going to follow the worthy old stockbroker through those
  • last pangs and agonies of ruin through which he passed before his
  • commercial demise befell. They declared him at the Stock Exchange; he
  • was absent from his house of business: his bills were protested: his
  • act of bankruptcy formal. The house and furniture of Russell Square
  • were seized and sold up, and he and his family were thrust away, as we
  • have seen, to hide their heads where they might.
  • John Sedley had not the heart to review the domestic establishment who
  • have appeared now and anon in our pages and of whom he was now forced
  • by poverty to take leave. The wages of those worthy people were
  • discharged with that punctuality which men frequently show who only owe
  • in great sums--they were sorry to leave good places--but they did not
  • break their hearts at parting from their adored master and mistress.
  • Amelia's maid was profuse in condolences, but went off quite resigned
  • to better herself in a genteeler quarter of the town. Black Sambo,
  • with the infatuation of his profession, determined on setting up a
  • public-house. Honest old Mrs. Blenkinsop indeed, who had seen the
  • birth of Jos and Amelia, and the wooing of John Sedley and his wife,
  • was for staying by them without wages, having amassed a considerable
  • sum in their service: and she accompanied the fallen people into their
  • new and humble place of refuge, where she tended them and grumbled
  • against them for a while.
  • Of all Sedley's opponents in his debates with his creditors which now
  • ensued, and harassed the feelings of the humiliated old gentleman so
  • severely, that in six weeks he oldened more than he had done for
  • fifteen years before--the most determined and obstinate seemed to be
  • John Osborne, his old friend and neighbour--John Osborne, whom he had
  • set up in life--who was under a hundred obligations to him--and whose
  • son was to marry Sedley's daughter. Any one of these circumstances
  • would account for the bitterness of Osborne's opposition.
  • When one man has been under very remarkable obligations to another,
  • with whom he subsequently quarrels, a common sense of decency, as it
  • were, makes of the former a much severer enemy than a mere stranger
  • would be. To account for your own hard-heartedness and ingratitude in
  • such a case, you are bound to prove the other party's crime. It is not
  • that you are selfish, brutal, and angry at the failure of a
  • speculation--no, no--it is that your partner has led you into it by the
  • basest treachery and with the most sinister motives. From a mere sense
  • of consistency, a persecutor is bound to show that the fallen man is a
  • villain--otherwise he, the persecutor, is a wretch himself.
  • And as a general rule, which may make all creditors who are inclined to
  • be severe pretty comfortable in their minds, no men embarrassed are
  • altogether honest, very likely. They conceal something; they
  • exaggerate chances of good luck; hide away the real state of affairs;
  • say that things are flourishing when they are hopeless, keep a smiling
  • face (a dreary smile it is) upon the verge of bankruptcy--are ready to
  • lay hold of any pretext for delay or of any money, so as to stave off
  • the inevitable ruin a few days longer. "Down with such dishonesty,"
  • says the creditor in triumph, and reviles his sinking enemy. "You
  • fool, why do you catch at a straw?" calm good sense says to the man
  • that is drowning. "You villain, why do you shrink from plunging into
  • the irretrievable Gazette?" says prosperity to the poor devil battling
  • in that black gulf. Who has not remarked the readiness with which the
  • closest of friends and honestest of men suspect and accuse each other
  • of cheating when they fall out on money matters? Everybody does it.
  • Everybody is right, I suppose, and the world is a rogue.
  • Then Osborne had the intolerable sense of former benefits to goad and
  • irritate him: these are always a cause of hostility aggravated.
  • Finally, he had to break off the match between Sedley's daughter and
  • his son; and as it had gone very far indeed, and as the poor girl's
  • happiness and perhaps character were compromised, it was necessary to
  • show the strongest reasons for the rupture, and for John Osborne to
  • prove John Sedley to be a very bad character indeed.
  • At the meetings of creditors, then, he comported himself with a
  • savageness and scorn towards Sedley, which almost succeeded in breaking
  • the heart of that ruined bankrupt man. On George's intercourse with
  • Amelia he put an instant veto--menacing the youth with maledictions if
  • he broke his commands, and vilipending the poor innocent girl as the
  • basest and most artful of vixens. One of the great conditions of anger
  • and hatred is, that you must tell and believe lies against the hated
  • object, in order, as we said, to be consistent.
  • When the great crash came--the announcement of ruin, and the departure
  • from Russell Square, and the declaration that all was over between her
  • and George--all over between her and love, her and happiness, her and
  • faith in the world--a brutal letter from John Osborne told her in a few
  • curt lines that her father's conduct had been of such a nature that all
  • engagements between the families were at an end--when the final award
  • came, it did not shock her so much as her parents, as her mother rather
  • expected (for John Sedley himself was entirely prostrate in the ruins
  • of his own affairs and shattered honour). Amelia took the news very
  • palely and calmly. It was only the confirmation of the dark presages
  • which had long gone before. It was the mere reading of the
  • sentence--of the crime she had long ago been guilty--the crime of
  • loving wrongly, too violently, against reason. She told no more of her
  • thoughts now than she had before. She seemed scarcely more unhappy now
  • when convinced all hope was over, than before when she felt but dared
  • not confess that it was gone. So she changed from the large house to
  • the small one without any mark or difference; remained in her little
  • room for the most part; pined silently; and died away day by day. I do
  • not mean to say that all females are so. My dear Miss Bullock, I do
  • not think your heart would break in this way. You are a strong-minded
  • young woman with proper principles. I do not venture to say that mine
  • would; it has suffered, and, it must be confessed, survived. But there
  • are some souls thus gently constituted, thus frail, and delicate, and
  • tender.
  • Whenever old John Sedley thought of the affair between George and
  • Amelia, or alluded to it, it was with bitterness almost as great as Mr.
  • Osborne himself had shown. He cursed Osborne and his family as
  • heartless, wicked, and ungrateful. No power on earth, he swore, would
  • induce him to marry his daughter to the son of such a villain, and he
  • ordered Emmy to banish George from her mind, and to return all the
  • presents and letters which she had ever had from him.
  • She promised acquiescence, and tried to obey. She put up the two or
  • three trinkets: and, as for the letters, she drew them out of the place
  • where she kept them; and read them over--as if she did not know them by
  • heart already: but she could not part with them. That effort was too
  • much for her; she placed them back in her bosom again--as you have seen
  • a woman nurse a child that is dead. Young Amelia felt that she would
  • die or lose her senses outright, if torn away from this last
  • consolation. How she used to blush and lighten up when those letters
  • came! How she used to trip away with a beating heart, so that she
  • might read unseen! If they were cold, yet how perversely this fond
  • little soul interpreted them into warmth. If they were short or
  • selfish, what excuses she found for the writer!
  • It was over these few worthless papers that she brooded and brooded.
  • She lived in her past life--every letter seemed to recall some
  • circumstance of it. How well she remembered them all! His looks and
  • tones, his dress, what he said and how--these relics and remembrances
  • of dead affection were all that were left her in the world. And the
  • business of her life, was--to watch the corpse of Love.
  • To death she looked with inexpressible longing. Then, she thought, I
  • shall always be able to follow him. I am not praising her conduct or
  • setting her up as a model for Miss Bullock to imitate. Miss B. knows
  • how to regulate her feelings better than this poor little creature.
  • Miss B. would never have committed herself as that imprudent Amelia had
  • done; pledged her love irretrievably; confessed her heart away, and got
  • back nothing--only a brittle promise which was snapt and worthless in a
  • moment. A long engagement is a partnership which one party is free to
  • keep or to break, but which involves all the capital of the other.
  • Be cautious then, young ladies; be wary how you engage. Be shy of
  • loving frankly; never tell all you feel, or (a better way still), feel
  • very little. See the consequences of being prematurely honest and
  • confiding, and mistrust yourselves and everybody. Get yourselves
  • married as they do in France, where the lawyers are the bridesmaids and
  • confidantes. At any rate, never have any feelings which may make you
  • uncomfortable, or make any promises which you cannot at any required
  • moment command and withdraw. That is the way to get on, and be
  • respected, and have a virtuous character in Vanity Fair.
  • If Amelia could have heard the comments regarding her which were made
  • in the circle from which her father's ruin had just driven her, she
  • would have seen what her own crimes were, and how entirely her
  • character was jeopardised. Such criminal imprudence Mrs. Smith never
  • knew of; such horrid familiarities Mrs. Brown had always condemned, and
  • the end might be a warning to HER daughters. "Captain Osborne, of
  • course, could not marry a bankrupt's daughter," the Misses Dobbin said.
  • "It was quite enough to have been swindled by the father. As for that
  • little Amelia, her folly had really passed all--"
  • "All what?" Captain Dobbin roared out. "Haven't they been engaged ever
  • since they were children? Wasn't it as good as a marriage? Dare any
  • soul on earth breathe a word against the sweetest, the purest, the
  • tenderest, the most angelical of young women?"
  • "La, William, don't be so highty-tighty with US. We're not men. We
  • can't fight you," Miss Jane said. "We've said nothing against Miss
  • Sedley: but that her conduct throughout was MOST IMPRUDENT, not to call
  • it by any worse name; and that her parents are people who certainly
  • merit their misfortunes."
  • "Hadn't you better, now that Miss Sedley is free, propose for her
  • yourself, William?" Miss Ann asked sarcastically. "It would be a most
  • eligible family connection. He! he!"
  • "I marry her!" Dobbin said, blushing very much, and talking quick. "If
  • you are so ready, young ladies, to chop and change, do you suppose that
  • she is? Laugh and sneer at that angel. She can't hear it; and she's
  • miserable and unfortunate, and deserves to be laughed at. Go on
  • joking, Ann. You're the wit of the family, and the others like to hear
  • it."
  • "I must tell you again we're not in a barrack, William," Miss Ann
  • remarked.
  • "In a barrack, by Jove--I wish anybody in a barrack would say what you
  • do," cried out this uproused British lion. "I should like to hear a
  • man breathe a word against her, by Jupiter. But men don't talk in this
  • way, Ann: it's only women, who get together and hiss, and shriek, and
  • cackle. There, get away--don't begin to cry. I only said you were a
  • couple of geese," Will Dobbin said, perceiving Miss Ann's pink eyes
  • were beginning to moisten as usual. "Well, you're not geese, you're
  • swans--anything you like, only do, do leave Miss Sedley alone."
  • Anything like William's infatuation about that silly little flirting,
  • ogling thing was never known, the mamma and sisters agreed together in
  • thinking: and they trembled lest, her engagement being off with
  • Osborne, she should take up immediately her other admirer and Captain.
  • In which forebodings these worthy young women no doubt judged according
  • to the best of their experience; or rather (for as yet they had had no
  • opportunities of marrying or of jilting) according to their own notions
  • of right and wrong.
  • "It is a mercy, Mamma, that the regiment is ordered abroad," the girls
  • said. "THIS danger, at any rate, is spared our brother."
  • Such, indeed, was the fact; and so it is that the French Emperor comes
  • in to perform a part in this domestic comedy of Vanity Fair which we
  • are now playing, and which would never have been enacted without the
  • intervention of this august mute personage. It was he that ruined the
  • Bourbons and Mr. John Sedley. It was he whose arrival in his capital
  • called up all France in arms to defend him there; and all Europe to
  • oust him. While the French nation and army were swearing fidelity round
  • the eagles in the Champ de Mars, four mighty European hosts were
  • getting in motion for the great chasse a l'aigle; and one of these was
  • a British army, of which two heroes of ours, Captain Dobbin and Captain
  • Osborne, formed a portion.
  • The news of Napoleon's escape and landing was received by the gallant
  • --th with a fiery delight and enthusiasm, which everybody can
  • understand who knows that famous corps. From the colonel to the
  • smallest drummer in the regiment, all were filled with hope and
  • ambition and patriotic fury; and thanked the French Emperor as for a
  • personal kindness in coming to disturb the peace of Europe. Now was
  • the time the --th had so long panted for, to show their comrades in
  • arms that they could fight as well as the Peninsular veterans, and that
  • all the pluck and valour of the --th had not been killed by the West
  • Indies and the yellow fever. Stubble and Spooney looked to get their
  • companies without purchase. Before the end of the campaign (which she
  • resolved to share), Mrs. Major O'Dowd hoped to write herself Mrs.
  • Colonel O'Dowd, C.B. Our two friends (Dobbin and Osborne) were quite
  • as much excited as the rest: and each in his way--Mr. Dobbin very
  • quietly, Mr. Osborne very loudly and energetically--was bent upon doing
  • his duty, and gaining his share of honour and distinction.
  • The agitation thrilling through the country and army in consequence of
  • this news was so great, that private matters were little heeded: and
  • hence probably George Osborne, just gazetted to his company, busy with
  • preparations for the march, which must come inevitably, and panting for
  • further promotion--was not so much affected by other incidents which
  • would have interested him at a more quiet period. He was not, it must
  • be confessed, very much cast down by good old Mr. Sedley's catastrophe.
  • He tried his new uniform, which became him very handsomely, on the day
  • when the first meeting of the creditors of the unfortunate gentleman
  • took place. His father told him of the wicked, rascally, shameful
  • conduct of the bankrupt, reminded him of what he had said about Amelia,
  • and that their connection was broken off for ever; and gave him that
  • evening a good sum of money to pay for the new clothes and epaulets in
  • which he looked so well. Money was always useful to this free-handed
  • young fellow, and he took it without many words. The bills were up in
  • the Sedley house, where he had passed so many, many happy hours. He
  • could see them as he walked from home that night (to the Old
  • Slaughters', where he put up when in town) shining white in the moon.
  • That comfortable home was shut, then, upon Amelia and her parents:
  • where had they taken refuge? The thought of their ruin affected him not
  • a little. He was very melancholy that night in the coffee-room at the
  • Slaughters'; and drank a good deal, as his comrades remarked there.
  • Dobbin came in presently, cautioned him about the drink, which he only
  • took, he said, because he was deuced low; but when his friend began to
  • put to him clumsy inquiries, and asked him for news in a significant
  • manner, Osborne declined entering into conversation with him, avowing,
  • however, that he was devilish disturbed and unhappy.
  • Three days afterwards, Dobbin found Osborne in his room at the
  • barracks--his head on the table, a number of papers about, the young
  • Captain evidently in a state of great despondency. "She--she's sent me
  • back some things I gave her--some damned trinkets. Look here!" There
  • was a little packet directed in the well-known hand to Captain George
  • Osborne, and some things lying about--a ring, a silver knife he had
  • bought, as a boy, for her at a fair; a gold chain, and a locket with
  • hair in it. "It's all over," said he, with a groan of sickening
  • remorse. "Look, Will, you may read it if you like."
  • There was a little letter of a few lines, to which he pointed, which
  • said:
  • My papa has ordered me to return to you these presents, which you made
  • in happier days to me; and I am to write to you for the last time. I
  • think, I know you feel as much as I do the blow which has come upon us.
  • It is I that absolve you from an engagement which is impossible in our
  • present misery. I am sure you had no share in it, or in the cruel
  • suspicions of Mr. Osborne, which are the hardest of all our griefs to
  • bear. Farewell. Farewell. I pray God to strengthen me to bear this
  • and other calamities, and to bless you always. A.
  • I shall often play upon the piano--your piano. It was like you to send
  • it.
  • Dobbin was very soft-hearted. The sight of women and children in pain
  • always used to melt him. The idea of Amelia broken-hearted and lonely
  • tore that good-natured soul with anguish. And he broke out into an
  • emotion, which anybody who likes may consider unmanly. He swore that
  • Amelia was an angel, to which Osborne said aye with all his heart. He,
  • too, had been reviewing the history of their lives--and had seen her
  • from her childhood to her present age, so sweet, so innocent, so
  • charmingly simple, and artlessly fond and tender.
  • What a pang it was to lose all that: to have had it and not prized it!
  • A thousand homely scenes and recollections crowded on him--in which he
  • always saw her good and beautiful. And for himself, he blushed with
  • remorse and shame, as the remembrance of his own selfishness and
  • indifference contrasted with that perfect purity. For a while, glory,
  • war, everything was forgotten, and the pair of friends talked about her
  • only.
  • "Where are they?" Osborne asked, after a long talk, and a long
  • pause--and, in truth, with no little shame at thinking that he had
  • taken no steps to follow her. "Where are they? There's no address to
  • the note."
  • Dobbin knew. He had not merely sent the piano; but had written a note
  • to Mrs. Sedley, and asked permission to come and see her--and he had
  • seen her, and Amelia too, yesterday, before he came down to Chatham;
  • and, what is more, he had brought that farewell letter and packet which
  • had so moved them.
  • The good-natured fellow had found Mrs. Sedley only too willing to
  • receive him, and greatly agitated by the arrival of the piano, which,
  • as she conjectured, MUST have come from George, and was a signal of
  • amity on his part. Captain Dobbin did not correct this error of the
  • worthy lady, but listened to all her story of complaints and
  • misfortunes with great sympathy--condoled with her losses and
  • privations, and agreed in reprehending the cruel conduct of Mr. Osborne
  • towards his first benefactor. When she had eased her overflowing bosom
  • somewhat, and poured forth many of her sorrows, he had the courage to
  • ask actually to see Amelia, who was above in her room as usual, and
  • whom her mother led trembling downstairs.
  • Her appearance was so ghastly, and her look of despair so pathetic,
  • that honest William Dobbin was frightened as he beheld it; and read the
  • most fatal forebodings in that pale fixed face. After sitting in his
  • company a minute or two, she put the packet into his hand, and said,
  • "Take this to Captain Osborne, if you please, and--and I hope he's
  • quite well--and it was very kind of you to come and see us--and we like
  • our new house very much. And I--I think I'll go upstairs, Mamma, for
  • I'm not very strong." And with this, and a curtsey and a smile, the
  • poor child went her way. The mother, as she led her up, cast back
  • looks of anguish towards Dobbin. The good fellow wanted no such
  • appeal. He loved her himself too fondly for that. Inexpressible
  • grief, and pity, and terror pursued him, and he came away as if he was
  • a criminal after seeing her.
  • When Osborne heard that his friend had found her, he made hot and
  • anxious inquiries regarding the poor child. How was she? How did she
  • look? What did she say? His comrade took his hand, and looked him in
  • the face.
  • "George, she's dying," William Dobbin said--and could speak no more.
  • There was a buxom Irish servant-girl, who performed all the duties of
  • the little house where the Sedley family had found refuge: and this
  • girl had in vain, on many previous days, striven to give Amelia aid or
  • consolation. Emmy was much too sad to answer, or even to be aware of
  • the attempts the other was making in her favour.
  • Four hours after the talk between Dobbin and Osborne, this servant-maid
  • came into Amelia's room, where she sate as usual, brooding
  • silently over her letters--her little treasures. The girl, smiling,
  • and looking arch and happy, made many trials to attract poor Emmy's
  • attention, who, however, took no heed of her.
  • "Miss Emmy," said the girl.
  • "I'm coming," Emmy said, not looking round.
  • "There's a message," the maid went on. "There's
  • something--somebody--sure, here's a new letter for you--don't be reading
  • them old ones any more." And she gave her a letter, which Emmy took, and
  • read.
  • "I must see you," the letter said. "Dearest Emmy--dearest
  • love--dearest wife, come to me."
  • George and her mother were outside, waiting until she had read the
  • letter.
  • CHAPTER XIX
  • Miss Crawley at Nurse
  • We have seen how Mrs. Firkin, the lady's maid, as soon as any event of
  • importance to the Crawley family came to her knowledge, felt bound to
  • communicate it to Mrs. Bute Crawley, at the Rectory; and have before
  • mentioned how particularly kind and attentive that good-natured lady
  • was to Miss Crawley's confidential servant. She had been a gracious
  • friend to Miss Briggs, the companion, also; and had secured the
  • latter's good-will by a number of those attentions and promises, which
  • cost so little in the making, and are yet so valuable and agreeable to
  • the recipient. Indeed every good economist and manager of a household
  • must know how cheap and yet how amiable these professions are, and what
  • a flavour they give to the most homely dish in life. Who was the
  • blundering idiot who said that "fine words butter no parsnips"? Half
  • the parsnips of society are served and rendered palatable with no other
  • sauce. As the immortal Alexis Soyer can make more delicious soup for a
  • half-penny than an ignorant cook can concoct with pounds of vegetables
  • and meat, so a skilful artist will make a few simple and pleasing
  • phrases go farther than ever so much substantial benefit-stock in the
  • hands of a mere bungler. Nay, we know that substantial benefits often
  • sicken some stomachs; whereas, most will digest any amount of fine
  • words, and be always eager for more of the same food. Mrs. Bute had
  • told Briggs and Firkin so often of the depth of her affection for them;
  • and what she would do, if she had Miss Crawley's fortune, for friends
  • so excellent and attached, that the ladies in question had the deepest
  • regard for her; and felt as much gratitude and confidence as if Mrs.
  • Bute had loaded them with the most expensive favours.
  • Rawdon Crawley, on the other hand, like a selfish heavy dragoon as he
  • was, never took the least trouble to conciliate his aunt's aides-de-camp,
  • showed his contempt for the pair with entire frankness--made
  • Firkin pull off his boots on one occasion--sent her out in the rain on
  • ignominious messages--and if he gave her a guinea, flung it to her as
  • if it were a box on the ear. As his aunt, too, made a butt of Briggs,
  • the Captain followed the example, and levelled his jokes at her--jokes
  • about as delicate as a kick from his charger. Whereas, Mrs. Bute
  • consulted her in matters of taste or difficulty, admired her poetry,
  • and by a thousand acts of kindness and politeness, showed her
  • appreciation of Briggs; and if she made Firkin a twopenny-halfpenny
  • present, accompanied it with so many compliments, that the
  • twopence-half-penny was transmuted into gold in the heart of the
  • grateful waiting-maid, who, besides, was looking forwards quite
  • contentedly to some prodigious benefit which must happen to her on the
  • day when Mrs. Bute came into her fortune.
  • The different conduct of these two people is pointed out respectfully
  • to the attention of persons commencing the world. Praise everybody, I
  • say to such: never be squeamish, but speak out your compliment both
  • point-blank in a man's face, and behind his back, when you know there
  • is a reasonable chance of his hearing it again. Never lose a chance of
  • saying a kind word. As Collingwood never saw a vacant place in his
  • estate but he took an acorn out of his pocket and popped it in; so deal
  • with your compliments through life. An acorn costs nothing; but it may
  • sprout into a prodigious bit of timber.
  • In a word, during Rawdon Crawley's prosperity, he was only obeyed with
  • sulky acquiescence; when his disgrace came, there was nobody to help or
  • pity him. Whereas, when Mrs. Bute took the command at Miss Crawley's
  • house, the garrison there were charmed to act under such a leader,
  • expecting all sorts of promotion from her promises, her generosity, and
  • her kind words.
  • That he would consider himself beaten, after one defeat, and make no
  • attempt to regain the position he had lost, Mrs. Bute Crawley never
  • allowed herself to suppose. She knew Rebecca to be too clever and
  • spirited and desperate a woman to submit without a struggle; and felt
  • that she must prepare for that combat, and be incessantly watchful
  • against assault; or mine, or surprise.
  • In the first place, though she held the town, was she sure of the
  • principal inhabitant? Would Miss Crawley herself hold out; and had she
  • not a secret longing to welcome back the ousted adversary? The old
  • lady liked Rawdon, and Rebecca, who amused her. Mrs. Bute could not
  • disguise from herself the fact that none of her party could so
  • contribute to the pleasures of the town-bred lady. "My girls' singing,
  • after that little odious governess's, I know is unbearable," the candid
  • Rector's wife owned to herself. "She always used to go to sleep when
  • Martha and Louisa played their duets. Jim's stiff college manners and
  • poor dear Bute's talk about his dogs and horses always annoyed her. If
  • I took her to the Rectory, she would grow angry with us all, and fly, I
  • know she would; and might fall into that horrid Rawdon's clutches
  • again, and be the victim of that little viper of a Sharp. Meanwhile,
  • it is clear to me that she is exceedingly unwell, and cannot move for
  • some weeks, at any rate; during which we must think of some plan to
  • protect her from the arts of those unprincipled people."
  • In the very best of moments, if anybody told Miss Crawley that she was,
  • or looked ill, the trembling old lady sent off for her doctor; and I
  • daresay she was very unwell after the sudden family event, which might
  • serve to shake stronger nerves than hers. At least, Mrs. Bute thought
  • it was her duty to inform the physician, and the apothecary, and the
  • dame-de-compagnie, and the domestics, that Miss Crawley was in a most
  • critical state, and that they were to act accordingly. She had the
  • street laid knee-deep with straw; and the knocker put by with Mr.
  • Bowls's plate. She insisted that the Doctor should call twice a day;
  • and deluged her patient with draughts every two hours. When anybody
  • entered the room, she uttered a shshshsh so sibilant and ominous, that
  • it frightened the poor old lady in her bed, from which she could not
  • look without seeing Mrs. Bute's beady eyes eagerly fixed on her, as the
  • latter sate steadfast in the arm-chair by the bedside. They seemed to
  • lighten in the dark (for she kept the curtains closed) as she moved
  • about the room on velvet paws like a cat. There Miss Crawley lay for
  • days--ever so many days--Mr. Bute reading books of devotion to her: for
  • nights, long nights, during which she had to hear the watchman sing,
  • the night-light sputter; visited at midnight, the last thing, by the
  • stealthy apothecary; and then left to look at Mrs. Bute's twinkling
  • eyes, or the flicks of yellow that the rushlight threw on the dreary
  • darkened ceiling. Hygeia herself would have fallen sick under such a
  • regimen; and how much more this poor old nervous victim? It has been
  • said that when she was in health and good spirits, this venerable
  • inhabitant of Vanity Fair had as free notions about religion and morals
  • as Monsieur de Voltaire himself could desire, but when illness overtook
  • her, it was aggravated by the most dreadful terrors of death, and an
  • utter cowardice took possession of the prostrate old sinner.
  • Sick-bed homilies and pious reflections are, to be sure, out of place
  • in mere story-books, and we are not going (after the fashion of some
  • novelists of the present day) to cajole the public into a sermon, when
  • it is only a comedy that the reader pays his money to witness. But,
  • without preaching, the truth may surely be borne in mind, that the
  • bustle, and triumph, and laughter, and gaiety which Vanity Fair
  • exhibits in public, do not always pursue the performer into private
  • life, and that the most dreary depression of spirits and dismal
  • repentances sometimes overcome him. Recollection of the best ordained
  • banquets will scarcely cheer sick epicures. Reminiscences of the most
  • becoming dresses and brilliant ball triumphs will go very little way to
  • console faded beauties. Perhaps statesmen, at a particular period of
  • existence, are not much gratified at thinking over the most triumphant
  • divisions; and the success or the pleasure of yesterday becomes of very
  • small account when a certain (albeit uncertain) morrow is in view,
  • about which all of us must some day or other be speculating. O brother
  • wearers of motley! Are there not moments when one grows sick of
  • grinning and tumbling, and the jingling of cap and bells? This, dear
  • friends and companions, is my amiable object--to walk with you through
  • the Fair, to examine the shops and the shows there; and that we should
  • all come home after the flare, and the noise, and the gaiety, and be
  • perfectly miserable in private.
  • "If that poor man of mine had a head on his shoulders," Mrs. Bute
  • Crawley thought to herself, "how useful he might be, under present
  • circumstances, to this unhappy old lady! He might make her repent of
  • her shocking free-thinking ways; he might urge her to do her duty, and
  • cast off that odious reprobate who has disgraced himself and his
  • family; and he might induce her to do justice to my dear girls and the
  • two boys, who require and deserve, I am sure, every assistance which
  • their relatives can give them."
  • And, as the hatred of vice is always a progress towards virtue, Mrs.
  • Bute Crawley endeavoured to instil her sister-in-law a proper
  • abhorrence for all Rawdon Crawley's manifold sins: of which his uncle's
  • wife brought forward such a catalogue as indeed would have served to
  • condemn a whole regiment of young officers. If a man has committed
  • wrong in life, I don't know any moralist more anxious to point his
  • errors out to the world than his own relations; so Mrs. Bute showed a
  • perfect family interest and knowledge of Rawdon's history. She had all
  • the particulars of that ugly quarrel with Captain Marker, in which
  • Rawdon, wrong from the beginning, ended in shooting the Captain. She
  • knew how the unhappy Lord Dovedale, whose mamma had taken a house at
  • Oxford, so that he might be educated there, and who had never touched a
  • card in his life till he came to London, was perverted by Rawdon at the
  • Cocoa-Tree, made helplessly tipsy by this abominable seducer and
  • perverter of youth, and fleeced of four thousand pounds. She described
  • with the most vivid minuteness the agonies of the country families whom
  • he had ruined--the sons whom he had plunged into dishonour and
  • poverty--the daughters whom he had inveigled into perdition. She knew
  • the poor tradesmen who were bankrupt by his extravagance--the mean
  • shifts and rogueries with which he had ministered to it--the astounding
  • falsehoods by which he had imposed upon the most generous of aunts, and
  • the ingratitude and ridicule by which he had repaid her sacrifices.
  • She imparted these stories gradually to Miss Crawley; gave her the
  • whole benefit of them; felt it to be her bounden duty as a Christian
  • woman and mother of a family to do so; had not the smallest remorse or
  • compunction for the victim whom her tongue was immolating; nay, very
  • likely thought her act was quite meritorious, and plumed herself upon
  • her resolute manner of performing it. Yes, if a man's character is to
  • be abused, say what you will, there's nobody like a relation to do the
  • business. And one is bound to own, regarding this unfortunate wretch
  • of a Rawdon Crawley, that the mere truth was enough to condemn him, and
  • that all inventions of scandal were quite superfluous pains on his
  • friends' parts.
  • Rebecca, too, being now a relative, came in for the fullest share of
  • Mrs. Bute's kind inquiries. This indefatigable pursuer of truth
  • (having given strict orders that the door was to be denied to all
  • emissaries or letters from Rawdon), took Miss Crawley's carriage, and
  • drove to her old friend Miss Pinkerton, at Minerva House, Chiswick
  • Mall, to whom she announced the dreadful intelligence of Captain
  • Rawdon's seduction by Miss Sharp, and from whom she got sundry strange
  • particulars regarding the ex-governess's birth and early history. The
  • friend of the Lexicographer had plenty of information to give. Miss
  • Jemima was made to fetch the drawing-master's receipts and letters.
  • This one was from a spunging-house: that entreated an advance: another
  • was full of gratitude for Rebecca's reception by the ladies of
  • Chiswick: and the last document from the unlucky artist's pen was that
  • in which, from his dying bed, he recommended his orphan child to Miss
  • Pinkerton's protection. There were juvenile letters and petitions from
  • Rebecca, too, in the collection, imploring aid for her father or
  • declaring her own gratitude. Perhaps in Vanity Fair there are no
  • better satires than letters. Take a bundle of your dear friend's of
  • ten years back--your dear friend whom you hate now. Look at a file of
  • your sister's! how you clung to each other till you quarrelled about
  • the twenty-pound legacy! Get down the round-hand scrawls of your son
  • who has half broken your heart with selfish undutifulness since; or a
  • parcel of your own, breathing endless ardour and love eternal, which
  • were sent back by your mistress when she married the Nabob--your
  • mistress for whom you now care no more than for Queen Elizabeth. Vows,
  • love, promises, confidences, gratitude, how queerly they read after a
  • while! There ought to be a law in Vanity Fair ordering the destruction
  • of every written document (except receipted tradesmen's bills) after a
  • certain brief and proper interval. Those quacks and misanthropes who
  • advertise indelible Japan ink should be made to perish along with their
  • wicked discoveries. The best ink for Vanity Fair use would be one that
  • faded utterly in a couple of days, and left the paper clean and blank,
  • so that you might write on it to somebody else.
  • From Miss Pinkerton's the indefatigable Mrs. Bute followed the track of
  • Sharp and his daughter back to the lodgings in Greek Street, which the
  • defunct painter had occupied; and where portraits of the landlady in
  • white satin, and of the husband in brass buttons, done by Sharp in lieu
  • of a quarter's rent, still decorated the parlour walls. Mrs. Stokes
  • was a communicative person, and quickly told all she knew about Mr.
  • Sharp; how dissolute and poor he was; how good-natured and amusing;
  • how he was always hunted by bailiffs and duns; how, to the landlady's
  • horror, though she never could abide the woman, he did not marry his
  • wife till a short time before her death; and what a queer little wild
  • vixen his daughter was; how she kept them all laughing with her fun and
  • mimicry; how she used to fetch the gin from the public-house, and was
  • known in all the studios in the quarter--in brief, Mrs. Bute got such a
  • full account of her new niece's parentage, education, and behaviour as
  • would scarcely have pleased Rebecca, had the latter known that such
  • inquiries were being made concerning her.
  • Of all these industrious researches Miss Crawley had the full benefit.
  • Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was the daughter of an opera-girl. She had danced
  • herself. She had been a model to the painters. She was brought up as
  • became her mother's daughter. She drank gin with her father, &c. &c.
  • It was a lost woman who was married to a lost man; and the moral to be
  • inferred from Mrs. Bute's tale was, that the knavery of the pair was
  • irremediable, and that no properly conducted person should ever notice
  • them again.
  • These were the materials which prudent Mrs. Bute gathered together in
  • Park Lane, the provisions and ammunition as it were with which she
  • fortified the house against the siege which she knew that Rawdon and
  • his wife would lay to Miss Crawley.
  • But if a fault may be found with her arrangements, it is this, that she
  • was too eager: she managed rather too well; undoubtedly she made Miss
  • Crawley more ill than was necessary; and though the old invalid
  • succumbed to her authority, it was so harassing and severe, that the
  • victim would be inclined to escape at the very first chance which fell
  • in her way. Managing women, the ornaments of their sex--women who
  • order everything for everybody, and know so much better than any person
  • concerned what is good for their neighbours, don't sometimes speculate
  • upon the possibility of a domestic revolt, or upon other extreme
  • consequences resulting from their overstrained authority.
  • Thus, for instance, Mrs. Bute, with the best intentions no doubt in the
  • world, and wearing herself to death as she did by foregoing sleep,
  • dinner, fresh air, for the sake of her invalid sister-in-law, carried
  • her conviction of the old lady's illness so far that she almost managed
  • her into her coffin. She pointed out her sacrifices and their results
  • one day to the constant apothecary, Mr. Clump.
  • "I am sure, my dear Mr. Clump," she said, "no efforts of mine have been
  • wanting to restore our dear invalid, whom the ingratitude of her nephew
  • has laid on the bed of sickness. I never shrink from personal
  • discomfort: I never refuse to sacrifice myself."
  • "Your devotion, it must be confessed, is admirable," Mr. Clump says,
  • with a low bow; "but--"
  • "I have scarcely closed my eyes since my arrival: I give up sleep,
  • health, every comfort, to my sense of duty. When my poor James was in
  • the smallpox, did I allow any hireling to nurse him? No."
  • "You did what became an excellent mother, my dear Madam--the best of
  • mothers; but--"
  • "As the mother of a family and the wife of an English clergyman, I
  • humbly trust that my principles are good," Mrs. Bute said, with a happy
  • solemnity of conviction; "and, as long as Nature supports me, never,
  • never, Mr. Clump, will I desert the post of duty. Others may bring
  • that grey head with sorrow to the bed of sickness (here Mrs. Bute,
  • waving her hand, pointed to one of old Miss Crawley's coffee-coloured
  • fronts, which was perched on a stand in the dressing-room), but I will
  • never quit it. Ah, Mr. Clump! I fear, I know, that the couch needs
  • spiritual as well as medical consolation."
  • "What I was going to observe, my dear Madam,"--here the resolute Clump
  • once more interposed with a bland air--"what I was going to observe
  • when you gave utterance to sentiments which do you so much honour, was
  • that I think you alarm yourself needlessly about our kind friend, and
  • sacrifice your own health too prodigally in her favour."
  • "I would lay down my life for my duty, or for any member of my
  • husband's family," Mrs. Bute interposed.
  • "Yes, Madam, if need were; but we don't want Mrs Bute Crawley to be a
  • martyr," Clump said gallantly. "Dr Squills and myself have both
  • considered Miss Crawley's case with every anxiety and care, as you may
  • suppose. We see her low-spirited and nervous; family events have
  • agitated her."
  • "Her nephew will come to perdition," Mrs. Crawley cried.
  • "Have agitated her: and you arrived like a guardian angel, my dear
  • Madam, a positive guardian angel, I assure you, to soothe her under the
  • pressure of calamity. But Dr. Squills and I were thinking that our
  • amiable friend is not in such a state as renders confinement to her bed
  • necessary. She is depressed, but this confinement perhaps adds to her
  • depression. She should have change, fresh air, gaiety; the most
  • delightful remedies in the pharmacopoeia," Mr. Clump said, grinning and
  • showing his handsome teeth. "Persuade her to rise, dear Madam; drag
  • her from her couch and her low spirits; insist upon her taking little
  • drives. They will restore the roses too to your cheeks, if I may so
  • speak to Mrs. Bute Crawley."
  • "The sight of her horrid nephew casually in the Park, where I am told
  • the wretch drives with the brazen partner of his crimes," Mrs. Bute
  • said (letting the cat of selfishness out of the bag of secrecy), "would
  • cause her such a shock, that we should have to bring her back to bed
  • again. She must not go out, Mr. Clump. She shall not go out as long
  • as I remain to watch over her; And as for my health, what matters it?
  • I give it cheerfully, sir. I sacrifice it at the altar of my duty."
  • "Upon my word, Madam," Mr. Clump now said bluntly, "I won't answer for
  • her life if she remains locked up in that dark room. She is so nervous
  • that we may lose her any day; and if you wish Captain Crawley to be her
  • heir, I warn you frankly, Madam, that you are doing your very best to
  • serve him."
  • "Gracious mercy! is her life in danger?" Mrs. Bute cried. "Why, why,
  • Mr. Clump, did you not inform me sooner?"
  • The night before, Mr. Clump and Dr. Squills had had a consultation
  • (over a bottle of wine at the house of Sir Lapin Warren, whose lady was
  • about to present him with a thirteenth blessing), regarding Miss
  • Crawley and her case.
  • "What a little harpy that woman from Hampshire is, Clump," Squills
  • remarked, "that has seized upon old Tilly Crawley. Devilish good
  • Madeira."
  • "What a fool Rawdon Crawley has been," Clump replied, "to go and marry
  • a governess! There was something about the girl, too."
  • "Green eyes, fair skin, pretty figure, famous frontal development,"
  • Squills remarked. "There is something about her; and Crawley was a
  • fool, Squills."
  • "A d---- fool--always was," the apothecary replied.
  • "Of course the old girl will fling him over," said the physician, and
  • after a pause added, "She'll cut up well, I suppose."
  • "Cut up," says Clump with a grin; "I wouldn't have her cut up for two
  • hundred a year."
  • "That Hampshire woman will kill her in two months, Clump, my boy, if
  • she stops about her," Dr. Squills said. "Old woman; full feeder;
  • nervous subject; palpitation of the heart; pressure on the brain;
  • apoplexy; off she goes. Get her up, Clump; get her out: or I wouldn't
  • give many weeks' purchase for your two hundred a year." And it was
  • acting upon this hint that the worthy apothecary spoke with so much
  • candour to Mrs. Bute Crawley.
  • Having the old lady under her hand: in bed: with nobody near, Mrs. Bute
  • had made more than one assault upon her, to induce her to alter her
  • will. But Miss Crawley's usual terrors regarding death increased
  • greatly when such dismal propositions were made to her, and Mrs. Bute
  • saw that she must get her patient into cheerful spirits and health
  • before she could hope to attain the pious object which she had in view.
  • Whither to take her was the next puzzle. The only place where she is
  • not likely to meet those odious Rawdons is at church, and that won't
  • amuse her, Mrs. Bute justly felt. "We must go and visit our beautiful
  • suburbs of London," she then thought. "I hear they are the most
  • picturesque in the world"; and so she had a sudden interest for
  • Hampstead, and Hornsey, and found that Dulwich had great charms for
  • her, and getting her victim into her carriage, drove her to those
  • rustic spots, beguiling the little journeys with conversations about
  • Rawdon and his wife, and telling every story to the old lady which
  • could add to her indignation against this pair of reprobates.
  • Perhaps Mrs. Bute pulled the string unnecessarily tight. For though she
  • worked up Miss Crawley to a proper dislike of her disobedient nephew,
  • the invalid had a great hatred and secret terror of her victimizer, and
  • panted to escape from her. After a brief space, she rebelled against
  • Highgate and Hornsey utterly. She would go into the Park. Mrs. Bute
  • knew they would meet the abominable Rawdon there, and she was right.
  • One day in the ring, Rawdon's stanhope came in sight; Rebecca was
  • seated by him. In the enemy's equipage Miss Crawley occupied her usual
  • place, with Mrs. Bute on her left, the poodle and Miss Briggs on the
  • back seat. It was a nervous moment, and Rebecca's heart beat quick as
  • she recognized the carriage; and as the two vehicles crossed each other
  • in a line, she clasped her hands, and looked towards the spinster with
  • a face of agonized attachment and devotion. Rawdon himself trembled,
  • and his face grew purple behind his dyed mustachios. Only old Briggs
  • was moved in the other carriage, and cast her great eyes nervously
  • towards her old friends. Miss Crawley's bonnet was resolutely turned
  • towards the Serpentine. Mrs. Bute happened to be in ecstasies with the
  • poodle, and was calling him a little darling, and a sweet little zoggy,
  • and a pretty pet. The carriages moved on, each in his line.
  • "Done, by Jove," Rawdon said to his wife.
  • "Try once more, Rawdon," Rebecca answered. "Could not you lock your
  • wheels into theirs, dearest?"
  • Rawdon had not the heart for that manoeuvre. When the carriages met
  • again, he stood up in his stanhope; he raised his hand ready to doff
  • his hat; he looked with all his eyes. But this time Miss Crawley's
  • face was not turned away; she and Mrs. Bute looked him full in the
  • face, and cut their nephew pitilessly. He sank back in his seat with
  • an oath, and striking out of the ring, dashed away desperately
  • homewards.
  • It was a gallant and decided triumph for Mrs. Bute. But she felt the
  • danger of many such meetings, as she saw the evident nervousness of
  • Miss Crawley; and she determined that it was most necessary for her
  • dear friend's health, that they should leave town for a while, and
  • recommended Brighton very strongly.
  • CHAPTER XX
  • In Which Captain Dobbin Acts as the Messenger of Hymen
  • Without knowing how, Captain William Dobbin found himself the great
  • promoter, arranger, and manager of the match between George Osborne and
  • Amelia. But for him it never would have taken place: he could not but
  • confess as much to himself, and smiled rather bitterly as he thought
  • that he of all men in the world should be the person upon whom the care
  • of this marriage had fallen. But though indeed the conducting of this
  • negotiation was about as painful a task as could be set to him, yet
  • when he had a duty to perform, Captain Dobbin was accustomed to go
  • through it without many words or much hesitation: and, having made up
  • his mind completely, that if Miss Sedley was balked of her husband she
  • would die of the disappointment, he was determined to use all his best
  • endeavours to keep her alive.
  • I forbear to enter into minute particulars of the interview between
  • George and Amelia, when the former was brought back to the feet (or
  • should we venture to say the arms?) of his young mistress by the
  • intervention of his friend honest William. A much harder heart than
  • George's would have melted at the sight of that sweet face so sadly
  • ravaged by grief and despair, and at the simple tender accents in which
  • she told her little broken-hearted story: but as she did not faint when
  • her mother, trembling, brought Osborne to her; and as she only gave
  • relief to her overcharged grief, by laying her head on her lover's
  • shoulder and there weeping for a while the most tender, copious, and
  • refreshing tears--old Mrs. Sedley, too greatly relieved, thought it was
  • best to leave the young persons to themselves; and so quitted Emmy
  • crying over George's hand, and kissing it humbly, as if he were her
  • supreme chief and master, and as if she were quite a guilty and
  • unworthy person needing every favour and grace from him.
  • This prostration and sweet unrepining obedience exquisitely touched and
  • flattered George Osborne. He saw a slave before him in that simple
  • yielding faithful creature, and his soul within him thrilled secretly
  • somehow at the knowledge of his power. He would be generous-minded,
  • Sultan as he was, and raise up this kneeling Esther and make a queen of
  • her: besides, her sadness and beauty touched him as much as her
  • submission, and so he cheered her, and raised her up and forgave her,
  • so to speak. All her hopes and feelings, which were dying and
  • withering, this her sun having been removed from her, bloomed again and
  • at once, its light being restored. You would scarcely have recognised
  • the beaming little face upon Amelia's pillow that night as the one that
  • was laid there the night before, so wan, so lifeless, so careless of
  • all round about. The honest Irish maid-servant, delighted with the
  • change, asked leave to kiss the face that had grown all of a sudden so
  • rosy. Amelia put her arms round the girl's neck and kissed her with
  • all her heart, like a child. She was little more. She had that night
  • a sweet refreshing sleep, like one--and what a spring of inexpressible
  • happiness as she woke in the morning sunshine!
  • "He will be here again to-day," Amelia thought. "He is the greatest
  • and best of men." And the fact is, that George thought he was one of
  • the generousest creatures alive: and that he was making a tremendous
  • sacrifice in marrying this young creature.
  • While she and Osborne were having their delightful tete-a-tete above
  • stairs, old Mrs. Sedley and Captain Dobbin were conversing below upon
  • the state of the affairs, and the chances and future arrangements of
  • the young people. Mrs. Sedley having brought the two lovers together
  • and left them embracing each other with all their might, like a true
  • woman, was of opinion that no power on earth would induce Mr. Sedley to
  • consent to the match between his daughter and the son of a man who had
  • so shamefully, wickedly, and monstrously treated him. And she told a
  • long story about happier days and their earlier splendours, when
  • Osborne lived in a very humble way in the New Road, and his wife was
  • too glad to receive some of Jos's little baby things, with which Mrs.
  • Sedley accommodated her at the birth of one of Osborne's own children.
  • The fiendish ingratitude of that man, she was sure, had broken Mr. S.'s
  • heart: and as for a marriage, he would never, never, never, never
  • consent.
  • "They must run away together, Ma'am," Dobbin said, laughing, "and
  • follow the example of Captain Rawdon Crawley, and Miss Emmy's friend
  • the little governess." Was it possible? Well she never! Mrs. Sedley
  • was all excitement about this news. She wished that Blenkinsop were
  • here to hear it: Blenkinsop always mistrusted that Miss Sharp.-- What
  • an escape Jos had had! and she described the already well-known
  • love-passages between Rebecca and the Collector of Boggley Wollah.
  • It was not, however, Mr. Sedley's wrath which Dobbin feared, so much as
  • that of the other parent concerned, and he owned that he had a very
  • considerable doubt and anxiety respecting the behaviour of the
  • black-browed old tyrant of a Russia merchant in Russell Square. He has
  • forbidden the match peremptorily, Dobbin thought. He knew what a savage
  • determined man Osborne was, and how he stuck by his word. "The only
  • chance George has of reconcilement," argued his friend, "is by
  • distinguishing himself in the coming campaign. If he dies they both go
  • together. If he fails in distinction--what then? He has some money
  • from his mother, I have heard enough to purchase his majority--or he
  • must sell out and go and dig in Canada, or rough it in a cottage in the
  • country." With such a partner Dobbin thought he would not mind
  • Siberia--and, strange to say, this absurd and utterly imprudent young
  • fellow never for a moment considered that the want of means to keep a
  • nice carriage and horses, and of an income which should enable its
  • possessors to entertain their friends genteelly, ought to operate as
  • bars to the union of George and Miss Sedley.
  • It was these weighty considerations which made him think too that the
  • marriage should take place as quickly as possible. Was he anxious
  • himself, I wonder, to have it over?--as people, when death has
  • occurred, like to press forward the funeral, or when a parting is
  • resolved upon, hasten it. It is certain that Mr. Dobbin, having taken
  • the matter in hand, was most extraordinarily eager in the conduct of
  • it. He urged on George the necessity of immediate action: he showed
  • the chances of reconciliation with his father, which a favourable
  • mention of his name in the Gazette must bring about. If need were he
  • would go himself and brave both the fathers in the business. At all
  • events, he besought George to go through with it before the orders
  • came, which everybody expected, for the departure of the regiment from
  • England on foreign service.
  • Bent upon these hymeneal projects, and with the applause and consent of
  • Mrs. Sedley, who did not care to break the matter personally to her
  • husband, Mr. Dobbin went to seek John Sedley at his house of call in
  • the City, the Tapioca Coffee-house, where, since his own offices were
  • shut up, and fate had overtaken him, the poor broken-down old
  • gentleman used to betake himself daily, and write letters and receive
  • them, and tie them up into mysterious bundles, several of which he
  • carried in the flaps of his coat. I don't know anything more dismal
  • than that business and bustle and mystery of a ruined man: those
  • letters from the wealthy which he shows you: those worn greasy
  • documents promising support and offering condolence which he places
  • wistfully before you, and on which he builds his hopes of restoration
  • and future fortune. My beloved reader has no doubt in the course of his
  • experience been waylaid by many such a luckless companion. He takes
  • you into the corner; he has his bundle of papers out of his gaping coat
  • pocket; and the tape off, and the string in his mouth, and the
  • favourite letters selected and laid before you; and who does not know
  • the sad eager half-crazy look which he fixes on you with his hopeless
  • eyes?
  • Changed into a man of this sort, Dobbin found the once florid, jovial,
  • and prosperous John Sedley. His coat, that used to be so glossy and
  • trim, was white at the seams, and the buttons showed the copper. His
  • face had fallen in, and was unshorn; his frill and neckcloth hung limp
  • under his bagging waistcoat. When he used to treat the boys in old
  • days at a coffee-house, he would shout and laugh louder than anybody
  • there, and have all the waiters skipping round him; it was quite
  • painful to see how humble and civil he was to John of the Tapioca, a
  • blear-eyed old attendant in dingy stockings and cracked pumps, whose
  • business it was to serve glasses of wafers, and bumpers of ink in
  • pewter, and slices of paper to the frequenters of this dreary house of
  • entertainment, where nothing else seemed to be consumed. As for
  • William Dobbin, whom he had tipped repeatedly in his youth, and who had
  • been the old gentleman's butt on a thousand occasions, old Sedley gave
  • his hand to him in a very hesitating humble manner now, and called him
  • "Sir." A feeling of shame and remorse took possession of William Dobbin
  • as the broken old man so received and addressed him, as if he himself
  • had been somehow guilty of the misfortunes which had brought Sedley so
  • low.
  • "I am very glad to see you, Captain Dobbin, sir," says he, after a
  • skulking look or two at his visitor (whose lanky figure and military
  • appearance caused some excitement likewise to twinkle in the blear eyes
  • of the waiter in the cracked dancing pumps, and awakened the old lady
  • in black, who dozed among the mouldy old coffee-cups in the bar). "How
  • is the worthy alderman, and my lady, your excellent mother, sir?" He
  • looked round at the waiter as he said, "My lady," as much as to say,
  • "Hark ye, John, I have friends still, and persons of rank and
  • reputation, too." "Are you come to do anything in my way, sir? My
  • young friends Dale and Spiggot do all my business for me now, until my
  • new offices are ready; for I'm only here temporarily, you know,
  • Captain. What can we do for you, sir? Will you like to take anything?"
  • Dobbin, with a great deal of hesitation and stuttering, protested that
  • he was not in the least hungry or thirsty; that he had no business to
  • transact; that he only came to ask if Mr. Sedley was well, and to shake
  • hands with an old friend; and, he added, with a desperate perversion of
  • truth, "My mother is very well--that is, she's been very unwell, and is
  • only waiting for the first fine day to go out and call upon Mrs.
  • Sedley. How is Mrs. Sedley, sir? I hope she's quite well." And here
  • he paused, reflecting on his own consummate hypocrisy; for the day was
  • as fine, and the sunshine as bright as it ever is in Coffin Court,
  • where the Tapioca Coffee-house is situated: and Mr. Dobbin remembered
  • that he had seen Mrs. Sedley himself only an hour before, having driven
  • Osborne down to Fulham in his gig, and left him there tete-a-tete with
  • Miss Amelia.
  • "My wife will be very happy to see her ladyship," Sedley replied,
  • pulling out his papers. "I've a very kind letter here from your
  • father, sir, and beg my respectful compliments to him. Lady D. will
  • find us in rather a smaller house than we were accustomed to receive
  • our friends in; but it's snug, and the change of air does good to my
  • daughter, who was suffering in town rather--you remember little Emmy,
  • sir?--yes, suffering a good deal." The old gentleman's eyes were
  • wandering as he spoke, and he was thinking of something else, as he
  • sate thrumming on his papers and fumbling at the worn red tape.
  • "You're a military man," he went on; "I ask you, Bill Dobbin, could any
  • man ever have speculated upon the return of that Corsican scoundrel
  • from Elba? When the allied sovereigns were here last year, and we gave
  • 'em that dinner in the City, sir, and we saw the Temple of Concord, and
  • the fireworks, and the Chinese bridge in St. James's Park, could any
  • sensible man suppose that peace wasn't really concluded, after we'd
  • actually sung Te Deum for it, sir? I ask you, William, could I suppose
  • that the Emperor of Austria was a damned traitor--a traitor, and
  • nothing more? I don't mince words--a double-faced infernal traitor and
  • schemer, who meant to have his son-in-law back all along. And I say
  • that the escape of Boney from Elba was a damned imposition and plot,
  • sir, in which half the powers of Europe were concerned, to bring the
  • funds down, and to ruin this country. That's why I'm here, William.
  • That's why my name's in the Gazette. Why, sir?--because I trusted the
  • Emperor of Russia and the Prince Regent. Look here. Look at my
  • papers. Look what the funds were on the 1st of March--what the French
  • fives were when I bought for the count. And what they're at now.
  • There was collusion, sir, or that villain never would have escaped.
  • Where was the English Commissioner who allowed him to get away? He
  • ought to be shot, sir--brought to a court-martial, and shot, by Jove."
  • "We're going to hunt Boney out, sir," Dobbin said, rather alarmed at
  • the fury of the old man, the veins of whose forehead began to swell,
  • and who sate drumming his papers with his clenched fist. "We are going
  • to hunt him out, sir--the Duke's in Belgium already, and we expect
  • marching orders every day."
  • "Give him no quarter. Bring back the villain's head, sir. Shoot the
  • coward down, sir," Sedley roared. "I'd enlist myself, by--; but I'm a
  • broken old man--ruined by that damned scoundrel--and by a parcel of
  • swindling thieves in this country whom I made, sir, and who are rolling
  • in their carriages now," he added, with a break in his voice.
  • Dobbin was not a little affected by the sight of this once kind old
  • friend, crazed almost with misfortune and raving with senile anger.
  • Pity the fallen gentleman: you to whom money and fair repute are the
  • chiefest good; and so, surely, are they in Vanity Fair.
  • "Yes," he continued, "there are some vipers that you warm, and they
  • sting you afterwards. There are some beggars that you put on
  • horseback, and they're the first to ride you down. You know whom I
  • mean, William Dobbin, my boy. I mean a purse-proud villain in Russell
  • Square, whom I knew without a shilling, and whom I pray and hope to see
  • a beggar as he was when I befriended him."
  • "I have heard something of this, sir, from my friend George," Dobbin
  • said, anxious to come to his point. "The quarrel between you and his
  • father has cut him up a great deal, sir. Indeed, I'm the bearer of a
  • message from him."
  • "O, THAT'S your errand, is it?" cried the old man, jumping up. "What!
  • perhaps he condoles with me, does he? Very kind of him, the
  • stiff-backed prig, with his dandified airs and West End swagger. He's
  • hankering about my house, is he still? If my son had the courage of a
  • man, he'd shoot him. He's as big a villain as his father. I won't
  • have his name mentioned in my house. I curse the day that ever I let
  • him into it; and I'd rather see my daughter dead at my feet than
  • married to him."
  • "His father's harshness is not George's fault, sir. Your daughter's
  • love for him is as much your doing as his. Who are you, that you are
  • to play with two young people's affections and break their hearts at
  • your will?"
  • "Recollect it's not his father that breaks the match off," old Sedley
  • cried out. "It's I that forbid it. That family and mine are separated
  • for ever. I'm fallen low, but not so low as that: no, no. And so you
  • may tell the whole race--son, and father and sisters, and all."
  • "It's my belief, sir, that you have not the power or the right to
  • separate those two," Dobbin answered in a low voice; "and that if you
  • don't give your daughter your consent it will be her duty to marry
  • without it. There's no reason she should die or live miserably because
  • you are wrong-headed. To my thinking, she's just as much married as if
  • the banns had been read in all the churches in London. And what better
  • answer can there be to Osborne's charges against you, as charges there
  • are, than that his son claims to enter your family and marry your
  • daughter?"
  • A light of something like satisfaction seemed to break over old Sedley
  • as this point was put to him: but he still persisted that with his
  • consent the marriage between Amelia and George should never take place.
  • "We must do it without," Dobbin said, smiling, and told Mr. Sedley, as
  • he had told Mrs. Sedley in the day, before, the story of Rebecca's
  • elopement with Captain Crawley. It evidently amused the old gentleman.
  • "You're terrible fellows, you Captains," said he, tying up his papers;
  • and his face wore something like a smile upon it, to the astonishment
  • of the blear-eyed waiter who now entered, and had never seen such an
  • expression upon Sedley's countenance since he had used the dismal
  • coffee-house.
  • The idea of hitting his enemy Osborne such a blow soothed, perhaps, the
  • old gentleman: and, their colloquy presently ending, he and Dobbin
  • parted pretty good friends.
  • "My sisters say she has diamonds as big as pigeons' eggs," George said,
  • laughing. "How they must set off her complexion! A perfect
  • illumination it must be when her jewels are on her neck. Her
  • jet-black hair is as curly as Sambo's. I dare say she wore a nose ring
  • when she went to court; and with a plume of feathers in her top-knot
  • she would look a perfect Belle Sauvage."
  • George, in conversation with Amelia, was rallying the appearance of a
  • young lady of whom his father and sisters had lately made the
  • acquaintance, and who was an object of vast respect to the Russell
  • Square family. She was reported to have I don't know how many
  • plantations in the West Indies; a deal of money in the funds; and three
  • stars to her name in the East India stockholders' list. She had a
  • mansion in Surrey, and a house in Portland Place. The name of the rich
  • West India heiress had been mentioned with applause in the Morning
  • Post. Mrs. Haggistoun, Colonel Haggistoun's widow, her relative,
  • "chaperoned" her, and kept her house. She was just from school, where
  • she had completed her education, and George and his sisters had met her
  • at an evening party at old Hulker's house, Devonshire Place (Hulker,
  • Bullock, and Co. were long the correspondents of her house in the West
  • Indies), and the girls had made the most cordial advances to her, which
  • the heiress had received with great good humour. An orphan in her
  • position--with her money--so interesting! the Misses Osborne said.
  • They were full of their new friend when they returned from the Hulker
  • ball to Miss Wirt, their companion; they had made arrangements for
  • continually meeting, and had the carriage and drove to see her the very
  • next day. Mrs. Haggistoun, Colonel Haggistoun's widow, a relation of
  • Lord Binkie, and always talking of him, struck the dear unsophisticated
  • girls as rather haughty, and too much inclined to talk about her great
  • relations: but Rhoda was everything they could wish--the frankest,
  • kindest, most agreeable creature--wanting a little polish, but so
  • good-natured. The girls Christian-named each other at once.
  • "You should have seen her dress for court, Emmy," Osborne cried,
  • laughing. "She came to my sisters to show it off, before she was
  • presented in state by my Lady Binkie, the Haggistoun's kinswoman. She's
  • related to every one, that Haggistoun. Her diamonds blazed out like
  • Vauxhall on the night we were there. (Do you remember Vauxhall, Emmy,
  • and Jos singing to his dearest diddle diddle darling?) Diamonds and
  • mahogany, my dear! think what an advantageous contrast--and the white
  • feathers in her hair--I mean in her wool. She had earrings like
  • chandeliers; you might have lighted 'em up, by Jove--and a yellow satin
  • train that streeled after her like the tail of a comet."
  • "How old is she?" asked Emmy, to whom George was rattling away
  • regarding this dark paragon, on the morning of their reunion--rattling
  • away as no other man in the world surely could.
  • "Why the Black Princess, though she has only just left school, must be
  • two or three and twenty. And you should see the hand she writes! Mrs.
  • Colonel Haggistoun usually writes her letters, but in a moment of
  • confidence, she put pen to paper for my sisters; she spelt satin
  • satting, and Saint James's, Saint Jams."
  • "Why, surely it must be Miss Swartz, the parlour boarder," Emmy said,
  • remembering that good-natured young mulatto girl, who had been so
  • hysterically affected when Amelia left Miss Pinkerton's academy.
  • "The very name," George said. "Her father was a German Jew--a
  • slave-owner they say--connected with the Cannibal Islands in some way
  • or other. He died last year, and Miss Pinkerton has finished her
  • education. She can play two pieces on the piano; she knows three
  • songs; she can write when Mrs. Haggistoun is by to spell for her; and
  • Jane and Maria already have got to love her as a sister."
  • "I wish they would have loved me," said Emmy, wistfully. "They were
  • always very cold to me."
  • "My dear child, they would have loved you if you had had two hundred
  • thousand pounds," George replied. "That is the way in which they have
  • been brought up. Ours is a ready-money society. We live among bankers
  • and City big-wigs, and be hanged to them, and every man, as he talks to
  • you, is jingling his guineas in his pocket. There is that jackass Fred
  • Bullock is going to marry Maria--there's Goldmore, the East India
  • Director, there's Dipley, in the tallow trade--OUR trade," George said,
  • with an uneasy laugh and a blush. "Curse the whole pack of
  • money-grubbing vulgarians! I fall asleep at their great heavy dinners.
  • I feel ashamed in my father's great stupid parties. I've been
  • accustomed to live with gentlemen, and men of the world and fashion,
  • Emmy, not with a parcel of turtle-fed tradesmen. Dear little woman,
  • you are the only person of our set who ever looked, or thought, or
  • spoke like a lady: and you do it because you're an angel and can't help
  • it. Don't remonstrate. You are the only lady. Didn't Miss Crawley
  • remark it, who has lived in the best company in Europe? And as for
  • Crawley, of the Life Guards, hang it, he's a fine fellow: and I like
  • him for marrying the girl he had chosen."
  • Amelia admired Mr. Crawley very much, too, for this; and trusted
  • Rebecca would be happy with him, and hoped (with a laugh) Jos would be
  • consoled. And so the pair went on prattling, as in quite early days.
  • Amelia's confidence being perfectly restored to her, though she
  • expressed a great deal of pretty jealousy about Miss Swartz, and
  • professed to be dreadfully frightened--like a hypocrite as she was--lest
  • George should forget her for the heiress and her money and her
  • estates in Saint Kitt's. But the fact is, she was a great deal too
  • happy to have fears or doubts or misgivings of any sort: and having
  • George at her side again, was not afraid of any heiress or beauty, or
  • indeed of any sort of danger.
  • When Captain Dobbin came back in the afternoon to these people--which
  • he did with a great deal of sympathy for them--it did his heart good to
  • see how Amelia had grown young again--how she laughed, and chirped, and
  • sang familiar old songs at the piano, which were only interrupted by
  • the bell from without proclaiming Mr. Sedley's return from the City,
  • before whom George received a signal to retreat.
  • Beyond the first smile of recognition--and even that was an hypocrisy,
  • for she thought his arrival rather provoking--Miss Sedley did not once
  • notice Dobbin during his visit. But he was content, so that he saw her
  • happy; and thankful to have been the means of making her so.
  • CHAPTER XXI
  • A Quarrel About an Heiress
  • Love may be felt for any young lady endowed with such qualities as Miss
  • Swartz possessed; and a great dream of ambition entered into old Mr.
  • Osborne's soul, which she was to realize. He encouraged, with the
  • utmost enthusiasm and friendliness, his daughters' amiable attachment
  • to the young heiress, and protested that it gave him the sincerest
  • pleasure as a father to see the love of his girls so well disposed.
  • "You won't find," he would say to Miss Rhoda, "that splendour and rank
  • to which you are accustomed at the West End, my dear Miss, at our
  • humble mansion in Russell Square. My daughters are plain,
  • disinterested girls, but their hearts are in the right place, and
  • they've conceived an attachment for you which does them honour--I say,
  • which does them honour. I'm a plain, simple, humble British
  • merchant--an honest one, as my respected friends Hulker and Bullock
  • will vouch, who were the correspondents of your late lamented father.
  • You'll find us a united, simple, happy, and I think I may say
  • respected, family--a plain table, a plain people, but a warm welcome,
  • my dear Miss Rhoda--Rhoda, let me say, for my heart warms to you, it
  • does really. I'm a frank man, and I like you. A glass of Champagne!
  • Hicks, Champagne to Miss Swartz."
  • There is little doubt that old Osborne believed all he said, and that
  • the girls were quite earnest in their protestations of affection for
  • Miss Swartz. People in Vanity Fair fasten on to rich folks quite
  • naturally. If the simplest people are disposed to look not a little
  • kindly on great Prosperity (for I defy any member of the British public
  • to say that the notion of Wealth has not something awful and pleasing
  • to him; and you, if you are told that the man next you at dinner has
  • got half a million, not to look at him with a certain interest)--if the
  • simple look benevolently on money, how much more do your old worldlings
  • regard it! Their affections rush out to meet and welcome money. Their
  • kind sentiments awaken spontaneously towards the interesting possessors
  • of it. I know some respectable people who don't consider themselves at
  • liberty to indulge in friendship for any individual who has not a
  • certain competency, or place in society. They give a loose to their
  • feelings on proper occasions. And the proof is, that the major part of
  • the Osborne family, who had not, in fifteen years, been able to get up
  • a hearty regard for Amelia Sedley, became as fond of Miss Swartz in the
  • course of a single evening as the most romantic advocate of friendship
  • at first sight could desire.
  • What a match for George she'd be (the sisters and Miss Wirt agreed),
  • and how much better than that insignificant little Amelia! Such a
  • dashing young fellow as he is, with his good looks, rank, and
  • accomplishments, would be the very husband for her. Visions of balls
  • in Portland Place, presentations at Court, and introductions to half
  • the peerage, filled the minds of the young ladies; who talked of
  • nothing but George and his grand acquaintances to their beloved new
  • friend.
  • Old Osborne thought she would be a great match, too, for his son. He
  • should leave the army; he should go into Parliament; he should cut a
  • figure in the fashion and in the state. His blood boiled with honest
  • British exultation, as he saw the name of Osborne ennobled in the
  • person of his son, and thought that he might be the progenitor of a
  • glorious line of baronets. He worked in the City and on 'Change, until
  • he knew everything relating to the fortune of the heiress, how her
  • money was placed, and where her estates lay. Young Fred Bullock, one
  • of his chief informants, would have liked to make a bid for her himself
  • (it was so the young banker expressed it), only he was booked to Maria
  • Osborne. But not being able to secure her as a wife, the disinterested
  • Fred quite approved of her as a sister-in-law. "Let George cut in
  • directly and win her," was his advice. "Strike while the iron's hot,
  • you know--while she's fresh to the town: in a few weeks some d----
  • fellow from the West End will come in with a title and a rotten
  • rent-roll and cut all us City men out, as Lord Fitzrufus did last year
  • with Miss Grogram, who was actually engaged to Podder, of Podder &
  • Brown's. The sooner it is done the better, Mr. Osborne; them's my
  • sentiments," the wag said; though, when Osborne had left the bank
  • parlour, Mr. Bullock remembered Amelia, and what a pretty girl she was,
  • and how attached to George Osborne; and he gave up at least ten seconds
  • of his valuable time to regretting the misfortune which had befallen
  • that unlucky young woman.
  • While thus George Osborne's good feelings, and his good friend and
  • genius, Dobbin, were carrying back the truant to Amelia's feet,
  • George's parent and sisters were arranging this splendid match for him,
  • which they never dreamed he would resist.
  • When the elder Osborne gave what he called "a hint," there was no
  • possibility for the most obtuse to mistake his meaning. He called
  • kicking a footman downstairs a hint to the latter to leave his service.
  • With his usual frankness and delicacy he told Mrs. Haggistoun that he
  • would give her a cheque for five thousand pounds on the day his son was
  • married to her ward; and called that proposal a hint, and considered it
  • a very dexterous piece of diplomacy. He gave George finally such
  • another hint regarding the heiress; and ordered him to marry her out of
  • hand, as he would have ordered his butler to draw a cork, or his clerk
  • to write a letter.
  • This imperative hint disturbed George a good deal. He was in the very
  • first enthusiasm and delight of his second courtship of Amelia, which
  • was inexpressibly sweet to him. The contrast of her manners and
  • appearance with those of the heiress, made the idea of a union with the
  • latter appear doubly ludicrous and odious. Carriages and opera-boxes,
  • thought he; fancy being seen in them by the side of such a mahogany
  • charmer as that! Add to all that the junior Osborne was quite as
  • obstinate as the senior: when he wanted a thing, quite as firm in his
  • resolution to get it; and quite as violent when angered, as his father
  • in his most stern moments.
  • On the first day when his father formally gave him the hint that he was
  • to place his affections at Miss Swartz's feet, George temporised with
  • the old gentleman. "You should have thought of the matter sooner,
  • sir," he said. "It can't be done now, when we're expecting every day to
  • go on foreign service. Wait till my return, if I do return"; and then
  • he represented, that the time when the regiment was daily expecting to
  • quit England, was exceedingly ill-chosen: that the few days or weeks
  • during which they were still to remain at home, must be devoted to
  • business and not to love-making: time enough for that when he came home
  • with his majority; "for, I promise you," said he, with a satisfied air,
  • "that one way or other you shall read the name of George Osborne in the
  • Gazette."
  • The father's reply to this was founded upon the information which he
  • had got in the City: that the West End chaps would infallibly catch
  • hold of the heiress if any delay took place: that if he didn't marry
  • Miss S., he might at least have an engagement in writing, to come into
  • effect when he returned to England; and that a man who could get ten
  • thousand a year by staying at home, was a fool to risk his life abroad.
  • "So that you would have me shown up as a coward, sir, and our name
  • dishonoured for the sake of Miss Swartz's money," George interposed.
  • This remark staggered the old gentleman; but as he had to reply to it,
  • and as his mind was nevertheless made up, he said, "You will dine here
  • to-morrow, sir, and every day Miss Swartz comes, you will be here to
  • pay your respects to her. If you want for money, call upon Mr.
  • Chopper." Thus a new obstacle was in George's way, to interfere with
  • his plans regarding Amelia; and about which he and Dobbin had more than
  • one confidential consultation. His friend's opinion respecting the
  • line of conduct which he ought to pursue, we know already. And as for
  • Osborne, when he was once bent on a thing, a fresh obstacle or two only
  • rendered him the more resolute.
  • The dark object of the conspiracy into which the chiefs of the Osborne
  • family had entered, was quite ignorant of all their plans regarding her
  • (which, strange to say, her friend and chaperon did not divulge), and,
  • taking all the young ladies' flattery for genuine sentiment, and being,
  • as we have before had occasion to show, of a very warm and impetuous
  • nature, responded to their affection with quite a tropical ardour. And
  • if the truth may be told, I dare say that she too had some selfish
  • attraction in the Russell Square house; and in a word, thought George
  • Osborne a very nice young man. His whiskers had made an impression upon
  • her, on the very first night she beheld them at the ball at Messrs.
  • Hulkers; and, as we know, she was not the first woman who had been
  • charmed by them. George had an air at once swaggering and melancholy,
  • languid and fierce. He looked like a man who had passions, secrets,
  • and private harrowing griefs and adventures. His voice was rich and
  • deep. He would say it was a warm evening, or ask his partner to take
  • an ice, with a tone as sad and confidential as if he were breaking her
  • mother's death to her, or preluding a declaration of love. He trampled
  • over all the young bucks of his father's circle, and was the hero among
  • those third-rate men. Some few sneered at him and hated him. Some,
  • like Dobbin, fanatically admired him. And his whiskers had begun to do
  • their work, and to curl themselves round the affections of Miss Swartz.
  • Whenever there was a chance of meeting him in Russell Square, that
  • simple and good-natured young woman was quite in a flurry to see her
  • dear Misses Osborne. She went to great expenses in new gowns, and
  • bracelets, and bonnets, and in prodigious feathers. She adorned her
  • person with her utmost skill to please the Conqueror, and exhibited all
  • her simple accomplishments to win his favour. The girls would ask her,
  • with the greatest gravity, for a little music, and she would sing her
  • three songs and play her two little pieces as often as ever they asked,
  • and with an always increasing pleasure to herself. During these
  • delectable entertainments, Miss Wirt and the chaperon sate by, and
  • conned over the peerage, and talked about the nobility.
  • The day after George had his hint from his father, and a short time
  • before the hour of dinner, he was lolling upon a sofa in the
  • drawing-room in a very becoming and perfectly natural attitude of
  • melancholy. He had been, at his father's request, to Mr. Chopper in
  • the City (the old gentleman, though he gave great sums to his son,
  • would never specify any fixed allowance for him, and rewarded him only
  • as he was in the humour). He had then been to pass three hours with
  • Amelia, his dear little Amelia, at Fulham; and he came home to find his
  • sisters spread in starched muslin in the drawing-room, the dowagers
  • cackling in the background, and honest Swartz in her favourite
  • amber-coloured satin, with turquoise bracelets, countless rings,
  • flowers, feathers, and all sorts of tags and gimcracks, about as
  • elegantly decorated as a she chimney-sweep on May-day.
  • The girls, after vain attempts to engage him in conversation, talked
  • about fashions and the last drawing-room until he was perfectly sick of
  • their chatter. He contrasted their behaviour with little Emmy's--their
  • shrill voices with her tender ringing tones; their attitudes and their
  • elbows and their starch, with her humble soft movements and modest
  • graces. Poor Swartz was seated in a place where Emmy had been
  • accustomed to sit. Her bejewelled hands lay sprawling in her amber
  • satin lap. Her tags and ear-rings twinkled, and her big eyes rolled
  • about. She was doing nothing with perfect contentment, and thinking
  • herself charming. Anything so becoming as the satin the sisters had
  • never seen.
  • "Dammy," George said to a confidential friend, "she looked like a China
  • doll, which has nothing to do all day but to grin and wag its head. By
  • Jove, Will, it was all I I could do to prevent myself from throwing the
  • sofa-cushion at her." He restrained that exhibition of sentiment,
  • however.
  • The sisters began to play the Battle of Prague. "Stop that d----
  • thing," George howled out in a fury from the sofa. "It makes me mad.
  • You play us something, Miss Swartz, do. Sing something, anything but
  • the Battle of Prague."
  • "Shall I sing 'Blue Eyed Mary' or the air from the Cabinet?" Miss
  • Swartz asked.
  • "That sweet thing from the Cabinet," the sisters said.
  • "We've had that," replied the misanthrope on the sofa.
  • "I can sing 'Fluvy du Tajy,'" Swartz said, in a meek voice, "if I had
  • the words." It was the last of the worthy young woman's collection.
  • "O, 'Fleuve du Tage,'" Miss Maria cried; "we have the song," and went
  • off to fetch the book in which it was.
  • Now it happened that this song, then in the height of the fashion, had
  • been given to the young ladies by a young friend of theirs, whose name
  • was on the title, and Miss Swartz, having concluded the ditty with
  • George's applause (for he remembered that it was a favourite of
  • Amelia's), was hoping for an encore perhaps, and fiddling with the
  • leaves of the music, when her eye fell upon the title, and she saw
  • "Amelia Sedley" written in the comer.
  • "Lor!" cried Miss Swartz, spinning swiftly round on the music-stool,
  • "is it my Amelia? Amelia that was at Miss P.'s at Hammersmith? I know
  • it is. It's her, and-- Tell me about her--where is she?"
  • "Don't mention her," Miss Maria Osborne said hastily. "Her family has
  • disgraced itself. Her father cheated Papa, and as for her, she is
  • never to be mentioned HERE." This was Miss Maria's return for George's
  • rudeness about the Battle of Prague.
  • "Are you a friend of Amelia's?" George said, bouncing up. "God bless
  • you for it, Miss Swartz. Don't believe what the girls say. SHE'S not
  • to blame at any rate. She's the best--"
  • "You know you're not to speak about her, George," cried Jane. "Papa
  • forbids it."
  • "Who's to prevent me?" George cried out. "I will speak of her. I say
  • she's the best, the kindest, the gentlest, the sweetest girl in
  • England; and that, bankrupt or no, my sisters are not fit to hold
  • candles to her. If you like her, go and see her, Miss Swartz; she
  • wants friends now; and I say, God bless everybody who befriends her.
  • Anybody who speaks kindly of her is my friend; anybody who speaks
  • against her is my enemy. Thank you, Miss Swartz"; and he went up and
  • wrung her hand.
  • "George! George!" one of the sisters cried imploringly.
  • "I say," George said fiercely, "I thank everybody who loves Amelia
  • Sed--" He stopped. Old Osborne was in the room with a face livid with
  • rage, and eyes like hot coals.
  • Though George had stopped in his sentence, yet, his blood being up, he
  • was not to be cowed by all the generations of Osborne; rallying
  • instantly, he replied to the bullying look of his father, with another
  • so indicative of resolution and defiance that the elder man quailed in
  • his turn, and looked away. He felt that the tussle was coming. "Mrs.
  • Haggistoun, let me take you down to dinner," he said. "Give your arm to
  • Miss Swartz, George," and they marched.
  • "Miss Swartz, I love Amelia, and we've been engaged almost all our
  • lives," Osborne said to his partner; and during all the dinner, George
  • rattled on with a volubility which surprised himself, and made his
  • father doubly nervous for the fight which was to take place as soon as
  • the ladies were gone.
  • The difference between the pair was, that while the father was violent
  • and a bully, the son had thrice the nerve and courage of the parent,
  • and could not merely make an attack, but resist it; and finding that
  • the moment was now come when the contest between him and his father was
  • to be decided, he took his dinner with perfect coolness and appetite
  • before the engagement began. Old Osborne, on the contrary, was
  • nervous, and drank much. He floundered in his conversation with the
  • ladies, his neighbours: George's coolness only rendering him more
  • angry. It made him half mad to see the calm way in which George,
  • flapping his napkin, and with a swaggering bow, opened the door for the
  • ladies to leave the room; and filling himself a glass of wine, smacked
  • it, and looked his father full in the face, as if to say, "Gentlemen of
  • the Guard, fire first." The old man also took a supply of ammunition,
  • but his decanter clinked against the glass as he tried to fill it.
  • After giving a great heave, and with a purple choking face, he then
  • began. "How dare you, sir, mention that person's name before Miss
  • Swartz to-day, in my drawing-room? I ask you, sir, how dare you do it?"
  • "Stop, sir," says George, "don't say dare, sir. Dare isn't a word to
  • be used to a Captain in the British Army."
  • "I shall say what I like to my son, sir. I can cut him off with a
  • shilling if I like. I can make him a beggar if I like. I WILL say what
  • I like," the elder said.
  • "I'm a gentleman though I AM your son, sir," George answered haughtily.
  • "Any communications which you have to make to me, or any orders which
  • you may please to give, I beg may be couched in that kind of language
  • which I am accustomed to hear."
  • Whenever the lad assumed his haughty manner, it always created either
  • great awe or great irritation in the parent. Old Osborne stood in
  • secret terror of his son as a better gentleman than himself; and
  • perhaps my readers may have remarked in their experience of this Vanity
  • Fair of ours, that there is no character which a low-minded man so much
  • mistrusts as that of a gentleman.
  • "My father didn't give me the education you have had, nor the
  • advantages you have had, nor the money you have had. If I had kept the
  • company SOME FOLKS have had through MY MEANS, perhaps my son wouldn't
  • have any reason to brag, sir, of his SUPERIORITY and WEST END AIRS
  • (these words were uttered in the elder Osborne's most sarcastic tones).
  • But it wasn't considered the part of a gentleman, in MY time, for a man
  • to insult his father. If I'd done any such thing, mine would have
  • kicked me downstairs, sir."
  • "I never insulted you, sir. I said I begged you to remember your son
  • was a gentleman as well as yourself. I know very well that you give me
  • plenty of money," said George (fingering a bundle of notes which he had
  • got in the morning from Mr. Chopper). "You tell it me often enough,
  • sir. There's no fear of my forgetting it."
  • "I wish you'd remember other things as well, sir," the sire answered.
  • "I wish you'd remember that in this house--so long as you choose to
  • HONOUR it with your COMPANY, Captain--I'm the master, and that name,
  • and that that--that you--that I say--"
  • "That what, sir?" George asked, with scarcely a sneer, filling another
  • glass of claret.
  • "----!" burst out his father with a screaming oath--"that the name of
  • those Sedleys never be mentioned here, sir--not one of the whole damned
  • lot of 'em, sir."
  • "It wasn't I, sir, that introduced Miss Sedley's name. It was my
  • sisters who spoke ill of her to Miss Swartz; and by Jove I'll defend
  • her wherever I go. Nobody shall speak lightly of that name in my
  • presence. Our family has done her quite enough injury already, I
  • think, and may leave off reviling her now she's down. I'll shoot any
  • man but you who says a word against her."
  • "Go on, sir, go on," the old gentleman said, his eyes starting out of
  • his head.
  • "Go on about what, sir? about the way in which we've treated that angel
  • of a girl? Who told me to love her? It was your doing. I might have
  • chosen elsewhere, and looked higher, perhaps, than your society: but I
  • obeyed you. And now that her heart's mine you give me orders to fling
  • it away, and punish her, kill her perhaps--for the faults of other
  • people. It's a shame, by Heavens," said George, working himself up
  • into passion and enthusiasm as he proceeded, "to play at fast and loose
  • with a young girl's affections--and with such an angel as that--one so
  • superior to the people amongst whom she lived, that she might have
  • excited envy, only she was so good and gentle, that it's a wonder
  • anybody dared to hate her. If I desert her, sir, do you suppose she
  • forgets me?"
  • "I ain't going to have any of this dam sentimental nonsense and humbug
  • here, sir," the father cried out. "There shall be no beggar-marriages
  • in my family. If you choose to fling away eight thousand a year, which
  • you may have for the asking, you may do it: but by Jove you take your
  • pack and walk out of this house, sir. Will you do as I tell you, once
  • for all, sir, or will you not?"
  • "Marry that mulatto woman?" George said, pulling up his shirt-collars.
  • "I don't like the colour, sir. Ask the black that sweeps opposite
  • Fleet Market, sir. I'm not going to marry a Hottentot Venus."
  • Mr. Osborne pulled frantically at the cord by which he was accustomed
  • to summon the butler when he wanted wine--and almost black in the face,
  • ordered that functionary to call a coach for Captain Osborne.
  • "I've done it," said George, coming into the Slaughters' an hour
  • afterwards, looking very pale.
  • "What, my boy?" says Dobbin.
  • George told what had passed between his father and himself.
  • "I'll marry her to-morrow," he said with an oath. "I love her more
  • every day, Dobbin."
  • CHAPTER XXII
  • A Marriage and Part of a Honeymoon
  • Enemies the most obstinate and courageous can't hold out against
  • starvation; so the elder Osborne felt himself pretty easy about his
  • adversary in the encounter we have just described; and as soon as
  • George's supplies fell short, confidently expected his unconditional
  • submission. It was unlucky, to be sure, that the lad should have
  • secured a stock of provisions on the very day when the first encounter
  • took place; but this relief was only temporary, old Osborne thought,
  • and would but delay George's surrender. No communication passed
  • between father and son for some days. The former was sulky at this
  • silence, but not disquieted; for, as he said, he knew where he could
  • put the screw upon George, and only waited the result of that
  • operation. He told the sisters the upshot of the dispute between them,
  • but ordered them to take no notice of the matter, and welcome George on
  • his return as if nothing had happened. His cover was laid as usual
  • every day, and perhaps the old gentleman rather anxiously expected him;
  • but he never came. Some one inquired at the Slaughters' regarding him,
  • where it was said that he and his friend Captain Dobbin had left town.
  • One gusty, raw day at the end of April--the rain whipping the pavement
  • of that ancient street where the old Slaughters' Coffee-house was once
  • situated--George Osborne came into the coffee-room, looking very
  • haggard and pale; although dressed rather smartly in a blue coat and
  • brass buttons, and a neat buff waistcoat of the fashion of those days.
  • Here was his friend Captain Dobbin, in blue and brass too, having
  • abandoned the military frock and French-grey trousers, which were the
  • usual coverings of his lanky person.
  • Dobbin had been in the coffee-room for an hour or more. He had tried
  • all the papers, but could not read them. He had looked at the clock
  • many scores of times; and at the street, where the rain was pattering
  • down, and the people as they clinked by in pattens, left long
  • reflections on the shining stone: he tattooed at the table: he bit his
  • nails most completely, and nearly to the quick (he was accustomed to
  • ornament his great big hands in this way): he balanced the tea-spoon
  • dexterously on the milk jug: upset it, &c., &c.; and in fact showed
  • those signs of disquietude, and practised those desperate attempts at
  • amusement, which men are accustomed to employ when very anxious, and
  • expectant, and perturbed in mind.
  • Some of his comrades, gentlemen who used the room, joked him about the
  • splendour of his costume and his agitation of manner. One asked him if
  • he was going to be married? Dobbin laughed, and said he would send his
  • acquaintance (Major Wagstaff of the Engineers) a piece of cake when
  • that event took place. At length Captain Osborne made his appearance,
  • very smartly dressed, but very pale and agitated as we have said. He
  • wiped his pale face with a large yellow bandanna pocket-handkerchief
  • that was prodigiously scented. He shook hands with Dobbin, looked at
  • the clock, and told John, the waiter, to bring him some curacao. Of
  • this cordial he swallowed off a couple of glasses with nervous
  • eagerness. His friend asked with some interest about his health.
  • "Couldn't get a wink of sleep till daylight, Dob," said he. "Infernal
  • headache and fever. Got up at nine, and went down to the Hummums for a
  • bath. I say, Dob, I feel just as I did on the morning I went out with
  • Rocket at Quebec."
  • "So do I," William responded. "I was a deuced deal more nervous than
  • you were that morning. You made a famous breakfast, I remember. Eat
  • something now."
  • "You're a good old fellow, Will. I'll drink your health, old boy, and
  • farewell to--"
  • "No, no; two glasses are enough," Dobbin interrupted him. "Here, take
  • away the liqueurs, John. Have some cayenne-pepper with your fowl.
  • Make haste though, for it is time we were there."
  • It was about half an hour from twelve when this brief meeting and
  • colloquy took place between the two captains. A coach, into which
  • Captain Osborne's servant put his master's desk and dressing-case, had
  • been in waiting for some time; and into this the two gentlemen hurried
  • under an umbrella, and the valet mounted on the box, cursing the rain
  • and the dampness of the coachman who was steaming beside him. "We
  • shall find a better trap than this at the church-door," says he;
  • "that's a comfort." And the carriage drove on, taking the road down
  • Piccadilly, where Apsley House and St. George's Hospital wore red
  • jackets still; where there were oil-lamps; where Achilles was not yet
  • born; nor the Pimlico arch raised; nor the hideous equestrian monster
  • which pervades it and the neighbourhood; and so they drove down by
  • Brompton to a certain chapel near the Fulham Road there.
  • A chariot was in waiting with four horses; likewise a coach of the kind
  • called glass coaches. Only a very few idlers were collected on account
  • of the dismal rain.
  • "Hang it!" said George, "I said only a pair."
  • "My master would have four," said Mr. Joseph Sedley's servant, who was
  • in waiting; and he and Mr. Osborne's man agreed as they followed George
  • and William into the church, that it was a "reg'lar shabby turn hout;
  • and with scarce so much as a breakfast or a wedding faviour."
  • "Here you are," said our old friend, Jos Sedley, coming forward.
  • "You're five minutes late, George, my boy. What a day, eh? Demmy, it's
  • like the commencement of the rainy season in Bengal. But you'll find
  • my carriage is watertight. Come along, my mother and Emmy are in the
  • vestry."
  • Jos Sedley was splendid. He was fatter than ever. His shirt collars
  • were higher; his face was redder; his shirt-frill flaunted gorgeously
  • out of his variegated waistcoat. Varnished boots were not invented as
  • yet; but the Hessians on his beautiful legs shone so, that they must
  • have been the identical pair in which the gentleman in the old picture
  • used to shave himself; and on his light green coat there bloomed a fine
  • wedding favour, like a great white spreading magnolia.
  • In a word, George had thrown the great cast. He was going to be
  • married. Hence his pallor and nervousness--his sleepless night and
  • agitation in the morning. I have heard people who have gone through
  • the same thing own to the same emotion. After three or four
  • ceremonies, you get accustomed to it, no doubt; but the first dip,
  • everybody allows, is awful.
  • The bride was dressed in a brown silk pelisse (as Captain Dobbin has
  • since informed me), and wore a straw bonnet with a pink ribbon; over
  • the bonnet she had a veil of white Chantilly lace, a gift from Mr.
  • Joseph Sedley, her brother. Captain Dobbin himself had asked leave to
  • present her with a gold chain and watch, which she sported on this
  • occasion; and her mother gave her her diamond brooch--almost the only
  • trinket which was left to the old lady. As the service went on, Mrs.
  • Sedley sat and whimpered a great deal in a pew, consoled by the Irish
  • maid-servant and Mrs. Clapp from the lodgings. Old Sedley would not be
  • present. Jos acted for his father, giving away the bride, whilst
  • Captain Dobbin stepped up as groomsman to his friend George.
  • There was nobody in the church besides the officiating persons and the
  • small marriage party and their attendants. The two valets sat aloof
  • superciliously. The rain came rattling down on the windows. In the
  • intervals of the service you heard it, and the sobbing of old Mrs.
  • Sedley in the pew. The parson's tones echoed sadly through the empty
  • walls. Osborne's "I will" was sounded in very deep bass. Emmy's
  • response came fluttering up to her lips from her heart, but was
  • scarcely heard by anybody except Captain Dobbin.
  • When the service was completed, Jos Sedley came forward and kissed his
  • sister, the bride, for the first time for many months--George's look of
  • gloom had gone, and he seemed quite proud and radiant. "It's your turn,
  • William," says he, putting his hand fondly upon Dobbin's shoulder; and
  • Dobbin went up and touched Amelia on the cheek.
  • Then they went into the vestry and signed the register. "God bless you,
  • Old Dobbin," George said, grasping him by the hand, with something very
  • like moisture glistening in his eyes. William replied only by nodding
  • his head. His heart was too full to say much.
  • "Write directly, and come down as soon as you can, you know," Osborne
  • said. After Mrs. Sedley had taken an hysterical adieu of her daughter,
  • the pair went off to the carriage. "Get out of the way, you little
  • devils," George cried to a small crowd of damp urchins, that were
  • hanging about the chapel-door. The rain drove into the bride and
  • bridegroom's faces as they passed to the chariot. The postilions'
  • favours draggled on their dripping jackets. The few children made a
  • dismal cheer, as the carriage, splashing mud, drove away.
  • William Dobbin stood in the church-porch, looking at it, a queer
  • figure. The small crew of spectators jeered him. He was not thinking
  • about them or their laughter.
  • "Come home and have some tiffin, Dobbin," a voice cried behind him; as
  • a pudgy hand was laid on his shoulder, and the honest fellow's reverie
  • was interrupted. But the Captain had no heart to go a-feasting with
  • Jos Sedley. He put the weeping old lady and her attendants into the
  • carriage along with Jos, and left them without any farther words
  • passing. This carriage, too, drove away, and the urchins gave another
  • sarcastical cheer.
  • "Here, you little beggars," Dobbin said, giving some sixpences amongst
  • them, and then went off by himself through the rain. It was all over.
  • They were married, and happy, he prayed God. Never since he was a boy
  • had he felt so miserable and so lonely. He longed with a heart-sick
  • yearning for the first few days to be over, that he might see her again.
  • Some ten days after the above ceremony, three young men of our
  • acquaintance were enjoying that beautiful prospect of bow windows on
  • the one side and blue sea on the other, which Brighton affords to the
  • traveller. Sometimes it is towards the ocean--smiling with countless
  • dimples, speckled with white sails, with a hundred bathing-machines
  • kissing the skirt of his blue garment--that the Londoner looks
  • enraptured: sometimes, on the contrary, a lover of human nature rather
  • than of prospects of any kind, it is towards the bow windows that he
  • turns, and that swarm of human life which they exhibit. From one issue
  • the notes of a piano, which a young lady in ringlets practises six
  • hours daily, to the delight of the fellow-lodgers: at another, lovely
  • Polly, the nurse-maid, may be seen dandling Master Omnium in her arms:
  • whilst Jacob, his papa, is beheld eating prawns, and devouring the
  • Times for breakfast, at the window below. Yonder are the Misses Leery,
  • who are looking out for the young officers of the Heavies, who are
  • pretty sure to be pacing the cliff; or again it is a City man, with a
  • nautical turn, and a telescope, the size of a six-pounder, who has his
  • instrument pointed seawards, so as to command every pleasure-boat,
  • herring-boat, or bathing-machine that comes to, or quits, the shore,
  • &c., &c. But have we any leisure for a description of Brighton?--for
  • Brighton, a clean Naples with genteel lazzaroni--for Brighton, that
  • always looks brisk, gay, and gaudy, like a harlequin's jacket--for
  • Brighton, which used to be seven hours distant from London at the time
  • of our story; which is now only a hundred minutes off; and which may
  • approach who knows how much nearer, unless Joinville comes and untimely
  • bombards it?
  • "What a monstrous fine girl that is in the lodgings over the
  • milliner's," one of these three promenaders remarked to the other;
  • "Gad, Crawley, did you see what a wink she gave me as I passed?"
  • "Don't break her heart, Jos, you rascal," said another. "Don't trifle
  • with her affections, you Don Juan!"
  • "Get away," said Jos Sedley, quite pleased, and leering up at the
  • maid-servant in question with a most killing ogle. Jos was even more
  • splendid at Brighton than he had been at his sister's marriage. He had
  • brilliant under-waistcoats, any one of which would have set up a
  • moderate buck. He sported a military frock-coat, ornamented with frogs,
  • knobs, black buttons, and meandering embroidery. He had affected a
  • military appearance and habits of late; and he walked with his two
  • friends, who were of that profession, clinking his boot-spurs,
  • swaggering prodigiously, and shooting death-glances at all the servant
  • girls who were worthy to be slain.
  • "What shall we do, boys, till the ladies return?" the buck asked. The
  • ladies were out to Rottingdean in his carriage on a drive.
  • "Let's have a game at billiards," one of his friends said--the tall
  • one, with lacquered mustachios.
  • "No, dammy; no, Captain," Jos replied, rather alarmed. "No billiards
  • to-day, Crawley, my boy; yesterday was enough."
  • "You play very well," said Crawley, laughing. "Don't he, Osborne? How
  • well he made that five stroke, eh?"
  • "Famous," Osborne said. "Jos is a devil of a fellow at billiards, and
  • at everything else, too. I wish there were any tiger-hunting about
  • here! we might go and kill a few before dinner. (There goes a fine
  • girl! what an ankle, eh, Jos?) Tell us that story about the tiger-hunt,
  • and the way you did for him in the jungle--it's a wonderful story that,
  • Crawley." Here George Osborne gave a yawn. "It's rather slow work,"
  • said he, "down here; what shall we do?"
  • "Shall we go and look at some horses that Snaffler's just brought from
  • Lewes fair?" Crawley said.
  • "Suppose we go and have some jellies at Dutton's," and the rogue Jos,
  • willing to kill two birds with one stone. "Devilish fine gal at
  • Dutton's."
  • "Suppose we go and see the Lightning come in, it's just about time?"
  • George said. This advice prevailing over the stables and the jelly,
  • they turned towards the coach-office to witness the Lightning's arrival.
  • As they passed, they met the carriage--Jos Sedley's open carriage, with
  • its magnificent armorial bearings--that splendid conveyance in which he
  • used to drive, about at Cheltenham, majestic and solitary, with his
  • arms folded, and his hat cocked; or, more happy, with ladies by his
  • side.
  • Two were in the carriage now: one a little person, with light hair, and
  • dressed in the height of the fashion; the other in a brown silk
  • pelisse, and a straw bonnet with pink ribbons, with a rosy, round,
  • happy face, that did you good to behold. She checked the carriage as
  • it neared the three gentlemen, after which exercise of authority she
  • looked rather nervous, and then began to blush most absurdly. "We have
  • had a delightful drive, George," she said, "and--and we're so glad to
  • come back; and, Joseph, don't let him be late."
  • "Don't be leading our husbands into mischief, Mr. Sedley, you wicked,
  • wicked man you," Rebecca said, shaking at Jos a pretty little finger
  • covered with the neatest French kid glove. "No billiards, no smoking,
  • no naughtiness!"
  • "My dear Mrs. Crawley--Ah now! upon my honour!" was all Jos could
  • ejaculate by way of reply; but he managed to fall into a tolerable
  • attitude, with his head lying on his shoulder, grinning upwards at his
  • victim, with one hand at his back, which he supported on his cane, and
  • the other hand (the one with the diamond ring) fumbling in his
  • shirt-frill and among his under-waistcoats. As the carriage drove off
  • he kissed the diamond hand to the fair ladies within. He wished all
  • Cheltenham, all Chowringhee, all Calcutta, could see him in that
  • position, waving his hand to such a beauty, and in company with such a
  • famous buck as Rawdon Crawley of the Guards.
  • Our young bride and bridegroom had chosen Brighton as the place where
  • they would pass the first few days after their marriage; and having
  • engaged apartments at the Ship Inn, enjoyed themselves there in great
  • comfort and quietude, until Jos presently joined them. Nor was he the
  • only companion they found there. As they were coming into the hotel
  • from a sea-side walk one afternoon, on whom should they light but
  • Rebecca and her husband. The recognition was immediate. Rebecca flew
  • into the arms of her dearest friend. Crawley and Osborne shook hands
  • together cordially enough: and Becky, in the course of a very few
  • hours, found means to make the latter forget that little unpleasant
  • passage of words which had happened between them. "Do you remember the
  • last time we met at Miss Crawley's, when I was so rude to you, dear
  • Captain Osborne? I thought you seemed careless about dear Amelia. It
  • was that made me angry: and so pert: and so unkind: and so ungrateful.
  • Do forgive me!" Rebecca said, and she held out her hand with so frank
  • and winning a grace, that Osborne could not but take it. By humbly and
  • frankly acknowledging yourself to be in the wrong, there is no knowing,
  • my son, what good you may do. I knew once a gentleman and very worthy
  • practitioner in Vanity Fair, who used to do little wrongs to his
  • neighbours on purpose, and in order to apologise for them in an open
  • and manly way afterwards--and what ensued? My friend Crocky Doyle was
  • liked everywhere, and deemed to be rather impetuous--but the honestest
  • fellow. Becky's humility passed for sincerity with George Osborne.
  • These two young couples had plenty of tales to relate to each other.
  • The marriages of either were discussed; and their prospects in life
  • canvassed with the greatest frankness and interest on both sides.
  • George's marriage was to be made known to his father by his friend
  • Captain Dobbin; and young Osborne trembled rather for the result of
  • that communication. Miss Crawley, on whom all Rawdon's hopes depended,
  • still held out. Unable to make an entry into her house in Park Lane,
  • her affectionate nephew and niece had followed her to Brighton, where
  • they had emissaries continually planted at her door.
  • "I wish you could see some of Rawdon's friends who are always about our
  • door," Rebecca said, laughing. "Did you ever see a dun, my dear; or a
  • bailiff and his man? Two of the abominable wretches watched all last
  • week at the greengrocer's opposite, and we could not get away until
  • Sunday. If Aunty does not relent, what shall we do?"
  • Rawdon, with roars of laughter, related a dozen amusing anecdotes of
  • his duns, and Rebecca's adroit treatment of them. He vowed with a
  • great oath that there was no woman in Europe who could talk a creditor
  • over as she could. Almost immediately after their marriage, her
  • practice had begun, and her husband found the immense value of such a
  • wife. They had credit in plenty, but they had bills also in abundance,
  • and laboured under a scarcity of ready money. Did these
  • debt-difficulties affect Rawdon's good spirits? No. Everybody in
  • Vanity Fair must have remarked how well those live who are comfortably
  • and thoroughly in debt: how they deny themselves nothing; how jolly and
  • easy they are in their minds. Rawdon and his wife had the very best
  • apartments at the inn at Brighton; the landlord, as he brought in the
  • first dish, bowed before them as to his greatest customers: and Rawdon
  • abused the dinners and wine with an audacity which no grandee in the
  • land could surpass. Long custom, a manly appearance, faultless boots
  • and clothes, and a happy fierceness of manner, will often help a man as
  • much as a great balance at the banker's.
  • The two wedding parties met constantly in each other's apartments.
  • After two or three nights the gentlemen of an evening had a little
  • piquet, as their wives sate and chatted apart. This pastime, and the
  • arrival of Jos Sedley, who made his appearance in his grand open
  • carriage, and who played a few games at billiards with Captain Crawley,
  • replenished Rawdon's purse somewhat, and gave him the benefit of that
  • ready money for which the greatest spirits are sometimes at a
  • stand-still.
  • So the three gentlemen walked down to see the Lightning coach come in.
  • Punctual to the minute, the coach crowded inside and out, the guard
  • blowing his accustomed tune on the horn--the Lightning came tearing
  • down the street, and pulled up at the coach-office.
  • "Hullo! there's old Dobbin," George cried, quite delighted to see his
  • old friend perched on the roof; and whose promised visit to Brighton
  • had been delayed until now. "How are you, old fellow? Glad you're come
  • down. Emmy'll be delighted to see you," Osborne said, shaking his
  • comrade warmly by the hand as soon as his descent from the vehicle was
  • effected--and then he added, in a lower and agitated voice, "What's the
  • news? Have you been in Russell Square? What does the governor say?
  • Tell me everything."
  • Dobbin looked very pale and grave. "I've seen your father," said he.
  • "How's Amelia--Mrs. George? I'll tell you all the news presently: but
  • I've brought the great news of all: and that is--"
  • "Out with it, old fellow," George said.
  • "We're ordered to Belgium. All the army goes--guards and all.
  • Heavytop's got the gout, and is mad at not being able to move. O'Dowd
  • goes in command, and we embark from Chatham next week." This news of
  • war could not but come with a shock upon our lovers, and caused all
  • these gentlemen to look very serious.
  • CHAPTER XXIII
  • Captain Dobbin Proceeds on His Canvass
  • What is the secret mesmerism which friendship possesses, and under the
  • operation of which a person ordinarily sluggish, or cold, or timid,
  • becomes wise, active, and resolute, in another's behalf? As Alexis,
  • after a few passes from Dr. Elliotson, despises pain, reads with the
  • back of his head, sees miles off, looks into next week, and performs
  • other wonders, of which, in his own private normal condition, he is
  • quite incapable; so you see, in the affairs of the world and under the
  • magnetism of friendships, the modest man becomes bold, the shy
  • confident, the lazy active, or the impetuous prudent and peaceful.
  • What is it, on the other hand, that makes the lawyer eschew his own
  • cause, and call in his learned brother as an adviser? And what causes
  • the doctor, when ailing, to send for his rival, and not sit down and
  • examine his own tongue in the chimney glass, or write his own
  • prescription at his study-table? I throw out these queries for
  • intelligent readers to answer, who know, at once, how credulous we are,
  • and how sceptical, how soft and how obstinate, how firm for others and
  • how diffident about ourselves: meanwhile, it is certain that our
  • friend William Dobbin, who was personally of so complying a disposition
  • that if his parents had pressed him much, it is probable he would have
  • stepped down into the kitchen and married the cook, and who, to further
  • his own interests, would have found the most insuperable difficulty in
  • walking across the street, found himself as busy and eager in the
  • conduct of George Osborne's affairs, as the most selfish tactician
  • could be in the pursuit of his own.
  • Whilst our friend George and his young wife were enjoying the first
  • blushing days of the honeymoon at Brighton, honest William was left as
  • George's plenipotentiary in London, to transact all the business part
  • of the marriage. His duty it was to call upon old Sedley and his wife,
  • and to keep the former in good humour: to draw Jos and his
  • brother-in-law nearer together, so that Jos's position and dignity, as
  • collector of Boggley Wollah, might compensate for his father's loss of
  • station, and tend to reconcile old Osborne to the alliance: and
  • finally, to communicate it to the latter in such a way as should least
  • irritate the old gentleman.
  • Now, before he faced the head of the Osborne house with the news which
  • it was his duty to tell, Dobbin bethought him that it would be politic
  • to make friends of the rest of the family, and, if possible, have the
  • ladies on his side. They can't be angry in their hearts, thought he.
  • No woman ever was really angry at a romantic marriage. A little crying
  • out, and they must come round to their brother; when the three of us
  • will lay siege to old Mr. Osborne. So this Machiavellian captain of
  • infantry cast about him for some happy means or stratagem by which he
  • could gently and gradually bring the Misses Osborne to a knowledge of
  • their brother's secret.
  • By a little inquiry regarding his mother's engagements, he was pretty
  • soon able to find out by whom of her ladyship's friends parties were
  • given at that season; where he would be likely to meet Osborne's
  • sisters; and, though he had that abhorrence of routs and evening
  • parties which many sensible men, alas! entertain, he soon found one
  • where the Misses Osborne were to be present. Making his appearance at
  • the ball, where he danced a couple of sets with both of them, and was
  • prodigiously polite, he actually had the courage to ask Miss Osborne
  • for a few minutes' conversation at an early hour the next day, when he
  • had, he said, to communicate to her news of the very greatest interest.
  • What was it that made her start back, and gaze upon him for a moment,
  • and then on the ground at her feet, and make as if she would faint on
  • his arm, had he not by opportunely treading on her toes, brought the
  • young lady back to self-control? Why was she so violently agitated at
  • Dobbin's request? This can never be known. But when he came the next
  • day, Maria was not in the drawing-room with her sister, and Miss Wirt
  • went off for the purpose of fetching the latter, and the Captain and
  • Miss Osborne were left together. They were both so silent that the
  • ticktock of the Sacrifice of Iphigenia clock on the mantelpiece became
  • quite rudely audible.
  • "What a nice party it was last night," Miss Osborne at length began,
  • encouragingly; "and--and how you're improved in your dancing, Captain
  • Dobbin. Surely somebody has taught you," she added, with amiable
  • archness.
  • "You should see me dance a reel with Mrs. Major O'Dowd of ours; and a
  • jig--did you ever see a jig? But I think anybody could dance with you,
  • Miss Osborne, who dance so well."
  • "Is the Major's lady young and beautiful, Captain?" the fair questioner
  • continued. "Ah, what a terrible thing it must be to be a soldier's
  • wife! I wonder they have any spirits to dance, and in these dreadful
  • times of war, too! O Captain Dobbin, I tremble sometimes when I think
  • of our dearest George, and the dangers of the poor soldier. Are there
  • many married officers of the --th, Captain Dobbin?"
  • "Upon my word, she's playing her hand rather too openly," Miss Wirt
  • thought; but this observation is merely parenthetic, and was not heard
  • through the crevice of the door at which the governess uttered it.
  • "One of our young men is just married," Dobbin said, now coming to the
  • point. "It was a very old attachment, and the young couple are as poor
  • as church mice." "O, how delightful! O, how romantic!" Miss Osborne
  • cried, as the Captain said "old attachment" and "poor." Her sympathy
  • encouraged him.
  • "The finest young fellow in the regiment," he continued. "Not a braver
  • or handsomer officer in the army; and such a charming wife! How you
  • would like her! how you will like her when you know her, Miss
  • Osborne." The young lady thought the actual moment had arrived, and
  • that Dobbin's nervousness which now came on and was visible in many
  • twitchings of his face, in his manner of beating the ground with his
  • great feet, in the rapid buttoning and unbuttoning of his frock-coat,
  • &c.--Miss Osborne, I say, thought that when he had given himself a
  • little air, he would unbosom himself entirely, and prepared eagerly to
  • listen. And the clock, in the altar on which Iphigenia was situated,
  • beginning, after a preparatory convulsion, to toll twelve, the mere
  • tolling seemed as if it would last until one--so prolonged was the
  • knell to the anxious spinster.
  • "But it's not about marriage that I came to speak--that is that
  • marriage--that is--no, I mean--my dear Miss Osborne, it's about our
  • dear friend George," Dobbin said.
  • "About George?" she said in a tone so discomfited that Maria and Miss
  • Wirt laughed at the other side of the door, and even that abandoned
  • wretch of a Dobbin felt inclined to smile himself; for he was not
  • altogether unconscious of the state of affairs: George having often
  • bantered him gracefully and said, "Hang it, Will, why don't you take
  • old Jane? She'll have you if you ask her. I'll bet you five to two she
  • will."
  • "Yes, about George, then," he continued. "There has been a difference
  • between him and Mr. Osborne. And I regard him so much--for you know
  • we have been like brothers--that I hope and pray the quarrel may be
  • settled. We must go abroad, Miss Osborne. We may be ordered off at a
  • day's warning. Who knows what may happen in the campaign? Don't be
  • agitated, dear Miss Osborne; and those two at least should part
  • friends."
  • "There has been no quarrel, Captain Dobbin, except a little usual scene
  • with Papa," the lady said. "We are expecting George back daily. What
  • Papa wanted was only for his good. He has but to come back, and I'm
  • sure all will be well; and dear Rhoda, who went away from here in sad
  • sad anger, I know will forgive him. Woman forgives but too readily,
  • Captain."
  • "Such an angel as YOU I am sure would," Mr. Dobbin said, with atrocious
  • astuteness. "And no man can pardon himself for giving a woman pain.
  • What would you feel, if a man were faithless to you?"
  • "I should perish--I should throw myself out of window--I should take
  • poison--I should pine and die. I know I should," Miss cried, who had
  • nevertheless gone through one or two affairs of the heart without any
  • idea of suicide.
  • "And there are others," Dobbin continued, "as true and as kind-hearted
  • as yourself. I'm not speaking about the West Indian heiress, Miss
  • Osborne, but about a poor girl whom George once loved, and who was bred
  • from her childhood to think of nobody but him. I've seen her in her
  • poverty uncomplaining, broken-hearted, without a fault. It is of Miss
  • Sedley I speak. Dear Miss Osborne, can your generous heart quarrel
  • with your brother for being faithful to her? Could his own conscience
  • ever forgive him if he deserted her? Be her friend--she always loved
  • you--and--and I am come here charged by George to tell you that he
  • holds his engagement to her as the most sacred duty he has; and to
  • entreat you, at least, to be on his side."
  • When any strong emotion took possession of Mr. Dobbin, and after the
  • first word or two of hesitation, he could speak with perfect fluency,
  • and it was evident that his eloquence on this occasion made some
  • impression upon the lady whom he addressed.
  • "Well," said she, "this is--most surprising--most painful--most
  • extraordinary--what will Papa say?--that George should fling away such
  • a superb establishment as was offered to him but at any rate he has
  • found a very brave champion in you, Captain Dobbin. It is of no use,
  • however," she continued, after a pause; "I feel for poor Miss Sedley,
  • most certainly--most sincerely, you know. We never thought the match a
  • good one, though we were always very kind to her here--very. But Papa
  • will never consent, I am sure. And a well brought up young woman, you
  • know--with a well-regulated mind, must--George must give her up, dear
  • Captain Dobbin, indeed he must."
  • "Ought a man to give up the woman he loved, just when misfortune befell
  • her?" Dobbin said, holding out his hand. "Dear Miss Osborne, is this
  • the counsel I hear from you? My dear young lady! you must befriend
  • her. He can't give her up. He must not give her up. Would a man,
  • think you, give YOU up if you were poor?"
  • This adroit question touched the heart of Miss Jane Osborne not a
  • little. "I don't know whether we poor girls ought to believe what you
  • men say, Captain," she said. "There is that in woman's tenderness which
  • induces her to believe too easily. I'm afraid you are cruel, cruel
  • deceivers,"--and Dobbin certainly thought he felt a pressure of the
  • hand which Miss Osborne had extended to him.
  • He dropped it in some alarm. "Deceivers!" said he. "No, dear Miss
  • Osborne, all men are not; your brother is not; George has loved Amelia
  • Sedley ever since they were children; no wealth would make him marry
  • any but her. Ought he to forsake her? Would you counsel him to do so?"
  • What could Miss Jane say to such a question, and with her own peculiar
  • views? She could not answer it, so she parried it by saying, "Well, if
  • you are not a deceiver, at least you are very romantic"; and Captain
  • William let this observation pass without challenge.
  • At length when, by the help of farther polite speeches, he deemed that
  • Miss Osborne was sufficiently prepared to receive the whole news, he
  • poured it into her ear. "George could not give up Amelia--George was
  • married to her"--and then he related the circumstances of the marriage
  • as we know them already: how the poor girl would have died had not her
  • lover kept his faith: how Old Sedley had refused all consent to the
  • match, and a licence had been got: and Jos Sedley had come from
  • Cheltenham to give away the bride: how they had gone to Brighton in
  • Jos's chariot-and-four to pass the honeymoon: and how George counted on
  • his dear kind sisters to befriend him with their father, as women--so
  • true and tender as they were--assuredly would do. And so, asking
  • permission (readily granted) to see her again, and rightly conjecturing
  • that the news he had brought would be told in the next five minutes to
  • the other ladies, Captain Dobbin made his bow and took his leave.
  • He was scarcely out of the house, when Miss Maria and Miss Wirt rushed
  • in to Miss Osborne, and the whole wonderful secret was imparted to them
  • by that lady. To do them justice, neither of the sisters was very much
  • displeased. There is something about a runaway match with which few
  • ladies can be seriously angry, and Amelia rather rose in their
  • estimation, from the spirit which she had displayed in consenting to
  • the union. As they debated the story, and prattled about it, and
  • wondered what Papa would do and say, came a loud knock, as of an
  • avenging thunder-clap, at the door, which made these conspirators
  • start. It must be Papa, they thought. But it was not he. It was only
  • Mr. Frederick Bullock, who had come from the City according to
  • appointment, to conduct the ladies to a flower-show.
  • This gentleman, as may be imagined, was not kept long in ignorance of
  • the secret. But his face, when he heard it, showed an amazement which
  • was very different to that look of sentimental wonder which the
  • countenances of the sisters wore. Mr. Bullock was a man of the world,
  • and a junior partner of a wealthy firm. He knew what money was, and
  • the value of it: and a delightful throb of expectation lighted up his
  • little eyes, and caused him to smile on his Maria, as he thought that
  • by this piece of folly of Mr. George's she might be worth thirty
  • thousand pounds more than he had ever hoped to get with her.
  • "Gad! Jane," said he, surveying even the elder sister with some
  • interest, "Eels will be sorry he cried off. You may be a fifty
  • thousand pounder yet."
  • The sisters had never thought of the money question up to that moment,
  • but Fred Bullock bantered them with graceful gaiety about it during
  • their forenoon's excursion; and they had risen not a little in their
  • own esteem by the time when, the morning amusement over, they drove
  • back to dinner. And do not let my respected reader exclaim against
  • this selfishness as unnatural. It was but this present morning, as he
  • rode on the omnibus from Richmond; while it changed horses, this
  • present chronicler, being on the roof, marked three little children
  • playing in a puddle below, very dirty, and friendly, and happy. To
  • these three presently came another little one. "POLLY," says she, "YOUR
  • SISTER'S GOT A PENNY." At which the children got up from the puddle
  • instantly, and ran off to pay their court to Peggy. And as the omnibus
  • drove off I saw Peggy with the infantine procession at her tail,
  • marching with great dignity towards the stall of a neighbouring
  • lollipop-woman.
  • CHAPTER XXIV
  • In Which Mr. Osborne Takes Down the Family Bible
  • So having prepared the sisters, Dobbin hastened away to the City to
  • perform the rest and more difficult part of the task which he had
  • undertaken. The idea of facing old Osborne rendered him not a little
  • nervous, and more than once he thought of leaving the young ladies to
  • communicate the secret, which, as he was aware, they could not long
  • retain. But he had promised to report to George upon the manner in
  • which the elder Osborne bore the intelligence; so going into the City
  • to the paternal counting-house in Thames Street, he despatched thence a
  • note to Mr. Osborne begging for a half-hour's conversation relative to
  • the affairs of his son George. Dobbin's messenger returned from Mr.
  • Osborne's house of business, with the compliments of the latter, who
  • would be very happy to see the Captain immediately, and away
  • accordingly Dobbin went to confront him.
  • The Captain, with a half-guilty secret to confess, and with the
  • prospect of a painful and stormy interview before him, entered Mr.
  • Osborne's offices with a most dismal countenance and abashed gait, and,
  • passing through the outer room where Mr. Chopper presided, was greeted
  • by that functionary from his desk with a waggish air which farther
  • discomfited him. Mr. Chopper winked and nodded and pointed his pen
  • towards his patron's door, and said, "You'll find the governor all
  • right," with the most provoking good humour.
  • Osborne rose too, and shook him heartily by the hand, and said, "How
  • do, my dear boy?" with a cordiality that made poor George's ambassador
  • feel doubly guilty. His hand lay as if dead in the old gentleman's
  • grasp. He felt that he, Dobbin, was more or less the cause of all that
  • had happened. It was he had brought back George to Amelia: it was he
  • had applauded, encouraged, transacted almost the marriage which he was
  • come to reveal to George's father: and the latter was receiving him
  • with smiles of welcome; patting him on the shoulder, and calling him
  • "Dobbin, my dear boy." The envoy had indeed good reason to hang his
  • head.
  • Osborne fully believed that Dobbin had come to announce his son's
  • surrender. Mr. Chopper and his principal were talking over the matter
  • between George and his father, at the very moment when Dobbin's
  • messenger arrived. Both agreed that George was sending in his
  • submission. Both had been expecting it for some days--and "Lord!
  • Chopper, what a marriage we'll have!" Mr. Osborne said to his clerk,
  • snapping his big fingers, and jingling all the guineas and shillings in
  • his great pockets as he eyed his subordinate with a look of triumph.
  • With similar operations conducted in both pockets, and a knowing jolly
  • air, Osborne from his chair regarded Dobbin seated blank and silent
  • opposite to him. "What a bumpkin he is for a Captain in the army," old
  • Osborne thought. "I wonder George hasn't taught him better manners."
  • At last Dobbin summoned courage to begin. "Sir," said he, "I've
  • brought you some very grave news. I have been at the Horse Guards this
  • morning, and there's no doubt that our regiment will be ordered abroad,
  • and on its way to Belgium before the week is over. And you know, sir,
  • that we shan't be home again before a tussle which may be fatal to many
  • of us." Osborne looked grave. "My s--, the regiment will do its
  • duty, sir, I daresay," he said.
  • "The French are very strong, sir," Dobbin went on. "The Russians and
  • Austrians will be a long time before they can bring their troops down.
  • We shall have the first of the fight, sir; and depend on it Boney will
  • take care that it shall be a hard one."
  • "What are you driving at, Dobbin?" his interlocutor said, uneasy and
  • with a scowl. "I suppose no Briton's afraid of any d---- Frenchman,
  • hey?"
  • "I only mean, that before we go, and considering the great and certain
  • risk that hangs over every one of us--if there are any differences
  • between you and George--it would be as well, sir, that--that you
  • should shake hands: wouldn't it? Should anything happen to him, I
  • think you would never forgive yourself if you hadn't parted in charity."
  • As he said this, poor William Dobbin blushed crimson, and felt and
  • owned that he himself was a traitor. But for him, perhaps, this
  • severance need never have taken place. Why had not George's marriage
  • been delayed? What call was there to press it on so eagerly? He felt
  • that George would have parted from Amelia at any rate without a mortal
  • pang. Amelia, too, MIGHT have recovered the shock of losing him. It
  • was his counsel had brought about this marriage, and all that was to
  • ensue from it. And why was it? Because he loved her so much that he
  • could not bear to see her unhappy: or because his own sufferings of
  • suspense were so unendurable that he was glad to crush them at once--as
  • we hasten a funeral after a death, or, when a separation from those we
  • love is imminent, cannot rest until the parting be over.
  • "You are a good fellow, William," said Mr. Osborne in a softened voice;
  • "and me and George shouldn't part in anger, that is true. Look here.
  • I've done for him as much as any father ever did. He's had three times
  • as much money from me, as I warrant your father ever gave you. But I
  • don't brag about that. How I've toiled for him, and worked and
  • employed my talents and energy, I won't say. Ask Chopper. Ask
  • himself. Ask the City of London. Well, I propose to him such a
  • marriage as any nobleman in the land might be proud of--the only thing
  • in life I ever asked him--and he refuses me. Am I wrong? Is the
  • quarrel of MY making? What do I seek but his good, for which I've been
  • toiling like a convict ever since he was born? Nobody can say there's
  • anything selfish in me. Let him come back. I say, here's my hand. I
  • say, forget and forgive. As for marrying now, it's out of the
  • question. Let him and Miss S. make it up, and make out the marriage
  • afterwards, when he comes back a Colonel; for he shall be a Colonel, by
  • G-- he shall, if money can do it. I'm glad you've brought him round.
  • I know it's you, Dobbin. You've took him out of many a scrape before.
  • Let him come. I shan't be hard. Come along, and dine in Russell
  • Square to-day: both of you. The old shop, the old hour. You'll find a
  • neck of venison, and no questions asked."
  • This praise and confidence smote Dobbin's heart very keenly. Every
  • moment the colloquy continued in this tone, he felt more and more
  • guilty. "Sir," said he, "I fear you deceive yourself. I am sure you
  • do. George is much too high-minded a man ever to marry for money. A
  • threat on your part that you would disinherit him in case of
  • disobedience would only be followed by resistance on his."
  • "Why, hang it, man, you don't call offering him eight or ten thousand a
  • year threatening him?" Mr. Osborne said, with still provoking good
  • humour. "'Gad, if Miss S. will have me, I'm her man. I ain't
  • particular about a shade or so of tawny." And the old gentleman gave
  • his knowing grin and coarse laugh.
  • "You forget, sir, previous engagements into which Captain Osborne had
  • entered," the ambassador said, gravely.
  • "What engagements? What the devil do you mean? You don't mean," Mr.
  • Osborne continued, gathering wrath and astonishment as the thought now
  • first came upon him; "you don't mean that he's such a d---- fool as to
  • be still hankering after that swindling old bankrupt's daughter? You've
  • not come here for to make me suppose that he wants to marry HER? Marry
  • HER, that IS a good one. My son and heir marry a beggar's girl out of
  • a gutter. D---- him, if he does, let him buy a broom and sweep a
  • crossing. She was always dangling and ogling after him, I recollect
  • now; and I've no doubt she was put on by her old sharper of a father."
  • "Mr. Sedley was your very good friend, sir," Dobbin interposed, almost
  • pleased at finding himself growing angry. "Time was you called him
  • better names than rogue and swindler. The match was of your making.
  • George had no right to play fast and loose--"
  • "Fast and loose!" howled out old Osborne. "Fast and loose! Why, hang
  • me, those are the very words my gentleman used himself when he gave
  • himself airs, last Thursday was a fortnight, and talked about the
  • British army to his father who made him. What, it's you who have been
  • a setting of him up--is it? and my service to you, CAPTAIN. It's you
  • who want to introduce beggars into my family. Thank you for nothing,
  • Captain. Marry HER indeed--he, he! why should he? I warrant you she'd
  • go to him fast enough without."
  • "Sir," said Dobbin, starting up in undisguised anger; "no man shall
  • abuse that lady in my hearing, and you least of all."
  • "O, you're a-going to call me out, are you? Stop, let me ring the bell
  • for pistols for two. Mr. George sent you here to insult his father,
  • did he?" Osborne said, pulling at the bell-cord.
  • "Mr. Osborne," said Dobbin, with a faltering voice, "it's you who are
  • insulting the best creature in the world. You had best spare her, sir,
  • for she's your son's wife."
  • And with this, feeling that he could say no more, Dobbin went away,
  • Osborne sinking back in his chair, and looking wildly after him. A
  • clerk came in, obedient to the bell; and the Captain was scarcely out
  • of the court where Mr. Osborne's offices were, when Mr. Chopper the
  • chief clerk came rushing hatless after him.
  • "For God's sake, what is it?" Mr. Chopper said, catching the Captain by
  • the skirt. "The governor's in a fit. What has Mr. George been doing?"
  • "He married Miss Sedley five days ago," Dobbin replied. "I was his
  • groomsman, Mr. Chopper, and you must stand his friend."
  • The old clerk shook his head. "If that's your news, Captain, it's bad.
  • The governor will never forgive him."
  • Dobbin begged Chopper to report progress to him at the hotel where he
  • was stopping, and walked off moodily westwards, greatly perturbed as to
  • the past and the future.
  • When the Russell Square family came to dinner that evening, they found
  • the father of the house seated in his usual place, but with that air of
  • gloom on his face, which, whenever it appeared there, kept the whole
  • circle silent. The ladies, and Mr. Bullock who dined with them, felt
  • that the news had been communicated to Mr. Osborne. His dark looks
  • affected Mr. Bullock so far as to render him still and quiet: but he
  • was unusually bland and attentive to Miss Maria, by whom he sat, and to
  • her sister presiding at the head of the table.
  • Miss Wirt, by consequence, was alone on her side of the board, a gap
  • being left between her and Miss Jane Osborne. Now this was George's
  • place when he dined at home; and his cover, as we said, was laid for
  • him in expectation of that truant's return. Nothing occurred during
  • dinner-time except smiling Mr. Frederick's flagging confidential
  • whispers, and the clinking of plate and china, to interrupt the silence
  • of the repast. The servants went about stealthily doing their duty.
  • Mutes at funerals could not look more glum than the domestics of Mr.
  • Osborne The neck of venison of which he had invited Dobbin to partake,
  • was carved by him in perfect silence; but his own share went away
  • almost untasted, though he drank much, and the butler assiduously
  • filled his glass.
  • At last, just at the end of the dinner, his eyes, which had been
  • staring at everybody in turn, fixed themselves for a while upon the
  • plate laid for George. He pointed to it presently with his left hand.
  • His daughters looked at him and did not comprehend, or choose to
  • comprehend, the signal; nor did the servants at first understand it.
  • "Take that plate away," at last he said, getting up with an oath--and
  • with this pushing his chair back, he walked into his own room.
  • Behind Mr. Osborne's dining-room was the usual apartment which went in
  • his house by the name of the study; and was sacred to the master of the
  • house. Hither Mr. Osborne would retire of a Sunday forenoon when not
  • minded to go to church; and here pass the morning in his crimson
  • leather chair, reading the paper. A couple of glazed book-cases were
  • here, containing standard works in stout gilt bindings. The "Annual
  • Register," the "Gentleman's Magazine," "Blair's Sermons," and "Hume and
  • Smollett." From year's end to year's end he never took one of these
  • volumes from the shelf; but there was no member of the family that
  • would dare for his life to touch one of the books, except upon those
  • rare Sunday evenings when there was no dinner-party, and when the great
  • scarlet Bible and Prayer-book were taken out from the corner where they
  • stood beside his copy of the Peerage, and the servants being rung up to
  • the dining parlour, Osborne read the evening service to his family in a
  • loud grating pompous voice. No member of the household, child, or
  • domestic, ever entered that room without a certain terror. Here he
  • checked the housekeeper's accounts, and overhauled the butler's
  • cellar-book. Hence he could command, across the clean gravel
  • court-yard, the back entrance of the stables with which one of his
  • bells communicated, and into this yard the coachman issued from his
  • premises as into a dock, and Osborne swore at him from the study
  • window. Four times a year Miss Wirt entered this apartment to get her
  • salary; and his daughters to receive their quarterly allowance. George
  • as a boy had been horsewhipped in this room many times; his mother
  • sitting sick on the stair listening to the cuts of the whip. The boy
  • was scarcely ever known to cry under the punishment; the poor woman
  • used to fondle and kiss him secretly, and give him money to soothe him
  • when he came out.
  • There was a picture of the family over the mantelpiece, removed thither
  • from the front room after Mrs. Osborne's death--George was on a pony,
  • the elder sister holding him up a bunch of flowers; the younger led by
  • her mother's hand; all with red cheeks and large red mouths, simpering
  • on each other in the approved family-portrait manner. The mother lay
  • underground now, long since forgotten--the sisters and brother had a
  • hundred different interests of their own, and, familiar still, were
  • utterly estranged from each other. Some few score of years afterwards,
  • when all the parties represented are grown old, what bitter satire
  • there is in those flaunting childish family-portraits, with their farce
  • of sentiment and smiling lies, and innocence so self-conscious and
  • self-satisfied. Osborne's own state portrait, with that of his great
  • silver inkstand and arm-chair, had taken the place of honour in the
  • dining-room, vacated by the family-piece.
  • To this study old Osborne retired then, greatly to the relief of the
  • small party whom he left. When the servants had withdrawn, they began
  • to talk for a while volubly but very low; then they went upstairs
  • quietly, Mr. Bullock accompanying them stealthily on his creaking
  • shoes. He had no heart to sit alone drinking wine, and so close to the
  • terrible old gentleman in the study hard at hand.
  • An hour at least after dark, the butler, not having received any
  • summons, ventured to tap at his door and take him in wax candles and
  • tea. The master of the house sate in his chair, pretending to read the
  • paper, and when the servant, placing the lights and refreshment on the
  • table by him, retired, Mr. Osborne got up and locked the door after
  • him. This time there was no mistaking the matter; all the household
  • knew that some great catastrophe was going to happen which was likely
  • direly to affect Master George.
  • In the large shining mahogany escritoire Mr. Osborne had a drawer
  • especially devoted to his son's affairs and papers. Here he kept all
  • the documents relating to him ever since he had been a boy: here were
  • his prize copy-books and drawing-books, all bearing George's hand, and
  • that of the master: here were his first letters in large round-hand
  • sending his love to papa and mamma, and conveying his petitions for a
  • cake. His dear godpapa Sedley was more than once mentioned in them.
  • Curses quivered on old Osborne's livid lips, and horrid hatred and
  • disappointment writhed in his heart, as looking through some of these
  • papers he came on that name. They were all marked and docketed, and
  • tied with red tape. It was--"From Georgy, requesting 5s., April 23,
  • 18--; answered, April 25"--or "Georgy about a pony, October 13"--and so
  • forth. In another packet were "Dr. S.'s accounts"--"G.'s tailor's bills
  • and outfits, drafts on me by G. Osborne, jun.," &c.--his letters from
  • the West Indies--his agent's letters, and the newspapers containing his
  • commissions: here was a whip he had when a boy, and in a paper a locket
  • containing his hair, which his mother used to wear.
  • Turning one over after another, and musing over these memorials, the
  • unhappy man passed many hours. His dearest vanities, ambitious hopes,
  • had all been here. What pride he had in his boy! He was the
  • handsomest child ever seen. Everybody said he was like a nobleman's
  • son. A royal princess had remarked him, and kissed him, and asked his
  • name in Kew Gardens. What City man could show such another? Could a
  • prince have been better cared for? Anything that money could buy had
  • been his son's. He used to go down on speech-days with four horses and
  • new liveries, and scatter new shillings among the boys at the school
  • where George was: when he went with George to the depot of his
  • regiment, before the boy embarked for Canada, he gave the officers such
  • a dinner as the Duke of York might have sat down to. Had he ever
  • refused a bill when George drew one? There they were--paid without a
  • word. Many a general in the army couldn't ride the horses he had! He
  • had the child before his eyes, on a hundred different days when he
  • remembered George after dinner, when he used to come in as bold as a
  • lord and drink off his glass by his father's side, at the head of the
  • table--on the pony at Brighton, when he cleared the hedge and kept up
  • with the huntsman--on the day when he was presented to the Prince
  • Regent at the levee, when all Saint James's couldn't produce a finer
  • young fellow. And this, this was the end of all!--to marry a bankrupt
  • and fly in the face of duty and fortune! What humiliation and fury:
  • what pangs of sickening rage, balked ambition and love; what wounds of
  • outraged vanity, tenderness even, had this old worldling now to suffer
  • under!
  • Having examined these papers, and pondered over this one and the other,
  • in that bitterest of all helpless woe, with which miserable men think
  • of happy past times--George's father took the whole of the documents
  • out of the drawer in which he had kept them so long, and locked them
  • into a writing-box, which he tied, and sealed with his seal. Then he
  • opened the book-case, and took down the great red Bible we have spoken
  • of a pompous book, seldom looked at, and shining all over with gold.
  • There was a frontispiece to the volume, representing Abraham
  • sacrificing Isaac. Here, according to custom, Osborne had recorded on
  • the fly-leaf, and in his large clerk-like hand, the dates of his
  • marriage and his wife's death, and the births and Christian names of
  • his children. Jane came first, then George Sedley Osborne, then Maria
  • Frances, and the days of the christening of each. Taking a pen, he
  • carefully obliterated George's names from the page; and when the leaf
  • was quite dry, restored the volume to the place from which he had moved
  • it. Then he took a document out of another drawer, where his own
  • private papers were kept; and having read it, crumpled it up and
  • lighted it at one of the candles, and saw it burn entirely away in the
  • grate. It was his will; which being burned, he sate down and wrote off
  • a letter, and rang for his servant, whom he charged to deliver it in
  • the morning. It was morning already: as he went up to bed, the whole
  • house was alight with the sunshine; and the birds were singing among
  • the fresh green leaves in Russell Square.
  • Anxious to keep all Mr. Osborne's family and dependants in good humour,
  • and to make as many friends as possible for George in his hour of
  • adversity, William Dobbin, who knew the effect which good dinners and
  • good wines have upon the soul of man, wrote off immediately on his
  • return to his inn the most hospitable of invitations to Thomas Chopper,
  • Esquire, begging that gentleman to dine with him at the Slaughters'
  • next day. The note reached Mr. Chopper before he left the City, and
  • the instant reply was, that "Mr. Chopper presents his respectful
  • compliments, and will have the honour and pleasure of waiting on
  • Captain D." The invitation and the rough draft of the answer were
  • shown to Mrs. Chopper and her daughters on his return to Somers' Town
  • that evening, and they talked about military gents and West End men
  • with great exultation as the family sate and partook of tea. When the
  • girls had gone to rest, Mr. and Mrs. C. discoursed upon the strange
  • events which were occurring in the governor's family. Never had the
  • clerk seen his principal so moved. When he went in to Mr. Osborne,
  • after Captain Dobbin's departure, Mr. Chopper found his chief black in
  • the face, and all but in a fit: some dreadful quarrel, he was certain,
  • had occurred between Mr. O. and the young Captain. Chopper had been
  • instructed to make out an account of all sums paid to Captain Osborne
  • within the last three years. "And a precious lot of money he has had
  • too," the chief clerk said, and respected his old and young master the
  • more, for the liberal way in which the guineas had been flung about.
  • The dispute was something about Miss Sedley. Mrs. Chopper vowed and
  • declared she pitied that poor young lady to lose such a handsome young
  • fellow as the Capting. As the daughter of an unlucky speculator, who
  • had paid a very shabby dividend, Mr. Chopper had no great regard for
  • Miss Sedley. He respected the house of Osborne before all others in
  • the City of London: and his hope and wish was that Captain George
  • should marry a nobleman's daughter. The clerk slept a great deal
  • sounder than his principal that night; and, cuddling his children after
  • breakfast (of which he partook with a very hearty appetite, though his
  • modest cup of life was only sweetened with brown sugar), he set off in
  • his best Sunday suit and frilled shirt for business, promising his
  • admiring wife not to punish Captain D.'s port too severely that evening.
  • Mr. Osborne's countenance, when he arrived in the City at his usual
  • time, struck those dependants who were accustomed, for good reasons, to
  • watch its expression, as peculiarly ghastly and worn. At twelve
  • o'clock Mr. Higgs (of the firm of Higgs & Blatherwick, solicitors,
  • Bedford Row) called by appointment, and was ushered into the governor's
  • private room, and closeted there for more than an hour. At about one
  • Mr. Chopper received a note brought by Captain Dobbin's man, and
  • containing an inclosure for Mr. Osborne, which the clerk went in and
  • delivered. A short time afterwards Mr. Chopper and Mr. Birch, the next
  • clerk, were summoned, and requested to witness a paper. "I've been
  • making a new will," Mr. Osborne said, to which these gentlemen appended
  • their names accordingly. No conversation passed. Mr. Higgs looked
  • exceedingly grave as he came into the outer rooms, and very hard in Mr.
  • Chopper's face; but there were not any explanations. It was remarked
  • that Mr. Osborne was particularly quiet and gentle all day, to the
  • surprise of those who had augured ill from his darkling demeanour. He
  • called no man names that day, and was not heard to swear once. He left
  • business early; and before going away, summoned his chief clerk once
  • more, and having given him general instructions, asked him, after some
  • seeming hesitation and reluctance to speak, if he knew whether Captain
  • Dobbin was in town?
  • Chopper said he believed he was. Indeed both of them knew the fact
  • perfectly.
  • Osborne took a letter directed to that officer, and giving it to the
  • clerk, requested the latter to deliver it into Dobbin's own hands
  • immediately.
  • "And now, Chopper," says he, taking his hat, and with a strange look,
  • "my mind will be easy." Exactly as the clock struck two (there was no
  • doubt an appointment between the pair) Mr. Frederick Bullock called,
  • and he and Mr. Osborne walked away together.
  • The Colonel of the --th regiment, in which Messieurs Dobbin and Osborne
  • had companies, was an old General who had made his first campaign under
  • Wolfe at Quebec, and was long since quite too old and feeble for
  • command; but he took some interest in the regiment of which he was the
  • nominal head, and made certain of his young officers welcome at his
  • table, a kind of hospitality which I believe is not now common amongst
  • his brethren. Captain Dobbin was an especial favourite of this old
  • General. Dobbin was versed in the literature of his profession, and
  • could talk about the great Frederick, and the Empress Queen, and their
  • wars, almost as well as the General himself, who was indifferent to the
  • triumphs of the present day, and whose heart was with the tacticians of
  • fifty years back. This officer sent a summons to Dobbin to come and
  • breakfast with him, on the morning when Mr. Osborne altered his will
  • and Mr. Chopper put on his best shirt frill, and then informed his
  • young favourite, a couple of days in advance, of that which they were
  • all expecting--a marching order to go to Belgium. The order for the
  • regiment to hold itself in readiness would leave the Horse Guards in a
  • day or two; and as transports were in plenty, they would get their
  • route before the week was over. Recruits had come in during the stay
  • of the regiment at Chatham; and the old General hoped that the regiment
  • which had helped to beat Montcalm in Canada, and to rout Mr. Washington
  • on Long Island, would prove itself worthy of its historical reputation
  • on the oft-trodden battle-grounds of the Low Countries. "And so, my
  • good friend, if you have any affaire la," said the old General, taking a
  • pinch of snuff with his trembling white old hand, and then pointing to
  • the spot of his robe de chambre under which his heart was still feebly
  • beating, "if you have any Phillis to console, or to bid farewell to
  • papa and mamma, or any will to make, I recommend you to set about your
  • business without delay." With which the General gave his young friend a
  • finger to shake, and a good-natured nod of his powdered and pigtailed
  • head; and the door being closed upon Dobbin, sate down to pen a poulet
  • (he was exceedingly vain of his French) to Mademoiselle Amenaide of His
  • Majesty's Theatre.
  • This news made Dobbin grave, and he thought of our friends at Brighton,
  • and then he was ashamed of himself that Amelia was always the first
  • thing in his thoughts (always before anybody--before father and mother,
  • sisters and duty--always at waking and sleeping indeed, and all day
  • long); and returning to his hotel, he sent off a brief note to Mr.
  • Osborne acquainting him with the information which he had received, and
  • which might tend farther, he hoped, to bring about a reconciliation
  • with George.
  • This note, despatched by the same messenger who had carried the
  • invitation to Chopper on the previous day, alarmed the worthy clerk not
  • a little. It was inclosed to him, and as he opened the letter he
  • trembled lest the dinner should be put off on which he was calculating.
  • His mind was inexpressibly relieved when he found that the envelope was
  • only a reminder for himself. ("I shall expect you at half-past five,"
  • Captain Dobbin wrote.) He was very much interested about his employer's
  • family; but, que voulez-vous? a grand dinner was of more concern to him
  • than the affairs of any other mortal.
  • Dobbin was quite justified in repeating the General's information to
  • any officers of the regiment whom he should see in the course of his
  • peregrinations; accordingly he imparted it to Ensign Stubble, whom he
  • met at the agent's, and who--such was his military ardour--went off
  • instantly to purchase a new sword at the accoutrement-maker's. Here
  • this young fellow, who, though only seventeen years of age, and about
  • sixty-five inches high, with a constitution naturally rickety and much
  • impaired by premature brandy and water, had an undoubted courage and a
  • lion's heart, poised, tried, bent, and balanced a weapon such as he
  • thought would do execution amongst Frenchmen. Shouting "Ha, ha!" and
  • stamping his little feet with tremendous energy, he delivered the point
  • twice or thrice at Captain Dobbin, who parried the thrust laughingly
  • with his bamboo walking-stick.
  • Mr. Stubble, as may be supposed from his size and slenderness, was of
  • the Light Bobs. Ensign Spooney, on the contrary, was a tall youth, and
  • belonged to (Captain Dobbin's) the Grenadier Company, and he tried on a
  • new bearskin cap, under which he looked savage beyond his years. Then
  • these two lads went off to the Slaughters', and having ordered a famous
  • dinner, sate down and wrote off letters to the kind anxious parents at
  • home--letters full of love and heartiness, and pluck and bad spelling.
  • Ah! there were many anxious hearts beating through England at that
  • time; and mothers' prayers and tears flowing in many homesteads.
  • Seeing young Stubble engaged in composition at one of the coffee-room
  • tables at the Slaughters', and the tears trickling down his nose on to
  • the paper (for the youngster was thinking of his mamma, and that he
  • might never see her again), Dobbin, who was going to write off a letter
  • to George Osborne, relented, and locked up his desk. "Why should I?"
  • said he. "Let her have this night happy. I'll go and see my parents
  • early in the morning, and go down to Brighton myself to-morrow."
  • So he went up and laid his big hand on young Stubble's shoulder, and
  • backed up that young champion, and told him if he would leave off
  • brandy and water he would be a good soldier, as he always was a
  • gentlemanly good-hearted fellow. Young Stubble's eyes brightened up at
  • this, for Dobbin was greatly respected in the regiment, as the best
  • officer and the cleverest man in it.
  • "Thank you, Dobbin," he said, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles, "I
  • was just--just telling her I would. And, O Sir, she's so dam kind to
  • me." The water pumps were at work again, and I am not sure that the
  • soft-hearted Captain's eyes did not also twinkle.
  • The two ensigns, the Captain, and Mr. Chopper, dined together in the
  • same box. Chopper brought the letter from Mr. Osborne, in which the
  • latter briefly presented his compliments to Captain Dobbin, and
  • requested him to forward the inclosed to Captain George Osborne.
  • Chopper knew nothing further; he described Mr. Osborne's appearance, it
  • is true, and his interview with his lawyer, wondered how the governor
  • had sworn at nobody, and--especially as the wine circled
  • round--abounded in speculations and conjectures. But these grew more
  • vague with every glass, and at length became perfectly unintelligible.
  • At a late hour Captain Dobbin put his guest into a hackney coach, in a
  • hiccupping state, and swearing that he would be the kick--the
  • kick--Captain's friend for ever and ever.
  • When Captain Dobbin took leave of Miss Osborne we have said that he
  • asked leave to come and pay her another visit, and the spinster
  • expected him for some hours the next day, when, perhaps, had he come,
  • and had he asked her that question which she was prepared to answer,
  • she would have declared herself as her brother's friend, and a
  • reconciliation might have been effected between George and his angry
  • father. But though she waited at home the Captain never came. He had
  • his own affairs to pursue; his own parents to visit and console; and at
  • an early hour of the day to take his place on the Lightning coach, and
  • go down to his friends at Brighton. In the course of the day Miss
  • Osborne heard her father give orders that that meddling scoundrel,
  • Captain Dobbin, should never be admitted within his doors again, and
  • any hopes in which she may have indulged privately were thus abruptly
  • brought to an end. Mr. Frederick Bullock came, and was particularly
  • affectionate to Maria, and attentive to the broken-spirited old
  • gentleman. For though he said his mind would be easy, the means which
  • he had taken to secure quiet did not seem to have succeeded as yet, and
  • the events of the past two days had visibly shattered him.
  • CHAPTER XXV
  • In Which All the Principal Personages Think Fit to Leave Brighton
  • Conducted to the ladies, at the Ship Inn, Dobbin assumed a jovial and
  • rattling manner, which proved that this young officer was becoming a
  • more consummate hypocrite every day of his life. He was trying to hide
  • his own private feelings, first upon seeing Mrs. George Osborne in her
  • new condition, and secondly to mask the apprehensions he entertained as
  • to the effect which the dismal news brought down by him would certainly
  • have upon her.
  • "It is my opinion, George," he said, "that the French Emperor will be
  • upon us, horse and foot, before three weeks are over, and will give the
  • Duke such a dance as shall make the Peninsula appear mere child's play.
  • But you need not say that to Mrs. Osborne, you know. There mayn't be
  • any fighting on our side after all, and our business in Belgium may
  • turn out to be a mere military occupation. Many persons think so; and
  • Brussels is full of fine people and ladies of fashion." So it was
  • agreed to represent the duty of the British army in Belgium in this
  • harmless light to Amelia.
  • This plot being arranged, the hypocritical Dobbin saluted Mrs. George
  • Osborne quite gaily, tried to pay her one or two compliments relative
  • to her new position as a bride (which compliments, it must be
  • confessed, were exceedingly clumsy and hung fire woefully), and then
  • fell to talking about Brighton, and the sea-air, and the gaieties of
  • the place, and the beauties of the road and the merits of the Lightning
  • coach and horses--all in a manner quite incomprehensible to Amelia, and
  • very amusing to Rebecca, who was watching the Captain, as indeed she
  • watched every one near whom she came.
  • Little Amelia, it must be owned, had rather a mean opinion of her
  • husband's friend, Captain Dobbin. He lisped--he was very plain and
  • homely-looking: and exceedingly awkward and ungainly. She liked him
  • for his attachment to her husband (to be sure there was very little
  • merit in that), and she thought George was most generous and kind in
  • extending his friendship to his brother officer. George had mimicked
  • Dobbin's lisp and queer manners many times to her, though to do him
  • justice, he always spoke most highly of his friend's good qualities. In
  • her little day of triumph, and not knowing him intimately as yet, she
  • made light of honest William--and he knew her opinions of him quite
  • well, and acquiesced in them very humbly. A time came when she knew
  • him better, and changed her notions regarding him; but that was distant
  • as yet.
  • As for Rebecca, Captain Dobbin had not been two hours in the ladies'
  • company before she understood his secret perfectly. She did not like
  • him, and feared him privately; nor was he very much prepossessed in her
  • favour. He was so honest, that her arts and cajoleries did not affect
  • him, and he shrank from her with instinctive repulsion. And, as she was
  • by no means so far superior to her sex as to be above jealousy, she
  • disliked him the more for his adoration of Amelia. Nevertheless, she
  • was very respectful and cordial in her manner towards him. A friend to
  • the Osbornes! a friend to her dearest benefactors! She vowed she
  • should always love him sincerely: she remembered him quite well on the
  • Vauxhall night, as she told Amelia archly, and she made a little fun of
  • him when the two ladies went to dress for dinner. Rawdon Crawley paid
  • scarcely any attention to Dobbin, looking upon him as a good-natured
  • nincompoop and under-bred City man. Jos patronised him with much
  • dignity.
  • When George and Dobbin were alone in the latter's room, to which George
  • had followed him, Dobbin took from his desk the letter which he had
  • been charged by Mr. Osborne to deliver to his son. "It's not in my
  • father's handwriting," said George, looking rather alarmed; nor was it:
  • the letter was from Mr. Osborne's lawyer, and to the following effect:
  • "Bedford Row, May 7, 1815.
  • "SIR,
  • "I am commissioned by Mr. Osborne to inform you, that he abides by the
  • determination which he before expressed to you, and that in consequence
  • of the marriage which you have been pleased to contract, he ceases to
  • consider you henceforth as a member of his family. This determination
  • is final and irrevocable.
  • "Although the monies expended upon you in your minority, and the bills
  • which you have drawn upon him so unsparingly of late years, far exceed
  • in amount the sum to which you are entitled in your own right (being
  • the third part of the fortune of your mother, the late Mrs. Osborne and
  • which reverted to you at her decease, and to Miss Jane Osborne and Miss
  • Maria Frances Osborne); yet I am instructed by Mr. Osborne to say, that
  • he waives all claim upon your estate, and that the sum of 2,000 pounds,
  • 4 per cent. annuities, at the value of the day (being your one-third
  • share of the sum of 6,000 pounds), shall be paid over to yourself or
  • your agents upon your receipt for the same, by
  • "Your obedient Servt.,
  • "S. HIGGS.
  • "P.S.--Mr. Osborne desires me to say, once for all, that he declines to
  • receive any messages, letters, or communications from you on this or
  • any other subject.
  • "A pretty way you have managed the affair," said George, looking
  • savagely at William Dobbin. "Look there, Dobbin," and he flung over to
  • the latter his parent's letter. "A beggar, by Jove, and all in
  • consequence of my d--d sentimentality. Why couldn't we have waited? A
  • ball might have done for me in the course of the war, and may still,
  • and how will Emmy be bettered by being left a beggar's widow? It was
  • all your doing. You were never easy until you had got me married and
  • ruined. What the deuce am I to do with two thousand pounds? Such a
  • sum won't last two years. I've lost a hundred and forty to Crawley at
  • cards and billiards since I've been down here. A pretty manager of a
  • man's matters YOU are, forsooth."
  • "There's no denying that the position is a hard one," Dobbin replied,
  • after reading over the letter with a blank countenance; "and as you
  • say, it is partly of my making. There are some men who wouldn't mind
  • changing with you," he added, with a bitter smile. "How many captains
  • in the regiment have two thousand pounds to the fore, think you? You
  • must live on your pay till your father relents, and if you die, you
  • leave your wife a hundred a year."
  • "Do you suppose a man of my habits can live on his pay and a hundred a
  • year?" George cried out in great anger. "You must be a fool to talk
  • so, Dobbin. How the deuce am I to keep up my position in the world
  • upon such a pitiful pittance? I can't change my habits. I must have
  • my comforts. I wasn't brought up on porridge, like MacWhirter, or on
  • potatoes, like old O'Dowd. Do you expect my wife to take in soldiers'
  • washing, or ride after the regiment in a baggage waggon?"
  • "Well, well," said Dobbin, still good-naturedly, "we'll get her a
  • better conveyance. But try and remember that you are only a dethroned
  • prince now, George, my boy; and be quiet whilst the tempest lasts. It
  • won't be for long. Let your name be mentioned in the Gazette, and I'll
  • engage the old father relents towards you:"
  • "Mentioned in the Gazette!" George answered. "And in what part of it?
  • Among the killed and wounded returns, and at the top of the list, very
  • likely."
  • "Psha! It will be time enough to cry out when we are hurt," Dobbin
  • said. "And if anything happens, you know, George, I have got a little,
  • and I am not a marrying man, and I shall not forget my godson in my
  • will," he added, with a smile. Whereupon the dispute ended--as many
  • scores of such conversations between Osborne and his friend had
  • concluded previously--by the former declaring there was no possibility
  • of being angry with Dobbin long, and forgiving him very generously
  • after abusing him without cause.
  • "I say, Becky," cried Rawdon Crawley out of his dressing-room, to his
  • lady, who was attiring herself for dinner in her own chamber.
  • "What?" said Becky's shrill voice. She was looking over her shoulder
  • in the glass. She had put on the neatest and freshest white frock
  • imaginable, and with bare shoulders and a little necklace, and a light
  • blue sash, she looked the image of youthful innocence and girlish
  • happiness.
  • "I say, what'll Mrs. O. do, when O. goes out with the regiment?"
  • Crawley said coming into the room, performing a duet on his head with
  • two huge hair-brushes, and looking out from under his hair with
  • admiration on his pretty little wife.
  • "I suppose she'll cry her eyes out," Becky answered. "She has been
  • whimpering half a dozen times, at the very notion of it, already to me."
  • "YOU don't care, I suppose?" Rawdon said, half angry at his wife's want
  • of feeling.
  • "You wretch! don't you know that I intend to go with you," Becky
  • replied. "Besides, you're different. You go as General Tufto's
  • aide-de-camp. We don't belong to the line," Mrs. Crawley said,
  • throwing up her head with an air that so enchanted her husband that he
  • stooped down and kissed it.
  • "Rawdon dear--don't you think--you'd better get that--money from Cupid,
  • before he goes?" Becky continued, fixing on a killing bow. She called
  • George Osborne, Cupid. She had flattered him about his good looks a
  • score of times already. She watched over him kindly at ecarte of a
  • night when he would drop in to Rawdon's quarters for a half-hour before
  • bed-time.
  • She had often called him a horrid dissipated wretch, and threatened to
  • tell Emmy of his wicked ways and naughty extravagant habits. She
  • brought his cigar and lighted it for him; she knew the effect of that
  • manoeuvre, having practised it in former days upon Rawdon Crawley. He
  • thought her gay, brisk, arch, distinguee, delightful. In their little
  • drives and dinners, Becky, of course, quite outshone poor Emmy, who
  • remained very mute and timid while Mrs. Crawley and her husband rattled
  • away together, and Captain Crawley (and Jos after he joined the young
  • married people) gobbled in silence.
  • Emmy's mind somehow misgave her about her friend. Rebecca's wit,
  • spirits, and accomplishments troubled her with a rueful disquiet. They
  • were only a week married, and here was George already suffering ennui,
  • and eager for others' society! She trembled for the future. How shall
  • I be a companion for him, she thought--so clever and so brilliant, and
  • I such a humble foolish creature? How noble it was of him to marry
  • me--to give up everything and stoop down to me! I ought to have
  • refused him, only I had not the heart. I ought to have stopped at home
  • and taken care of poor Papa. And her neglect of her parents (and
  • indeed there was some foundation for this charge which the poor child's
  • uneasy conscience brought against her) was now remembered for the first
  • time, and caused her to blush with humiliation. Oh! thought she, I
  • have been very wicked and selfish--selfish in forgetting them in their
  • sorrows--selfish in forcing George to marry me. I know I'm not worthy
  • of him--I know he would have been happy without me--and yet--I tried, I
  • tried to give him up.
  • It is hard when, before seven days of marriage are over, such thoughts
  • and confessions as these force themselves on a little bride's mind.
  • But so it was, and the night before Dobbin came to join these young
  • people--on a fine brilliant moonlight night of May--so warm and balmy
  • that the windows were flung open to the balcony, from which George and
  • Mrs. Crawley were gazing upon the calm ocean spread shining before
  • them, while Rawdon and Jos were engaged at backgammon within--Amelia
  • couched in a great chair quite neglected, and watching both these
  • parties, felt a despair and remorse such as were bitter companions for
  • that tender lonely soul. Scarce a week was past, and it was come to
  • this! The future, had she regarded it, offered a dismal prospect; but
  • Emmy was too shy, so to speak, to look to that, and embark alone on
  • that wide sea, and unfit to navigate it without a guide and protector.
  • I know Miss Smith has a mean opinion of her. But how many, my dear
  • Madam, are endowed with your prodigious strength of mind?
  • "Gad, what a fine night, and how bright the moon is!" George said, with
  • a puff of his cigar, which went soaring up skywards.
  • "How delicious they smell in the open air! I adore them. Who'd think
  • the moon was two hundred and thirty-six thousand eight hundred and
  • forty-seven miles off?" Becky added, gazing at that orb with a smile.
  • "Isn't it clever of me to remember that? Pooh! we learned it all at
  • Miss Pinkerton's! How calm the sea is, and how clear everything. I
  • declare I can almost see the coast of France!" and her bright green
  • eyes streamed out, and shot into the night as if they could see through
  • it.
  • "Do you know what I intend to do one morning?" she said; "I find I can
  • swim beautifully, and some day, when my Aunt Crawley's companion--old
  • Briggs, you know--you remember her--that hook-nosed woman, with the
  • long wisps of hair--when Briggs goes out to bathe, I intend to dive
  • under her awning, and insist on a reconciliation in the water. Isn't
  • that a stratagem?"
  • George burst out laughing at the idea of this aquatic meeting. "What's
  • the row there, you two?" Rawdon shouted out, rattling the box. Amelia
  • was making a fool of herself in an absurd hysterical manner, and
  • retired to her own room to whimper in private.
  • Our history is destined in this chapter to go backwards and forwards in
  • a very irresolute manner seemingly, and having conducted our story to
  • to-morrow presently, we shall immediately again have occasion to step
  • back to yesterday, so that the whole of the tale may get a hearing. As
  • you behold at her Majesty's drawing-room, the ambassadors' and high
  • dignitaries' carriages whisk off from a private door, while Captain
  • Jones's ladies are waiting for their fly: as you see in the Secretary
  • of the Treasury's antechamber, a half-dozen of petitioners waiting
  • patiently for their audience, and called out one by one, when suddenly
  • an Irish member or some eminent personage enters the apartment, and
  • instantly walks into Mr. Under-Secretary over the heads of all the
  • people present: so in the conduct of a tale, the romancer is obliged to
  • exercise this most partial sort of justice. Although all the little
  • incidents must be heard, yet they must be put off when the great events
  • make their appearance; and surely such a circumstance as that which
  • brought Dobbin to Brighton, viz., the ordering out of the Guards and
  • the line to Belgium, and the mustering of the allied armies in that
  • country under the command of his Grace the Duke of Wellington--such a
  • dignified circumstance as that, I say, was entitled to the pas over all
  • minor occurrences whereof this history is composed mainly, and hence a
  • little trifling disarrangement and disorder was excusable and becoming.
  • We have only now advanced in time so far beyond Chapter XXII as to have
  • got our various characters up into their dressing-rooms before the
  • dinner, which took place as usual on the day of Dobbin's arrival.
  • George was too humane or too much occupied with the tie of his
  • neckcloth to convey at once all the news to Amelia which his comrade
  • had brought with him from London. He came into her room, however,
  • holding the attorney's letter in his hand, and with so solemn and
  • important an air that his wife, always ingeniously on the watch for
  • calamity, thought the worst was about to befall, and running up to her
  • husband, besought her dearest George to tell her everything--he was
  • ordered abroad; there would be a battle next week--she knew there would.
  • Dearest George parried the question about foreign service, and with a
  • melancholy shake of the head said, "No, Emmy; it isn't that: it's not
  • myself I care about: it's you. I have had bad news from my father. He
  • refuses any communication with me; he has flung us off; and leaves us
  • to poverty. I can rough it well enough; but you, my dear, how will you
  • bear it? read here." And he handed her over the letter.
  • Amelia, with a look of tender alarm in her eyes, listened to her noble
  • hero as he uttered the above generous sentiments, and sitting down on
  • the bed, read the letter which George gave her with such a pompous
  • martyr-like air. Her face cleared up as she read the document,
  • however. The idea of sharing poverty and privation in company with the
  • beloved object is, as we have before said, far from being disagreeable
  • to a warm-hearted woman. The notion was actually pleasant to little
  • Amelia. Then, as usual, she was ashamed of herself for feeling happy
  • at such an indecorous moment, and checked her pleasure, saying
  • demurely, "O, George, how your poor heart must bleed at the idea of
  • being separated from your papa!"
  • "It does," said George, with an agonised countenance.
  • "But he can't be angry with you long," she continued. "Nobody could,
  • I'm sure. He must forgive you, my dearest, kindest husband. O, I
  • shall never forgive myself if he does not."
  • "What vexes me, my poor Emmy, is not my misfortune, but yours," George
  • said. "I don't care for a little poverty; and I think, without vanity,
  • I've talents enough to make my own way."
  • "That you have," interposed his wife, who thought that war should
  • cease, and her husband should be made a general instantly.
  • "Yes, I shall make my way as well as another," Osborne went on; "but
  • you, my dear girl, how can I bear your being deprived of the comforts
  • and station in society which my wife had a right to expect? My dearest
  • girl in barracks; the wife of a soldier in a marching regiment; subject
  • to all sorts of annoyance and privation! It makes me miserable."
  • Emmy, quite at ease, as this was her husband's only cause of disquiet,
  • took his hand, and with a radiant face and smile began to warble that
  • stanza from the favourite song of "Wapping Old Stairs," in which the
  • heroine, after rebuking her Tom for inattention, promises "his trousers
  • to mend, and his grog too to make," if he will be constant and kind,
  • and not forsake her. "Besides," she said, after a pause, during which
  • she looked as pretty and happy as any young woman need, "isn't two
  • thousand pounds an immense deal of money, George?"
  • George laughed at her naivete; and finally they went down to dinner,
  • Amelia clinging to George's arm, still warbling the tune of "Wapping
  • Old Stairs," and more pleased and light of mind than she had been for
  • some days past.
  • Thus the repast, which at length came off, instead of being dismal, was
  • an exceedingly brisk and merry one. The excitement of the campaign
  • counteracted in George's mind the depression occasioned by the
  • disinheriting letter. Dobbin still kept up his character of rattle. He
  • amused the company with accounts of the army in Belgium; where nothing
  • but fetes and gaiety and fashion were going on. Then, having a
  • particular end in view, this dexterous captain proceeded to describe
  • Mrs. Major O'Dowd packing her own and her Major's wardrobe, and how his
  • best epaulets had been stowed into a tea canister, whilst her own
  • famous yellow turban, with the bird of paradise wrapped in brown paper,
  • was locked up in the Major's tin cocked-hat case, and wondered what
  • effect it would have at the French king's court at Ghent, or the great
  • military balls at Brussels.
  • "Ghent! Brussels!" cried out Amelia with a sudden shock and start. "Is
  • the regiment ordered away, George--is it ordered away?" A look of
  • terror came over the sweet smiling face, and she clung to George as by
  • an instinct.
  • "Don't be afraid, dear," he said good-naturedly; "it is but a twelve
  • hours' passage. It won't hurt you. You shall go, too, Emmy."
  • "I intend to go," said Becky. "I'm on the staff. General Tufto is a
  • great flirt of mine. Isn't he, Rawdon?" Rawdon laughed out with his
  • usual roar. William Dobbin flushed up quite red. "She can't go," he
  • said; "think of the--of the danger," he was going to add; but had not
  • all his conversation during dinner-time tended to prove there was none?
  • He became very confused and silent.
  • "I must and will go," Amelia cried with the greatest spirit; and
  • George, applauding her resolution, patted her under the chin, and asked
  • all the persons present if they ever saw such a termagant of a wife,
  • and agreed that the lady should bear him company. "We'll have Mrs.
  • O'Dowd to chaperon you," he said. What cared she so long as her
  • husband was near her? Thus somehow the bitterness of a parting was
  • juggled away. Though war and danger were in store, war and danger
  • might not befall for months to come. There was a respite at any rate,
  • which made the timid little Amelia almost as happy as a full reprieve
  • would have done, and which even Dobbin owned in his heart was very
  • welcome. For, to be permitted to see her was now the greatest
  • privilege and hope of his life, and he thought with himself secretly
  • how he would watch and protect her. I wouldn't have let her go if I
  • had been married to her, he thought. But George was the master, and
  • his friend did not think fit to remonstrate.
  • Putting her arm round her friend's waist, Rebecca at length carried
  • Amelia off from the dinner-table where so much business of importance
  • had been discussed, and left the gentlemen in a highly exhilarated
  • state, drinking and talking very gaily.
  • In the course of the evening Rawdon got a little family-note from his
  • wife, which, although he crumpled it up and burnt it instantly in the
  • candle, we had the good luck to read over Rebecca's shoulder. "Great
  • news," she wrote. "Mrs. Bute is gone. Get the money from Cupid
  • tonight, as he'll be off to-morrow most likely. Mind this.--R." So
  • when the little company was about adjourning to coffee in the women's
  • apartment, Rawdon touched Osborne on the elbow, and said gracefully, "I
  • say, Osborne, my boy, if quite convenient, I'll trouble you for that
  • 'ere small trifle." It was not quite convenient, but nevertheless
  • George gave him a considerable present instalment in bank-notes from
  • his pocket-book, and a bill on his agents at a week's date, for the
  • remaining sum.
  • This matter arranged, George, and Jos, and Dobbin, held a council of
  • war over their cigars, and agreed that a general move should be made
  • for London in Jos's open carriage the next day. Jos, I think, would
  • have preferred staying until Rawdon Crawley quitted Brighton, but
  • Dobbin and George overruled him, and he agreed to carry the party to
  • town, and ordered four horses, as became his dignity. With these they
  • set off in state, after breakfast, the next day. Amelia had risen very
  • early in the morning, and packed her little trunks with the greatest
  • alacrity, while Osborne lay in bed deploring that she had not a maid to
  • help her. She was only too glad, however, to perform this office for
  • herself. A dim uneasy sentiment about Rebecca filled her mind already;
  • and although they kissed each other most tenderly at parting, yet we
  • know what jealousy is; and Mrs. Amelia possessed that among other
  • virtues of her sex.
  • Besides these characters who are coming and going away, we must
  • remember that there were some other old friends of ours at Brighton;
  • Miss Crawley, namely, and the suite in attendance upon her. Now,
  • although Rebecca and her husband were but at a few stones' throw of the
  • lodgings which the invalid Miss Crawley occupied, the old lady's door
  • remained as pitilessly closed to them as it had been heretofore in
  • London. As long as she remained by the side of her sister-in-law,
  • Mrs. Bute Crawley took care that her beloved Matilda should not be
  • agitated by a meeting with her nephew. When the spinster took her
  • drive, the faithful Mrs. Bute sate beside her in the carriage. When
  • Miss Crawley took the air in a chair, Mrs. Bute marched on one side of
  • the vehicle, whilst honest Briggs occupied the other wing. And if they
  • met Rawdon and his wife by chance--although the former constantly and
  • obsequiously took off his hat, the Miss-Crawley party passed him by
  • with such a frigid and killing indifference, that Rawdon began to
  • despair.
  • "We might as well be in London as here," Captain Rawdon often said,
  • with a downcast air.
  • "A comfortable inn in Brighton is better than a spunging-house in
  • Chancery Lane," his wife answered, who was of a more cheerful
  • temperament. "Think of those two aides-de-camp of Mr. Moses, the
  • sheriff's-officer, who watched our lodging for a week. Our friends
  • here are very stupid, but Mr. Jos and Captain Cupid are better
  • companions than Mr. Moses's men, Rawdon, my love."
  • "I wonder the writs haven't followed me down here," Rawdon continued,
  • still desponding.
  • "When they do, we'll find means to give them the slip," said dauntless
  • little Becky, and further pointed out to her husband the great comfort
  • and advantage of meeting Jos and Osborne, whose acquaintance had
  • brought to Rawdon Crawley a most timely little supply of ready money.
  • "It will hardly be enough to pay the inn bill," grumbled the Guardsman.
  • "Why need we pay it?" said the lady, who had an answer for everything.
  • Through Rawdon's valet, who still kept up a trifling acquaintance with
  • the male inhabitants of Miss Crawley's servants' hall, and was
  • instructed to treat the coachman to drink whenever they met, old Miss
  • Crawley's movements were pretty well known by our young couple; and
  • Rebecca luckily bethought herself of being unwell, and of calling in
  • the same apothecary who was in attendance upon the spinster, so that
  • their information was on the whole tolerably complete. Nor was Miss
  • Briggs, although forced to adopt a hostile attitude, secretly inimical
  • to Rawdon and his wife. She was naturally of a kindly and forgiving
  • disposition. Now that the cause of jealousy was removed, her dislike
  • for Rebecca disappeared also, and she remembered the latter's
  • invariable good words and good humour. And, indeed, she and Mrs.
  • Firkin, the lady's-maid, and the whole of Miss Crawley's household,
  • groaned under the tyranny of the triumphant Mrs. Bute.
  • As often will be the case, that good but imperious woman pushed her
  • advantages too far, and her successes quite unmercifully. She had in
  • the course of a few weeks brought the invalid to such a state of
  • helpless docility, that the poor soul yielded herself entirely to her
  • sister's orders, and did not even dare to complain of her slavery to
  • Briggs or Firkin. Mrs. Bute measured out the glasses of wine which
  • Miss Crawley was daily allowed to take, with irresistible accuracy,
  • greatly to the annoyance of Firkin and the butler, who found themselves
  • deprived of control over even the sherry-bottle. She apportioned the
  • sweetbreads, jellies, chickens; their quantity and order. Night and
  • noon and morning she brought the abominable drinks ordained by the
  • Doctor, and made her patient swallow them with so affecting an
  • obedience that Firkin said "my poor Missus du take her physic like a
  • lamb." She prescribed the drive in the carriage or the ride in the
  • chair, and, in a word, ground down the old lady in her convalescence in
  • such a way as only belongs to your proper-managing, motherly moral
  • woman. If ever the patient faintly resisted, and pleaded for a little
  • bit more dinner or a little drop less medicine, the nurse threatened
  • her with instantaneous death, when Miss Crawley instantly gave in.
  • "She's no spirit left in her," Firkin remarked to Briggs; "she ain't
  • ave called me a fool these three weeks." Finally, Mrs. Bute had made up
  • her mind to dismiss the aforesaid honest lady's-maid, Mr. Bowls the
  • large confidential man, and Briggs herself, and to send for her
  • daughters from the Rectory, previous to removing the dear invalid
  • bodily to Queen's Crawley, when an odious accident happened which
  • called her away from duties so pleasing. The Reverend Bute Crawley,
  • her husband, riding home one night, fell with his horse and broke his
  • collar-bone. Fever and inflammatory symptoms set in, and Mrs. Bute was
  • forced to leave Sussex for Hampshire. As soon as ever Bute was
  • restored, she promised to return to her dearest friend, and departed,
  • leaving the strongest injunctions with the household regarding their
  • behaviour to their mistress; and as soon as she got into the
  • Southampton coach, there was such a jubilee and sense of relief in all
  • Miss Crawley's house, as the company of persons assembled there had not
  • experienced for many a week before. That very day Miss Crawley left
  • off her afternoon dose of medicine: that afternoon Bowls opened an
  • independent bottle of sherry for himself and Mrs. Firkin: that night
  • Miss Crawley and Miss Briggs indulged in a game of piquet instead of
  • one of Porteus's sermons. It was as in the old nursery-story, when
  • the stick forgot to beat the dog, and the whole course of events
  • underwent a peaceful and happy revolution.
  • At a very early hour in the morning, twice or thrice a week, Miss
  • Briggs used to betake herself to a bathing-machine, and disport in the
  • water in a flannel gown and an oilskin cap. Rebecca, as we have seen,
  • was aware of this circumstance, and though she did not attempt to storm
  • Briggs as she had threatened, and actually dive into that lady's
  • presence and surprise her under the sacredness of the awning, Mrs.
  • Rawdon determined to attack Briggs as she came away from her bath,
  • refreshed and invigorated by her dip, and likely to be in good humour.
  • So getting up very early the next morning, Becky brought the telescope
  • in their sitting-room, which faced the sea, to bear upon the
  • bathing-machines on the beach; saw Briggs arrive, enter her box; and
  • put out to sea; and was on the shore just as the nymph of whom she came
  • in quest stepped out of the little caravan on to the shingles. It was
  • a pretty picture: the beach; the bathing-women's faces; the long line
  • of rocks and building were blushing and bright in the sunshine.
  • Rebecca wore a kind, tender smile on her face, and was holding out her
  • pretty white hand as Briggs emerged from the box. What could Briggs do
  • but accept the salutation?
  • "Miss Sh--Mrs. Crawley," she said.
  • Mrs. Crawley seized her hand, pressed it to her heart, and with a
  • sudden impulse, flinging her arms round Briggs, kissed her
  • affectionately. "Dear, dear friend!" she said, with a touch of such
  • natural feeling, that Miss Briggs of course at once began to melt, and
  • even the bathing-woman was mollified.
  • Rebecca found no difficulty in engaging Briggs in a long, intimate, and
  • delightful conversation. Everything that had passed since the morning
  • of Becky's sudden departure from Miss Crawley's house in Park Lane up
  • to the present day, and Mrs. Bute's happy retreat, was discussed and
  • described by Briggs. All Miss Crawley's symptoms, and the particulars
  • of her illness and medical treatment, were narrated by the confidante
  • with that fulness and accuracy which women delight in. About their
  • complaints and their doctors do ladies ever tire of talking to each
  • other? Briggs did not on this occasion; nor did Rebecca weary of
  • listening. She was thankful, truly thankful, that the dear kind
  • Briggs, that the faithful, the invaluable Firkin, had been permitted to
  • remain with their benefactress through her illness. Heaven bless her!
  • though she, Rebecca, had seemed to act undutifully towards Miss
  • Crawley; yet was not her fault a natural and excusable one? Could she
  • help giving her hand to the man who had won her heart? Briggs, the
  • sentimental, could only turn up her eyes to heaven at this appeal, and
  • heave a sympathetic sigh, and think that she, too, had given away her
  • affections long years ago, and own that Rebecca was no very great
  • criminal.
  • "Can I ever forget her who so befriended the friendless orphan? No,
  • though she has cast me off," the latter said, "I shall never cease to
  • love her, and I would devote my life to her service. As my own
  • benefactress, as my beloved Rawdon's adored relative, I love and admire
  • Miss Crawley, dear Miss Briggs, beyond any woman in the world, and next
  • to her I love all those who are faithful to her. I would never have
  • treated Miss Crawley's faithful friends as that odious designing Mrs.
  • Bute has done. Rawdon, who was all heart," Rebecca continued,
  • "although his outward manners might seem rough and careless, had said a
  • hundred times, with tears in his eyes, that he blessed Heaven for
  • sending his dearest Aunty two such admirable nurses as her attached
  • Firkin and her admirable Miss Briggs. Should the machinations of the
  • horrible Mrs. Bute end, as she too much feared they would, in banishing
  • everybody that Miss Crawley loved from her side, and leaving that poor
  • lady a victim to those harpies at the Rectory, Rebecca besought her
  • (Miss Briggs) to remember that her own home, humble as it was, was
  • always open to receive Briggs. Dear friend," she exclaimed, in a
  • transport of enthusiasm, "some hearts can never forget benefits; all
  • women are not Bute Crawleys! Though why should I complain of her,"
  • Rebecca added; "though I have been her tool and the victim to her arts,
  • do I not owe my dearest Rawdon to her?" And Rebecca unfolded to Briggs
  • all Mrs. Bute's conduct at Queen's Crawley, which, though
  • unintelligible to her then, was clearly enough explained by the events
  • now--now that the attachment had sprung up which Mrs. Bute had
  • encouraged by a thousand artifices--now that two innocent people had
  • fallen into the snares which she had laid for them, and loved and
  • married and been ruined through her schemes.
  • It was all very true. Briggs saw the stratagems as clearly as
  • possible. Mrs. Bute had made the match between Rawdon and Rebecca.
  • Yet, though the latter was a perfectly innocent victim, Miss Briggs
  • could not disguise from her friend her fear that Miss Crawley's
  • affections were hopelessly estranged from Rebecca, and that the old
  • lady would never forgive her nephew for making so imprudent a marriage.
  • On this point Rebecca had her own opinion, and still kept up a good
  • heart. If Miss Crawley did not forgive them at present, she might at
  • least relent on a future day. Even now, there was only that puling,
  • sickly Pitt Crawley between Rawdon and a baronetcy; and should anything
  • happen to the former, all would be well. At all events, to have Mrs.
  • Bute's designs exposed, and herself well abused, was a satisfaction,
  • and might be advantageous to Rawdon's interest; and Rebecca, after an
  • hour's chat with her recovered friend, left her with the most tender
  • demonstrations of regard, and quite assured that the conversation they
  • had had together would be reported to Miss Crawley before many hours
  • were over.
  • This interview ended, it became full time for Rebecca to return to her
  • inn, where all the party of the previous day were assembled at a
  • farewell breakfast. Rebecca took such a tender leave of Amelia as
  • became two women who loved each other as sisters; and having used her
  • handkerchief plentifully, and hung on her friend's neck as if they were
  • parting for ever, and waved the handkerchief (which was quite dry, by
  • the way) out of window, as the carriage drove off, she came back to the
  • breakfast table, and ate some prawns with a good deal of appetite,
  • considering her emotion; and while she was munching these delicacies,
  • explained to Rawdon what had occurred in her morning walk between
  • herself and Briggs. Her hopes were very high: she made her husband
  • share them. She generally succeeded in making her husband share all
  • her opinions, whether melancholy or cheerful.
  • "You will now, if you please, my dear, sit down at the writing-table
  • and pen me a pretty little letter to Miss Crawley, in which you'll say
  • that you are a good boy, and that sort of thing." So Rawdon sate down,
  • and wrote off, "Brighton, Thursday," and "My dear Aunt," with great
  • rapidity: but there the gallant officer's imagination failed him. He
  • mumbled the end of his pen, and looked up in his wife's face. She
  • could not help laughing at his rueful countenance, and marching up and
  • down the room with her hands behind her, the little woman began to
  • dictate a letter, which he took down.
  • "Before quitting the country and commencing a campaign, which very
  • possibly may be fatal."
  • "What?" said Rawdon, rather surprised, but took the humour of the
  • phrase, and presently wrote it down with a grin.
  • "Which very possibly may be fatal, I have come hither--"
  • "Why not say come here, Becky? Come here's grammar," the dragoon
  • interposed.
  • "I have come hither," Rebecca insisted, with a stamp of her foot, "to
  • say farewell to my dearest and earliest friend. I beseech you before I
  • go, not perhaps to return, once more to let me press the hand from
  • which I have received nothing but kindnesses all my life."
  • "Kindnesses all my life," echoed Rawdon, scratching down the words, and
  • quite amazed at his own facility of composition.
  • "I ask nothing from you but that we should part not in anger. I have
  • the pride of my family on some points, though not on all. I married a
  • painter's daughter, and am not ashamed of the union."
  • "No, run me through the body if I am!" Rawdon ejaculated.
  • "You old booby," Rebecca said, pinching his ear and looking over to see
  • that he made no mistakes in spelling--"beseech is not spelt with an a,
  • and earliest is." So he altered these words, bowing to the superior
  • knowledge of his little Missis.
  • "I thought that you were aware of the progress of my attachment,"
  • Rebecca continued: "I knew that Mrs. Bute Crawley confirmed and
  • encouraged it. But I make no reproaches. I married a poor woman, and
  • am content to abide by what I have done. Leave your property, dear
  • Aunt, as you will. I shall never complain of the way in which you
  • dispose of it. I would have you believe that I love you for yourself,
  • and not for money's sake. I want to be reconciled to you ere I leave
  • England. Let me, let me see you before I go. A few weeks or months
  • hence it may be too late, and I cannot bear the notion of quitting the
  • country without a kind word of farewell from you."
  • "She won't recognise my style in that," said Becky. "I made the
  • sentences short and brisk on purpose." And this authentic missive was
  • despatched under cover to Miss Briggs.
  • Old Miss Crawley laughed when Briggs, with great mystery, handed her
  • over this candid and simple statement. "We may read it now Mrs. Bute
  • is away," she said. "Read it to me, Briggs."
  • When Briggs had read the epistle out, her patroness laughed more.
  • "Don't you see, you goose," she said to Briggs, who professed to be
  • much touched by the honest affection which pervaded the composition,
  • "don't you see that Rawdon never wrote a word of it. He never wrote to
  • me without asking for money in his life, and all his letters are full
  • of bad spelling, and dashes, and bad grammar. It is that little
  • serpent of a governess who rules him." They are all alike, Miss Crawley
  • thought in her heart. They all want me dead, and are hankering for my
  • money.
  • "I don't mind seeing Rawdon," she added, after a pause, and in a tone
  • of perfect indifference. "I had just as soon shake hands with him as
  • not. Provided there is no scene, why shouldn't we meet? I don't mind.
  • But human patience has its limits; and mind, my dear, I respectfully
  • decline to receive Mrs. Rawdon--I can't support that quite"--and Miss
  • Briggs was fain to be content with this half-message of conciliation;
  • and thought that the best method of bringing the old lady and her
  • nephew together, was to warn Rawdon to be in waiting on the Cliff, when
  • Miss Crawley went out for her air in her chair. There they met. I
  • don't know whether Miss Crawley had any private feeling of regard or
  • emotion upon seeing her old favourite; but she held out a couple of
  • fingers to him with as smiling and good-humoured an air, as if they had
  • met only the day before. And as for Rawdon, he turned as red as
  • scarlet, and wrung off Briggs's hand, so great was his rapture and his
  • confusion at the meeting. Perhaps it was interest that moved him: or
  • perhaps affection: perhaps he was touched by the change which the
  • illness of the last weeks had wrought in his aunt.
  • "The old girl has always acted like a trump to me," he said to his
  • wife, as he narrated the interview, "and I felt, you know, rather
  • queer, and that sort of thing. I walked by the side of the
  • what-dy'e-call-'em, you know, and to her own door, where Bowls came to help
  • her in. And I wanted to go in very much, only--"
  • "YOU DIDN'T GO IN, Rawdon!" screamed his wife.
  • "No, my dear; I'm hanged if I wasn't afraid when it came to the point."
  • "You fool! you ought to have gone in, and never come out again,"
  • Rebecca said.
  • "Don't call me names," said the big Guardsman, sulkily. "Perhaps I WAS
  • a fool, Becky, but you shouldn't say so"; and he gave his wife a look,
  • such as his countenance could wear when angered, and such as was not
  • pleasant to face.
  • "Well, dearest, to-morrow you must be on the look-out, and go and see
  • her, mind, whether she asks you or no," Rebecca said, trying to soothe
  • her angry yoke-mate. On which he replied, that he would do exactly as
  • he liked, and would just thank her to keep a civil tongue in her
  • head--and the wounded husband went away, and passed the forenoon at the
  • billiard-room, sulky, silent, and suspicious.
  • But before the night was over he was compelled to give in, and own, as
  • usual, to his wife's superior prudence and foresight, by the most
  • melancholy confirmation of the presentiments which she had regarding
  • the consequences of the mistake which he had made. Miss Crawley must
  • have had some emotion upon seeing him and shaking hands with him after
  • so long a rupture. She mused upon the meeting a considerable time.
  • "Rawdon is getting very fat and old, Briggs," she said to her
  • companion. "His nose has become red, and he is exceedingly coarse in
  • appearance. His marriage to that woman has hopelessly vulgarised him.
  • Mrs. Bute always said they drank together; and I have no doubt they do.
  • Yes: he smelt of gin abominably. I remarked it. Didn't you?"
  • In vain Briggs interposed that Mrs. Bute spoke ill of everybody: and,
  • as far as a person in her humble position could judge, was an--
  • "An artful designing woman? Yes, so she is, and she does speak ill of
  • every one--but I am certain that woman has made Rawdon drink. All those
  • low people do--"
  • "He was very much affected at seeing you, ma'am," the companion said;
  • "and I am sure, when you remember that he is going to the field of
  • danger--"
  • "How much money has he promised you, Briggs?" the old spinster cried
  • out, working herself into a nervous rage--"there now, of course you
  • begin to cry. I hate scenes. Why am I always to be worried? Go and
  • cry up in your own room, and send Firkin to me--no, stop, sit down and
  • blow your nose, and leave off crying, and write a letter to Captain
  • Crawley." Poor Briggs went and placed herself obediently at the
  • writing-book. Its leaves were blotted all over with relics of the
  • firm, strong, rapid handwriting of the spinster's late amanuensis, Mrs.
  • Bute Crawley.
  • "Begin 'My dear sir,' or 'Dear sir,' that will be better, and say you
  • are desired by Miss Crawley--no, by Miss Crawley's medical man, by Mr.
  • Creamer, to state that my health is such that all strong emotions would
  • be dangerous in my present delicate condition--and that I must decline
  • any family discussions or interviews whatever. And thank him for coming
  • to Brighton, and so forth, and beg him not to stay any longer on my
  • account. And, Miss Briggs, you may add that I wish him a bon voyage,
  • and that if he will take the trouble to call upon my lawyer's in Gray's
  • Inn Square, he will find there a communication for him. Yes, that will
  • do; and that will make him leave Brighton." The benevolent Briggs
  • penned this sentence with the utmost satisfaction.
  • "To seize upon me the very day after Mrs. Bute was gone," the old lady
  • prattled on; "it was too indecent. Briggs, my dear, write to Mrs.
  • Crawley, and say SHE needn't come back. No--she needn't--and she
  • shan't--and I won't be a slave in my own house--and I won't be starved
  • and choked with poison. They all want to kill me--all--all"--and with
  • this the lonely old woman burst into a scream of hysterical tears.
  • The last scene of her dismal Vanity Fair comedy was fast approaching;
  • the tawdry lamps were going out one by one; and the dark curtain was
  • almost ready to descend.
  • That final paragraph, which referred Rawdon to Miss Crawley's solicitor
  • in London, and which Briggs had written so good-naturedly, consoled the
  • dragoon and his wife somewhat, after their first blank disappointment,
  • on reading the spinster's refusal of a reconciliation. And it effected
  • the purpose for which the old lady had caused it to be written, by
  • making Rawdon very eager to get to London.
  • Out of Jos's losings and George Osborne's bank-notes, he paid his bill
  • at the inn, the landlord whereof does not probably know to this day how
  • doubtfully his account once stood. For, as a general sends his baggage
  • to the rear before an action, Rebecca had wisely packed up all their
  • chief valuables and sent them off under care of George's servant, who
  • went in charge of the trunks on the coach back to London. Rawdon and
  • his wife returned by the same conveyance next day.
  • "I should have liked to see the old girl before we went," Rawdon said.
  • "She looks so cut up and altered that I'm sure she can't last long. I
  • wonder what sort of a cheque I shall have at Waxy's. Two hundred--it
  • can't be less than two hundred--hey, Becky?"
  • In consequence of the repeated visits of the aides-de-camp of the
  • Sheriff of Middlesex, Rawdon and his wife did not go back to their
  • lodgings at Brompton, but put up at an inn. Early the next morning,
  • Rebecca had an opportunity of seeing them as she skirted that suburb on
  • her road to old Mrs. Sedley's house at Fulham, whither she went to look
  • for her dear Amelia and her Brighton friends. They were all off to
  • Chatham, thence to Harwich, to take shipping for Belgium with the
  • regiment--kind old Mrs. Sedley very much depressed and tearful,
  • solitary. Returning from this visit, Rebecca found her husband, who
  • had been off to Gray's Inn, and learnt his fate. He came back furious.
  • "By Jove, Becky," says he, "she's only given me twenty pound!"
  • Though it told against themselves, the joke was too good, and Becky
  • burst out laughing at Rawdon's discomfiture.
  • CHAPTER XXVI
  • Between London and Chatham
  • On quitting Brighton, our friend George, as became a person of rank and
  • fashion travelling in a barouche with four horses, drove in state to a
  • fine hotel in Cavendish Square, where a suite of splendid rooms, and a
  • table magnificently furnished with plate and surrounded by a half-dozen
  • of black and silent waiters, was ready to receive the young gentleman
  • and his bride. George did the honours of the place with a princely air
  • to Jos and Dobbin; and Amelia, for the first time, and with exceeding
  • shyness and timidity, presided at what George called her own table.
  • George pooh-poohed the wine and bullied the waiters royally, and Jos
  • gobbled the turtle with immense satisfaction. Dobbin helped him to it;
  • for the lady of the house, before whom the tureen was placed, was so
  • ignorant of the contents, that she was going to help Mr. Sedley without
  • bestowing upon him either calipash or calipee.
  • The splendour of the entertainment, and the apartments in which it was
  • given, alarmed Mr. Dobbin, who remonstrated after dinner, when Jos was
  • asleep in the great chair. But in vain he cried out against the
  • enormity of turtle and champagne that was fit for an archbishop. "I've
  • always been accustomed to travel like a gentleman," George said, "and,
  • damme, my wife shall travel like a lady. As long as there's a shot in
  • the locker, she shall want for nothing," said the generous fellow,
  • quite pleased with himself for his magnificence of spirit. Nor did
  • Dobbin try and convince him that Amelia's happiness was not centred in
  • turtle-soup.
  • A while after dinner, Amelia timidly expressed a wish to go and see her
  • mamma, at Fulham: which permission George granted her with some
  • grumbling. And she tripped away to her enormous bedroom, in the centre
  • of which stood the enormous funereal bed, "that the Emperor
  • Halixander's sister slep in when the allied sufferings was here," and
  • put on her little bonnet and shawl with the utmost eagerness and
  • pleasure. George was still drinking claret when she returned to the
  • dining-room, and made no signs of moving. "Ar'n't you coming with me,
  • dearest?" she asked him. No; the "dearest" had "business" that night.
  • His man should get her a coach and go with her. And the coach being at
  • the door of the hotel, Amelia made George a little disappointed curtsey
  • after looking vainly into his face once or twice, and went sadly down
  • the great staircase, Captain Dobbin after, who handed her into the
  • vehicle, and saw it drive away to its destination. The very valet was
  • ashamed of mentioning the address to the hackney-coachman before the
  • hotel waiters, and promised to instruct him when they got further on.
  • Dobbin walked home to his old quarters and the Slaughters', thinking
  • very likely that it would be delightful to be in that hackney-coach,
  • along with Mrs. Osborne. George was evidently of quite a different
  • taste; for when he had taken wine enough, he went off to half-price at
  • the play, to see Mr. Kean perform in Shylock. Captain Osborne was a
  • great lover of the drama, and had himself performed high-comedy
  • characters with great distinction in several garrison theatrical
  • entertainments. Jos slept on until long after dark, when he woke up
  • with a start at the motions of his servant, who was removing and
  • emptying the decanters on the table; and the hackney-coach stand was
  • again put into requisition for a carriage to convey this stout hero to
  • his lodgings and bed.
  • Mrs. Sedley, you may be sure, clasped her daughter to her heart with
  • all maternal eagerness and affection, running out of the door as the
  • carriage drew up before the little garden-gate, to welcome the weeping,
  • trembling, young bride. Old Mr. Clapp, who was in his shirt-sleeves,
  • trimming the garden-plot, shrank back alarmed. The Irish servant-lass
  • rushed up from the kitchen and smiled a "God bless you." Amelia could
  • hardly walk along the flags and up the steps into the parlour.
  • How the floodgates were opened, and mother and daughter wept, when they
  • were together embracing each other in this sanctuary, may readily be
  • imagined by every reader who possesses the least sentimental turn.
  • When don't ladies weep? At what occasion of joy, sorrow, or other
  • business of life, and, after such an event as a marriage, mother and
  • daughter were surely at liberty to give way to a sensibility which is
  • as tender as it is refreshing. About a question of marriage I have seen
  • women who hate each other kiss and cry together quite fondly. How much
  • more do they feel when they love! Good mothers are married over again
  • at their daughters' weddings: and as for subsequent events, who does
  • not know how ultra-maternal grandmothers are?--in fact a woman, until
  • she is a grandmother, does not often really know what to be a mother
  • is. Let us respect Amelia and her mamma whispering and whimpering and
  • laughing and crying in the parlour and the twilight. Old Mr. Sedley
  • did. HE had not divined who was in the carriage when it drove up. He
  • had not flown out to meet his daughter, though he kissed her very
  • warmly when she entered the room (where he was occupied, as usual, with
  • his papers and tapes and statements of accounts), and after sitting
  • with the mother and daughter for a short time, he very wisely left the
  • little apartment in their possession.
  • George's valet was looking on in a very supercilious manner at Mr.
  • Clapp in his shirt-sleeves, watering his rose-bushes. He took off his
  • hat, however, with much condescension to Mr. Sedley, who asked news
  • about his son-in-law, and about Jos's carriage, and whether his horses
  • had been down to Brighton, and about that infernal traitor Bonaparty,
  • and the war; until the Irish maid-servant came with a plate and a
  • bottle of wine, from which the old gentleman insisted upon helping the
  • valet. He gave him a half-guinea too, which the servant pocketed with
  • a mixture of wonder and contempt. "To the health of your master and
  • mistress, Trotter," Mr. Sedley said, "and here's something to drink
  • your health when you get home, Trotter."
  • There were but nine days past since Amelia had left that little cottage
  • and home--and yet how far off the time seemed since she had bidden it
  • farewell. What a gulf lay between her and that past life. She could
  • look back to it from her present standing-place, and contemplate,
  • almost as another being, the young unmarried girl absorbed in her love,
  • having no eyes but for one special object, receiving parental affection
  • if not ungratefully, at least indifferently, and as if it were her
  • due--her whole heart and thoughts bent on the accomplishment of one
  • desire. The review of those days, so lately gone yet so far away,
  • touched her with shame; and the aspect of the kind parents filled her
  • with tender remorse. Was the prize gained--the heaven of life--and the
  • winner still doubtful and unsatisfied? As his hero and heroine pass
  • the matrimonial barrier, the novelist generally drops the curtain, as
  • if the drama were over then: the doubts and struggles of life ended:
  • as if, once landed in the marriage country, all were green and pleasant
  • there: and wife and husband had nothing to do but to link each other's
  • arms together, and wander gently downwards towards old age in happy and
  • perfect fruition. But our little Amelia was just on the bank of her
  • new country, and was already looking anxiously back towards the sad
  • friendly figures waving farewell to her across the stream, from the
  • other distant shore.
  • In honour of the young bride's arrival, her mother thought it necessary
  • to prepare I don't know what festive entertainment, and after the first
  • ebullition of talk, took leave of Mrs. George Osborne for a while, and
  • dived down to the lower regions of the house to a sort of
  • kitchen-parlour (occupied by Mr. and Mrs. Clapp, and in the evening,
  • when her dishes were washed and her curl-papers removed, by Miss
  • Flannigan, the Irish servant), there to take measures for the preparing
  • of a magnificent ornamented tea. All people have their ways of
  • expressing kindness, and it seemed to Mrs. Sedley that a muffin and a
  • quantity of orange marmalade spread out in a little cut-glass saucer
  • would be peculiarly agreeable refreshments to Amelia in her most
  • interesting situation.
  • While these delicacies were being transacted below, Amelia, leaving the
  • drawing-room, walked upstairs and found herself, she scarce knew how,
  • in the little room which she had occupied before her marriage, and in
  • that very chair in which she had passed so many bitter hours. She sank
  • back in its arms as if it were an old friend; and fell to thinking over
  • the past week, and the life beyond it. Already to be looking sadly and
  • vaguely back: always to be pining for something which, when obtained,
  • brought doubt and sadness rather than pleasure; here was the lot of our
  • poor little creature and harmless lost wanderer in the great struggling
  • crowds of Vanity Fair.
  • Here she sate, and recalled to herself fondly that image of George to
  • which she had knelt before marriage. Did she own to herself how
  • different the real man was from that superb young hero whom she had
  • worshipped? It requires many, many years--and a man must be very bad
  • indeed--before a woman's pride and vanity will let her own to such a
  • confession. Then Rebecca's twinkling green eyes and baleful smile
  • lighted upon her, and filled her with dismay. And so she sate for
  • awhile indulging in her usual mood of selfish brooding, in that very
  • listless melancholy attitude in which the honest maid-servant had found
  • her, on the day when she brought up the letter in which George renewed
  • his offer of marriage.
  • She looked at the little white bed, which had been hers a few days
  • before, and thought she would like to sleep in it that night, and wake,
  • as formerly, with her mother smiling over her in the morning: Then she
  • thought with terror of the great funereal damask pavilion in the vast
  • and dingy state bedroom, which was awaiting her at the grand hotel in
  • Cavendish Square. Dear little white bed! how many a long night had she
  • wept on its pillow! How she had despaired and hoped to die there; and
  • now were not all her wishes accomplished, and the lover of whom she had
  • despaired her own for ever? Kind mother! how patiently and tenderly
  • she had watched round that bed! She went and knelt down by the bedside;
  • and there this wounded and timorous, but gentle and loving soul, sought
  • for consolation, where as yet, it must be owned, our little girl had
  • but seldom looked for it. Love had been her faith hitherto; and the
  • sad, bleeding disappointed heart began to feel the want of another
  • consoler.
  • Have we a right to repeat or to overhear her prayers? These, brother,
  • are secrets, and out of the domain of Vanity Fair, in which our story
  • lies.
  • But this may be said, that when the tea was finally announced, our
  • young lady came downstairs a great deal more cheerful; that she did not
  • despond, or deplore her fate, or think about George's coldness, or
  • Rebecca's eyes, as she had been wont to do of late. She went
  • downstairs, and kissed her father and mother, and talked to the old
  • gentleman, and made him more merry than he had been for many a day. She
  • sate down at the piano which Dobbin had bought for her, and sang over
  • all her father's favourite old songs. She pronounced the tea to be
  • excellent, and praised the exquisite taste in which the marmalade was
  • arranged in the saucers. And in determining to make everybody else
  • happy, she found herself so; and was sound asleep in the great funereal
  • pavilion, and only woke up with a smile when George arrived from the
  • theatre.
  • For the next day, George had more important "business" to transact than
  • that which took him to see Mr. Kean in Shylock. Immediately on his
  • arrival in London he had written off to his father's solicitors,
  • signifying his royal pleasure that an interview should take place
  • between them on the morrow. His hotel bill, losses at billiards and
  • cards to Captain Crawley had almost drained the young man's purse,
  • which wanted replenishing before he set out on his travels, and he had
  • no resource but to infringe upon the two thousand pounds which the
  • attorneys were commissioned to pay over to him. He had a perfect
  • belief in his own mind that his father would relent before very long.
  • How could any parent be obdurate for a length of time against such a
  • paragon as he was? If his mere past and personal merits did not
  • succeed in mollifying his father, George determined that he would
  • distinguish himself so prodigiously in the ensuing campaign that the
  • old gentleman must give in to him. And if not? Bah! the world was
  • before him. His luck might change at cards, and there was a deal of
  • spending in two thousand pounds.
  • So he sent off Amelia once more in a carriage to her mamma, with strict
  • orders and carte blanche to the two ladies to purchase everything
  • requisite for a lady of Mrs. George Osborne's fashion, who was going on
  • a foreign tour. They had but one day to complete the outfit, and it
  • may be imagined that their business therefore occupied them pretty
  • fully. In a carriage once more, bustling about from milliner to
  • linen-draper, escorted back to the carriage by obsequious shopmen or
  • polite owners, Mrs. Sedley was herself again almost, and sincerely
  • happy for the first time since their misfortunes. Nor was Mrs. Amelia
  • at all above the pleasure of shopping, and bargaining, and seeing and
  • buying pretty things. (Would any man, the most philosophic, give
  • twopence for a woman who was?) She gave herself a little treat,
  • obedient to her husband's orders, and purchased a quantity of lady's
  • gear, showing a great deal of taste and elegant discernment, as all the
  • shopfolks said.
  • And about the war that was ensuing, Mrs. Osborne was not much alarmed;
  • Bonaparty was to be crushed almost without a struggle. Margate packets
  • were sailing every day, filled with men of fashion and ladies of note,
  • on their way to Brussels and Ghent. People were going not so much to a
  • war as to a fashionable tour. The newspapers laughed the wretched
  • upstart and swindler to scorn. Such a Corsican wretch as that
  • withstand the armies of Europe and the genius of the immortal
  • Wellington! Amelia held him in utter contempt; for it needs not to be
  • said that this soft and gentle creature took her opinions from those
  • people who surrounded her, such fidelity being much too humble-minded
  • to think for itself. Well, in a word, she and her mother performed a
  • great day's shopping, and she acquitted herself with considerable
  • liveliness and credit on this her first appearance in the genteel world
  • of London.
  • George meanwhile, with his hat on one side, his elbows squared, and his
  • swaggering martial air, made for Bedford Row, and stalked into the
  • attorney's offices as if he was lord of every pale-faced clerk who was
  • scribbling there. He ordered somebody to inform Mr. Higgs that Captain
  • Osborne was waiting, in a fierce and patronizing way, as if the pekin
  • of an attorney, who had thrice his brains, fifty times his money, and a
  • thousand times his experience, was a wretched underling who should
  • instantly leave all his business in life to attend on the Captain's
  • pleasure. He did not see the sneer of contempt which passed all round
  • the room, from the first clerk to the articled gents, from the articled
  • gents to the ragged writers and white-faced runners, in clothes too
  • tight for them, as he sate there tapping his boot with his cane, and
  • thinking what a parcel of miserable poor devils these were. The
  • miserable poor devils knew all about his affairs. They talked about
  • them over their pints of beer at their public-house clubs to other
  • clerks of a night. Ye gods, what do not attorneys and attorneys' clerks
  • know in London! Nothing is hidden from their inquisition, and their
  • families mutely rule our city.
  • Perhaps George expected, when he entered Mr. Higgs's apartment, to find
  • that gentleman commissioned to give him some message of compromise or
  • conciliation from his father; perhaps his haughty and cold demeanour
  • was adopted as a sign of his spirit and resolution: but if so, his
  • fierceness was met by a chilling coolness and indifference on the
  • attorney's part, that rendered swaggering absurd. He pretended to be
  • writing at a paper, when the Captain entered. "Pray, sit down, sir,"
  • said he, "and I will attend to your little affair in a moment. Mr.
  • Poe, get the release papers, if you please"; and then he fell to
  • writing again.
  • Poe having produced those papers, his chief calculated the amount of
  • two thousand pounds stock at the rate of the day; and asked Captain
  • Osborne whether he would take the sum in a cheque upon the bankers, or
  • whether he should direct the latter to purchase stock to that amount.
  • "One of the late Mrs. Osborne's trustees is out of town," he said
  • indifferently, "but my client wishes to meet your wishes, and have done
  • with the business as quick as possible."
  • "Give me a cheque, sir," said the Captain very surlily. "Damn the
  • shillings and halfpence, sir," he added, as the lawyer was making out
  • the amount of the draft; and, flattering himself that by this stroke of
  • magnanimity he had put the old quiz to the blush, he stalked out of the
  • office with the paper in his pocket.
  • "That chap will be in gaol in two years," Mr. Higgs said to Mr. Poe.
  • "Won't O. come round, sir, don't you think?"
  • "Won't the monument come round," Mr. Higgs replied.
  • "He's going it pretty fast," said the clerk. "He's only married a
  • week, and I saw him and some other military chaps handing Mrs.
  • Highflyer to her carriage after the play." And then another case was
  • called, and Mr. George Osborne thenceforth dismissed from these worthy
  • gentlemen's memory.
  • The draft was upon our friends Hulker and Bullock of Lombard Street, to
  • whose house, still thinking he was doing business, George bent his way,
  • and from whom he received his money. Frederick Bullock, Esq., whose
  • yellow face was over a ledger, at which sate a demure clerk, happened
  • to be in the banking-room when George entered. His yellow face turned
  • to a more deadly colour when he saw the Captain, and he slunk back
  • guiltily into the inmost parlour. George was too busy gloating over
  • the money (for he had never had such a sum before), to mark the
  • countenance or flight of the cadaverous suitor of his sister.
  • Fred Bullock told old Osborne of his son's appearance and conduct. "He
  • came in as bold as brass," said Frederick. "He has drawn out every
  • shilling. How long will a few hundred pounds last such a chap as
  • that?" Osborne swore with a great oath that he little cared when or how
  • soon he spent it. Fred dined every day in Russell Square now. But
  • altogether, George was highly pleased with his day's business. All his
  • own baggage and outfit was put into a state of speedy preparation, and
  • he paid Amelia's purchases with cheques on his agents, and with the
  • splendour of a lord.
  • CHAPTER XXVII
  • In Which Amelia Joins Her Regiment
  • When Jos's fine carriage drove up to the inn door at Chatham, the first
  • face which Amelia recognized was the friendly countenance of Captain
  • Dobbin, who had been pacing the street for an hour past in expectation
  • of his friends' arrival. The Captain, with shells on his frockcoat,
  • and a crimson sash and sabre, presented a military appearance, which
  • made Jos quite proud to be able to claim such an acquaintance, and the
  • stout civilian hailed him with a cordiality very different from the
  • reception which Jos vouchsafed to his friend in Brighton and Bond
  • Street.
  • Along with the Captain was Ensign Stubble; who, as the barouche neared
  • the inn, burst out with an exclamation of "By Jove! what a pretty
  • girl"; highly applauding Osborne's choice. Indeed, Amelia dressed in
  • her wedding-pelisse and pink ribbons, with a flush in her face,
  • occasioned by rapid travel through the open air, looked so fresh and
  • pretty, as fully to justify the Ensign's compliment. Dobbin liked him
  • for making it. As he stepped forward to help the lady out of the
  • carriage, Stubble saw what a pretty little hand she gave him, and what
  • a sweet pretty little foot came tripping down the step. He blushed
  • profusely, and made the very best bow of which he was capable; to which
  • Amelia, seeing the number of the the regiment embroidered on the
  • Ensign's cap, replied with a blushing smile, and a curtsey on her part;
  • which finished the young Ensign on the spot. Dobbin took most kindly to
  • Mr. Stubble from that day, and encouraged him to talk about Amelia in
  • their private walks, and at each other's quarters. It became the
  • fashion, indeed, among all the honest young fellows of the --th to
  • adore and admire Mrs. Osborne. Her simple artless behaviour, and
  • modest kindness of demeanour, won all their unsophisticated hearts; all
  • which simplicity and sweetness are quite impossible to describe in
  • print. But who has not beheld these among women, and recognised the
  • presence of all sorts of qualities in them, even though they say no
  • more to you than that they are engaged to dance the next quadrille, or
  • that it is very hot weather? George, always the champion of his
  • regiment, rose immensely in the opinion of the youth of the corps, by
  • his gallantry in marrying this portionless young creature, and by his
  • choice of such a pretty kind partner.
  • In the sitting-room which was awaiting the travellers, Amelia, to her
  • surprise, found a letter addressed to Mrs. Captain Osborne. It was a
  • triangular billet, on pink paper, and sealed with a dove and an olive
  • branch, and a profusion of light blue sealing wax, and it was written
  • in a very large, though undecided female hand.
  • "It's Peggy O'Dowd's fist," said George, laughing. "I know it by the
  • kisses on the seal." And in fact, it was a note from Mrs. Major O'Dowd,
  • requesting the pleasure of Mrs. Osborne's company that very evening to
  • a small friendly party. "You must go," George said. "You will make
  • acquaintance with the regiment there. O'Dowd goes in command of the
  • regiment, and Peggy goes in command."
  • But they had not been for many minutes in the enjoyment of Mrs.
  • O'Dowd's letter, when the door was flung open, and a stout jolly lady,
  • in a riding-habit, followed by a couple of officers of Ours, entered
  • the room.
  • "Sure, I couldn't stop till tay-time. Present me, Garge, my dear
  • fellow, to your lady. Madam, I'm deloighted to see ye; and to present
  • to you me husband, Meejor O'Dowd"; and with this, the jolly lady in the
  • riding-habit grasped Amelia's hand very warmly, and the latter knew at
  • once that the lady was before her whom her husband had so often laughed
  • at. "You've often heard of me from that husband of yours," said the
  • lady, with great vivacity.
  • "You've often heard of her," echoed her husband, the Major.
  • Amelia answered, smiling, "that she had."
  • "And small good he's told you of me," Mrs. O'Dowd replied; adding that
  • "George was a wicked divvle."
  • "That I'll go bail for," said the Major, trying to look knowing, at
  • which George laughed; and Mrs. O'Dowd, with a tap of her whip, told the
  • Major to be quiet; and then requested to be presented in form to Mrs.
  • Captain Osborne.
  • "This, my dear," said George with great gravity, "is my very good,
  • kind, and excellent friend, Auralia Margaretta, otherwise called Peggy."
  • "Faith, you're right," interposed the Major.
  • "Otherwise called Peggy, lady of Major Michael O'Dowd, of our regiment,
  • and daughter of Fitzjurld Ber'sford de Burgo Malony of Glenmalony,
  • County Kildare."
  • "And Muryan Squeer, Doblin," said the lady with calm superiority.
  • "And Muryan Square, sure enough," the Major whispered.
  • "'Twas there ye coorted me, Meejor dear," the lady said; and the Major
  • assented to this as to every other proposition which was made generally
  • in company.
  • Major O'Dowd, who had served his sovereign in every quarter of the
  • world, and had paid for every step in his profession by some more than
  • equivalent act of daring and gallantry, was the most modest, silent,
  • sheep-faced and meek of little men, and as obedient to his wife as if
  • he had been her tay-boy. At the mess-table he sat silently, and drank
  • a great deal. When full of liquor, he reeled silently home. When he
  • spoke, it was to agree with everybody on every conceivable point; and
  • he passed through life in perfect ease and good-humour. The hottest
  • suns of India never heated his temper; and the Walcheren ague never
  • shook it. He walked up to a battery with just as much indifference as
  • to a dinner-table; had dined on horse-flesh and turtle with equal
  • relish and appetite; and had an old mother, Mrs. O'Dowd of O'Dowdstown
  • indeed, whom he had never disobeyed but when he ran away and enlisted,
  • and when he persisted in marrying that odious Peggy Malony.
  • Peggy was one of five sisters, and eleven children of the noble house
  • of Glenmalony; but her husband, though her own cousin, was of the
  • mother's side, and so had not the inestimable advantage of being allied
  • to the Malonys, whom she believed to be the most famous family in the
  • world. Having tried nine seasons at Dublin and two at Bath and
  • Cheltenham, and not finding a partner for life, Miss Malony ordered her
  • cousin Mick to marry her when she was about thirty-three years of age;
  • and the honest fellow obeying, carried her off to the West Indies, to
  • preside over the ladies of the --th regiment, into which he had just
  • exchanged.
  • Before Mrs. O'Dowd was half an hour in Amelia's (or indeed in anybody
  • else's) company, this amiable lady told all her birth and pedigree to
  • her new friend. "My dear," said she, good-naturedly, "it was my
  • intention that Garge should be a brother of my own, and my sister
  • Glorvina would have suited him entirely. But as bygones are bygones,
  • and he was engaged to yourself, why, I'm determined to take you as a
  • sister instead, and to look upon you as such, and to love you as one of
  • the family. Faith, you've got such a nice good-natured face and way
  • widg you, that I'm sure we'll agree; and that you'll be an addition to
  • our family anyway."
  • "'Deed and she will," said O'Dowd, with an approving air, and Amelia
  • felt herself not a little amused and grateful to be thus suddenly
  • introduced to so large a party of relations.
  • "We're all good fellows here," the Major's lady continued. "There's not
  • a regiment in the service where you'll find a more united society nor a
  • more agreeable mess-room. There's no quarrelling, bickering,
  • slandthering, nor small talk amongst us. We all love each other."
  • "Especially Mrs. Magenis," said George, laughing.
  • "Mrs. Captain Magenis and me has made up, though her treatment of me
  • would bring me gray hairs with sorrow to the grave."
  • "And you with such a beautiful front of black, Peggy, my dear," the
  • Major cried.
  • "Hould your tongue, Mick, you booby. Them husbands are always in the
  • way, Mrs. Osborne, my dear; and as for my Mick, I often tell him he
  • should never open his mouth but to give the word of command, or to put
  • meat and drink into it. I'll tell you about the regiment, and warn you
  • when we're alone. Introduce me to your brother now; sure he's a mighty
  • fine man, and reminds me of me cousin, Dan Malony (Malony of
  • Ballymalony, my dear, you know who mar'ied Ophalia Scully, of
  • Oystherstown, own cousin to Lord Poldoody). Mr. Sedley, sir, I'm
  • deloighted to be made known te ye. I suppose you'll dine at the mess
  • to-day. (Mind that divvle of a docther, Mick, and whatever ye du, keep
  • yourself sober for me party this evening.)"
  • "It's the 150th gives us a farewell dinner, my love," interposed the
  • Major, "but we'll easy get a card for Mr. Sedley."
  • "Run Simple (Ensign Simple, of Ours, my dear Amelia. I forgot to
  • introjuice him to ye). Run in a hurry, with Mrs. Major O'Dowd's
  • compliments to Colonel Tavish, and Captain Osborne has brought his
  • brothernlaw down, and will bring him to the 150th mess at five o'clock
  • sharp--when you and I, my dear, will take a snack here, if you like."
  • Before Mrs. O'Dowd's speech was concluded, the young Ensign was
  • trotting downstairs on his commission.
  • "Obedience is the soul of the army. We will go to our duty while Mrs.
  • O'Dowd will stay and enlighten you, Emmy," Captain Osborne said; and
  • the two gentlemen, taking each a wing of the Major, walked out with
  • that officer, grinning at each other over his head.
  • And, now having her new friend to herself, the impetuous Mrs. O'Dowd
  • proceeded to pour out such a quantity of information as no poor little
  • woman's memory could ever tax itself to bear. She told Amelia a
  • thousand particulars relative to the very numerous family of which the
  • amazed young lady found herself a member. "Mrs. Heavytop, the
  • Colonel's wife, died in Jamaica of the yellow faver and a broken heart
  • comboined, for the horrud old Colonel, with a head as bald as a
  • cannon-ball, was making sheep's eyes at a half-caste girl there. Mrs.
  • Magenis, though without education, was a good woman, but she had the
  • divvle's tongue, and would cheat her own mother at whist. Mrs. Captain
  • Kirk must turn up her lobster eyes forsooth at the idea of an honest
  • round game (wherein me fawther, as pious a man as ever went to church,
  • me uncle Dane Malony, and our cousin the Bishop, took a hand at loo, or
  • whist, every night of their lives). Nayther of 'em's goin' with the
  • regiment this time," Mrs. O'Dowd added. "Fanny Magenis stops with her
  • mother, who sells small coal and potatoes, most likely, in
  • Islington-town, hard by London, though she's always bragging of her
  • father's ships, and pointing them out to us as they go up the river:
  • and Mrs. Kirk and her children will stop here in Bethesda Place, to be
  • nigh to her favourite preacher, Dr. Ramshorn. Mrs. Bunny's in an
  • interesting situation--faith, and she always is, then--and has given
  • the Lieutenant seven already. And Ensign Posky's wife, who joined two
  • months before you, my dear, has quarl'd with Tom Posky a score of
  • times, till you can hear'm all over the bar'ck (they say they're come
  • to broken pleets, and Tom never accounted for his black oi), and she'll
  • go back to her mother, who keeps a ladies' siminary at Richmond--bad
  • luck to her for running away from it! Where did ye get your finishing,
  • my dear? I had moin, and no expince spared, at Madame Flanahan's, at
  • Ilyssus Grove, Booterstown, near Dublin, wid a Marchioness to teach us
  • the true Parisian pronunciation, and a retired Mejor-General of the
  • French service to put us through the exercise."
  • Of this incongruous family our astonished Amelia found herself all of a
  • sudden a member: with Mrs. O'Dowd as an elder sister. She was
  • presented to her other female relations at tea-time, on whom, as she
  • was quiet, good-natured, and not too handsome, she made rather an
  • agreeable impression until the arrival of the gentlemen from the mess
  • of the 150th, who all admired her so, that her sisters began, of
  • course, to find fault with her.
  • "I hope Osborne has sown his wild oats," said Mrs. Magenis to Mrs.
  • Bunny. "If a reformed rake makes a good husband, sure it's she will
  • have the fine chance with Garge," Mrs. O'Dowd remarked to Posky, who
  • had lost her position as bride in the regiment, and was quite angry
  • with the usurper. And as for Mrs. Kirk: that disciple of Dr. Ramshorn
  • put one or two leading professional questions to Amelia, to see whether
  • she was awakened, whether she was a professing Christian and so forth,
  • and finding from the simplicity of Mrs. Osborne's replies that she was
  • yet in utter darkness, put into her hands three little penny books with
  • pictures, viz., the "Howling Wilderness," the "Washerwoman of
  • Wandsworth Common," and the "British Soldier's best Bayonet," which,
  • bent upon awakening her before she slept, Mrs. Kirk begged Amelia to
  • read that night ere she went to bed.
  • But all the men, like good fellows as they were, rallied round their
  • comrade's pretty wife, and paid her their court with soldierly
  • gallantry. She had a little triumph, which flushed her spirits and
  • made her eyes sparkle. George was proud of her popularity, and pleased
  • with the manner (which was very gay and graceful, though naive and a
  • little timid) with which she received the gentlemen's attentions, and
  • answered their compliments. And he in his uniform--how much handsomer
  • he was than any man in the room! She felt that he was affectionately
  • watching her, and glowed with pleasure at his kindness. "I will make
  • all his friends welcome," she resolved in her heart. "I will love all
  • as I love him. I will always try and be gay and good-humoured and make
  • his home happy."
  • The regiment indeed adopted her with acclamation. The Captains
  • approved, the Lieutenants applauded, the Ensigns admired. Old Cutler,
  • the Doctor, made one or two jokes, which, being professional, need not
  • be repeated; and Cackle, the Assistant M.D. of Edinburgh, condescended
  • to examine her upon leeterature, and tried her with his three best
  • French quotations. Young Stubble went about from man to man
  • whispering, "Jove, isn't she a pretty gal?" and never took his eyes off
  • her except when the negus came in.
  • As for Captain Dobbin, he never so much as spoke to her during the
  • whole evening. But he and Captain Porter of the 150th took home Jos to
  • the hotel, who was in a very maudlin state, and had told his tiger-hunt
  • story with great effect, both at the mess-table and at the soiree, to
  • Mrs. O'Dowd in her turban and bird of paradise. Having put the
  • Collector into the hands of his servant, Dobbin loitered about, smoking
  • his cigar before the inn door. George had meanwhile very carefully
  • shawled his wife, and brought her away from Mrs. O'Dowd's after a
  • general handshaking from the young officers, who accompanied her to the
  • fly, and cheered that vehicle as it drove off. So Amelia gave Dobbin
  • her little hand as she got out of the carriage, and rebuked him
  • smilingly for not having taken any notice of her all night.
  • The Captain continued that deleterious amusement of smoking, long after
  • the inn and the street were gone to bed. He watched the lights vanish
  • from George's sitting-room windows, and shine out in the bedroom close
  • at hand. It was almost morning when he returned to his own quarters.
  • He could hear the cheering from the ships in the river, where the
  • transports were already taking in their cargoes preparatory to dropping
  • down the Thames.
  • CHAPTER XXVIII
  • In Which Amelia Invades the Low Countries
  • The regiment with its officers was to be transported in ships provided
  • by His Majesty's government for the occasion: and in two days after
  • the festive assembly at Mrs. O'Dowd's apartments, in the midst of
  • cheering from all the East India ships in the river, and the military
  • on shore, the band playing "God Save the King," the officers waving
  • their hats, and the crews hurrahing gallantly, the transports went down
  • the river and proceeded under convoy to Ostend. Meanwhile the gallant
  • Jos had agreed to escort his sister and the Major's wife, the bulk of
  • whose goods and chattels, including the famous bird of paradise and
  • turban, were with the regimental baggage: so that our two heroines
  • drove pretty much unencumbered to Ramsgate, where there were plenty of
  • packets plying, in one of which they had a speedy passage to Ostend.
  • That period of Jos's life which now ensued was so full of incident,
  • that it served him for conversation for many years after, and even the
  • tiger-hunt story was put aside for more stirring narratives which he
  • had to tell about the great campaign of Waterloo. As soon as he had
  • agreed to escort his sister abroad, it was remarked that he ceased
  • shaving his upper lip. At Chatham he followed the parades and drills
  • with great assiduity. He listened with the utmost attention to the
  • conversation of his brother officers (as he called them in after days
  • sometimes), and learned as many military names as he could. In these
  • studies the excellent Mrs. O'Dowd was of great assistance to him; and
  • on the day finally when they embarked on board the Lovely Rose, which
  • was to carry them to their destination, he made his appearance in a
  • braided frock-coat and duck trousers, with a foraging cap ornamented
  • with a smart gold band. Having his carriage with him, and informing
  • everybody on board confidentially that he was going to join the Duke of
  • Wellington's army, folks mistook him for a great personage, a
  • commissary-general, or a government courier at the very least.
  • He suffered hugely on the voyage, during which the ladies were likewise
  • prostrate; but Amelia was brought to life again as the packet made
  • Ostend, by the sight of the transports conveying her regiment, which
  • entered the harbour almost at the same time with the Lovely Rose. Jos
  • went in a collapsed state to an inn, while Captain Dobbin escorted the
  • ladies, and then busied himself in freeing Jos's carriage and luggage
  • from the ship and the custom-house, for Mr. Jos was at present without
  • a servant, Osborne's man and his own pampered menial having conspired
  • together at Chatham, and refused point-blank to cross the water. This
  • revolt, which came very suddenly, and on the last day, so alarmed Mr.
  • Sedley, junior, that he was on the point of giving up the expedition,
  • but Captain Dobbin (who made himself immensely officious in the
  • business, Jos said), rated him and laughed at him soundly: the
  • mustachios were grown in advance, and Jos finally was persuaded to
  • embark. In place of the well-bred and well-fed London domestics, who
  • could only speak English, Dobbin procured for Jos's party a swarthy
  • little Belgian servant who could speak no language at all; but who, by
  • his bustling behaviour, and by invariably addressing Mr. Sedley as "My
  • lord," speedily acquired that gentleman's favour. Times are altered at
  • Ostend now; of the Britons who go thither, very few look like lords, or
  • act like those members of our hereditary aristocracy. They seem for
  • the most part shabby in attire, dingy of linen, lovers of billiards and
  • brandy, and cigars and greasy ordinaries.
  • But it may be said as a rule, that every Englishman in the Duke of
  • Wellington's army paid his way. The remembrance of such a fact surely
  • becomes a nation of shopkeepers. It was a blessing for a
  • commerce-loving country to be overrun by such an army of customers: and
  • to have such creditable warriors to feed. And the country which they
  • came to protect is not military. For a long period of history they
  • have let other people fight there. When the present writer went to
  • survey with eagle glance the field of Waterloo, we asked the conductor
  • of the diligence, a portly warlike-looking veteran, whether he had been
  • at the battle. "Pas si bete"--such an answer and sentiment as no
  • Frenchman would own to--was his reply. But, on the other hand, the
  • postilion who drove us was a Viscount, a son of some bankrupt Imperial
  • General, who accepted a pennyworth of beer on the road. The moral is
  • surely a good one.
  • This flat, flourishing, easy country never could have looked more rich
  • and prosperous than in that opening summer of 1815, when its green
  • fields and quiet cities were enlivened by multiplied red-coats: when
  • its wide chaussees swarmed with brilliant English equipages: when its
  • great canal-boats, gliding by rich pastures and pleasant quaint old
  • villages, by old chateaux lying amongst old trees, were all crowded
  • with well-to-do English travellers: when the soldier who drank at the
  • village inn, not only drank, but paid his score; and Donald, the
  • Highlander, billeted in the Flemish farm-house, rocked the baby's
  • cradle, while Jean and Jeannette were out getting in the hay. As our
  • painters are bent on military subjects just now, I throw out this as a
  • good subject for the pencil, to illustrate the principle of an honest
  • English war. All looked as brilliant and harmless as a Hyde Park
  • review. Meanwhile, Napoleon screened behind his curtain of
  • frontier-fortresses, was preparing for the outbreak which was to drive
  • all these orderly people into fury and blood; and lay so many of them
  • low.
  • Everybody had such a perfect feeling of confidence in the leader (for
  • the resolute faith which the Duke of Wellington had inspired in the
  • whole English nation was as intense as that more frantic enthusiasm
  • with which at one time the French regarded Napoleon), the country
  • seemed in so perfect a state of orderly defence, and the help at hand
  • in case of need so near and overwhelming, that alarm was unknown, and
  • our travellers, among whom two were naturally of a very timid sort,
  • were, like all the other multiplied English tourists, entirely at ease.
  • The famous regiment, with so many of whose officers we have made
  • acquaintance, was drafted in canal boats to Bruges and Ghent, thence to
  • march to Brussels. Jos accompanied the ladies in the public boats; the
  • which all old travellers in Flanders must remember for the luxury and
  • accommodation they afforded. So prodigiously good was the eating and
  • drinking on board these sluggish but most comfortable vessels, that
  • there are legends extant of an English traveller, who, coming to
  • Belgium for a week, and travelling in one of these boats, was so
  • delighted with the fare there that he went backwards and forwards from
  • Ghent to Bruges perpetually until the railroads were invented, when he
  • drowned himself on the last trip of the passage-boat. Jos's death was
  • not to be of this sort, but his comfort was exceeding, and Mrs. O'Dowd
  • insisted that he only wanted her sister Glorvina to make his happiness
  • complete. He sate on the roof of the cabin all day drinking Flemish
  • beer, shouting for Isidor, his servant, and talking gallantly to the
  • ladies.
  • His courage was prodigious. "Boney attack us!" he cried. "My dear
  • creature, my poor Emmy, don't be frightened. There's no danger. The
  • allies will be in Paris in two months, I tell you; when I'll take you
  • to dine in the Palais Royal, by Jove! There are three hundred thousand
  • Rooshians, I tell you, now entering France by Mayence and the
  • Rhine--three hundred thousand under Wittgenstein and Barclay de Tolly,
  • my poor love. You don't know military affairs, my dear. I do, and I
  • tell you there's no infantry in France can stand against Rooshian
  • infantry, and no general of Boney's that's fit to hold a candle to
  • Wittgenstein. Then there are the Austrians, they are five hundred
  • thousand if a man, and they are within ten marches of the frontier by
  • this time, under Schwartzenberg and Prince Charles. Then there are the
  • Prooshians under the gallant Prince Marshal. Show me a cavalry chief
  • like him now that Murat is gone. Hey, Mrs. O'Dowd? Do you think our
  • little girl here need be afraid? Is there any cause for fear, Isidor?
  • Hey, sir? Get some more beer."
  • Mrs. O'Dowd said that her "Glorvina was not afraid of any man alive,
  • let alone a Frenchman," and tossed off a glass of beer with a wink
  • which expressed her liking for the beverage.
  • Having frequently been in presence of the enemy, or, in other words,
  • faced the ladies at Cheltenham and Bath, our friend, the Collector, had
  • lost a great deal of his pristine timidity, and was now, especially
  • when fortified with liquor, as talkative as might be. He was rather a
  • favourite with the regiment, treating the young officers with
  • sumptuosity, and amusing them by his military airs. And as there is one
  • well-known regiment of the army which travels with a goat heading the
  • column, whilst another is led by a deer, George said with respect to
  • his brother-in-law, that his regiment marched with an elephant.
  • Since Amelia's introduction to the regiment, George began to be rather
  • ashamed of some of the company to which he had been forced to present
  • her; and determined, as he told Dobbin (with what satisfaction to the
  • latter it need not be said), to exchange into some better regiment
  • soon, and to get his wife away from those damned vulgar women. But
  • this vulgarity of being ashamed of one's society is much more common
  • among men than women (except very great ladies of fashion, who, to be
  • sure, indulge in it); and Mrs. Amelia, a natural and unaffected person,
  • had none of that artificial shamefacedness which her husband mistook
  • for delicacy on his own part. Thus Mrs. O'Dowd had a cock's plume in
  • her hat, and a very large "repayther" on her stomach, which she used to
  • ring on all occasions, narrating how it had been presented to her by
  • her fawther, as she stipt into the car'ge after her mar'ge; and these
  • ornaments, with other outward peculiarities of the Major's wife, gave
  • excruciating agonies to Captain Osborne, when his wife and the Major's
  • came in contact; whereas Amelia was only amused by the honest lady's
  • eccentricities, and not in the least ashamed of her company.
  • As they made that well-known journey, which almost every Englishman of
  • middle rank has travelled since, there might have been more
  • instructive, but few more entertaining, companions than Mrs. Major
  • O'Dowd. "Talk about kenal boats; my dear! Ye should see the kenal
  • boats between Dublin and Ballinasloe. It's there the rapid travelling
  • is; and the beautiful cattle. Sure me fawther got a goold medal (and
  • his Excellency himself eat a slice of it, and said never was finer mate
  • in his loif) for a four-year-old heifer, the like of which ye never saw
  • in this country any day." And Jos owned with a sigh, "that for good
  • streaky beef, really mingled with fat and lean, there was no country
  • like England."
  • "Except Ireland, where all your best mate comes from," said the Major's
  • lady; proceeding, as is not unusual with patriots of her nation, to
  • make comparisons greatly in favour of her own country. The idea of
  • comparing the market at Bruges with those of Dublin, although she had
  • suggested it herself, caused immense scorn and derision on her part.
  • "I'll thank ye tell me what they mean by that old gazabo on the top of
  • the market-place," said she, in a burst of ridicule fit to have brought
  • the old tower down. The place was full of English soldiery as they
  • passed. English bugles woke them in the morning; at nightfall they
  • went to bed to the note of the British fife and drum: all the country
  • and Europe was in arms, and the greatest event of history pending: and
  • honest Peggy O'Dowd, whom it concerned as well as another, went on
  • prattling about Ballinafad, and the horses in the stables at
  • Glenmalony, and the clar't drunk there; and Jos Sedley interposed about
  • curry and rice at Dumdum; and Amelia thought about her husband, and how
  • best she should show her love for him; as if these were the great
  • topics of the world.
  • Those who like to lay down the History-book, and to speculate upon what
  • MIGHT have happened in the world, but for the fatal occurrence of what
  • actually did take place (a most puzzling, amusing, ingenious, and
  • profitable kind of meditation), have no doubt often thought to
  • themselves what a specially bad time Napoleon took to come back from
  • Elba, and to let loose his eagle from Gulf San Juan to Notre Dame. The
  • historians on our side tell us that the armies of the allied powers
  • were all providentially on a war-footing, and ready to bear down at a
  • moment's notice upon the Elban Emperor. The august jobbers assembled at
  • Vienna, and carving out the kingdoms of Europe according to their
  • wisdom, had such causes of quarrel among themselves as might have set
  • the armies which had overcome Napoleon to fight against each other, but
  • for the return of the object of unanimous hatred and fear. This
  • monarch had an army in full force because he had jobbed to himself
  • Poland, and was determined to keep it: another had robbed half Saxony,
  • and was bent upon maintaining his acquisition: Italy was the object of
  • a third's solicitude. Each was protesting against the rapacity of the
  • other; and could the Corsican but have waited in prison until all these
  • parties were by the ears, he might have returned and reigned
  • unmolested. But what would have become of our story and all our
  • friends, then? If all the drops in it were dried up, what would become
  • of the sea?
  • In the meanwhile the business of life and living, and the pursuits of
  • pleasure, especially, went on as if no end were to be expected to them,
  • and no enemy in front. When our travellers arrived at Brussels, in
  • which their regiment was quartered, a great piece of good fortune, as
  • all said, they found themselves in one of the gayest and most brilliant
  • little capitals in Europe, and where all the Vanity Fair booths were
  • laid out with the most tempting liveliness and splendour. Gambling was
  • here in profusion, and dancing in plenty: feasting was there to fill
  • with delight that great gourmand of a Jos: there was a theatre where a
  • miraculous Catalani was delighting all hearers: beautiful rides, all
  • enlivened with martial splendour; a rare old city, with strange
  • costumes and wonderful architecture, to delight the eyes of little
  • Amelia, who had never before seen a foreign country, and fill her with
  • charming surprises: so that now and for a few weeks' space in a fine
  • handsome lodging, whereof the expenses were borne by Jos and Osborne,
  • who was flush of money and full of kind attentions to his wife--for
  • about a fortnight, I say, during which her honeymoon ended, Mrs. Amelia
  • was as pleased and happy as any little bride out of England.
  • Every day during this happy time there was novelty and amusement for
  • all parties. There was a church to see, or a picture-gallery--there
  • was a ride, or an opera. The bands of the regiments were making music
  • at all hours. The greatest folks of England walked in the Park--there
  • was a perpetual military festival. George, taking out his wife to a
  • new jaunt or junket every night, was quite pleased with himself as
  • usual, and swore he was becoming quite a domestic character. And a
  • jaunt or a junket with HIM! Was it not enough to set this little heart
  • beating with joy? Her letters home to her mother were filled with
  • delight and gratitude at this season. Her husband bade her buy laces,
  • millinery, jewels, and gimcracks of all sorts. Oh, he was the kindest,
  • best, and most generous of men!
  • The sight of the very great company of lords and ladies and fashionable
  • persons who thronged the town, and appeared in every public place,
  • filled George's truly British soul with intense delight. They flung
  • off that happy frigidity and insolence of demeanour which occasionally
  • characterises the great at home, and appearing in numberless public
  • places, condescended to mingle with the rest of the company whom they
  • met there. One night at a party given by the general of the division
  • to which George's regiment belonged, he had the honour of dancing with
  • Lady Blanche Thistlewood, Lord Bareacres' daughter; he bustled for ices
  • and refreshments for the two noble ladies; he pushed and squeezed for
  • Lady Bareacres' carriage; he bragged about the Countess when he got
  • home, in a way which his own father could not have surpassed. He
  • called upon the ladies the next day; he rode by their side in the Park;
  • he asked their party to a great dinner at a restaurateur's, and was
  • quite wild with exultation when they agreed to come. Old Bareacres,
  • who had not much pride and a large appetite, would go for a dinner
  • anywhere.
  • "I hope there will be no women besides our own party," Lady Bareacres
  • said, after reflecting upon the invitation which had been made, and
  • accepted with too much precipitancy.
  • "Gracious Heaven, Mamma--you don't suppose the man would bring his
  • wife," shrieked Lady Blanche, who had been languishing in George's arms
  • in the newly imported waltz for hours the night before. "The men are
  • bearable, but their women--"
  • "Wife, just married, dev'lish pretty woman, I hear," the old Earl said.
  • "Well, my dear Blanche," said the mother, "I suppose, as Papa wants to
  • go, we must go; but we needn't know them in England, you know." And so,
  • determined to cut their new acquaintance in Bond Street, these great
  • folks went to eat his dinner at Brussels, and condescending to make him
  • pay for their pleasure, showed their dignity by making his wife
  • uncomfortable, and carefully excluding her from the conversation. This
  • is a species of dignity in which the high-bred British female reigns
  • supreme. To watch the behaviour of a fine lady to other and humbler
  • women, is a very good sport for a philosophical frequenter of Vanity
  • Fair.
  • This festival, on which honest George spent a great deal of money, was
  • the very dismallest of all the entertainments which Amelia had in her
  • honeymoon. She wrote the most piteous accounts of the feast home to
  • her mamma: how the Countess of Bareacres would not answer when spoken
  • to; how Lady Blanche stared at her with her eye-glass; and what a rage
  • Captain Dobbin was in at their behaviour; and how my lord, as they came
  • away from the feast, asked to see the bill, and pronounced it a d----
  • bad dinner, and d---- dear. But though Amelia told all these stories,
  • and wrote home regarding her guests' rudeness, and her own
  • discomfiture, old Mrs. Sedley was mightily pleased nevertheless, and
  • talked about Emmy's friend, the Countess of Bareacres, with such
  • assiduity that the news how his son was entertaining peers and
  • peeresses actually came to Osborne's ears in the City.
  • Those who know the present Lieutenant-General Sir George Tufto, K.C.B.,
  • and have seen him, as they may on most days in the season, padded and
  • in stays, strutting down Pall Mall with a rickety swagger on his
  • high-heeled lacquered boots, leering under the bonnets of passers-by,
  • or riding a showy chestnut, and ogling broughams in the Parks--those
  • who know the present Sir George Tufto would hardly recognise the daring
  • Peninsular and Waterloo officer. He has thick curling brown hair and
  • black eyebrows now, and his whiskers are of the deepest purple. He was
  • light-haired and bald in 1815, and stouter in the person and in the
  • limbs, which especially have shrunk very much of late. When he was
  • about seventy years of age (he is now nearly eighty), his hair, which
  • was very scarce and quite white, suddenly grew thick, and brown, and
  • curly, and his whiskers and eyebrows took their present colour.
  • Ill-natured people say that his chest is all wool, and that his hair,
  • because it never grows, is a wig. Tom Tufto, with whose father he
  • quarrelled ever so many years ago, declares that Mademoiselle de
  • Jaisey, of the French theatre, pulled his grandpapa's hair off in the
  • green-room; but Tom is notoriously spiteful and jealous; and the
  • General's wig has nothing to do with our story.
  • One day, as some of our friends of the --th were sauntering in the
  • flower-market of Brussels, having been to see the Hotel de Ville, which
  • Mrs. Major O'Dowd declared was not near so large or handsome as her
  • fawther's mansion of Glenmalony, an officer of rank, with an orderly
  • behind him, rode up to the market, and descending from his horse, came
  • amongst the flowers, and selected the very finest bouquet which money
  • could buy. The beautiful bundle being tied up in a paper, the officer
  • remounted, giving the nosegay into the charge of his military groom,
  • who carried it with a grin, following his chief, who rode away in great
  • state and self-satisfaction.
  • "You should see the flowers at Glenmalony," Mrs. O'Dowd was remarking.
  • "Me fawther has three Scotch garners with nine helpers. We have an acre
  • of hot-houses, and pines as common as pays in the sayson. Our greeps
  • weighs six pounds every bunch of 'em, and upon me honour and conscience
  • I think our magnolias is as big as taykettles."
  • Dobbin, who never used to "draw out" Mrs. O'Dowd as that wicked Osborne
  • delighted in doing (much to Amelia's terror, who implored him to spare
  • her), fell back in the crowd, crowing and sputtering until he reached a
  • safe distance, when he exploded amongst the astonished market-people
  • with shrieks of yelling laughter.
  • "Hwhat's that gawky guggling about?" said Mrs. O'Dowd. "Is it his nose
  • bleedn? He always used to say 'twas his nose bleedn, till he must have
  • pomped all the blood out of 'um. An't the magnolias at Glenmalony as
  • big as taykettles, O'Dowd?"
  • "'Deed then they are, and bigger, Peggy," the Major said. When the
  • conversation was interrupted in the manner stated by the arrival of the
  • officer who purchased the bouquet.
  • "Devlish fine horse--who is it?" George asked.
  • "You should see me brother Molloy Malony's horse, Molasses, that won
  • the cop at the Curragh," the Major's wife was exclaiming, and was
  • continuing the family history, when her husband interrupted her by
  • saying--
  • "It's General Tufto, who commands the ---- cavalry division"; adding
  • quietly, "he and I were both shot in the same leg at Talavera."
  • "Where you got your step," said George with a laugh. "General Tufto!
  • Then, my dear, the Crawleys are come."
  • Amelia's heart fell--she knew not why. The sun did not seem to shine
  • so bright. The tall old roofs and gables looked less picturesque all
  • of a sudden, though it was a brilliant sunset, and one of the brightest
  • and most beautiful days at the end of May.
  • CHAPTER XXIX
  • Brussels
  • Mr. Jos had hired a pair of horses for his open carriage, with which
  • cattle, and the smart London vehicle, he made a very tolerable figure
  • in the drives about Brussels. George purchased a horse for his private
  • riding, and he and Captain Dobbin would often accompany the carriage in
  • which Jos and his sister took daily excursions of pleasure. They went
  • out that day in the park for their accustomed diversion, and there,
  • sure enough, George's remark with regard to the arrival of Rawdon
  • Crawley and his wife proved to be correct. In the midst of a little
  • troop of horsemen, consisting of some of the very greatest persons in
  • Brussels, Rebecca was seen in the prettiest and tightest of
  • riding-habits, mounted on a beautiful little Arab, which she rode to
  • perfection (having acquired the art at Queen's Crawley, where the
  • Baronet, Mr. Pitt, and Rawdon himself had given her many lessons), and
  • by the side of the gallant General Tufto.
  • "Sure it's the Juke himself," cried Mrs. Major O'Dowd to Jos, who began
  • to blush violently; "and that's Lord Uxbridge on the bay. How elegant
  • he looks! Me brother, Molloy Malony, is as like him as two pays."
  • Rebecca did not make for the carriage; but as soon as she perceived her
  • old acquaintance Amelia seated in it, acknowledged her presence by a
  • gracious nod and smile, and by kissing and shaking her fingers
  • playfully in the direction of the vehicle. Then she resumed her
  • conversation with General Tufto, who asked "who the fat officer was in
  • the gold-laced cap?" on which Becky replied, "that he was an officer in
  • the East Indian service." But Rawdon Crawley rode out of the ranks of
  • his company, and came up and shook hands heartily with Amelia, and said
  • to Jos, "Well, old boy, how are you?" and stared in Mrs. O'Dowd's face
  • and at the black cock's feathers until she began to think she had made
  • a conquest of him.
  • George, who had been delayed behind, rode up almost immediately with
  • Dobbin, and they touched their caps to the august personages, among
  • whom Osborne at once perceived Mrs. Crawley. He was delighted to see
  • Rawdon leaning over his carriage familiarly and talking to Amelia, and
  • met the aide-de-camp's cordial greeting with more than corresponding
  • warmth. The nods between Rawdon and Dobbin were of the very faintest
  • specimens of politeness.
  • Crawley told George where they were stopping with General Tufto at the
  • Hotel du Parc, and George made his friend promise to come speedily to
  • Osborne's own residence. "Sorry I hadn't seen you three days ago,"
  • George said. "Had a dinner at the Restaurateur's--rather a nice thing.
  • Lord Bareacres, and the Countess, and Lady Blanche, were good enough to
  • dine with us--wish we'd had you." Having thus let his friend know his
  • claims to be a man of fashion, Osborne parted from Rawdon, who followed
  • the august squadron down an alley into which they cantered, while
  • George and Dobbin resumed their places, one on each side of Amelia's
  • carriage.
  • "How well the Juke looked," Mrs. O'Dowd remarked. "The Wellesleys and
  • Malonys are related; but, of course, poor I would never dream of
  • introjuicing myself unless his Grace thought proper to remember our
  • family-tie."
  • "He's a great soldier," Jos said, much more at ease now the great man
  • was gone. "Was there ever a battle won like Salamanca? Hey, Dobbin?
  • But where was it he learnt his art? In India, my boy! The jungle's
  • the school for a general, mark me that. I knew him myself, too, Mrs.
  • O'Dowd: we both of us danced the same evening with Miss Cutler,
  • daughter of Cutler of the Artillery, and a devilish fine girl, at
  • Dumdum."
  • The apparition of the great personages held them all in talk during the
  • drive; and at dinner; and until the hour came when they were all to go
  • to the Opera.
  • It was almost like Old England. The house was filled with familiar
  • British faces, and those toilettes for which the British female has
  • long been celebrated. Mrs. O'Dowd's was not the least splendid amongst
  • these, and she had a curl on her forehead, and a set of Irish diamonds
  • and Cairngorms, which outshone all the decorations in the house, in her
  • notion. Her presence used to excruciate Osborne; but go she would upon
  • all parties of pleasure on which she heard her young friends were bent.
  • It never entered into her thought but that they must be charmed with
  • her company.
  • "She's been useful to you, my dear," George said to his wife, whom he
  • could leave alone with less scruple when she had this society. "But
  • what a comfort it is that Rebecca's come: you will have her for a
  • friend, and we may get rid now of this damn'd Irishwoman." To this
  • Amelia did not answer, yes or no: and how do we know what her thoughts
  • were?
  • The coup d'oeil of the Brussels opera-house did not strike Mrs. O'Dowd
  • as being so fine as the theatre in Fishamble Street, Dublin, nor was
  • French music at all equal, in her opinion, to the melodies of her
  • native country. She favoured her friends with these and other opinions
  • in a very loud tone of voice, and tossed about a great clattering fan
  • she sported, with the most splendid complacency.
  • "Who is that wonderful woman with Amelia, Rawdon, love?" said a lady in
  • an opposite box (who, almost always civil to her husband in private,
  • was more fond than ever of him in company).
  • "Don't you see that creature with a yellow thing in her turban, and a
  • red satin gown, and a great watch?"
  • "Near the pretty little woman in white?" asked a middle-aged gentleman
  • seated by the querist's side, with orders in his button, and several
  • under-waistcoats, and a great, choky, white stock.
  • "That pretty woman in white is Amelia, General: you are remarking all
  • the pretty women, you naughty man."
  • "Only one, begad, in the world!" said the General, delighted, and the
  • lady gave him a tap with a large bouquet which she had.
  • "Bedad it's him," said Mrs. O'Dowd; "and that's the very bokay he
  • bought in the Marshy aux Flures!" and when Rebecca, having caught her
  • friend's eye, performed the little hand-kissing operation once more,
  • Mrs. Major O'D., taking the compliment to herself, returned the salute
  • with a gracious smile, which sent that unfortunate Dobbin shrieking out
  • of the box again.
  • At the end of the act, George was out of the box in a moment, and he
  • was even going to pay his respects to Rebecca in her loge. He met
  • Crawley in the lobby, however, where they exchanged a few sentences
  • upon the occurrences of the last fortnight.
  • "You found my cheque all right at the agent's? George said, with a
  • knowing air.
  • "All right, my boy," Rawdon answered. "Happy to give you your revenge.
  • Governor come round?"
  • "Not yet," said George, "but he will; and you know I've some private
  • fortune through my mother. Has Aunty relented?"
  • "Sent me twenty pound, damned old screw. When shall we have a meet?
  • The General dines out on Tuesday. Can't you come Tuesday? I say, make
  • Sedley cut off his moustache. What the devil does a civilian mean with
  • a moustache and those infernal frogs to his coat! By-bye. Try and come
  • on Tuesday"; and Rawdon was going-off with two brilliant young
  • gentlemen of fashion, who were, like himself, on the staff of a general
  • officer.
  • George was only half pleased to be asked to dinner on that particular
  • day when the General was not to dine. "I will go in and pay my
  • respects to your wife," said he; at which Rawdon said, "Hm, as you
  • please," looking very glum, and at which the two young officers
  • exchanged knowing glances. George parted from them and strutted down
  • the lobby to the General's box, the number of which he had carefully
  • counted.
  • "Entrez," said a clear little voice, and our friend found himself in
  • Rebecca's presence; who jumped up, clapped her hands together, and held
  • out both of them to George, so charmed was she to see him. The
  • General, with the orders in his button, stared at the newcomer with a
  • sulky scowl, as much as to say, who the devil are you?
  • "My dear Captain George!" cried little Rebecca in an ecstasy. "How
  • good of you to come. The General and I were moping together tete-a-tete.
  • General, this is my Captain George of whom you heard me talk."
  • "Indeed," said the General, with a very small bow; "of what regiment is
  • Captain George?"
  • George mentioned the --th: how he wished he could have said it was a
  • crack cavalry corps.
  • "Come home lately from the West Indies, I believe. Not seen much
  • service in the late war. Quartered here, Captain George?"--the General
  • went on with killing haughtiness.
  • "Not Captain George, you stupid man; Captain Osborne," Rebecca said.
  • The General all the while was looking savagely from one to the other.
  • "Captain Osborne, indeed! Any relation to the L------ Osbornes?"
  • "We bear the same arms," George said, as indeed was the fact; Mr.
  • Osborne having consulted with a herald in Long Acre, and picked the
  • L------ arms out of the peerage, when he set up his carriage fifteen
  • years before. The General made no reply to this announcement; but took
  • up his opera-glass--the double-barrelled lorgnon was not invented in
  • those days--and pretended to examine the house; but Rebecca saw that
  • his disengaged eye was working round in her direction, and shooting out
  • bloodshot glances at her and George.
  • She redoubled in cordiality. "How is dearest Amelia? But I needn't
  • ask: how pretty she looks! And who is that nice good-natured looking
  • creature with her--a flame of yours? O, you wicked men! And there is
  • Mr. Sedley eating ice, I declare: how he seems to enjoy it! General,
  • why have we not had any ices?"
  • "Shall I go and fetch you some?" said the General, bursting with wrath.
  • "Let ME go, I entreat you," George said.
  • "No, I will go to Amelia's box. Dear, sweet girl! Give me your arm,
  • Captain George"; and so saying, and with a nod to the General, she
  • tripped into the lobby. She gave George the queerest, knowingest look,
  • when they were together, a look which might have been interpreted,
  • "Don't you see the state of affairs, and what a fool I'm making of
  • him?" But he did not perceive it. He was thinking of his own plans,
  • and lost in pompous admiration of his own irresistible powers of
  • pleasing.
  • The curses to which the General gave a low utterance, as soon as
  • Rebecca and her conqueror had quitted him, were so deep, that I am sure
  • no compositor would venture to print them were they written down. They
  • came from the General's heart; and a wonderful thing it is to think
  • that the human heart is capable of generating such produce, and can
  • throw out, as occasion demands, such a supply of lust and fury, rage
  • and hatred.
  • Amelia's gentle eyes, too, had been fixed anxiously on the pair, whose
  • conduct had so chafed the jealous General; but when Rebecca entered her
  • box, she flew to her friend with an affectionate rapture which showed
  • itself, in spite of the publicity of the place; for she embraced her
  • dearest friend in the presence of the whole house, at least in full
  • view of the General's glass, now brought to bear upon the Osborne
  • party. Mrs. Rawdon saluted Jos, too, with the kindliest greeting: she
  • admired Mrs. O'Dowd's large Cairngorm brooch and superb Irish diamonds,
  • and wouldn't believe that they were not from Golconda direct. She
  • bustled, she chattered, she turned and twisted, and smiled upon one,
  • and smirked on another, all in full view of the jealous opera-glass
  • opposite. And when the time for the ballet came (in which there was no
  • dancer that went through her grimaces or performed her comedy of action
  • better), she skipped back to her own box, leaning on Captain Dobbin's
  • arm this time. No, she would not have George's: he must stay and talk
  • to his dearest, best, little Amelia.
  • "What a humbug that woman is!" honest old Dobbin mumbled to George,
  • when he came back from Rebecca's box, whither he had conducted her in
  • perfect silence, and with a countenance as glum as an undertaker's.
  • "She writhes and twists about like a snake. All the time she was here,
  • didn't you see, George, how she was acting at the General over the way?"
  • "Humbug--acting! Hang it, she's the nicest little woman in England,"
  • George replied, showing his white teeth, and giving his ambrosial
  • whiskers a twirl. "You ain't a man of the world, Dobbin. Dammy, look
  • at her now, she's talked over Tufto in no time. Look how he's
  • laughing! Gad, what a shoulder she has! Emmy, why didn't you have a
  • bouquet? Everybody has a bouquet."
  • "Faith, then, why didn't you BOY one?" Mrs. O'Dowd said; and both
  • Amelia and William Dobbin thanked her for this timely observation. But
  • beyond this neither of the ladies rallied. Amelia was overpowered by
  • the flash and the dazzle and the fashionable talk of her worldly rival.
  • Even the O'Dowd was silent and subdued after Becky's brilliant
  • apparition, and scarcely said a word more about Glenmalony all the
  • evening.
  • "When do you intend to give up play, George, as you have promised me,
  • any time these hundred years?" Dobbin said to his friend a few days
  • after the night at the Opera. "When do you intend to give up
  • sermonising?" was the other's reply. "What the deuce, man, are you
  • alarmed about? We play low; I won last night. You don't suppose
  • Crawley cheats? With fair play it comes to pretty much the same thing
  • at the year's end."
  • "But I don't think he could pay if he lost," Dobbin said; and his
  • advice met with the success which advice usually commands. Osborne and
  • Crawley were repeatedly together now. General Tufto dined abroad
  • almost constantly. George was always welcome in the apartments (very
  • close indeed to those of the General) which the aide-de-camp and his
  • wife occupied in the hotel.
  • Amelia's manners were such when she and George visited Crawley and his
  • wife at these quarters, that they had very nearly come to their first
  • quarrel; that is, George scolded his wife violently for her evident
  • unwillingness to go, and the high and mighty manner in which she
  • comported herself towards Mrs. Crawley, her old friend; and Amelia did
  • not say one single word in reply; but with her husband's eye upon her,
  • and Rebecca scanning her as she felt, was, if possible, more bashful
  • and awkward on the second visit which she paid to Mrs. Rawdon, than on
  • her first call.
  • Rebecca was doubly affectionate, of course, and would not take notice,
  • in the least, of her friend's coolness. "I think Emmy has become
  • prouder since her father's name was in the--since Mr. Sedley's
  • MISFORTUNES," Rebecca said, softening the phrase charitably for
  • George's ear.
  • "Upon my word, I thought when we were at Brighton she was doing me the
  • honour to be jealous of me; and now I suppose she is scandalised
  • because Rawdon, and I, and the General live together. Why, my dear
  • creature, how could we, with our means, live at all, but for a friend
  • to share expenses? And do you suppose that Rawdon is not big enough to
  • take care of my honour? But I'm very much obliged to Emmy, very," Mrs.
  • Rawdon said.
  • "Pooh, jealousy!" answered George, "all women are jealous."
  • "And all men too. Weren't you jealous of General Tufto, and the
  • General of you, on the night of the Opera? Why, he was ready to eat me
  • for going with you to visit that foolish little wife of yours; as if I
  • care a pin for either of you," Crawley's wife said, with a pert toss of
  • her head. "Will you dine here? The dragon dines with the
  • Commander-in-Chief. Great news is stirring. They say the French have
  • crossed the frontier. We shall have a quiet dinner."
  • George accepted the invitation, although his wife was a little ailing.
  • They were now not quite six weeks married. Another woman was laughing
  • or sneering at her expense, and he not angry. He was not even angry
  • with himself, this good-natured fellow. It is a shame, he owned to
  • himself; but hang it, if a pretty woman WILL throw herself in your way,
  • why, what can a fellow do, you know? I AM rather free about women, he
  • had often said, smiling and nodding knowingly to Stubble and Spooney,
  • and other comrades of the mess-table; and they rather respected him
  • than otherwise for this prowess. Next to conquering in war, conquering
  • in love has been a source of pride, time out of mind, amongst men in
  • Vanity Fair, or how should schoolboys brag of their amours, or Don Juan
  • be popular?
  • So Mr. Osborne, having a firm conviction in his own mind that he was a
  • woman-killer and destined to conquer, did not run counter to his fate,
  • but yielded himself up to it quite complacently. And as Emmy did not
  • say much or plague him with her jealousy, but merely became unhappy and
  • pined over it miserably in secret, he chose to fancy that she was not
  • suspicious of what all his acquaintance were perfectly aware--namely,
  • that he was carrying on a desperate flirtation with Mrs. Crawley. He
  • rode with her whenever she was free. He pretended regimental business
  • to Amelia (by which falsehood she was not in the least deceived), and
  • consigning his wife to solitude or her brother's society, passed his
  • evenings in the Crawleys' company; losing money to the husband and
  • flattering himself that the wife was dying of love for him. It is very
  • likely that this worthy couple never absolutely conspired and agreed
  • together in so many words: the one to cajole the young gentleman,
  • whilst the other won his money at cards: but they understood each other
  • perfectly well, and Rawdon let Osborne come and go with entire good
  • humour.
  • George was so occupied with his new acquaintances that he and William
  • Dobbin were by no means so much together as formerly. George avoided
  • him in public and in the regiment, and, as we see, did not like those
  • sermons which his senior was disposed to inflict upon him. If some
  • parts of his conduct made Captain Dobbin exceedingly grave and cool; of
  • what use was it to tell George that, though his whiskers were large,
  • and his own opinion of his knowingness great, he was as green as a
  • schoolboy? that Rawdon was making a victim of him as he had done of
  • many before, and as soon as he had used him would fling him off with
  • scorn? He would not listen: and so, as Dobbin, upon those days when
  • he visited the Osborne house, seldom had the advantage of meeting his
  • old friend, much painful and unavailing talk between them was spared.
  • Our friend George was in the full career of the pleasures of Vanity
  • Fair.
  • There never was, since the days of Darius, such a brilliant train of
  • camp-followers as hung round the Duke of Wellington's army in the Low
  • Countries, in 1815; and led it dancing and feasting, as it were, up to
  • the very brink of battle. A certain ball which a noble Duchess gave at
  • Brussels on the 15th of June in the above-named year is historical.
  • All Brussels had been in a state of excitement about it, and I have
  • heard from ladies who were in that town at the period, that the talk
  • and interest of persons of their own sex regarding the ball was much
  • greater even than in respect of the enemy in their front. The
  • struggles, intrigues, and prayers to get tickets were such as only
  • English ladies will employ, in order to gain admission to the society
  • of the great of their own nation.
  • Jos and Mrs. O'Dowd, who were panting to be asked, strove in vain to
  • procure tickets; but others of our friends were more lucky. For
  • instance, through the interest of my Lord Bareacres, and as a set-off
  • for the dinner at the restaurateur's, George got a card for Captain and
  • Mrs. Osborne; which circumstance greatly elated him. Dobbin, who was a
  • friend of the General commanding the division in which their regiment
  • was, came laughing one day to Mrs. Osborne, and displayed a similar
  • invitation, which made Jos envious, and George wonder how the deuce he
  • should be getting into society. Mr. and Mrs. Rawdon, finally, were of
  • course invited; as became the friends of a General commanding a cavalry
  • brigade.
  • On the appointed night, George, having commanded new dresses and
  • ornaments of all sorts for Amelia, drove to the famous ball, where his
  • wife did not know a single soul. After looking about for Lady
  • Bareacres, who cut him, thinking the card was quite enough--and after
  • placing Amelia on a bench, he left her to her own cogitations there,
  • thinking, on his own part, that he had behaved very handsomely in
  • getting her new clothes, and bringing her to the ball, where she was
  • free to amuse herself as she liked. Her thoughts were not of the
  • pleasantest, and nobody except honest Dobbin came to disturb them.
  • Whilst her appearance was an utter failure (as her husband felt with a
  • sort of rage), Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's debut was, on the contrary, very
  • brilliant. She arrived very late. Her face was radiant; her dress
  • perfection. In the midst of the great persons assembled, and the
  • eye-glasses directed to her, Rebecca seemed to be as cool and collected
  • as when she used to marshal Miss Pinkerton's little girls to church.
  • Numbers of the men she knew already, and the dandies thronged round
  • her. As for the ladies, it was whispered among them that Rawdon had
  • run away with her from out of a convent, and that she was a relation of
  • the Montmorency family. She spoke French so perfectly that there might
  • be some truth in this report, and it was agreed that her manners were
  • fine, and her air distingue. Fifty would-be partners thronged round
  • her at once, and pressed to have the honour to dance with her. But she
  • said she was engaged, and only going to dance very little; and made her
  • way at once to the place where Emmy sate quite unnoticed, and dismally
  • unhappy. And so, to finish the poor child at once, Mrs. Rawdon ran and
  • greeted affectionately her dearest Amelia, and began forthwith to
  • patronise her. She found fault with her friend's dress, and her
  • hairdresser, and wondered how she could be so chaussee, and vowed that
  • she must send her corsetiere the next morning. She vowed that it was a
  • delightful ball; that there was everybody that every one knew, and only
  • a VERY few nobodies in the whole room. It is a fact, that in a
  • fortnight, and after three dinners in general society, this young woman
  • had got up the genteel jargon so well, that a native could not speak it
  • better; and it was only from her French being so good, that you could
  • know she was not a born woman of fashion.
  • George, who had left Emmy on her bench on entering the ball-room, very
  • soon found his way back when Rebecca was by her dear friend's side.
  • Becky was just lecturing Mrs. Osborne upon the follies which her
  • husband was committing. "For God's sake, stop him from gambling, my
  • dear," she said, "or he will ruin himself. He and Rawdon are playing at
  • cards every night, and you know he is very poor, and Rawdon will win
  • every shilling from him if he does not take care. Why don't you
  • prevent him, you little careless creature? Why don't you come to us of
  • an evening, instead of moping at home with that Captain Dobbin? I dare
  • say he is tres aimable; but how could one love a man with feet of such
  • size? Your husband's feet are darlings--Here he comes. Where have you
  • been, wretch? Here is Emmy crying her eyes out for you. Are you
  • coming to fetch me for the quadrille?" And she left her bouquet and
  • shawl by Amelia's side, and tripped off with George to dance. Women
  • only know how to wound so. There is a poison on the tips of their
  • little shafts, which stings a thousand times more than a man's blunter
  • weapon. Our poor Emmy, who had never hated, never sneered all her
  • life, was powerless in the hands of her remorseless little enemy.
  • George danced with Rebecca twice or thrice--how many times Amelia
  • scarcely knew. She sat quite unnoticed in her corner, except when
  • Rawdon came up with some words of clumsy conversation: and later in
  • the evening, when Captain Dobbin made so bold as to bring her
  • refreshments and sit beside her. He did not like to ask her why she
  • was so sad; but as a pretext for the tears which were filling in her
  • eyes, she told him that Mrs. Crawley had alarmed her by telling her
  • that George would go on playing.
  • "It is curious, when a man is bent upon play, by what clumsy rogues he
  • will allow himself to be cheated," Dobbin said; and Emmy said,
  • "Indeed." She was thinking of something else. It was not the loss of
  • the money that grieved her.
  • At last George came back for Rebecca's shawl and flowers. She was
  • going away. She did not even condescend to come back and say good-bye
  • to Amelia. The poor girl let her husband come and go without saying a
  • word, and her head fell on her breast. Dobbin had been called away,
  • and was whispering deep in conversation with the General of the
  • division, his friend, and had not seen this last parting. George went
  • away then with the bouquet; but when he gave it to the owner, there lay
  • a note, coiled like a snake among the flowers. Rebecca's eye caught it
  • at once. She had been used to deal with notes in early life. She put
  • out her hand and took the nosegay. He saw by her eyes as they met,
  • that she was aware what she should find there. Her husband hurried her
  • away, still too intent upon his own thoughts, seemingly, to take note
  • of any marks of recognition which might pass between his friend and his
  • wife. These were, however, but trifling. Rebecca gave George her hand
  • with one of her usual quick knowing glances, and made a curtsey and
  • walked away. George bowed over the hand, said nothing in reply to a
  • remark of Crawley's, did not hear it even, his brain was so throbbing
  • with triumph and excitement, and allowed them to go away without a word.
  • His wife saw the one part at least of the bouquet-scene. It was quite
  • natural that George should come at Rebecca's request to get her her
  • scarf and flowers: it was no more than he had done twenty times before
  • in the course of the last few days; but now it was too much for her.
  • "William," she said, suddenly clinging to Dobbin, who was near her,
  • "you've always been very kind to me--I'm--I'm not well. Take me home."
  • She did not know she called him by his Christian name, as George was
  • accustomed to do. He went away with her quickly. Her lodgings were
  • hard by; and they threaded through the crowd without, where everything
  • seemed to be more astir than even in the ball-room within.
  • George had been angry twice or thrice at finding his wife up on his
  • return from the parties which he frequented: so she went straight to
  • bed now; but although she did not sleep, and although the din and
  • clatter, and the galloping of horsemen were incessant, she never heard
  • any of these noises, having quite other disturbances to keep her awake.
  • Osborne meanwhile, wild with elation, went off to a play-table, and
  • began to bet frantically. He won repeatedly. "Everything succeeds with
  • me to-night," he said. But his luck at play even did not cure him of
  • his restlessness, and he started up after awhile, pocketing his
  • winnings, and went to a buffet, where he drank off many bumpers of wine.
  • Here, as he was rattling away to the people around, laughing loudly and
  • wild with spirits, Dobbin found him. He had been to the card-tables to
  • look there for his friend. Dobbin looked as pale and grave as his
  • comrade was flushed and jovial.
  • "Hullo, Dob! Come and drink, old Dob! The Duke's wine is famous. Give
  • me some more, you sir"; and he held out a trembling glass for the
  • liquor.
  • "Come out, George," said Dobbin, still gravely; "don't drink."
  • "Drink! there's nothing like it. Drink yourself, and light up your
  • lantern jaws, old boy. Here's to you."
  • Dobbin went up and whispered something to him, at which George, giving
  • a start and a wild hurray, tossed off his glass, clapped it on the
  • table, and walked away speedily on his friend's arm. "The enemy has
  • passed the Sambre," William said, "and our left is already engaged.
  • Come away. We are to march in three hours."
  • Away went George, his nerves quivering with excitement at the news so
  • long looked for, so sudden when it came. What were love and intrigue
  • now? He thought about a thousand things but these in his rapid walk to
  • his quarters--his past life and future chances--the fate which might be
  • before him--the wife, the child perhaps, from whom unseen he might be
  • about to part. Oh, how he wished that night's work undone! and that
  • with a clear conscience at least he might say farewell to the tender
  • and guileless being by whose love he had set such little store!
  • He thought over his brief married life. In those few weeks he had
  • frightfully dissipated his little capital. How wild and reckless he
  • had been! Should any mischance befall him: what was then left for
  • her? How unworthy he was of her. Why had he married her? He was not
  • fit for marriage. Why had he disobeyed his father, who had been always
  • so generous to him? Hope, remorse, ambition, tenderness, and selfish
  • regret filled his heart. He sate down and wrote to his father,
  • remembering what he had said once before, when he was engaged to fight
  • a duel. Dawn faintly streaked the sky as he closed this farewell
  • letter. He sealed it, and kissed the superscription. He thought how he
  • had deserted that generous father, and of the thousand kindnesses which
  • the stern old man had done him.
  • He had looked into Amelia's bedroom when he entered; she lay quiet, and
  • her eyes seemed closed, and he was glad that she was asleep. On
  • arriving at his quarters from the ball, he had found his regimental
  • servant already making preparations for his departure: the man had
  • understood his signal to be still, and these arrangements were very
  • quickly and silently made. Should he go in and wake Amelia, he
  • thought, or leave a note for her brother to break the news of departure
  • to her? He went in to look at her once again.
  • She had been awake when he first entered her room, but had kept her
  • eyes closed, so that even her wakefulness should not seem to reproach
  • him. But when he had returned, so soon after herself, too, this timid
  • little heart had felt more at ease, and turning towards him as he stept
  • softly out of the room, she had fallen into a light sleep. George came
  • in and looked at her again, entering still more softly. By the pale
  • night-lamp he could see her sweet, pale face--the purple eyelids were
  • fringed and closed, and one round arm, smooth and white, lay outside of
  • the coverlet. Good God! how pure she was; how gentle, how tender, and
  • how friendless! and he, how selfish, brutal, and black with crime!
  • Heart-stained, and shame-stricken, he stood at the bed's foot, and
  • looked at the sleeping girl. How dared he--who was he, to pray for one
  • so spotless! God bless her! God bless her! He came to the bedside,
  • and looked at the hand, the little soft hand, lying asleep; and he bent
  • over the pillow noiselessly towards the gentle pale face.
  • Two fair arms closed tenderly round his neck as he stooped down. "I am
  • awake, George," the poor child said, with a sob fit to break the little
  • heart that nestled so closely by his own. She was awake, poor soul,
  • and to what? At that moment a bugle from the Place of Arms began
  • sounding clearly, and was taken up through the town; and amidst the
  • drums of the infantry, and the shrill pipes of the Scotch, the whole
  • city awoke.
  • CHAPTER XXX
  • "The Girl I Left Behind Me"
  • We do not claim to rank among the military novelists. Our place is with
  • the non-combatants. When the decks are cleared for action we go below
  • and wait meekly. We should only be in the way of the manoeuvres that
  • the gallant fellows are performing overhead. We shall go no farther
  • with the --th than to the city gate: and leaving Major O'Dowd to his
  • duty, come back to the Major's wife, and the ladies and the baggage.
  • Now the Major and his lady, who had not been invited to the ball at
  • which in our last chapter other of our friends figured, had much more
  • time to take their wholesome natural rest in bed, than was accorded to
  • people who wished to enjoy pleasure as well as to do duty. "It's my
  • belief, Peggy, my dear," said he, as he placidly pulled his nightcap
  • over his ears, "that there will be such a ball danced in a day or two
  • as some of 'em has never heard the chune of"; and he was much more
  • happy to retire to rest after partaking of a quiet tumbler, than to
  • figure at any other sort of amusement. Peggy, for her part, would have
  • liked to have shown her turban and bird of paradise at the ball, but
  • for the information which her husband had given her, and which made her
  • very grave.
  • "I'd like ye wake me about half an hour before the assembly beats," the
  • Major said to his lady. "Call me at half-past one, Peggy dear, and see
  • me things is ready. May be I'll not come back to breakfast, Mrs. O'D."
  • With which words, which signified his opinion that the regiment would
  • march the next morning, the Major ceased talking, and fell asleep.
  • Mrs. O'Dowd, the good housewife, arrayed in curl papers and a camisole,
  • felt that her duty was to act, and not to sleep, at this juncture.
  • "Time enough for that," she said, "when Mick's gone"; and so she packed
  • his travelling valise ready for the march, brushed his cloak, his cap,
  • and other warlike habiliments, set them out in order for him; and
  • stowed away in the cloak pockets a light package of portable
  • refreshments, and a wicker-covered flask or pocket-pistol, containing
  • near a pint of a remarkably sound Cognac brandy, of which she and the
  • Major approved very much; and as soon as the hands of the "repayther"
  • pointed to half-past one, and its interior arrangements (it had a tone
  • quite equal to a cathaydral, its fair owner considered) knelled forth
  • that fatal hour, Mrs. O'Dowd woke up her Major, and had as comfortable
  • a cup of coffee prepared for him as any made that morning in Brussels.
  • And who is there will deny that this worthy lady's preparations
  • betokened affection as much as the fits of tears and hysterics by which
  • more sensitive females exhibited their love, and that their partaking
  • of this coffee, which they drank together while the bugles were
  • sounding the turn-out and the drums beating in the various quarters of
  • the town, was not more useful and to the purpose than the outpouring of
  • any mere sentiment could be? The consequence was, that the Major
  • appeared on parade quite trim, fresh, and alert, his well-shaved rosy
  • countenance, as he sate on horseback, giving cheerfulness and
  • confidence to the whole corps. All the officers saluted her when the
  • regiment marched by the balcony on which this brave woman stood, and
  • waved them a cheer as they passed; and I daresay it was not from want
  • of courage, but from a sense of female delicacy and propriety, that she
  • refrained from leading the gallant--th personally into action.
  • On Sundays, and at periods of a solemn nature, Mrs. O'Dowd used to read
  • with great gravity out of a large volume of her uncle the Dean's
  • sermons. It had been of great comfort to her on board the transport as
  • they were coming home, and were very nearly wrecked, on their return
  • from the West Indies. After the regiment's departure she betook
  • herself to this volume for meditation; perhaps she did not understand
  • much of what she was reading, and her thoughts were elsewhere: but the
  • sleep project, with poor Mick's nightcap there on the pillow, was quite
  • a vain one. So it is in the world. Jack or Donald marches away to
  • glory with his knapsack on his shoulder, stepping out briskly to the
  • tune of "The Girl I Left Behind Me." It is she who remains and
  • suffers--and has the leisure to think, and brood, and remember.
  • Knowing how useless regrets are, and how the indulgence of sentiment
  • only serves to make people more miserable, Mrs. Rebecca wisely
  • determined to give way to no vain feelings of sorrow, and bore the
  • parting from her husband with quite a Spartan equanimity. Indeed
  • Captain Rawdon himself was much more affected at the leave-taking than
  • the resolute little woman to whom he bade farewell. She had mastered
  • this rude coarse nature; and he loved and worshipped her with all his
  • faculties of regard and admiration. In all his life he had never been
  • so happy, as, during the past few months, his wife had made him. All
  • former delights of turf, mess, hunting-field, and gambling-table; all
  • previous loves and courtships of milliners, opera-dancers, and the like
  • easy triumphs of the clumsy military Adonis, were quite insipid when
  • compared to the lawful matrimonial pleasures which of late he had
  • enjoyed. She had known perpetually how to divert him; and he had found
  • his house and her society a thousand times more pleasant than any place
  • or company which he had ever frequented from his childhood until now.
  • And he cursed his past follies and extravagances, and bemoaned his vast
  • outlying debts above all, which must remain for ever as obstacles to
  • prevent his wife's advancement in the world. He had often groaned over
  • these in midnight conversations with Rebecca, although as a bachelor
  • they had never given him any disquiet. He himself was struck with this
  • phenomenon. "Hang it," he would say (or perhaps use a still stronger
  • expression out of his simple vocabulary), "before I was married I
  • didn't care what bills I put my name to, and so long as Moses would
  • wait or Levy would renew for three months, I kept on never minding.
  • But since I'm married, except renewing, of course, I give you my honour
  • I've not touched a bit of stamped paper."
  • Rebecca always knew how to conjure away these moods of melancholy.
  • "Why, my stupid love," she would say, "we have not done with your aunt
  • yet. If she fails us, isn't there what you call the Gazette? or, stop,
  • when your uncle Bute's life drops, I have another scheme. The living
  • has always belonged to the younger brother, and why shouldn't you sell
  • out and go into the Church?" The idea of this conversion set Rawdon
  • into roars of laughter: you might have heard the explosion through the
  • hotel at midnight, and the haw-haws of the great dragoon's voice.
  • General Tufto heard him from his quarters on the first floor above
  • them; and Rebecca acted the scene with great spirit, and preached
  • Rawdon's first sermon, to the immense delight of the General at
  • breakfast.
  • But these were mere by-gone days and talk. When the final news arrived
  • that the campaign was opened, and the troops were to march, Rawdon's
  • gravity became such that Becky rallied him about it in a manner which
  • rather hurt the feelings of the Guardsman. "You don't suppose I'm
  • afraid, Becky, I should think," he said, with a tremor in his voice.
  • "But I'm a pretty good mark for a shot, and you see if it brings me
  • down, why I leave one and perhaps two behind me whom I should wish to
  • provide for, as I brought 'em into the scrape. It is no laughing
  • matter that, Mrs. C., anyways."
  • Rebecca by a hundred caresses and kind words tried to soothe the
  • feelings of the wounded lover. It was only when her vivacity and sense
  • of humour got the better of this sprightly creature (as they would do
  • under most circumstances of life indeed) that she would break out with
  • her satire, but she could soon put on a demure face. "Dearest love,"
  • she said, "do you suppose I feel nothing?" and hastily dashing
  • something from her eyes, she looked up in her husband's face with a
  • smile.
  • "Look here," said he. "If I drop, let us see what there is for you. I
  • have had a pretty good run of luck here, and here's two hundred and
  • thirty pounds. I have got ten Napoleons in my pocket. That is as much
  • as I shall want; for the General pays everything like a prince; and if
  • I'm hit, why you know I cost nothing. Don't cry, little woman; I may
  • live to vex you yet. Well, I shan't take either of my horses, but
  • shall ride the General's grey charger: it's cheaper, and I told him
  • mine was lame. If I'm done, those two ought to fetch you something.
  • Grigg offered ninety for the mare yesterday, before this confounded
  • news came, and like a fool I wouldn't let her go under the two o's.
  • Bullfinch will fetch his price any day, only you'd better sell him in
  • this country, because the dealers have so many bills of mine, and so
  • I'd rather he shouldn't go back to England. Your little mare the
  • General gave you will fetch something, and there's no d--d livery
  • stable bills here as there are in London," Rawdon added, with a laugh.
  • "There's that dressing-case cost me two hundred--that is, I owe two for
  • it; and the gold tops and bottles must be worth thirty or forty.
  • Please to put THAT up the spout, ma'am, with my pins, and rings, and
  • watch and chain, and things. They cost a precious lot of money. Miss
  • Crawley, I know, paid a hundred down for the chain and ticker. Gold
  • tops and bottles, indeed! dammy, I'm sorry I didn't take more now.
  • Edwards pressed on me a silver-gilt boot-jack, and I might have had a
  • dressing-case fitted up with a silver warming-pan, and a service of
  • plate. But we must make the best of what we've got, Becky, you know."
  • And so, making his last dispositions, Captain Crawley, who had seldom
  • thought about anything but himself, until the last few months of his
  • life, when Love had obtained the mastery over the dragoon, went through
  • the various items of his little catalogue of effects, striving to see
  • how they might be turned into money for his wife's benefit, in case any
  • accident should befall him. He pleased himself by noting down with a
  • pencil, in his big schoolboy handwriting, the various items of his
  • portable property which might be sold for his widow's advantage as, for
  • example, "My double-barril by Manton, say 40 guineas; my driving cloak,
  • lined with sable fur, 50 pounds; my duelling pistols in rosewood case
  • (same which I shot Captain Marker), 20 pounds; my regulation
  • saddle-holsters and housings; my Laurie ditto," and so forth, over all
  • of which articles he made Rebecca the mistress.
  • Faithful to his plan of economy, the Captain dressed himself in his
  • oldest and shabbiest uniform and epaulets, leaving the newest behind,
  • under his wife's (or it might be his widow's) guardianship. And this
  • famous dandy of Windsor and Hyde Park went off on his campaign with a
  • kit as modest as that of a sergeant, and with something like a prayer
  • on his lips for the woman he was leaving. He took her up from the
  • ground, and held her in his arms for a minute, tight pressed against
  • his strong-beating heart. His face was purple and his eyes dim, as he
  • put her down and left her. He rode by his General's side, and smoked
  • his cigar in silence as they hastened after the troops of the General's
  • brigade, which preceded them; and it was not until they were some miles
  • on their way that he left off twirling his moustache and broke silence.
  • And Rebecca, as we have said, wisely determined not to give way to
  • unavailing sentimentality on her husband's departure. She waved him an
  • adieu from the window, and stood there for a moment looking out after
  • he was gone. The cathedral towers and the full gables of the quaint old
  • houses were just beginning to blush in the sunrise. There had been no
  • rest for her that night. She was still in her pretty ball-dress, her
  • fair hair hanging somewhat out of curl on her neck, and the circles
  • round her eyes dark with watching. "What a fright I seem," she said,
  • examining herself in the glass, "and how pale this pink makes one
  • look!" So she divested herself of this pink raiment; in doing which a
  • note fell out from her corsage, which she picked up with a smile, and
  • locked into her dressing-box. And then she put her bouquet of the ball
  • into a glass of water, and went to bed, and slept very comfortably.
  • The town was quite quiet when she woke up at ten o'clock, and partook
  • of coffee, very requisite and comforting after the exhaustion and grief
  • of the morning's occurrences.
  • This meal over, she resumed honest Rawdon's calculations of the night
  • previous, and surveyed her position. Should the worst befall, all
  • things considered, she was pretty well to do. There were her own
  • trinkets and trousseau, in addition to those which her husband had left
  • behind. Rawdon's generosity, when they were first married, has already
  • been described and lauded. Besides these, and the little mare, the
  • General, her slave and worshipper, had made her many very handsome
  • presents, in the shape of cashmere shawls bought at the auction of a
  • bankrupt French general's lady, and numerous tributes from the
  • jewellers' shops, all of which betokened her admirer's taste and
  • wealth. As for "tickers," as poor Rawdon called watches, her
  • apartments were alive with their clicking. For, happening to mention
  • one night that hers, which Rawdon had given to her, was of English
  • workmanship, and went ill, on the very next morning there came to her a
  • little bijou marked Leroy, with a chain and cover charmingly set with
  • turquoises, and another signed Brequet, which was covered with pearls,
  • and yet scarcely bigger than a half-crown. General Tufto had bought
  • one, and Captain Osborne had gallantly presented the other. Mrs.
  • Osborne had no watch, though, to do George justice, she might have had
  • one for the asking, and the Honourable Mrs. Tufto in England had an old
  • instrument of her mother's that might have served for the plate-warming
  • pan which Rawdon talked about. If Messrs. Howell and James were to
  • publish a list of the purchasers of all the trinkets which they sell,
  • how surprised would some families be: and if all these ornaments went
  • to gentlemen's lawful wives and daughters, what a profusion of
  • jewellery there would be exhibited in the genteelest homes of Vanity
  • Fair!
  • Every calculation made of these valuables Mrs. Rebecca found, not
  • without a pungent feeling of triumph and self-satisfaction, that should
  • circumstances occur, she might reckon on six or seven hundred pounds at
  • the very least, to begin the world with; and she passed the morning
  • disposing, ordering, looking out, and locking up her properties in the
  • most agreeable manner. Among the notes in Rawdon's pocket-book was a
  • draft for twenty pounds on Osborne's banker. This made her think about
  • Mrs. Osborne. "I will go and get the draft cashed," she said, "and pay
  • a visit afterwards to poor little Emmy." If this is a novel without a
  • hero, at least let us lay claim to a heroine. No man in the British
  • army which has marched away, not the great Duke himself, could be more
  • cool or collected in the presence of doubts and difficulties, than the
  • indomitable little aide-de-camp's wife.
  • And there was another of our acquaintances who was also to be left
  • behind, a non-combatant, and whose emotions and behaviour we have
  • therefore a right to know. This was our friend the ex-collector of
  • Boggley Wollah, whose rest was broken, like other people's, by the
  • sounding of the bugles in the early morning. Being a great sleeper,
  • and fond of his bed, it is possible he would have snoozed on until his
  • usual hour of rising in the forenoon, in spite of all the drums,
  • bugles, and bagpipes in the British army, but for an interruption,
  • which did not come from George Osborne, who shared Jos's quarters with
  • him, and was as usual occupied too much with his own affairs or with
  • grief at parting with his wife, to think of taking leave of his
  • slumbering brother-in-law--it was not George, we say, who interposed
  • between Jos Sedley and sleep, but Captain Dobbin, who came and roused
  • him up, insisting on shaking hands with him before his departure.
  • "Very kind of you," said Jos, yawning, and wishing the Captain at the
  • deuce.
  • "I--I didn't like to go off without saying good-bye, you know," Dobbin
  • said in a very incoherent manner; "because you know some of us mayn't
  • come back again, and I like to see you all well, and--and that sort of
  • thing, you know."
  • "What do you mean?" Jos asked, rubbing his eyes. The Captain did not
  • in the least hear him or look at the stout gentleman in the nightcap,
  • about whom he professed to have such a tender interest. The hypocrite
  • was looking and listening with all his might in the direction of
  • George's apartments, striding about the room, upsetting the chairs,
  • beating the tattoo, biting his nails, and showing other signs of great
  • inward emotion.
  • Jos had always had rather a mean opinion of the Captain, and now began
  • to think his courage was somewhat equivocal. "What is it I can do for
  • you, Dobbin?" he said, in a sarcastic tone.
  • "I tell you what you can do," the Captain replied, coming up to the
  • bed; "we march in a quarter of an hour, Sedley, and neither George nor
  • I may ever come back. Mind you, you are not to stir from this town
  • until you ascertain how things go. You are to stay here and watch over
  • your sister, and comfort her, and see that no harm comes to her. If
  • anything happens to George, remember she has no one but you in the
  • world to look to. If it goes wrong with the army, you'll see her safe
  • back to England; and you will promise me on your word that you will
  • never desert her. I know you won't: as far as money goes, you were
  • always free enough with that. Do you want any? I mean, have you enough
  • gold to take you back to England in case of a misfortune?"
  • "Sir," said Jos, majestically, "when I want money, I know where to ask
  • for it. And as for my sister, you needn't tell me how I ought to
  • behave to her."
  • "You speak like a man of spirit, Jos," the other answered good-naturedly,
  • "and I am glad that George can leave her in such good hands.
  • So I may give him your word of honour, may I, that in case of extremity
  • you will stand by her?"
  • "Of course, of course," answered Mr. Jos, whose generosity in money
  • matters Dobbin estimated quite correctly.
  • "And you'll see her safe out of Brussels in the event of a defeat?"
  • "A defeat! D---- it, sir, it's impossible. Don't try and frighten ME,"
  • the hero cried from his bed; and Dobbin's mind was thus perfectly set
  • at ease now that Jos had spoken out so resolutely respecting his
  • conduct to his sister. "At least," thought the Captain, "there will be
  • a retreat secured for her in case the worst should ensue."
  • If Captain Dobbin expected to get any personal comfort and satisfaction
  • from having one more view of Amelia before the regiment marched away,
  • his selfishness was punished just as such odious egotism deserved to
  • be. The door of Jos's bedroom opened into the sitting-room which was
  • common to the family party, and opposite this door was that of Amelia's
  • chamber. The bugles had wakened everybody: there was no use in
  • concealment now. George's servant was packing in this room: Osborne
  • coming in and out of the contiguous bedroom, flinging to the man such
  • articles as he thought fit to carry on the campaign. And presently
  • Dobbin had the opportunity which his heart coveted, and he got sight of
  • Amelia's face once more. But what a face it was! So white, so wild
  • and despair-stricken, that the remembrance of it haunted him afterwards
  • like a crime, and the sight smote him with inexpressible pangs of
  • longing and pity.
  • She was wrapped in a white morning dress, her hair falling on her
  • shoulders, and her large eyes fixed and without light. By way of
  • helping on the preparations for the departure, and showing that she too
  • could be useful at a moment so critical, this poor soul had taken up a
  • sash of George's from the drawers whereon it lay, and followed him to
  • and fro with the sash in her hand, looking on mutely as his packing
  • proceeded. She came out and stood, leaning at the wall, holding this
  • sash against her bosom, from which the heavy net of crimson dropped
  • like a large stain of blood. Our gentle-hearted Captain felt a guilty
  • shock as he looked at her. "Good God," thought he, "and is it grief
  • like this I dared to pry into?" And there was no help: no means to
  • soothe and comfort this helpless, speechless misery. He stood for a
  • moment and looked at her, powerless and torn with pity, as a parent
  • regards an infant in pain.
  • At last, George took Emmy's hand, and led her back into the bedroom,
  • from whence he came out alone. The parting had taken place in that
  • moment, and he was gone.
  • "Thank Heaven that is over," George thought, bounding down the stair,
  • his sword under his arm, as he ran swiftly to the alarm ground, where
  • the regiment was mustered, and whither trooped men and officers
  • hurrying from their billets; his pulse was throbbing and his cheeks
  • flushed: the great game of war was going to be played, and he one of
  • the players. What a fierce excitement of doubt, hope, and pleasure!
  • What tremendous hazards of loss or gain! What were all the games of
  • chance he had ever played compared to this one? Into all contests
  • requiring athletic skill and courage, the young man, from his boyhood
  • upwards, had flung himself with all his might. The champion of his
  • school and his regiment, the bravos of his companions had followed him
  • everywhere; from the boys' cricket-match to the garrison-races, he had
  • won a hundred of triumphs; and wherever he went women and men had
  • admired and envied him. What qualities are there for which a man gets
  • so speedy a return of applause, as those of bodily superiority,
  • activity, and valour? Time out of mind strength and courage have been
  • the theme of bards and romances; and from the story of Troy down to
  • to-day, poetry has always chosen a soldier for a hero. I wonder is it
  • because men are cowards in heart that they admire bravery so much, and
  • place military valour so far beyond every other quality for reward and
  • worship?
  • So, at the sound of that stirring call to battle, George jumped away
  • from the gentle arms in which he had been dallying; not without a
  • feeling of shame (although his wife's hold on him had been but feeble),
  • that he should have been detained there so long. The same feeling of
  • eagerness and excitement was amongst all those friends of his of whom
  • we have had occasional glimpses, from the stout senior Major, who led
  • the regiment into action, to little Stubble, the Ensign, who was to
  • bear its colours on that day.
  • The sun was just rising as the march began--it was a gallant sight--the
  • band led the column, playing the regimental march--then came the
  • Major in command, riding upon Pyramus, his stout charger--then marched
  • the grenadiers, their Captain at their head; in the centre were the
  • colours, borne by the senior and junior Ensigns--then George came
  • marching at the head of his company. He looked up, and smiled at
  • Amelia, and passed on; and even the sound of the music died away.
  • CHAPTER XXXI
  • In Which Jos Sedley Takes Care of His Sister
  • Thus all the superior officers being summoned on duty elsewhere, Jos
  • Sedley was left in command of the little colony at Brussels, with
  • Amelia invalided, Isidor, his Belgian servant, and the bonne, who was
  • maid-of-all-work for the establishment, as a garrison under him. Though
  • he was disturbed in spirit, and his rest destroyed by Dobbin's
  • interruption and the occurrences of the morning, Jos nevertheless
  • remained for many hours in bed, wakeful and rolling about there until
  • his usual hour of rising had arrived. The sun was high in the heavens,
  • and our gallant friends of the --th miles on their march, before the
  • civilian appeared in his flowered dressing-gown at breakfast.
  • About George's absence, his brother-in-law was very easy in mind.
  • Perhaps Jos was rather pleased in his heart that Osborne was gone, for
  • during George's presence, the other had played but a very secondary
  • part in the household, and Osborne did not scruple to show his contempt
  • for the stout civilian. But Emmy had always been good and attentive to
  • him. It was she who ministered to his comforts, who superintended the
  • dishes that he liked, who walked or rode with him (as she had many, too
  • many, opportunities of doing, for where was George?) and who interposed
  • her sweet face between his anger and her husband's scorn. Many timid
  • remonstrances had she uttered to George in behalf of her brother, but
  • the former in his trenchant way cut these entreaties short. "I'm an
  • honest man," he said, "and if I have a feeling I show it, as an honest
  • man will. How the deuce, my dear, would you have me behave
  • respectfully to such a fool as your brother?" So Jos was pleased with
  • George's absence. His plain hat, and gloves on a sideboard, and the
  • idea that the owner was away, caused Jos I don't know what secret
  • thrill of pleasure. "HE won't be troubling me this morning," Jos
  • thought, "with his dandified airs and his impudence."
  • "Put the Captain's hat into the ante-room," he said to Isidor, the
  • servant.
  • "Perhaps he won't want it again," replied the lackey, looking knowingly
  • at his master. He hated George too, whose insolence towards him was
  • quite of the English sort.
  • "And ask if Madame is coming to breakfast," Mr. Sedley said with great
  • majesty, ashamed to enter with a servant upon the subject of his
  • dislike for George. The truth is, he had abused his brother to the
  • valet a score of times before.
  • Alas! Madame could not come to breakfast, and cut the tartines that
  • Mr. Jos liked. Madame was a great deal too ill, and had been in a
  • frightful state ever since her husband's departure, so her bonne said.
  • Jos showed his sympathy by pouring her out a large cup of tea It was
  • his way of exhibiting kindness: and he improved on this; he not only
  • sent her breakfast, but he bethought him what delicacies she would most
  • like for dinner.
  • Isidor, the valet, had looked on very sulkily, while Osborne's servant
  • was disposing of his master's baggage previous to the Captain's
  • departure: for in the first place he hated Mr. Osborne, whose conduct
  • to him, and to all inferiors, was generally overbearing (nor does the
  • continental domestic like to be treated with insolence as our own
  • better-tempered servants do), and secondly, he was angry that so many
  • valuables should be removed from under his hands, to fall into other
  • people's possession when the English discomfiture should arrive. Of
  • this defeat he and a vast number of other persons in Brussels and
  • Belgium did not make the slightest doubt. The almost universal belief
  • was, that the Emperor would divide the Prussian and English armies,
  • annihilate one after the other, and march into Brussels before three
  • days were over: when all the movables of his present masters, who would
  • be killed, or fugitives, or prisoners, would lawfully become the
  • property of Monsieur Isidor.
  • As he helped Jos through his toilsome and complicated daily toilette,
  • this faithful servant would calculate what he should do with the very
  • articles with which he was decorating his master's person. He would
  • make a present of the silver essence-bottles and toilet knicknacks to a
  • young lady of whom he was fond; and keep the English cutlery and the
  • large ruby pin for himself. It would look very smart upon one of the
  • fine frilled shirts, which, with the gold-laced cap and the frogged
  • frock coat, that might easily be cut down to suit his shape, and the
  • Captain's gold-headed cane, and the great double ring with the rubies,
  • which he would have made into a pair of beautiful earrings, he
  • calculated would make a perfect Adonis of himself, and render
  • Mademoiselle Reine an easy prey. "How those sleeve-buttons will suit
  • me!" thought he, as he fixed a pair on the fat pudgy wrists of Mr.
  • Sedley. "I long for sleeve-buttons; and the Captain's boots with brass
  • spurs, in the next room, corbleu! what an effect they will make in the
  • Allee Verte!" So while Monsieur Isidor with bodily fingers was holding
  • on to his master's nose, and shaving the lower part of Jos's face, his
  • imagination was rambling along the Green Avenue, dressed out in a
  • frogged coat and lace, and in company with Mademoiselle Reine; he was
  • loitering in spirit on the banks, and examining the barges sailing
  • slowly under the cool shadows of the trees by the canal, or refreshing
  • himself with a mug of Faro at the bench of a beer-house on the road to
  • Laeken.
  • But Mr. Joseph Sedley, luckily for his own peace, no more knew what was
  • passing in his domestic's mind than the respected reader, and I suspect
  • what John or Mary, whose wages we pay, think of ourselves. What our
  • servants think of us!--Did we know what our intimates and dear
  • relations thought of us, we should live in a world that we should be
  • glad to quit, and in a frame of mind and a constant terror, that would
  • be perfectly unbearable. So Jos's man was marking his victim down, as
  • you see one of Mr. Paynter's assistants in Leadenhall Street ornament
  • an unconscious turtle with a placard on which is written, "Soup
  • to-morrow."
  • Amelia's attendant was much less selfishly disposed. Few dependents
  • could come near that kind and gentle creature without paying their
  • usual tribute of loyalty and affection to her sweet and affectionate
  • nature. And it is a fact that Pauline, the cook, consoled her mistress
  • more than anybody whom she saw on this wretched morning; for when she
  • found how Amelia remained for hours, silent, motionless, and haggard,
  • by the windows in which she had placed herself to watch the last
  • bayonets of the column as it marched away, the honest girl took the
  • lady's hand, and said, Tenez, Madame, est-ce qu'il n'est pas aussi a
  • l'armee, mon homme a moi? with which she burst into tears, and Amelia
  • falling into her arms, did likewise, and so each pitied and soothed the
  • other.
  • Several times during the forenoon Mr. Jos's Isidor went from his
  • lodgings into the town, and to the gates of the hotels and lodging-houses
  • round about the Parc, where the English were congregated, and
  • there mingled with other valets, couriers, and lackeys, gathered such
  • news as was abroad, and brought back bulletins for his master's
  • information. Almost all these gentlemen were in heart partisans of the
  • Emperor, and had their opinions about the speedy end of the campaign.
  • The Emperor's proclamation from Avesnes had been distributed everywhere
  • plentifully in Brussels. "Soldiers!" it said, "this is the
  • anniversary of Marengo and Friedland, by which the destinies of Europe
  • were twice decided. Then, as after Austerlitz, as after Wagram, we
  • were too generous. We believed in the oaths and promises of princes
  • whom we suffered to remain upon their thrones. Let us march once more
  • to meet them. We and they, are we not still the same men? Soldiers!
  • these same Prussians who are so arrogant to-day, were three to one
  • against you at Jena, and six to one at Montmirail. Those among you who
  • were prisoners in England can tell their comrades what frightful
  • torments they suffered on board the English hulks. Madmen! a moment
  • of prosperity has blinded them, and if they enter into France it will
  • be to find a grave there!" But the partisans of the French prophesied
  • a more speedy extermination of the Emperor's enemies than this; and it
  • was agreed on all hands that Prussians and British would never return
  • except as prisoners in the rear of the conquering army.
  • These opinions in the course of the day were brought to operate upon
  • Mr. Sedley. He was told that the Duke of Wellington had gone to try
  • and rally his army, the advance of which had been utterly crushed the
  • night before.
  • "Crushed, psha!" said Jos, whose heart was pretty stout at
  • breakfast-time. "The Duke has gone to beat the Emperor as he has
  • beaten all his generals before."
  • "His papers are burned, his effects are removed, and his quarters are
  • being got ready for the Duke of Dalmatia," Jos's informant replied. "I
  • had it from his own maitre d'hotel. Milor Duc de Richemont's people
  • are packing up everything. His Grace has fled already, and the Duchess
  • is only waiting to see the plate packed to join the King of France at
  • Ostend."
  • "The King of France is at Ghent, fellow," replied Jos, affecting
  • incredulity.
  • "He fled last night to Bruges, and embarks today from Ostend. The Duc
  • de Berri is taken prisoner. Those who wish to be safe had better go
  • soon, for the dykes will be opened to-morrow, and who can fly when the
  • whole country is under water?"
  • "Nonsense, sir, we are three to one, sir, against any force Boney can
  • bring into the field," Mr. Sedley objected; "the Austrians and the
  • Russians are on their march. He must, he shall be crushed," Jos said,
  • slapping his hand on the table.
  • "The Prussians were three to one at Jena, and he took their army and
  • kingdom in a week. They were six to one at Montmirail, and he
  • scattered them like sheep. The Austrian army is coming, but with the
  • Empress and the King of Rome at its head; and the Russians, bah! the
  • Russians will withdraw. No quarter is to be given to the English, on
  • account of their cruelty to our braves on board the infamous pontoons.
  • Look here, here it is in black and white. Here's the proclamation of
  • his Majesty the Emperor and King," said the now declared partisan of
  • Napoleon, and taking the document from his pocket, Isidor sternly
  • thrust it into his master's face, and already looked upon the frogged
  • coat and valuables as his own spoil.
  • Jos was, if not seriously alarmed as yet, at least considerably
  • disturbed in mind. "Give me my coat and cap, sir," said he, "and follow
  • me. I will go myself and learn the truth of these reports." Isidor was
  • furious as Jos put on the braided frock. "Milor had better not wear
  • that military coat," said he; "the Frenchmen have sworn not to give
  • quarter to a single British soldier."
  • "Silence, sirrah!" said Jos, with a resolute countenance still, and
  • thrust his arm into the sleeve with indomitable resolution, in the
  • performance of which heroic act he was found by Mrs. Rawdon Crawley,
  • who at this juncture came up to visit Amelia, and entered without
  • ringing at the antechamber door.
  • Rebecca was dressed very neatly and smartly, as usual: her quiet sleep
  • after Rawdon's departure had refreshed her, and her pink smiling cheeks
  • were quite pleasant to look at, in a town and on a day when everybody
  • else's countenance wore the appearance of the deepest anxiety and
  • gloom. She laughed at the attitude in which Jos was discovered, and
  • the struggles and convulsions with which the stout gentleman thrust
  • himself into the braided coat.
  • "Are you preparing to join the army, Mr. Joseph?" she said. "Is there
  • to be nobody left in Brussels to protect us poor women?" Jos succeeded
  • in plunging into the coat, and came forward blushing and stuttering out
  • excuses to his fair visitor. "How was she after the events of the
  • morning--after the fatigues of the ball the night before?" Monsieur
  • Isidor disappeared into his master's adjacent bedroom, bearing off the
  • flowered dressing-gown.
  • "How good of you to ask," said she, pressing one of his hands in both
  • her own. "How cool and collected you look when everybody else is
  • frightened! How is our dear little Emmy? It must have been an awful,
  • awful parting."
  • "Tremendous," Jos said.
  • "You men can bear anything," replied the lady. "Parting or danger are
  • nothing to you. Own now that you were going to join the army and leave
  • us to our fate. I know you were--something tells me you were. I was so
  • frightened, when the thought came into my head (for I do sometimes
  • think of you when I am alone, Mr. Joseph), that I ran off immediately
  • to beg and entreat you not to fly from us."
  • This speech might be interpreted, "My dear sir, should an accident
  • befall the army, and a retreat be necessary, you have a very
  • comfortable carriage, in which I propose to take a seat." I don't know
  • whether Jos understood the words in this sense. But he was profoundly
  • mortified by the lady's inattention to him during their stay at
  • Brussels. He had never been presented to any of Rawdon Crawley's great
  • acquaintances: he had scarcely been invited to Rebecca's parties; for
  • he was too timid to play much, and his presence bored George and Rawdon
  • equally, who neither of them, perhaps, liked to have a witness of the
  • amusements in which the pair chose to indulge. "Ah!" thought Jos, "now
  • she wants me she comes to me. When there is nobody else in the way she
  • can think about old Joseph Sedley!" But besides these doubts he felt
  • flattered at the idea Rebecca expressed of his courage.
  • He blushed a good deal, and put on an air of importance. "I should like
  • to see the action," he said. "Every man of any spirit would, you know.
  • I've seen a little service in India, but nothing on this grand scale."
  • "You men would sacrifice anything for a pleasure," Rebecca answered.
  • "Captain Crawley left me this morning as gay as if he were going to a
  • hunting party. What does he care? What do any of you care for the
  • agonies and tortures of a poor forsaken woman? (I wonder whether he
  • could really have been going to the troops, this great lazy gourmand?)
  • Oh! dear Mr. Sedley, I have come to you for comfort--for consolation.
  • I have been on my knees all the morning. I tremble at the frightful
  • danger into which our husbands, our friends, our brave troops and
  • allies, are rushing. And I come here for shelter, and find another of
  • my friends--the last remaining to me--bent upon plunging into the
  • dreadful scene!"
  • "My dear madam," Jos replied, now beginning to be quite soothed, "don't
  • be alarmed. I only said I should like to go--what Briton would not?
  • But my duty keeps me here: I can't leave that poor creature in the
  • next room." And he pointed with his finger to the door of the chamber
  • in which Amelia was.
  • "Good noble brother!" Rebecca said, putting her handkerchief to her
  • eyes, and smelling the eau-de-cologne with which it was scented. "I
  • have done you injustice: you have got a heart. I thought you had not."
  • "O, upon my honour!" Jos said, making a motion as if he would lay his
  • hand upon the spot in question. "You do me injustice, indeed you
  • do--my dear Mrs. Crawley."
  • "I do, now your heart is true to your sister. But I remember two years
  • ago--when it was false to me!" Rebecca said, fixing her eyes upon him
  • for an instant, and then turning away into the window.
  • Jos blushed violently. That organ which he was accused by Rebecca of
  • not possessing began to thump tumultuously. He recalled the days when
  • he had fled from her, and the passion which had once inflamed him--the
  • days when he had driven her in his curricle: when she had knit the
  • green purse for him: when he had sate enraptured gazing at her white
  • arms and bright eyes.
  • "I know you think me ungrateful," Rebecca continued, coming out of the
  • window, and once more looking at him and addressing him in a low
  • tremulous voice. "Your coldness, your averted looks, your manner when
  • we have met of late--when I came in just now, all proved it to me. But
  • were there no reasons why I should avoid you? Let your own heart answer
  • that question. Do you think my husband was too much inclined to
  • welcome you? The only unkind words I have ever had from him (I will do
  • Captain Crawley that justice) have been about you--and most cruel,
  • cruel words they were."
  • "Good gracious! what have I done?" asked Jos in a flurry of pleasure
  • and perplexity; "what have I done--to--to--?"
  • "Is jealousy nothing?" said Rebecca. "He makes me miserable about you.
  • And whatever it might have been once--my heart is all his. I am
  • innocent now. Am I not, Mr. Sedley?"
  • All Jos's blood tingled with delight, as he surveyed this victim to his
  • attractions. A few adroit words, one or two knowing tender glances of
  • the eyes, and his heart was inflamed again and his doubts and
  • suspicions forgotten. From Solomon downwards, have not wiser men than
  • he been cajoled and befooled by women? "If the worst comes to the
  • worst," Becky thought, "my retreat is secure; and I have a right-hand
  • seat in the barouche."
  • There is no knowing into what declarations of love and ardour the
  • tumultuous passions of Mr. Joseph might have led him, if Isidor the
  • valet had not made his reappearance at this minute, and begun to busy
  • himself about the domestic affairs. Jos, who was just going to gasp
  • out an avowal, choked almost with the emotion that he was obliged to
  • restrain. Rebecca too bethought her that it was time she should go in
  • and comfort her dearest Amelia. "Au revoir," she said, kissing her
  • hand to Mr. Joseph, and tapped gently at the door of his sister's
  • apartment. As she entered and closed the door on herself, he sank down
  • in a chair, and gazed and sighed and puffed portentously. "That coat
  • is very tight for Milor," Isidor said, still having his eye on the
  • frogs; but his master heard him not: his thoughts were elsewhere: now
  • glowing, maddening, upon the contemplation of the enchanting Rebecca:
  • anon shrinking guiltily before the vision of the jealous Rawdon
  • Crawley, with his curling, fierce mustachios, and his terrible duelling
  • pistols loaded and cocked.
  • Rebecca's appearance struck Amelia with terror, and made her shrink
  • back. It recalled her to the world and the remembrance of yesterday.
  • In the overpowering fears about to-morrow she had forgotten
  • Rebecca--jealousy--everything except that her husband was gone and was
  • in danger. Until this dauntless worldling came in and broke the spell,
  • and lifted the latch, we too have forborne to enter into that sad
  • chamber. How long had that poor girl been on her knees! what hours of
  • speechless prayer and bitter prostration had she passed there! The
  • war-chroniclers who write brilliant stories of fight and triumph
  • scarcely tell us of these. These are too mean parts of the pageant:
  • and you don't hear widows' cries or mothers' sobs in the midst of the
  • shouts and jubilation in the great Chorus of Victory. And yet when was
  • the time that such have not cried out: heart-broken, humble
  • protestants, unheard in the uproar of the triumph!
  • After the first movement of terror in Amelia's mind--when Rebecca's
  • green eyes lighted upon her, and rustling in her fresh silks and
  • brilliant ornaments, the latter tripped up with extended arms to
  • embrace her--a feeling of anger succeeded, and from being deadly pale
  • before, her face flushed up red, and she returned Rebecca's look after
  • a moment with a steadiness which surprised and somewhat abashed her
  • rival.
  • "Dearest Amelia, you are very unwell," the visitor said, putting forth
  • her hand to take Amelia's. "What is it? I could not rest until I knew
  • how you were."
  • Amelia drew back her hand--never since her life began had that gentle
  • soul refused to believe or to answer any demonstration of good-will or
  • affection. But she drew back her hand, and trembled all over. "Why
  • are you here, Rebecca?" she said, still looking at her solemnly with
  • her large eyes. These glances troubled her visitor.
  • "She must have seen him give me the letter at the ball," Rebecca
  • thought. "Don't be agitated, dear Amelia," she said, looking down. "I
  • came but to see if I could--if you were well."
  • "Are you well?" said Amelia. "I dare say you are. You don't love your
  • husband. You would not be here if you did. Tell me, Rebecca, did I
  • ever do you anything but kindness?"
  • "Indeed, Amelia, no," the other said, still hanging down her head.
  • "When you were quite poor, who was it that befriended you? Was I not a
  • sister to you? You saw us all in happier days before he married me. I
  • was all in all then to him; or would he have given up his fortune, his
  • family, as he nobly did to make me happy? Why did you come between my
  • love and me? Who sent you to separate those whom God joined, and take
  • my darling's heart from me--my own husband? Do you think you could
  • love him as I did? His love was everything to me. You knew it, and
  • wanted to rob me of it. For shame, Rebecca; bad and wicked
  • woman--false friend and false wife."
  • "Amelia, I protest before God, I have done my husband no wrong,"
  • Rebecca said, turning from her.
  • "Have you done me no wrong, Rebecca? You did not succeed, but you
  • tried. Ask your heart if you did not."
  • She knows nothing, Rebecca thought.
  • "He came back to me. I knew he would. I knew that no falsehood, no
  • flattery, could keep him from me long. I knew he would come. I prayed
  • so that he should."
  • The poor girl spoke these words with a spirit and volubility which
  • Rebecca had never before seen in her, and before which the latter was
  • quite dumb. "But what have I done to you," she continued in a more
  • pitiful tone, "that you should try and take him from me? I had him but
  • for six weeks. You might have spared me those, Rebecca. And yet, from
  • the very first day of our wedding, you came and blighted it. Now he is
  • gone, are you come to see how unhappy I am?" she continued. "You made
  • me wretched enough for the past fortnight: you might have spared me
  • to-day."
  • "I--I never came here," interposed Rebecca, with unlucky truth.
  • "No. You didn't come. You took him away. Are you come to fetch him
  • from me?" she continued in a wilder tone. "He was here, but he is gone
  • now. There on that very sofa he sate. Don't touch it. We sate and
  • talked there. I was on his knee, and my arms were round his neck, and
  • we said 'Our Father.' Yes, he was here: and they came and took him
  • away, but he promised me to come back."
  • "He will come back, my dear," said Rebecca, touched in spite of herself.
  • "Look," said Amelia, "this is his sash--isn't it a pretty colour?" and
  • she took up the fringe and kissed it. She had tied it round her waist
  • at some part of the day. She had forgotten her anger, her jealousy,
  • the very presence of her rival seemingly. For she walked silently and
  • almost with a smile on her face, towards the bed, and began to smooth
  • down George's pillow.
  • Rebecca walked, too, silently away. "How is Amelia?" asked Jos, who
  • still held his position in the chair.
  • "There should be somebody with her," said Rebecca. "I think she is very
  • unwell": and she went away with a very grave face, refusing Mr.
  • Sedley's entreaties that she would stay and partake of the early dinner
  • which he had ordered.
  • Rebecca was of a good-natured and obliging disposition; and she liked
  • Amelia rather than otherwise. Even her hard words, reproachful as they
  • were, were complimentary--the groans of a person stinging under defeat.
  • Meeting Mrs. O'Dowd, whom the Dean's sermons had by no means comforted,
  • and who was walking very disconsolately in the Parc, Rebecca accosted
  • the latter, rather to the surprise of the Major's wife, who was not
  • accustomed to such marks of politeness from Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, and
  • informing her that poor little Mrs. Osborne was in a desperate
  • condition, and almost mad with grief, sent off the good-natured
  • Irishwoman straight to see if she could console her young favourite.
  • "I've cares of my own enough," Mrs. O'Dowd said, gravely, "and I
  • thought poor Amelia would be little wanting for company this day. But
  • if she's so bad as you say, and you can't attend to her, who used to be
  • so fond of her, faith I'll see if I can be of service. And so good
  • marning to ye, Madam"; with which speech and a toss of her head, the
  • lady of the repayther took a farewell of Mrs. Crawley, whose company
  • she by no means courted.
  • Becky watched her marching off, with a smile on her lip. She had the
  • keenest sense of humour, and the Parthian look which the retreating
  • Mrs. O'Dowd flung over her shoulder almost upset Mrs. Crawley's
  • gravity. "My service to ye, me fine Madam, and I'm glad to see ye so
  • cheerful," thought Peggy. "It's not YOU that will cry your eyes out
  • with grief, anyway." And with this she passed on, and speedily found
  • her way to Mrs. Osborne's lodgings.
  • The poor soul was still at the bedside, where Rebecca had left her, and
  • stood almost crazy with grief. The Major's wife, a stronger-minded
  • woman, endeavoured her best to comfort her young friend. "You must bear
  • up, Amelia, dear," she said kindly, "for he mustn't find you ill when
  • he sends for you after the victory. It's not you are the only woman
  • that are in the hands of God this day."
  • "I know that. I am very wicked, very weak," Amelia said. She knew her
  • own weakness well enough. The presence of the more resolute friend
  • checked it, however; and she was the better of this control and
  • company. They went on till two o'clock; their hearts were with the
  • column as it marched farther and farther away. Dreadful doubt and
  • anguish--prayers and fears and griefs unspeakable--followed the
  • regiment. It was the women's tribute to the war. It taxes both alike,
  • and takes the blood of the men, and the tears of the women.
  • At half-past two, an event occurred of daily importance to Mr. Joseph:
  • the dinner-hour arrived. Warriors may fight and perish, but he must
  • dine. He came into Amelia's room to see if he could coax her to share
  • that meal. "Try," said he; "the soup is very good. Do try, Emmy," and
  • he kissed her hand. Except when she was married, he had not done so
  • much for years before. "You are very good and kind, Joseph," she said.
  • "Everybody is, but, if you please, I will stay in my room to-day."
  • The savour of the soup, however, was agreeable to Mrs. O'Dowd's
  • nostrils: and she thought she would bear Mr. Jos company. So the two
  • sate down to their meal. "God bless the meat," said the Major's wife,
  • solemnly: she was thinking of her honest Mick, riding at the head of
  • his regiment: "'Tis but a bad dinner those poor boys will get to-day,"
  • she said, with a sigh, and then, like a philosopher, fell to.
  • Jos's spirits rose with his meal. He would drink the regiment's
  • health; or, indeed, take any other excuse to indulge in a glass of
  • champagne. "We'll drink to O'Dowd and the brave --th," said he, bowing
  • gallantly to his guest. "Hey, Mrs. O'Dowd? Fill Mrs. O'Dowd's glass,
  • Isidor."
  • But all of a sudden, Isidor started, and the Major's wife laid down her
  • knife and fork. The windows of the room were open, and looked
  • southward, and a dull distant sound came over the sun-lighted roofs
  • from that direction. "What is it?" said Jos. "Why don't you pour, you
  • rascal?"
  • "Cest le feu!" said Isidor, running to the balcony.
  • "God defend us; it's cannon!" Mrs. O'Dowd cried, starting up, and
  • followed too to the window. A thousand pale and anxious faces might
  • have been seen looking from other casements. And presently it seemed
  • as if the whole population of the city rushed into the streets.
  • CHAPTER XXXII
  • In Which Jos Takes Flight, and the War Is Brought to a Close
  • We of peaceful London City have never beheld--and please God never
  • shall witness--such a scene of hurry and alarm, as that which Brussels
  • presented. Crowds rushed to the Namur gate, from which direction the
  • noise proceeded, and many rode along the level chaussee, to be in
  • advance of any intelligence from the army. Each man asked his
  • neighbour for news; and even great English lords and ladies
  • condescended to speak to persons whom they did not know. The friends
  • of the French went abroad, wild with excitement, and prophesying the
  • triumph of their Emperor. The merchants closed their shops, and came
  • out to swell the general chorus of alarm and clamour. Women rushed to
  • the churches, and crowded the chapels, and knelt and prayed on the
  • flags and steps. The dull sound of the cannon went on rolling,
  • rolling. Presently carriages with travellers began to leave the town,
  • galloping away by the Ghent barrier. The prophecies of the French
  • partisans began to pass for facts. "He has cut the armies in two," it
  • was said. "He is marching straight on Brussels. He will overpower the
  • English, and be here to-night." "He will overpower the English,"
  • shrieked Isidor to his master, "and will be here to-night." The man
  • bounded in and out from the lodgings to the street, always returning
  • with some fresh particulars of disaster. Jos's face grew paler and
  • paler. Alarm began to take entire possession of the stout civilian.
  • All the champagne he drank brought no courage to him. Before sunset he
  • was worked up to such a pitch of nervousness as gratified his friend
  • Isidor to behold, who now counted surely upon the spoils of the owner
  • of the laced coat.
  • The women were away all this time. After hearing the firing for a
  • moment, the stout Major's wife bethought her of her friend in the next
  • chamber, and ran in to watch, and if possible to console, Amelia. The
  • idea that she had that helpless and gentle creature to protect, gave
  • additional strength to the natural courage of the honest Irishwoman.
  • She passed five hours by her friend's side, sometimes in remonstrance,
  • sometimes talking cheerfully, oftener in silence and terrified mental
  • supplication. "I never let go her hand once," said the stout lady
  • afterwards, "until after sunset, when the firing was over." Pauline,
  • the bonne, was on her knees at church hard by, praying for son homme a
  • elle.
  • When the noise of the cannonading was over, Mrs. O'Dowd issued out of
  • Amelia's room into the parlour adjoining, where Jos sate with two
  • emptied flasks, and courage entirely gone. Once or twice he had
  • ventured into his sister's bedroom, looking very much alarmed, and as
  • if he would say something. But the Major's wife kept her place, and he
  • went away without disburthening himself of his speech. He was ashamed
  • to tell her that he wanted to fly.
  • But when she made her appearance in the dining-room, where he sate in
  • the twilight in the cheerless company of his empty champagne bottles,
  • he began to open his mind to her.
  • "Mrs. O'Dowd," he said, "hadn't you better get Amelia ready?"
  • "Are you going to take her out for a walk?" said the Major's lady;
  • "sure she's too weak to stir."
  • "I--I've ordered the carriage," he said, "and--and post-horses; Isidor
  • is gone for them," Jos continued.
  • "What do you want with driving to-night?" answered the lady. "Isn't
  • she better on her bed? I've just got her to lie down."
  • "Get her up," said Jos; "she must get up, I say": and he stamped his
  • foot energetically. "I say the horses are ordered--yes, the horses are
  • ordered. It's all over, and--"
  • "And what?" asked Mrs. O'Dowd.
  • "I'm off for Ghent," Jos answered. "Everybody is going; there's a
  • place for you! We shall start in half-an-hour."
  • The Major's wife looked at him with infinite scorn. "I don't move till
  • O'Dowd gives me the route," said she. "You may go if you like, Mr.
  • Sedley; but, faith, Amelia and I stop here."
  • "She SHALL go," said Jos, with another stamp of his foot. Mrs. O'Dowd
  • put herself with arms akimbo before the bedroom door.
  • "Is it her mother you're going to take her to?" she said; "or do you
  • want to go to Mamma yourself, Mr. Sedley? Good marning--a pleasant
  • journey to ye, sir. Bon voyage, as they say, and take my counsel, and
  • shave off them mustachios, or they'll bring you into mischief."
  • "D--n!" yelled out Jos, wild with fear, rage, and mortification; and
  • Isidor came in at this juncture, swearing in his turn. "Pas de
  • chevaux, sacre bleu!" hissed out the furious domestic. All the horses
  • were gone. Jos was not the only man in Brussels seized with panic that
  • day.
  • But Jos's fears, great and cruel as they were already, were destined to
  • increase to an almost frantic pitch before the night was over. It has
  • been mentioned how Pauline, the bonne, had son homme a elle also in the
  • ranks of the army that had gone out to meet the Emperor Napoleon. This
  • lover was a native of Brussels, and a Belgian hussar. The troops of
  • his nation signalised themselves in this war for anything but courage,
  • and young Van Cutsum, Pauline's admirer, was too good a soldier to
  • disobey his Colonel's orders to run away. Whilst in garrison at
  • Brussels young Regulus (he had been born in the revolutionary times)
  • found his great comfort, and passed almost all his leisure moments, in
  • Pauline's kitchen; and it was with pockets and holsters crammed full of
  • good things from her larder, that he had take leave of his weeping
  • sweetheart, to proceed upon the campaign a few days before.
  • As far as his regiment was concerned, this campaign was over now. They
  • had formed a part of the division under the command of his Sovereign
  • apparent, the Prince of Orange, and as respected length of swords and
  • mustachios, and the richness of uniform and equipments, Regulus and his
  • comrades looked to be as gallant a body of men as ever trumpet sounded
  • for.
  • When Ney dashed upon the advance of the allied troops, carrying one
  • position after the other, until the arrival of the great body of the
  • British army from Brussels changed the aspect of the combat of Quatre
  • Bras, the squadrons among which Regulus rode showed the greatest
  • activity in retreating before the French, and were dislodged from one
  • post and another which they occupied with perfect alacrity on their
  • part. Their movements were only checked by the advance of the British
  • in their rear. Thus forced to halt, the enemy's cavalry (whose
  • bloodthirsty obstinacy cannot be too severely reprehended) had at
  • length an opportunity of coming to close quarters with the brave
  • Belgians before them; who preferred to encounter the British rather
  • than the French, and at once turning tail rode through the English
  • regiments that were behind them, and scattered in all directions. The
  • regiment in fact did not exist any more. It was nowhere. It had no
  • head-quarters. Regulus found himself galloping many miles from the
  • field of action, entirely alone; and whither should he fly for refuge
  • so naturally as to that kitchen and those faithful arms in which
  • Pauline had so often welcomed him?
  • At some ten o'clock the clinking of a sabre might have been heard up
  • the stair of the house where the Osbornes occupied a story in the
  • continental fashion. A knock might have been heard at the kitchen
  • door; and poor Pauline, come back from church, fainted almost with
  • terror as she opened it and saw before her her haggard hussar. He
  • looked as pale as the midnight dragoon who came to disturb Leonora.
  • Pauline would have screamed, but that her cry would have called her
  • masters, and discovered her friend. She stifled her scream, then, and
  • leading her hero into the kitchen, gave him beer, and the choice bits
  • from the dinner, which Jos had not had the heart to taste. The hussar
  • showed he was no ghost by the prodigious quantity of flesh and beer
  • which he devoured--and during the mouthfuls he told his tale of
  • disaster.
  • His regiment had performed prodigies of courage, and had withstood for
  • a while the onset of the whole French army. But they were overwhelmed
  • at last, as was the whole British army by this time. Ney destroyed each
  • regiment as it came up. The Belgians in vain interposed to prevent the
  • butchery of the English. The Brunswickers were routed and had
  • fled--their Duke was killed. It was a general debacle. He sought to
  • drown his sorrow for the defeat in floods of beer.
  • Isidor, who had come into the kitchen, heard the conversation and
  • rushed out to inform his master. "It is all over," he shrieked to Jos.
  • "Milor Duke is a prisoner; the Duke of Brunswick is killed; the British
  • army is in full flight; there is only one man escaped, and he is in the
  • kitchen now--come and hear him." So Jos tottered into that apartment
  • where Regulus still sate on the kitchen table, and clung fast to his
  • flagon of beer. In the best French which he could muster, and which
  • was in sooth of a very ungrammatical sort, Jos besought the hussar to
  • tell his tale. The disasters deepened as Regulus spoke. He was the
  • only man of his regiment not slain on the field. He had seen the Duke
  • of Brunswick fall, the black hussars fly, the Ecossais pounded down by
  • the cannon. "And the --th?" gasped Jos.
  • "Cut in pieces," said the hussar--upon which Pauline cried out, "O my
  • mistress, ma bonne petite dame," went off fairly into hysterics, and
  • filled the house with her screams.
  • Wild with terror, Mr. Sedley knew not how or where to seek for safety.
  • He rushed from the kitchen back to the sitting-room, and cast an
  • appealing look at Amelia's door, which Mrs. O'Dowd had closed and
  • locked in his face; but he remembered how scornfully the latter had
  • received him, and after pausing and listening for a brief space at the
  • door, he left it, and resolved to go into the street, for the first
  • time that day. So, seizing a candle, he looked about for his
  • gold-laced cap, and found it lying in its usual place, on a
  • console-table, in the anteroom, placed before a mirror at which Jos
  • used to coquet, always giving his side-locks a twirl, and his cap the
  • proper cock over his eye, before he went forth to make appearance in
  • public. Such is the force of habit, that even in the midst of his
  • terror he began mechanically to twiddle with his hair, and arrange the
  • cock of his hat. Then he looked amazed at the pale face in the glass
  • before him, and especially at his mustachios, which had attained a rich
  • growth in the course of near seven weeks, since they had come into the
  • world. They WILL mistake me for a military man, thought he,
  • remembering Isidor's warning as to the massacre with which all the
  • defeated British army was threatened; and staggering back to his
  • bedchamber, he began wildly pulling the bell which summoned his valet.
  • Isidor answered that summons. Jos had sunk in a chair--he had torn off
  • his neckcloths, and turned down his collars, and was sitting with both
  • his hands lifted to his throat.
  • "Coupez-moi, Isidor," shouted he; "vite! Coupez-moi!"
  • Isidor thought for a moment he had gone mad, and that he wished his
  • valet to cut his throat.
  • "Les moustaches," gasped Joe; "les moustaches--coupy, rasy, vite!"--his
  • French was of this sort--voluble, as we have said, but not
  • remarkable for grammar.
  • Isidor swept off the mustachios in no time with the razor, and heard
  • with inexpressible delight his master's orders that he should fetch a
  • hat and a plain coat. "Ne porty ploo--habit militair--bonn--bonny a
  • voo, prenny dehors"--were Jos's words--the coat and cap were at last
  • his property.
  • This gift being made, Jos selected a plain black coat and waistcoat
  • from his stock, and put on a large white neckcloth, and a plain beaver.
  • If he could have got a shovel hat he would have worn it. As it was, you
  • would have fancied he was a flourishing, large parson of the Church of
  • England.
  • "Venny maintenong," he continued, "sweevy--ally--party--dong la roo."
  • And so having said, he plunged swiftly down the stairs of the house,
  • and passed into the street.
  • Although Regulus had vowed that he was the only man of his regiment or
  • of the allied army, almost, who had escaped being cut to pieces by Ney,
  • it appeared that his statement was incorrect, and that a good number
  • more of the supposed victims had survived the massacre. Many scores of
  • Regulus's comrades had found their way back to Brussels, and all
  • agreeing that they had run away--filled the whole town with an idea of
  • the defeat of the allies. The arrival of the French was expected
  • hourly; the panic continued, and preparations for flight went on
  • everywhere. No horses! thought Jos, in terror. He made Isidor inquire
  • of scores of persons, whether they had any to lend or sell, and his
  • heart sank within him, at the negative answers returned everywhere.
  • Should he take the journey on foot? Even fear could not render that
  • ponderous body so active.
  • Almost all the hotels occupied by the English in Brussels face the
  • Parc, and Jos wandered irresolutely about in this quarter, with crowds
  • of other people, oppressed as he was by fear and curiosity. Some
  • families he saw more happy than himself, having discovered a team of
  • horses, and rattling through the streets in retreat; others again there
  • were whose case was like his own, and who could not for any bribes or
  • entreaties procure the necessary means of flight. Amongst these
  • would-be fugitives, Jos remarked the Lady Bareacres and her daughter,
  • who sate in their carriage in the porte-cochere of their hotel, all
  • their imperials packed, and the only drawback to whose flight was the
  • same want of motive power which kept Jos stationary.
  • Rebecca Crawley occupied apartments in this hotel; and had before this
  • period had sundry hostile meetings with the ladies of the Bareacres
  • family. My Lady Bareacres cut Mrs. Crawley on the stairs when they met
  • by chance; and in all places where the latter's name was mentioned,
  • spoke perseveringly ill of her neighbour. The Countess was shocked at
  • the familiarity of General Tufto with the aide-de-camp's wife. The
  • Lady Blanche avoided her as if she had been an infectious disease.
  • Only the Earl himself kept up a sly occasional acquaintance with her,
  • when out of the jurisdiction of his ladies.
  • Rebecca had her revenge now upon these insolent enemies. If became
  • known in the hotel that Captain Crawley's horses had been left behind,
  • and when the panic began, Lady Bareacres condescended to send her maid
  • to the Captain's wife with her Ladyship's compliments, and a desire to
  • know the price of Mrs. Crawley's horses. Mrs. Crawley returned a note
  • with her compliments, and an intimation that it was not her custom to
  • transact bargains with ladies' maids.
  • This curt reply brought the Earl in person to Becky's apartment; but he
  • could get no more success than the first ambassador. "Send a lady's
  • maid to ME!" Mrs. Crawley cried in great anger; "why didn't my Lady
  • Bareacres tell me to go and saddle the horses! Is it her Ladyship that
  • wants to escape, or her Ladyship's femme de chambre?" And this was all
  • the answer that the Earl bore back to his Countess.
  • What will not necessity do? The Countess herself actually came to wait
  • upon Mrs. Crawley on the failure of her second envoy. She entreated
  • her to name her own price; she even offered to invite Becky to
  • Bareacres House, if the latter would but give her the means of
  • returning to that residence. Mrs. Crawley sneered at her.
  • "I don't want to be waited on by bailiffs in livery," she said; "you
  • will never get back though most probably--at least not you and your
  • diamonds together. The French will have those. They will be here in two
  • hours, and I shall be half way to Ghent by that time. I would not sell
  • you my horses, no, not for the two largest diamonds that your Ladyship
  • wore at the ball." Lady Bareacres trembled with rage and terror. The
  • diamonds were sewed into her habit, and secreted in my Lord's padding
  • and boots. "Woman, the diamonds are at the banker's, and I WILL have
  • the horses," she said. Rebecca laughed in her face. The infuriate
  • Countess went below, and sate in her carriage; her maid, her courier,
  • and her husband were sent once more through the town, each to look for
  • cattle; and woe betide those who came last! Her Ladyship was resolved
  • on departing the very instant the horses arrived from any quarter--with
  • her husband or without him.
  • Rebecca had the pleasure of seeing her Ladyship in the horseless
  • carriage, and keeping her eyes fixed upon her, and bewailing, in the
  • loudest tone of voice, the Countess's perplexities. "Not to be able to
  • get horses!" she said, "and to have all those diamonds sewed into the
  • carriage cushions! What a prize it will be for the French when they
  • come!--the carriage and the diamonds, I mean; not the lady!" She gave
  • this information to the landlord, to the servants, to the guests, and
  • the innumerable stragglers about the courtyard. Lady Bareacres could
  • have shot her from the carriage window.
  • It was while enjoying the humiliation of her enemy that Rebecca caught
  • sight of Jos, who made towards her directly he perceived her.
  • That altered, frightened, fat face, told his secret well enough. He
  • too wanted to fly, and was on the look-out for the means of escape. "HE
  • shall buy my horses," thought Rebecca, "and I'll ride the mare."
  • Jos walked up to his friend, and put the question for the hundredth
  • time during the past hour, "Did she know where horses were to be had?"
  • "What, YOU fly?" said Rebecca, with a laugh. "I thought you were the
  • champion of all the ladies, Mr. Sedley."
  • "I--I'm not a military man," gasped he.
  • "And Amelia?--Who is to protect that poor little sister of yours?"
  • asked Rebecca. "You surely would not desert her?"
  • "What good can I do her, suppose--suppose the enemy arrive?" Jos
  • answered. "They'll spare the women; but my man tells me that they have
  • taken an oath to give no quarter to the men--the dastardly cowards."
  • "Horrid!" cried Rebecca, enjoying his perplexity.
  • "Besides, I don't want to desert her," cried the brother. "She SHAN'T
  • be deserted. There is a seat for her in my carriage, and one for you,
  • dear Mrs. Crawley, if you will come; and if we can get horses--" sighed
  • he--
  • "I have two to sell," the lady said. Jos could have flung himself into
  • her arms at the news. "Get the carriage, Isidor," he cried; "we've
  • found them--we have found them."
  • "My horses never were in harness," added the lady. "Bullfinch would kick
  • the carriage to pieces, if you put him in the traces."
  • "But he is quiet to ride?" asked the civilian.
  • "As quiet as a lamb, and as fast as a hare," answered Rebecca.
  • "Do you think he is up to my weight?" Jos said. He was already on his
  • back, in imagination, without ever so much as a thought for poor
  • Amelia. What person who loved a horse-speculation could resist such a
  • temptation?
  • In reply, Rebecca asked him to come into her room, whither he followed
  • her quite breathless to conclude the bargain. Jos seldom spent a
  • half-hour in his life which cost him so much money. Rebecca, measuring
  • the value of the goods which she had for sale by Jos's eagerness to
  • purchase, as well as by the scarcity of the article, put upon her
  • horses a price so prodigious as to make even the civilian draw back.
  • "She would sell both or neither," she said, resolutely. Rawdon had
  • ordered her not to part with them for a price less than that which she
  • specified. Lord Bareacres below would give her the same money--and with
  • all her love and regard for the Sedley family, her dear Mr. Joseph must
  • conceive that poor people must live--nobody, in a word, could be more
  • affectionate, but more firm about the matter of business.
  • Jos ended by agreeing, as might be supposed of him. The sum he had to
  • give her was so large that he was obliged to ask for time; so large as
  • to be a little fortune to Rebecca, who rapidly calculated that with
  • this sum, and the sale of the residue of Rawdon's effects, and her
  • pension as a widow should he fall, she would now be absolutely
  • independent of the world, and might look her weeds steadily in the face.
  • Once or twice in the day she certainly had herself thought about
  • flying. But her reason gave her better counsel. "Suppose the French
  • do come," thought Becky, "what can they do to a poor officer's widow?
  • Bah! the times of sacks and sieges are over. We shall be let to go
  • home quietly, or I may live pleasantly abroad with a snug little
  • income."
  • Meanwhile Jos and Isidor went off to the stables to inspect the newly
  • purchased cattle. Jos bade his man saddle the horses at once. He would
  • ride away that very night, that very hour. And he left the valet busy
  • in getting the horses ready, and went homewards himself to prepare for
  • his departure. It must be secret. He would go to his chamber by the
  • back entrance. He did not care to face Mrs. O'Dowd and Amelia, and own
  • to them that he was about to run.
  • By the time Jos's bargain with Rebecca was completed, and his horses
  • had been visited and examined, it was almost morning once more. But
  • though midnight was long passed, there was no rest for the city; the
  • people were up, the lights in the houses flamed, crowds were still
  • about the doors, and the streets were busy. Rumours of various natures
  • went still from mouth to mouth: one report averred that the Prussians
  • had been utterly defeated; another that it was the English who had been
  • attacked and conquered: a third that the latter had held their ground.
  • This last rumour gradually got strength. No Frenchmen had made their
  • appearance. Stragglers had come in from the army bringing reports more
  • and more favourable: at last an aide-de-camp actually reached Brussels
  • with despatches for the Commandant of the place, who placarded
  • presently through the town an official announcement of the success of
  • the allies at Quatre Bras, and the entire repulse of the French under
  • Ney after a six hours' battle. The aide-de-camp must have arrived
  • sometime while Jos and Rebecca were making their bargain together, or
  • the latter was inspecting his purchase. When he reached his own hotel,
  • he found a score of its numerous inhabitants on the threshold
  • discoursing of the news; there was no doubt as to its truth. And he
  • went up to communicate it to the ladies under his charge. He did not
  • think it was necessary to tell them how he had intended to take leave
  • of them, how he had bought horses, and what a price he had paid for
  • them.
  • But success or defeat was a minor matter to them, who had only thought
  • for the safety of those they loved. Amelia, at the news of the victory,
  • became still more agitated even than before. She was for going that
  • moment to the army. She besought her brother with tears to conduct her
  • thither. Her doubts and terrors reached their paroxysm; and the poor
  • girl, who for many hours had been plunged into stupor, raved and ran
  • hither and thither in hysteric insanity--a piteous sight. No man
  • writhing in pain on the hard-fought field fifteen miles off, where lay,
  • after their struggles, so many of the brave--no man suffered more
  • keenly than this poor harmless victim of the war. Jos could not bear
  • the sight of her pain. He left his sister in the charge of her stouter
  • female companion, and descended once more to the threshold of the
  • hotel, where everybody still lingered, and talked, and waited for more
  • news.
  • It grew to be broad daylight as they stood here, and fresh news began
  • to arrive from the war, brought by men who had been actors in the
  • scene. Wagons and long country carts laden with wounded came rolling
  • into the town; ghastly groans came from within them, and haggard faces
  • looked up sadly from out of the straw. Jos Sedley was looking at one
  • of these carriages with a painful curiosity--the moans of the people
  • within were frightful--the wearied horses could hardly pull the cart.
  • "Stop! stop!" a feeble voice cried from the straw, and the carriage
  • stopped opposite Mr. Sedley's hotel.
  • "It is George, I know it is!" cried Amelia, rushing in a moment to the
  • balcony, with a pallid face and loose flowing hair. It was not George,
  • however, but it was the next best thing: it was news of him.
  • It was poor Tom Stubble, who had marched out of Brussels so gallantly
  • twenty-four hours before, bearing the colours of the regiment, which he
  • had defended very gallantly upon the field. A French lancer had
  • speared the young ensign in the leg, who fell, still bravely holding to
  • his flag. At the conclusion of the engagement, a place had been found
  • for the poor boy in a cart, and he had been brought back to Brussels.
  • "Mr. Sedley, Mr. Sedley!" cried the boy, faintly, and Jos came up
  • almost frightened at the appeal. He had not at first distinguished who
  • it was that called him.
  • Little Tom Stubble held out his hot and feeble hand. "I'm to be taken
  • in here," he said. "Osborne--and--and Dobbin said I was; and you are
  • to give the man two napoleons: my mother will pay you." This young
  • fellow's thoughts, during the long feverish hours passed in the cart,
  • had been wandering to his father's parsonage which he had quitted only
  • a few months before, and he had sometimes forgotten his pain in that
  • delirium.
  • The hotel was large, and the people kind, and all the inmates of the
  • cart were taken in and placed on various couches. The young ensign was
  • conveyed upstairs to Osborne's quarters. Amelia and the Major's wife
  • had rushed down to him, when the latter had recognised him from the
  • balcony. You may fancy the feelings of these women when they were told
  • that the day was over, and both their husbands were safe; in what mute
  • rapture Amelia fell on her good friend's neck, and embraced her; in
  • what a grateful passion of prayer she fell on her knees, and thanked
  • the Power which had saved her husband.
  • Our young lady, in her fevered and nervous condition, could have had no
  • more salutary medicine prescribed for her by any physician than that
  • which chance put in her way. She and Mrs. O'Dowd watched incessantly
  • by the wounded lad, whose pains were very severe, and in the duty thus
  • forced upon her, Amelia had not time to brood over her personal
  • anxieties, or to give herself up to her own fears and forebodings after
  • her wont. The young patient told in his simple fashion the events of
  • the day, and the actions of our friends of the gallant --th. They had
  • suffered severely. They had lost very many officers and men. The
  • Major's horse had been shot under him as the regiment charged, and they
  • all thought that O'Dowd was gone, and that Dobbin had got his majority,
  • until on their return from the charge to their old ground, the Major
  • was discovered seated on Pyramus's carcase, refreshing him-self from a
  • case-bottle. It was Captain Osborne that cut down the French lancer
  • who had speared the ensign. Amelia turned so pale at the notion, that
  • Mrs. O'Dowd stopped the young ensign in this story. And it was Captain
  • Dobbin who at the end of the day, though wounded himself, took up the
  • lad in his arms and carried him to the surgeon, and thence to the cart
  • which was to bring him back to Brussels. And it was he who promised
  • the driver two louis if he would make his way to Mr. Sedley's hotel in
  • the city; and tell Mrs. Captain Osborne that the action was over, and
  • that her husband was unhurt and well.
  • "Indeed, but he has a good heart that William Dobbin," Mrs. O'Dowd
  • said, "though he is always laughing at me."
  • Young Stubble vowed there was not such another officer in the army, and
  • never ceased his praises of the senior captain, his modesty, his
  • kindness, and his admirable coolness in the field. To these parts of
  • the conversation, Amelia lent a very distracted attention: it was only
  • when George was spoken of that she listened, and when he was not
  • mentioned, she thought about him.
  • In tending her patient, and in thinking of the wonderful escapes of the
  • day before, her second day passed away not too slowly with Amelia.
  • There was only one man in the army for her: and as long as he was
  • well, it must be owned that its movements interested her little. All
  • the reports which Jos brought from the streets fell very vaguely on her
  • ears; though they were sufficient to give that timorous gentleman, and
  • many other people then in Brussels, every disquiet. The French had
  • been repulsed certainly, but it was after a severe and doubtful
  • struggle, and with only a division of the French army. The Emperor,
  • with the main body, was away at Ligny, where he had utterly annihilated
  • the Prussians, and was now free to bring his whole force to bear upon
  • the allies. The Duke of Wellington was retreating upon the capital, and
  • a great battle must be fought under its walls probably, of which the
  • chances were more than doubtful. The Duke of Wellington had but twenty
  • thousand British troops on whom he could rely, for the Germans were raw
  • militia, the Belgians disaffected, and with this handful his Grace had
  • to resist a hundred and fifty thousand men that had broken into Belgium
  • under Napoleon. Under Napoleon! What warrior was there, however
  • famous and skilful, that could fight at odds with him?
  • Jos thought of all these things, and trembled. So did all the rest of
  • Brussels--where people felt that the fight of the day before was but
  • the prelude to the greater combat which was imminent. One of the
  • armies opposed to the Emperor was scattered to the winds already. The
  • few English that could be brought to resist him would perish at their
  • posts, and the conqueror would pass over their bodies into the city.
  • Woe be to those whom he found there! Addresses were prepared, public
  • functionaries assembled and debated secretly, apartments were got
  • ready, and tricoloured banners and triumphal emblems manufactured, to
  • welcome the arrival of His Majesty the Emperor and King.
  • The emigration still continued, and wherever families could find means
  • of departure, they fled. When Jos, on the afternoon of the 17th of
  • June, went to Rebecca's hotel, he found that the great Bareacres'
  • carriage had at length rolled away from the porte-cochere. The Earl
  • had procured a pair of horses somehow, in spite of Mrs. Crawley, and
  • was rolling on the road to Ghent. Louis the Desired was getting ready
  • his portmanteau in that city, too. It seemed as if Misfortune was
  • never tired of worrying into motion that unwieldy exile.
  • Jos felt that the delay of yesterday had been only a respite, and that
  • his dearly bought horses must of a surety be put into requisition. His
  • agonies were very severe all this day. As long as there was an English
  • army between Brussels and Napoleon, there was no need of immediate
  • flight; but he had his horses brought from their distant stables, to
  • the stables in the court-yard of the hotel where he lived; so that they
  • might be under his own eyes, and beyond the risk of violent abduction.
  • Isidor watched the stable-door constantly, and had the horses saddled,
  • to be ready for the start. He longed intensely for that event.
  • After the reception of the previous day, Rebecca did not care to come
  • near her dear Amelia. She clipped the bouquet which George had brought
  • her, and gave fresh water to the flowers, and read over the letter
  • which he had sent her. "Poor wretch," she said, twirling round the
  • little bit of paper in her fingers, "how I could crush her with
  • this!--and it is for a thing like this that she must break her heart,
  • forsooth--for a man who is stupid--a coxcomb--and who does not care for
  • her. My poor good Rawdon is worth ten of this creature." And then she
  • fell to thinking what she should do if--if anything happened to poor
  • good Rawdon, and what a great piece of luck it was that he had left his
  • horses behind.
  • In the course of this day too, Mrs. Crawley, who saw not without anger
  • the Bareacres party drive off, bethought her of the precaution which
  • the Countess had taken, and did a little needlework for her own
  • advantage; she stitched away the major part of her trinkets, bills, and
  • bank-notes about her person, and so prepared, was ready for any
  • event--to fly if she thought fit, or to stay and welcome the conqueror,
  • were he Englishman or Frenchman. And I am not sure that she did not
  • dream that night of becoming a duchess and Madame la Marechale, while
  • Rawdon wrapped in his cloak, and making his bivouac under the rain at
  • Mount Saint John, was thinking, with all the force of his heart, about
  • the little wife whom he had left behind him.
  • The next day was a Sunday. And Mrs. Major O'Dowd had the satisfaction
  • of seeing both her patients refreshed in health and spirits by some
  • rest which they had taken during the night. She herself had slept on a
  • great chair in Amelia's room, ready to wait upon her poor friend or the
  • ensign, should either need her nursing. When morning came, this robust
  • woman went back to the house where she and her Major had their billet;
  • and here performed an elaborate and splendid toilette, befitting the
  • day. And it is very possible that whilst alone in that chamber, which
  • her husband had inhabited, and where his cap still lay on the pillow,
  • and his cane stood in the corner, one prayer at least was sent up to
  • Heaven for the welfare of the brave soldier, Michael O'Dowd.
  • When she returned she brought her prayer-book with her, and her uncle
  • the Dean's famous book of sermons, out of which she never failed to
  • read every Sabbath; not understanding all, haply, not pronouncing many
  • of the words aright, which were long and abstruse--for the Dean was a
  • learned man, and loved long Latin words--but with great gravity, vast
  • emphasis, and with tolerable correctness in the main. How often has my
  • Mick listened to these sermons, she thought, and me reading in the
  • cabin of a calm! She proposed to resume this exercise on the present
  • day, with Amelia and the wounded ensign for a congregation. The same
  • service was read on that day in twenty thousand churches at the same
  • hour; and millions of British men and women, on their knees, implored
  • protection of the Father of all.
  • They did not hear the noise which disturbed our little congregation at
  • Brussels. Much louder than that which had interrupted them two days
  • previously, as Mrs. O'Dowd was reading the service in her best voice,
  • the cannon of Waterloo began to roar.
  • When Jos heard that dreadful sound, he made up his mind that he would
  • bear this perpetual recurrence of terrors no longer, and would fly at
  • once. He rushed into the sick man's room, where our three friends had
  • paused in their prayers, and further interrupted them by a passionate
  • appeal to Amelia.
  • "I can't stand it any more, Emmy," he said; "I won't stand it; and you
  • must come with me. I have bought a horse for you--never mind at what
  • price--and you must dress and come with me, and ride behind Isidor."
  • "God forgive me, Mr. Sedley, but you are no better than a coward," Mrs.
  • O'Dowd said, laying down the book.
  • "I say come, Amelia," the civilian went on; "never mind what she says;
  • why are we to stop here and be butchered by the Frenchmen?"
  • "You forget the --th, my boy," said the little Stubble, the wounded
  • hero, from his bed--"and and you won't leave me, will you, Mrs. O'Dowd?"
  • "No, my dear fellow," said she, going up and kissing the boy. "No harm
  • shall come to you while I stand by. I don't budge till I get the word
  • from Mick. A pretty figure I'd be, wouldn't I, stuck behind that chap
  • on a pillion?"
  • This image caused the young patient to burst out laughing in his bed,
  • and even made Amelia smile. "I don't ask her," Jos shouted out--"I
  • don't ask that--that Irishwoman, but you Amelia; once for all, will you
  • come?"
  • "Without my husband, Joseph?" Amelia said, with a look of wonder, and
  • gave her hand to the Major's wife. Jos's patience was exhausted.
  • "Good-bye, then," he said, shaking his fist in a rage, and slamming the
  • door by which he retreated. And this time he really gave his order for
  • march: and mounted in the court-yard. Mrs. O'Dowd heard the
  • clattering hoofs of the horses as they issued from the gate; and
  • looking on, made many scornful remarks on poor Joseph as he rode down
  • the street with Isidor after him in the laced cap. The horses, which
  • had not been exercised for some days, were lively, and sprang about the
  • street. Jos, a clumsy and timid horseman, did not look to advantage in
  • the saddle. "Look at him, Amelia dear, driving into the parlour
  • window. Such a bull in a china-shop I never saw." And presently the
  • pair of riders disappeared at a canter down the street leading in the
  • direction of the Ghent road, Mrs. O'Dowd pursuing them with a fire of
  • sarcasm so long as they were in sight.
  • All that day from morning until past sunset, the cannon never ceased to
  • roar. It was dark when the cannonading stopped all of a sudden.
  • All of us have read of what occurred during that interval. The tale is
  • in every Englishman's mouth; and you and I, who were children when the
  • great battle was won and lost, are never tired of hearing and
  • recounting the history of that famous action. Its remembrance rankles
  • still in the bosoms of millions of the countrymen of those brave men
  • who lost the day. They pant for an opportunity of revenging that
  • humiliation; and if a contest, ending in a victory on their part,
  • should ensue, elating them in their turn, and leaving its cursed legacy
  • of hatred and rage behind to us, there is no end to the so-called glory
  • and shame, and to the alternations of successful and unsuccessful
  • murder, in which two high-spirited nations might engage. Centuries
  • hence, we Frenchmen and Englishmen might be boasting and killing each
  • other still, carrying out bravely the Devil's code of honour.
  • All our friends took their share and fought like men in the great
  • field. All day long, whilst the women were praying ten miles away, the
  • lines of the dauntless English infantry were receiving and repelling
  • the furious charges of the French horsemen. Guns which were heard at
  • Brussels were ploughing up their ranks, and comrades falling, and the
  • resolute survivors closing in. Towards evening, the attack of the
  • French, repeated and resisted so bravely, slackened in its fury. They
  • had other foes besides the British to engage, or were preparing for a
  • final onset. It came at last: the columns of the Imperial Guard
  • marched up the hill of Saint Jean, at length and at once to sweep the
  • English from the height which they had maintained all day, and spite of
  • all: unscared by the thunder of the artillery, which hurled death from
  • the English line--the dark rolling column pressed on and up the hill.
  • It seemed almost to crest the eminence, when it began to wave and
  • falter. Then it stopped, still facing the shot. Then at last the
  • English troops rushed from the post from which no enemy had been able
  • to dislodge them, and the Guard turned and fled.
  • No more firing was heard at Brussels--the pursuit rolled miles away.
  • Darkness came down on the field and city: and Amelia was praying for
  • George, who was lying on his face, dead, with a bullet through his
  • heart.
  • CHAPTER XXXIII
  • In Which Miss Crawley's Relations Are Very Anxious About Her
  • The kind reader must please to remember--while the army is marching
  • from Flanders, and, after its heroic actions there, is advancing to
  • take the fortifications on the frontiers of France, previous to an
  • occupation of that country--that there are a number of persons living
  • peaceably in England who have to do with the history at present in
  • hand, and must come in for their share of the chronicle. During the
  • time of these battles and dangers, old Miss Crawley was living at
  • Brighton, very moderately moved by the great events that were going on.
  • The great events rendered the newspapers rather interesting, to be
  • sure, and Briggs read out the Gazette, in which Rawdon Crawley's
  • gallantry was mentioned with honour, and his promotion was presently
  • recorded.
  • "What a pity that young man has taken such an irretrievable step in the
  • world!" his aunt said; "with his rank and distinction he might have
  • married a brewer's daughter with a quarter of a million--like Miss
  • Grains; or have looked to ally himself with the best families in
  • England. He would have had my money some day or other; or his children
  • would--for I'm not in a hurry to go, Miss Briggs, although you may be
  • in a hurry to be rid of me; and instead of that, he is a doomed pauper,
  • with a dancing-girl for a wife."
  • "Will my dear Miss Crawley not cast an eye of compassion upon the
  • heroic soldier, whose name is inscribed in the annals of his country's
  • glory?" said Miss Briggs, who was greatly excited by the Waterloo
  • proceedings, and loved speaking romantically when there was an
  • occasion. "Has not the Captain--or the Colonel as I may now style
  • him--done deeds which make the name of Crawley illustrious?"
  • "Briggs, you are a fool," said Miss Crawley: "Colonel Crawley has
  • dragged the name of Crawley through the mud, Miss Briggs. Marry a
  • drawing-master's daughter, indeed!--marry a dame de compagnie--for she
  • was no better, Briggs; no, she was just what you are--only younger, and
  • a great deal prettier and cleverer. Were you an accomplice of that
  • abandoned wretch, I wonder, of whose vile arts he became a victim, and
  • of whom you used to be such an admirer? Yes, I daresay you were an
  • accomplice. But you will find yourself disappointed in my will, I can
  • tell you: and you will have the goodness to write to Mr. Waxy, and say
  • that I desire to see him immediately." Miss Crawley was now in the
  • habit of writing to Mr. Waxy her solicitor almost every day in the
  • week, for her arrangements respecting her property were all revoked,
  • and her perplexity was great as to the future disposition of her money.
  • The spinster had, however, rallied considerably; as was proved by the
  • increased vigour and frequency of her sarcasms upon Miss Briggs, all
  • which attacks the poor companion bore with meekness, with cowardice,
  • with a resignation that was half generous and half hypocritical--with
  • the slavish submission, in a word, that women of her disposition and
  • station are compelled to show. Who has not seen how women bully women?
  • What tortures have men to endure, comparable to those daily repeated
  • shafts of scorn and cruelty with which poor women are riddled by the
  • tyrants of their sex? Poor victims! But we are starting from our
  • proposition, which is, that Miss Crawley was always particularly
  • annoying and savage when she was rallying from illness--as they say
  • wounds tingle most when they are about to heal.
  • While thus approaching, as all hoped, to convalescence, Miss Briggs was
  • the only victim admitted into the presence of the invalid; yet Miss
  • Crawley's relatives afar off did not forget their beloved kinswoman,
  • and by a number of tokens, presents, and kind affectionate messages,
  • strove to keep themselves alive in her recollection.
  • In the first place, let us mention her nephew, Rawdon Crawley. A few
  • weeks after the famous fight of Waterloo, and after the Gazette had
  • made known to her the promotion and gallantry of that distinguished
  • officer, the Dieppe packet brought over to Miss Crawley at Brighton, a
  • box containing presents, and a dutiful letter, from the Colonel her
  • nephew. In the box were a pair of French epaulets, a Cross of the
  • Legion of Honour, and the hilt of a sword--relics from the field of
  • battle: and the letter described with a good deal of humour how the
  • latter belonged to a commanding officer of the Guard, who having sworn
  • that "the Guard died, but never surrendered," was taken prisoner the
  • next minute by a private soldier, who broke the Frenchman's sword with
  • the butt of his musket, when Rawdon made himself master of the
  • shattered weapon. As for the cross and epaulets, they came from a
  • Colonel of French cavalry, who had fallen under the aide-de-camp's arm
  • in the battle: and Rawdon Crawley did not know what better to do with
  • the spoils than to send them to his kindest and most affectionate old
  • friend. Should he continue to write to her from Paris, whither the army
  • was marching? He might be able to give her interesting news from that
  • capital, and of some of Miss Crawley's old friends of the emigration,
  • to whom she had shown so much kindness during their distress.
  • The spinster caused Briggs to write back to the Colonel a gracious and
  • complimentary letter, encouraging him to continue his correspondence.
  • His first letter was so excessively lively and amusing that she should
  • look with pleasure for its successors.--"Of course, I know," she
  • explained to Miss Briggs, "that Rawdon could not write such a good
  • letter any more than you could, my poor Briggs, and that it is that
  • clever little wretch of a Rebecca, who dictates every word to him; but
  • that is no reason why my nephew should not amuse me; and so I wish to
  • let him understand that I am in high good humour."
  • I wonder whether she knew that it was not only Becky who wrote the
  • letters, but that Mrs. Rawdon actually took and sent home the trophies
  • which she bought for a few francs, from one of the innumerable pedlars
  • who immediately began to deal in relics of the war. The novelist, who
  • knows everything, knows this also. Be this, however, as it may, Miss
  • Crawley's gracious reply greatly encouraged our young friends, Rawdon
  • and his lady, who hoped for the best from their aunt's evidently
  • pacified humour: and they took care to entertain her with many
  • delightful letters from Paris, whither, as Rawdon said, they had the
  • good luck to go in the track of the conquering army.
  • To the rector's lady, who went off to tend her husband's broken
  • collar-bone at the Rectory at Queen's Crawley, the spinster's
  • communications were by no means so gracious. Mrs. Bute, that brisk,
  • managing, lively, imperious woman, had committed the most fatal of all
  • errors with regard to her sister-in-law. She had not merely oppressed
  • her and her household--she had bored Miss Crawley; and if poor Miss
  • Briggs had been a woman of any spirit, she might have been made happy
  • by the commission which her principal gave her to write a letter to
  • Mrs. Bute Crawley, saying that Miss Crawley's health was greatly
  • improved since Mrs. Bute had left her, and begging the latter on no
  • account to put herself to trouble, or quit her family for Miss
  • Crawley's sake. This triumph over a lady who had been very haughty and
  • cruel in her behaviour to Miss Briggs, would have rejoiced most women;
  • but the truth is, Briggs was a woman of no spirit at all, and the
  • moment her enemy was discomfited, she began to feel compassion in her
  • favour.
  • "How silly I was," Mrs. Bute thought, and with reason, "ever to hint
  • that I was coming, as I did, in that foolish letter when we sent Miss
  • Crawley the guinea-fowls. I ought to have gone without a word to the
  • poor dear doting old creature, and taken her out of the hands of that
  • ninny Briggs, and that harpy of a femme de chambre. Oh! Bute, Bute,
  • why did you break your collar-bone?"
  • Why, indeed? We have seen how Mrs. Bute, having the game in her hands,
  • had really played her cards too well. She had ruled over Miss Crawley's
  • household utterly and completely, to be utterly and completely routed
  • when a favourable opportunity for rebellion came. She and her
  • household, however, considered that she had been the victim of horrible
  • selfishness and treason, and that her sacrifices in Miss Crawley's
  • behalf had met with the most savage ingratitude. Rawdon's promotion,
  • and the honourable mention made of his name in the Gazette, filled this
  • good Christian lady also with alarm. Would his aunt relent towards him
  • now that he was a Lieutenant-Colonel and a C.B.? and would that odious
  • Rebecca once more get into favour? The Rector's wife wrote a sermon for
  • her husband about the vanity of military glory and the prosperity of
  • the wicked, which the worthy parson read in his best voice and without
  • understanding one syllable of it. He had Pitt Crawley for one of his
  • auditors--Pitt, who had come with his two half-sisters to church, which
  • the old Baronet could now by no means be brought to frequent.
  • Since the departure of Becky Sharp, that old wretch had given himself
  • up entirely to his bad courses, to the great scandal of the county and
  • the mute horror of his son. The ribbons in Miss Horrocks's cap became
  • more splendid than ever. The polite families fled the hall and its
  • owner in terror. Sir Pitt went about tippling at his tenants' houses;
  • and drank rum-and-water with the farmers at Mudbury and the
  • neighbouring places on market-days. He drove the family coach-and-four
  • to Southampton with Miss Horrocks inside: and the county people
  • expected, every week, as his son did in speechless agony, that his
  • marriage with her would be announced in the provincial paper. It was
  • indeed a rude burthen for Mr. Crawley to bear. His eloquence was
  • palsied at the missionary meetings, and other religious assemblies in
  • the neighbourhood, where he had been in the habit of presiding, and of
  • speaking for hours; for he felt, when he rose, that the audience said,
  • "That is the son of the old reprobate Sir Pitt, who is very likely
  • drinking at the public house at this very moment." And once when he was
  • speaking of the benighted condition of the king of Timbuctoo, and the
  • number of his wives who were likewise in darkness, some gipsy miscreant
  • from the crowd asked, "How many is there at Queen's Crawley, Young
  • Squaretoes?" to the surprise of the platform, and the ruin of Mr.
  • Pitt's speech. And the two daughters of the house of Queen's Crawley
  • would have been allowed to run utterly wild (for Sir Pitt swore that no
  • governess should ever enter into his doors again), had not Mr. Crawley,
  • by threatening the old gentleman, forced the latter to send them to
  • school.
  • Meanwhile, as we have said, whatever individual differences there might
  • be between them all, Miss Crawley's dear nephews and nieces were
  • unanimous in loving her and sending her tokens of affection. Thus Mrs.
  • Bute sent guinea-fowls, and some remarkably fine cauliflowers, and a
  • pretty purse or pincushion worked by her darling girls, who begged to
  • keep a LITTLE place in the recollection of their dear aunt, while Mr.
  • Pitt sent peaches and grapes and venison from the Hall. The
  • Southampton coach used to carry these tokens of affection to Miss
  • Crawley at Brighton: it used sometimes to convey Mr. Pitt thither too:
  • for his differences with Sir Pitt caused Mr. Crawley to absent himself
  • a good deal from home now: and besides, he had an attraction at
  • Brighton in the person of the Lady Jane Sheepshanks, whose engagement
  • to Mr. Crawley has been formerly mentioned in this history. Her
  • Ladyship and her sisters lived at Brighton with their mamma, the
  • Countess Southdown, that strong-minded woman so favourably known in
  • the serious world.
  • A few words ought to be said regarding her Ladyship and her noble
  • family, who are bound by ties of present and future relationship to the
  • house of Crawley. Respecting the chief of the Southdown family, Clement
  • William, fourth Earl of Southdown, little need be told, except that his
  • Lordship came into Parliament (as Lord Wolsey) under the auspices of
  • Mr. Wilberforce, and for a time was a credit to his political sponsor,
  • and decidedly a serious young man. But words cannot describe the
  • feelings of his admirable mother, when she learned, very shortly after
  • her noble husband's demise, that her son was a member of several
  • worldly clubs, had lost largely at play at Wattier's and the Cocoa
  • Tree; that he had raised money on post-obits, and encumbered the
  • family estate; that he drove four-in-hand, and patronised the ring; and
  • that he actually had an opera-box, where he entertained the most
  • dangerous bachelor company. His name was only mentioned with groans in
  • the dowager's circle.
  • The Lady Emily was her brother's senior by many years; and took
  • considerable rank in the serious world as author of some of the
  • delightful tracts before mentioned, and of many hymns and spiritual
  • pieces. A mature spinster, and having but faint ideas of marriage, her
  • love for the blacks occupied almost all her feelings. It is to her, I
  • believe, we owe that beautiful poem.
  • Lead us to some sunny isle,
  • Yonder in the western deep;
  • Where the skies for ever smile,
  • And the blacks for ever weep, &c.
  • She had correspondences with clerical gentlemen in most of our East and
  • West India possessions; and was secretly attached to the Reverend Silas
  • Hornblower, who was tattooed in the South Sea Islands.
  • As for the Lady Jane, on whom, as it has been said, Mr. Pitt Crawley's
  • affection had been placed, she was gentle, blushing, silent, and timid.
  • In spite of his falling away, she wept for her brother, and was quite
  • ashamed of loving him still. Even yet she used to send him little
  • hurried smuggled notes, and pop them into the post in private. The one
  • dreadful secret which weighed upon her life was, that she and the old
  • housekeeper had been to pay Southdown a furtive visit at his chambers
  • in the Albany; and found him--O the naughty dear abandoned
  • wretch!--smoking a cigar with a bottle of Curacao before him. She
  • admired her sister, she adored her mother, she thought Mr. Crawley the
  • most delightful and accomplished of men, after Southdown, that fallen
  • angel: and her mamma and sister, who were ladies of the most superior
  • sort, managed everything for her, and regarded her with that amiable
  • pity, of which your really superior woman always has such a share to
  • give away. Her mamma ordered her dresses, her books, her bonnets, and
  • her ideas for her. She was made to take pony-riding, or piano-exercise,
  • or any other sort of bodily medicament, according as my Lady Southdown
  • saw meet; and her ladyship would have kept her daughter in pinafores up
  • to her present age of six-and-twenty, but that they were thrown off
  • when Lady Jane was presented to Queen Charlotte.
  • When these ladies first came to their house at Brighton, it was to them
  • alone that Mr. Crawley paid his personal visits, contenting himself by
  • leaving a card at his aunt's house, and making a modest inquiry of Mr.
  • Bowls or his assistant footman, with respect to the health of the
  • invalid. When he met Miss Briggs coming home from the library with a
  • cargo of novels under her arm, Mr. Crawley blushed in a manner quite
  • unusual to him, as he stepped forward and shook Miss Crawley's
  • companion by the hand. He introduced Miss Briggs to the lady with whom
  • he happened to be walking, the Lady Jane Sheepshanks, saying, "Lady
  • Jane, permit me to introduce to you my aunt's kindest friend and most
  • affectionate companion, Miss Briggs, whom you know under another title,
  • as authoress of the delightful 'Lyrics of the Heart,' of which you are
  • so fond." Lady Jane blushed too as she held out a kind little hand to
  • Miss Briggs, and said something very civil and incoherent about mamma,
  • and proposing to call on Miss Crawley, and being glad to be made known
  • to the friends and relatives of Mr. Crawley; and with soft dove-like
  • eyes saluted Miss Briggs as they separated, while Pitt Crawley treated
  • her to a profound courtly bow, such as he had used to H.H. the Duchess
  • of Pumpernickel, when he was attache at that court.
  • The artful diplomatist and disciple of the Machiavellian Binkie! It
  • was he who had given Lady Jane that copy of poor Briggs's early poems,
  • which he remembered to have seen at Queen's Crawley, with a dedication
  • from the poetess to his father's late wife; and he brought the volume
  • with him to Brighton, reading it in the Southampton coach and marking
  • it with his own pencil, before he presented it to the gentle Lady Jane.
  • It was he, too, who laid before Lady Southdown the great advantages
  • which might occur from an intimacy between her family and Miss
  • Crawley--advantages both worldly and spiritual, he said: for Miss
  • Crawley was now quite alone; the monstrous dissipation and alliance of
  • his brother Rawdon had estranged her affections from that reprobate
  • young man; the greedy tyranny and avarice of Mrs. Bute Crawley had
  • caused the old lady to revolt against the exorbitant pretensions of
  • that part of the family; and though he himself had held off all his
  • life from cultivating Miss Crawley's friendship, with perhaps an
  • improper pride, he thought now that every becoming means should be
  • taken, both to save her soul from perdition, and to secure her fortune
  • to himself as the head of the house of Crawley.
  • The strong-minded Lady Southdown quite agreed in both proposals of her
  • son-in-law, and was for converting Miss Crawley off-hand. At her own
  • home, both at Southdown and at Trottermore Castle, this tall and awful
  • missionary of the truth rode about the country in her barouche with
  • outriders, launched packets of tracts among the cottagers and tenants,
  • and would order Gaffer Jones to be converted, as she would order Goody
  • Hicks to take a James's powder, without appeal, resistance, or benefit
  • of clergy. My Lord Southdown, her late husband, an epileptic and
  • simple-minded nobleman, was in the habit of approving of everything
  • which his Matilda did and thought. So that whatever changes her own
  • belief might undergo (and it accommodated itself to a prodigious
  • variety of opinion, taken from all sorts of doctors among the
  • Dissenters) she had not the least scruple in ordering all her tenants
  • and inferiors to follow and believe after her. Thus whether she
  • received the Reverend Saunders McNitre, the Scotch divine; or the
  • Reverend Luke Waters, the mild Wesleyan; or the Reverend Giles Jowls,
  • the illuminated Cobbler, who dubbed himself Reverend as Napoleon
  • crowned himself Emperor--the household, children, tenantry of my Lady
  • Southdown were expected to go down on their knees with her Ladyship,
  • and say Amen to the prayers of either Doctor. During these exercises
  • old Southdown, on account of his invalid condition, was allowed to sit
  • in his own room, and have negus and the paper read to him. Lady Jane
  • was the old Earl's favourite daughter, and tended him and loved him
  • sincerely: as for Lady Emily, the authoress of the "Washerwoman of
  • Finchley Common," her denunciations of future punishment (at this
  • period, for her opinions modified afterwards) were so awful that they
  • used to frighten the timid old gentleman her father, and the physicians
  • declared his fits always occurred after one of her Ladyship's sermons.
  • "I will certainly call," said Lady Southdown then, in reply to the
  • exhortation of her daughter's pretendu, Mr. Pitt Crawley--"Who is Miss
  • Crawley's medical man?"
  • Mr. Crawley mentioned the name of Mr. Creamer.
  • "A most dangerous and ignorant practitioner, my dear Pitt. I have
  • providentially been the means of removing him from several houses:
  • though in one or two instances I did not arrive in time. I could not
  • save poor dear General Glanders, who was dying under the hands of that
  • ignorant man--dying. He rallied a little under the Podgers' pills
  • which I administered to him; but alas! it was too late. His death was
  • delightful, however; and his change was only for the better; Creamer,
  • my dear Pitt, must leave your aunt."
  • Pitt expressed his perfect acquiescence. He, too, had been carried
  • along by the energy of his noble kinswoman, and future mother-in-law.
  • He had been made to accept Saunders McNitre, Luke Waters, Giles Jowls,
  • Podgers' Pills, Rodgers' Pills, Pokey's Elixir, every one of her
  • Ladyship's remedies spiritual or temporal. He never left her house
  • without carrying respectfully away with him piles of her quack theology
  • and medicine. O, my dear brethren and fellow-sojourners in Vanity
  • Fair, which among you does not know and suffer under such benevolent
  • despots? It is in vain you say to them, "Dear Madam, I took Podgers'
  • specific at your orders last year, and believe in it. Why, why am I to
  • recant and accept the Rodgers' articles now?" There is no help for it;
  • the faithful proselytizer, if she cannot convince by argument, bursts
  • into tears, and the refusant finds himself, at the end of the contest,
  • taking down the bolus, and saying, "Well, well, Rodgers' be it."
  • "And as for her spiritual state," continued the Lady, "that of course
  • must be looked to immediately: with Creamer about her, she may go off
  • any day: and in what a condition, my dear Pitt, in what a dreadful
  • condition! I will send the Reverend Mr. Irons to her instantly. Jane,
  • write a line to the Reverend Bartholomew Irons, in the third person,
  • and say that I desire the pleasure of his company this evening at tea
  • at half-past six. He is an awakening man; he ought to see Miss Crawley
  • before she rests this night. And Emily, my love, get ready a packet of
  • books for Miss Crawley. Put up 'A Voice from the Flames,' 'A
  • Trumpet-warning to Jericho,' and the 'Fleshpots Broken; or, the
  • Converted Cannibal.'"
  • "And the 'Washerwoman of Finchley Common,' Mamma," said Lady Emily. "It
  • is as well to begin soothingly at first."
  • "Stop, my dear ladies," said Pitt, the diplomatist. "With every
  • deference to the opinion of my beloved and respected Lady Southdown, I
  • think it would be quite unadvisable to commence so early upon serious
  • topics with Miss Crawley. Remember her delicate condition, and how
  • little, how very little accustomed she has hitherto been to
  • considerations connected with her immortal welfare."
  • "Can we then begin too early, Pitt?" said Lady Emily, rising with six
  • little books already in her hand.
  • "If you begin abruptly, you will frighten her altogether. I know my
  • aunt's worldly nature so well as to be sure that any abrupt attempt at
  • conversion will be the very worst means that can be employed for the
  • welfare of that unfortunate lady. You will only frighten and annoy
  • her. She will very likely fling the books away, and refuse all
  • acquaintance with the givers."
  • "You are as worldly as Miss Crawley, Pitt," said Lady Emily, tossing
  • out of the room, her books in her hand.
  • "And I need not tell you, my dear Lady Southdown," Pitt continued, in a
  • low voice, and without heeding the interruption, "how fatal a little
  • want of gentleness and caution may be to any hopes which we may
  • entertain with regard to the worldly possessions of my aunt. Remember
  • she has seventy thousand pounds; think of her age, and her highly
  • nervous and delicate condition; I know that she has destroyed the will
  • which was made in my brother's (Colonel Crawley's) favour: it is by
  • soothing that wounded spirit that we must lead it into the right path,
  • and not by frightening it; and so I think you will agree with me
  • that--that--'
  • "Of course, of course," Lady Southdown remarked. "Jane, my love, you
  • need not send that note to Mr. Irons. If her health is such that
  • discussions fatigue her, we will wait her amendment. I will call upon
  • Miss Crawley tomorrow."
  • "And if I might suggest, my sweet lady," Pitt said in a bland tone, "it
  • would be as well not to take our precious Emily, who is too
  • enthusiastic; but rather that you should be accompanied by our sweet
  • and dear Lady Jane."
  • "Most certainly, Emily would ruin everything," Lady Southdown said; and
  • this time agreed to forego her usual practice, which was, as we have
  • said, before she bore down personally upon any individual whom she
  • proposed to subjugate, to fire in a quantity of tracts upon the menaced
  • party (as a charge of the French was always preceded by a furious
  • cannonade). Lady Southdown, we say, for the sake of the invalid's
  • health, or for the sake of her soul's ultimate welfare, or for the sake
  • of her money, agreed to temporise.
  • The next day, the great Southdown female family carriage, with the
  • Earl's coronet and the lozenge (upon which the three lambs trottant
  • argent upon the field vert of the Southdowns, were quartered with sable
  • on a bend or, three snuff-mulls gules, the cognizance of the house of
  • Binkie), drove up in state to Miss Crawley's door, and the tall serious
  • footman handed in to Mr. Bowls her Ladyship's cards for Miss Crawley,
  • and one likewise for Miss Briggs. By way of compromise, Lady Emily
  • sent in a packet in the evening for the latter lady, containing copies
  • of the "Washerwoman," and other mild and favourite tracts for Miss B.'s
  • own perusal; and a few for the servants' hall, viz.: "Crumbs from the
  • Pantry," "The Frying Pan and the Fire," and "The Livery of Sin," of a
  • much stronger kind.
  • CHAPTER XXXIV
  • James Crawley's Pipe Is Put Out
  • The amiable behaviour of Mr. Crawley, and Lady Jane's kind reception of
  • her, highly flattered Miss Briggs, who was enabled to speak a good word
  • for the latter, after the cards of the Southdown family had been
  • presented to Miss Crawley. A Countess's card left personally too for
  • her, Briggs, was not a little pleasing to the poor friendless
  • companion. "What could Lady Southdown mean by leaving a card upon you,
  • I wonder, Miss Briggs?" said the republican Miss Crawley; upon which
  • the companion meekly said "that she hoped there could be no harm in a
  • lady of rank taking notice of a poor gentlewoman," and she put away
  • this card in her work-box amongst her most cherished personal
  • treasures. Furthermore, Miss Briggs explained how she had met Mr.
  • Crawley walking with his cousin and long affianced bride the day
  • before: and she told how kind and gentle-looking the lady was, and
  • what a plain, not to say common, dress she had, all the articles of
  • which, from the bonnet down to the boots, she described and estimated
  • with female accuracy.
  • Miss Crawley allowed Briggs to prattle on without interrupting her too
  • much. As she got well, she was pining for society. Mr. Creamer, her
  • medical man, would not hear of her returning to her old haunts and
  • dissipation in London. The old spinster was too glad to find any
  • companionship at Brighton, and not only were the cards acknowledged the
  • very next day, but Pitt Crawley was graciously invited to come and see
  • his aunt. He came, bringing with him Lady Southdown and her daughter.
  • The dowager did not say a word about the state of Miss Crawley's soul;
  • but talked with much discretion about the weather: about the war and
  • the downfall of the monster Bonaparte: and above all, about doctors,
  • quacks, and the particular merits of Dr. Podgers, whom she then
  • patronised.
  • During their interview Pitt Crawley made a great stroke, and one which
  • showed that, had his diplomatic career not been blighted by early
  • neglect, he might have risen to a high rank in his profession. When the
  • Countess Dowager of Southdown fell foul of the Corsican upstart, as the
  • fashion was in those days, and showed that he was a monster stained
  • with every conceivable crime, a coward and a tyrant not fit to live,
  • one whose fall was predicted, &c., Pitt Crawley suddenly took up the
  • cudgels in favour of the man of Destiny. He described the First Consul
  • as he saw him at Paris at the peace of Amiens; when he, Pitt Crawley,
  • had the gratification of making the acquaintance of the great and good
  • Mr. Fox, a statesman whom, however much he might differ with him, it
  • was impossible not to admire fervently--a statesman who had always had
  • the highest opinion of the Emperor Napoleon. And he spoke in terms of
  • the strongest indignation of the faithless conduct of the allies
  • towards this dethroned monarch, who, after giving himself generously up
  • to their mercy, was consigned to an ignoble and cruel banishment, while
  • a bigoted Popish rabble was tyrannising over France in his stead.
  • This orthodox horror of Romish superstition saved Pitt Crawley in Lady
  • Southdown's opinion, whilst his admiration for Fox and Napoleon raised
  • him immeasurably in Miss Crawley's eyes. Her friendship with that
  • defunct British statesman was mentioned when we first introduced her in
  • this history. A true Whig, Miss Crawley had been in opposition all
  • through the war, and though, to be sure, the downfall of the Emperor
  • did not very much agitate the old lady, or his ill-treatment tend to
  • shorten her life or natural rest, yet Pitt spoke to her heart when he
  • lauded both her idols; and by that single speech made immense progress
  • in her favour.
  • "And what do you think, my dear?" Miss Crawley said to the young lady,
  • for whom she had taken a liking at first sight, as she always did for
  • pretty and modest young people; though it must be owned her affections
  • cooled as rapidly as they rose.
  • Lady Jane blushed very much, and said "that she did not understand
  • politics, which she left to wiser heads than hers; but though Mamma
  • was, no doubt, correct, Mr. Crawley had spoken beautifully." And when
  • the ladies were retiring at the conclusion of their visit, Miss Crawley
  • hoped "Lady Southdown would be so kind as to send her Lady Jane
  • sometimes, if she could be spared to come down and console a poor sick
  • lonely old woman." This promise was graciously accorded, and they
  • separated upon great terms of amity.
  • "Don't let Lady Southdown come again, Pitt," said the old lady. "She is
  • stupid and pompous, like all your mother's family, whom I never could
  • endure. But bring that nice good-natured little Jane as often as ever
  • you please." Pitt promised that he would do so. He did not tell the
  • Countess of Southdown what opinion his aunt had formed of her Ladyship,
  • who, on the contrary, thought that she had made a most delightful and
  • majestic impression on Miss Crawley.
  • And so, nothing loth to comfort a sick lady, and perhaps not sorry in
  • her heart to be freed now and again from the dreary spouting of the
  • Reverend Bartholomew Irons, and the serious toadies who gathered round
  • the footstool of the pompous Countess, her mamma, Lady Jane became a
  • pretty constant visitor to Miss Crawley, accompanied her in her drives,
  • and solaced many of her evenings. She was so naturally good and soft,
  • that even Firkin was not jealous of her; and the gentle Briggs thought
  • her friend was less cruel to her when kind Lady Jane was by. Towards
  • her Ladyship Miss Crawley's manners were charming. The old spinster
  • told her a thousand anecdotes about her youth, talking to her in a very
  • different strain from that in which she had been accustomed to converse
  • with the godless little Rebecca; for there was that in Lady Jane's
  • innocence which rendered light talking impertinence before her, and
  • Miss Crawley was too much of a gentlewoman to offend such purity. The
  • young lady herself had never received kindness except from this old
  • spinster, and her brother and father: and she repaid Miss Crawley's
  • engoument by artless sweetness and friendship.
  • In the autumn evenings (when Rebecca was flaunting at Paris, the gayest
  • among the gay conquerors there, and our Amelia, our dear wounded
  • Amelia, ah! where was she?) Lady Jane would be sitting in Miss
  • Crawley's drawing-room singing sweetly to her, in the twilight, her
  • little simple songs and hymns, while the sun was setting and the sea
  • was roaring on the beach. The old spinster used to wake up when these
  • ditties ceased, and ask for more. As for Briggs, and the quantity of
  • tears of happiness which she now shed as she pretended to knit, and
  • looked out at the splendid ocean darkling before the windows, and the
  • lamps of heaven beginning more brightly to shine--who, I say can
  • measure the happiness and sensibility of Briggs?
  • Pitt meanwhile in the dining-room, with a pamphlet on the Corn Laws or
  • a Missionary Register by his side, took that kind of recreation which
  • suits romantic and unromantic men after dinner. He sipped Madeira:
  • built castles in the air: thought himself a fine fellow: felt himself
  • much more in love with Jane than he had been any time these seven
  • years, during which their liaison had lasted without the slightest
  • impatience on Pitt's part--and slept a good deal. When the time for
  • coffee came, Mr. Bowls used to enter in a noisy manner, and summon
  • Squire Pitt, who would be found in the dark very busy with his pamphlet.
  • "I wish, my love, I could get somebody to play piquet with me," Miss
  • Crawley said one night when this functionary made his appearance with
  • the candles and the coffee. "Poor Briggs can no more play than an owl,
  • she is so stupid" (the spinster always took an opportunity of abusing
  • Briggs before the servants); "and I think I should sleep better if I
  • had my game."
  • At this Lady Jane blushed to the tips of her little ears, and down to
  • the ends of her pretty fingers; and when Mr. Bowls had quitted the
  • room, and the door was quite shut, she said:
  • "Miss Crawley, I can play a little. I used to--to play a little with
  • poor dear papa."
  • "Come and kiss me. Come and kiss me this instant, you dear good little
  • soul," cried Miss Crawley in an ecstasy: and in this picturesque and
  • friendly occupation Mr. Pitt found the old lady and the young one, when
  • he came upstairs with him pamphlet in his hand. How she did blush all
  • the evening, that poor Lady Jane!
  • It must not be imagined that Mr. Pitt Crawley's artifices escaped the
  • attention of his dear relations at the Rectory at Queen's Crawley.
  • Hampshire and Sussex lie very close together, and Mrs. Bute had friends
  • in the latter county who took care to inform her of all, and a great
  • deal more than all, that passed at Miss Crawley's house at Brighton.
  • Pitt was there more and more. He did not come for months together to
  • the Hall, where his abominable old father abandoned himself completely
  • to rum-and-water, and the odious society of the Horrocks family. Pitt's
  • success rendered the Rector's family furious, and Mrs. Bute regretted
  • more (though she confessed less) than ever her monstrous fault in so
  • insulting Miss Briggs, and in being so haughty and parsimonious to
  • Bowls and Firkin, that she had not a single person left in Miss
  • Crawley's household to give her information of what took place there.
  • "It was all Bute's collar-bone," she persisted in saying; "if that had
  • not broke, I never would have left her. I am a martyr to duty and to
  • your odious unclerical habit of hunting, Bute."
  • "Hunting; nonsense! It was you that frightened her, Barbara," the
  • divine interposed. "You're a clever woman, but you've got a devil of a
  • temper; and you're a screw with your money, Barbara."
  • "You'd have been screwed in gaol, Bute, if I had not kept your money."
  • "I know I would, my dear," said the Rector, good-naturedly. "You ARE a
  • clever woman, but you manage too well, you know": and the pious man
  • consoled himself with a big glass of port.
  • "What the deuce can she find in that spooney of a Pitt Crawley?" he
  • continued. "The fellow has not pluck enough to say Bo to a goose. I
  • remember when Rawdon, who is a man, and be hanged to him, used to flog
  • him round the stables as if he was a whipping-top: and Pitt would go
  • howling home to his ma--ha, ha! Why, either of my boys would whop him
  • with one hand. Jim says he's remembered at Oxford as Miss Crawley
  • still--the spooney.
  • "I say, Barbara," his reverence continued, after a pause.
  • "What?" said Barbara, who was biting her nails, and drumming the table.
  • "I say, why not send Jim over to Brighton to see if he can do anything
  • with the old lady. He's very near getting his degree, you know. He's
  • only been plucked twice--so was I--but he's had the advantages of
  • Oxford and a university education. He knows some of the best chaps
  • there. He pulls stroke in the Boniface boat. He's a handsome feller.
  • D---- it, ma'am, let's put him on the old woman, hey, and tell him to
  • thrash Pitt if he says anything. Ha, ha, ha!
  • "Jim might go down and see her, certainly," the housewife said; adding
  • with a sigh, "If we could but get one of the girls into the house; but
  • she could never endure them, because they are not pretty!" Those
  • unfortunate and well-educated women made themselves heard from the
  • neighbouring drawing-room, where they were thrumming away, with hard
  • fingers, an elaborate music-piece on the piano-forte, as their mother
  • spoke; and indeed, they were at music, or at backboard, or at
  • geography, or at history, the whole day long. But what avail all these
  • accomplishments, in Vanity Fair, to girls who are short, poor, plain,
  • and have a bad complexion? Mrs. Bute could think of nobody but the
  • Curate to take one of them off her hands; and Jim coming in from the
  • stable at this minute, through the parlour window, with a short pipe
  • stuck in his oilskin cap, he and his father fell to talking about odds
  • on the St. Leger, and the colloquy between the Rector and his wife
  • ended.
  • Mrs. Bute did not augur much good to the cause from the sending of her
  • son James as an ambassador, and saw him depart in rather a despairing
  • mood. Nor did the young fellow himself, when told what his mission was
  • to be, expect much pleasure or benefit from it; but he was consoled by
  • the thought that possibly the old lady would give him some handsome
  • remembrance of her, which would pay a few of his most pressing bills at
  • the commencement of the ensuing Oxford term, and so took his place by
  • the coach from Southampton, and was safely landed at Brighton on the
  • same evening with his portmanteau, his favourite bull-dog Towzer, and
  • an immense basket of farm and garden produce, from the dear Rectory
  • folks to the dear Miss Crawley. Considering it was too late to disturb
  • the invalid lady on the first night of his arrival, he put up at an
  • inn, and did not wait upon Miss Crawley until a late hour in the noon
  • of next day.
  • James Crawley, when his aunt had last beheld him, was a gawky lad, at
  • that uncomfortable age when the voice varies between an unearthly
  • treble and a preternatural bass; when the face not uncommonly blooms
  • out with appearances for which Rowland's Kalydor is said to act as a
  • cure; when boys are seen to shave furtively with their sister's
  • scissors, and the sight of other young women produces intolerable
  • sensations of terror in them; when the great hands and ankles protrude
  • a long way from garments which have grown too tight for them; when
  • their presence after dinner is at once frightful to the ladies, who are
  • whispering in the twilight in the drawing-room, and inexpressibly
  • odious to the gentlemen over the mahogany, who are restrained from
  • freedom of intercourse and delightful interchange of wit by the
  • presence of that gawky innocence; when, at the conclusion of the second
  • glass, papa says, "Jack, my boy, go out and see if the evening holds
  • up," and the youth, willing to be free, yet hurt at not being yet a
  • man, quits the incomplete banquet. James, then a hobbadehoy, was now
  • become a young man, having had the benefits of a university education,
  • and acquired the inestimable polish which is gained by living in a fast
  • set at a small college, and contracting debts, and being rusticated,
  • and being plucked.
  • He was a handsome lad, however, when he came to present himself to his
  • aunt at Brighton, and good looks were always a title to the fickle old
  • lady's favour. Nor did his blushes and awkwardness take away from it:
  • she was pleased with these healthy tokens of the young gentleman's
  • ingenuousness.
  • He said "he had come down for a couple of days to see a man of his
  • college, and--and to pay my respects to you, Ma'am, and my father's and
  • mother's, who hope you are well."
  • Pitt was in the room with Miss Crawley when the lad was announced, and
  • looked very blank when his name was mentioned. The old lady had plenty
  • of humour, and enjoyed her correct nephew's perplexity. She asked
  • after all the people at the Rectory with great interest; and said she
  • was thinking of paying them a visit. She praised the lad to his face,
  • and said he was well-grown and very much improved, and that it was a
  • pity his sisters had not some of his good looks; and finding, on
  • inquiry, that he had taken up his quarters at an hotel, would not hear
  • of his stopping there, but bade Mr. Bowls send for Mr. James Crawley's
  • things instantly; "and hark ye, Bowls," she added, with great
  • graciousness, "you will have the goodness to pay Mr. James's bill."
  • She flung Pitt a look of arch triumph, which caused that diplomatist
  • almost to choke with envy. Much as he had ingratiated himself with his
  • aunt, she had never yet invited him to stay under her roof, and here
  • was a young whipper-snapper, who at first sight was made welcome there.
  • "I beg your pardon, sir," says Bowls, advancing with a profound bow;
  • "what 'otel, sir, shall Thomas fetch the luggage from?"
  • "O, dam," said young James, starting up, as if in some alarm, "I'll go."
  • "What!" said Miss Crawley.
  • "The Tom Cribb's Arms," said James, blushing deeply.
  • Miss Crawley burst out laughing at this title. Mr. Bowls gave one
  • abrupt guffaw, as a confidential servant of the family, but choked the
  • rest of the volley; the diplomatist only smiled.
  • "I--I didn't know any better," said James, looking down. "I've never
  • been here before; it was the coachman told me." The young story-teller!
  • The fact is, that on the Southampton coach, the day previous,
  • James Crawley had met the Tutbury Pet, who was coming to Brighton to
  • make a match with the Rottingdean Fibber; and enchanted by the Pet's
  • conversation, had passed the evening in company with that scientific
  • man and his friends, at the inn in question.
  • "I--I'd best go and settle the score," James continued. "Couldn't think
  • of asking you, Ma'am," he added, generously.
  • This delicacy made his aunt laugh the more.
  • "Go and settle the bill, Bowls," she said, with a wave of her hand,
  • "and bring it to me."
  • Poor lady, she did not know what she had done! "There--there's a
  • little dawg," said James, looking frightfully guilty. "I'd best go for
  • him. He bites footmen's calves."
  • All the party cried out with laughing at this description; even Briggs
  • and Lady Jane, who was sitting mute during the interview between Miss
  • Crawley and her nephew: and Bowls, without a word, quitted the room.
  • Still, by way of punishing her elder nephew, Miss Crawley persisted in
  • being gracious to the young Oxonian. There were no limits to her
  • kindness or her compliments when they once began. She told Pitt he
  • might come to dinner, and insisted that James should accompany her in
  • her drive, and paraded him solemnly up and down the cliff, on the back
  • seat of the barouche. During all this excursion, she condescended to
  • say civil things to him: she quoted Italian and French poetry to the
  • poor bewildered lad, and persisted that he was a fine scholar, and was
  • perfectly sure he would gain a gold medal, and be a Senior Wrangler.
  • "Haw, haw," laughed James, encouraged by these compliments; "Senior
  • Wrangler, indeed; that's at the other shop."
  • "What is the other shop, my dear child?" said the lady.
  • "Senior Wranglers at Cambridge, not Oxford," said the scholar, with a
  • knowing air; and would probably have been more confidential, but that
  • suddenly there appeared on the cliff in a tax-cart, drawn by a bang-up
  • pony, dressed in white flannel coats, with mother-of-pearl buttons, his
  • friends the Tutbury Pet and the Rottingdean Fibber, with three other
  • gentlemen of their acquaintance, who all saluted poor James there in
  • the carriage as he sate. This incident damped the ingenuous youth's
  • spirits, and no word of yea or nay could he be induced to utter during
  • the rest of the drive.
  • On his return he found his room prepared, and his portmanteau ready,
  • and might have remarked that Mr. Bowls's countenance, when the latter
  • conducted him to his apartments, wore a look of gravity, wonder, and
  • compassion. But the thought of Mr. Bowls did not enter his head. He
  • was deploring the dreadful predicament in which he found himself, in a
  • house full of old women, jabbering French and Italian, and talking
  • poetry to him. "Reglarly up a tree, by jingo!" exclaimed the modest
  • boy, who could not face the gentlest of her sex--not even Briggs--when
  • she began to talk to him; whereas, put him at Iffley Lock, and he could
  • out-slang the boldest bargeman.
  • At dinner, James appeared choking in a white neckcloth, and had the
  • honour of handing my Lady Jane downstairs, while Briggs and Mr. Crawley
  • followed afterwards, conducting the old lady, with her apparatus of
  • bundles, and shawls, and cushions. Half of Briggs's time at dinner was
  • spent in superintending the invalid's comfort, and in cutting up
  • chicken for her fat spaniel. James did not talk much, but he made a
  • point of asking all the ladies to drink wine, and accepted Mr.
  • Crawley's challenge, and consumed the greater part of a bottle of
  • champagne which Mr. Bowls was ordered to produce in his honour. The
  • ladies having withdrawn, and the two cousins being left together, Pitt,
  • the ex-diplomatist, he came very communicative and friendly. He asked
  • after James's career at college--what his prospects in life were--hoped
  • heartily he would get on; and, in a word, was frank and amiable.
  • James's tongue unloosed with the port, and he told his cousin his life,
  • his prospects, his debts, his troubles at the little-go, and his rows
  • with the proctors, filling rapidly from the bottles before him, and
  • flying from Port to Madeira with joyous activity.
  • "The chief pleasure which my aunt has," said Mr. Crawley, filling his
  • glass, "is that people should do as they like in her house. This is
  • Liberty Hall, James, and you can't do Miss Crawley a greater kindness
  • than to do as you please, and ask for what you will. I know you have
  • all sneered at me in the country for being a Tory. Miss Crawley is
  • liberal enough to suit any fancy. She is a Republican in principle,
  • and despises everything like rank or title."
  • "Why are you going to marry an Earl's daughter?" said James.
  • "My dear friend, remember it is not poor Lady Jane's fault that she is
  • well born," Pitt replied, with a courtly air. "She cannot help being a
  • lady. Besides, I am a Tory, you know."
  • "Oh, as for that," said Jim, "there's nothing like old blood; no,
  • dammy, nothing like it. I'm none of your radicals. I know what it is
  • to be a gentleman, dammy. See the chaps in a boat-race; look at the
  • fellers in a fight; aye, look at a dawg killing rats--which is it wins?
  • the good-blooded ones. Get some more port, Bowls, old boy, whilst I
  • buzz this bottle here. What was I asaying?"
  • "I think you were speaking of dogs killing rats," Pitt remarked mildly,
  • handing his cousin the decanter to "buzz."
  • "Killing rats was I? Well, Pitt, are you a sporting man? Do you want to
  • see a dawg as CAN kill a rat? If you do, come down with me to Tom
  • Corduroy's, in Castle Street Mews, and I'll show you such a bull-terrier
  • as--Pooh! gammon," cried James, bursting out laughing at his
  • own absurdity--"YOU don't care about a dawg or rat; it's all nonsense.
  • I'm blest if I think you know the difference between a dog and a duck."
  • "No; by the way," Pitt continued with increased blandness, "it was
  • about blood you were talking, and the personal advantages which people
  • derive from patrician birth. Here's the fresh bottle."
  • "Blood's the word," said James, gulping the ruby fluid down. "Nothing
  • like blood, sir, in hosses, dawgs, AND men. Why, only last term, just
  • before I was rusticated, that is, I mean just before I had the measles,
  • ha, ha--there was me and Ringwood of Christchurch, Bob Ringwood, Lord
  • Cinqbars' son, having our beer at the Bell at Blenheim, when the
  • Banbury bargeman offered to fight either of us for a bowl of punch. I
  • couldn't. My arm was in a sling; couldn't even take the drag down--a
  • brute of a mare of mine had fell with me only two days before, out with
  • the Abingdon, and I thought my arm was broke. Well, sir, I couldn't
  • finish him, but Bob had his coat off at once--he stood up to the
  • Banbury man for three minutes, and polished him off in four rounds
  • easy. Gad, how he did drop, sir, and what was it? Blood, sir, all
  • blood."
  • "You don't drink, James," the ex-attache continued. "In my time at
  • Oxford, the men passed round the bottle a little quicker than you young
  • fellows seem to do."
  • "Come, come," said James, putting his hand to his nose and winking at
  • his cousin with a pair of vinous eyes, "no jokes, old boy; no trying it
  • on on me. You want to trot me out, but it's no go. In vino veritas,
  • old boy. Mars, Bacchus, Apollo virorum, hey? I wish my aunt would send
  • down some of this to the governor; it's a precious good tap."
  • "You had better ask her," Machiavel continued, "or make the best of
  • your time now. What says the bard? 'Nunc vino pellite curas, Cras
  • ingens iterabimus aequor,'" and the Bacchanalian, quoting the above
  • with a House of Commons air, tossed off nearly a thimbleful of wine
  • with an immense flourish of his glass.
  • At the Rectory, when the bottle of port wine was opened after dinner,
  • the young ladies had each a glass from a bottle of currant wine. Mrs.
  • Bute took one glass of port, honest James had a couple commonly, but as
  • his father grew very sulky if he made further inroads on the bottle,
  • the good lad generally refrained from trying for more, and subsided
  • either into the currant wine, or to some private gin-and-water in the
  • stables, which he enjoyed in the company of the coachman and his pipe.
  • At Oxford, the quantity of wine was unlimited, but the quality was
  • inferior: but when quantity and quality united as at his aunt's house,
  • James showed that he could appreciate them indeed; and hardly needed
  • any of his cousin's encouragement in draining off the second bottle
  • supplied by Mr. Bowls.
  • When the time for coffee came, however, and for a return to the ladies,
  • of whom he stood in awe, the young gentleman's agreeable frankness left
  • him, and he relapsed into his usual surly timidity; contenting himself
  • by saying yes and no, by scowling at Lady Jane, and by upsetting one
  • cup of coffee during the evening.
  • If he did not speak he yawned in a pitiable manner, and his presence
  • threw a damp upon the modest proceedings of the evening, for Miss
  • Crawley and Lady Jane at their piquet, and Miss Briggs at her work,
  • felt that his eyes were wildly fixed on them, and were uneasy under
  • that maudlin look.
  • "He seems a very silent, awkward, bashful lad," said Miss Crawley to
  • Mr. Pitt.
  • "He is more communicative in men's society than with ladies," Machiavel
  • dryly replied: perhaps rather disappointed that the port wine had not
  • made Jim speak more.
  • He had spent the early part of the next morning in writing home to his
  • mother a most flourishing account of his reception by Miss Crawley.
  • But ah! he little knew what evils the day was bringing for him, and how
  • short his reign of favour was destined to be. A circumstance which Jim
  • had forgotten--a trivial but fatal circumstance--had taken place at the
  • Cribb's Arms on the night before he had come to his aunt's house. It
  • was no other than this--Jim, who was always of a generous disposition,
  • and when in his cups especially hospitable, had in the course of the
  • night treated the Tutbury champion and the Rottingdean man, and their
  • friends, twice or thrice to the refreshment of gin-and-water--so that
  • no less than eighteen glasses of that fluid at eightpence per glass
  • were charged in Mr. James Crawley's bill. It was not the amount of
  • eightpences, but the quantity of gin which told fatally against poor
  • James's character, when his aunt's butler, Mr. Bowls, went down at his
  • mistress's request to pay the young gentleman's bill. The landlord,
  • fearing lest the account should be refused altogether, swore solemnly
  • that the young gent had consumed personally every farthing's worth of
  • the liquor: and Bowls paid the bill finally, and showed it on his
  • return home to Mrs. Firkin, who was shocked at the frightful
  • prodigality of gin; and took the bill to Miss Briggs as
  • accountant-general; who thought it her duty to mention the circumstance
  • to her principal, Miss Crawley.
  • Had he drunk a dozen bottles of claret, the old spinster could have
  • pardoned him. Mr. Fox and Mr. Sheridan drank claret. Gentlemen drank
  • claret. But eighteen glasses of gin consumed among boxers in an
  • ignoble pot-house--it was an odious crime and not to be pardoned
  • readily. Everything went against the lad: he came home perfumed from
  • the stables, whither he had been to pay his dog Towzer a visit--and
  • whence he was going to take his friend out for an airing, when he met
  • Miss Crawley and her wheezy Blenheim spaniel, which Towzer would have
  • eaten up had not the Blenheim fled squealing to the protection of Miss
  • Briggs, while the atrocious master of the bull-dog stood laughing at
  • the horrible persecution.
  • This day too the unlucky boy's modesty had likewise forsaken him. He
  • was lively and facetious at dinner. During the repast he levelled one
  • or two jokes against Pitt Crawley: he drank as much wine as upon the
  • previous day; and going quite unsuspiciously to the drawing-room, began
  • to entertain the ladies there with some choice Oxford stories. He
  • described the different pugilistic qualities of Molyneux and Dutch Sam,
  • offered playfully to give Lady Jane the odds upon the Tutbury Pet
  • against the Rottingdean man, or take them, as her Ladyship chose: and
  • crowned the pleasantry by proposing to back himself against his cousin
  • Pitt Crawley, either with or without the gloves. "And that's a fair
  • offer, my buck," he said, with a loud laugh, slapping Pitt on the
  • shoulder, "and my father told me to make it too, and he'll go halves in
  • the bet, ha, ha!" So saying, the engaging youth nodded knowingly at
  • poor Miss Briggs, and pointed his thumb over his shoulder at Pitt
  • Crawley in a jocular and exulting manner.
  • Pitt was not pleased altogether perhaps, but still not unhappy in the
  • main. Poor Jim had his laugh out: and staggered across the room with
  • his aunt's candle, when the old lady moved to retire, and offered to
  • salute her with the blandest tipsy smile: and he took his own leave
  • and went upstairs to his bedroom perfectly satisfied with himself, and
  • with a pleased notion that his aunt's money would be left to him in
  • preference to his father and all the rest of the family.
  • Once up in the bedroom, one would have thought he could not make
  • matters worse; and yet this unlucky boy did. The moon was shining very
  • pleasantly out on the sea, and Jim, attracted to the window by the
  • romantic appearance of the ocean and the heavens, thought he would
  • further enjoy them while smoking. Nobody would smell the tobacco, he
  • thought, if he cunningly opened the window and kept his head and pipe
  • in the fresh air. This he did: but being in an excited state, poor Jim
  • had forgotten that his door was open all this time, so that the breeze
  • blowing inwards and a fine thorough draught being established, the
  • clouds of tobacco were carried downstairs, and arrived with quite
  • undiminished fragrance to Miss Crawley and Miss Briggs.
  • The pipe of tobacco finished the business: and the Bute-Crawleys never
  • knew how many thousand pounds it cost them. Firkin rushed downstairs
  • to Bowls who was reading out the "Fire and the Frying Pan" to his
  • aide-de-camp in a loud and ghostly voice. The dreadful secret was told
  • to him by Firkin with so frightened a look, that for the first moment
  • Mr. Bowls and his young man thought that robbers were in the house, the
  • legs of whom had probably been discovered by the woman under Miss
  • Crawley's bed. When made aware of the fact, however--to rush upstairs
  • at three steps at a time to enter the unconscious James's apartment,
  • calling out, "Mr. James," in a voice stifled with alarm, and to cry,
  • "For Gawd's sake, sir, stop that 'ere pipe," was the work of a minute
  • with Mr. Bowls. "O, Mr. James, what 'AVE you done!" he said in a voice
  • of the deepest pathos, as he threw the implement out of the window.
  • "What 'ave you done, sir! Missis can't abide 'em."
  • "Missis needn't smoke," said James with a frantic misplaced laugh, and
  • thought the whole matter an excellent joke. But his feelings were very
  • different in the morning, when Mr. Bowls's young man, who operated upon
  • Mr. James's boots, and brought him his hot water to shave that beard
  • which he was so anxiously expecting, handed a note in to Mr. James in
  • bed, in the handwriting of Miss Briggs.
  • "Dear sir," it said, "Miss Crawley has passed an exceedingly disturbed
  • night, owing to the shocking manner in which the house has been
  • polluted by tobacco; Miss Crawley bids me say she regrets that she is
  • too unwell to see you before you go--and above all that she ever
  • induced you to remove from the ale-house, where she is sure you will be
  • much more comfortable during the rest of your stay at Brighton."
  • And herewith honest James's career as a candidate for his aunt's favour
  • ended. He had in fact, and without knowing it, done what he menaced to
  • do. He had fought his cousin Pitt with the gloves.
  • Where meanwhile was he who had been once first favourite for this race
  • for money? Becky and Rawdon, as we have seen, were come together after
  • Waterloo, and were passing the winter of 1815 at Paris in great
  • splendour and gaiety. Rebecca was a good economist, and the price poor
  • Jos Sedley had paid for her two horses was in itself sufficient to keep
  • their little establishment afloat for a year, at the least; there was
  • no occasion to turn into money "my pistols, the same which I shot
  • Captain Marker," or the gold dressing-case, or the cloak lined with
  • sable. Becky had it made into a pelisse for herself, in which she rode
  • in the Bois de Boulogne to the admiration of all: and you should have
  • seen the scene between her and her delighted husband, whom she rejoined
  • after the army had entered Cambray, and when she unsewed herself, and
  • let out of her dress all those watches, knick-knacks, bank-notes,
  • cheques, and valuables, which she had secreted in the wadding, previous
  • to her meditated flight from Brussels! Tufto was charmed, and Rawdon
  • roared with delighted laughter, and swore that she was better than any
  • play he ever saw, by Jove. And the way in which she jockeyed Jos, and
  • which she described with infinite fun, carried up his delight to a
  • pitch of quite insane enthusiasm. He believed in his wife as much as
  • the French soldiers in Napoleon.
  • Her success in Paris was remarkable. All the French ladies voted her
  • charming. She spoke their language admirably. She adopted at once
  • their grace, their liveliness, their manner. Her husband was stupid
  • certainly--all English are stupid--and, besides, a dull husband at
  • Paris is always a point in a lady's favour. He was the heir of the
  • rich and spirituelle Miss Crawley, whose house had been open to so many
  • of the French noblesse during the emigration. They received the
  • colonel's wife in their own hotels--"Why," wrote a great lady to Miss
  • Crawley, who had bought her lace and trinkets at the Duchess's own
  • price, and given her many a dinner during the pinching times after the
  • Revolution--"Why does not our dear Miss come to her nephew and niece,
  • and her attached friends in Paris? All the world raffoles of the
  • charming Mistress and her espiegle beauty. Yes, we see in her the
  • grace, the charm, the wit of our dear friend Miss Crawley! The King
  • took notice of her yesterday at the Tuileries, and we are all jealous
  • of the attention which Monsieur pays her. If you could have seen the
  • spite of a certain stupid Miladi Bareacres (whose eagle-beak and toque
  • and feathers may be seen peering over the heads of all assemblies) when
  • Madame, the Duchess of Angouleme, the august daughter and companion of
  • kings, desired especially to be presented to Mrs. Crawley, as your dear
  • daughter and protegee, and thanked her in the name of France, for all
  • your benevolence towards our unfortunates during their exile! She is of
  • all the societies, of all the balls--of the balls--yes--of the dances,
  • no; and yet how interesting and pretty this fair creature looks
  • surrounded by the homage of the men, and so soon to be a mother! To
  • hear her speak of you, her protectress, her mother, would bring tears
  • to the eyes of ogres. How she loves you! how we all love our
  • admirable, our respectable Miss Crawley!"
  • It is to be feared that this letter of the Parisian great lady did not
  • by any means advance Mrs. Becky's interest with her admirable, her
  • respectable, relative. On the contrary, the fury of the old spinster
  • was beyond bounds, when she found what was Rebecca's situation, and how
  • audaciously she had made use of Miss Crawley's name, to get an entree
  • into Parisian society. Too much shaken in mind and body to compose a
  • letter in the French language in reply to that of her correspondent,
  • she dictated to Briggs a furious answer in her own native tongue,
  • repudiating Mrs. Rawdon Crawley altogether, and warning the public to
  • beware of her as a most artful and dangerous person. But as Madame the
  • Duchess of X--had only been twenty years in England, she did not
  • understand a single word of the language, and contented herself by
  • informing Mrs. Rawdon Crawley at their next meeting, that she had
  • received a charming letter from that chere Mees, and that it was full
  • of benevolent things for Mrs. Crawley, who began seriously to have
  • hopes that the spinster would relent.
  • Meanwhile, she was the gayest and most admired of Englishwomen: and
  • had a little European congress on her reception-night. Prussians and
  • Cossacks, Spanish and English--all the world was at Paris during this
  • famous winter: to have seen the stars and cordons in Rebecca's humble
  • saloon would have made all Baker Street pale with envy. Famous warriors
  • rode by her carriage in the Bois, or crowded her modest little box at
  • the Opera. Rawdon was in the highest spirits. There were no duns in
  • Paris as yet: there were parties every day at Very's or Beauvilliers';
  • play was plentiful and his luck good. Tufto perhaps was sulky. Mrs.
  • Tufto had come over to Paris at her own invitation, and besides this
  • contretemps, there were a score of generals now round Becky's chair,
  • and she might take her choice of a dozen bouquets when she went to the
  • play. Lady Bareacres and the chiefs of the English society, stupid and
  • irreproachable females, writhed with anguish at the success of the
  • little upstart Becky, whose poisoned jokes quivered and rankled in
  • their chaste breasts. But she had all the men on her side. She fought
  • the women with indomitable courage, and they could not talk scandal in
  • any tongue but their own.
  • So in fetes, pleasures, and prosperity, the winter of 1815-16 passed
  • away with Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, who accommodated herself to polite life
  • as if her ancestors had been people of fashion for centuries past--and
  • who from her wit, talent, and energy, indeed merited a place of honour
  • in Vanity Fair. In the early spring of 1816, Galignani's Journal
  • contained the following announcement in an interesting corner of the
  • paper: "On the 26th of March--the Lady of Lieutenant-Colonel Crawley,
  • of the Life Guards Green--of a son and heir."
  • This event was copied into the London papers, out of which Miss Briggs
  • read the statement to Miss Crawley, at breakfast, at Brighton. The
  • intelligence, expected as it might have been, caused a crisis in the
  • affairs of the Crawley family. The spinster's rage rose to its height,
  • and sending instantly for Pitt, her nephew, and for the Lady Southdown,
  • from Brunswick Square, she requested an immediate celebration of the
  • marriage which had been so long pending between the two families. And
  • she announced that it was her intention to allow the young couple a
  • thousand a year during her lifetime, at the expiration of which the
  • bulk of her property would be settled upon her nephew and her dear
  • niece, Lady Jane Crawley. Waxy came down to ratify the deeds--Lord
  • Southdown gave away his sister--she was married by a Bishop, and not by
  • the Rev. Bartholomew Irons--to the disappointment of the irregular
  • prelate.
  • When they were married, Pitt would have liked to take a hymeneal tour
  • with his bride, as became people of their condition. But the affection
  • of the old lady towards Lady Jane had grown so strong, that she fairly
  • owned she could not part with her favourite. Pitt and his wife came
  • therefore and lived with Miss Crawley: and (greatly to the annoyance of
  • poor Pitt, who conceived himself a most injured character--being
  • subject to the humours of his aunt on one side, and of his
  • mother-in-law on the other). Lady Southdown, from her neighbouring
  • house, reigned over the whole family--Pitt, Lady Jane, Miss Crawley,
  • Briggs, Bowls, Firkin, and all. She pitilessly dosed them with her
  • tracts and her medicine, she dismissed Creamer, she installed Rodgers,
  • and soon stripped Miss Crawley of even the semblance of authority. The
  • poor soul grew so timid that she actually left off bullying Briggs any
  • more, and clung to her niece, more fond and terrified every day. Peace
  • to thee, kind and selfish, vain and generous old heathen!--We shall see
  • thee no more. Let us hope that Lady Jane supported her kindly, and led
  • her with gentle hand out of the busy struggle of Vanity Fair.
  • CHAPTER XXXV
  • Widow and Mother
  • The news of the great fights of Quatre Bras and Waterloo reached
  • England at the same time. The Gazette first published the result of
  • the two battles; at which glorious intelligence all England thrilled
  • with triumph and fear. Particulars then followed; and after the
  • announcement of the victories came the list of the wounded and the
  • slain. Who can tell the dread with which that catalogue was opened and
  • read! Fancy, at every village and homestead almost through the three
  • kingdoms, the great news coming of the battles in Flanders, and the
  • feelings of exultation and gratitude, bereavement and sickening dismay,
  • when the lists of the regimental losses were gone through, and it
  • became known whether the dear friend and relative had escaped or
  • fallen. Anybody who will take the trouble of looking back to a file of
  • the newspapers of the time, must, even now, feel at second-hand this
  • breathless pause of expectation. The lists of casualties are carried
  • on from day to day: you stop in the midst as in a story which is to be
  • continued in our next. Think what the feelings must have been as those
  • papers followed each other fresh from the press; and if such an
  • interest could be felt in our country, and about a battle where but
  • twenty thousand of our people were engaged, think of the condition of
  • Europe for twenty years before, where people were fighting, not by
  • thousands, but by millions; each one of whom as he struck his enemy
  • wounded horribly some other innocent heart far away.
  • The news which that famous Gazette brought to the Osbornes gave a
  • dreadful shock to the family and its chief. The girls indulged
  • unrestrained in their grief. The gloom-stricken old father was still
  • more borne down by his fate and sorrow. He strove to think that a
  • judgment was on the boy for his disobedience. He dared not own that
  • the severity of the sentence frightened him, and that its fulfilment
  • had come too soon upon his curses. Sometimes a shuddering terror
  • struck him, as if he had been the author of the doom which he had
  • called down on his son. There was a chance before of reconciliation.
  • The boy's wife might have died; or he might have come back and said,
  • Father I have sinned. But there was no hope now. He stood on the
  • other side of the gulf impassable, haunting his parent with sad eyes.
  • He remembered them once before so in a fever, when every one thought
  • the lad was dying, and he lay on his bed speechless, and gazing with a
  • dreadful gloom. Good God! how the father clung to the doctor then, and
  • with what a sickening anxiety he followed him: what a weight of grief
  • was off his mind when, after the crisis of the fever, the lad
  • recovered, and looked at his father once more with eyes that recognised
  • him. But now there was no help or cure, or chance of reconcilement:
  • above all, there were no humble words to soothe vanity outraged and
  • furious, or bring to its natural flow the poisoned, angry blood. And
  • it is hard to say which pang it was that tore the proud father's heart
  • most keenly--that his son should have gone out of the reach of his
  • forgiveness, or that the apology which his own pride expected should
  • have escaped him.
  • Whatever his sensations might have been, however, the stern old man
  • would have no confidant. He never mentioned his son's name to his
  • daughters; but ordered the elder to place all the females of the
  • establishment in mourning; and desired that the male servants should be
  • similarly attired in deep black. All parties and entertainments, of
  • course, were to be put off. No communications were made to his future
  • son-in-law, whose marriage-day had been fixed: but there was enough in
  • Mr. Osborne's appearance to prevent Mr. Bullock from making any
  • inquiries, or in any way pressing forward that ceremony. He and the
  • ladies whispered about it under their voices in the drawing-room
  • sometimes, whither the father never came. He remained constantly in
  • his own study; the whole front part of the house being closed until
  • some time after the completion of the general mourning.
  • About three weeks after the 18th of June, Mr. Osborne's acquaintance,
  • Sir William Dobbin, called at Mr. Osborne's house in Russell Square,
  • with a very pale and agitated face, and insisted upon seeing that
  • gentleman. Ushered into his room, and after a few words, which neither
  • the speaker nor the host understood, the former produced from an
  • inclosure a letter sealed with a large red seal. "My son, Major
  • Dobbin," the Alderman said, with some hesitation, "despatched me a
  • letter by an officer of the --th, who arrived in town to-day. My son's
  • letter contains one for you, Osborne." The Alderman placed the letter
  • on the table, and Osborne stared at him for a moment or two in silence.
  • His looks frightened the ambassador, who after looking guiltily for a
  • little time at the grief-stricken man, hurried away without another
  • word.
  • The letter was in George's well-known bold handwriting. It was that one
  • which he had written before daybreak on the 16th of June, and just
  • before he took leave of Amelia. The great red seal was emblazoned with
  • the sham coat of arms which Osborne had assumed from the Peerage, with
  • "Pax in bello" for a motto; that of the ducal house with which the vain
  • old man tried to fancy himself connected. The hand that signed it would
  • never hold pen or sword more. The very seal that sealed it had been
  • robbed from George's dead body as it lay on the field of battle. The
  • father knew nothing of this, but sat and looked at the letter in
  • terrified vacancy. He almost fell when he went to open it.
  • Have you ever had a difference with a dear friend? How his letters,
  • written in the period of love and confidence, sicken and rebuke you!
  • What a dreary mourning it is to dwell upon those vehement protests of
  • dead affection! What lying epitaphs they make over the corpse of love!
  • What dark, cruel comments upon Life and Vanities! Most of us have got
  • or written drawers full of them. They are closet-skeletons which we
  • keep and shun. Osborne trembled long before the letter from his dead
  • son.
  • The poor boy's letter did not say much. He had been too proud to
  • acknowledge the tenderness which his heart felt. He only said, that on
  • the eve of a great battle, he wished to bid his father farewell, and
  • solemnly to implore his good offices for the wife--it might be for the
  • child--whom he left behind him. He owned with contrition that his
  • irregularities and his extravagance had already wasted a large part of
  • his mother's little fortune. He thanked his father for his former
  • generous conduct; and he promised him that if he fell on the field or
  • survived it, he would act in a manner worthy of the name of George
  • Osborne.
  • His English habit, pride, awkwardness perhaps, had prevented him from
  • saying more. His father could not see the kiss George had placed on
  • the superscription of his letter. Mr. Osborne dropped it with the
  • bitterest, deadliest pang of balked affection and revenge. His son was
  • still beloved and unforgiven.
  • About two months afterwards, however, as the young ladies of the family
  • went to church with their father, they remarked how he took a different
  • seat from that which he usually occupied when he chose to attend divine
  • worship; and that from his cushion opposite, he looked up at the wall
  • over their heads. This caused the young women likewise to gaze in the
  • direction towards which their father's gloomy eyes pointed: and they
  • saw an elaborate monument upon the wall, where Britannia was
  • represented weeping over an urn, and a broken sword and a couchant lion
  • indicated that the piece of sculpture had been erected in honour of a
  • deceased warrior. The sculptors of those days had stocks of such
  • funereal emblems in hand; as you may see still on the walls of St.
  • Paul's, which are covered with hundreds of these braggart heathen
  • allegories. There was a constant demand for them during the first
  • fifteen years of the present century.
  • Under the memorial in question were emblazoned the well-known and
  • pompous Osborne arms; and the inscription said, that the monument was
  • "Sacred to the memory of George Osborne, Junior, Esq., late a Captain
  • in his Majesty's --th regiment of foot, who fell on the 18th of June,
  • 1815, aged 28 years, while fighting for his king and country in the
  • glorious victory of Waterloo. Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori."
  • The sight of that stone agitated the nerves of the sisters so much,
  • that Miss Maria was compelled to leave the church. The congregation
  • made way respectfully for those sobbing girls clothed in deep black,
  • and pitied the stern old father seated opposite the memorial of the
  • dead soldier. "Will he forgive Mrs. George?" the girls said to
  • themselves as soon as their ebullition of grief was over. Much
  • conversation passed too among the acquaintances of the Osborne family,
  • who knew of the rupture between the son and father caused by the
  • former's marriage, as to the chance of a reconciliation with the young
  • widow. There were bets among the gentlemen both about Russell Square
  • and in the City.
  • If the sisters had any anxiety regarding the possible recognition of
  • Amelia as a daughter of the family, it was increased presently, and
  • towards the end of the autumn, by their father's announcement that he
  • was going abroad. He did not say whither, but they knew at once that
  • his steps would be turned towards Belgium, and were aware that George's
  • widow was still in Brussels. They had pretty accurate news indeed of
  • poor Amelia from Lady Dobbin and her daughters. Our honest Captain had
  • been promoted in consequence of the death of the second Major of the
  • regiment on the field; and the brave O'Dowd, who had distinguished
  • himself greatly here as upon all occasions where he had a chance to
  • show his coolness and valour, was a Colonel and Companion of the Bath.
  • Very many of the brave --th, who had suffered severely upon both days
  • of action, were still at Brussels in the autumn, recovering of their
  • wounds. The city was a vast military hospital for months after the
  • great battles; and as men and officers began to rally from their hurts,
  • the gardens and places of public resort swarmed with maimed warriors,
  • old and young, who, just rescued out of death, fell to gambling, and
  • gaiety, and love-making, as people of Vanity Fair will do. Mr. Osborne
  • found out some of the --th easily. He knew their uniform quite well,
  • and had been used to follow all the promotions and exchanges in the
  • regiment, and loved to talk about it and its officers as if he had been
  • one of the number. On the day after his arrival at Brussels, and as he
  • issued from his hotel, which faced the park, he saw a soldier in the
  • well-known facings, reposing on a stone bench in the garden, and went
  • and sate down trembling by the wounded convalescent man.
  • "Were you in Captain Osborne's company?" he said, and added, after a
  • pause, "he was my son, sir."
  • The man was not of the Captain's company, but he lifted up his
  • unwounded arm and touched his cap sadly and respectfully to the haggard
  • broken-spirited gentleman who questioned him. "The whole army didn't
  • contain a finer or a better officer," the soldier said. "The Sergeant
  • of the Captain's company (Captain Raymond had it now), was in town,
  • though, and was just well of a shot in the shoulder. His honour might
  • see him if he liked, who could tell him anything he wanted to know
  • about--about the --th's actions. But his honour had seen Major Dobbin,
  • no doubt, the brave Captain's great friend; and Mrs. Osborne, who was
  • here too, and had been very bad, he heard everybody say. They say she
  • was out of her mind like for six weeks or more. But your honour knows
  • all about that--and asking your pardon"--the man added.
  • Osborne put a guinea into the soldier's hand, and told him he should
  • have another if he would bring the Sergeant to the Hotel du Parc; a
  • promise which very soon brought the desired officer to Mr. Osborne's
  • presence. And the first soldier went away; and after telling a comrade
  • or two how Captain Osborne's father was arrived, and what a free-handed
  • generous gentleman he was, they went and made good cheer with drink and
  • feasting, as long as the guineas lasted which had come from the proud
  • purse of the mourning old father.
  • In the Sergeant's company, who was also just convalescent, Osborne made
  • the journey of Waterloo and Quatre Bras, a journey which thousands of
  • his countrymen were then taking. He took the Sergeant with him in his
  • carriage, and went through both fields under his guidance. He saw the
  • point of the road where the regiment marched into action on the 16th,
  • and the slope down which they drove the French cavalry who were
  • pressing on the retreating Belgians. There was the spot where the
  • noble Captain cut down the French officer who was grappling with the
  • young Ensign for the colours, the Colour-Sergeants having been shot
  • down. Along this road they retreated on the next day, and here was the
  • bank at which the regiment bivouacked under the rain of the night of
  • the seventeenth. Further on was the position which they took and held
  • during the day, forming time after time to receive the charge of the
  • enemy's horsemen and lying down under the shelter of the bank from the
  • furious French cannonade. And it was at this declivity when at evening
  • the whole English line received the order to advance, as the enemy fell
  • back after his last charge, that the Captain, hurraying and rushing
  • down the hill waving his sword, received a shot and fell dead. "It was
  • Major Dobbin who took back the Captain's body to Brussels," the
  • Sergeant said, in a low voice, "and had him buried, as your honour
  • knows." The peasants and relic-hunters about the place were screaming
  • round the pair, as the soldier told his story, offering for sale all
  • sorts of mementoes of the fight, crosses, and epaulets, and shattered
  • cuirasses, and eagles.
  • Osborne gave a sumptuous reward to the Sergeant when he parted with
  • him, after having visited the scenes of his son's last exploits. His
  • burial-place he had already seen. Indeed, he had driven thither
  • immediately after his arrival at Brussels. George's body lay in the
  • pretty burial-ground of Laeken, near the city; in which place, having
  • once visited it on a party of pleasure, he had lightly expressed a wish
  • to have his grave made. And there the young officer was laid by his
  • friend, in the unconsecrated corner of the garden, separated by a
  • little hedge from the temples and towers and plantations of flowers and
  • shrubs, under which the Roman Catholic dead repose. It seemed a
  • humiliation to old Osborne to think that his son, an English gentleman,
  • a captain in the famous British army, should not be found worthy to lie
  • in ground where mere foreigners were buried. Which of us is there can
  • tell how much vanity lurks in our warmest regard for others, and how
  • selfish our love is? Old Osborne did not speculate much upon the
  • mingled nature of his feelings, and how his instinct and selfishness
  • were combating together. He firmly believed that everything he did was
  • right, that he ought on all occasions to have his own way--and like the
  • sting of a wasp or serpent his hatred rushed out armed and poisonous
  • against anything like opposition. He was proud of his hatred as of
  • everything else. Always to be right, always to trample forward, and
  • never to doubt, are not these the great qualities with which dullness
  • takes the lead in the world?
  • As after the drive to Waterloo, Mr. Osborne's carriage was nearing the
  • gates of the city at sunset, they met another open barouche, in which
  • were a couple of ladies and a gentleman, and by the side of which an
  • officer was riding. Osborne gave a start back, and the Sergeant,
  • seated with him, cast a look of surprise at his neighbour, as he
  • touched his cap to the officer, who mechanically returned his salute.
  • It was Amelia, with the lame young Ensign by her side, and opposite to
  • her her faithful friend Mrs. O'Dowd. It was Amelia, but how changed
  • from the fresh and comely girl Osborne knew. Her face was white and
  • thin. Her pretty brown hair was parted under a widow's cap--the poor
  • child. Her eyes were fixed, and looking nowhere. They stared blank in
  • the face of Osborne, as the carriages crossed each other, but she did
  • not know him; nor did he recognise her, until looking up, he saw Dobbin
  • riding by her: and then he knew who it was. He hated her. He did not
  • know how much until he saw her there. When her carriage had passed on,
  • he turned and stared at the Sergeant, with a curse and defiance in his
  • eye cast at his companion, who could not help looking at him--as much
  • as to say "How dare you look at me? Damn you! I do hate her. It is
  • she who has tumbled my hopes and all my pride down." "Tell the
  • scoundrel to drive on quick," he shouted with an oath, to the lackey on
  • the box. A minute afterwards, a horse came clattering over the pavement
  • behind Osborne's carriage, and Dobbin rode up. His thoughts had been
  • elsewhere as the carriages passed each other, and it was not until he
  • had ridden some paces forward, that he remembered it was Osborne who
  • had just passed him. Then he turned to examine if the sight of her
  • father-in-law had made any impression on Amelia, but the poor girl did
  • not know who had passed. Then William, who daily used to accompany her
  • in his drives, taking out his watch, made some excuse about an
  • engagement which he suddenly recollected, and so rode off. She did not
  • remark that either: but sate looking before her, over the homely
  • landscape towards the woods in the distance, by which George marched
  • away.
  • "Mr. Osborne, Mr. Osborne!" cried Dobbin, as he rode up and held out
  • his hand. Osborne made no motion to take it, but shouted out once more
  • and with another curse to his servant to drive on.
  • Dobbin laid his hand on the carriage side. "I will see you, sir," he
  • said. "I have a message for you."
  • "From that woman?" said Osborne, fiercely.
  • "No," replied the other, "from your son"; at which Osborne fell back
  • into the corner of his carriage, and Dobbin allowing it to pass on,
  • rode close behind it, and so through the town until they reached Mr.
  • Osborne's hotel, and without a word. There he followed Osborne up to
  • his apartments. George had often been in the rooms; they were the
  • lodgings which the Crawleys had occupied during their stay in Brussels.
  • "Pray, have you any commands for me, Captain Dobbin, or, I beg your
  • pardon, I should say MAJOR Dobbin, since better men than you are dead,
  • and you step into their SHOES?" said Mr. Osborne, in that sarcastic
  • tone which he sometimes was pleased to assume.
  • "Better men ARE dead," Dobbin replied. "I want to speak to you about
  • one."
  • "Make it short, sir," said the other with an oath, scowling at his
  • visitor.
  • "I am here as his closest friend," the Major resumed, "and the executor
  • of his will. He made it before he went into action. Are you aware how
  • small his means are, and of the straitened circumstances of his widow?"
  • "I don't know his widow, sir," Osborne said. "Let her go back to her
  • father." But the gentleman whom he addressed was determined to remain
  • in good temper, and went on without heeding the interruption.
  • "Do you know, sir, Mrs. Osborne's condition? Her life and her reason
  • almost have been shaken by the blow which has fallen on her. It is
  • very doubtful whether she will rally. There is a chance left for her,
  • however, and it is about this I came to speak to you. She will be a
  • mother soon. Will you visit the parent's offence upon the child's
  • head? or will you forgive the child for poor George's sake?"
  • Osborne broke out into a rhapsody of self-praise and imprecations;--by
  • the first, excusing himself to his own conscience for his conduct; by
  • the second, exaggerating the undutifulness of George. No father in all
  • England could have behaved more generously to a son, who had rebelled
  • against him wickedly. He had died without even so much as confessing
  • he was wrong. Let him take the consequences of his undutifulness and
  • folly. As for himself, Mr. Osborne, he was a man of his word. He had
  • sworn never to speak to that woman, or to recognize her as his son's
  • wife. "And that's what you may tell her," he concluded with an oath;
  • "and that's what I will stick to to the last day of my life."
  • There was no hope from that quarter then. The widow must live on her
  • slender pittance, or on such aid as Jos could give her. "I might tell
  • her, and she would not heed it," thought Dobbin, sadly: for the poor
  • girl's thoughts were not here at all since her catastrophe, and,
  • stupefied under the pressure of her sorrow, good and evil were alike
  • indifferent to her.
  • So, indeed, were even friendship and kindness. She received them both
  • uncomplainingly, and having accepted them, relapsed into her grief.
  • Suppose some twelve months after the above conversation took place to
  • have passed in the life of our poor Amelia. She has spent the first
  • portion of that time in a sorrow so profound and pitiable, that we who
  • have been watching and describing some of the emotions of that weak and
  • tender heart, must draw back in the presence of the cruel grief under
  • which it is bleeding. Tread silently round the hapless couch of the
  • poor prostrate soul. Shut gently the door of the dark chamber wherein
  • she suffers, as those kind people did who nursed her through the first
  • months of her pain, and never left her until heaven had sent her
  • consolation. A day came--of almost terrified delight and wonder--when
  • the poor widowed girl pressed a child upon her breast--a child, with
  • the eyes of George who was gone--a little boy, as beautiful as a
  • cherub. What a miracle it was to hear its first cry! How she laughed
  • and wept over it--how love, and hope, and prayer woke again in her
  • bosom as the baby nestled there. She was safe. The doctors who
  • attended her, and had feared for her life or for her brain, had waited
  • anxiously for this crisis before they could pronounce that either was
  • secure. It was worth the long months of doubt and dread which the
  • persons who had constantly been with her had passed, to see her eyes
  • once more beaming tenderly upon them.
  • Our friend Dobbin was one of them. It was he who brought her back to
  • England and to her mother's house; when Mrs. O'Dowd, receiving a
  • peremptory summons from her Colonel, had been forced to quit her
  • patient. To see Dobbin holding the infant, and to hear Amelia's laugh
  • of triumph as she watched him, would have done any man good who had a
  • sense of humour. William was the godfather of the child, and exerted
  • his ingenuity in the purchase of cups, spoons, pap-boats, and corals
  • for this little Christian.
  • How his mother nursed him, and dressed him, and lived upon him; how she
  • drove away all nurses, and would scarce allow any hand but her own to
  • touch him; how she considered that the greatest favour she could confer
  • upon his godfather, Major Dobbin, was to allow the Major occasionally
  • to dandle him, need not be told here. This child was her being. Her
  • existence was a maternal caress. She enveloped the feeble and
  • unconscious creature with love and worship. It was her life which the
  • baby drank in from her bosom. Of nights, and when alone, she had
  • stealthy and intense raptures of motherly love, such as God's
  • marvellous care has awarded to the female instinct--joys how far
  • higher and lower than reason--blind beautiful devotions which only
  • women's hearts know. It was William Dobbin's task to muse upon these
  • movements of Amelia's, and to watch her heart; and if his love made him
  • divine almost all the feelings which agitated it, alas! he could see
  • with a fatal perspicuity that there was no place there for him. And
  • so, gently, he bore his fate, knowing it, and content to bear it.
  • I suppose Amelia's father and mother saw through the intentions of the
  • Major, and were not ill-disposed to encourage him; for Dobbin visited
  • their house daily, and stayed for hours with them, or with Amelia, or
  • with the honest landlord, Mr. Clapp, and his family. He brought, on
  • one pretext or another, presents to everybody, and almost every day;
  • and went, with the landlord's little girl, who was rather a favourite
  • with Amelia, by the name of Major Sugarplums. It was this little child
  • who commonly acted as mistress of the ceremonies to introduce him to
  • Mrs. Osborne. She laughed one day when Major Sugarplums' cab drove up
  • to Fulham, and he descended from it, bringing out a wooden horse, a
  • drum, a trumpet, and other warlike toys, for little Georgy, who was
  • scarcely six months old, and for whom the articles in question were
  • entirely premature.
  • The child was asleep. "Hush," said Amelia, annoyed, perhaps, at the
  • creaking of the Major's boots; and she held out her hand; smiling
  • because William could not take it until he had rid himself of his cargo
  • of toys. "Go downstairs, little Mary," said he presently to the child,
  • "I want to speak to Mrs. Osborne." She looked up rather astonished, and
  • laid down the infant on its bed.
  • "I am come to say good-bye, Amelia," said he, taking her slender little
  • white hand gently.
  • "Good-bye? and where are you going?" she said, with a smile.
  • "Send the letters to the agents," he said; "they will forward them; for
  • you will write to me, won't you? I shall be away a long time."
  • "I'll write to you about Georgy," she said. "Dear William, how good
  • you have been to him and to me. Look at him. Isn't he like an angel?"
  • The little pink hands of the child closed mechanically round the honest
  • soldier's finger, and Amelia looked up in his face with bright maternal
  • pleasure. The cruellest looks could not have wounded him more than
  • that glance of hopeless kindness. He bent over the child and mother.
  • He could not speak for a moment. And it was only with all his strength
  • that he could force himself to say a God bless you. "God bless you,"
  • said Amelia, and held up her face and kissed him.
  • "Hush! Don't wake Georgy!" she added, as William Dobbin went to the
  • door with heavy steps. She did not hear the noise of his cab-wheels as
  • he drove away: she was looking at the child, who was laughing in his
  • sleep.
  • CHAPTER XXXVI
  • How to Live Well on Nothing a Year
  • I suppose there is no man in this Vanity Fair of ours so little
  • observant as not to think sometimes about the worldly affairs of his
  • acquaintances, or so extremely charitable as not to wonder how his
  • neighbour Jones, or his neighbour Smith, can make both ends meet at the
  • end of the year. With the utmost regard for the family, for instance
  • (for I dine with them twice or thrice in the season), I cannot but own
  • that the appearance of the Jenkinses in the park, in the large barouche
  • with the grenadier-footmen, will surprise and mystify me to my dying
  • day: for though I know the equipage is only jobbed, and all the
  • Jenkins people are on board wages, yet those three men and the carriage
  • must represent an expense of six hundred a year at the very least--and
  • then there are the splendid dinners, the two boys at Eton, the prize
  • governess and masters for the girls, the trip abroad, or to Eastbourne
  • or Worthing, in the autumn, the annual ball with a supper from Gunter's
  • (who, by the way, supplies most of the first-rate dinners which J.
  • gives, as I know very well, having been invited to one of them to fill
  • a vacant place, when I saw at once that these repasts are very superior
  • to the common run of entertainments for which the humbler sort of J.'s
  • acquaintances get cards)--who, I say, with the most good-natured
  • feelings in the world, can help wondering how the Jenkinses make out
  • matters? What is Jenkins? We all know--Commissioner of the Tape and
  • Sealing Wax Office, with 1200 pounds a year for a salary. Had his wife
  • a private fortune? Pooh!--Miss Flint--one of eleven children of a small
  • squire in Buckinghamshire. All she ever gets from her family is a
  • turkey at Christmas, in exchange for which she has to board two or
  • three of her sisters in the off season, and lodge and feed her brothers
  • when they come to town. How does Jenkins balance his income? I say, as
  • every friend of his must say, How is it that he has not been outlawed
  • long since, and that he ever came back (as he did to the surprise of
  • everybody) last year from Boulogne?
  • "I" is here introduced to personify the world in general--the Mrs.
  • Grundy of each respected reader's private circle--every one of whom can
  • point to some families of his acquaintance who live nobody knows how.
  • Many a glass of wine have we all of us drunk, I have very little doubt,
  • hob-and-nobbing with the hospitable giver and wondering how the deuce
  • he paid for it.
  • Some three or four years after his stay in Paris, when Rawdon Crawley
  • and his wife were established in a very small comfortable house in
  • Curzon Street, May Fair, there was scarcely one of the numerous friends
  • whom they entertained at dinner that did not ask the above question
  • regarding them. The novelist, it has been said before, knows
  • everything, and as I am in a situation to be able to tell the public
  • how Crawley and his wife lived without any income, may I entreat the
  • public newspapers which are in the habit of extracting portions of the
  • various periodical works now published not to reprint the following
  • exact narrative and calculations--of which I ought, as the discoverer
  • (and at some expense, too), to have the benefit? My son, I would say,
  • were I blessed with a child--you may by deep inquiry and constant
  • intercourse with him learn how a man lives comfortably on nothing a
  • year. But it is best not to be intimate with gentlemen of this
  • profession and to take the calculations at second hand, as you do
  • logarithms, for to work them yourself, depend upon it, will cost you
  • something considerable.
  • On nothing per annum then, and during a course of some two or three
  • years, of which we can afford to give but a very brief history, Crawley
  • and his wife lived very happily and comfortably at Paris. It was in
  • this period that he quitted the Guards and sold out of the army. When
  • we find him again, his mustachios and the title of Colonel on his card
  • are the only relics of his military profession.
  • It has been mentioned that Rebecca, soon after her arrival in Paris,
  • took a very smart and leading position in the society of that capital,
  • and was welcomed at some of the most distinguished houses of the
  • restored French nobility. The English men of fashion in Paris courted
  • her, too, to the disgust of the ladies their wives, who could not bear
  • the parvenue. For some months the salons of the Faubourg St. Germain,
  • in which her place was secured, and the splendours of the new Court,
  • where she was received with much distinction, delighted and perhaps a
  • little intoxicated Mrs. Crawley, who may have been disposed during this
  • period of elation to slight the people--honest young military men
  • mostly--who formed her husband's chief society.
  • But the Colonel yawned sadly among the Duchesses and great ladies of
  • the Court. The old women who played ecarte made such a noise about a
  • five-franc piece that it was not worth Colonel Crawley's while to sit
  • down at a card-table. The wit of their conversation he could not
  • appreciate, being ignorant of their language. And what good could his
  • wife get, he urged, by making curtsies every night to a whole circle of
  • Princesses? He left Rebecca presently to frequent these parties alone,
  • resuming his own simple pursuits and amusements amongst the amiable
  • friends of his own choice.
  • The truth is, when we say of a gentleman that he lives elegantly on
  • nothing a year, we use the word "nothing" to signify something unknown;
  • meaning, simply, that we don't know how the gentleman in question
  • defrays the expenses of his establishment. Now, our friend the Colonel
  • had a great aptitude for all games of chance: and exercising himself,
  • as he continually did, with the cards, the dice-box, or the cue, it is
  • natural to suppose that he attained a much greater skill in the use of
  • these articles than men can possess who only occasionally handle them.
  • To use a cue at billiards well is like using a pencil, or a German
  • flute, or a small-sword--you cannot master any one of these implements
  • at first, and it is only by repeated study and perseverance, joined to
  • a natural taste, that a man can excel in the handling of either. Now
  • Crawley, from being only a brilliant amateur, had grown to be a
  • consummate master of billiards. Like a great General, his genius used
  • to rise with the danger, and when the luck had been unfavourable to him
  • for a whole game, and the bets were consequently against him, he would,
  • with consummate skill and boldness, make some prodigious hits which
  • would restore the battle, and come in a victor at the end, to the
  • astonishment of everybody--of everybody, that is, who was a stranger to
  • his play. Those who were accustomed to see it were cautious how they
  • staked their money against a man of such sudden resources and brilliant
  • and overpowering skill.
  • At games of cards he was equally skilful; for though he would
  • constantly lose money at the commencement of an evening, playing so
  • carelessly and making such blunders, that newcomers were often inclined
  • to think meanly of his talent; yet when roused to action and awakened
  • to caution by repeated small losses, it was remarked that Crawley's
  • play became quite different, and that he was pretty sure of beating his
  • enemy thoroughly before the night was over. Indeed, very few men could
  • say that they ever had the better of him. His successes were so
  • repeated that no wonder the envious and the vanquished spoke sometimes
  • with bitterness regarding them. And as the French say of the Duke of
  • Wellington, who never suffered a defeat, that only an astonishing
  • series of lucky accidents enabled him to be an invariable winner; yet
  • even they allow that he cheated at Waterloo, and was enabled to win the
  • last great trick: so it was hinted at headquarters in England that
  • some foul play must have taken place in order to account for the
  • continuous successes of Colonel Crawley.
  • Though Frascati's and the Salon were open at that time in Paris, the
  • mania for play was so widely spread that the public gambling-rooms did
  • not suffice for the general ardour, and gambling went on in private
  • houses as much as if there had been no public means for gratifying the
  • passion. At Crawley's charming little reunions of an evening this
  • fatal amusement commonly was practised--much to good-natured little
  • Mrs. Crawley's annoyance. She spoke about her husband's passion for
  • dice with the deepest grief; she bewailed it to everybody who came to
  • her house. She besought the young fellows never, never to touch a box;
  • and when young Green, of the Rifles, lost a very considerable sum of
  • money, Rebecca passed a whole night in tears, as the servant told the
  • unfortunate young gentleman, and actually went on her knees to her
  • husband to beseech him to remit the debt, and burn the acknowledgement.
  • How could he? He had lost just as much himself to Blackstone of the
  • Hussars, and Count Punter of the Hanoverian Cavalry. Green might have
  • any decent time; but pay?--of course he must pay; to talk of burning
  • IOU's was child's play.
  • Other officers, chiefly young--for the young fellows gathered round
  • Mrs. Crawley--came from her parties with long faces, having dropped
  • more or less money at her fatal card-tables. Her house began to have
  • an unfortunate reputation. The old hands warned the less experienced
  • of their danger. Colonel O'Dowd, of the --th regiment, one of those
  • occupying in Paris, warned Lieutenant Spooney of that corps. A loud
  • and violent fracas took place between the infantry Colonel and his
  • lady, who were dining at the Cafe de Paris, and Colonel and Mrs.
  • Crawley; who were also taking their meal there. The ladies engaged on
  • both sides. Mrs. O'Dowd snapped her fingers in Mrs. Crawley's face and
  • called her husband "no betther than a black-leg." Colonel Crawley
  • challenged Colonel O'Dowd, C.B. The Commander-in-Chief hearing of the
  • dispute sent for Colonel Crawley, who was getting ready the same
  • pistols "which he shot Captain Marker," and had such a conversation
  • with him that no duel took place. If Rebecca had not gone on her knees
  • to General Tufto, Crawley would have been sent back to England; and he
  • did not play, except with civilians, for some weeks after.
  • But, in spite of Rawdon's undoubted skill and constant successes, it
  • became evident to Rebecca, considering these things, that their
  • position was but a precarious one, and that, even although they paid
  • scarcely anybody, their little capital would end one day by dwindling
  • into zero. "Gambling," she would say, "dear, is good to help your
  • income, but not as an income itself. Some day people may be tired of
  • play, and then where are we?" Rawdon acquiesced in the justice of her
  • opinion; and in truth he had remarked that after a few nights of his
  • little suppers, &c., gentlemen were tired of play with him, and, in
  • spite of Rebecca's charms, did not present themselves very eagerly.
  • Easy and pleasant as their life at Paris was, it was after all only an
  • idle dalliance and amiable trifling; and Rebecca saw that she must push
  • Rawdon's fortune in their own country. She must get him a place or
  • appointment at home or in the colonies, and she determined to make a
  • move upon England as soon as the way could be cleared for her. As a
  • first step she had made Crawley sell out of the Guards and go on
  • half-pay. His function as aide-de-camp to General Tufto had ceased
  • previously. Rebecca laughed in all companies at that officer, at his
  • toupee (which he mounted on coming to Paris), at his waistband, at his
  • false teeth, at his pretensions to be a lady-killer above all, and his
  • absurd vanity in fancying every woman whom he came near was in love
  • with him. It was to Mrs. Brent, the beetle-browed wife of Mr.
  • Commissary Brent, to whom the general transferred his attentions
  • now--his bouquets, his dinners at the restaurateurs', his opera-boxes,
  • and his knick-knacks. Poor Mrs. Tufto was no more happy than before,
  • and had still to pass long evenings alone with her daughters, knowing
  • that her General was gone off scented and curled to stand behind Mrs.
  • Brent's chair at the play. Becky had a dozen admirers in his place, to
  • be sure, and could cut her rival to pieces with her wit. But, as we
  • have said, she was growing tired of this idle social life:
  • opera-boxes and restaurateur dinners palled upon her: nosegays could
  • not be laid by as a provision for future years: and she could not live
  • upon knick-knacks, laced handkerchiefs, and kid gloves. She felt the
  • frivolity of pleasure and longed for more substantial benefits.
  • At this juncture news arrived which was spread among the many creditors
  • of the Colonel at Paris, and which caused them great satisfaction.
  • Miss Crawley, the rich aunt from whom he expected his immense
  • inheritance, was dying; the Colonel must haste to her bedside. Mrs.
  • Crawley and her child would remain behind until he came to reclaim
  • them. He departed for Calais, and having reached that place in safety,
  • it might have been supposed that he went to Dover; but instead he took
  • the diligence to Dunkirk, and thence travelled to Brussels, for which
  • place he had a former predilection. The fact is, he owed more money at
  • London than at Paris; and he preferred the quiet little Belgian city to
  • either of the more noisy capitals.
  • Her aunt was dead. Mrs. Crawley ordered the most intense mourning for
  • herself and little Rawdon. The Colonel was busy arranging the affairs
  • of the inheritance. They could take the premier now, instead of the
  • little entresol of the hotel which they occupied. Mrs. Crawley and the
  • landlord had a consultation about the new hangings, an amicable wrangle
  • about the carpets, and a final adjustment of everything except the
  • bill. She went off in one of his carriages; her French bonne with her;
  • the child by her side; the admirable landlord and landlady smiling
  • farewell to her from the gate. General Tufto was furious when he heard
  • she was gone, and Mrs. Brent furious with him for being furious;
  • Lieutenant Spooney was cut to the heart; and the landlord got ready his
  • best apartments previous to the return of the fascinating little woman
  • and her husband. He _serred_ the trunks which she left in his charge
  • with the greatest care. They had been especially recommended to him by
  • Madame Crawley. They were not, however, found to be particularly
  • valuable when opened some time after.
  • But before she went to join her husband in the Belgic capital, Mrs.
  • Crawley made an expedition into England, leaving behind her her little
  • son upon the continent, under the care of her French maid.
  • The parting between Rebecca and the little Rawdon did not cause either
  • party much pain. She had not, to say truth, seen much of the young
  • gentleman since his birth. After the amiable fashion of French mothers,
  • she had placed him out at nurse in a village in the neighbourhood of
  • Paris, where little Rawdon passed the first months of his life, not
  • unhappily, with a numerous family of foster-brothers in wooden shoes.
  • His father would ride over many a time to see him here, and the elder
  • Rawdon's paternal heart glowed to see him rosy and dirty, shouting
  • lustily, and happy in the making of mud-pies under the superintendence
  • of the gardener's wife, his nurse.
  • Rebecca did not care much to go and see the son and heir. Once he
  • spoiled a new dove-coloured pelisse of hers. He preferred his nurse's
  • caresses to his mamma's, and when finally he quitted that jolly nurse
  • and almost parent, he cried loudly for hours. He was only consoled by
  • his mother's promise that he should return to his nurse the next day;
  • indeed the nurse herself, who probably would have been pained at the
  • parting too, was told that the child would immediately be restored to
  • her, and for some time awaited quite anxiously his return.
  • In fact, our friends may be said to have been among the first of that
  • brood of hardy English adventurers who have subsequently invaded the
  • Continent and swindled in all the capitals of Europe. The respect in
  • those happy days of 1817-18 was very great for the wealth and honour of
  • Britons. They had not then learned, as I am told, to haggle for
  • bargains with the pertinacity which now distinguishes them. The great
  • cities of Europe had not been as yet open to the enterprise of our
  • rascals. And whereas there is now hardly a town of France or Italy in
  • which you shall not see some noble countryman of our own, with that
  • happy swagger and insolence of demeanour which we carry everywhere,
  • swindling inn-landlords, passing fictitious cheques upon credulous
  • bankers, robbing coach-makers of their carriages, goldsmiths of their
  • trinkets, easy travellers of their money at cards, even public
  • libraries of their books--thirty years ago you needed but to be a Milor
  • Anglais, travelling in a private carriage, and credit was at your hand
  • wherever you chose to seek it, and gentlemen, instead of cheating, were
  • cheated. It was not for some weeks after the Crawleys' departure that
  • the landlord of the hotel which they occupied during their residence at
  • Paris found out the losses which he had sustained: not until Madame
  • Marabou, the milliner, made repeated visits with her little bill for
  • articles supplied to Madame Crawley; not until Monsieur Didelot from
  • Boule d'Or in the Palais Royal had asked half a dozen times whether
  • cette charmante Miladi who had bought watches and bracelets of him was
  • de retour. It is a fact that even the poor gardener's wife, who had
  • nursed madame's child, was never paid after the first six months for
  • that supply of the milk of human kindness with which she had furnished
  • the lusty and healthy little Rawdon. No, not even the nurse was
  • paid--the Crawleys were in too great a hurry to remember their trifling
  • debt to her. As for the landlord of the hotel, his curses against the
  • English nation were violent for the rest of his natural life. He asked
  • all travellers whether they knew a certain Colonel Lor Crawley--avec sa
  • femme une petite dame, tres spirituelle. "Ah, Monsieur!" he would
  • add--"ils m'ont affreusement vole." It was melancholy to hear his
  • accents as he spoke of that catastrophe.
  • Rebecca's object in her journey to London was to effect a kind of
  • compromise with her husband's numerous creditors, and by offering them
  • a dividend of ninepence or a shilling in the pound, to secure a return
  • for him into his own country. It does not become us to trace the steps
  • which she took in the conduct of this most difficult negotiation; but,
  • having shown them to their satisfaction that the sum which she was
  • empowered to offer was all her husband's available capital, and having
  • convinced them that Colonel Crawley would prefer a perpetual retirement
  • on the Continent to a residence in this country with his debts
  • unsettled; having proved to them that there was no possibility of money
  • accruing to him from other quarters, and no earthly chance of their
  • getting a larger dividend than that which she was empowered to offer,
  • she brought the Colonel's creditors unanimously to accept her
  • proposals, and purchased with fifteen hundred pounds of ready money
  • more than ten times that amount of debts.
  • Mrs. Crawley employed no lawyer in the transaction. The matter was so
  • simple, to have or to leave, as she justly observed, that she made the
  • lawyers of the creditors themselves do the business. And Mr. Lewis
  • representing Mr. Davids, of Red Lion Square, and Mr. Moss acting for
  • Mr. Manasseh of Cursitor Street (chief creditors of the Colonel's),
  • complimented his lady upon the brilliant way in which she did business,
  • and declared that there was no professional man who could beat her.
  • Rebecca received their congratulations with perfect modesty; ordered a
  • bottle of sherry and a bread cake to the little dingy lodgings where
  • she dwelt, while conducting the business, to treat the enemy's lawyers:
  • shook hands with them at parting, in excellent good humour, and
  • returned straightway to the Continent, to rejoin her husband and son
  • and acquaint the former with the glad news of his entire liberation.
  • As for the latter, he had been considerably neglected during his
  • mother's absence by Mademoiselle Genevieve, her French maid; for that
  • young woman, contracting an attachment for a soldier in the garrison of
  • Calais, forgot her charge in the society of this militaire, and little
  • Rawdon very narrowly escaped drowning on Calais sands at this period,
  • where the absent Genevieve had left and lost him.
  • And so, Colonel and Mrs. Crawley came to London: and it is at their
  • house in Curzon Street, May Fair, that they really showed the skill
  • which must be possessed by those who would live on the resources above
  • named.
  • CHAPTER XXXVII
  • The Subject Continued
  • In the first place, and as a matter of the greatest necessity, we are
  • bound to describe how a house may be got for nothing a year. These
  • mansions are to be had either unfurnished, where, if you have credit
  • with Messrs. Gillows or Bantings, you can get them splendidly montees
  • and decorated entirely according to your own fancy; or they are to be
  • let furnished, a less troublesome and complicated arrangement to most
  • parties. It was so that Crawley and his wife preferred to hire their
  • house.
  • Before Mr. Bowls came to preside over Miss Crawley's house and cellar
  • in Park Lane, that lady had had for a butler a Mr. Raggles, who was
  • born on the family estate of Queen's Crawley, and indeed was a younger
  • son of a gardener there. By good conduct, a handsome person and
  • calves, and a grave demeanour, Raggles rose from the knife-board to the
  • footboard of the carriage; from the footboard to the butler's pantry.
  • When he had been a certain number of years at the head of Miss
  • Crawley's establishment, where he had had good wages, fat perquisites,
  • and plenty of opportunities of saving, he announced that he was about
  • to contract a matrimonial alliance with a late cook of Miss Crawley's,
  • who had subsisted in an honourable manner by the exercise of a mangle,
  • and the keeping of a small greengrocer's shop in the neighbourhood.
  • The truth is, that the ceremony had been clandestinely performed some
  • years back; although the news of Mr. Raggles' marriage was first
  • brought to Miss Crawley by a little boy and girl of seven and eight
  • years of age, whose continual presence in the kitchen had attracted the
  • attention of Miss Briggs.
  • Mr. Raggles then retired and personally undertook the superintendence
  • of the small shop and the greens. He added milk and cream, eggs and
  • country-fed pork to his stores, contenting himself whilst other retired
  • butlers were vending spirits in public houses, by dealing in the
  • simplest country produce. And having a good connection amongst the
  • butlers in the neighbourhood, and a snug back parlour where he and Mrs.
  • Raggles received them, his milk, cream, and eggs got to be adopted by
  • many of the fraternity, and his profits increased every year. Year
  • after year he quietly and modestly amassed money, and when at length
  • that snug and complete bachelor's residence at No. 201, Curzon Street,
  • May Fair, lately the residence of the Honourable Frederick Deuceace,
  • gone abroad, with its rich and appropriate furniture by the first
  • makers, was brought to the hammer, who should go in and purchase the
  • lease and furniture of the house but Charles Raggles? A part of the
  • money he borrowed, it is true, and at rather a high interest, from a
  • brother butler, but the chief part he paid down, and it was with no
  • small pride that Mrs. Raggles found herself sleeping in a bed of carved
  • mahogany, with silk curtains, with a prodigious cheval glass opposite
  • to her, and a wardrobe which would contain her, and Raggles, and all
  • the family.
  • Of course, they did not intend to occupy permanently an apartment so
  • splendid. It was in order to let the house again that Raggles
  • purchased it. As soon as a tenant was found, he subsided into the
  • greengrocer's shop once more; but a happy thing it was for him to walk
  • out of that tenement and into Curzon Street, and there survey his
  • house--his own house--with geraniums in the window and a carved bronze
  • knocker. The footman occasionally lounging at the area railing,
  • treated him with respect; the cook took her green stuff at his house
  • and called him Mr. Landlord, and there was not one thing the tenants
  • did, or one dish which they had for dinner, that Raggles might not know
  • of, if he liked.
  • He was a good man; good and happy. The house brought him in so
  • handsome a yearly income that he was determined to send his children to
  • good schools, and accordingly, regardless of expense, Charles was sent
  • to boarding at Dr. Swishtail's, Sugar-cane Lodge, and little Matilda to
  • Miss Peckover's, Laurentinum House, Clapham.
  • Raggles loved and adored the Crawley family as the author of all his
  • prosperity in life. He had a silhouette of his mistress in his back
  • shop, and a drawing of the Porter's Lodge at Queen's Crawley, done by
  • that spinster herself in India ink--and the only addition he made to
  • the decorations of the Curzon Street House was a print of Queen's
  • Crawley in Hampshire, the seat of Sir Walpole Crawley, Baronet, who was
  • represented in a gilded car drawn by six white horses, and passing by a
  • lake covered with swans, and barges containing ladies in hoops, and
  • musicians with flags and periwigs. Indeed Raggles thought there was no
  • such palace in all the world, and no such august family.
  • As luck would have it, Raggles' house in Curzon Street was to let when
  • Rawdon and his wife returned to London. The Colonel knew it and its
  • owner quite well; the latter's connection with the Crawley family had
  • been kept up constantly, for Raggles helped Mr. Bowls whenever Miss
  • Crawley received friends. And the old man not only let his house to
  • the Colonel but officiated as his butler whenever he had company; Mrs.
  • Raggles operating in the kitchen below and sending up dinners of which
  • old Miss Crawley herself might have approved. This was the way, then,
  • Crawley got his house for nothing; for though Raggles had to pay taxes
  • and rates, and the interest of the mortgage to the brother butler; and
  • the insurance of his life; and the charges for his children at school;
  • and the value of the meat and drink which his own family--and for a
  • time that of Colonel Crawley too--consumed; and though the poor wretch
  • was utterly ruined by the transaction, his children being flung on the
  • streets, and himself driven into the Fleet Prison: yet somebody must
  • pay even for gentlemen who live for nothing a year--and so it was this
  • unlucky Raggles was made the representative of Colonel Crawley's
  • defective capital.
  • I wonder how many families are driven to roguery and to ruin by great
  • practitioners in Crawley's way?--how many great noblemen rob their petty
  • tradesmen, condescend to swindle their poor retainers out of wretched
  • little sums and cheat for a few shillings? When we read that a noble
  • nobleman has left for the Continent, or that another noble nobleman has
  • an execution in his house--and that one or other owes six or seven
  • millions, the defeat seems glorious even, and we respect the victim in
  • the vastness of his ruin. But who pities a poor barber who can't get
  • his money for powdering the footmen's heads; or a poor carpenter who
  • has ruined himself by fixing up ornaments and pavilions for my lady's
  • dejeuner; or the poor devil of a tailor whom the steward patronizes,
  • and who has pledged all he is worth, and more, to get the liveries
  • ready, which my lord has done him the honour to bespeak? When the great
  • house tumbles down, these miserable wretches fall under it unnoticed:
  • as they say in the old legends, before a man goes to the devil himself,
  • he sends plenty of other souls thither.
  • Rawdon and his wife generously gave their patronage to all such of Miss
  • Crawley's tradesmen and purveyors as chose to serve them. Some were
  • willing enough, especially the poor ones. It was wonderful to see the
  • pertinacity with which the washerwoman from Tooting brought the cart
  • every Saturday, and her bills week after week. Mr. Raggles himself had
  • to supply the greengroceries. The bill for servants' porter at the
  • Fortune of War public house is a curiosity in the chronicles of beer.
  • Every servant also was owed the greater part of his wages, and thus
  • kept up perforce an interest in the house. Nobody in fact was paid.
  • Not the blacksmith who opened the lock; nor the glazier who mended the
  • pane; nor the jobber who let the carriage; nor the groom who drove it;
  • nor the butcher who provided the leg of mutton; nor the coals which
  • roasted it; nor the cook who basted it; nor the servants who ate it:
  • and this I am given to understand is not unfrequently the way in which
  • people live elegantly on nothing a year.
  • In a little town such things cannot be done without remark. We know
  • there the quantity of milk our neighbour takes and espy the joint or
  • the fowls which are going in for his dinner. So, probably, 200 and 202
  • in Curzon Street might know what was going on in the house between
  • them, the servants communicating through the area-railings; but Crawley
  • and his wife and his friends did not know 200 and 202. When you came to
  • 201 there was a hearty welcome, a kind smile, a good dinner, and a
  • jolly shake of the hand from the host and hostess there, just for all
  • the world as if they had been undisputed masters of three or four
  • thousand a year--and so they were, not in money, but in produce and
  • labour--if they did not pay for the mutton, they had it: if they did
  • not give bullion in exchange for their wine, how should we know? Never
  • was better claret at any man's table than at honest Rawdon's; dinners
  • more gay and neatly served. His drawing-rooms were the prettiest,
  • little, modest salons conceivable: they were decorated with the
  • greatest taste, and a thousand knick-knacks from Paris, by Rebecca:
  • and when she sat at her piano trilling songs with a lightsome heart,
  • the stranger voted himself in a little paradise of domestic comfort and
  • agreed that, if the husband was rather stupid, the wife was charming,
  • and the dinners the pleasantest in the world.
  • Rebecca's wit, cleverness, and flippancy made her speedily the vogue in
  • London among a certain class. You saw demure chariots at her door, out
  • of which stepped very great people. You beheld her carriage in the
  • park, surrounded by dandies of note. The little box in the third tier
  • of the opera was crowded with heads constantly changing; but it must be
  • confessed that the ladies held aloof from her, and that their doors
  • were shut to our little adventurer.
  • With regard to the world of female fashion and its customs, the present
  • writer of course can only speak at second hand. A man can no more
  • penetrate or understand those mysteries than he can know what the
  • ladies talk about when they go upstairs after dinner. It is only by
  • inquiry and perseverance that one sometimes gets hints of those
  • secrets; and by a similar diligence every person who treads the Pall
  • Mall pavement and frequents the clubs of this metropolis knows, either
  • through his own experience or through some acquaintance with whom he
  • plays at billiards or shares the joint, something about the genteel
  • world of London, and how, as there are men (such as Rawdon Crawley,
  • whose position we mentioned before) who cut a good figure to the eyes
  • of the ignorant world and to the apprentices in the park, who behold
  • them consorting with the most notorious dandies there, so there are
  • ladies, who may be called men's women, being welcomed entirely by all
  • the gentlemen and cut or slighted by all their wives. Mrs. Firebrace
  • is of this sort; the lady with the beautiful fair ringlets whom you see
  • every day in Hyde Park, surrounded by the greatest and most famous
  • dandies of this empire. Mrs. Rockwood is another, whose parties are
  • announced laboriously in the fashionable newspapers and with whom you
  • see that all sorts of ambassadors and great noblemen dine; and many
  • more might be mentioned had they to do with the history at present in
  • hand. But while simple folks who are out of the world, or country
  • people with a taste for the genteel, behold these ladies in their
  • seeming glory in public places, or envy them from afar off, persons who
  • are better instructed could inform them that these envied ladies have
  • no more chance of establishing themselves in "society," than the
  • benighted squire's wife in Somersetshire who reads of their doings in
  • the Morning Post. Men living about London are aware of these awful
  • truths. You hear how pitilessly many ladies of seeming rank and wealth
  • are excluded from this "society." The frantic efforts which they make
  • to enter this circle, the meannesses to which they submit, the insults
  • which they undergo, are matters of wonder to those who take human or
  • womankind for a study; and the pursuit of fashion under difficulties
  • would be a fine theme for any very great person who had the wit, the
  • leisure, and the knowledge of the English language necessary for the
  • compiling of such a history.
  • Now the few female acquaintances whom Mrs. Crawley had known abroad not
  • only declined to visit her when she came to this side of the Channel,
  • but cut her severely when they met in public places. It was curious to
  • see how the great ladies forgot her, and no doubt not altogether a
  • pleasant study to Rebecca. When Lady Bareacres met her in the
  • waiting-room at the opera, she gathered her daughters about her as if
  • they would be contaminated by a touch of Becky, and retreating a step
  • or two, placed herself in front of them, and stared at her little
  • enemy. To stare Becky out of countenance required a severer glance than
  • even the frigid old Bareacres could shoot out of her dismal eyes. When
  • Lady de la Mole, who had ridden a score of times by Becky's side at
  • Brussels, met Mrs. Crawley's open carriage in Hyde Park, her Ladyship
  • was quite blind, and could not in the least recognize her former
  • friend. Even Mrs. Blenkinsop, the banker's wife, cut her at church.
  • Becky went regularly to church now; it was edifying to see her enter
  • there with Rawdon by her side, carrying a couple of large gilt
  • prayer-books, and afterwards going through the ceremony with the
  • gravest resignation.
  • Rawdon at first felt very acutely the slights which were passed upon
  • his wife, and was inclined to be gloomy and savage. He talked of
  • calling out the husbands or brothers of every one of the insolent women
  • who did not pay a proper respect to his wife; and it was only by the
  • strongest commands and entreaties on her part that he was brought into
  • keeping a decent behaviour. "You can't shoot me into society," she
  • said good-naturedly. "Remember, my dear, that I was but a governess,
  • and you, you poor silly old man, have the worst reputation for debt,
  • and dice, and all sorts of wickedness. We shall get quite as many
  • friends as we want by and by, and in the meanwhile you must be a good
  • boy and obey your schoolmistress in everything she tells you to do.
  • When we heard that your aunt had left almost everything to Pitt and his
  • wife, do you remember what a rage you were in? You would have told all
  • Paris, if I had not made you keep your temper, and where would you have
  • been now?--in prison at Ste. Pelagie for debt, and not established in
  • London in a handsome house, with every comfort about you--you were in
  • such a fury you were ready to murder your brother, you wicked Cain you,
  • and what good would have come of remaining angry? All the rage in the
  • world won't get us your aunt's money; and it is much better that we
  • should be friends with your brother's family than enemies, as those
  • foolish Butes are. When your father dies, Queen's Crawley will be a
  • pleasant house for you and me to pass the winter in. If we are ruined,
  • you can carve and take charge of the stable, and I can be a governess
  • to Lady Jane's children. Ruined! fiddlede-dee! I will get you a good
  • place before that; or Pitt and his little boy will die, and we will be
  • Sir Rawdon and my lady. While there is life, there is hope, my dear,
  • and I intend to make a man of you yet. Who sold your horses for you?
  • Who paid your debts for you?" Rawdon was obliged to confess that he
  • owed all these benefits to his wife, and to trust himself to her
  • guidance for the future.
  • Indeed, when Miss Crawley quitted the world, and that money for which
  • all her relatives had been fighting so eagerly was finally left to
  • Pitt, Bute Crawley, who found that only five thousand pounds had been
  • left to him instead of the twenty upon which he calculated, was in such
  • a fury at his disappointment that he vented it in savage abuse upon his
  • nephew; and the quarrel always rankling between them ended in an utter
  • breach of intercourse. Rawdon Crawley's conduct, on the other hand,
  • who got but a hundred pounds, was such as to astonish his brother and
  • delight his sister-in-law, who was disposed to look kindly upon all the
  • members of her husband's family. He wrote to his brother a very frank,
  • manly, good-humoured letter from Paris. He was aware, he said, that by
  • his own marriage he had forfeited his aunt's favour; and though he did
  • not disguise his disappointment that she should have been so entirely
  • relentless towards him, he was glad that the money was still kept in
  • their branch of the family, and heartily congratulated his brother on
  • his good fortune. He sent his affectionate remembrances to his sister,
  • and hoped to have her good-will for Mrs. Rawdon; and the letter
  • concluded with a postscript to Pitt in the latter lady's own
  • handwriting. She, too, begged to join in her husband's
  • congratulations. She should ever remember Mr. Crawley's kindness to
  • her in early days when she was a friendless orphan, the instructress of
  • his little sisters, in whose welfare she still took the tenderest
  • interest. She wished him every happiness in his married life, and,
  • asking his permission to offer her remembrances to Lady Jane (of whose
  • goodness all the world informed her), she hoped that one day she might
  • be allowed to present her little boy to his uncle and aunt, and begged
  • to bespeak for him their good-will and protection.
  • Pitt Crawley received this communication very graciously--more
  • graciously than Miss Crawley had received some of Rebecca's previous
  • compositions in Rawdon's handwriting; and as for Lady Jane, she was so
  • charmed with the letter that she expected her husband would instantly
  • divide his aunt's legacy into two equal portions and send off one-half
  • to his brother at Paris.
  • To her Ladyship's surprise, however, Pitt declined to accommodate his
  • brother with a cheque for thirty thousand pounds. But he made Rawdon a
  • handsome offer of his hand whenever the latter should come to England
  • and choose to take it; and, thanking Mrs. Crawley for her good opinion
  • of himself and Lady Jane, he graciously pronounced his willingness to
  • take any opportunity to serve her little boy.
  • Thus an almost reconciliation was brought about between the brothers.
  • When Rebecca came to town Pitt and his wife were not in London. Many a
  • time she drove by the old door in Park Lane to see whether they had
  • taken possession of Miss Crawley's house there. But the new family did
  • not make its appearance; it was only through Raggles that she heard of
  • their movements--how Miss Crawley's domestics had been dismissed with
  • decent gratuities, and how Mr. Pitt had only once made his appearance
  • in London, when he stopped for a few days at the house, did business
  • with his lawyers there, and sold off all Miss Crawley's French novels
  • to a bookseller out of Bond Street. Becky had reasons of her own which
  • caused her to long for the arrival of her new relation. "When Lady Jane
  • comes," thought she, "she shall be my sponsor in London society; and as
  • for the women! bah! the women will ask me when they find the men want
  • to see me."
  • An article as necessary to a lady in this position as her brougham or
  • her bouquet is her companion. I have always admired the way in which
  • the tender creatures, who cannot exist without sympathy, hire an
  • exceedingly plain friend of their own sex from whom they are almost
  • inseparable. The sight of that inevitable woman in her faded gown
  • seated behind her dear friend in the opera-box, or occupying the back
  • seat of the barouche, is always a wholesome and moral one to me, as
  • jolly a reminder as that of the Death's-head which figured in the
  • repasts of Egyptian bon-vivants, a strange sardonic memorial of Vanity
  • Fair. What? even battered, brazen, beautiful, conscienceless,
  • heartless, Mrs. Firebrace, whose father died of her shame: even
  • lovely, daring Mrs. Mantrap, who will ride at any fence which any man
  • in England will take, and who drives her greys in the park, while her
  • mother keeps a huckster's stall in Bath still--even those who are so
  • bold, one might fancy they could face anything, dare not face the world
  • without a female friend. They must have somebody to cling to, the
  • affectionate creatures! And you will hardly see them in any public
  • place without a shabby companion in a dyed silk, sitting somewhere in
  • the shade close behind them.
  • "Rawdon," said Becky, very late one night, as a party of gentlemen were
  • seated round her crackling drawing-room fire (for the men came to her
  • house to finish the night; and she had ice and coffee for them, the
  • best in London): "I must have a sheep-dog."
  • "A what?" said Rawdon, looking up from an ecarte table.
  • "A sheep-dog!" said young Lord Southdown. "My dear Mrs. Crawley, what
  • a fancy! Why not have a Danish dog? I know of one as big as a
  • camel-leopard, by Jove. It would almost pull your brougham. Or a
  • Persian greyhound, eh? (I propose, if you please); or a little pug that
  • would go into one of Lord Steyne's snuff-boxes? There's a man at
  • Bayswater got one with such a nose that you might--I mark the king and
  • play--that you might hang your hat on it."
  • "I mark the trick," Rawdon gravely said. He attended to his game
  • commonly and didn't much meddle with the conversation, except when it
  • was about horses and betting.
  • "What CAN you want with a shepherd's dog?" the lively little Southdown
  • continued.
  • "I mean a MORAL shepherd's dog," said Becky, laughing and looking up at
  • Lord Steyne.
  • "What the devil's that?" said his Lordship.
  • "A dog to keep the wolves off me," Rebecca continued. "A companion."
  • "Dear little innocent lamb, you want one," said the marquis; and his
  • jaw thrust out, and he began to grin hideously, his little eyes leering
  • towards Rebecca.
  • The great Lord of Steyne was standing by the fire sipping coffee. The
  • fire crackled and blazed pleasantly. There was a score of candles
  • sparkling round the mantel piece, in all sorts of quaint sconces, of
  • gilt and bronze and porcelain. They lighted up Rebecca's figure to
  • admiration, as she sat on a sofa covered with a pattern of gaudy
  • flowers. She was in a pink dress that looked as fresh as a rose; her
  • dazzling white arms and shoulders were half-covered with a thin hazy
  • scarf through which they sparkled; her hair hung in curls round her
  • neck; one of her little feet peeped out from the fresh crisp folds of
  • the silk: the prettiest little foot in the prettiest little sandal in
  • the finest silk stocking in the world.
  • The candles lighted up Lord Steyne's shining bald head, which was
  • fringed with red hair. He had thick bushy eyebrows, with little
  • twinkling bloodshot eyes, surrounded by a thousand wrinkles. His jaw
  • was underhung, and when he laughed, two white buck-teeth protruded
  • themselves and glistened savagely in the midst of the grin. He had been
  • dining with royal personages, and wore his garter and ribbon. A short
  • man was his Lordship, broad-chested and bow-legged, but proud of the
  • fineness of his foot and ankle, and always caressing his garter-knee.
  • "And so the shepherd is not enough," said he, "to defend his lambkin?"
  • "The shepherd is too fond of playing at cards and going to his clubs,"
  • answered Becky, laughing.
  • "'Gad, what a debauched Corydon!" said my lord--"what a mouth for a
  • pipe!"
  • "I take your three to two," here said Rawdon, at the card-table.
  • "Hark at Meliboeus," snarled the noble marquis; "he's pastorally
  • occupied too: he's shearing a Southdown. What an innocent mutton, hey?
  • Damme, what a snowy fleece!"
  • Rebecca's eyes shot out gleams of scornful humour. "My lord," she said,
  • "you are a knight of the Order." He had the collar round his neck,
  • indeed--a gift of the restored princes of Spain.
  • Lord Steyne in early life had been notorious for his daring and his
  • success at play. He had sat up two days and two nights with Mr. Fox at
  • hazard. He had won money of the most august personages of the realm:
  • he had won his marquisate, it was said, at the gaming-table; but he did
  • not like an allusion to those bygone fredaines. Rebecca saw the scowl
  • gathering over his heavy brow.
  • She rose up from her sofa and went and took his coffee cup out of his
  • hand with a little curtsey. "Yes," she said, "I must get a watchdog.
  • But he won't bark at YOU." And, going into the other drawing-room, she
  • sat down to the piano and began to sing little French songs in such a
  • charming, thrilling voice that the mollified nobleman speedily followed
  • her into that chamber, and might be seen nodding his head and bowing
  • time over her.
  • Rawdon and his friend meanwhile played ecarte until they had enough.
  • The Colonel won; but, say that he won ever so much and often, nights
  • like these, which occurred many times in the week--his wife having all
  • the talk and all the admiration, and he sitting silent without the
  • circle, not comprehending a word of the jokes, the allusions, the
  • mystical language within--must have been rather wearisome to the
  • ex-dragoon.
  • "How is Mrs. Crawley's husband?" Lord Steyne used to say to him by way
  • of a good day when they met; and indeed that was now his avocation in
  • life. He was Colonel Crawley no more. He was Mrs. Crawley's husband.
  • About the little Rawdon, if nothing has been said all this while, it is
  • because he is hidden upstairs in a garret somewhere, or has crawled
  • below into the kitchen for companionship. His mother scarcely ever
  • took notice of him. He passed the days with his French bonne as long
  • as that domestic remained in Mr. Crawley's family, and when the
  • Frenchwoman went away, the little fellow, howling in the loneliness of
  • the night, had compassion taken on him by a housemaid, who took him out
  • of his solitary nursery into her bed in the garret hard by and
  • comforted him.
  • Rebecca, my Lord Steyne, and one or two more were in the drawing-room
  • taking tea after the opera, when this shouting was heard overhead.
  • "It's my cherub crying for his nurse," she said. She did not offer to
  • move to go and see the child. "Don't agitate your feelings by going to
  • look for him," said Lord Steyne sardonically. "Bah!" replied the other,
  • with a sort of blush, "he'll cry himself to sleep"; and they fell to
  • talking about the opera.
  • Rawdon had stolen off though, to look after his son and heir; and came
  • back to the company when he found that honest Dolly was consoling the
  • child. The Colonel's dressing-room was in those upper regions. He
  • used to see the boy there in private. They had interviews together
  • every morning when he shaved; Rawdon minor sitting on a box by his
  • father's side and watching the operation with never-ceasing pleasure.
  • He and the sire were great friends. The father would bring him
  • sweetmeats from the dessert and hide them in a certain old epaulet box,
  • where the child went to seek them, and laughed with joy on discovering
  • the treasure; laughed, but not too loud: for mamma was below asleep
  • and must not be disturbed. She did not go to rest till very late and
  • seldom rose till after noon.
  • Rawdon bought the boy plenty of picture-books and crammed his nursery
  • with toys. Its walls were covered with pictures pasted up by the
  • father's own hand and purchased by him for ready money. When he was
  • off duty with Mrs. Rawdon in the park, he would sit up here, passing
  • hours with the boy; who rode on his chest, who pulled his great
  • mustachios as if they were driving-reins, and spent days with him in
  • indefatigable gambols. The room was a low room, and once, when the
  • child was not five years old, his father, who was tossing him wildly up
  • in his arms, hit the poor little chap's skull so violently against the
  • ceiling that he almost dropped the child, so terrified was he at the
  • disaster.
  • Rawdon minor had made up his face for a tremendous howl--the severity
  • of the blow indeed authorized that indulgence; but just as he was going
  • to begin, the father interposed.
  • "For God's sake, Rawdy, don't wake Mamma," he cried. And the child,
  • looking in a very hard and piteous way at his father, bit his lips,
  • clenched his hands, and didn't cry a bit. Rawdon told that story at
  • the clubs, at the mess, to everybody in town. "By Gad, sir," he
  • explained to the public in general, "what a good plucked one that boy
  • of mine is--what a trump he is! I half-sent his head through the
  • ceiling, by Gad, and he wouldn't cry for fear of disturbing his mother."
  • Sometimes--once or twice in a week--that lady visited the upper regions
  • in which the child lived. She came like a vivified figure out of the
  • Magasin des Modes--blandly smiling in the most beautiful new clothes
  • and little gloves and boots. Wonderful scarfs, laces, and jewels
  • glittered about her. She had always a new bonnet on, and flowers
  • bloomed perpetually in it, or else magnificent curling ostrich
  • feathers, soft and snowy as camellias. She nodded twice or thrice
  • patronizingly to the little boy, who looked up from his dinner or from
  • the pictures of soldiers he was painting. When she left the room, an
  • odour of rose, or some other magical fragrance, lingered about the
  • nursery. She was an unearthly being in his eyes, superior to his
  • father--to all the world: to be worshipped and admired at a distance.
  • To drive with that lady in the carriage was an awful rite: he sat up
  • in the back seat and did not dare to speak: he gazed with all his eyes
  • at the beautifully dressed Princess opposite to him. Gentlemen on
  • splendid prancing horses came up and smiled and talked with her. How
  • her eyes beamed upon all of them! Her hand used to quiver and wave
  • gracefully as they passed. When he went out with her he had his new
  • red dress on. His old brown holland was good enough when he stayed at
  • home. Sometimes, when she was away, and Dolly his maid was making his
  • bed, he came into his mother's room. It was as the abode of a fairy to
  • him--a mystic chamber of splendour and delights. There in the wardrobe
  • hung those wonderful robes--pink and blue and many-tinted. There was
  • the jewel-case, silver-clasped, and the wondrous bronze hand on the
  • dressing-table, glistening all over with a hundred rings. There was
  • the cheval-glass, that miracle of art, in which he could just see his
  • own wondering head and the reflection of Dolly (queerly distorted, and
  • as if up in the ceiling), plumping and patting the pillows of the bed.
  • Oh, thou poor lonely little benighted boy! Mother is the name for God
  • in the lips and hearts of little children; and here was one who was
  • worshipping a stone!
  • Now Rawdon Crawley, rascal as the Colonel was, had certain manly
  • tendencies of affection in his heart and could love a child and a woman
  • still. For Rawdon minor he had a great secret tenderness then, which
  • did not escape Rebecca, though she did not talk about it to her
  • husband. It did not annoy her: she was too good-natured. It only
  • increased her scorn for him. He felt somehow ashamed of this paternal
  • softness and hid it from his wife--only indulging in it when alone with
  • the boy.
  • He used to take him out of mornings when they would go to the stables
  • together and to the park. Little Lord Southdown, the best-natured of
  • men, who would make you a present of the hat from his head, and whose
  • main occupation in life was to buy knick-knacks that he might give them
  • away afterwards, bought the little chap a pony not much bigger than a
  • large rat, the donor said, and on this little black Shetland pygmy
  • young Rawdon's great father was pleased to mount the boy, and to walk
  • by his side in the park. It pleased him to see his old quarters, and
  • his old fellow-guardsmen at Knightsbridge: he had begun to think of his
  • bachelorhood with something like regret. The old troopers were glad to
  • recognize their ancient officer and dandle the little colonel. Colonel
  • Crawley found dining at mess and with his brother-officers very
  • pleasant. "Hang it, I ain't clever enough for her--I know it. She
  • won't miss me," he used to say: and he was right, his wife did not
  • miss him.
  • Rebecca was fond of her husband. She was always perfectly good-humoured
  • and kind to him. She did not even show her scorn much for
  • him; perhaps she liked him the better for being a fool. He was her
  • upper servant and maitre d'hotel. He went on her errands; obeyed her
  • orders without question; drove in the carriage in the ring with her
  • without repining; took her to the opera-box, solaced himself at his
  • club during the performance, and came punctually back to fetch her when
  • due. He would have liked her to be a little fonder of the boy, but
  • even to that he reconciled himself. "Hang it, you know she's so
  • clever," he said, "and I'm not literary and that, you know." For, as we
  • have said before, it requires no great wisdom to be able to win at
  • cards and billiards, and Rawdon made no pretensions to any other sort
  • of skill.
  • When the companion came, his domestic duties became very light. His
  • wife encouraged him to dine abroad: she would let him off duty at the
  • opera. "Don't stay and stupefy yourself at home to-night, my dear,"
  • she would say. "Some men are coming who will only bore you. I would
  • not ask them, but you know it's for your good, and now I have a
  • sheep-dog, I need not be afraid to be alone."
  • "A sheep-dog--a companion! Becky Sharp with a companion! Isn't it
  • good fun?" thought Mrs. Crawley to herself. The notion tickled hugely
  • her sense of humour.
  • One Sunday morning, as Rawdon Crawley, his little son, and the pony
  • were taking their accustomed walk in the park, they passed by an old
  • acquaintance of the Colonel's, Corporal Clink, of the regiment, who was
  • in conversation with a friend, an old gentleman, who held a boy in his
  • arms about the age of little Rawdon. This other youngster had seized
  • hold of the Waterloo medal which the Corporal wore, and was examining
  • it with delight.
  • "Good morning, your Honour," said Clink, in reply to the "How do,
  • Clink?" of the Colonel. "This ere young gentleman is about the little
  • Colonel's age, sir," continued the corporal.
  • "His father was a Waterloo man, too," said the old gentleman, who
  • carried the boy. "Wasn't he, Georgy?"
  • "Yes," said Georgy. He and the little chap on the pony were looking at
  • each other with all their might--solemnly scanning each other as
  • children do.
  • "In a line regiment," Clink said with a patronizing air.
  • "He was a Captain in the --th regiment," said the old gentleman rather
  • pompously. "Captain George Osborne, sir--perhaps you knew him. He
  • died the death of a hero, sir, fighting against the Corsican tyrant."
  • Colonel Crawley blushed quite red. "I knew him very well, sir," he
  • said, "and his wife, his dear little wife, sir--how is she?"
  • "She is my daughter, sir," said the old gentleman, putting down the boy
  • and taking out a card with great solemnity, which he handed to the
  • Colonel. On it written--
  • "Mr. Sedley, Sole Agent for the Black Diamond and Anti-Cinder Coal
  • Association, Bunker's Wharf, Thames Street, and Anna-Maria Cottages,
  • Fulham Road West."
  • Little Georgy went up and looked at the Shetland pony.
  • "Should you like to have a ride?" said Rawdon minor from the saddle.
  • "Yes," said Georgy. The Colonel, who had been looking at him with some
  • interest, took up the child and put him on the pony behind Rawdon minor.
  • "Take hold of him, Georgy," he said--"take my little boy round the
  • waist--his name is Rawdon." And both the children began to laugh.
  • "You won't see a prettier pair I think, THIS summer's day, sir," said
  • the good-natured Corporal; and the Colonel, the Corporal, and old Mr.
  • Sedley with his umbrella, walked by the side of the children.
  • CHAPTER XXXVIII
  • A Family in a Very Small Way
  • We must suppose little George Osborne has ridden from Knightsbridge
  • towards Fulham, and will stop and make inquiries at that village
  • regarding some friends whom we have left there. How is Mrs. Amelia
  • after the storm of Waterloo? Is she living and thriving? What has come
  • of Major Dobbin, whose cab was always hankering about her premises? And
  • is there any news of the Collector of Boggley Wollah? The facts
  • concerning the latter are briefly these:
  • Our worthy fat friend Joseph Sedley returned to India not long after
  • his escape from Brussels. Either his furlough was up, or he dreaded to
  • meet any witnesses of his Waterloo flight. However it might be, he
  • went back to his duties in Bengal very soon after Napoleon had taken up
  • his residence at St. Helena, where Jos saw the ex-Emperor. To hear Mr.
  • Sedley talk on board ship you would have supposed that it was not the
  • first time he and the Corsican had met, and that the civilian had
  • bearded the French General at Mount St. John. He had a thousand
  • anecdotes about the famous battles; he knew the position of every
  • regiment and the loss which each had incurred. He did not deny that he
  • had been concerned in those victories--that he had been with the army
  • and carried despatches for the Duke of Wellington. And he described
  • what the Duke did and said on every conceivable moment of the day of
  • Waterloo, with such an accurate knowledge of his Grace's sentiments and
  • proceedings that it was clear he must have been by the conqueror's side
  • throughout the day; though, as a non-combatant, his name was not
  • mentioned in the public documents relative to the battle. Perhaps he
  • actually worked himself up to believe that he had been engaged with the
  • army; certain it is that he made a prodigious sensation for some time
  • at Calcutta, and was called Waterloo Sedley during the whole of his
  • subsequent stay in Bengal.
  • The bills which Jos had given for the purchase of those unlucky horses
  • were paid without question by him and his agents. He never was heard
  • to allude to the bargain, and nobody knows for a certainty what became
  • of the horses, or how he got rid of them, or of Isidor, his Belgian
  • servant, who sold a grey horse, very like the one which Jos rode, at
  • Valenciennes sometime during the autumn of 1815.
  • Jos's London agents had orders to pay one hundred and twenty pounds
  • yearly to his parents at Fulham. It was the chief support of the old
  • couple; for Mr. Sedley's speculations in life subsequent to his
  • bankruptcy did not by any means retrieve the broken old gentleman's
  • fortune. He tried to be a wine-merchant, a coal-merchant, a commission
  • lottery agent, &c., &c. He sent round prospectuses to his friends
  • whenever he took a new trade, and ordered a new brass plate for the
  • door, and talked pompously about making his fortune still. But Fortune
  • never came back to the feeble and stricken old man. One by one his
  • friends dropped off, and were weary of buying dear coals and bad wine
  • from him; and there was only his wife in all the world who fancied,
  • when he tottered off to the City of a morning, that he was still doing
  • any business there. At evening he crawled slowly back; and he used to
  • go of nights to a little club at a tavern, where he disposed of the
  • finances of the nation. It was wonderful to hear him talk about
  • millions, and agios, and discounts, and what Rothschild was doing, and
  • Baring Brothers. He talked of such vast sums that the gentlemen of the
  • club (the apothecary, the undertaker, the great carpenter and builder,
  • the parish clerk, who was allowed to come stealthily, and Mr. Clapp,
  • our old acquaintance,) respected the old gentleman. "I was better off
  • once, sir," he did not fail to tell everybody who "used the room." "My
  • son, sir, is at this minute chief magistrate of Ramgunge in the
  • Presidency of Bengal, and touching his four thousand rupees per mensem.
  • My daughter might be a Colonel's lady if she liked. I might draw upon
  • my son, the first magistrate, sir, for two thousand pounds to-morrow,
  • and Alexander would cash my bill, down sir, down on the counter, sir.
  • But the Sedleys were always a proud family." You and I, my dear reader,
  • may drop into this condition one day: for have not many of our friends
  • attained it? Our luck may fail: our powers forsake us: our place on
  • the boards be taken by better and younger mimes--the chance of life
  • roll away and leave us shattered and stranded. Then men will walk
  • across the road when they meet you--or, worse still, hold you out a
  • couple of fingers and patronize you in a pitying way--then you will
  • know, as soon as your back is turned, that your friend begins with a
  • "Poor devil, what imprudences he has committed, what chances that chap
  • has thrown away!" Well, well--a carriage and three thousand a year is
  • not the summit of the reward nor the end of God's judgment of men. If
  • quacks prosper as often as they go to the wall--if zanies succeed and
  • knaves arrive at fortune, and, vice versa, sharing ill luck and
  • prosperity for all the world like the ablest and most honest amongst
  • us--I say, brother, the gifts and pleasures of Vanity Fair cannot be
  • held of any great account, and that it is probable . . . but we are
  • wandering out of the domain of the story.
  • Had Mrs. Sedley been a woman of energy, she would have exerted it after
  • her husband's ruin and, occupying a large house, would have taken in
  • boarders. The broken Sedley would have acted well as the
  • boarding-house landlady's husband; the Munoz of private life; the
  • titular lord and master: the carver, house-steward, and humble husband
  • of the occupier of the dingy throne. I have seen men of good brains
  • and breeding, and of good hopes and vigour once, who feasted squires
  • and kept hunters in their youth, meekly cutting up legs of mutton for
  • rancorous old harridans and pretending to preside over their dreary
  • tables--but Mrs. Sedley, we say, had not spirit enough to bustle about
  • for "a few select inmates to join a cheerful musical family," such as
  • one reads of in the Times. She was content to lie on the shore where
  • fortune had stranded her--and you could see that the career of this old
  • couple was over.
  • I don't think they were unhappy. Perhaps they were a little prouder in
  • their downfall than in their prosperity. Mrs. Sedley was always a great
  • person for her landlady, Mrs. Clapp, when she descended and passed many
  • hours with her in the basement or ornamented kitchen. The Irish maid
  • Betty Flanagan's bonnets and ribbons, her sauciness, her idleness, her
  • reckless prodigality of kitchen candles, her consumption of tea and
  • sugar, and so forth occupied and amused the old lady almost as much as
  • the doings of her former household, when she had Sambo and the
  • coachman, and a groom, and a footboy, and a housekeeper with a regiment
  • of female domestics--her former household, about which the good lady
  • talked a hundred times a day. And besides Betty Flanagan, Mrs. Sedley
  • had all the maids-of-all-work in the street to superintend. She knew
  • how each tenant of the cottages paid or owed his little rent. She
  • stepped aside when Mrs. Rougemont the actress passed with her dubious
  • family. She flung up her head when Mrs. Pestler, the apothecary's
  • lady, drove by in her husband's professional one-horse chaise. She had
  • colloquies with the greengrocer about the pennorth of turnips which Mr.
  • Sedley loved; she kept an eye upon the milkman and the baker's boy; and
  • made visitations to the butcher, who sold hundreds of oxen very likely
  • with less ado than was made about Mrs. Sedley's loin of mutton: and
  • she counted the potatoes under the joint on Sundays, on which days,
  • dressed in her best, she went to church twice and read Blair's Sermons
  • in the evening.
  • On that day, for "business" prevented him on weekdays from taking such
  • a pleasure, it was old Sedley's delight to take out his little grandson
  • Georgy to the neighbouring parks or Kensington Gardens, to see the
  • soldiers or to feed the ducks. Georgy loved the redcoats, and his
  • grandpapa told him how his father had been a famous soldier, and
  • introduced him to many sergeants and others with Waterloo medals on
  • their breasts, to whom the old grandfather pompously presented the
  • child as the son of Captain Osborne of the --th, who died gloriously on
  • the glorious eighteenth. He has been known to treat some of these
  • non-commissioned gentlemen to a glass of porter, and, indeed, in their
  • first Sunday walks was disposed to spoil little Georgy, sadly gorging
  • the boy with apples and parliament, to the detriment of his
  • health--until Amelia declared that George should never go out with his
  • grandpapa unless the latter promised solemnly, and on his honour, not
  • to give the child any cakes, lollipops, or stall produce whatever.
  • Between Mrs. Sedley and her daughter there was a sort of coolness about
  • this boy, and a secret jealousy--for one evening in George's very early
  • days, Amelia, who had been seated at work in their little parlour
  • scarcely remarking that the old lady had quitted the room, ran upstairs
  • instinctively to the nursery at the cries of the child, who had been
  • asleep until that moment--and there found Mrs. Sedley in the act of
  • surreptitiously administering Daffy's Elixir to the infant. Amelia,
  • the gentlest and sweetest of everyday mortals, when she found this
  • meddling with her maternal authority, thrilled and trembled all over
  • with anger. Her cheeks, ordinarily pale, now flushed up, until they
  • were as red as they used to be when she was a child of twelve years
  • old. She seized the baby out of her mother's arms and then grasped at
  • the bottle, leaving the old lady gaping at her, furious, and holding
  • the guilty tea-spoon.
  • Amelia flung the bottle crashing into the fire-place. "I will NOT have
  • baby poisoned, Mamma," cried Emmy, rocking the infant about violently
  • with both her arms round him and turning with flashing eyes at her
  • mother.
  • "Poisoned, Amelia!" said the old lady; "this language to me?"
  • "He shall not have any medicine but that which Mr. Pestler sends for
  • him. He told me that Daffy's Elixir was poison."
  • "Very good: you think I'm a murderess then," replied Mrs. Sedley.
  • "This is the language you use to your mother. I have met with
  • misfortunes: I have sunk low in life: I have kept my carriage, and
  • now walk on foot: but I did not know I was a murderess before, and
  • thank you for the NEWS."
  • "Mamma," said the poor girl, who was always ready for tears--"you
  • shouldn't be hard upon me. I--I didn't mean--I mean, I did not wish to
  • say you would do any wrong to this dear child, only--"
  • "Oh, no, my love,--only that I was a murderess; in which case I had
  • better go to the Old Bailey. Though I didn't poison YOU, when you were
  • a child, but gave you the best of education and the most expensive
  • masters money could procure. Yes; I've nursed five children and buried
  • three; and the one I loved the best of all, and tended through croup,
  • and teething, and measles, and hooping-cough, and brought up with
  • foreign masters, regardless of expense, and with accomplishments at
  • Minerva House--which I never had when I was a girl--when I was too glad
  • to honour my father and mother, that I might live long in the land, and
  • to be useful, and not to mope all day in my room and act the fine
  • lady--says I'm a murderess. Ah, Mrs. Osborne! may YOU never nourish a
  • viper in your bosom, that's MY prayer."
  • "Mamma, Mamma!" cried the bewildered girl; and the child in her arms
  • set up a frantic chorus of shouts. "A murderess, indeed! Go down on
  • your knees and pray to God to cleanse your wicked ungrateful heart,
  • Amelia, and may He forgive you as I do." And Mrs. Sedley tossed out of
  • the room, hissing out the word poison once more, and so ending her
  • charitable benediction.
  • Till the termination of her natural life, this breach between Mrs.
  • Sedley and her daughter was never thoroughly mended. The quarrel gave
  • the elder lady numberless advantages which she did not fail to turn to
  • account with female ingenuity and perseverance. For instance, she
  • scarcely spoke to Amelia for many weeks afterwards. She warned the
  • domestics not to touch the child, as Mrs. Osborne might be offended.
  • She asked her daughter to see and satisfy herself that there was no
  • poison prepared in the little daily messes that were concocted for
  • Georgy. When neighbours asked after the boy's health, she referred them
  • pointedly to Mrs. Osborne. SHE never ventured to ask whether the baby
  • was well or not. SHE would not touch the child although he was her
  • grandson, and own precious darling, for she was not USED to children,
  • and might kill it. And whenever Mr. Pestler came upon his healing
  • inquisition, she received the doctor with such a sarcastic and scornful
  • demeanour, as made the surgeon declare that not Lady Thistlewood
  • herself, whom he had the honour of attending professionally, could give
  • herself greater airs than old Mrs. Sedley, from whom he never took a
  • fee. And very likely Emmy was jealous too, upon her own part, as what
  • mother is not, of those who would manage her children for her, or
  • become candidates for the first place in their affections. It is
  • certain that when anybody nursed the child, she was uneasy, and that
  • she would no more allow Mrs. Clapp or the domestic to dress or tend him
  • than she would have let them wash her husband's miniature which hung up
  • over her little bed--the same little bed from which the poor girl had
  • gone to his; and to which she retired now for many long, silent,
  • tearful, but happy years.
  • In this room was all Amelia's heart and treasure. Here it was that she
  • tended her boy and watched him through the many ills of childhood, with
  • a constant passion of love. The elder George returned in him somehow,
  • only improved, and as if come back from heaven. In a hundred little
  • tones, looks, and movements, the child was so like his father that the
  • widow's heart thrilled as she held him to it; and he would often ask
  • the cause of her tears. It was because of his likeness to his father,
  • she did not scruple to tell him. She talked constantly to him about
  • this dead father, and spoke of her love for George to the innocent and
  • wondering child; much more than she ever had done to George himself, or
  • to any confidante of her youth. To her parents she never talked about
  • this matter, shrinking from baring her heart to them. Little George
  • very likely could understand no better than they, but into his ears she
  • poured her sentimental secrets unreservedly, and into his only. The
  • very joy of this woman was a sort of grief, or so tender, at least,
  • that its expression was tears. Her sensibilities were so weak and
  • tremulous that perhaps they ought not to be talked about in a book. I
  • was told by Dr. Pestler (now a most flourishing lady's physician, with
  • a sumptuous dark green carriage, a prospect of speedy knighthood, and a
  • house in Manchester Square) that her grief at weaning the child was a
  • sight that would have unmanned a Herod. He was very soft-hearted many
  • years ago, and his wife was mortally jealous of Mrs. Amelia, then and
  • long afterwards.
  • Perhaps the doctor's lady had good reason for her jealousy: most women
  • shared it, of those who formed the small circle of Amelia's
  • acquaintance, and were quite angry at the enthusiasm with which the
  • other sex regarded her. For almost all men who came near her loved
  • her; though no doubt they would be at a loss to tell you why. She was
  • not brilliant, nor witty, nor wise over much, nor extraordinarily
  • handsome. But wherever she went she touched and charmed every one of
  • the male sex, as invariably as she awakened the scorn and incredulity
  • of her own sisterhood. I think it was her weakness which was her
  • principal charm--a kind of sweet submission and softness, which seemed
  • to appeal to each man she met for his sympathy and protection. We have
  • seen how in the regiment, though she spoke but to few of George's
  • comrades there, all the swords of the young fellows at the mess-table
  • would have leapt from their scabbards to fight round her; and so it was
  • in the little narrow lodging-house and circle at Fulham, she interested
  • and pleased everybody. If she had been Mrs. Mango herself, of the
  • great house of Mango, Plantain, and Co., Crutched Friars, and the
  • magnificent proprietress of the Pineries, Fulham, who gave summer
  • dejeuners frequented by Dukes and Earls, and drove about the parish
  • with magnificent yellow liveries and bay horses, such as the royal
  • stables at Kensington themselves could not turn out--I say had she been
  • Mrs. Mango herself, or her son's wife, Lady Mary Mango (daughter of the
  • Earl of Castlemouldy, who condescended to marry the head of the firm),
  • the tradesmen of the neighbourhood could not pay her more honour than
  • they invariably showed to the gentle young widow, when she passed by
  • their doors, or made her humble purchases at their shops.
  • Thus it was not only Mr. Pestler, the medical man, but Mr. Linton the
  • young assistant, who doctored the servant maids and small tradesmen,
  • and might be seen any day reading the Times in the surgery, who openly
  • declared himself the slave of Mrs. Osborne. He was a personable young
  • gentleman, more welcome at Mrs. Sedley's lodgings than his principal;
  • and if anything went wrong with Georgy, he would drop in twice or
  • thrice in the day to see the little chap, and without so much as the
  • thought of a fee. He would abstract lozenges, tamarinds, and other
  • produce from the surgery-drawers for little Georgy's benefit, and
  • compounded draughts and mixtures for him of miraculous sweetness, so
  • that it was quite a pleasure to the child to be ailing. He and
  • Pestler, his chief, sat up two whole nights by the boy in that
  • momentous and awful week when Georgy had the measles; and when you
  • would have thought, from the mother's terror, that there had never been
  • measles in the world before. Would they have done as much for other
  • people? Did they sit up for the folks at the Pineries, when Ralph
  • Plantagenet, and Gwendoline, and Guinever Mango had the same juvenile
  • complaint? Did they sit up for little Mary Clapp, the landlord's
  • daughter, who actually caught the disease of little Georgy? Truth
  • compels one to say, no. They slept quite undisturbed, at least as far
  • as she was concerned--pronounced hers to be a slight case, which would
  • almost cure itself, sent her in a draught or two, and threw in bark
  • when the child rallied, with perfect indifference, and just for form's
  • sake.
  • Again, there was the little French chevalier opposite, who gave lessons
  • in his native tongue at various schools in the neighbourhood, and who
  • might be heard in his apartment of nights playing tremulous old
  • gavottes and minuets on a wheezy old fiddle. Whenever this powdered and
  • courteous old man, who never missed a Sunday at the convent chapel at
  • Hammersmith, and who was in all respects, thoughts, conduct, and
  • bearing utterly unlike the bearded savages of his nation, who curse
  • perfidious Albion, and scowl at you from over their cigars, in the
  • Quadrant arcades at the present day--whenever the old Chevalier de
  • Talonrouge spoke of Mistress Osborne, he would first finish his pinch
  • of snuff, flick away the remaining particles of dust with a graceful
  • wave of his hand, gather up his fingers again into a bunch, and,
  • bringing them up to his mouth, blow them open with a kiss, exclaiming,
  • Ah! la divine creature! He vowed and protested that when Amelia walked
  • in the Brompton Lanes flowers grew in profusion under her feet. He
  • called little Georgy Cupid, and asked him news of Venus, his mamma; and
  • told the astonished Betty Flanagan that she was one of the Graces, and
  • the favourite attendant of the Reine des Amours.
  • Instances might be multiplied of this easily gained and unconscious
  • popularity. Did not Mr. Binny, the mild and genteel curate of the
  • district chapel, which the family attended, call assiduously upon the
  • widow, dandle the little boy on his knee, and offer to teach him Latin,
  • to the anger of the elderly virgin, his sister, who kept house for him?
  • "There is nothing in her, Beilby," the latter lady would say. "When
  • she comes to tea here she does not speak a word during the whole
  • evening. She is but a poor lackadaisical creature, and it is my belief
  • has no heart at all. It is only her pretty face which all you
  • gentlemen admire so. Miss Grits, who has five thousand pounds, and
  • expectations besides, has twice as much character, and is a thousand
  • times more agreeable to my taste; and if she were good-looking I know
  • that you would think her perfection."
  • Very likely Miss Binny was right to a great extent. It IS the pretty
  • face which creates sympathy in the hearts of men, those wicked rogues.
  • A woman may possess the wisdom and chastity of Minerva, and we give no
  • heed to her, if she has a plain face. What folly will not a pair of
  • bright eyes make pardonable? What dulness may not red lips and sweet
  • accents render pleasant? And so, with their usual sense of justice,
  • ladies argue that because a woman is handsome, therefore she is a fool.
  • O ladies, ladies! there are some of you who are neither handsome nor
  • wise.
  • These are but trivial incidents to recount in the life of our heroine.
  • Her tale does not deal in wonders, as the gentle reader has already no
  • doubt perceived; and if a journal had been kept of her proceedings
  • during the seven years after the birth of her son, there would be found
  • few incidents more remarkable in it than that of the measles, recorded
  • in the foregoing page. Yes, one day, and greatly to her wonder, the
  • Reverend Mr. Binny, just mentioned, asked her to change her name of
  • Osborne for his own; when, with deep blushes and tears in her eyes and
  • voice, she thanked him for his regard for her, expressed gratitude for
  • his attentions to her and to her poor little boy, but said that she
  • never, never could think of any but--but the husband whom she had lost.
  • On the twenty-fifth of April, and the eighteenth of June, the days of
  • marriage and widowhood, she kept her room entirely, consecrating them
  • (and we do not know how many hours of solitary night-thought, her
  • little boy sleeping in his crib by her bedside) to the memory of that
  • departed friend. During the day she was more active. She had to teach
  • George to read and to write and a little to draw. She read books, in
  • order that she might tell him stories from them. As his eyes opened
  • and his mind expanded under the influence of the outward nature round
  • about him, she taught the child, to the best of her humble power, to
  • acknowledge the Maker of all, and every night and every morning he and
  • she--(in that awful and touching communion which I think must bring a
  • thrill to the heart of every man who witnesses or who remembers
  • it)--the mother and the little boy--prayed to Our Father together, the
  • mother pleading with all her gentle heart, the child lisping after her
  • as she spoke. And each time they prayed to God to bless dear Papa, as
  • if he were alive and in the room with them. To wash and dress this
  • young gentleman--to take him for a run of the mornings, before
  • breakfast, and the retreat of grandpapa for "business"--to make for him
  • the most wonderful and ingenious dresses, for which end the thrifty
  • widow cut up and altered every available little bit of finery which she
  • possessed out of her wardrobe during her marriage--for Mrs. Osborne
  • herself (greatly to her mother's vexation, who preferred fine clothes,
  • especially since her misfortunes) always wore a black gown and a straw
  • bonnet with a black ribbon--occupied her many hours of the day. Others
  • she had to spare, at the service of her mother and her old father. She
  • had taken the pains to learn, and used to play cribbage with this
  • gentleman on the nights when he did not go to his club. She sang for
  • him when he was so minded, and it was a good sign, for he invariably
  • fell into a comfortable sleep during the music. She wrote out his
  • numerous memorials, letters, prospectuses, and projects. It was in her
  • handwriting that most of the old gentleman's former acquaintances were
  • informed that he had become an agent for the Black Diamond and
  • Anti-Cinder Coal Company and could supply his friends and the public
  • with the best coals at --s. per chaldron. All he did was to sign the
  • circulars with his flourish and signature, and direct them in a shaky,
  • clerklike hand. One of these papers was sent to Major Dobbin,--Regt.,
  • care of Messrs. Cox and Greenwood; but the Major being in Madras at
  • the time, had no particular call for coals. He knew, though, the hand
  • which had written the prospectus. Good God! what would he not have
  • given to hold it in his own! A second prospectus came out, informing
  • the Major that J. Sedley and Company, having established agencies at
  • Oporto, Bordeaux, and St. Mary's, were enabled to offer to their
  • friends and the public generally the finest and most celebrated growths
  • of ports, sherries, and claret wines at reasonable prices and under
  • extraordinary advantages. Acting upon this hint, Dobbin furiously
  • canvassed the governor, the commander-in-chief, the judges, the
  • regiments, and everybody whom he knew in the Presidency, and sent home
  • to Sedley and Co. orders for wine which perfectly astonished Mr.
  • Sedley and Mr. Clapp, who was the Co. in the business. But no more
  • orders came after that first burst of good fortune, on which poor old
  • Sedley was about to build a house in the City, a regiment of clerks, a
  • dock to himself, and correspondents all over the world. The old
  • gentleman's former taste in wine had gone: the curses of the mess-room
  • assailed Major Dobbin for the vile drinks he had been the means of
  • introducing there; and he bought back a great quantity of the wine and
  • sold it at public outcry, at an enormous loss to himself. As for Jos,
  • who was by this time promoted to a seat at the Revenue Board at
  • Calcutta, he was wild with rage when the post brought him out a bundle
  • of these Bacchanalian prospectuses, with a private note from his
  • father, telling Jos that his senior counted upon him in this
  • enterprise, and had consigned a quantity of select wines to him, as per
  • invoice, drawing bills upon him for the amount of the same. Jos, who
  • would no more have it supposed that his father, Jos Sedley's father, of
  • the Board of Revenue, was a wine merchant asking for orders, than that
  • he was Jack Ketch, refused the bills with scorn, wrote back
  • contumeliously to the old gentleman, bidding him to mind his own
  • affairs; and the protested paper coming back, Sedley and Co. had to
  • take it up, with the profits which they had made out of the Madras
  • venture, and with a little portion of Emmy's savings.
  • Besides her pension of fifty pounds a year, there had been five hundred
  • pounds, as her husband's executor stated, left in the agent's hands at
  • the time of Osborne's demise, which sum, as George's guardian, Dobbin
  • proposed to put out at 8 per cent in an Indian house of agency. Mr.
  • Sedley, who thought the Major had some roguish intentions of his own
  • about the money, was strongly against this plan; and he went to the
  • agents to protest personally against the employment of the money in
  • question, when he learned, to his surprise, that there had been no such
  • sum in their hands, that all the late Captain's assets did not amount
  • to a hundred pounds, and that the five hundred pounds in question must
  • be a separate sum, of which Major Dobbin knew the particulars. More
  • than ever convinced that there was some roguery, old Sedley pursued the
  • Major. As his daughter's nearest friend, he demanded with a high hand
  • a statement of the late Captain's accounts. Dobbin's stammering,
  • blushing, and awkwardness added to the other's convictions that he had
  • a rogue to deal with, and in a majestic tone he told that officer a
  • piece of his mind, as he called it, simply stating his belief that the
  • Major was unlawfully detaining his late son-in-law's money.
  • Dobbin at this lost all patience, and if his accuser had not been so
  • old and so broken, a quarrel might have ensued between them at the
  • Slaughters' Coffee-house, in a box of which place of entertainment the
  • gentlemen had their colloquy. "Come upstairs, sir," lisped out the
  • Major. "I insist on your coming up the stairs, and I will show which
  • is the injured party, poor George or I"; and, dragging the old
  • gentleman up to his bedroom, he produced from his desk Osborne's
  • accounts, and a bundle of IOU's which the latter had given, who, to do
  • him justice, was always ready to give an IOU. "He paid his bills in
  • England," Dobbin added, "but he had not a hundred pounds in the world
  • when he fell. I and one or two of his brother officers made up the
  • little sum, which was all that we could spare, and you dare tell us
  • that we are trying to cheat the widow and the orphan." Sedley was very
  • contrite and humbled, though the fact is that William Dobbin had told a
  • great falsehood to the old gentleman; having himself given every
  • shilling of the money, having buried his friend, and paid all the fees
  • and charges incident upon the calamity and removal of poor Amelia.
  • About these expenses old Osborne had never given himself any trouble to
  • think, nor any other relative of Amelia, nor Amelia herself, indeed.
  • She trusted to Major Dobbin as an accountant, took his somewhat
  • confused calculations for granted, and never once suspected how much
  • she was in his debt.
  • Twice or thrice in the year, according to her promise, she wrote him
  • letters to Madras, letters all about little Georgy. How he treasured
  • these papers! Whenever Amelia wrote he answered, and not until then.
  • But he sent over endless remembrances of himself to his godson and to
  • her. He ordered and sent a box of scarfs and a grand ivory set of
  • chess-men from China. The pawns were little green and white men, with
  • real swords and shields; the knights were on horseback, the castles
  • were on the backs of elephants. "Mrs. Mango's own set at the Pineries
  • was not so fine," Mr. Pestler remarked. These chess-men were the
  • delight of Georgy's life, who printed his first letter in
  • acknowledgement of this gift of his godpapa. He sent over preserves
  • and pickles, which latter the young gentleman tried surreptitiously in
  • the sideboard and half-killed himself with eating. He thought it was a
  • judgement upon him for stealing, they were so hot. Emmy wrote a
  • comical little account of this mishap to the Major: it pleased him to
  • think that her spirits were rallying and that she could be merry
  • sometimes now. He sent over a pair of shawls, a white one for her and
  • a black one with palm-leaves for her mother, and a pair of red scarfs,
  • as winter wrappers, for old Mr. Sedley and George. The shawls were
  • worth fifty guineas apiece at the very least, as Mrs. Sedley knew. She
  • wore hers in state at church at Brompton, and was congratulated by her
  • female friends upon the splendid acquisition. Emmy's, too, became
  • prettily her modest black gown. "What a pity it is she won't think of
  • him!" Mrs. Sedley remarked to Mrs. Clapp and to all her friends of
  • Brompton. "Jos never sent us such presents, I am sure, and grudges us
  • everything. It is evident that the Major is over head and ears in love
  • with her; and yet, whenever I so much as hint it, she turns red and
  • begins to cry and goes and sits upstairs with her miniature. I'm sick
  • of that miniature. I wish we had never seen those odious purse-proud
  • Osbornes."
  • Amidst such humble scenes and associates George's early youth was
  • passed, and the boy grew up delicate, sensitive, imperious,
  • woman-bred--domineering the gentle mother whom he loved with passionate
  • affection. He ruled all the rest of the little world round about him.
  • As he grew, the elders were amazed at his haughty manner and his
  • constant likeness to his father. He asked questions about everything,
  • as inquiring youth will do. The profundity of his remarks and
  • interrogatories astonished his old grandfather, who perfectly bored the
  • club at the tavern with stories about the little lad's learning and
  • genius. He suffered his grandmother with a good-humoured
  • indifference. The small circle round about him believed that the equal
  • of the boy did not exist upon the earth. Georgy inherited his father's
  • pride, and perhaps thought they were not wrong.
  • When he grew to be about six years old, Dobbin began to write to him
  • very much. The Major wanted to hear that Georgy was going to a school
  • and hoped he would acquit himself with credit there: or would he have
  • a good tutor at home? It was time that he should begin to learn; and
  • his godfather and guardian hinted that he hoped to be allowed to defray
  • the charges of the boy's education, which would fall heavily upon his
  • mother's straitened income. The Major, in a word, was always thinking
  • about Amelia and her little boy, and by orders to his agents kept the
  • latter provided with picture-books, paint-boxes, desks, and all
  • conceivable implements of amusement and instruction. Three days before
  • George's sixth birthday a gentleman in a gig, accompanied by a servant,
  • drove up to Mr. Sedley's house and asked to see Master George Osborne:
  • it was Mr. Woolsey, military tailor, of Conduit Street, who came at the
  • Major's order to measure the young gentleman for a suit of clothes. He
  • had had the honour of making for the Captain, the young gentleman's
  • father. Sometimes, too, and by the Major's desire no doubt, his
  • sisters, the Misses Dobbin, would call in the family carriage to take
  • Amelia and the little boy to drive if they were so inclined. The
  • patronage and kindness of these ladies was very uncomfortable to
  • Amelia, but she bore it meekly enough, for her nature was to yield;
  • and, besides, the carriage and its splendours gave little Georgy
  • immense pleasure. The ladies begged occasionally that the child might
  • pass a day with them, and he was always glad to go to that fine
  • garden-house at Denmark Hill, where they lived, and where there were
  • such fine grapes in the hot-houses and peaches on the walls.
  • One day they kindly came over to Amelia with news which they were SURE
  • would delight her--something VERY interesting about their dear William.
  • "What was it: was he coming home?" she asked with pleasure beaming in
  • her eyes.
  • "Oh, no--not the least--but they had very good reason to believe that
  • dear William was about to be married--and to a relation of a very dear
  • friend of Amelia's--to Miss Glorvina O'Dowd, Sir Michael O'Dowd's
  • sister, who had gone out to join Lady O'Dowd at Madras--a very
  • beautiful and accomplished girl, everybody said."
  • Amelia said "Oh!" Amelia was very VERY happy indeed. But she supposed
  • Glorvina could not be like her old acquaintance, who was most
  • kind--but--but she was very happy indeed. And by some impulse of which
  • I cannot explain the meaning, she took George in her arms and kissed
  • him with an extraordinary tenderness. Her eyes were quite moist when
  • she put the child down; and she scarcely spoke a word during the whole
  • of the drive--though she was so very happy indeed.
  • CHAPTER XXXIX
  • A Cynical Chapter
  • Our duty now takes us back for a brief space to some old Hampshire
  • acquaintances of ours, whose hopes respecting the disposal of their
  • rich kinswoman's property were so woefully disappointed. After
  • counting upon thirty thousand pounds from his sister, it was a heavy
  • blow to Bute Crawley to receive but five; out of which sum, when he
  • had paid his own debts and those of Jim, his son at college, a very
  • small fragment remained to portion off his four plain daughters. Mrs.
  • Bute never knew, or at least never acknowledged, how far her own
  • tyrannous behaviour had tended to ruin her husband. All that woman
  • could do, she vowed and protested she had done. Was it her fault if
  • she did not possess those sycophantic arts which her hypocritical
  • nephew, Pitt Crawley, practised? She wished him all the happiness which
  • he merited out of his ill-gotten gains. "At least the money will
  • remain in the family," she said charitably. "Pitt will never spend it,
  • my dear, that is quite certain; for a greater miser does not exist in
  • England, and he is as odious, though in a different way, as his
  • spendthrift brother, the abandoned Rawdon."
  • So Mrs. Bute, after the first shock of rage and disappointment, began
  • to accommodate herself as best she could to her altered fortunes and to
  • save and retrench with all her might. She instructed her daughters how
  • to bear poverty cheerfully, and invented a thousand notable methods to
  • conceal or evade it. She took them about to balls and public places in
  • the neighbourhood, with praiseworthy energy; nay, she entertained her
  • friends in a hospitable comfortable manner at the Rectory, and much
  • more frequently than before dear Miss Crawley's legacy had fallen in.
  • From her outward bearing nobody would have supposed that the family had
  • been disappointed in their expectations, or have guessed from her
  • frequent appearance in public how she pinched and starved at home. Her
  • girls had more milliners' furniture than they had ever enjoyed before.
  • They appeared perseveringly at the Winchester and Southampton
  • assemblies; they penetrated to Cowes for the race-balls and
  • regatta-gaieties there; and their carriage, with the horses taken from
  • the plough, was at work perpetually, until it began almost to be
  • believed that the four sisters had had fortunes left them by their
  • aunt, whose name the family never mentioned in public but with the most
  • tender gratitude and regard. I know no sort of lying which is more
  • frequent in Vanity Fair than this, and it may be remarked how people
  • who practise it take credit to themselves for their hypocrisy, and
  • fancy that they are exceedingly virtuous and praiseworthy, because they
  • are able to deceive the world with regard to the extent of their means.
  • Mrs. Bute certainly thought herself one of the most virtuous women in
  • England, and the sight of her happy family was an edifying one to
  • strangers. They were so cheerful, so loving, so well-educated, so
  • simple! Martha painted flowers exquisitely and furnished half the
  • charity bazaars in the county. Emma was a regular County Bulbul, and
  • her verses in the Hampshire Telegraph were the glory of its Poet's
  • Corner. Fanny and Matilda sang duets together, Mamma playing the
  • piano, and the other two sisters sitting with their arms round each
  • other's waists and listening affectionately. Nobody saw the poor girls
  • drumming at the duets in private. No one saw Mamma drilling them
  • rigidly hour after hour. In a word, Mrs. Bute put a good face against
  • fortune and kept up appearances in the most virtuous manner.
  • Everything that a good and respectable mother could do Mrs. Bute did.
  • She got over yachting men from Southampton, parsons from the Cathedral
  • Close at Winchester, and officers from the barracks there. She tried to
  • inveigle the young barristers at assizes and encouraged Jim to bring
  • home friends with whom he went out hunting with the H. H. What will
  • not a mother do for the benefit of her beloved ones?
  • Between such a woman and her brother-in-law, the odious Baronet at the
  • Hall, it is manifest that there could be very little in common. The
  • rupture between Bute and his brother Sir Pitt was complete; indeed,
  • between Sir Pitt and the whole county, to which the old man was a
  • scandal. His dislike for respectable society increased with age, and
  • the lodge-gates had not opened to a gentleman's carriage-wheels since
  • Pitt and Lady Jane came to pay their visit of duty after their marriage.
  • That was an awful and unfortunate visit, never to be thought of by the
  • family without horror. Pitt begged his wife, with a ghastly
  • countenance, never to speak of it, and it was only through Mrs. Bute
  • herself, who still knew everything which took place at the Hall, that
  • the circumstances of Sir Pitt's reception of his son and
  • daughter-in-law were ever known at all.
  • As they drove up the avenue of the park in their neat and
  • well-appointed carriage, Pitt remarked with dismay and wrath great gaps
  • among the trees--his trees--which the old Baronet was felling entirely
  • without license. The park wore an aspect of utter dreariness and ruin.
  • The drives were ill kept, and the neat carriage splashed and floundered
  • in muddy pools along the road. The great sweep in front of the terrace
  • and entrance stair was black and covered with mosses; the once trim
  • flower-beds rank and weedy. Shutters were up along almost the whole
  • line of the house; the great hall-door was unbarred after much ringing
  • of the bell; an individual in ribbons was seen flitting up the black
  • oak stair, as Horrocks at length admitted the heir of Queen's Crawley
  • and his bride into the halls of their fathers. He led the way into Sir
  • Pitt's "Library," as it was called, the fumes of tobacco growing
  • stronger as Pitt and Lady Jane approached that apartment, "Sir Pitt
  • ain't very well," Horrocks remarked apologetically and hinted that his
  • master was afflicted with lumbago.
  • The library looked out on the front walk and park. Sir Pitt had opened
  • one of the windows, and was bawling out thence to the postilion and
  • Pitt's servant, who seemed to be about to take the baggage down.
  • "Don't move none of them trunks," he cried, pointing with a pipe which
  • he held in his hand. "It's only a morning visit, Tucker, you fool.
  • Lor, what cracks that off hoss has in his heels! Ain't there no one at
  • the King's Head to rub 'em a little? How do, Pitt? How do, my dear?
  • Come to see the old man, hay? 'Gad--you've a pretty face, too. You
  • ain't like that old horse-godmother, your mother. Come and give old
  • Pitt a kiss, like a good little gal."
  • The embrace disconcerted the daughter-in-law somewhat, as the caresses
  • of the old gentleman, unshorn and perfumed with tobacco, might well do.
  • But she remembered that her brother Southdown had mustachios, and
  • smoked cigars, and submitted to the Baronet with a tolerable grace.
  • "Pitt has got vat," said the Baronet, after this mark of affection.
  • "Does he read ee very long zermons, my dear? Hundredth Psalm, Evening
  • Hymn, hay Pitt? Go and get a glass of Malmsey and a cake for my Lady
  • Jane, Horrocks, you great big booby, and don't stand stearing there
  • like a fat pig. I won't ask you to stop, my dear; you'll find it too
  • stoopid, and so should I too along a Pitt. I'm an old man now, and
  • like my own ways, and my pipe and backgammon of a night."
  • "I can play at backgammon, sir," said Lady Jane, laughing. "I used to
  • play with Papa and Miss Crawley, didn't I, Mr. Crawley?"
  • "Lady Jane can play, sir, at the game to which you state that you are
  • so partial," Pitt said haughtily.
  • "But she wawn't stop for all that. Naw, naw, goo back to Mudbury and
  • give Mrs. Rincer a benefit; or drive down to the Rectory and ask Buty
  • for a dinner. He'll be charmed to see you, you know; he's so much
  • obliged to you for gettin' the old woman's money. Ha, ha! Some of it
  • will do to patch up the Hall when I'm gone."
  • "I perceive, sir," said Pitt with a heightened voice, "that your people
  • will cut down the timber."
  • "Yees, yees, very fine weather, and seasonable for the time of year,"
  • Sir Pitt answered, who had suddenly grown deaf. "But I'm gittin' old,
  • Pitt, now. Law bless you, you ain't far from fifty yourself. But he
  • wears well, my pretty Lady Jane, don't he? It's all godliness,
  • sobriety, and a moral life. Look at me, I'm not very fur from
  • fowr-score--he, he"; and he laughed, and took snuff, and leered at her
  • and pinched her hand.
  • Pitt once more brought the conversation back to the timber, but the
  • Baronet was deaf again in an instant.
  • "I'm gittin' very old, and have been cruel bad this year with the
  • lumbago. I shan't be here now for long; but I'm glad ee've come,
  • daughter-in-law. I like your face, Lady Jane: it's got none of the
  • damned high-boned Binkie look in it; and I'll give ee something pretty,
  • my dear, to go to Court in." And he shuffled across the room to a
  • cupboard, from which he took a little old case containing jewels of
  • some value. "Take that," said he, "my dear; it belonged to my mother,
  • and afterwards to the first Lady Binkie. Pretty pearls--never gave 'em
  • the ironmonger's daughter. No, no. Take 'em and put 'em up quick,"
  • said he, thrusting the case into his daughter's hand, and clapping the
  • door of the cabinet to, as Horrocks entered with a salver and
  • refreshments.
  • "What have you a been and given Pitt's wife?" said the individual in
  • ribbons, when Pitt and Lady Jane had taken leave of the old gentleman.
  • It was Miss Horrocks, the butler's daughter--the cause of the scandal
  • throughout the county--the lady who reigned now almost supreme at
  • Queen's Crawley.
  • The rise and progress of those Ribbons had been marked with dismay by
  • the county and family. The Ribbons opened an account at the Mudbury
  • Branch Savings Bank; the Ribbons drove to church, monopolising the
  • pony-chaise, which was for the use of the servants at the Hall. The
  • domestics were dismissed at her pleasure. The Scotch gardener, who
  • still lingered on the premises, taking a pride in his walls and
  • hot-houses, and indeed making a pretty good livelihood by the garden,
  • which he farmed, and of which he sold the produce at Southampton, found
  • the Ribbons eating peaches on a sunshiny morning at the south-wall, and
  • had his ears boxed when he remonstrated about this attack on his
  • property. He and his Scotch wife and his Scotch children, the only
  • respectable inhabitants of Queen's Crawley, were forced to migrate,
  • with their goods and their chattels, and left the stately comfortable
  • gardens to go to waste, and the flower-beds to run to seed. Poor Lady
  • Crawley's rose-garden became the dreariest wilderness. Only two or
  • three domestics shuddered in the bleak old servants' hall. The stables
  • and offices were vacant, and shut up, and half ruined. Sir Pitt lived
  • in private, and boozed nightly with Horrocks, his butler or house-steward
  • (as he now began to be called), and the abandoned Ribbons. The
  • times were very much changed since the period when she drove to Mudbury
  • in the spring-cart and called the small tradesmen "Sir." It may have
  • been shame, or it may have been dislike of his neighbours, but the old
  • Cynic of Queen's Crawley hardly issued from his park-gates at all now.
  • He quarrelled with his agents and screwed his tenants by letter. His
  • days were passed in conducting his own correspondence; the lawyers and
  • farm-bailiffs who had to do business with him could not reach him but
  • through the Ribbons, who received them at the door of the housekeeper's
  • room, which commanded the back entrance by which they were admitted;
  • and so the Baronet's daily perplexities increased, and his
  • embarrassments multiplied round him.
  • The horror of Pitt Crawley may be imagined, as these reports of his
  • father's dotage reached the most exemplary and correct of gentlemen. He
  • trembled daily lest he should hear that the Ribbons was proclaimed his
  • second legal mother-in-law. After that first and last visit, his
  • father's name was never mentioned in Pitt's polite and genteel
  • establishment. It was the skeleton in his house, and all the family
  • walked by it in terror and silence. The Countess Southdown kept on
  • dropping per coach at the lodge-gate the most exciting tracts, tracts
  • which ought to frighten the hair off your head. Mrs. Bute at the
  • parsonage nightly looked out to see if the sky was red over the elms
  • behind which the Hall stood, and the mansion was on fire. Sir G.
  • Wapshot and Sir H. Fuddlestone, old friends of the house, wouldn't sit
  • on the bench with Sir Pitt at Quarter Sessions, and cut him dead in the
  • High Street of Southampton, where the reprobate stood offering his
  • dirty old hands to them. Nothing had any effect upon him; he put his
  • hands into his pockets, and burst out laughing, as he scrambled into
  • his carriage and four; he used to burst out laughing at Lady
  • Southdown's tracts; and he laughed at his sons, and at the world, and
  • at the Ribbons when she was angry, which was not seldom.
  • Miss Horrocks was installed as housekeeper at Queen's Crawley, and
  • ruled all the domestics there with great majesty and rigour. All the
  • servants were instructed to address her as "Mum," or "Madam"--and
  • there was one little maid, on her promotion, who persisted in calling
  • her "My Lady," without any rebuke on the part of the housekeeper.
  • "There has been better ladies, and there has been worser, Hester," was
  • Miss Horrocks' reply to this compliment of her inferior; so she ruled,
  • having supreme power over all except her father, whom, however, she
  • treated with considerable haughtiness, warning him not to be too
  • familiar in his behaviour to one "as was to be a Baronet's lady."
  • Indeed, she rehearsed that exalted part in life with great satisfaction
  • to herself, and to the amusement of old Sir Pitt, who chuckled at her
  • airs and graces, and would laugh by the hour together at her
  • assumptions of dignity and imitations of genteel life. He swore it was
  • as good as a play to see her in the character of a fine dame, and he
  • made her put on one of the first Lady Crawley's court-dresses, swearing
  • (entirely to Miss Horrocks' own concurrence) that the dress became her
  • prodigiously, and threatening to drive her off that very instant to
  • Court in a coach-and-four. She had the ransacking of the wardrobes of
  • the two defunct ladies, and cut and hacked their posthumous finery so
  • as to suit her own tastes and figure. And she would have liked to take
  • possession of their jewels and trinkets too; but the old Baronet had
  • locked them away in his private cabinet; nor could she coax or wheedle
  • him out of the keys. And it is a fact, that some time after she left
  • Queen's Crawley a copy-book belonging to this lady was discovered,
  • which showed that she had taken great pains in private to learn the art
  • of writing in general, and especially of writing her own name as Lady
  • Crawley, Lady Betsy Horrocks, Lady Elizabeth Crawley, &c.
  • Though the good people of the Parsonage never went to the Hall and
  • shunned the horrid old dotard its owner, yet they kept a strict
  • knowledge of all that happened there, and were looking out every day
  • for the catastrophe for which Miss Horrocks was also eager. But Fate
  • intervened enviously and prevented her from receiving the reward due to
  • such immaculate love and virtue.
  • One day the Baronet surprised "her ladyship," as he jocularly called
  • her, seated at that old and tuneless piano in the drawing-room, which
  • had scarcely been touched since Becky Sharp played quadrilles upon
  • it--seated at the piano with the utmost gravity and squalling to the
  • best of her power in imitation of the music which she had sometimes
  • heard. The little kitchen-maid on her promotion was standing at her
  • mistress's side, quite delighted during the operation, and wagging her
  • head up and down and crying, "Lor, Mum, 'tis bittiful"--just like a
  • genteel sycophant in a real drawing-room.
  • This incident made the old Baronet roar with laughter, as usual. He
  • narrated the circumstance a dozen times to Horrocks in the course of
  • the evening, and greatly to the discomfiture of Miss Horrocks. He
  • thrummed on the table as if it had been a musical instrument, and
  • squalled in imitation of her manner of singing. He vowed that such a
  • beautiful voice ought to be cultivated and declared she ought to have
  • singing-masters, in which proposals she saw nothing ridiculous. He was
  • in great spirits that night, and drank with his friend and butler an
  • extraordinary quantity of rum-and-water--at a very late hour the
  • faithful friend and domestic conducted his master to his bedroom.
  • Half an hour afterwards there was a great hurry and bustle in the
  • house. Lights went about from window to window in the lonely desolate
  • old Hall, whereof but two or three rooms were ordinarily occupied by
  • its owner. Presently, a boy on a pony went galloping off to Mudbury, to
  • the Doctor's house there. And in another hour (by which fact we
  • ascertain how carefully the excellent Mrs. Bute Crawley had always kept
  • up an understanding with the great house), that lady in her clogs and
  • calash, the Reverend Bute Crawley, and James Crawley, her son, had
  • walked over from the Rectory through the park, and had entered the
  • mansion by the open hall-door.
  • They passed through the hall and the small oak parlour, on the table of
  • which stood the three tumblers and the empty rum-bottle which had
  • served for Sir Pitt's carouse, and through that apartment into Sir
  • Pitt's study, where they found Miss Horrocks, of the guilty ribbons,
  • with a wild air, trying at the presses and escritoires with a bunch of
  • keys. She dropped them with a scream of terror, as little Mrs. Bute's
  • eyes flashed out at her from under her black calash.
  • "Look at that, James and Mr. Crawley," cried Mrs. Bute, pointing at the
  • scared figure of the black-eyed, guilty wench.
  • "He gave 'em me; he gave 'em me!" she cried.
  • "Gave them you, you abandoned creature!" screamed Mrs. Bute. "Bear
  • witness, Mr. Crawley, we found this good-for-nothing woman in the act
  • of stealing your brother's property; and she will be hanged, as I
  • always said she would."
  • Betsy Horrocks, quite daunted, flung herself down on her knees,
  • bursting into tears. But those who know a really good woman are aware
  • that she is not in a hurry to forgive, and that the humiliation of an
  • enemy is a triumph to her soul.
  • "Ring the bell, James," Mrs. Bute said. "Go on ringing it till the
  • people come." The three or four domestics resident in the deserted old
  • house came presently at that jangling and continued summons.
  • "Put that woman in the strong-room," she said. "We caught her in the
  • act of robbing Sir Pitt. Mr. Crawley, you'll make out her
  • committal--and, Beddoes, you'll drive her over in the spring cart, in
  • the morning, to Southampton Gaol."
  • "My dear," interposed the Magistrate and Rector--"she's only--"
  • "Are there no handcuffs?" Mrs. Bute continued, stamping in her clogs.
  • "There used to be handcuffs. Where's the creature's abominable father?"
  • "He DID give 'em me," still cried poor Betsy; "didn't he, Hester? You
  • saw Sir Pitt--you know you did--give 'em me, ever so long ago--the day
  • after Mudbury fair: not that I want 'em. Take 'em if you think they
  • ain't mine." And here the unhappy wretch pulled out from her pocket a
  • large pair of paste shoe-buckles which had excited her admiration, and
  • which she had just appropriated out of one of the bookcases in the
  • study, where they had lain.
  • "Law, Betsy, how could you go for to tell such a wicked story!" said
  • Hester, the little kitchen-maid late on her promotion--"and to Madame
  • Crawley, so good and kind, and his Rev'rince (with a curtsey), and you
  • may search all MY boxes, Mum, I'm sure, and here's my keys as I'm an
  • honest girl, though of pore parents and workhouse bred--and if you find
  • so much as a beggarly bit of lace or a silk stocking out of all the
  • gownds as YOU'VE had the picking of, may I never go to church agin."
  • "Give up your keys, you hardened hussy," hissed out the virtuous little
  • lady in the calash.
  • "And here's a candle, Mum, and if you please, Mum, I can show you her
  • room, Mum, and the press in the housekeeper's room, Mum, where she
  • keeps heaps and heaps of things, Mum," cried out the eager little
  • Hester with a profusion of curtseys.
  • "Hold your tongue, if you please. I know the room which the creature
  • occupies perfectly well. Mrs. Brown, have the goodness to come with
  • me, and Beddoes don't you lose sight of that woman," said Mrs. Bute,
  • seizing the candle. "Mr. Crawley, you had better go upstairs and see
  • that they are not murdering your unfortunate brother"--and the calash,
  • escorted by Mrs. Brown, walked away to the apartment which, as she said
  • truly, she knew perfectly well.
  • Bute went upstairs and found the Doctor from Mudbury, with the
  • frightened Horrocks over his master in a chair. They were trying to
  • bleed Sir Pitt Crawley.
  • With the early morning an express was sent off to Mr. Pitt Crawley by
  • the Rector's lady, who assumed the command of everything, and had
  • watched the old Baronet through the night. He had been brought back to
  • a sort of life; he could not speak, but seemed to recognize people.
  • Mrs. Bute kept resolutely by his bedside. She never seemed to want to
  • sleep, that little woman, and did not close her fiery black eyes once,
  • though the Doctor snored in the arm-chair. Horrocks made some wild
  • efforts to assert his authority and assist his master; but Mrs. Bute
  • called him a tipsy old wretch and bade him never show his face again in
  • that house, or he should be transported like his abominable daughter.
  • Terrified by her manner, he slunk down to the oak parlour where Mr.
  • James was, who, having tried the bottle standing there and found no
  • liquor in it, ordered Mr. Horrocks to get another bottle of rum, which
  • he fetched, with clean glasses, and to which the Rector and his son sat
  • down, ordering Horrocks to put down the keys at that instant and never
  • to show his face again.
  • Cowed by this behaviour, Horrocks gave up the keys, and he and his
  • daughter slunk off silently through the night and gave up possession of
  • the house of Queen's Crawley.
  • CHAPTER XL
  • In Which Becky Is Recognized by the Family
  • The heir of Crawley arrived at home, in due time, after this
  • catastrophe, and henceforth may be said to have reigned in Queen's
  • Crawley. For though the old Baronet survived many months, he never
  • recovered the use of his intellect or his speech completely, and the
  • government of the estate devolved upon his elder son. In a strange
  • condition Pitt found it. Sir Pitt was always buying and mortgaging; he
  • had twenty men of business, and quarrels with each; quarrels with all
  • his tenants, and lawsuits with them; lawsuits with the lawyers;
  • lawsuits with the Mining and Dock Companies in which he was proprietor;
  • and with every person with whom he had business. To unravel these
  • difficulties and to set the estate clear was a task worthy of the
  • orderly and persevering diplomatist of Pumpernickel, and he set himself
  • to work with prodigious assiduity. His whole family, of course, was
  • transported to Queen's Crawley, whither Lady Southdown, of course, came
  • too; and she set about converting the parish under the Rector's nose,
  • and brought down her irregular clergy to the dismay of the angry Mrs
  • Bute. Sir Pitt had concluded no bargain for the sale of the living of
  • Queen's Crawley; when it should drop, her Ladyship proposed to take the
  • patronage into her own hands and present a young protege to the
  • Rectory, on which subject the diplomatic Pitt said nothing.
  • Mrs. Bute's intentions with regard to Miss Betsy Horrocks were not
  • carried into effect, and she paid no visit to Southampton Gaol. She
  • and her father left the Hall when the latter took possession of the
  • Crawley Arms in the village, of which he had got a lease from Sir Pitt.
  • The ex-butler had obtained a small freehold there likewise, which gave
  • him a vote for the borough. The Rector had another of these votes, and
  • these and four others formed the representative body which returned the
  • two members for Queen's Crawley.
  • There was a show of courtesy kept up between the Rectory and the Hall
  • ladies, between the younger ones at least, for Mrs. Bute and Lady
  • Southdown never could meet without battles, and gradually ceased seeing
  • each other. Her Ladyship kept her room when the ladies from the
  • Rectory visited their cousins at the Hall. Perhaps Mr. Pitt was not
  • very much displeased at these occasional absences of his mamma-in-law.
  • He believed the Binkie family to be the greatest and wisest and most
  • interesting in the world, and her Ladyship and his aunt had long held
  • ascendency over him; but sometimes he felt that she commanded him too
  • much. To be considered young was complimentary, doubtless, but at
  • six-and-forty to be treated as a boy was sometimes mortifying. Lady
  • Jane yielded up everything, however, to her mother. She was only fond
  • of her children in private, and it was lucky for her that Lady
  • Southdown's multifarious business, her conferences with ministers, and
  • her correspondence with all the missionaries of Africa, Asia, and
  • Australasia, &c., occupied the venerable Countess a great deal, so that
  • she had but little time to devote to her granddaughter, the little
  • Matilda, and her grandson, Master Pitt Crawley. The latter was a feeble
  • child, and it was only by prodigious quantities of calomel that Lady
  • Southdown was able to keep him in life at all.
  • As for Sir Pitt he retired into those very apartments where Lady
  • Crawley had been previously extinguished, and here was tended by Miss
  • Hester, the girl upon her promotion, with constant care and assiduity.
  • What love, what fidelity, what constancy is there equal to that of a
  • nurse with good wages? They smooth pillows; and make arrowroot; they
  • get up at nights; they bear complaints and querulousness; they see the
  • sun shining out of doors and don't want to go abroad; they sleep on
  • arm-chairs and eat their meals in solitude; they pass long long
  • evenings doing nothing, watching the embers, and the patient's drink
  • simmering in the jug; they read the weekly paper the whole week
  • through; and Law's Serious Call or the Whole Duty of Man suffices them
  • for literature for the year--and we quarrel with them because, when
  • their relations come to see them once a week, a little gin is smuggled
  • in in their linen basket. Ladies, what man's love is there that would
  • stand a year's nursing of the object of his affection? Whereas a nurse
  • will stand by you for ten pounds a quarter, and we think her too highly
  • paid. At least Mr. Crawley grumbled a good deal about paying half as
  • much to Miss Hester for her constant attendance upon the Baronet his
  • father.
  • Of sunshiny days this old gentleman was taken out in a chair on the
  • terrace--the very chair which Miss Crawley had had at Brighton, and
  • which had been transported thence with a number of Lady Southdown's
  • effects to Queen's Crawley. Lady Jane always walked by the old man,
  • and was an evident favourite with him. He used to nod many times to
  • her and smile when she came in, and utter inarticulate deprecatory
  • moans when she was going away. When the door shut upon her he would
  • cry and sob--whereupon Hester's face and manner, which was always
  • exceedingly bland and gentle while her lady was present, would change
  • at once, and she would make faces at him and clench her fist and scream
  • out "Hold your tongue, you stoopid old fool," and twirl away his chair
  • from the fire which he loved to look at--at which he would cry more.
  • For this was all that was left after more than seventy years of
  • cunning, and struggling, and drinking, and scheming, and sin and
  • selfishness--a whimpering old idiot put in and out of bed and cleaned
  • and fed like a baby.
  • At last a day came when the nurse's occupation was over. Early one
  • morning, as Pitt Crawley was at his steward's and bailiff's books in
  • the study, a knock came to the door, and Hester presented herself,
  • dropping a curtsey, and said,
  • "If you please, Sir Pitt, Sir Pitt died this morning, Sir Pitt. I was
  • a-making of his toast, Sir Pitt, for his gruel, Sir Pitt, which he took
  • every morning regular at six, Sir Pitt, and--I thought I heard a
  • moan-like, Sir Pitt--and--and--and--" She dropped another curtsey.
  • What was it that made Pitt's pale face flush quite red? Was it because
  • he was Sir Pitt at last, with a seat in Parliament, and perhaps future
  • honours in prospect? "I'll clear the estate now with the ready money,"
  • he thought and rapidly calculated its incumbrances and the improvements
  • which he would make. He would not use his aunt's money previously lest
  • Sir Pitt should recover and his outlay be in vain.
  • All the blinds were pulled down at the Hall and Rectory: the church
  • bell was tolled, and the chancel hung in black; and Bute Crawley didn't
  • go to a coursing meeting, but went and dined quietly at Fuddleston,
  • where they talked about his deceased brother and young Sir Pitt over
  • their port. Miss Betsy, who was by this time married to a saddler at
  • Mudbury, cried a good deal. The family surgeon rode over and paid his
  • respectful compliments, and inquiries for the health of their
  • ladyships. The death was talked about at Mudbury and at the Crawley
  • Arms, the landlord whereof had become reconciled with the Rector of
  • late, who was occasionally known to step into the parlour and taste Mr.
  • Horrocks' mild beer.
  • "Shall I write to your brother--or will you?" asked Lady Jane of her
  • husband, Sir Pitt.
  • "I will write, of course," Sir Pitt said, "and invite him to the
  • funeral: it will be but becoming."
  • "And--and--Mrs. Rawdon," said Lady Jane timidly.
  • "Jane!" said Lady Southdown, "how can you think of such a thing?"
  • "Mrs. Rawdon must of course be asked," said Sir Pitt, resolutely.
  • "Not whilst I am in the house!" said Lady Southdown.
  • "Your Ladyship will be pleased to recollect that I am the head of this
  • family," Sir Pitt replied. "If you please, Lady Jane, you will write a
  • letter to Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, requesting her presence upon this
  • melancholy occasion."
  • "Jane, I forbid you to put pen to paper!" cried the Countess.
  • "I believe I am the head of this family," Sir Pitt repeated; "and
  • however much I may regret any circumstance which may lead to your
  • Ladyship quitting this house, must, if you please, continue to govern
  • it as I see fit."
  • Lady Southdown rose up as magnificent as Mrs. Siddons in Lady Macbeth
  • and ordered that horses might be put to her carriage. If her son and
  • daughter turned her out of their house, she would hide her sorrows
  • somewhere in loneliness and pray for their conversion to better
  • thoughts.
  • "We don't turn you out of our house, Mamma," said the timid Lady Jane
  • imploringly.
  • "You invite such company to it as no Christian lady should meet, and I
  • will have my horses to-morrow morning."
  • "Have the goodness to write, Jane, under my dictation," said Sir Pitt,
  • rising and throwing himself into an attitude of command, like the
  • portrait of a Gentleman in the Exhibition, "and begin. 'Queen's
  • Crawley, September 14, 1822.--My dear brother--'"
  • Hearing these decisive and terrible words, Lady Macbeth, who had been
  • waiting for a sign of weakness or vacillation on the part of her
  • son-in-law, rose and, with a scared look, left the library. Lady Jane
  • looked up to her husband as if she would fain follow and soothe her
  • mamma, but Pitt forbade his wife to move.
  • "She won't go away," he said. "She has let her house at Brighton and
  • has spent her last half-year's dividends. A Countess living at an inn
  • is a ruined woman. I have been waiting long for an opportunity--to
  • take this--this decisive step, my love; for, as you must perceive, it
  • is impossible that there should be two chiefs in a family: and now, if
  • you please, we will resume the dictation. 'My dear brother, the
  • melancholy intelligence which it is my duty to convey to my family must
  • have been long anticipated by,'" &c.
  • In a word, Pitt having come to his kingdom, and having by good luck, or
  • desert rather, as he considered, assumed almost all the fortune which
  • his other relatives had expected, was determined to treat his family
  • kindly and respectably and make a house of Queen's Crawley once more.
  • It pleased him to think that he should be its chief. He proposed to
  • use the vast influence that his commanding talents and position must
  • speedily acquire for him in the county to get his brother placed and
  • his cousins decently provided for, and perhaps had a little sting of
  • repentance as he thought that he was the proprietor of all that they
  • had hoped for. In the course of three or four days' reign his bearing
  • was changed and his plans quite fixed: he determined to rule justly
  • and honestly, to depose Lady Southdown, and to be on the friendliest
  • possible terms with all the relations of his blood.
  • So he dictated a letter to his brother Rawdon--a solemn and elaborate
  • letter, containing the profoundest observations, couched in the longest
  • words, and filling with wonder the simple little secretary, who wrote
  • under her husband's order. "What an orator this will be," thought she,
  • "when he enters the House of Commons" (on which point, and on the
  • tyranny of Lady Southdown, Pitt had sometimes dropped hints to his wife
  • in bed); "how wise and good, and what a genius my husband is! I
  • fancied him a little cold; but how good, and what a genius!"
  • The fact is, Pitt Crawley had got every word of the letter by heart and
  • had studied it, with diplomatic secrecy, deeply and perfectly, long
  • before he thought fit to communicate it to his astonished wife.
  • This letter, with a huge black border and seal, was accordingly
  • despatched by Sir Pitt Crawley to his brother the Colonel, in London.
  • Rawdon Crawley was but half-pleased at the receipt of it. "What's the
  • use of going down to that stupid place?" thought he. "I can't stand
  • being alone with Pitt after dinner, and horses there and back will cost
  • us twenty pound."
  • He carried the letter, as he did all difficulties, to Becky, upstairs
  • in her bedroom--with her chocolate, which he always made and took to
  • her of a morning.
  • He put the tray with the breakfast and the letter on the dressing-table,
  • before which Becky sat combing her yellow hair. She took up the
  • black-edged missive, and having read it, she jumped up from the chair,
  • crying "Hurray!" and waving the note round her head.
  • "Hurray?" said Rawdon, wondering at the little figure capering about in
  • a streaming flannel dressing-gown, with tawny locks dishevelled. "He's
  • not left us anything, Becky. I had my share when I came of age."
  • "You'll never be of age, you silly old man," Becky replied. "Run out
  • now to Madam Brunoy's, for I must have some mourning: and get a crape
  • on your hat, and a black waistcoat--I don't think you've got one; order
  • it to be brought home to-morrow, so that we may be able to start on
  • Thursday."
  • "You don't mean to go?" Rawdon interposed.
  • "Of course I mean to go. I mean that Lady Jane shall present me at
  • Court next year. I mean that your brother shall give you a seat in
  • Parliament, you stupid old creature. I mean that Lord Steyne shall
  • have your vote and his, my dear, old silly man; and that you shall be
  • an Irish Secretary, or a West Indian Governor: or a Treasurer, or a
  • Consul, or some such thing."
  • "Posting will cost a dooce of a lot of money," grumbled Rawdon.
  • "We might take Southdown's carriage, which ought to be present at the
  • funeral, as he is a relation of the family: but, no--I intend that we
  • shall go by the coach. They'll like it better. It seems more humble--"
  • "Rawdy goes, of course?" the Colonel asked.
  • "No such thing; why pay an extra place? He's too big to travel bodkin
  • between you and me. Let him stay here in the nursery, and Briggs can
  • make him a black frock. Go you, and do as I bid you. And you had best
  • tell Sparks, your man, that old Sir Pitt is dead and that you will come
  • in for something considerable when the affairs are arranged. He'll
  • tell this to Raggles, who has been pressing for money, and it will
  • console poor Raggles." And so Becky began sipping her chocolate.
  • When the faithful Lord Steyne arrived in the evening, he found Becky
  • and her companion, who was no other than our friend Briggs, busy
  • cutting, ripping, snipping, and tearing all sorts of black stuffs
  • available for the melancholy occasion.
  • "Miss Briggs and I are plunged in grief and despondency for the death
  • of our Papa," Rebecca said. "Sir Pitt Crawley is dead, my lord. We
  • have been tearing our hair all the morning, and now we are tearing up
  • our old clothes."
  • "Oh, Rebecca, how can you--" was all that Briggs could say as she
  • turned up her eyes.
  • "Oh, Rebecca, how can you--" echoed my Lord. "So that old scoundrel's
  • dead, is he? He might have been a Peer if he had played his cards
  • better. Mr. Pitt had very nearly made him; but he ratted always at the
  • wrong time. What an old Silenus it was!"
  • "I might have been Silenus's widow," said Rebecca. "Don't you remember,
  • Miss Briggs, how you peeped in at the door and saw old Sir Pitt on his
  • knees to me?" Miss Briggs, our old friend, blushed very much at this
  • reminiscence, and was glad when Lord Steyne ordered her to go
  • downstairs and make him a cup of tea.
  • Briggs was the house-dog whom Rebecca had provided as guardian of her
  • innocence and reputation. Miss Crawley had left her a little annuity.
  • She would have been content to remain in the Crawley family with Lady
  • Jane, who was good to her and to everybody; but Lady Southdown
  • dismissed poor Briggs as quickly as decency permitted; and Mr. Pitt
  • (who thought himself much injured by the uncalled-for generosity of his
  • deceased relative towards a lady who had only been Miss Crawley's
  • faithful retainer a score of years) made no objection to that exercise
  • of the dowager's authority. Bowls and Firkin likewise received their
  • legacies and their dismissals, and married and set up a lodging-house,
  • according to the custom of their kind.
  • Briggs tried to live with her relations in the country, but found that
  • attempt was vain after the better society to which she had been
  • accustomed. Briggs's friends, small tradesmen, in a country town,
  • quarrelled over Miss Briggs's forty pounds a year as eagerly and more
  • openly than Miss Crawley's kinsfolk had for that lady's inheritance.
  • Briggs's brother, a radical hatter and grocer, called his sister a
  • purse-proud aristocrat, because she would not advance a part of her
  • capital to stock his shop; and she would have done so most likely, but
  • that their sister, a dissenting shoemaker's lady, at variance with the
  • hatter and grocer, who went to another chapel, showed how their brother
  • was on the verge of bankruptcy, and took possession of Briggs for a
  • while. The dissenting shoemaker wanted Miss Briggs to send his son to
  • college and make a gentleman of him. Between them the two families got
  • a great portion of her private savings out of her, and finally she fled
  • to London followed by the anathemas of both, and determined to seek for
  • servitude again as infinitely less onerous than liberty. And
  • advertising in the papers that a "Gentlewoman of agreeable manners, and
  • accustomed to the best society, was anxious to," &c., she took up her
  • residence with Mr. Bowls in Half Moon Street, and waited the result of
  • the advertisement.
  • So it was that she fell in with Rebecca. Mrs. Rawdon's dashing little
  • carriage and ponies was whirling down the street one day, just as Miss
  • Briggs, fatigued, had reached Mr. Bowls's door, after a weary walk to
  • the Times Office in the City to insert her advertisement for the sixth
  • time. Rebecca was driving, and at once recognized the gentlewoman with
  • agreeable manners, and being a perfectly good-humoured woman, as we
  • have seen, and having a regard for Briggs, she pulled up the ponies at
  • the doorsteps, gave the reins to the groom, and jumping out, had hold
  • of both Briggs's hands, before she of the agreeable manners had
  • recovered from the shock of seeing an old friend.
  • Briggs cried, and Becky laughed a great deal and kissed the gentlewoman
  • as soon as they got into the passage; and thence into Mrs. Bowls's
  • front parlour, with the red moreen curtains, and the round
  • looking-glass, with the chained eagle above, gazing upon the back of
  • the ticket in the window which announced "Apartments to Let."
  • Briggs told all her history amidst those perfectly uncalled-for sobs
  • and ejaculations of wonder with which women of her soft nature salute
  • an old acquaintance, or regard a rencontre in the street; for though
  • people meet other people every day, yet some there are who insist upon
  • discovering miracles; and women, even though they have disliked each
  • other, begin to cry when they meet, deploring and remembering the time
  • when they last quarrelled. So, in a word, Briggs told all her history,
  • and Becky gave a narrative of her own life, with her usual artlessness
  • and candour.
  • Mrs. Bowls, late Firkin, came and listened grimly in the passage to the
  • hysterical sniffling and giggling which went on in the front parlour.
  • Becky had never been a favourite of hers. Since the establishment of
  • the married couple in London they had frequented their former friends
  • of the house of Raggles, and did not like the latter's account of the
  • Colonel's menage. "I wouldn't trust him, Ragg, my boy," Bowls
  • remarked; and his wife, when Mrs. Rawdon issued from the parlour, only
  • saluted the lady with a very sour curtsey; and her fingers were like so
  • many sausages, cold and lifeless, when she held them out in deference
  • to Mrs. Rawdon, who persisted in shaking hands with the retired lady's
  • maid. She whirled away into Piccadilly, nodding with the sweetest of
  • smiles towards Miss Briggs, who hung nodding at the window close under
  • the advertisement-card, and at the next moment was in the park with a
  • half-dozen of dandies cantering after her carriage.
  • When she found how her friend was situated, and how having a snug
  • legacy from Miss Crawley, salary was no object to our gentlewoman,
  • Becky instantly formed some benevolent little domestic plans concerning
  • her. This was just such a companion as would suit her establishment,
  • and she invited Briggs to come to dinner with her that very evening,
  • when she should see Becky's dear little darling Rawdon.
  • Mrs. Bowls cautioned her lodger against venturing into the lion's den,
  • "wherein you will rue it, Miss B., mark my words, and as sure as my
  • name is Bowls." And Briggs promised to be very cautious. The upshot of
  • which caution was that she went to live with Mrs. Rawdon the next week,
  • and had lent Rawdon Crawley six hundred pounds upon annuity before six
  • months were over.
  • CHAPTER XLI
  • In Which Becky Revisits the Halls of Her Ancestors
  • So the mourning being ready, and Sir Pitt Crawley warned of their
  • arrival, Colonel Crawley and his wife took a couple of places in the
  • same old High-flyer coach by which Rebecca had travelled in the defunct
  • Baronet's company, on her first journey into the world some nine years
  • before. How well she remembered the Inn Yard, and the ostler to whom
  • she refused money, and the insinuating Cambridge lad who wrapped her in
  • his coat on the journey! Rawdon took his place outside, and would have
  • liked to drive, but his grief forbade him. He sat by the coachman and
  • talked about horses and the road the whole way; and who kept the inns,
  • and who horsed the coach by which he had travelled so many a time, when
  • he and Pitt were boys going to Eton. At Mudbury a carriage and a pair
  • of horses received them, with a coachman in black. "It's the old drag,
  • Rawdon," Rebecca said as they got in. "The worms have eaten the cloth
  • a good deal--there's the stain which Sir Pitt--ha! I see Dawson the
  • Ironmonger has his shutters up--which Sir Pitt made such a noise about.
  • It was a bottle of cherry brandy he broke which we went to fetch for
  • your aunt from Southampton. How time flies, to be sure! That can't be
  • Polly Talboys, that bouncing girl standing by her mother at the cottage
  • there. I remember her a mangy little urchin picking weeds in the
  • garden."
  • "Fine gal," said Rawdon, returning the salute which the cottage gave
  • him, by two fingers applied to his crape hatband. Becky bowed and
  • saluted, and recognized people here and there graciously. These
  • recognitions were inexpressibly pleasant to her. It seemed as if she
  • was not an imposter any more, and was coming to the home of her
  • ancestors. Rawdon was rather abashed and cast down, on the other hand.
  • What recollections of boyhood and innocence might have been flitting
  • across his brain? What pangs of dim remorse and doubt and shame?
  • "Your sisters must be young women now," Rebecca said, thinking of those
  • girls for the first time perhaps since she had left them.
  • "Don't know, I'm shaw," replied the Colonel. "Hullo! here's old Mother
  • Lock. How-dy-do, Mrs. Lock? Remember me, don't you? Master Rawdon,
  • hey? Dammy how those old women last; she was a hundred when I was a
  • boy."
  • They were going through the lodge-gates kept by old Mrs. Lock, whose
  • hand Rebecca insisted upon shaking, as she flung open the creaking old
  • iron gate, and the carriage passed between the two moss-grown pillars
  • surmounted by the dove and serpent.
  • "The governor has cut into the timber," Rawdon said, looking about, and
  • then was silent--so was Becky. Both of them were rather agitated, and
  • thinking of old times. He about Eton, and his mother, whom he
  • remembered, a frigid demure woman, and a sister who died, of whom he
  • had been passionately fond; and how he used to thrash Pitt; and about
  • little Rawdy at home. And Rebecca thought about her own youth and the
  • dark secrets of those early tainted days; and of her entrance into life
  • by yonder gates; and of Miss Pinkerton, and Joe, and Amelia.
  • The gravel walk and terrace had been scraped quite clean. A grand
  • painted hatchment was already over the great entrance, and two very
  • solemn and tall personages in black flung open each a leaf of the door
  • as the carriage pulled up at the familiar steps. Rawdon turned red,
  • and Becky somewhat pale, as they passed through the old hall, arm in
  • arm. She pinched her husband's arm as they entered the oak parlour,
  • where Sir Pitt and his wife were ready to receive them. Sir Pitt in
  • black, Lady Jane in black, and my Lady Southdown with a large black
  • head-piece of bugles and feathers, which waved on her Ladyship's head
  • like an undertaker's tray.
  • Sir Pitt had judged correctly, that she would not quit the premises.
  • She contented herself by preserving a solemn and stony silence, when in
  • company of Pitt and his rebellious wife, and by frightening the
  • children in the nursery by the ghastly gloom of her demeanour. Only a
  • very faint bending of the head-dress and plumes welcomed Rawdon and his
  • wife, as those prodigals returned to their family.
  • To say the truth, they were not affected very much one way or other by
  • this coolness. Her Ladyship was a person only of secondary
  • consideration in their minds just then--they were intent upon the
  • reception which the reigning brother and sister would afford them.
  • Pitt, with rather a heightened colour, went up and shook his brother by
  • the hand, and saluted Rebecca with a hand-shake and a very low bow.
  • But Lady Jane took both the hands of her sister-in-law and kissed her
  • affectionately. The embrace somehow brought tears into the eyes of the
  • little adventuress--which ornaments, as we know, she wore very seldom.
  • The artless mark of kindness and confidence touched and pleased her;
  • and Rawdon, encouraged by this demonstration on his sister's part,
  • twirled up his mustachios and took leave to salute Lady Jane with a
  • kiss, which caused her Ladyship to blush exceedingly.
  • "Dev'lish nice little woman, Lady Jane," was his verdict, when he and
  • his wife were together again. "Pitt's got fat, too, and is doing the
  • thing handsomely." "He can afford it," said Rebecca and agreed in her
  • husband's farther opinion "that the mother-in-law was a tremendous old
  • Guy--and that the sisters were rather well-looking young women."
  • They, too, had been summoned from school to attend the funeral
  • ceremonies. It seemed Sir Pitt Crawley, for the dignity of the house
  • and family, had thought right to have about the place as many persons
  • in black as could possibly be assembled. All the men and maids of the
  • house, the old women of the Alms House, whom the elder Sir Pitt had
  • cheated out of a great portion of their due, the parish clerk's family,
  • and the special retainers of both Hall and Rectory were habited in
  • sable; added to these, the undertaker's men, at least a score, with
  • crapes and hatbands, and who made goodly show when the great burying
  • show took place--but these are mute personages in our drama; and having
  • nothing to do or say, need occupy a very little space here.
  • With regard to her sisters-in-law Rebecca did not attempt to forget her
  • former position of Governess towards them, but recalled it frankly and
  • kindly, and asked them about their studies with great gravity, and told
  • them that she had thought of them many and many a day, and longed to
  • know of their welfare. In fact you would have supposed that ever since
  • she had left them she had not ceased to keep them uppermost in her
  • thoughts and to take the tenderest interest in their welfare. So
  • supposed Lady Crawley herself and her young sisters.
  • "She's hardly changed since eight years," said Miss Rosalind to Miss
  • Violet, as they were preparing for dinner.
  • "Those red-haired women look wonderfully well," replied the other.
  • "Hers is much darker than it was; I think she must dye it," Miss
  • Rosalind added. "She is stouter, too, and altogether improved,"
  • continued Miss Rosalind, who was disposed to be very fat.
  • "At least she gives herself no airs and remembers that she was our
  • Governess once," Miss Violet said, intimating that it befitted all
  • governesses to keep their proper place, and forgetting altogether that
  • she was granddaughter not only of Sir Walpole Crawley, but of Mr.
  • Dawson of Mudbury, and so had a coal-scuttle in her scutcheon. There
  • are other very well-meaning people whom one meets every day in Vanity
  • Fair who are surely equally oblivious.
  • "It can't be true what the girls at the Rectory said, that her mother
  • was an opera-dancer--"
  • "A person can't help their birth," Rosalind replied with great
  • liberality. "And I agree with our brother, that as she is in the
  • family, of course we are bound to notice her. I am sure Aunt Bute need
  • not talk; she wants to marry Kate to young Hooper, the wine-merchant,
  • and absolutely asked him to come to the Rectory for orders."
  • "I wonder whether Lady Southdown will go away, she looked very glum
  • upon Mrs. Rawdon," the other said.
  • "I wish she would. I won't read the Washerwoman of Finchley Common,"
  • vowed Violet; and so saying, and avoiding a passage at the end of which
  • a certain coffin was placed with a couple of watchers, and lights
  • perpetually burning in the closed room, these young women came down to
  • the family dinner, for which the bell rang as usual.
  • But before this, Lady Jane conducted Rebecca to the apartments prepared
  • for her, which, with the rest of the house, had assumed a very much
  • improved appearance of order and comfort during Pitt's regency, and
  • here beholding that Mrs. Rawdon's modest little trunks had arrived, and
  • were placed in the bedroom and dressing-room adjoining, helped her to
  • take off her neat black bonnet and cloak, and asked her sister-in-law
  • in what more she could be useful.
  • "What I should like best," said Rebecca, "would be to go to the nursery
  • and see your dear little children." On which the two ladies looked very
  • kindly at each other and went to that apartment hand in hand.
  • Becky admired little Matilda, who was not quite four years old, as the
  • most charming little love in the world; and the boy, a little fellow of
  • two years--pale, heavy-eyed, and large-headed--she pronounced to be a
  • perfect prodigy in point of size, intelligence, and beauty.
  • "I wish Mamma would not insist on giving him so much medicine," Lady
  • Jane said with a sigh. "I often think we should all be better without
  • it." And then Lady Jane and her new-found friend had one of those
  • confidential medical conversations about the children, which all
  • mothers, and most women, as I am given to understand, delight in. Fifty
  • years ago, and when the present writer, being an interesting little
  • boy, was ordered out of the room with the ladies after dinner, I
  • remember quite well that their talk was chiefly about their ailments;
  • and putting this question directly to two or three since, I have always
  • got from them the acknowledgement that times are not changed. Let my
  • fair readers remark for themselves this very evening when they quit the
  • dessert-table and assemble to celebrate the drawing-room mysteries.
  • Well--in half an hour Becky and Lady Jane were close and intimate
  • friends--and in the course of the evening her Ladyship informed Sir
  • Pitt that she thought her new sister-in-law was a kind, frank,
  • unaffected, and affectionate young woman.
  • And so having easily won the daughter's good-will, the indefatigable
  • little woman bent herself to conciliate the august Lady Southdown. As
  • soon as she found her Ladyship alone, Rebecca attacked her on the
  • nursery question at once and said that her own little boy was saved,
  • actually saved, by calomel, freely administered, when all the
  • physicians in Paris had given the dear child up. And then she
  • mentioned how often she had heard of Lady Southdown from that excellent
  • man the Reverend Lawrence Grills, Minister of the chapel in May Fair,
  • which she frequented; and how her views were very much changed by
  • circumstances and misfortunes; and how she hoped that a past life spent
  • in worldliness and error might not incapacitate her from more serious
  • thought for the future. She described how in former days she had been
  • indebted to Mr. Crawley for religious instruction, touched upon the
  • Washerwoman of Finchley Common, which she had read with the greatest
  • profit, and asked about Lady Emily, its gifted author, now Lady Emily
  • Hornblower, at Cape Town, where her husband had strong hopes of
  • becoming Bishop of Caffraria.
  • But she crowned all, and confirmed herself in Lady Southdown's favour,
  • by feeling very much agitated and unwell after the funeral and
  • requesting her Ladyship's medical advice, which the Dowager not only
  • gave, but, wrapped up in a bed-gown and looking more like Lady Macbeth
  • than ever, came privately in the night to Becky's room with a parcel of
  • favourite tracts, and a medicine of her own composition, which she
  • insisted that Mrs. Rawdon should take.
  • Becky first accepted the tracts and began to examine them with great
  • interest, engaging the Dowager in a conversation concerning them and
  • the welfare of her soul, by which means she hoped that her body might
  • escape medication. But after the religious topics were exhausted, Lady
  • Macbeth would not quit Becky's chamber until her cup of night-drink was
  • emptied too; and poor Mrs. Rawdon was compelled actually to assume a
  • look of gratitude, and to swallow the medicine under the unyielding old
  • Dowager's nose, who left her victim finally with a benediction.
  • It did not much comfort Mrs. Rawdon; her countenance was very queer
  • when Rawdon came in and heard what had happened; and his explosions
  • of laughter were as loud as usual, when Becky, with a fun which she
  • could not disguise, even though it was at her own expense, described
  • the occurrence and how she had been victimized by Lady Southdown. Lord
  • Steyne, and her son in London, had many a laugh over the story when
  • Rawdon and his wife returned to their quarters in May Fair. Becky
  • acted the whole scene for them. She put on a night-cap and gown. She
  • preached a great sermon in the true serious manner; she lectured on the
  • virtue of the medicine which she pretended to administer, with a
  • gravity of imitation so perfect that you would have thought it was the
  • Countess's own Roman nose through which she snuffled. "Give us Lady
  • Southdown and the black dose," was a constant cry amongst the folks in
  • Becky's little drawing-room in May Fair. And for the first time in her
  • life the Dowager Countess of Southdown was made amusing.
  • Sir Pitt remembered the testimonies of respect and veneration which
  • Rebecca had paid personally to himself in early days, and was tolerably
  • well disposed towards her. The marriage, ill-advised as it was, had
  • improved Rawdon very much--that was clear from the Colonel's altered
  • habits and demeanour--and had it not been a lucky union as regarded
  • Pitt himself? The cunning diplomatist smiled inwardly as he owned that
  • he owed his fortune to it, and acknowledged that he at least ought not
  • to cry out against it. His satisfaction was not removed by Rebecca's
  • own statements, behaviour, and conversation.
  • She doubled the deference which before had charmed him, calling out his
  • conversational powers in such a manner as quite to surprise Pitt
  • himself, who, always inclined to respect his own talents, admired them
  • the more when Rebecca pointed them out to him. With her sister-in-law,
  • Rebecca was satisfactorily able to prove that it was Mrs. Bute Crawley
  • who brought about the marriage which she afterwards so calumniated;
  • that it was Mrs. Bute's avarice--who hoped to gain all Miss Crawley's
  • fortune and deprive Rawdon of his aunt's favour--which caused and
  • invented all the wicked reports against Rebecca. "She succeeded in
  • making us poor," Rebecca said with an air of angelical patience; "but
  • how can I be angry with a woman who has given me one of the best
  • husbands in the world? And has not her own avarice been sufficiently
  • punished by the ruin of her own hopes and the loss of the property by
  • which she set so much store? Poor!" she cried. "Dear Lady Jane, what
  • care we for poverty? I am used to it from childhood, and I am often
  • thankful that Miss Crawley's money has gone to restore the splendour of
  • the noble old family of which I am so proud to be a member. I am sure
  • Sir Pitt will make a much better use of it than Rawdon would."
  • All these speeches were reported to Sir Pitt by the most faithful of
  • wives, and increased the favourable impression which Rebecca made; so
  • much so that when, on the third day after the funeral, the family party
  • were at dinner, Sir Pitt Crawley, carving fowls at the head of the
  • table, actually said to Mrs. Rawdon, "Ahem! Rebecca, may I give you a
  • wing?"--a speech which made the little woman's eyes sparkle with
  • pleasure.
  • While Rebecca was prosecuting the above schemes and hopes, and Pitt
  • Crawley arranging the funeral ceremonial and other matters connected
  • with his future progress and dignity, and Lady Jane busy with her
  • nursery, as far as her mother would let her, and the sun rising and
  • setting, and the clock-tower bell of the Hall ringing to dinner and to
  • prayers as usual, the body of the late owner of Queen's Crawley lay in
  • the apartment which he had occupied, watched unceasingly by the
  • professional attendants who were engaged for that rite. A woman or
  • two, and three or four undertaker's men, the best whom Southampton
  • could furnish, dressed in black, and of a proper stealthy and tragical
  • demeanour, had charge of the remains which they watched turn about,
  • having the housekeeper's room for their place of rendezvous when off
  • duty, where they played at cards in privacy and drank their beer.
  • The members of the family and servants of the house kept away from the
  • gloomy spot, where the bones of the descendant of an ancient line of
  • knights and gentlemen lay, awaiting their final consignment to the
  • family crypt. No regrets attended them, save those of the poor woman
  • who had hoped to be Sir Pitt's wife and widow and who had fled in
  • disgrace from the Hall over which she had so nearly been a ruler.
  • Beyond her and a favourite old pointer he had, and between whom and
  • himself an attachment subsisted during the period of his imbecility,
  • the old man had not a single friend to mourn him, having indeed, during
  • the whole course of his life, never taken the least pains to secure
  • one. Could the best and kindest of us who depart from the earth have
  • an opportunity of revisiting it, I suppose he or she (assuming that any
  • Vanity Fair feelings subsist in the sphere whither we are bound) would
  • have a pang of mortification at finding how soon our survivors were
  • consoled. And so Sir Pitt was forgotten--like the kindest and best of
  • us--only a few weeks sooner.
  • Those who will may follow his remains to the grave, whither they were
  • borne on the appointed day, in the most becoming manner, the family in
  • black coaches, with their handkerchiefs up to their noses, ready for
  • the tears which did not come; the undertaker and his gentlemen in deep
  • tribulation; the select tenantry mourning out of compliment to the new
  • landlord; the neighbouring gentry's carriages at three miles an hour,
  • empty, and in profound affliction; the parson speaking out the formula
  • about "our dear brother departed." As long as we have a man's body, we
  • play our Vanities upon it, surrounding it with humbug and ceremonies,
  • laying it in state, and packing it up in gilt nails and velvet; and we
  • finish our duty by placing over it a stone, written all over with lies.
  • Bute's curate, a smart young fellow from Oxford, and Sir Pitt Crawley
  • composed between them an appropriate Latin epitaph for the late
  • lamented Baronet, and the former preached a classical sermon, exhorting
  • the survivors not to give way to grief and informing them in the most
  • respectful terms that they also would be one day called upon to pass
  • that gloomy and mysterious portal which had just closed upon the
  • remains of their lamented brother. Then the tenantry mounted on
  • horseback again, or stayed and refreshed themselves at the Crawley
  • Arms. Then, after a lunch in the servants' hall at Queen's Crawley,
  • the gentry's carriages wheeled off to their different destinations:
  • then the undertaker's men, taking the ropes, palls, velvets, ostrich
  • feathers, and other mortuary properties, clambered up on the roof of
  • the hearse and rode off to Southampton. Their faces relapsed into a
  • natural expression as the horses, clearing the lodge-gates, got into a
  • brisker trot on the open road; and squads of them might have been seen,
  • speckling with black the public-house entrances, with pewter-pots
  • flashing in the sunshine. Sir Pitt's invalid chair was wheeled away
  • into a tool-house in the garden; the old pointer used to howl sometimes
  • at first, but these were the only accents of grief which were heard in
  • the Hall of which Sir Pitt Crawley, Baronet, had been master for some
  • threescore years.
  • As the birds were pretty plentiful, and partridge shooting is as it
  • were the duty of an English gentleman of statesmanlike propensities,
  • Sir Pitt Crawley, the first shock of grief over, went out a little and
  • partook of that diversion in a white hat with crape round it. The sight
  • of those fields of stubble and turnips, now his own, gave him many
  • secret joys. Sometimes, and with an exquisite humility, he took no
  • gun, but went out with a peaceful bamboo cane; Rawdon, his big brother,
  • and the keepers blazing away at his side. Pitt's money and acres had a
  • great effect upon his brother. The penniless Colonel became quite
  • obsequious and respectful to the head of his house, and despised the
  • milksop Pitt no longer. Rawdon listened with sympathy to his senior's
  • prospects of planting and draining, gave his advice about the stables
  • and cattle, rode over to Mudbury to look at a mare, which he thought
  • would carry Lady Jane, and offered to break her, &c.: the rebellious
  • dragoon was quite humbled and subdued, and became a most creditable
  • younger brother. He had constant bulletins from Miss Briggs in London
  • respecting little Rawdon, who was left behind there, who sent messages
  • of his own. "I am very well," he wrote. "I hope you are very well. I
  • hope Mamma is very well. The pony is very well. Grey takes me to ride
  • in the park. I can canter. I met the little boy who rode before. He
  • cried when he cantered. I do not cry." Rawdon read these letters to
  • his brother and Lady Jane, who was delighted with them. The Baronet
  • promised to take charge of the lad at school, and his kind-hearted wife
  • gave Rebecca a bank-note, begging her to buy a present with it for her
  • little nephew.
  • One day followed another, and the ladies of the house passed their life
  • in those calm pursuits and amusements which satisfy country ladies.
  • Bells rang to meals and to prayers. The young ladies took exercise on
  • the pianoforte every morning after breakfast, Rebecca giving them the
  • benefit of her instruction. Then they put on thick shoes and walked in
  • the park or shrubberies, or beyond the palings into the village,
  • descending upon the cottages, with Lady Southdown's medicine and tracts
  • for the sick people there. Lady Southdown drove out in a pony-chaise,
  • when Rebecca would take her place by the Dowager's side and listen to
  • her solemn talk with the utmost interest. She sang Handel and Haydn to
  • the family of evenings, and engaged in a large piece of worsted work,
  • as if she had been born to the business and as if this kind of life was
  • to continue with her until she should sink to the grave in a polite old
  • age, leaving regrets and a great quantity of consols behind her--as if
  • there were not cares and duns, schemes, shifts, and poverty waiting
  • outside the park gates, to pounce upon her when she issued into the
  • world again.
  • "It isn't difficult to be a country gentleman's wife," Rebecca thought.
  • "I think I could be a good woman if I had five thousand a year. I
  • could dawdle about in the nursery and count the apricots on the wall.
  • I could water plants in a green-house and pick off dead leaves from the
  • geraniums. I could ask old women about their rheumatisms and order
  • half-a-crown's worth of soup for the poor. I shouldn't miss it much,
  • out of five thousand a year. I could even drive out ten miles to dine
  • at a neighbour's, and dress in the fashions of the year before last. I
  • could go to church and keep awake in the great family pew, or go to
  • sleep behind the curtains, with my veil down, if I only had practice.
  • I could pay everybody, if I had but the money. This is what the
  • conjurors here pride themselves upon doing. They look down with pity
  • upon us miserable sinners who have none. They think themselves
  • generous if they give our children a five-pound note, and us
  • contemptible if we are without one." And who knows but Rebecca was
  • right in her speculations--and that it was only a question of money and
  • fortune which made the difference between her and an honest woman? If
  • you take temptations into account, who is to say that he is better than
  • his neighbour? A comfortable career of prosperity, if it does not make
  • people honest, at least keeps them so. An alderman coming from a
  • turtle feast will not step out of his carriage to steal a leg of mutton;
  • but put him to starve, and see if he will not purloin a loaf. Becky
  • consoled herself by so balancing the chances and equalizing the
  • distribution of good and evil in the world.
  • The old haunts, the old fields and woods, the copses, ponds, and
  • gardens, the rooms of the old house where she had spent a couple of
  • years seven years ago, were all carefully revisited by her. She had
  • been young there, or comparatively so, for she forgot the time when she
  • ever WAS young--but she remembered her thoughts and feelings seven
  • years back and contrasted them with those which she had at present, now
  • that she had seen the world, and lived with great people, and raised
  • herself far beyond her original humble station.
  • "I have passed beyond it, because I have brains," Becky thought, "and
  • almost all the rest of the world are fools. I could not go back and
  • consort with those people now, whom I used to meet in my father's
  • studio. Lords come up to my door with stars and garters, instead of
  • poor artists with screws of tobacco in their pockets. I have a
  • gentleman for my husband, and an Earl's daughter for my sister, in the
  • very house where I was little better than a servant a few years ago.
  • But am I much better to do now in the world than I was when I was the
  • poor painter's daughter and wheedled the grocer round the corner for
  • sugar and tea? Suppose I had married Francis who was so fond of me--I
  • couldn't have been much poorer than I am now. Heigho! I wish I could
  • exchange my position in society, and all my relations for a snug sum in
  • the Three Per Cent. Consols"; for so it was that Becky felt the Vanity
  • of human affairs, and it was in those securities that she would have
  • liked to cast anchor.
  • It may, perhaps, have struck her that to have been honest and humble,
  • to have done her duty, and to have marched straightforward on her way,
  • would have brought her as near happiness as that path by which she was
  • striving to attain it. But--just as the children at Queen's Crawley
  • went round the room where the body of their father lay--if ever Becky
  • had these thoughts, she was accustomed to walk round them and not look
  • in. She eluded them and despised them--or at least she was committed
  • to the other path from which retreat was now impossible. And for my
  • part I believe that remorse is the least active of all a man's moral
  • senses--the very easiest to be deadened when wakened, and in some never
  • wakened at all. We grieve at being found out and at the idea of shame
  • or punishment, but the mere sense of wrong makes very few people
  • unhappy in Vanity Fair.
  • So Rebecca, during her stay at Queen's Crawley, made as many friends of
  • the Mammon of Unrighteousness as she could possibly bring under
  • control. Lady Jane and her husband bade her farewell with the warmest
  • demonstrations of good-will. They looked forward with pleasure to the
  • time when, the family house in Gaunt Street being repaired and
  • beautified, they were to meet again in London. Lady Southdown made her
  • up a packet of medicine and sent a letter by her to the Rev. Lawrence
  • Grills, exhorting that gentleman to save the brand who "honoured" the
  • letter from the burning. Pitt accompanied them with four horses in the
  • carriage to Mudbury, having sent on their baggage in a cart previously,
  • accompanied with loads of game.
  • "How happy you will be to see your darling little boy again!" Lady
  • Crawley said, taking leave of her kinswoman.
  • "Oh so happy!" said Rebecca, throwing up the green eyes. She was
  • immensely happy to be free of the place, and yet loath to go. Queen's
  • Crawley was abominably stupid, and yet the air there was somehow purer
  • than that which she had been accustomed to breathe. Everybody had been
  • dull, but had been kind in their way. "It is all the influence of a
  • long course of Three Per Cents," Becky said to herself, and was right
  • very likely.
  • However, the London lamps flashed joyfully as the stage rolled into
  • Piccadilly, and Briggs had made a beautiful fire in Curzon Street, and
  • little Rawdon was up to welcome back his papa and mamma.
  • CHAPTER XLII
  • Which Treats of the Osborne Family
  • Considerable time has elapsed since we have seen our respectable
  • friend, old Mr. Osborne of Russell Square. He has not been the
  • happiest of mortals since last we met him. Events have occurred which
  • have not improved his temper, and in more instances than one he has
  • not been allowed to have his own way. To be thwarted in this
  • reasonable desire was always very injurious to the old gentleman; and
  • resistance became doubly exasperating when gout, age, loneliness, and
  • the force of many disappointments combined to weigh him down. His
  • stiff black hair began to grow quite white soon after his son's death;
  • his face grew redder; his hands trembled more and more as he poured out
  • his glass of port wine. He led his clerks a dire life in the City:
  • his family at home were not much happier. I doubt if Rebecca, whom we
  • have seen piously praying for Consols, would have exchanged her poverty
  • and the dare-devil excitement and chances of her life for Osborne's
  • money and the humdrum gloom which enveloped him. He had proposed for
  • Miss Swartz, but had been rejected scornfully by the partisans of that
  • lady, who married her to a young sprig of Scotch nobility. He was a
  • man to have married a woman out of low life and bullied her dreadfully
  • afterwards; but no person presented herself suitable to his taste, and,
  • instead, he tyrannized over his unmarried daughter, at home. She had a
  • fine carriage and fine horses and sat at the head of a table loaded
  • with the grandest plate. She had a cheque-book, a prize footman to
  • follow her when she walked, unlimited credit, and bows and compliments
  • from all the tradesmen, and all the appurtenances of an heiress; but
  • she spent a woeful time. The little charity-girls at the Foundling, the
  • sweeperess at the crossing, the poorest under-kitchen-maid in the
  • servants' hall, was happy compared to that unfortunate and now
  • middle-aged young lady.
  • Frederick Bullock, Esq., of the house of Bullock, Hulker, and Bullock,
  • had married Maria Osborne, not without a great deal of difficulty and
  • grumbling on Mr. Bullock's part. George being dead and cut out of his
  • father's will, Frederick insisted that the half of the old gentleman's
  • property should be settled upon his Maria, and indeed, for a long time,
  • refused, "to come to the scratch" (it was Mr. Frederick's own
  • expression) on any other terms. Osborne said Fred had agreed to take
  • his daughter with twenty thousand, and he should bind himself to no
  • more. "Fred might take it, and welcome, or leave it, and go and be
  • hanged." Fred, whose hopes had been raised when George had been
  • disinherited, thought himself infamously swindled by the old merchant,
  • and for some time made as if he would break off the match altogether.
  • Osborne withdrew his account from Bullock and Hulker's, went on 'Change
  • with a horsewhip which he swore he would lay across the back of a
  • certain scoundrel that should be nameless, and demeaned himself in his
  • usual violent manner. Jane Osborne condoled with her sister Maria
  • during this family feud. "I always told you, Maria, that it was your
  • money he loved and not you," she said, soothingly.
  • "He selected me and my money at any rate; he didn't choose you and
  • yours," replied Maria, tossing up her head.
  • The rapture was, however, only temporary. Fred's father and senior
  • partners counselled him to take Maria, even with the twenty thousand
  • settled, half down, and half at the death of Mr. Osborne, with the
  • chances of the further division of the property. So he "knuckled
  • down," again to use his own phrase, and sent old Hulker with peaceable
  • overtures to Osborne. It was his father, he said, who would not hear
  • of the match, and had made the difficulties; he was most anxious to
  • keep the engagement. The excuse was sulkily accepted by Mr. Osborne.
  • Hulker and Bullock were a high family of the City aristocracy, and
  • connected with the "nobs" at the West End. It was something for the old
  • man to be able to say, "My son, sir, of the house of Hulker, Bullock,
  • and Co., sir; my daughter's cousin, Lady Mary Mango, sir, daughter of
  • the Right Hon. The Earl of Castlemouldy." In his imagination he saw
  • his house peopled by the "nobs." So he forgave young Bullock and
  • consented that the marriage should take place.
  • It was a grand affair--the bridegroom's relatives giving the breakfast,
  • their habitations being near St. George's, Hanover Square, where the
  • business took place. The "nobs of the West End" were invited, and many
  • of them signed the book. Mr. Mango and Lady Mary Mango were there,
  • with the dear young Gwendoline and Guinever Mango as bridesmaids;
  • Colonel Bludyer of the Dragoon Guards (eldest son of the house of
  • Bludyer Brothers, Mincing Lane), another cousin of the bridegroom, and
  • the Honourable Mrs. Bludyer; the Honourable George Boulter, Lord
  • Levant's son, and his lady, Miss Mango that was; Lord Viscount
  • Castletoddy; Honourable James McMull and Mrs. McMull (formerly Miss
  • Swartz); and a host of fashionables, who have all married into Lombard
  • Street and done a great deal to ennoble Cornhill.
  • The young couple had a house near Berkeley Square and a small villa at
  • Roehampton, among the banking colony there. Fred was considered to
  • have made rather a mesalliance by the ladies of his family, whose
  • grandfather had been in a Charity School, and who were allied through
  • the husbands with some of the best blood in England. And Maria was
  • bound, by superior pride and great care in the composition of her
  • visiting-book, to make up for the defects of birth, and felt it her
  • duty to see her father and sister as little as possible.
  • That she should utterly break with the old man, who had still so many
  • scores of thousand pounds to give away, is absurd to suppose. Fred
  • Bullock would never allow her to do that. But she was still young and
  • incapable of hiding her feelings; and by inviting her papa and sister
  • to her third-rate parties, and behaving very coldly to them when they
  • came, and by avoiding Russell Square, and indiscreetly begging her
  • father to quit that odious vulgar place, she did more harm than all
  • Frederick's diplomacy could repair, and perilled her chance of her
  • inheritance like a giddy heedless creature as she was.
  • "So Russell Square is not good enough for Mrs. Maria, hay?" said the
  • old gentleman, rattling up the carriage windows as he and his daughter
  • drove away one night from Mrs. Frederick Bullock's, after dinner. "So
  • she invites her father and sister to a second day's dinner (if those
  • sides, or ontrys, as she calls 'em, weren't served yesterday, I'm
  • d--d), and to meet City folks and littery men, and keeps the Earls and
  • the Ladies, and the Honourables to herself. Honourables? Damn
  • Honourables. I am a plain British merchant I am, and could buy the
  • beggarly hounds over and over. Lords, indeed!--why, at one of her
  • swarreys I saw one of 'em speak to a dam fiddler--a fellar I despise.
  • And they won't come to Russell Square, won't they? Why, I'll lay my
  • life I've got a better glass of wine, and pay a better figure for it,
  • and can show a handsomer service of silver, and can lay a better dinner
  • on my mahogany, than ever they see on theirs--the cringing, sneaking,
  • stuck-up fools. Drive on quick, James: I want to get back to Russell
  • Square--ha, ha!" and he sank back into the corner with a furious laugh.
  • With such reflections on his own superior merit, it was the custom of
  • the old gentleman not unfrequently to console himself.
  • Jane Osborne could not but concur in these opinions respecting her
  • sister's conduct; and when Mrs. Frederick's first-born, Frederick
  • Augustus Howard Stanley Devereux Bullock, was born, old Osborne, who
  • was invited to the christening and to be godfather, contented himself
  • with sending the child a gold cup, with twenty guineas inside it for
  • the nurse. "That's more than any of your Lords will give, I'LL
  • warrant," he said and refused to attend at the ceremony.
  • The splendour of the gift, however, caused great satisfaction to the
  • house of Bullock. Maria thought that her father was very much pleased
  • with her, and Frederick augured the best for his little son and heir.
  • One can fancy the pangs with which Miss Osborne in her solitude in
  • Russell Square read the Morning Post, where her sister's name occurred
  • every now and then, in the articles headed "Fashionable Reunions," and
  • where she had an opportunity of reading a description of Mrs. F.
  • Bullock's costume, when presented at the drawing room by Lady Frederica
  • Bullock. Jane's own life, as we have said, admitted of no such
  • grandeur. It was an awful existence. She had to get up of black
  • winter's mornings to make breakfast for her scowling old father, who
  • would have turned the whole house out of doors if his tea had not been
  • ready at half-past eight. She remained silent opposite to him,
  • listening to the urn hissing, and sitting in tremor while the parent
  • read his paper and consumed his accustomed portion of muffins and tea.
  • At half-past nine he rose and went to the City, and she was almost free
  • till dinner-time, to make visitations in the kitchen and to scold the
  • servants; to drive abroad and descend upon the tradesmen, who were
  • prodigiously respectful; to leave her cards and her papa's at the great
  • glum respectable houses of their City friends; or to sit alone in the
  • large drawing-room, expecting visitors; and working at a huge piece of
  • worsted by the fire, on the sofa, hard by the great Iphigenia clock,
  • which ticked and tolled with mournful loudness in the dreary room. The
  • great glass over the mantelpiece, faced by the other great console
  • glass at the opposite end of the room, increased and multiplied between
  • them the brown Holland bag in which the chandelier hung, until you saw
  • these brown Holland bags fading away in endless perspectives, and this
  • apartment of Miss Osborne's seemed the centre of a system of
  • drawing-rooms. When she removed the cordovan leather from the grand
  • piano and ventured to play a few notes on it, it sounded with a
  • mournful sadness, startling the dismal echoes of the house. George's
  • picture was gone, and laid upstairs in a lumber-room in the garret; and
  • though there was a consciousness of him, and father and daughter often
  • instinctively knew that they were thinking of him, no mention was ever
  • made of the brave and once darling son.
  • At five o'clock Mr. Osborne came back to his dinner, which he and his
  • daughter took in silence (seldom broken, except when he swore and was
  • savage, if the cooking was not to his liking), or which they shared
  • twice in a month with a party of dismal friends of Osborne's rank and
  • age. Old Dr. Gulp and his lady from Bloomsbury Square; old Mr.
  • Frowser, the attorney, from Bedford Row, a very great man, and from his
  • business, hand-in-glove with the "nobs at the West End"; old Colonel
  • Livermore, of the Bombay Army, and Mrs. Livermore, from Upper Bedford
  • Place; old Sergeant Toffy and Mrs. Toffy; and sometimes old Sir Thomas
  • Coffin and Lady Coffin, from Bedford Square. Sir Thomas was celebrated
  • as a hanging judge, and the particular tawny port was produced when he
  • dined with Mr. Osborne.
  • These people and their like gave the pompous Russell Square merchant
  • pompous dinners back again. They had solemn rubbers of whist, when
  • they went upstairs after drinking, and their carriages were called at
  • half past ten. Many rich people, whom we poor devils are in the habit
  • of envying, lead contentedly an existence like that above described.
  • Jane Osborne scarcely ever met a man under sixty, and almost the only
  • bachelor who appeared in their society was Mr. Smirk, the celebrated
  • ladies' doctor.
  • I can't say that nothing had occurred to disturb the monotony of this
  • awful existence: the fact is, there had been a secret in poor Jane's
  • life which had made her father more savage and morose than even nature,
  • pride, and over-feeding had made him. This secret was connected with
  • Miss Wirt, who had a cousin an artist, Mr. Smee, very celebrated since
  • as a portrait-painter and R.A., but who once was glad enough to give
  • drawing lessons to ladies of fashion. Mr. Smee has forgotten where
  • Russell Square is now, but he was glad enough to visit it in the year
  • 1818, when Miss Osborne had instruction from him.
  • Smee (formerly a pupil of Sharpe of Frith Street, a dissolute,
  • irregular, and unsuccessful man, but a man with great knowledge of his
  • art) being the cousin of Miss Wirt, we say, and introduced by her to
  • Miss Osborne, whose hand and heart were still free after various
  • incomplete love affairs, felt a great attachment for this lady, and it
  • is believed inspired one in her bosom. Miss Wirt was the confidante of
  • this intrigue. I know not whether she used to leave the room where the
  • master and his pupil were painting, in order to give them an
  • opportunity for exchanging those vows and sentiments which cannot be
  • uttered advantageously in the presence of a third party; I know not
  • whether she hoped that should her cousin succeed in carrying off the
  • rich merchant's daughter, he would give Miss Wirt a portion of the
  • wealth which she had enabled him to win--all that is certain is that
  • Mr. Osborne got some hint of the transaction, came back from the City
  • abruptly, and entered the drawing-room with his bamboo cane; found the
  • painter, the pupil, and the companion all looking exceedingly pale
  • there; turned the former out of doors with menaces that he would break
  • every bone in his skin, and half an hour afterwards dismissed Miss Wirt
  • likewise, kicking her trunks down the stairs, trampling on her
  • bandboxes, and shaking his fist at her hackney coach as it bore her
  • away.
  • Jane Osborne kept her bedroom for many days. She was not allowed to
  • have a companion afterwards. Her father swore to her that she should
  • not have a shilling of his money if she made any match without his
  • concurrence; and as he wanted a woman to keep his house, he did not
  • choose that she should marry, so that she was obliged to give up all
  • projects with which Cupid had any share. During her papa's life, then,
  • she resigned herself to the manner of existence here described, and was
  • content to be an old maid. Her sister, meanwhile, was having children
  • with finer names every year and the intercourse between the two grew
  • fainter continually. "Jane and I do not move in the same sphere of
  • life," Mrs. Bullock said. "I regard her as a sister, of course"--which
  • means--what does it mean when a lady says that she regards Jane as a
  • sister?
  • It has been described how the Misses Dobbin lived with their father at
  • a fine villa at Denmark Hill, where there were beautiful graperies and
  • peach-trees which delighted little Georgy Osborne. The Misses Dobbin,
  • who drove often to Brompton to see our dear Amelia, came sometimes to
  • Russell Square too, to pay a visit to their old acquaintance Miss
  • Osborne. I believe it was in consequence of the commands of their
  • brother the Major in India (for whom their papa had a prodigious
  • respect), that they paid attention to Mrs. George; for the Major, the
  • godfather and guardian of Amelia's little boy, still hoped that the
  • child's grandfather might be induced to relent towards him and
  • acknowledge him for the sake of his son. The Misses Dobbin kept Miss
  • Osborne acquainted with the state of Amelia's affairs; how she was
  • living with her father and mother; how poor they were; how they
  • wondered what men, and such men as their brother and dear Captain
  • Osborne, could find in such an insignificant little chit; how she was
  • still, as heretofore, a namby-pamby milk-and-water affected
  • creature--but how the boy was really the noblest little boy ever
  • seen--for the hearts of all women warm towards young children, and the
  • sourest spinster is kind to them.
  • One day, after great entreaties on the part of the Misses Dobbin,
  • Amelia allowed little George to go and pass a day with them at Denmark
  • Hill--a part of which day she spent herself in writing to the Major in
  • India. She congratulated him on the happy news which his sisters had
  • just conveyed to her. She prayed for his prosperity and that of the
  • bride he had chosen. She thanked him for a thousand thousand kind
  • offices and proofs of steadfast friendship to her in her affliction.
  • She told him the last news about little Georgy, and how he was gone to
  • spend that very day with his sisters in the country. She underlined
  • the letter a great deal, and she signed herself affectionately his
  • friend, Amelia Osborne. She forgot to send any message of kindness to
  • Lady O'Dowd, as her wont was--and did not mention Glorvina by name, and
  • only in italics, as the Major's BRIDE, for whom she begged blessings.
  • But the news of the marriage removed the reserve which she had kept up
  • towards him. She was glad to be able to own and feel how warmly and
  • gratefully she regarded him--and as for the idea of being jealous of
  • Glorvina (Glorvina, indeed!), Amelia would have scouted it, if an angel
  • from heaven had hinted it to her. That night, when Georgy came back in
  • the pony-carriage in which he rejoiced, and in which he was driven by
  • Sir Wm. Dobbin's old coachman, he had round his neck a fine gold chain
  • and watch. He said an old lady, not pretty, had given it him, who
  • cried and kissed him a great deal. But he didn't like her. He liked
  • grapes very much. And he only liked his mamma. Amelia shrank and
  • started; the timid soul felt a presentiment of terror when she heard
  • that the relations of the child's father had seen him.
  • Miss Osborne came back to give her father his dinner. He had made a
  • good speculation in the City, and was rather in a good humour that day,
  • and chanced to remark the agitation under which she laboured. "What's
  • the matter, Miss Osborne?" he deigned to say.
  • The woman burst into tears. "Oh, sir," she said, "I've seen little
  • George. He is as beautiful as an angel--and so like him!" The old man
  • opposite to her did not say a word, but flushed up and began to tremble
  • in every limb.
  • CHAPTER XLIII
  • In Which the Reader Has to Double the Cape
  • The astonished reader must be called upon to transport himself ten
  • thousand miles to the military station of Bundlegunge, in the Madras
  • division of our Indian empire, where our gallant old friends of the
  • --th regiment are quartered under the command of the brave Colonel, Sir
  • Michael O'Dowd. Time has dealt kindly with that stout officer, as it
  • does ordinarily with men who have good stomachs and good tempers and
  • are not perplexed over much by fatigue of the brain. The Colonel plays
  • a good knife and fork at tiffin and resumes those weapons with great
  • success at dinner. He smokes his hookah after both meals and puffs as
  • quietly while his wife scolds him as he did under the fire of the
  • French at Waterloo. Age and heat have not diminished the activity or
  • the eloquence of the descendant of the Malonys and the Molloys. Her
  • Ladyship, our old acquaintance, is as much at home at Madras as at
  • Brussels in the cantonment as under the tents. On the march you saw
  • her at the head of the regiment seated on a royal elephant, a noble
  • sight. Mounted on that beast, she has been into action with tigers in
  • the jungle, she has been received by native princes, who have welcomed
  • her and Glorvina into the recesses of their zenanas and offered her
  • shawls and jewels which it went to her heart to refuse. The sentries
  • of all arms salute her wherever she makes her appearance, and she
  • touches her hat gravely to their salutation. Lady O'Dowd is one of the
  • greatest ladies in the Presidency of Madras--her quarrel with Lady
  • Smith, wife of Sir Minos Smith the puisne judge, is still remembered by
  • some at Madras, when the Colonel's lady snapped her fingers in the
  • Judge's lady's face and said SHE'D never walk behind ever a beggarly
  • civilian. Even now, though it is five-and-twenty years ago, people
  • remember Lady O'Dowd performing a jig at Government House, where she
  • danced down two Aides-de-Camp, a Major of Madras cavalry, and two
  • gentlemen of the Civil Service; and, persuaded by Major Dobbin, C.B.,
  • second in command of the --th, to retire to the supper-room, lassata
  • nondum satiata recessit.
  • Peggy O'Dowd is indeed the same as ever, kind in act and thought;
  • impetuous in temper; eager to command; a tyrant over her Michael; a
  • dragon amongst all the ladies of the regiment; a mother to all the
  • young men, whom she tends in their sickness, defends in all their
  • scrapes, and with whom Lady Peggy is immensely popular. But the
  • Subalterns' and Captains' ladies (the Major is unmarried) cabal against
  • her a good deal. They say that Glorvina gives herself airs and that
  • Peggy herself is intolerably domineering. She interfered with a
  • little congregation which Mrs. Kirk had got up and laughed the young
  • men away from her sermons, stating that a soldier's wife had no
  • business to be a parson--that Mrs. Kirk would be much better mending
  • her husband's clothes; and, if the regiment wanted sermons, that she
  • had the finest in the world, those of her uncle, the Dean. She abruptly
  • put a termination to a flirtation which Lieutenant Stubble of the
  • regiment had commenced with the Surgeon's wife, threatening to come
  • down upon Stubble for the money which he had borrowed from her (for the
  • young fellow was still of an extravagant turn) unless he broke off at
  • once and went to the Cape on sick leave. On the other hand, she housed
  • and sheltered Mrs. Posky, who fled from her bungalow one night, pursued
  • by her infuriate husband, wielding his second brandy bottle, and
  • actually carried Posky through the delirium tremens and broke him of
  • the habit of drinking, which had grown upon that officer, as all evil
  • habits will grow upon men. In a word, in adversity she was the best of
  • comforters, in good fortune the most troublesome of friends, having a
  • perfectly good opinion of herself always and an indomitable resolution
  • to have her own way.
  • Among other points, she had made up her mind that Glorvina should marry
  • our old friend Dobbin. Mrs. O'Dowd knew the Major's expectations and
  • appreciated his good qualities and the high character which he enjoyed
  • in his profession. Glorvina, a very handsome, fresh-coloured,
  • black-haired, blue-eyed young lady, who could ride a horse, or play a
  • sonata with any girl out of the County Cork, seemed to be the very
  • person destined to insure Dobbin's happiness--much more than that poor
  • good little weak-spur'ted Amelia, about whom he used to take on
  • so.--"Look at Glorvina enter a room," Mrs. O'Dowd would say, "and
  • compare her with that poor Mrs. Osborne, who couldn't say boo to a
  • goose. She'd be worthy of you, Major--you're a quiet man yourself, and
  • want some one to talk for ye. And though she does not come of such
  • good blood as the Malonys or Molloys, let me tell ye, she's of an
  • ancient family that any nobleman might be proud to marry into."
  • But before she had come to such a resolution and determined to
  • subjugate Major Dobbin by her endearments, it must be owned that
  • Glorvina had practised them a good deal elsewhere. She had had a
  • season in Dublin, and who knows how many in Cork, Killarney, and
  • Mallow? She had flirted with all the marriageable officers whom the
  • depots of her country afforded, and all the bachelor squires who seemed
  • eligible. She had been engaged to be married a half-score times in
  • Ireland, besides the clergyman at Bath who used her so ill. She had
  • flirted all the way to Madras with the Captain and chief mate of the
  • Ramchunder East Indiaman, and had a season at the Presidency with her
  • brother and Mrs. O'Dowd, who was staying there, while the Major of the
  • regiment was in command at the station. Everybody admired her there;
  • everybody danced with her; but no one proposed who was worth the
  • marrying--one or two exceedingly young subalterns sighed after her, and
  • a beardless civilian or two, but she rejected these as beneath her
  • pretensions--and other and younger virgins than Glorvina were married
  • before her. There are women, and handsome women too, who have this
  • fortune in life. They fall in love with the utmost generosity; they
  • ride and walk with half the Army-list, though they draw near to forty,
  • and yet the Misses O'Grady are the Misses O'Grady still: Glorvina
  • persisted that but for Lady O'Dowd's unlucky quarrel with the Judge's
  • lady, she would have made a good match at Madras, where old Mr.
  • Chutney, who was at the head of the civil service (and who afterwards
  • married Miss Dolby, a young lady only thirteen years of age who had
  • just arrived from school in Europe), was just at the point of proposing
  • to her.
  • Well, although Lady O'Dowd and Glorvina quarrelled a great number of
  • times every day, and upon almost every conceivable subject--indeed, if
  • Mick O'Dowd had not possessed the temper of an angel two such women
  • constantly about his ears would have driven him out of his senses--yet
  • they agreed between themselves on this point, that Glorvina should
  • marry Major Dobbin, and were determined that the Major should have no
  • rest until the arrangement was brought about. Undismayed by forty or
  • fifty previous defeats, Glorvina laid siege to him. She sang Irish
  • melodies at him unceasingly. She asked him so frequently and
  • pathetically, Will ye come to the bower? that it is a wonder how any
  • man of feeling could have resisted the invitation. She was never tired
  • of inquiring, if Sorrow had his young days faded, and was ready to
  • listen and weep like Desdemona at the stories of his dangers and his
  • campaigns. It has been said that our honest and dear old friend used
  • to perform on the flute in private; Glorvina insisted upon having duets
  • with him, and Lady O'Dowd would rise and artlessly quit the room when
  • the young couple were so engaged. Glorvina forced the Major to ride
  • with her of mornings. The whole cantonment saw them set out and
  • return. She was constantly writing notes over to him at his house,
  • borrowing his books, and scoring with her great pencil-marks such
  • passages of sentiment or humour as awakened her sympathy. She borrowed
  • his horses, his servants, his spoons, and palanquin--no wonder that
  • public rumour assigned her to him, and that the Major's sisters in
  • England should fancy they were about to have a sister-in-law.
  • Dobbin, who was thus vigorously besieged, was in the meanwhile in a
  • state of the most odious tranquillity. He used to laugh when the young
  • fellows of the regiment joked him about Glorvina's manifest attentions
  • to him. "Bah!" said he, "she is only keeping her hand in--she
  • practises upon me as she does upon Mrs. Tozer's piano, because it's the
  • most handy instrument in the station. I am much too battered and old
  • for such a fine young lady as Glorvina." And so he went on riding with
  • her, and copying music and verses into her albums, and playing at chess
  • with her very submissively; for it is with these simple amusements that
  • some officers in India are accustomed to while away their leisure
  • moments, while others of a less domestic turn hunt hogs, and shoot
  • snipes, or gamble and smoke cheroots, and betake themselves to
  • brandy-and-water. As for Sir Michael O'Dowd, though his lady and her
  • sister both urged him to call upon the Major to explain himself and not
  • keep on torturing a poor innocent girl in that shameful way, the old
  • soldier refused point-blank to have anything to do with the conspiracy.
  • "Faith, the Major's big enough to choose for himself," Sir Michael
  • said; "he'll ask ye when he wants ye"; or else he would turn the matter
  • off jocularly, declaring that "Dobbin was too young to keep house, and
  • had written home to ask lave of his mamma." Nay, he went farther, and
  • in private communications with his Major would caution and rally him,
  • crying, "Mind your oi, Dob, my boy, them girls is bent on mischief--me
  • Lady has just got a box of gowns from Europe, and there's a pink satin
  • for Glorvina, which will finish ye, Dob, if it's in the power of woman
  • or satin to move ye."
  • But the truth is, neither beauty nor fashion could conquer him. Our
  • honest friend had but one idea of a woman in his head, and that one did
  • not in the least resemble Miss Glorvina O'Dowd in pink satin. A gentle
  • little woman in black, with large eyes and brown hair, seldom speaking,
  • save when spoken to, and then in a voice not the least resembling Miss
  • Glorvina's--a soft young mother tending an infant and beckoning the
  • Major up with a smile to look at him--a rosy-cheeked lass coming
  • singing into the room in Russell Square or hanging on George Osborne's
  • arm, happy and loving--there was but this image that filled our honest
  • Major's mind, by day and by night, and reigned over it always. Very
  • likely Amelia was not like the portrait the Major had formed of her:
  • there was a figure in a book of fashions which his sisters had in
  • England, and with which William had made away privately, pasting it
  • into the lid of his desk, and fancying he saw some resemblance to Mrs.
  • Osborne in the print, whereas I have seen it, and can vouch that it is
  • but the picture of a high-waisted gown with an impossible doll's face
  • simpering over it--and, perhaps, Mr. Dobbin's sentimental Amelia was no
  • more like the real one than this absurd little print which he
  • cherished. But what man in love, of us, is better informed?--or is he
  • much happier when he sees and owns his delusion? Dobbin was under this
  • spell. He did not bother his friends and the public much about his
  • feelings, or indeed lose his natural rest or appetite on account of
  • them. His head has grizzled since we saw him last, and a line or two
  • of silver may be seen in the soft brown hair likewise. But his
  • feelings are not in the least changed or oldened, and his love remains
  • as fresh as a man's recollections of boyhood are.
  • We have said how the two Misses Dobbin and Amelia, the Major's
  • correspondents in Europe, wrote him letters from England, Mrs. Osborne
  • congratulating him with great candour and cordiality upon his
  • approaching nuptials with Miss O'Dowd. "Your sister has just kindly
  • visited me," Amelia wrote in her letter, "and informed me of an
  • INTERESTING EVENT, upon which I beg to offer my MOST SINCERE
  • CONGRATULATIONS. I hope the young lady to whom I hear you are to be
  • UNITED will in every respect prove worthy of one who is himself all
  • kindness and goodness. The poor widow has only her prayers to offer
  • and her cordial cordial wishes for YOUR PROSPERITY! Georgy sends his
  • love to HIS DEAR GODPAPA and hopes that you will not forget him. I tell
  • him that you are about to form OTHER TIES, with one who I am sure
  • merits ALL YOUR AFFECTION, but that, although such ties must of course
  • be the strongest and most sacred, and supersede ALL OTHERS, yet that I
  • am sure the widow and the child whom you have ever protected and loved
  • will always HAVE A CORNER IN YOUR HEART." The letter, which has been
  • before alluded to, went on in this strain, protesting throughout as to
  • the extreme satisfaction of the writer.
  • This letter, which arrived by the very same ship which brought out
  • Lady O'Dowd's box of millinery from London (and which you may be sure
  • Dobbin opened before any one of the other packets which the mail
  • brought him), put the receiver into such a state of mind that Glorvina,
  • and her pink satin, and everything belonging to her became perfectly
  • odious to him. The Major cursed the talk of women, and the sex in
  • general. Everything annoyed him that day--the parade was insufferably
  • hot and wearisome. Good heavens! was a man of intellect to waste his
  • life, day after day, inspecting cross-belts and putting fools through
  • their manoeuvres? The senseless chatter of the young men at mess was
  • more than ever jarring. What cared he, a man on the high road to forty,
  • to know how many snipes Lieutenant Smith had shot, or what were the
  • performances of Ensign Brown's mare? The jokes about the table filled
  • him with shame. He was too old to listen to the banter of the
  • assistant surgeon and the slang of the youngsters, at which old O'Dowd,
  • with his bald head and red face, laughed quite easily. The old man had
  • listened to those jokes any time these thirty years--Dobbin himself had
  • been fifteen years hearing them. And after the boisterous dulness of
  • the mess-table, the quarrels and scandal of the ladies of the regiment!
  • It was unbearable, shameful. "O Amelia, Amelia," he thought, "you to
  • whom I have been so faithful--you reproach me! It is because you
  • cannot feel for me that I drag on this wearisome life. And you reward
  • me after years of devotion by giving me your blessing upon my marriage,
  • forsooth, with this flaunting Irish girl!" Sick and sorry felt poor
  • William; more than ever wretched and lonely. He would like to have
  • done with life and its vanity altogether--so bootless and
  • unsatisfactory the struggle, so cheerless and dreary the prospect
  • seemed to him. He lay all that night sleepless, and yearning to go
  • home. Amelia's letter had fallen as a blank upon him. No fidelity, no
  • constant truth and passion, could move her into warmth. She would not
  • see that he loved her. Tossing in his bed, he spoke out to her. "Good
  • God, Amelia!" he said, "don't you know that I only love you in the
  • world--you, who are a stone to me--you, whom I tended through months
  • and months of illness and grief, and who bade me farewell with a smile
  • on your face, and forgot me before the door shut between us!" The
  • native servants lying outside his verandas beheld with wonder the
  • Major, so cold and quiet ordinarily, at present so passionately moved
  • and cast down. Would she have pitied him had she seen him? He read
  • over and over all the letters which he ever had from her--letters of
  • business relative to the little property which he had made her believe
  • her husband had left to her--brief notes of invitation--every scrap of
  • writing that she had ever sent to him--how cold, how kind, how
  • hopeless, how selfish they were!
  • Had there been some kind gentle soul near at hand who could read and
  • appreciate this silent generous heart, who knows but that the reign of
  • Amelia might have been over, and that friend William's love might have
  • flowed into a kinder channel? But there was only Glorvina of the jetty
  • ringlets with whom his intercourse was familiar, and this dashing young
  • woman was not bent upon loving the Major, but rather on making the
  • Major admire HER--a most vain and hopeless task, too, at least
  • considering the means that the poor girl possessed to carry it out.
  • She curled her hair and showed her shoulders at him, as much as to say,
  • did ye ever see such jet ringlets and such a complexion? She grinned at
  • him so that he might see that every tooth in her head was sound--and he
  • never heeded all these charms. Very soon after the arrival of the box
  • of millinery, and perhaps indeed in honour of it, Lady O'Dowd and the
  • ladies of the King's Regiment gave a ball to the Company's Regiments
  • and the civilians at the station. Glorvina sported the killing pink
  • frock, and the Major, who attended the party and walked very ruefully
  • up and down the rooms, never so much as perceived the pink garment.
  • Glorvina danced past him in a fury with all the young subalterns of the
  • station, and the Major was not in the least jealous of her performance,
  • or angry because Captain Bangles of the Cavalry handed her to supper.
  • It was not jealousy, or frocks, or shoulders that could move him, and
  • Glorvina had nothing more.
  • So these two were each exemplifying the Vanity of this life, and each
  • longing for what he or she could not get. Glorvina cried with rage at
  • the failure. She had set her mind on the Major "more than on any of
  • the others," she owned, sobbing. "He'll break my heart, he will,
  • Peggy," she would whimper to her sister-in-law when they were good
  • friends; "sure every one of me frocks must be taken in--it's such a
  • skeleton I'm growing." Fat or thin, laughing or melancholy, on
  • horseback or the music-stool, it was all the same to the Major. And
  • the Colonel, puffing his pipe and listening to these complaints, would
  • suggest that Glory should have some black frocks out in the next box
  • from London, and told a mysterious story of a lady in Ireland who died
  • of grief for the loss of her husband before she got ere a one.
  • While the Major was going on in this tantalizing way, not proposing,
  • and declining to fall in love, there came another ship from Europe
  • bringing letters on board, and amongst them some more for the heartless
  • man. These were home letters bearing an earlier postmark than that of
  • the former packets, and as Major Dobbin recognized among his the
  • handwriting of his sister, who always crossed and recrossed her letters
  • to her brother--gathered together all the possible bad news which she
  • could collect, abused him and read him lectures with sisterly
  • frankness, and always left him miserable for the day after "dearest
  • William" had achieved the perusal of one of her epistles--the truth
  • must be told that dearest William did not hurry himself to break the
  • seal of Miss Dobbin's letter, but waited for a particularly favourable
  • day and mood for doing so. A fortnight before, moreover, he had
  • written to scold her for telling those absurd stories to Mrs. Osborne,
  • and had despatched a letter in reply to that lady, undeceiving her with
  • respect to the reports concerning him and assuring her that "he had no
  • sort of present intention of altering his condition."
  • Two or three nights after the arrival of the second package of letters,
  • the Major had passed the evening pretty cheerfully at Lady O'Dowd's
  • house, where Glorvina thought that he listened with rather more
  • attention than usual to the Meeting of the Wathers, the Minsthrel Boy,
  • and one or two other specimens of song with which she favoured him (the
  • truth is, he was no more listening to Glorvina than to the howling of
  • the jackals in the moonlight outside, and the delusion was hers as
  • usual), and having played his game at chess with her (cribbage with the
  • surgeon was Lady O'Dowd's favourite evening pastime), Major Dobbin took
  • leave of the Colonel's family at his usual hour and retired to his own
  • house.
  • There on his table, his sister's letter lay reproaching him. He took
  • it up, ashamed rather of his negligence regarding it, and prepared
  • himself for a disagreeable hour's communing with that crabbed-handed
  • absent relative. . . . It may have been an hour after the Major's
  • departure from the Colonel's house--Sir Michael was sleeping the sleep
  • of the just; Glorvina had arranged her black ringlets in the
  • innumerable little bits of paper, in which it was her habit to confine
  • them; Lady O'Dowd, too, had gone to her bed in the nuptial chamber, on
  • the ground-floor, and had tucked her musquito curtains round her fair
  • form, when the guard at the gates of the Commanding-Officer's compound
  • beheld Major Dobbin, in the moonlight, rushing towards the house with a
  • swift step and a very agitated countenance, and he passed the sentinel
  • and went up to the windows of the Colonel's bedchamber.
  • "O'Dowd--Colonel!" said Dobbin and kept up a great shouting.
  • "Heavens, Meejor!" said Glorvina of the curl-papers, putting out her
  • head too, from her window.
  • "What is it, Dob, me boy?" said the Colonel, expecting there was a fire
  • in the station, or that the route had come from headquarters.
  • "I--I must have leave of absence. I must go to England--on the most
  • urgent private affairs," Dobbin said.
  • "Good heavens, what has happened!" thought Glorvina, trembling with all
  • the papillotes.
  • "I want to be off--now--to-night," Dobbin continued; and the Colonel
  • getting up, came out to parley with him.
  • In the postscript of Miss Dobbin's cross-letter, the Major had just
  • come upon a paragraph, to the following effect:--"I drove yesterday to
  • see your old ACQUAINTANCE, Mrs. Osborne. The wretched place they live
  • at, since they were bankrupts, you know--Mr. S., to judge from a BRASS
  • PLATE on the door of his hut (it is little better) is a coal-merchant.
  • The little boy, your godson, is certainly a fine child, though forward,
  • and inclined to be saucy and self-willed. But we have taken notice of
  • him as you wish it, and have introduced him to his aunt, Miss O., who
  • was rather pleased with him. Perhaps his grandpapa, not the bankrupt
  • one, who is almost doting, but Mr. Osborne, of Russell Square, may be
  • induced to relent towards the child of your friend, HIS ERRING AND
  • SELF-WILLED SON. And Amelia will not be ill-disposed to give him up.
  • The widow is CONSOLED, and is about to marry a reverend gentleman, the
  • Rev. Mr. Binny, one of the curates of Brompton. A poor match. But
  • Mrs. O. is getting old, and I saw a great deal of grey in her hair--she
  • was in very good spirits: and your little godson overate himself at
  • our house. Mamma sends her love with that of your affectionate, Ann
  • Dobbin."
  • CHAPTER XLIV
  • A Round-about Chapter between London and Hampshire
  • Our old friends the Crawleys' family house, in Great Gaunt Street,
  • still bore over its front the hatchment which had been placed there as
  • a token of mourning for Sir Pitt Crawley's demise, yet this heraldic
  • emblem was in itself a very splendid and gaudy piece of furniture, and
  • all the rest of the mansion became more brilliant than it had ever been
  • during the late baronet's reign. The black outer-coating of the bricks
  • was removed, and they appeared with a cheerful, blushing face streaked
  • with white: the old bronze lions of the knocker were gilt handsomely,
  • the railings painted, and the dismallest house in Great Gaunt Street
  • became the smartest in the whole quarter, before the green leaves in
  • Hampshire had replaced those yellowing ones which were on the trees in
  • Queen's Crawley Avenue when old Sir Pitt Crawley passed under them for
  • the last time.
  • A little woman, with a carriage to correspond, was perpetually seen
  • about this mansion; an elderly spinster, accompanied by a little boy,
  • also might be remarked coming thither daily. It was Miss Briggs and
  • little Rawdon, whose business it was to see to the inward renovation of
  • Sir Pitt's house, to superintend the female band engaged in stitching
  • the blinds and hangings, to poke and rummage in the drawers and
  • cupboards crammed with the dirty relics and congregated trumperies of a
  • couple of generations of Lady Crawleys, and to take inventories of the
  • china, the glass, and other properties in the closets and store-rooms.
  • Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was general-in-chief over these arrangements, with
  • full orders from Sir Pitt to sell, barter, confiscate, or purchase
  • furniture, and she enjoyed herself not a little in an occupation which
  • gave full scope to her taste and ingenuity. The renovation of the
  • house was determined upon when Sir Pitt came to town in November to see
  • his lawyers, and when he passed nearly a week in Curzon Street, under
  • the roof of his affectionate brother and sister.
  • He had put up at an hotel at first, but, Becky, as soon as she heard of
  • the Baronet's arrival, went off alone to greet him, and returned in an
  • hour to Curzon Street with Sir Pitt in the carriage by her side. It
  • was impossible sometimes to resist this artless little creature's
  • hospitalities, so kindly were they pressed, so frankly and amiably
  • offered. Becky seized Pitt's hand in a transport of gratitude when he
  • agreed to come. "Thank you," she said, squeezing it and looking into
  • the Baronet's eyes, who blushed a good deal; "how happy this will make
  • Rawdon!" She bustled up to Pitt's bedroom, leading on the servants, who
  • were carrying his trunks thither. She came in herself laughing, with a
  • coal-scuttle out of her own room.
  • A fire was blazing already in Sir Pitt's apartment (it was Miss
  • Briggs's room, by the way, who was sent upstairs to sleep with the
  • maid). "I knew I should bring you," she said with pleasure beaming in
  • her glance. Indeed, she was really sincerely happy at having him for a
  • guest.
  • Becky made Rawdon dine out once or twice on business, while Pitt stayed
  • with them, and the Baronet passed the happy evening alone with her and
  • Briggs. She went downstairs to the kitchen and actually cooked little
  • dishes for him. "Isn't it a good salmi?" she said; "I made it for you.
  • I can make you better dishes than that, and will when you come to see
  • me."
  • "Everything you do, you do well," said the Baronet gallantly. "The
  • salmi is excellent indeed."
  • "A poor man's wife," Rebecca replied gaily, "must make herself useful,
  • you know"; on which her brother-in-law vowed that "she was fit to be
  • the wife of an Emperor, and that to be skilful in domestic duties was
  • surely one of the most charming of woman's qualities." And Sir Pitt
  • thought, with something like mortification, of Lady Jane at home, and
  • of a certain pie which she had insisted on making, and serving to him
  • at dinner--a most abominable pie.
  • Besides the salmi, which was made of Lord Steyne's pheasants from his
  • lordship's cottage of Stillbrook, Becky gave her brother-in-law a
  • bottle of white wine, some that Rawdon had brought with him from
  • France, and had picked up for nothing, the little story-teller said;
  • whereas the liquor was, in truth, some White Hermitage from the Marquis
  • of Steyne's famous cellars, which brought fire into the Baronet's
  • pallid cheeks and a glow into his feeble frame.
  • Then when he had drunk up the bottle of petit vin blanc, she gave him
  • her hand, and took him up to the drawing-room, and made him snug on the
  • sofa by the fire, and let him talk as she listened with the tenderest
  • kindly interest, sitting by him, and hemming a shirt for her dear
  • little boy. Whenever Mrs. Rawdon wished to be particularly humble and
  • virtuous, this little shirt used to come out of her work-box. It had
  • got to be too small for Rawdon long before it was finished.
  • Well, Rebecca listened to Pitt, she talked to him, she sang to him, she
  • coaxed him, and cuddled him, so that he found himself more and more
  • glad every day to get back from the lawyer's at Gray's Inn, to the
  • blazing fire in Curzon Street--a gladness in which the men of law
  • likewise participated, for Pitt's harangues were of the longest--and so
  • that when he went away he felt quite a pang at departing. How pretty
  • she looked kissing her hand to him from the carriage and waving her
  • handkerchief when he had taken his place in the mail! She put the
  • handkerchief to her eyes once. He pulled his sealskin cap over his, as
  • the coach drove away, and, sinking back, he thought to himself how she
  • respected him and how he deserved it, and how Rawdon was a foolish dull
  • fellow who didn't half appreciate his wife; and how mum and stupid his
  • own wife was compared to that brilliant little Becky. Becky had hinted
  • every one of these things herself, perhaps, but so delicately and
  • gently that you hardly knew when or where. And, before they parted, it
  • was agreed that the house in London should be redecorated for the next
  • season, and that the brothers' families should meet again in the
  • country at Christmas.
  • "I wish you could have got a little money out of him," Rawdon said to
  • his wife moodily when the Baronet was gone. "I should like to give
  • something to old Raggles, hanged if I shouldn't. It ain't right, you
  • know, that the old fellow should be kept out of all his money. It may
  • be inconvenient, and he might let to somebody else besides us, you
  • know."
  • "Tell him," said Becky, "that as soon as Sir Pitt's affairs are
  • settled, everybody will be paid, and give him a little something on
  • account. Here's a cheque that Pitt left for the boy," and she took
  • from her bag and gave her husband a paper which his brother had handed
  • over to her, on behalf of the little son and heir of the younger branch
  • of the Crawleys.
  • The truth is, she had tried personally the ground on which her husband
  • expressed a wish that she should venture--tried it ever so delicately,
  • and found it unsafe. Even at a hint about embarrassments, Sir Pitt
  • Crawley was off and alarmed. And he began a long speech, explaining
  • how straitened he himself was in money matters; how the tenants would
  • not pay; how his father's affairs, and the expenses attendant upon the
  • demise of the old gentleman, had involved him; how he wanted to pay off
  • incumbrances; and how the bankers and agents were overdrawn; and Pitt
  • Crawley ended by making a compromise with his sister-in-law and giving
  • her a very small sum for the benefit of her little boy.
  • Pitt knew how poor his brother and his brother's family must be. It
  • could not have escaped the notice of such a cool and experienced old
  • diplomatist that Rawdon's family had nothing to live upon, and that
  • houses and carriages are not to be kept for nothing. He knew very well
  • that he was the proprietor or appropriator of the money, which,
  • according to all proper calculation, ought to have fallen to his
  • younger brother, and he had, we may be sure, some secret pangs of
  • remorse within him, which warned him that he ought to perform some act
  • of justice, or, let us say, compensation, towards these disappointed
  • relations. A just, decent man, not without brains, who said his
  • prayers, and knew his catechism, and did his duty outwardly through
  • life, he could not be otherwise than aware that something was due to
  • his brother at his hands, and that morally he was Rawdon's debtor.
  • But, as one reads in the columns of the Times newspaper every now and
  • then, queer announcements from the Chancellor of the Exchequer,
  • acknowledging the receipt of 50 pounds from A. B., or 10 pounds from
  • W. T., as conscience-money, on account of taxes due by the said A. B.
  • or W. T., which payments the penitents beg the Right Honourable
  • gentleman to acknowledge through the medium of the public press--so is
  • the Chancellor no doubt, and the reader likewise, always perfectly sure
  • that the above-named A. B. and W. T. are only paying a very small
  • instalment of what they really owe, and that the man who sends up a
  • twenty-pound note has very likely hundreds or thousands more for which
  • he ought to account. Such, at least, are my feelings, when I see
  • A. B. or W. T.'s insufficient acts of repentance. And I have no doubt
  • that Pitt Crawley's contrition, or kindness if you will, towards his
  • younger brother, by whom he had so much profited, was only a very small
  • dividend upon the capital sum in which he was indebted to Rawdon. Not
  • everybody is willing to pay even so much. To part with money is a
  • sacrifice beyond almost all men endowed with a sense of order. There
  • is scarcely any man alive who does not think himself meritorious for
  • giving his neighbour five pounds. Thriftless gives, not from a
  • beneficent pleasure in giving, but from a lazy delight in spending. He
  • would not deny himself one enjoyment; not his opera-stall, not his
  • horse, not his dinner, not even the pleasure of giving Lazarus the five
  • pounds. Thrifty, who is good, wise, just, and owes no man a penny,
  • turns from a beggar, haggles with a hackney-coachman, or denies a poor
  • relation, and I doubt which is the most selfish of the two. Money has
  • only a different value in the eyes of each.
  • So, in a word, Pitt Crawley thought he would do something for his
  • brother, and then thought that he would think about it some other time.
  • And with regard to Becky, she was not a woman who expected too much
  • from the generosity of her neighbours, and so was quite content with
  • all that Pitt Crawley had done for her. She was acknowledged by the
  • head of the family. If Pitt would not give her anything, he would get
  • something for her some day. If she got no money from her
  • brother-in-law, she got what was as good as money--credit. Raggles was
  • made rather easy in his mind by the spectacle of the union between the
  • brothers, by a small payment on the spot, and by the promise of a much
  • larger sum speedily to be assigned to him. And Rebecca told Miss
  • Briggs, whose Christmas dividend upon the little sum lent by her Becky
  • paid with an air of candid joy, and as if her exchequer was brimming
  • over with gold--Rebecca, we say, told Miss Briggs, in strict confidence
  • that she had conferred with Sir Pitt, who was famous as a financier, on
  • Briggs's special behalf, as to the most profitable investment of Miss
  • B.'s remaining capital; that Sir Pitt, after much consideration, had
  • thought of a most safe and advantageous way in which Briggs could lay
  • out her money; that, being especially interested in her as an attached
  • friend of the late Miss Crawley, and of the whole family, and that long
  • before he left town, he had recommended that she should be ready with
  • the money at a moment's notice, so as to purchase at the most
  • favourable opportunity the shares which Sir Pitt had in his eye. Poor
  • Miss Briggs was very grateful for this mark of Sir Pitt's attention--it
  • came so unsolicited, she said, for she never should have thought of
  • removing the money from the funds--and the delicacy enhanced the
  • kindness of the office; and she promised to see her man of business
  • immediately and be ready with her little cash at the proper hour.
  • And this worthy woman was so grateful for the kindness of Rebecca in
  • the matter, and for that of her generous benefactor, the Colonel, that
  • she went out and spent a great part of her half-year's dividend in the
  • purchase of a black velvet coat for little Rawdon, who, by the way, was
  • grown almost too big for black velvet now, and was of a size and age
  • befitting him for the assumption of the virile jacket and pantaloons.
  • He was a fine open-faced boy, with blue eyes and waving flaxen hair,
  • sturdy in limb, but generous and soft in heart, fondly attaching
  • himself to all who were good to him--to the pony--to Lord Southdown,
  • who gave him the horse (he used to blush and glow all over when he saw
  • that kind young nobleman)--to the groom who had charge of the pony--to
  • Molly, the cook, who crammed him with ghost stories at night, and with
  • good things from the dinner--to Briggs, whom he plagued and laughed
  • at--and to his father especially, whose attachment towards the lad was
  • curious too to witness. Here, as he grew to be about eight years old,
  • his attachments may be said to have ended. The beautiful mother-vision
  • had faded away after a while. During near two years she had scarcely
  • spoken to the child. She disliked him. He had the measles and the
  • hooping-cough. He bored her. One day when he was standing at the
  • landing-place, having crept down from the upper regions, attracted by
  • the sound of his mother's voice, who was singing to Lord Steyne, the
  • drawing room door opening suddenly, discovered the little spy, who but
  • a moment before had been rapt in delight, and listening to the music.
  • His mother came out and struck him violently a couple of boxes on the
  • ear. He heard a laugh from the Marquis in the inner room (who was
  • amused by this free and artless exhibition of Becky's temper) and fled
  • down below to his friends of the kitchen, bursting in an agony of grief.
  • "It is not because it hurts me," little Rawdon gasped
  • out--"only--only"--sobs and tears wound up the sentence in a storm. It
  • was the little boy's heart that was bleeding. "Why mayn't I hear her
  • singing? Why don't she ever sing to me--as she does to that baldheaded
  • man with the large teeth?" He gasped out at various intervals these
  • exclamations of rage and grief. The cook looked at the housemaid, the
  • housemaid looked knowingly at the footman--the awful kitchen inquisition
  • which sits in judgement in every house and knows everything--sat on
  • Rebecca at that moment.
  • After this incident, the mother's dislike increased to hatred; the
  • consciousness that the child was in the house was a reproach and a pain
  • to her. His very sight annoyed her. Fear, doubt, and resistance
  • sprang up, too, in the boy's own bosom. They were separated from that
  • day of the boxes on the ear.
  • Lord Steyne also heartily disliked the boy. When they met by
  • mischance, he made sarcastic bows or remarks to the child, or glared at
  • him with savage-looking eyes. Rawdon used to stare him in the face and
  • double his little fists in return. He knew his enemy, and this
  • gentleman, of all who came to the house, was the one who angered him
  • most. One day the footman found him squaring his fists at Lord
  • Steyne's hat in the hall. The footman told the circumstance as a good
  • joke to Lord Steyne's coachman; that officer imparted it to Lord
  • Steyne's gentleman, and to the servants' hall in general. And very soon
  • afterwards, when Mrs. Rawdon Crawley made her appearance at Gaunt
  • House, the porter who unbarred the gates, the servants of all uniforms
  • in the hall, the functionaries in white waistcoats, who bawled out from
  • landing to landing the names of Colonel and Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, knew
  • about her, or fancied they did. The man who brought her refreshment and
  • stood behind her chair, had talked her character over with the large
  • gentleman in motley-coloured clothes at his side. Bon Dieu! it is
  • awful, that servants' inquisition! You see a woman in a great party in
  • a splendid saloon, surrounded by faithful admirers, distributing
  • sparkling glances, dressed to perfection, curled, rouged, smiling and
  • happy--Discovery walks respectfully up to her, in the shape of a huge
  • powdered man with large calves and a tray of ices--with Calumny (which
  • is as fatal as truth) behind him, in the shape of the hulking fellow
  • carrying the wafer-biscuits. Madam, your secret will be talked over by
  • those men at their club at the public-house to-night. Jeames will tell
  • Chawles his notions about you over their pipes and pewter beer-pots.
  • Some people ought to have mutes for servants in Vanity Fair--mutes who
  • could not write. If you are guilty, tremble. That fellow behind your
  • chair may be a Janissary with a bow-string in his plush breeches
  • pocket. If you are not guilty, have a care of appearances, which are
  • as ruinous as guilt.
  • "Was Rebecca guilty or not?" the Vehmgericht of the servants' hall had
  • pronounced against her.
  • And, I shame to say, she would not have got credit had they not
  • believed her to be guilty. It was the sight of the Marquis of Steyne's
  • carriage-lamps at her door, contemplated by Raggles, burning in the
  • blackness of midnight, "that kep him up," as he afterwards said, that
  • even more than Rebecca's arts and coaxings.
  • And so--guiltless very likely--she was writhing and pushing onward
  • towards what they call "a position in society," and the servants were
  • pointing at her as lost and ruined. So you see Molly, the housemaid,
  • of a morning, watching a spider in the doorpost lay his thread and
  • laboriously crawl up it, until, tired of the sport, she raises her
  • broom and sweeps away the thread and the artificer.
  • A day or two before Christmas, Becky, her husband and her son made
  • ready and went to pass the holidays at the seat of their ancestors at
  • Queen's Crawley. Becky would have liked to leave the little brat
  • behind, and would have done so but for Lady Jane's urgent invitations
  • to the youngster, and the symptoms of revolt and discontent which
  • Rawdon manifested at her neglect of her son. "He's the finest boy in
  • England," the father said in a tone of reproach to her, "and you don't
  • seem to care for him, Becky, as much as you do for your spaniel. He
  • shan't bother you much; at home he will be away from you in the
  • nursery, and he shall go outside on the coach with me."
  • "Where you go yourself because you want to smoke those filthy cigars,"
  • replied Mrs. Rawdon.
  • "I remember when you liked 'em though," answered the husband.
  • Becky laughed; she was almost always good-humoured. "That was when I
  • was on my promotion, Goosey," she said. "Take Rawdon outside with you
  • and give him a cigar too if you like."
  • Rawdon did not warm his little son for the winter's journey in this
  • way, but he and Briggs wrapped up the child in shawls and comforters,
  • and he was hoisted respectfully onto the roof of the coach in the dark
  • morning, under the lamps of the White Horse Cellar; and with no small
  • delight he watched the dawn rise and made his first journey to the
  • place which his father still called home. It was a journey of infinite
  • pleasure to the boy, to whom the incidents of the road afforded endless
  • interest, his father answering to him all questions connected with it
  • and telling him who lived in the great white house to the right, and
  • whom the park belonged to. His mother, inside the vehicle, with her
  • maid and her furs, her wrappers, and her scent bottles, made such a
  • to-do that you would have thought she never had been in a stage-coach
  • before--much less, that she had been turned out of this very one to
  • make room for a paying passenger on a certain journey performed some
  • half-score years ago.
  • It was dark again when little Rawdon was wakened up to enter his
  • uncle's carriage at Mudbury, and he sat and looked out of it wondering
  • as the great iron gates flew open, and at the white trunks of the limes
  • as they swept by, until they stopped, at length, before the light
  • windows of the Hall, which were blazing and comfortable with Christmas
  • welcome. The hall-door was flung open--a big fire was burning in the
  • great old fire-place--a carpet was down over the chequered black
  • flags--"It's the old Turkey one that used to be in the Ladies'
  • Gallery," thought Rebecca, and the next instant was kissing Lady Jane.
  • She and Sir Pitt performed the same salute with great gravity; but
  • Rawdon, having been smoking, hung back rather from his sister-in-law,
  • whose two children came up to their cousin; and, while Matilda held out
  • her hand and kissed him, Pitt Binkie Southdown, the son and heir, stood
  • aloof rather and examined him as a little dog does a big dog.
  • Then the kind hostess conducted her guests to the snug apartments
  • blazing with cheerful fires. Then the young ladies came and knocked at
  • Mrs. Rawdon's door, under the pretence that they were desirous to be
  • useful, but in reality to have the pleasure of inspecting the contents
  • of her band and bonnet-boxes, and her dresses which, though black, were
  • of the newest London fashion. And they told her how much the Hall was
  • changed for the better, and how old Lady Southdown was gone, and how
  • Pitt was taking his station in the county, as became a Crawley in fact.
  • Then the great dinner-bell having rung, the family assembled at dinner,
  • at which meal Rawdon Junior was placed by his aunt, the good-natured
  • lady of the house, Sir Pitt being uncommonly attentive to his
  • sister-in-law at his own right hand.
  • Little Rawdon exhibited a fine appetite and showed a gentlemanlike
  • behaviour.
  • "I like to dine here," he said to his aunt when he had completed his
  • meal, at the conclusion of which, and after a decent grace by Sir Pitt,
  • the younger son and heir was introduced, and was perched on a high
  • chair by the Baronet's side, while the daughter took possession of the
  • place and the little wine-glass prepared for her near her mother. "I
  • like to dine here," said Rawdon Minor, looking up at his relation's
  • kind face.
  • "Why?" said the good Lady Jane.
  • "I dine in the kitchen when I am at home," replied Rawdon Minor, "or
  • else with Briggs." But Becky was so engaged with the Baronet, her host,
  • pouring out a flood of compliments and delights and raptures, and
  • admiring young Pitt Binkie, whom she declared to be the most beautiful,
  • intelligent, noble-looking little creature, and so like his father,
  • that she did not hear the remarks of her own flesh and blood at the
  • other end of the broad shining table.
  • As a guest, and it being the first night of his arrival, Rawdon the
  • Second was allowed to sit up until the hour when tea being over, and a
  • great gilt book being laid on the table before Sir Pitt, all the
  • domestics of the family streamed in, and Sir Pitt read prayers. It was
  • the first time the poor little boy had ever witnessed or heard of such
  • a ceremonial.
  • The house had been much improved even since the Baronet's brief reign,
  • and was pronounced by Becky to be perfect, charming, delightful, when
  • she surveyed it in his company. As for little Rawdon, who examined it
  • with the children for his guides, it seemed to him a perfect palace of
  • enchantment and wonder. There were long galleries, and ancient state
  • bedrooms, there were pictures and old China, and armour. There were
  • the rooms in which Grandpapa died, and by which the children walked
  • with terrified looks. "Who was Grandpapa?" he asked; and they told him
  • how he used to be very old, and used to be wheeled about in a
  • garden-chair, and they showed him the garden-chair one day rotting in
  • the out-house in which it had lain since the old gentleman had been
  • wheeled away yonder to the church, of which the spire was glittering
  • over the park elms.
  • The brothers had good occupation for several mornings in examining the
  • improvements which had been effected by Sir Pitt's genius and economy.
  • And as they walked or rode, and looked at them, they could talk without
  • too much boring each other. And Pitt took care to tell Rawdon what a
  • heavy outlay of money these improvements had occasioned, and that a man
  • of landed and funded property was often very hard pressed for twenty
  • pounds. "There is that new lodge-gate," said Pitt, pointing to it
  • humbly with the bamboo cane, "I can no more pay for it before the
  • dividends in January than I can fly."
  • "I can lend you, Pitt, till then," Rawdon answered rather ruefully; and
  • they went in and looked at the restored lodge, where the family arms
  • were just new scraped in stone, and where old Mrs. Lock, for the first
  • time these many long years, had tight doors, sound roofs, and whole
  • windows.
  • CHAPTER XLV
  • Between Hampshire and London
  • Sir Pitt Crawley had done more than repair fences and restore
  • dilapidated lodges on the Queen's Crawley estate. Like a wise man he
  • had set to work to rebuild the injured popularity of his house and stop
  • up the gaps and ruins in which his name had been left by his
  • disreputable and thriftless old predecessor. He was elected for the
  • borough speedily after his father's demise; a magistrate, a member of
  • parliament, a county magnate and representative of an ancient family,
  • he made it his duty to show himself before the Hampshire public,
  • subscribed handsomely to the county charities, called assiduously upon
  • all the county folk, and laid himself out in a word to take that
  • position in Hampshire, and in the Empire afterwards, to which he
  • thought his prodigious talents justly entitled him. Lady Jane was
  • instructed to be friendly with the Fuddlestones, and the Wapshots, and
  • the other famous baronets, their neighbours. Their carriages might
  • frequently be seen in the Queen's Crawley avenue now; they dined pretty
  • frequently at the Hall (where the cookery was so good that it was clear
  • Lady Jane very seldom had a hand in it), and in return Pitt and his
  • wife most energetically dined out in all sorts of weather and at all
  • sorts of distances. For though Pitt did not care for joviality, being
  • a frigid man of poor hearth and appetite, yet he considered that to be
  • hospitable and condescending was quite incumbent on his station, and
  • every time that he got a headache from too long an after-dinner
  • sitting, he felt that he was a martyr to duty. He talked about crops,
  • corn-laws, politics, with the best country gentlemen. He (who had been
  • formerly inclined to be a sad free-thinker on these points) entered
  • into poaching and game preserving with ardour. He didn't hunt; he
  • wasn't a hunting man; he was a man of books and peaceful habits; but he
  • thought that the breed of horses must be kept up in the country, and
  • that the breed of foxes must therefore be looked to, and for his part,
  • if his friend, Sir Huddlestone Fuddlestone, liked to draw his country
  • and meet as of old the F. hounds used to do at Queen's Crawley, he
  • should be happy to see him there, and the gentlemen of the Fuddlestone
  • hunt. And to Lady Southdown's dismay too he became more orthodox in
  • his tendencies every day; gave up preaching in public and attending
  • meeting-houses; went stoutly to church; called on the Bishop and all
  • the Clergy at Winchester; and made no objection when the Venerable
  • Archdeacon Trumper asked for a game of whist. What pangs must have
  • been those of Lady Southdown, and what an utter castaway she must have
  • thought her son-in-law for permitting such a godless diversion! And
  • when, on the return of the family from an oratorio at Winchester, the
  • Baronet announced to the young ladies that he should next year very
  • probably take them to the "county balls," they worshipped him for his
  • kindness. Lady Jane was only too obedient, and perhaps glad herself to
  • go. The Dowager wrote off the direst descriptions of her daughter's
  • worldly behaviour to the authoress of the Washerwoman of Finchley
  • Common at the Cape; and her house in Brighton being about this time
  • unoccupied, returned to that watering-place, her absence being not very
  • much deplored by her children. We may suppose, too, that Rebecca, on
  • paying a second visit to Queen's Crawley, did not feel particularly
  • grieved at the absence of the lady of the medicine chest; though she
  • wrote a Christmas letter to her Ladyship, in which she respectfully
  • recalled herself to Lady Southdown's recollection, spoke with gratitude
  • of the delight which her Ladyship's conversation had given her on the
  • former visit, dilated on the kindness with which her Ladyship had
  • treated her in sickness, and declared that everything at Queen's
  • Crawley reminded her of her absent friend.
  • A great part of the altered demeanour and popularity of Sir Pitt
  • Crawley might have been traced to the counsels of that astute little
  • lady of Curzon Street. "You remain a Baronet--you consent to be a mere
  • country gentleman," she said to him, while he had been her guest in
  • London. "No, Sir Pitt Crawley, I know you better. I know your talents
  • and your ambition. You fancy you hide them both, but you can conceal
  • neither from me. I showed Lord Steyne your pamphlet on malt. He was
  • familiar with it, and said it was in the opinion of the whole Cabinet
  • the most masterly thing that had appeared on the subject. The Ministry
  • has its eye upon you, and I know what you want. You want to
  • distinguish yourself in Parliament; every one says you are the finest
  • speaker in England (for your speeches at Oxford are still remembered).
  • You want to be Member for the County, where, with your own vote and
  • your borough at your back, you can command anything. And you want to
  • be Baron Crawley of Queen's Crawley, and will be before you die. I saw
  • it all. I could read your heart, Sir Pitt. If I had a husband who
  • possessed your intellect as he does your name, I sometimes think I
  • should not be unworthy of him--but--but I am your kinswoman now," she
  • added with a laugh. "Poor little penniless, I have got a little
  • interest--and who knows, perhaps the mouse may be able to aid the
  • lion." Pitt Crawley was amazed and enraptured with her speech. "How
  • that woman comprehends me!" he said. "I never could get Jane to read
  • three pages of the malt pamphlet. She has no idea that I have
  • commanding talents or secret ambition. So they remember my speaking at
  • Oxford, do they? The rascals! Now that I represent my borough and may
  • sit for the county, they begin to recollect me! Why, Lord Steyne cut
  • me at the levee last year; they are beginning to find out that Pitt
  • Crawley is some one at last. Yes, the man was always the same whom
  • these people neglected: it was only the opportunity that was wanting,
  • and I will show them now that I can speak and act as well as write.
  • Achilles did not declare himself until they gave him the sword. I hold
  • it now, and the world shall yet hear of Pitt Crawley."
  • Therefore it was that this roguish diplomatist has grown so hospitable;
  • that he was so civil to oratorios and hospitals; so kind to Deans and
  • Chapters; so generous in giving and accepting dinners; so uncommonly
  • gracious to farmers on market-days; and so much interested about county
  • business; and that the Christmas at the Hall was the gayest which had
  • been known there for many a long day.
  • On Christmas Day a great family gathering took place. All the Crawleys
  • from the Rectory came to dine. Rebecca was as frank and fond of Mrs.
  • Bute as if the other had never been her enemy; she was affectionately
  • interested in the dear girls, and surprised at the progress which they
  • had made in music since her time, and insisted upon encoring one of the
  • duets out of the great song-books which Jim, grumbling, had been forced
  • to bring under his arm from the Rectory. Mrs. Bute, perforce, was
  • obliged to adopt a decent demeanour towards the little adventuress--of
  • course being free to discourse with her daughters afterwards about the
  • absurd respect with which Sir Pitt treated his sister-in-law. But Jim,
  • who had sat next to her at dinner, declared she was a trump, and one
  • and all of the Rector's family agreed that the little Rawdon was a fine
  • boy. They respected a possible baronet in the boy, between whom and the
  • title there was only the little sickly pale Pitt Binkie.
  • The children were very good friends. Pitt Binkie was too little a dog
  • for such a big dog as Rawdon to play with; and Matilda being only a
  • girl, of course not fit companion for a young gentleman who was near
  • eight years old, and going into jackets very soon. He took the command
  • of this small party at once--the little girl and the little boy
  • following him about with great reverence at such times as he
  • condescended to sport with them. His happiness and pleasure in the
  • country were extreme. The kitchen garden pleased him hugely, the
  • flowers moderately, but the pigeons and the poultry, and the stables
  • when he was allowed to visit them, were delightful objects to him. He
  • resisted being kissed by the Misses Crawley, but he allowed Lady Jane
  • sometimes to embrace him, and it was by her side that he liked to sit
  • when, the signal to retire to the drawing-room being given, the ladies
  • left the gentlemen to their claret--by her side rather than by his
  • mother. For Rebecca, seeing that tenderness was the fashion, called
  • Rawdon to her one evening and stooped down and kissed him in the
  • presence of all the ladies.
  • He looked her full in the face after the operation, trembling and
  • turning very red, as his wont was when moved. "You never kiss me at
  • home, Mamma," he said, at which there was a general silence and
  • consternation and a by no means pleasant look in Becky's eyes.
  • Rawdon was fond of his sister-in-law, for her regard for his son. Lady
  • Jane and Becky did not get on quite so well at this visit as on
  • occasion of the former one, when the Colonel's wife was bent upon
  • pleasing. Those two speeches of the child struck rather a chill.
  • Perhaps Sir Pitt was rather too attentive to her.
  • But Rawdon, as became his age and size, was fonder of the society of
  • the men than of the women, and never wearied of accompanying his sire
  • to the stables, whither the Colonel retired to smoke his cigar--Jim,
  • the Rector's son, sometimes joining his cousin in that and other
  • amusements. He and the Baronet's keeper were very close friends, their
  • mutual taste for "dawgs" bringing them much together. On one day, Mr.
  • James, the Colonel, and Horn, the keeper, went and shot pheasants,
  • taking little Rawdon with them. On another most blissful morning,
  • these four gentlemen partook of the amusement of rat-hunting in a barn,
  • than which sport Rawdon as yet had never seen anything more noble.
  • They stopped up the ends of certain drains in the barn, into the other
  • openings of which ferrets were inserted, and then stood silently aloof,
  • with uplifted stakes in their hands, and an anxious little terrier (Mr.
  • James's celebrated "dawg" Forceps, indeed) scarcely breathing from
  • excitement, listening motionless on three legs, to the faint squeaking
  • of the rats below. Desperately bold at last, the persecuted animals
  • bolted above-ground--the terrier accounted for one, the keeper for
  • another; Rawdon, from flurry and excitement, missed his rat, but on the
  • other hand he half-murdered a ferret.
  • But the greatest day of all was that on which Sir Huddlestone
  • Fuddlestone's hounds met upon the lawn at Queen's Crawley.
  • That was a famous sight for little Rawdon. At half-past ten, Tom
  • Moody, Sir Huddlestone Fuddlestone's huntsman, was seen trotting up the
  • avenue, followed by the noble pack of hounds in a compact body--the
  • rear being brought up by the two whips clad in stained scarlet
  • frocks--light hard-featured lads on well-bred lean horses, possessing
  • marvellous dexterity in casting the points of their long heavy whips at
  • the thinnest part of any dog's skin who dares to straggle from the main
  • body, or to take the slightest notice, or even so much as wink, at the
  • hares and rabbits starting under their noses.
  • Next comes boy Jack, Tom Moody's son, who weighs five stone, measures
  • eight-and-forty inches, and will never be any bigger. He is perched on
  • a large raw-boned hunter, half-covered by a capacious saddle. This
  • animal is Sir Huddlestone Fuddlestone's favourite horse the Nob. Other
  • horses, ridden by other small boys, arrive from time to time, awaiting
  • their masters, who will come cantering on anon.
  • Tom Moody rides up to the door of the Hall, where he is welcomed by the
  • butler, who offers him drink, which he declines. He and his pack then
  • draw off into a sheltered corner of the lawn, where the dogs roll on
  • the grass, and play or growl angrily at one another, ever and anon
  • breaking out into furious fight speedily to be quelled by Tom's voice,
  • unmatched at rating, or the snaky thongs of the whips.
  • Many young gentlemen canter up on thoroughbred hacks, spatter-dashed to
  • the knee, and enter the house to drink cherry-brandy and pay their
  • respects to the ladies, or, more modest and sportsmanlike, divest
  • themselves of their mud-boots, exchange their hacks for their hunters,
  • and warm their blood by a preliminary gallop round the lawn. Then they
  • collect round the pack in the corner and talk with Tom Moody of past
  • sport, and the merits of Sniveller and Diamond, and of the state of the
  • country and of the wretched breed of foxes.
  • Sir Huddlestone presently appears mounted on a clever cob and rides up
  • to the Hall, where he enters and does the civil thing by the ladies,
  • after which, being a man of few words, he proceeds to business. The
  • hounds are drawn up to the hall-door, and little Rawdon descends
  • amongst them, excited yet half-alarmed by the caresses which they
  • bestow upon him, at the thumps he receives from their waving tails, and
  • at their canine bickerings, scarcely restrained by Tom Moody's tongue
  • and lash.
  • Meanwhile, Sir Huddlestone has hoisted himself unwieldily on the Nob:
  • "Let's try Sowster's Spinney, Tom," says the Baronet, "Farmer Mangle
  • tells me there are two foxes in it." Tom blows his horn and trots off,
  • followed by the pack, by the whips, by the young gents from Winchester,
  • by the farmers of the neighbourhood, by the labourers of the parish on
  • foot, with whom the day is a great holiday, Sir Huddlestone bringing up
  • the rear with Colonel Crawley, and the whole cortege disappears down
  • the avenue.
  • The Reverend Bute Crawley (who has been too modest to appear at the
  • public meet before his nephew's windows), whom Tom Moody remembers
  • forty years back a slender divine riding the wildest horses, jumping
  • the widest brooks, and larking over the newest gates in the country--his
  • Reverence, we say, happens to trot out from the Rectory Lane on his
  • powerful black horse just as Sir Huddlestone passes; he joins the
  • worthy Baronet. Hounds and horsemen disappear, and little Rawdon
  • remains on the doorsteps, wondering and happy.
  • During the progress of this memorable holiday, little Rawdon, if he had
  • got no special liking for his uncle, always awful and cold and locked
  • up in his study, plunged in justice-business and surrounded by bailiffs
  • and farmers--has gained the good graces of his married and maiden
  • aunts, of the two little folks of the Hall, and of Jim of the Rectory,
  • whom Sir Pitt is encouraging to pay his addresses to one of the young
  • ladies, with an understanding doubtless that he shall be presented to
  • the living when it shall be vacated by his fox-hunting old sire. Jim
  • has given up that sport himself and confines himself to a little
  • harmless duck- or snipe-shooting, or a little quiet trifling with the
  • rats during the Christmas holidays, after which he will return to the
  • University and try and not be plucked, once more. He has already
  • eschewed green coats, red neckcloths, and other worldly ornaments, and
  • is preparing himself for a change in his condition. In this cheap and
  • thrifty way Sir Pitt tries to pay off his debt to his family.
  • Also before this merry Christmas was over, the Baronet had screwed up
  • courage enough to give his brother another draft on his bankers, and
  • for no less a sum than a hundred pounds, an act which caused Sir Pitt
  • cruel pangs at first, but which made him glow afterwards to think
  • himself one of the most generous of men. Rawdon and his son went away
  • with the utmost heaviness of heart. Becky and the ladies parted with
  • some alacrity, however, and our friend returned to London to commence
  • those avocations with which we find her occupied when this chapter
  • begins. Under her care the Crawley House in Great Gaunt Street was
  • quite rejuvenescent and ready for the reception of Sir Pitt and his
  • family, when the Baronet came to London to attend his duties in
  • Parliament and to assume that position in the country for which his
  • vast genius fitted him.
  • For the first session, this profound dissembler hid his projects and
  • never opened his lips but to present a petition from Mudbury. But he
  • attended assiduously in his place and learned thoroughly the routine
  • and business of the House. At home he gave himself up to the perusal
  • of Blue Books, to the alarm and wonder of Lady Jane, who thought he was
  • killing himself by late hours and intense application. And he made
  • acquaintance with the ministers, and the chiefs of his party,
  • determining to rank as one of them before many years were over.
  • Lady Jane's sweetness and kindness had inspired Rebecca with such a
  • contempt for her ladyship as the little woman found no small difficulty
  • in concealing. That sort of goodness and simplicity which Lady Jane
  • possessed annoyed our friend Becky, and it was impossible for her at
  • times not to show, or to let the other divine, her scorn. Her presence,
  • too, rendered Lady Jane uneasy. Her husband talked constantly with
  • Becky. Signs of intelligence seemed to pass between them, and Pitt
  • spoke with her on subjects on which he never thought of discoursing
  • with Lady Jane. The latter did not understand them, to be sure, but it
  • was mortifying to remain silent; still more mortifying to know that you
  • had nothing to say, and hear that little audacious Mrs. Rawdon dashing
  • on from subject to subject, with a word for every man, and a joke
  • always pat; and to sit in one's own house alone, by the fireside, and
  • watching all the men round your rival.
  • In the country, when Lady Jane was telling stories to the children, who
  • clustered about her knees (little Rawdon into the bargain, who was very
  • fond of her), and Becky came into the room, sneering with green
  • scornful eyes, poor Lady Jane grew silent under those baleful glances.
  • Her simple little fancies shrank away tremulously, as fairies in the
  • story-books, before a superior bad angel. She could not go on,
  • although Rebecca, with the smallest inflection of sarcasm in her voice,
  • besought her to continue that charming story. And on her side gentle
  • thoughts and simple pleasures were odious to Mrs. Becky; they discorded
  • with her; she hated people for liking them; she spurned children and
  • children-lovers. "I have no taste for bread and butter," she would
  • say, when caricaturing Lady Jane and her ways to my Lord Steyne.
  • "No more has a certain person for holy water," his lordship replied
  • with a bow and a grin and a great jarring laugh afterwards.
  • So these two ladies did not see much of each other except upon those
  • occasions when the younger brother's wife, having an object to gain
  • from the other, frequented her. They my-loved and my-deared each other
  • assiduously, but kept apart generally, whereas Sir Pitt, in the midst
  • of his multiplied avocations, found daily time to see his sister-in-law.
  • On the occasion of his first Speaker's dinner, Sir Pitt took the
  • opportunity of appearing before his sister-in-law in his uniform--that
  • old diplomatic suit which he had worn when attache to the Pumpernickel
  • legation.
  • Becky complimented him upon that dress and admired him almost as much
  • as his own wife and children, to whom he displayed himself before he
  • set out. She said that it was only the thoroughbred gentleman who
  • could wear the Court suit with advantage: it was only your men of
  • ancient race whom the culotte courte became. Pitt looked down with
  • complacency at his legs, which had not, in truth, much more symmetry or
  • swell than the lean Court sword which dangled by his side--looked down
  • at his legs, and thought in his heart that he was killing.
  • When he was gone, Mrs. Becky made a caricature of his figure, which she
  • showed to Lord Steyne when he arrived. His lordship carried off the
  • sketch, delighted with the accuracy of the resemblance. He had done
  • Sir Pitt Crawley the honour to meet him at Mrs. Becky's house and had
  • been most gracious to the new Baronet and member. Pitt was struck too
  • by the deference with which the great Peer treated his sister-in-law,
  • by her ease and sprightliness in the conversation, and by the delight
  • with which the other men of the party listened to her talk. Lord Steyne
  • made no doubt but that the Baronet had only commenced his career in
  • public life, and expected rather anxiously to hear him as an orator; as
  • they were neighbours (for Great Gaunt Street leads into Gaunt Square,
  • whereof Gaunt House, as everybody knows, forms one side) my lord hoped
  • that as soon as Lady Steyne arrived in London she would have the honour
  • of making the acquaintance of Lady Crawley. He left a card upon his
  • neighbour in the course of a day or two, having never thought fit to
  • notice his predecessor, though they had lived near each other for near
  • a century past.
  • In the midst of these intrigues and fine parties and wise and brilliant
  • personages Rawdon felt himself more and more isolated every day. He
  • was allowed to go to the club more; to dine abroad with bachelor
  • friends; to come and go when he liked, without any questions being
  • asked. And he and Rawdon the younger many a time would walk to Gaunt
  • Street and sit with the lady and the children there while Sir Pitt was
  • closeted with Rebecca, on his way to the House, or on his return from
  • it.
  • The ex-Colonel would sit for hours in his brother's house very silent,
  • and thinking and doing as little as possible. He was glad to be
  • employed of an errand; to go and make inquiries about a horse or a
  • servant, or to carve the roast mutton for the dinner of the children.
  • He was beat and cowed into laziness and submission. Delilah had
  • imprisoned him and cut his hair off, too. The bold and reckless young
  • blood of ten-years back was subjugated and was turned into a torpid,
  • submissive, middle-aged, stout gentleman.
  • And poor Lady Jane was aware that Rebecca had captivated her husband,
  • although she and Mrs. Rawdon my-deared and my-loved each other every
  • day they met.
  • CHAPTER XLVI
  • Struggles and Trials
  • Our friends at Brompton were meanwhile passing their Christmas after
  • their fashion and in a manner by no means too cheerful.
  • Out of the hundred pounds a year, which was about the amount of her
  • income, the Widow Osborne had been in the habit of giving up nearly
  • three-fourths to her father and mother, for the expenses of herself and
  • her little boy. With 120_l_. more, supplied by Jos, this family of four
  • people, attended by a single Irish servant who also did for Clapp and
  • his wife, might manage to live in decent comfort through the year, and
  • hold up their heads yet, and be able to give a friend a dish of tea
  • still, after the storms and disappointments of their early life. Sedley
  • still maintained his ascendency over the family of Mr. Clapp, his
  • ex-clerk. Clapp remembered the time when, sitting on the edge of the
  • chair, he tossed off a bumper to the health of "Mrs. S--, Miss Emmy,
  • and Mr. Joseph in India," at the merchant's rich table in Russell
  • Square. Time magnified the splendour of those recollections in the
  • honest clerk's bosom. Whenever he came up from the kitchen-parlour to
  • the drawing-room and partook of tea or gin-and-water with Mr. Sedley,
  • he would say, "This was not what you was accustomed to once, sir," and
  • as gravely and reverentially drink the health of the ladies as he had
  • done in the days of their utmost prosperity. He thought Miss 'Melia's
  • playing the divinest music ever performed, and her the finest lady. He
  • never would sit down before Sedley at the club even, nor would he have
  • that gentleman's character abused by any member of the society. He had
  • seen the first men in London shaking hands with Mr. S--; he said, "He'd
  • known him in times when Rothschild might be seen on 'Change with him
  • any day, and he owed him personally everythink."
  • Clapp, with the best of characters and handwritings, had been able very
  • soon after his master's disaster to find other employment for himself.
  • "Such a little fish as me can swim in any bucket," he used to remark,
  • and a member of the house from which old Sedley had seceded was very
  • glad to make use of Mr. Clapp's services and to reward them with a
  • comfortable salary. In fine, all Sedley's wealthy friends had dropped
  • off one by one, and this poor ex-dependent still remained faithfully
  • attached to him.
  • Out of the small residue of her income which Amelia kept back for
  • herself, the widow had need of all the thrift and care possible in
  • order to enable her to keep her darling boy dressed in such a manner as
  • became George Osborne's son, and to defray the expenses of the little
  • school to which, after much misgiving and reluctance and many secret
  • pangs and fears on her own part, she had been induced to send the lad.
  • She had sat up of nights conning lessons and spelling over crabbed
  • grammars and geography books in order to teach them to Georgy. She had
  • worked even at the Latin accidence, fondly hoping that she might be
  • capable of instructing him in that language. To part with him all day,
  • to send him out to the mercy of a schoolmaster's cane and his
  • schoolfellows' roughness, was almost like weaning him over again to
  • that weak mother, so tremulous and full of sensibility. He, for his
  • part, rushed off to the school with the utmost happiness. He was
  • longing for the change. That childish gladness wounded his mother, who
  • was herself so grieved to part with him. She would rather have had him
  • more sorry, she thought, and then was deeply repentant within herself
  • for daring to be so selfish as to wish her own son to be unhappy.
  • Georgy made great progress in the school, which was kept by a friend of
  • his mother's constant admirer, the Rev. Mr. Binny. He brought home
  • numberless prizes and testimonials of ability. He told his mother
  • countless stories every night about his school-companions: and what a
  • fine fellow Lyons was, and what a sneak Sniffin was, and how Steel's
  • father actually supplied the meat for the establishment, whereas
  • Golding's mother came in a carriage to fetch him every Saturday, and
  • how Neat had straps to his trowsers--might he have straps?--and how
  • Bull Major was so strong (though only in Eutropius) that it was
  • believed he could lick the Usher, Mr. Ward, himself. So Amelia learned
  • to know every one of the boys in that school as well as Georgy himself,
  • and of nights she used to help him in his exercises and puzzle her
  • little head over his lessons as eagerly as if she was herself going in
  • the morning into the presence of the master. Once, after a certain
  • combat with Master Smith, George came home to his mother with a black
  • eye, and bragged prodigiously to his parent and his delighted old
  • grandfather about his valour in the fight, in which, if the truth was
  • known he did not behave with particular heroism, and in which he
  • decidedly had the worst. But Amelia has never forgiven that Smith to
  • this day, though he is now a peaceful apothecary near Leicester Square.
  • In these quiet labours and harmless cares the gentle widow's life was
  • passing away, a silver hair or two marking the progress of time on her
  • head and a line deepening ever so little on her fair forehead. She
  • used to smile at these marks of time. "What matters it," she asked,
  • "For an old woman like me?" All she hoped for was to live to see her
  • son great, famous, and glorious, as he deserved to be. She kept his
  • copy-books, his drawings, and compositions, and showed them about in
  • her little circle as if they were miracles of genius. She confided
  • some of these specimens to Miss Dobbin, to show them to Miss Osborne,
  • George's aunt, to show them to Mr. Osborne himself--to make that old
  • man repent of his cruelty and ill feeling towards him who was gone.
  • All her husband's faults and foibles she had buried in the grave with
  • him: she only remembered the lover, who had married her at all
  • sacrifices, the noble husband, so brave and beautiful, in whose arms
  • she had hung on the morning when he had gone away to fight, and die
  • gloriously for his king. From heaven the hero must be smiling down upon
  • that paragon of a boy whom he had left to comfort and console her. We
  • have seen how one of George's grandfathers (Mr. Osborne), in his easy
  • chair in Russell Square, daily grew more violent and moody, and how his
  • daughter, with her fine carriage, and her fine horses, and her name on
  • half the public charity-lists of the town, was a lonely, miserable,
  • persecuted old maid. She thought again and again of the beautiful
  • little boy, her brother's son, whom she had seen. She longed to be
  • allowed to drive in the fine carriage to the house in which he lived,
  • and she used to look out day after day as she took her solitary drive
  • in the park, in hopes that she might see him. Her sister, the banker's
  • lady, occasionally condescended to pay her old home and companion a
  • visit in Russell Square. She brought a couple of sickly children
  • attended by a prim nurse, and in a faint genteel giggling tone cackled
  • to her sister about her fine acquaintance, and how her little Frederick
  • was the image of Lord Claud Lollypop and her sweet Maria had been
  • noticed by the Baroness as they were driving in their donkey-chaise at
  • Roehampton. She urged her to make her papa do something for the
  • darlings. Frederick she had determined should go into the Guards; and
  • if they made an elder son of him (and Mr. Bullock was positively
  • ruining and pinching himself to death to buy land), how was the darling
  • girl to be provided for? "I expect YOU, dear," Mrs. Bullock would say,
  • "for of course my share of our Papa's property must go to the head of
  • the house, you know. Dear Rhoda McMull will disengage the whole of the
  • Castletoddy property as soon as poor dear Lord Castletoddy dies, who is
  • quite epileptic; and little Macduff McMull will be Viscount
  • Castletoddy. Both the Mr. Bludyers of Mincing Lane have settled their
  • fortunes on Fanny Bludyer's little boy. My darling Frederick must
  • positively be an eldest son; and--and do ask Papa to bring us back his
  • account in Lombard Street, will you, dear? It doesn't look well, his
  • going to Stumpy and Rowdy's." After which kind of speeches, in which
  • fashion and the main chance were blended together, and after a kiss,
  • which was like the contact of an oyster--Mrs. Frederick Bullock would
  • gather her starched nurslings and simper back into her carriage.
  • Every visit which this leader of ton paid to her family was more
  • unlucky for her. Her father paid more money into Stumpy and Rowdy's.
  • Her patronage became more and more insufferable. The poor widow in the
  • little cottage at Brompton, guarding her treasure there, little knew
  • how eagerly some people coveted it.
  • On that night when Jane Osborne had told her father that she had seen
  • his grandson, the old man had made her no reply, but he had shown no
  • anger--and had bade her good-night on going himself to his room in
  • rather a kindly voice. And he must have meditated on what she said and
  • have made some inquiries of the Dobbin family regarding her visit, for
  • a fortnight after it took place, he asked her where was her little
  • French watch and chain she used to wear?
  • "I bought it with my money, sir," she said in a great fright.
  • "Go and order another like it, or a better if you can get it," said the
  • old gentleman and lapsed again into silence.
  • Of late the Misses Dobbin more than once repeated their entreaties to
  • Amelia, to allow George to visit them. His aunt had shown her
  • inclination; perhaps his grandfather himself, they hinted, might be
  • disposed to be reconciled to him. Surely, Amelia could not refuse such
  • advantageous chances for the boy. Nor could she, but she acceded to
  • their overtures with a very heavy and suspicious heart, was always
  • uneasy during the child's absence from her, and welcomed him back as if
  • he was rescued out of some danger. He brought back money and toys, at
  • which the widow looked with alarm and jealousy; she asked him always if
  • he had seen any gentleman--"Only old Sir William, who drove him about
  • in the four-wheeled chaise, and Mr. Dobbin, who arrived on the
  • beautiful bay horse in the afternoon--in the green coat and pink
  • neck-cloth, with the gold-headed whip, who promised to show him the
  • Tower of London and take him out with the Surrey hounds." At last, he
  • said, "There was an old gentleman, with thick eyebrows, and a broad
  • hat, and large chain and seals." He came one day as the coachman was
  • lunging Georgy round the lawn on the gray pony. "He looked at me very
  • much. He shook very much. I said 'My name is Norval' after dinner.
  • My aunt began to cry. She is always crying." Such was George's report
  • on that night.
  • Then Amelia knew that the boy had seen his grandfather; and looked out
  • feverishly for a proposal which she was sure would follow, and which
  • came, in fact, in a few days afterwards. Mr. Osborne formally offered
  • to take the boy and make him heir to the fortune which he had intended
  • that his father should inherit. He would make Mrs. George Osborne an
  • allowance, such as to assure her a decent competency. If Mrs. George
  • Osborne proposed to marry again, as Mr. O. heard was her intention, he
  • would not withdraw that allowance. But it must be understood that the
  • child would live entirely with his grandfather in Russell Square, or at
  • whatever other place Mr. O. should select, and that he would be
  • occasionally permitted to see Mrs. George Osborne at her own residence.
  • This message was brought or read to her in a letter one day, when her
  • mother was from home and her father absent as usual in the City.
  • She was never seen angry but twice or thrice in her life, and it was in
  • one of these moods that Mr. Osborne's attorney had the fortune to
  • behold her. She rose up trembling and flushing very much as soon as,
  • after reading the letter, Mr. Poe handed it to her, and she tore the
  • paper into a hundred fragments, which she trod on. "I marry again! I
  • take money to part from my child! Who dares insult me by proposing
  • such a thing? Tell Mr. Osborne it is a cowardly letter, sir--a cowardly
  • letter--I will not answer it. I wish you good morning, sir--and she
  • bowed me out of the room like a tragedy Queen," said the lawyer who
  • told the story.
  • Her parents never remarked her agitation on that day, and she never
  • told them of the interview. They had their own affairs to interest
  • them, affairs which deeply interested this innocent and unconscious
  • lady. The old gentleman, her father, was always dabbling in
  • speculation. We have seen how the wine company and the coal company had
  • failed him. But, prowling about the City always eagerly and restlessly
  • still, he lighted upon some other scheme, of which he thought so well
  • that he embarked in it in spite of the remonstrances of Mr. Clapp, to
  • whom indeed he never dared to tell how far he had engaged himself in
  • it. And as it was always Mr. Sedley's maxim not to talk about money
  • matters before women, they had no inkling of the misfortunes that were
  • in store for them until the unhappy old gentleman was forced to make
  • gradual confessions.
  • The bills of the little household, which had been settled weekly, first
  • fell into arrear. The remittances had not arrived from India, Mr.
  • Sedley told his wife with a disturbed face. As she had paid her bills
  • very regularly hitherto, one or two of the tradesmen to whom the poor
  • lady was obliged to go round asking for time were very angry at a delay
  • to which they were perfectly used from more irregular customers.
  • Emmy's contribution, paid over cheerfully without any questions, kept
  • the little company in half-rations however. And the first six months
  • passed away pretty easily, old Sedley still keeping up with the notion
  • that his shares must rise and that all would be well.
  • No sixty pounds, however, came to help the household at the end of the
  • half year, and it fell deeper and deeper into trouble--Mrs. Sedley, who
  • was growing infirm and was much shaken, remained silent or wept a great
  • deal with Mrs. Clapp in the kitchen. The butcher was particularly
  • surly, the grocer insolent: once or twice little Georgy had grumbled
  • about the dinners, and Amelia, who still would have been satisfied with
  • a slice of bread for her own dinner, could not but perceive that her
  • son was neglected and purchased little things out of her private purse
  • to keep the boy in health.
  • At last they told her, or told her such a garbled story as people in
  • difficulties tell. One day, her own money having been received, and
  • Amelia about to pay it over, she, who had kept an account of the moneys
  • expended by her, proposed to keep a certain portion back out of her
  • dividend, having contracted engagements for a new suit for Georgy.
  • Then it came out that Jos's remittances were not paid, that the house
  • was in difficulties, which Amelia ought to have seen before, her mother
  • said, but she cared for nothing or nobody except Georgy. At this she
  • passed all her money across the table, without a word, to her mother,
  • and returned to her room to cry her eyes out. She had a great access of
  • sensibility too that day, when obliged to go and countermand the
  • clothes, the darling clothes on which she had set her heart for
  • Christmas Day, and the cut and fashion of which she had arranged in
  • many conversations with a small milliner, her friend.
  • Hardest of all, she had to break the matter to Georgy, who made a loud
  • outcry. Everybody had new clothes at Christmas. The others would
  • laugh at him. He would have new clothes. She had promised them to
  • him. The poor widow had only kisses to give him. She darned the old
  • suit in tears. She cast about among her little ornaments to see if she
  • could sell anything to procure the desired novelties. There was her
  • India shawl that Dobbin had sent her. She remembered in former days
  • going with her mother to a fine India shop on Ludgate Hill, where the
  • ladies had all sorts of dealings and bargains in these articles. Her
  • cheeks flushed and her eyes shone with pleasure as she thought of this
  • resource, and she kissed away George to school in the morning, smiling
  • brightly after him. The boy felt that there was good news in her look.
  • Packing up her shawl in a handkerchief (another of the gifts of the
  • good Major), she hid them under her cloak and walked flushed and eager
  • all the way to Ludgate Hill, tripping along by the park wall and
  • running over the crossings, so that many a man turned as she hurried by
  • him and looked after her rosy pretty face. She calculated how she
  • should spend the proceeds of her shawl--how, besides the clothes, she
  • would buy the books that he longed for, and pay his half-year's
  • schooling; and how she would buy a cloak for her father instead of that
  • old great-coat which he wore. She was not mistaken as to the value of
  • the Major's gift. It was a very fine and beautiful web, and the
  • merchant made a very good bargain when he gave her twenty guineas for
  • her shawl.
  • She ran on amazed and flurried with her riches to Darton's shop, in St.
  • Paul's Churchyard, and there purchased the Parents' Assistant and the
  • Sandford and Merton Georgy longed for, and got into the coach there
  • with her parcel, and went home exulting. And she pleased herself by
  • writing in the fly-leaf in her neatest little hand, "George Osborne, A
  • Christmas gift from his affectionate mother." The books are extant to
  • this day, with the fair delicate superscription.
  • She was going from her own room with the books in her hand to place
  • them on George's table, where he might find them on his return from
  • school, when in the passage, she and her mother met. The gilt bindings
  • of the seven handsome little volumes caught the old lady's eye.
  • "What are those?" she said.
  • "Some books for Georgy," Amelia replied--"I--I promised them to him at
  • Christmas."
  • "Books!" cried the elder lady indignantly, "Books, when the whole house
  • wants bread! Books, when to keep you and your son in luxury, and your
  • dear father out of gaol, I've sold every trinket I had, the India shawl
  • from my back even down to the very spoons, that our tradesmen mightn't
  • insult us, and that Mr. Clapp, which indeed he is justly entitled,
  • being not a hard landlord, and a civil man, and a father, might have
  • his rent. Oh, Amelia! you break my heart with your books and that boy
  • of yours, whom you are ruining, though part with him you will not. Oh,
  • Amelia, may God send you a more dutiful child than I have had! There's
  • Jos, deserts his father in his old age; and there's George, who might
  • be provided for, and who might be rich, going to school like a lord,
  • with a gold watch and chain round his neck--while my dear, dear old man
  • is without a sh--shilling." Hysteric sobs and cries ended Mrs. Sedley's
  • speech--it echoed through every room in the small house, whereof the
  • other female inmates heard every word of the colloquy.
  • "Oh, Mother, Mother!" cried poor Amelia in reply. "You told me
  • nothing--I--I promised him the books. I--I only sold my shawl this
  • morning. Take the money--take everything"--and with quivering hands
  • she took out her silver, and her sovereigns--her precious golden
  • sovereigns, which she thrust into the hands of her mother, whence they
  • overflowed and tumbled, rolling down the stairs.
  • And then she went into her room, and sank down in despair and utter
  • misery. She saw it all now. Her selfishness was sacrificing the boy.
  • But for her he might have wealth, station, education, and his father's
  • place, which the elder George had forfeited for her sake. She had but
  • to speak the words, and her father was restored to competency and the
  • boy raised to fortune. Oh, what a conviction it was to that tender and
  • stricken heart!
  • CHAPTER XLVII
  • Gaunt House
  • All the world knows that Lord Steyne's town palace stands in Gaunt
  • Square, out of which Great Gaunt Street leads, whither we first
  • conducted Rebecca, in the time of the departed Sir Pitt Crawley.
  • Peering over the railings and through the black trees into the garden
  • of the Square, you see a few miserable governesses with wan-faced
  • pupils wandering round and round it, and round the dreary grass-plot in
  • the centre of which rises the statue of Lord Gaunt, who fought at
  • Minden, in a three-tailed wig, and otherwise habited like a Roman
  • Emperor. Gaunt House occupies nearly a side of the Square. The
  • remaining three sides are composed of mansions that have passed away
  • into dowagerism--tall, dark houses, with window-frames of stone, or
  • picked out of a lighter red. Little light seems to be behind those
  • lean, comfortless casements now, and hospitality to have passed away
  • from those doors as much as the laced lacqueys and link-boys of old
  • times, who used to put out their torches in the blank iron
  • extinguishers that still flank the lamps over the steps. Brass plates
  • have penetrated into the square--Doctors, the Diddlesex Bank Western
  • Branch--the English and European Reunion, &c.--it has a dreary
  • look--nor is my Lord Steyne's palace less dreary. All I have ever seen
  • of it is the vast wall in front, with the rustic columns at the great
  • gate, through which an old porter peers sometimes with a fat and gloomy
  • red face--and over the wall the garret and bedroom windows, and the
  • chimneys, out of which there seldom comes any smoke now. For the
  • present Lord Steyne lives at Naples, preferring the view of the Bay and
  • Capri and Vesuvius to the dreary aspect of the wall in Gaunt Square.
  • A few score yards down New Gaunt Street, and leading into Gaunt Mews
  • indeed, is a little modest back door, which you would not remark from
  • that of any of the other stables. But many a little close carriage has
  • stopped at that door, as my informant (little Tom Eaves, who knows
  • everything, and who showed me the place) told me. "The Prince and
  • Perdita have been in and out of that door, sir," he had often told me;
  • "Marianne Clarke has entered it with the Duke of ------. It conducts to
  • the famous petits appartements of Lord Steyne--one, sir, fitted up all
  • in ivory and white satin, another in ebony and black velvet; there is a
  • little banqueting-room taken from Sallust's house at Pompeii, and
  • painted by Cosway--a little private kitchen, in which every saucepan
  • was silver and all the spits were gold. It was there that Egalite
  • Orleans roasted partridges on the night when he and the Marquis of
  • Steyne won a hundred thousand from a great personage at ombre. Half of
  • the money went to the French Revolution, half to purchase Lord Gaunt's
  • Marquisate and Garter--and the remainder--" but it forms no part of our
  • scheme to tell what became of the remainder, for every shilling of
  • which, and a great deal more, little Tom Eaves, who knows everybody's
  • affairs, is ready to account.
  • Besides his town palace, the Marquis had castles and palaces in various
  • quarters of the three kingdoms, whereof the descriptions may be found
  • in the road-books--Castle Strongbow, with its woods, on the Shannon
  • shore; Gaunt Castle, in Carmarthenshire, where Richard II was taken
  • prisoner--Gauntly Hall in Yorkshire, where I have been informed there
  • were two hundred silver teapots for the breakfasts of the guests of the
  • house, with everything to correspond in splendour; and Stillbrook in
  • Hampshire, which was my lord's farm, an humble place of residence, of
  • which we all remember the wonderful furniture which was sold at my
  • lord's demise by a late celebrated auctioneer.
  • The Marchioness of Steyne was of the renowned and ancient family of the
  • Caerlyons, Marquises of Camelot, who have preserved the old faith ever
  • since the conversion of the venerable Druid, their first ancestor, and
  • whose pedigree goes far beyond the date of the arrival of King Brute in
  • these islands. Pendragon is the title of the eldest son of the house.
  • The sons have been called Arthurs, Uthers, and Caradocs, from
  • immemorial time. Their heads have fallen in many a loyal conspiracy.
  • Elizabeth chopped off the head of the Arthur of her day, who had been
  • Chamberlain to Philip and Mary, and carried letters between the Queen
  • of Scots and her uncles the Guises. A cadet of the house was an
  • officer of the great Duke and distinguished in the famous Saint
  • Bartholomew conspiracy. During the whole of Mary's confinement, the
  • house of Camelot conspired in her behalf. It was as much injured by its
  • charges in fitting out an armament against the Spaniards, during the
  • time of the Armada, as by the fines and confiscations levied on it by
  • Elizabeth for harbouring of priests, obstinate recusancy, and popish
  • misdoings. A recreant of James's time was momentarily perverted from
  • his religion by the arguments of that great theologian, and the
  • fortunes of the family somewhat restored by his timely weakness. But
  • the Earl of Camelot, of the reign of Charles, returned to the old creed
  • of his family, and they continued to fight for it, and ruin themselves
  • for it, as long as there was a Stuart left to head or to instigate a
  • rebellion.
  • Lady Mary Caerlyon was brought up at a Parisian convent; the Dauphiness
  • Marie Antoinette was her godmother. In the pride of her beauty she had
  • been married--sold, it was said--to Lord Gaunt, then at Paris, who won
  • vast sums from the lady's brother at some of Philip of Orleans's
  • banquets. The Earl of Gaunt's famous duel with the Count de la Marche,
  • of the Grey Musqueteers, was attributed by common report to the
  • pretensions of that officer (who had been a page, and remained a
  • favourite of the Queen) to the hand of the beautiful Lady Mary
  • Caerlyon. She was married to Lord Gaunt while the Count lay ill of his
  • wound, and came to dwell at Gaunt House, and to figure for a short time
  • in the splendid Court of the Prince of Wales. Fox had toasted her.
  • Morris and Sheridan had written songs about her. Malmesbury had made
  • her his best bow; Walpole had pronounced her charming; Devonshire had
  • been almost jealous of her; but she was scared by the wild pleasures
  • and gaieties of the society into which she was flung, and after she had
  • borne a couple of sons, shrank away into a life of devout seclusion.
  • No wonder that my Lord Steyne, who liked pleasure and cheerfulness, was
  • not often seen after their marriage by the side of this trembling,
  • silent, superstitious, unhappy lady.
  • The before-mentioned Tom Eaves (who has no part in this history, except
  • that he knew all the great folks in London, and the stories and
  • mysteries of each family) had further information regarding my Lady
  • Steyne, which may or may not be true. "The humiliations," Tom used to
  • say, "which that woman has been made to undergo, in her own house, have
  • been frightful; Lord Steyne has made her sit down to table with women
  • with whom I would rather die than allow Mrs. Eaves to associate--with
  • Lady Crackenbury, with Mrs. Chippenham, with Madame de la Cruchecassee,
  • the French secretary's wife (from every one of which ladies Tom
  • Eaves--who would have sacrificed his wife for knowing them--was too
  • glad to get a bow or a dinner) with the REIGNING FAVOURITE in a word.
  • And do you suppose that that woman, of that family, who are as proud as
  • the Bourbons, and to whom the Steynes are but lackeys, mushrooms of
  • yesterday (for after all, they are not of the Old Gaunts, but of a
  • minor and doubtful branch of the house); do you suppose, I say (the
  • reader must bear in mind that it is always Tom Eaves who speaks) that
  • the Marchioness of Steyne, the haughtiest woman in England, would bend
  • down to her husband so submissively if there were not some cause? Pooh!
  • I tell you there are secret reasons. I tell you that, in the
  • emigration, the Abbe de la Marche who was here and was employed in the
  • Quiberoon business with Puisaye and Tinteniac, was the same Colonel of
  • Mousquetaires Gris with whom Steyne fought in the year '86--that he and
  • the Marchioness met again--that it was after the Reverend Colonel was
  • shot in Brittany that Lady Steyne took to those extreme practices of
  • devotion which she carries on now; for she is closeted with her
  • director every day--she is at service at Spanish Place, every morning,
  • I've watched her there--that is, I've happened to be passing there--and
  • depend on it, there's a mystery in her case. People are not so unhappy
  • unless they have something to repent of," added Tom Eaves with a
  • knowing wag of his head; "and depend on it, that woman would not be so
  • submissive as she is if the Marquis had not some sword to hold over
  • her."
  • So, if Mr. Eaves's information be correct, it is very likely that this
  • lady, in her high station, had to submit to many a private indignity
  • and to hide many secret griefs under a calm face. And let us, my
  • brethren who have not our names in the Red Book, console ourselves by
  • thinking comfortably how miserable our betters may be, and that
  • Damocles, who sits on satin cushions and is served on gold plate, has
  • an awful sword hanging over his head in the shape of a bailiff, or an
  • hereditary disease, or a family secret, which peeps out every now and
  • then from the embroidered arras in a ghastly manner, and will be sure
  • to drop one day or the other in the right place.
  • In comparing, too, the poor man's situation with that of the great,
  • there is (always according to Mr. Eaves) another source of comfort for
  • the former. You who have little or no patrimony to bequeath or to
  • inherit, may be on good terms with your father or your son, whereas the
  • heir of a great prince, such as my Lord Steyne, must naturally be angry
  • at being kept out of his kingdom, and eye the occupant of it with no
  • very agreeable glances. "Take it as a rule," this sardonic old Eaves
  • would say, "the fathers and elder sons of all great families hate each
  • other. The Crown Prince is always in opposition to the crown or
  • hankering after it. Shakespeare knew the world, my good sir, and when
  • he describes Prince Hal (from whose family the Gaunts pretend to be
  • descended, though they are no more related to John of Gaunt than you
  • are) trying on his father's coronet, he gives you a natural description
  • of all heirs apparent. If you were heir to a dukedom and a thousand
  • pounds a day, do you mean to say you would not wish for possession?
  • Pooh! And it stands to reason that every great man, having experienced
  • this feeling towards his father, must be aware that his son entertains
  • it towards himself; and so they can't but be suspicious and hostile.
  • "Then again, as to the feeling of elder towards younger sons. My dear
  • sir, you ought to know that every elder brother looks upon the cadets
  • of the house as his natural enemies, who deprive him of so much ready
  • money which ought to be his by right. I have often heard George Mac
  • Turk, Lord Bajazet's eldest son, say that if he had his will when he
  • came to the title, he would do what the sultans do, and clear the
  • estate by chopping off all his younger brothers' heads at once; and so
  • the case is, more or less, with them all. I tell you they are all
  • Turks in their hearts. Pooh! sir, they know the world." And here,
  • haply, a great man coming up, Tom Eaves's hat would drop off his head,
  • and he would rush forward with a bow and a grin, which showed that he
  • knew the world too--in the Tomeavesian way, that is. And having laid
  • out every shilling of his fortune on an annuity, Tom could afford to
  • bear no malice to his nephews and nieces, and to have no other feeling
  • with regard to his betters but a constant and generous desire to dine
  • with them.
  • Between the Marchioness and the natural and tender regard of mother for
  • children, there was that cruel barrier placed of difference of faith.
  • The very love which she might feel for her sons only served to render
  • the timid and pious lady more fearful and unhappy. The gulf which
  • separated them was fatal and impassable. She could not stretch her
  • weak arms across it, or draw her children over to that side away from
  • which her belief told her there was no safety. During the youth of his
  • sons, Lord Steyne, who was a good scholar and amateur casuist, had no
  • better sport in the evening after dinner in the country than in setting
  • the boys' tutor, the Reverend Mr. Trail (now my Lord Bishop of Ealing)
  • on her ladyship's director, Father Mole, over their wine, and in
  • pitting Oxford against St. Acheul. He cried "Bravo, Latimer! Well
  • said, Loyola!" alternately; he promised Mole a bishopric if he would
  • come over, and vowed he would use all his influence to get Trail a
  • cardinal's hat if he would secede. Neither divine allowed himself to
  • be conquered, and though the fond mother hoped that her youngest and
  • favourite son would be reconciled to her church--his mother church--a
  • sad and awful disappointment awaited the devout lady--a disappointment
  • which seemed to be a judgement upon her for the sin of her marriage.
  • My Lord Gaunt married, as every person who frequents the Peerage knows,
  • the Lady Blanche Thistlewood, a daughter of the noble house of
  • Bareacres, before mentioned in this veracious history. A wing of Gaunt
  • House was assigned to this couple; for the head of the family chose to
  • govern it, and while he reigned to reign supreme; his son and heir,
  • however, living little at home, disagreeing with his wife, and
  • borrowing upon post-obits such moneys as he required beyond the very
  • moderate sums which his father was disposed to allow him. The Marquis
  • knew every shilling of his son's debts. At his lamented demise, he was
  • found himself to be possessor of many of his heir's bonds, purchased
  • for their benefit, and devised by his Lordship to the children of his
  • younger son.
  • As, to my Lord Gaunt's dismay, and the chuckling delight of his natural
  • enemy and father, the Lady Gaunt had no children--the Lord George Gaunt
  • was desired to return from Vienna, where he was engaged in waltzing and
  • diplomacy, and to contract a matrimonial alliance with the Honourable
  • Joan, only daughter of John Johnes, First Baron Helvellyn, and head of
  • the firm of Jones, Brown, and Robinson, of Threadneedle Street,
  • Bankers; from which union sprang several sons and daughters, whose
  • doings do not appertain to this story.
  • The marriage at first was a happy and prosperous one. My Lord George
  • Gaunt could not only read, but write pretty correctly. He spoke French
  • with considerable fluency; and was one of the finest waltzers in
  • Europe. With these talents, and his interest at home, there was little
  • doubt that his lordship would rise to the highest dignities in his
  • profession. The lady, his wife, felt that courts were her sphere, and
  • her wealth enabled her to receive splendidly in those continental towns
  • whither her husband's diplomatic duties led him. There was talk of
  • appointing him minister, and bets were laid at the Travellers' that he
  • would be ambassador ere long, when of a sudden, rumours arrived of the
  • secretary's extraordinary behaviour. At a grand diplomatic dinner given
  • by his chief, he had started up and declared that a pate de foie gras
  • was poisoned. He went to a ball at the hotel of the Bavarian envoy,
  • the Count de Springbock-Hohenlaufen, with his head shaved and dressed
  • as a Capuchin friar. It was not a masked ball, as some folks wanted to
  • persuade you. It was something queer, people whispered. His
  • grandfather was so. It was in the family.
  • His wife and family returned to this country and took up their abode at
  • Gaunt House. Lord George gave up his post on the European continent,
  • and was gazetted to Brazil. But people knew better; he never returned
  • from that Brazil expedition--never died there--never lived there--never
  • was there at all. He was nowhere; he was gone out altogether.
  • "Brazil," said one gossip to another, with a grin--"Brazil is St.
  • John's Wood. Rio de Janeiro is a cottage surrounded by four walls, and
  • George Gaunt is accredited to a keeper, who has invested him with the
  • order of the Strait-Waistcoat." These are the kinds of epitaphs which
  • men pass over one another in Vanity Fair.
  • Twice or thrice in a week, in the earliest morning, the poor mother
  • went for her sins and saw the poor invalid. Sometimes he laughed at her
  • (and his laughter was more pitiful than to hear him cry); sometimes she
  • found the brilliant dandy diplomatist of the Congress of Vienna
  • dragging about a child's toy, or nursing the keeper's baby's doll.
  • Sometimes he knew her and Father Mole, her director and companion;
  • oftener he forgot her, as he had done wife, children, love, ambition,
  • vanity. But he remembered his dinner-hour, and used to cry if his
  • wine-and-water was not strong enough.
  • It was the mysterious taint of the blood; the poor mother had brought
  • it from her own ancient race. The evil had broken out once or twice in
  • the father's family, long before Lady Steyne's sins had begun, or her
  • fasts and tears and penances had been offered in their expiation. The
  • pride of the race was struck down as the first-born of Pharaoh. The
  • dark mark of fate and doom was on the threshold--the tall old
  • threshold surmounted by coronets and caned heraldry.
  • The absent lord's children meanwhile prattled and grew on quite
  • unconscious that the doom was over them too. First they talked of
  • their father and devised plans against his return. Then the name of
  • the living dead man was less frequently in their mouth--then not
  • mentioned at all. But the stricken old grandmother trembled to think
  • that these too were the inheritors of their father's shame as well as
  • of his honours, and watched sickening for the day when the awful
  • ancestral curse should come down on them.
  • This dark presentiment also haunted Lord Steyne. He tried to lay the
  • horrid bedside ghost in Red Seas of wine and jollity, and lost sight of
  • it sometimes in the crowd and rout of his pleasures. But it always
  • came back to him when alone, and seemed to grow more threatening with
  • years. "I have taken your son," it said, "why not you? I may shut you
  • up in a prison some day like your son George. I may tap you on the
  • head to-morrow, and away go pleasure and honours, feasts and beauty,
  • friends, flatterers, French cooks, fine horses and houses--in exchange
  • for a prison, a keeper, and a straw mattress like George Gaunt's." And
  • then my lord would defy the ghost which threatened him, for he knew of
  • a remedy by which he could baulk his enemy.
  • So there was splendour and wealth, but no great happiness perchance,
  • behind the tall caned portals of Gaunt House with its smoky coronets
  • and ciphers. The feasts there were of the grandest in London, but
  • there was not overmuch content therewith, except among the guests who
  • sat at my lord's table. Had he not been so great a Prince very few
  • possibly would have visited him; but in Vanity Fair the sins of very
  • great personages are looked at indulgently. "Nous regardons a deux
  • fois" (as the French lady said) before we condemn a person of my lord's
  • undoubted quality. Some notorious carpers and squeamish moralists
  • might be sulky with Lord Steyne, but they were glad enough to come when
  • he asked them.
  • "Lord Steyne is really too bad," Lady Slingstone said, "but everybody
  • goes, and of course I shall see that my girls come to no harm." "His
  • lordship is a man to whom I owe much, everything in life," said the
  • Right Reverend Doctor Trail, thinking that the Archbishop was rather
  • shaky, and Mrs. Trail and the young ladies would as soon have missed
  • going to church as to one of his lordship's parties. "His morals are
  • bad," said little Lord Southdown to his sister, who meekly
  • expostulated, having heard terrific legends from her mamma with respect
  • to the doings at Gaunt House; "but hang it, he's got the best dry
  • Sillery in Europe!" And as for Sir Pitt Crawley, Bart.--Sir Pitt that
  • pattern of decorum, Sir Pitt who had led off at missionary meetings--he
  • never for one moment thought of not going too. "Where you see such
  • persons as the Bishop of Ealing and the Countess of Slingstone, you may
  • be pretty sure, Jane," the Baronet would say, "that we cannot be wrong.
  • The great rank and station of Lord Steyne put him in a position to
  • command people in our station in life. The Lord Lieutenant of a
  • County, my dear, is a respectable man. Besides, George Gaunt and I
  • were intimate in early life; he was my junior when we were attaches at
  • Pumpernickel together."
  • In a word everybody went to wait upon this great man--everybody who was
  • asked, as you the reader (do not say nay) or I the writer hereof would
  • go if we had an invitation.
  • CHAPTER XLVIII
  • In Which the Reader Is Introduced to the Very Best of Company
  • At last Becky's kindness and attention to the chief of her husband's
  • family were destined to meet with an exceeding great reward, a reward
  • which, though certainly somewhat unsubstantial, the little woman
  • coveted with greater eagerness than more positive benefits. If she did
  • not wish to lead a virtuous life, at least she desired to enjoy a
  • character for virtue, and we know that no lady in the genteel world can
  • possess this desideratum, until she has put on a train and feathers and
  • has been presented to her Sovereign at Court. From that august
  • interview they come out stamped as honest women. The Lord Chamberlain
  • gives them a certificate of virtue. And as dubious goods or letters
  • are passed through an oven at quarantine, sprinkled with aromatic
  • vinegar, and then pronounced clean, many a lady, whose reputation would
  • be doubtful otherwise and liable to give infection, passes through the
  • wholesome ordeal of the Royal presence and issues from it free from all
  • taint.
  • It might be very well for my Lady Bareacres, my Lady Tufto, Mrs. Bute
  • Crawley in the country, and other ladies who had come into contact with
  • Mrs. Rawdon Crawley to cry fie at the idea of the odious little
  • adventuress making her curtsey before the Sovereign, and to declare
  • that, if dear good Queen Charlotte had been alive, she never would have
  • admitted such an extremely ill-regulated personage into her chaste
  • drawing-room. But when we consider that it was the First Gentleman in
  • Europe in whose high presence Mrs. Rawdon passed her examination, and
  • as it were, took her degree in reputation, it surely must be flat
  • disloyalty to doubt any more about her virtue. I, for my part, look
  • back with love and awe to that Great Character in history. Ah, what a
  • high and noble appreciation of Gentlewomanhood there must have been in
  • Vanity Fair, when that revered and august being was invested, by the
  • universal acclaim of the refined and educated portion of this empire,
  • with the title of Premier Gentilhomme of his Kingdom. Do you remember,
  • dear M--, oh friend of my youth, how one blissful night five-and-twenty
  • years since, the "Hypocrite" being acted, Elliston being manager,
  • Dowton and Liston performers, two boys had leave from their loyal
  • masters to go out from Slaughter-House School where they were educated
  • and to appear on Drury Lane stage, amongst a crowd which assembled
  • there to greet the king. THE KING? There he was. Beefeaters were
  • before the august box; the Marquis of Steyne (Lord of the Powder
  • Closet) and other great officers of state were behind the chair on
  • which he sat, HE sat--florid of face, portly of person, covered with
  • orders, and in a rich curling head of hair--how we sang God save him!
  • How the house rocked and shouted with that magnificent music. How they
  • cheered, and cried, and waved handkerchiefs. Ladies wept; mothers
  • clasped their children; some fainted with emotion. People were
  • suffocated in the pit, shrieks and groans rising up amidst the writhing
  • and shouting mass there of his people who were, and indeed showed
  • themselves almost to be, ready to die for him. Yes, we saw him. Fate
  • cannot deprive us of THAT. Others have seen Napoleon. Some few still
  • exist who have beheld Frederick the Great, Doctor Johnson, Marie
  • Antoinette, &c.--be it our reasonable boast to our children, that we
  • saw George the Good, the Magnificent, the Great.
  • Well, there came a happy day in Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's existence when
  • this angel was admitted into the paradise of a Court which she coveted,
  • her sister-in-law acting as her godmother. On the appointed day, Sir
  • Pitt and his lady, in their great family carriage (just newly built,
  • and ready for the Baronet's assumption of the office of High Sheriff of
  • his county), drove up to the little house in Curzon Street, to the
  • edification of Raggles, who was watching from his greengrocer's shop,
  • and saw fine plumes within, and enormous bunches of flowers in the
  • breasts of the new livery-coats of the footmen.
  • Sir Pitt, in a glittering uniform, descended and went into Curzon
  • Street, his sword between his legs. Little Rawdon stood with his face
  • against the parlour window-panes, smiling and nodding with all his
  • might to his aunt in the carriage within; and presently Sir Pitt issued
  • forth from the house again, leading forth a lady with grand feathers,
  • covered in a white shawl, and holding up daintily a train of
  • magnificent brocade. She stepped into the vehicle as if she were a
  • princess and accustomed all her life to go to Court, smiling graciously
  • on the footman at the door and on Sir Pitt, who followed her into the
  • carriage.
  • Then Rawdon followed in his old Guards' uniform, which had grown
  • woefully shabby, and was much too tight. He was to have followed the
  • procession and waited upon his sovereign in a cab, but that his
  • good-natured sister-in-law insisted that they should be a family party.
  • The coach was large, the ladies not very big, they would hold their
  • trains in their laps--finally, the four went fraternally together, and
  • their carriage presently joined the line of royal equipages which was
  • making its way down Piccadilly and St. James's Street, towards the old
  • brick palace where the Star of Brunswick was in waiting to receive his
  • nobles and gentlefolks.
  • Becky felt as if she could bless the people out of the carriage
  • windows, so elated was she in spirit, and so strong a sense had she of
  • the dignified position which she had at last attained in life. Even our
  • Becky had her weaknesses, and as one often sees how men pride
  • themselves upon excellences which others are slow to perceive: how, for
  • instance, Comus firmly believes that he is the greatest tragic actor in
  • England; how Brown, the famous novelist, longs to be considered, not a
  • man of genius, but a man of fashion; while Robinson, the great lawyer,
  • does not in the least care about his reputation in Westminster Hall,
  • but believes himself incomparable across country and at a five-barred
  • gate--so to be, and to be thought, a respectable woman was Becky's aim
  • in life, and she got up the genteel with amazing assiduity, readiness,
  • and success. We have said, there were times when she believed herself
  • to be a fine lady and forgot that there was no money in the chest at
  • home--duns round the gate, tradesmen to coax and wheedle--no ground to
  • walk upon, in a word. And as she went to Court in the carriage, the
  • family carriage, she adopted a demeanour so grand, self-satisfied,
  • deliberate, and imposing that it made even Lady Jane laugh. She walked
  • into the royal apartments with a toss of the head which would have
  • befitted an empress, and I have no doubt had she been one, she would
  • have become the character perfectly.
  • We are authorized to state that Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's costume de cour
  • on the occasion of her presentation to the Sovereign was of the most
  • elegant and brilliant description. Some ladies we may have seen--we
  • who wear stars and cordons and attend the St. James's assemblies, or
  • we, who, in muddy boots, dawdle up and down Pall Mall and peep into the
  • coaches as they drive up with the great folks in their feathers--some
  • ladies of fashion, I say, we may have seen, about two o'clock of the
  • forenoon of a levee day, as the laced-jacketed band of the Life Guards
  • are blowing triumphal marches seated on those prancing music-stools,
  • their cream-coloured chargers--who are by no means lovely and enticing
  • objects at that early period of noon. A stout countess of sixty,
  • decolletee, painted, wrinkled with rouge up to her drooping eyelids,
  • and diamonds twinkling in her wig, is a wholesome and edifying, but not
  • a pleasant sight. She has the faded look of a St. James's Street
  • illumination, as it may be seen of an early morning, when half the
  • lamps are out, and the others are blinking wanly, as if they were about
  • to vanish like ghosts before the dawn. Such charms as those of which
  • we catch glimpses while her ladyship's carriage passes should appear
  • abroad at night alone. If even Cynthia looks haggard of an afternoon,
  • as we may see her sometimes in the present winter season, with Phoebus
  • staring her out of countenance from the opposite side of the heavens,
  • how much more can old Lady Castlemouldy keep her head up when the sun
  • is shining full upon it through the chariot windows, and showing all
  • the chinks and crannies with which time has marked her face! No.
  • Drawing-rooms should be announced for November, or the first foggy day,
  • or the elderly sultanas of our Vanity Fair should drive up in closed
  • litters, descend in a covered way, and make their curtsey to the
  • Sovereign under the protection of lamplight.
  • Our beloved Rebecca had no need, however, of any such a friendly halo
  • to set off her beauty. Her complexion could bear any sunshine as yet,
  • and her dress, though if you were to see it now, any present lady of
  • Vanity Fair would pronounce it to be the most foolish and preposterous
  • attire ever worn, was as handsome in her eyes and those of the public,
  • some five-and-twenty years since, as the most brilliant costume of the
  • most famous beauty of the present season. A score of years hence that
  • too, that milliner's wonder, will have passed into the domain of the
  • absurd, along with all previous vanities. But we are wandering too
  • much. Mrs. Rawdon's dress was pronounced to be charmante on the
  • eventful day of her presentation. Even good little Lady Jane was forced
  • to acknowledge this effect, as she looked at her kinswoman, and owned
  • sorrowfully to herself that she was quite inferior in taste to Mrs.
  • Becky.
  • She did not know how much care, thought, and genius Mrs. Rawdon had
  • bestowed upon that garment. Rebecca had as good taste as any milliner
  • in Europe, and such a clever way of doing things as Lady Jane little
  • understood. The latter quickly spied out the magnificence of the
  • brocade of Becky's train, and the splendour of the lace on her dress.
  • The brocade was an old remnant, Becky said; and as for the lace, it was
  • a great bargain. She had had it these hundred years.
  • "My dear Mrs. Crawley, it must have cost a little fortune," Lady Jane
  • said, looking down at her own lace, which was not nearly so good; and
  • then examining the quality of the ancient brocade which formed the
  • material of Mrs. Rawdon's Court dress, she felt inclined to say that
  • she could not afford such fine clothing, but checked that speech, with
  • an effort, as one uncharitable to her kinswoman.
  • And yet, if Lady Jane had known all, I think even her kindly temper
  • would have failed her. The fact is, when she was putting Sir Pitt's
  • house in order, Mrs. Rawdon had found the lace and the brocade in old
  • wardrobes, the property of the former ladies of the house, and had
  • quietly carried the goods home, and had suited them to her own little
  • person. Briggs saw her take them, asked no questions, told no stories;
  • but I believe quite sympathised with her on this matter, and so would
  • many another honest woman.
  • And the diamonds--"Where the doose did you get the diamonds, Becky?"
  • said her husband, admiring some jewels which he had never seen before
  • and which sparkled in her ears and on her neck with brilliance and
  • profusion.
  • Becky blushed a little and looked at him hard for a moment. Pitt
  • Crawley blushed a little too, and looked out of window. The fact is,
  • he had given her a very small portion of the brilliants; a pretty
  • diamond clasp, which confined a pearl necklace which she wore--and the
  • Baronet had omitted to mention the circumstance to his lady.
  • Becky looked at her husband, and then at Sir Pitt, with an air of saucy
  • triumph--as much as to say, "Shall I betray you?"
  • "Guess!" she said to her husband. "Why, you silly man," she continued,
  • "where do you suppose I got them?--all except the little clasp, which a
  • dear friend of mine gave me long ago. I hired them, to be sure. I
  • hired them at Mr. Polonius's, in Coventry Street. You don't suppose
  • that all the diamonds which go to Court belong to the wearers; like
  • those beautiful stones which Lady Jane has, and which are much
  • handsomer than any which I have, I am certain."
  • "They are family jewels," said Sir Pitt, again looking uneasy. And in
  • this family conversation the carriage rolled down the street, until its
  • cargo was finally discharged at the gates of the palace where the
  • Sovereign was sitting in state.
  • The diamonds, which had created Rawdon's admiration, never went back to
  • Mr. Polonius, of Coventry Street, and that gentleman never applied for
  • their restoration, but they retired into a little private repository,
  • in an old desk, which Amelia Sedley had given her years and years ago,
  • and in which Becky kept a number of useful and, perhaps, valuable
  • things, about which her husband knew nothing. To know nothing, or
  • little, is in the nature of some husbands. To hide, in the nature of
  • how many women? Oh, ladies! how many of you have surreptitious
  • milliners' bills? How many of you have gowns and bracelets which you
  • daren't show, or which you wear trembling?--trembling, and coaxing
  • with smiles the husband by your side, who does not know the new velvet
  • gown from the old one, or the new bracelet from last year's, or has any
  • notion that the ragged-looking yellow lace scarf cost forty guineas and
  • that Madame Bobinot is writing dunning letters every week for the money!
  • Thus Rawdon knew nothing about the brilliant diamond ear-rings, or the
  • superb brilliant ornament which decorated the fair bosom of his lady;
  • but Lord Steyne, who was in his place at Court, as Lord of the Powder
  • Closet, and one of the great dignitaries and illustrious defences of
  • the throne of England, and came up with all his stars, garters,
  • collars, and cordons, and paid particular attention to the little
  • woman, knew whence the jewels came and who paid for them.
  • As he bowed over her he smiled, and quoted the hackneyed and beautiful
  • lines from The Rape of the Lock about Belinda's diamonds, "which Jews
  • might kiss and infidels adore."
  • "But I hope your lordship is orthodox," said the little lady with a
  • toss of her head. And many ladies round about whispered and talked,
  • and many gentlemen nodded and whispered, as they saw what marked
  • attention the great nobleman was paying to the little adventuress.
  • What were the circumstances of the interview between Rebecca Crawley,
  • nee Sharp, and her Imperial Master, it does not become such a feeble
  • and inexperienced pen as mine to attempt to relate. The dazzled eyes
  • close before that Magnificent Idea. Loyal respect and decency tell
  • even the imagination not to look too keenly and audaciously about the
  • sacred audience-chamber, but to back away rapidly, silently, and
  • respectfully, making profound bows out of the August Presence.
  • This may be said, that in all London there was no more loyal heart than
  • Becky's after this interview. The name of her king was always on her
  • lips, and he was proclaimed by her to be the most charming of men. She
  • went to Colnaghi's and ordered the finest portrait of him that art had
  • produced, and credit could supply. She chose that famous one in which
  • the best of monarchs is represented in a frock-coat with a fur collar,
  • and breeches and silk stockings, simpering on a sofa from under his
  • curly brown wig. She had him painted in a brooch and wore it--indeed
  • she amused and somewhat pestered her acquaintance with her perpetual
  • talk about his urbanity and beauty. Who knows! Perhaps the little
  • woman thought she might play the part of a Maintenon or a Pompadour.
  • But the finest sport of all after her presentation was to hear her talk
  • virtuously. She had a few female acquaintances, not, it must be owned,
  • of the very highest reputation in Vanity Fair. But being made an
  • honest woman of, so to speak, Becky would not consort any longer with
  • these dubious ones, and cut Lady Crackenbury when the latter nodded to
  • her from her opera-box, and gave Mrs. Washington White the go-by in the
  • Ring. "One must, my dear, show one is somebody," she said. "One
  • mustn't be seen with doubtful people. I pity Lady Crackenbury from my
  • heart, and Mrs. Washington White may be a very good-natured person.
  • YOU may go and dine with them, as you like your rubber. But I mustn't,
  • and won't; and you will have the goodness to tell Smith to say I am not
  • at home when either of them calls."
  • The particulars of Becky's costume were in the newspapers--feathers,
  • lappets, superb diamonds, and all the rest. Lady Crackenbury read the
  • paragraph in bitterness of spirit and discoursed to her followers about
  • the airs which that woman was giving herself. Mrs. Bute Crawley and
  • her young ladies in the country had a copy of the Morning Post from
  • town, and gave a vent to their honest indignation. "If you had been
  • sandy-haired, green-eyed, and a French rope-dancer's daughter," Mrs.
  • Bute said to her eldest girl (who, on the contrary, was a very swarthy,
  • short, and snub-nosed young lady), "You might have had superb diamonds
  • forsooth, and have been presented at Court by your cousin, the Lady
  • Jane. But you're only a gentlewoman, my poor dear child. You have
  • only some of the best blood in England in your veins, and good
  • principles and piety for your portion. I, myself, the wife of a
  • Baronet's younger brother, too, never thought of such a thing as going
  • to Court--nor would other people, if good Queen Charlotte had been
  • alive." In this way the worthy Rectoress consoled herself, and her
  • daughters sighed and sat over the Peerage all night.
  • A few days after the famous presentation, another great and exceeding
  • honour was vouchsafed to the virtuous Becky. Lady Steyne's carriage
  • drove up to Mr. Rawdon Crawley's door, and the footman, instead of
  • driving down the front of the house, as by his tremendous knocking he
  • appeared to be inclined to do, relented and only delivered in a couple
  • of cards, on which were engraven the names of the Marchioness of Steyne
  • and the Countess of Gaunt. If these bits of pasteboard had been
  • beautiful pictures, or had had a hundred yards of Malines lace rolled
  • round them, worth twice the number of guineas, Becky could not have
  • regarded them with more pleasure. You may be sure they occupied a
  • conspicuous place in the china bowl on the drawing-room table, where
  • Becky kept the cards of her visitors. Lord! lord! how poor Mrs.
  • Washington White's card and Lady Crackenbury's card--which our little
  • friend had been glad enough to get a few months back, and of which the
  • silly little creature was rather proud once--Lord! lord! I say, how
  • soon at the appearance of these grand court cards, did those poor
  • little neglected deuces sink down to the bottom of the pack. Steyne!
  • Bareacres, Johnes of Helvellyn! and Caerylon of Camelot! we may be
  • sure that Becky and Briggs looked out those august names in the
  • Peerage, and followed the noble races up through all the ramifications
  • of the family tree.
  • My Lord Steyne coming to call a couple of hours afterwards, and looking
  • about him, and observing everything as was his wont, found his ladies'
  • cards already ranged as the trumps of Becky's hand, and grinned, as
  • this old cynic always did at any naive display of human weakness.
  • Becky came down to him presently; whenever the dear girl expected his
  • lordship, her toilette was prepared, her hair in perfect order, her
  • mouchoirs, aprons, scarfs, little morocco slippers, and other female
  • gimcracks arranged, and she seated in some artless and agreeable
  • posture ready to receive him--whenever she was surprised, of course,
  • she had to fly to her apartment to take a rapid survey of matters in
  • the glass, and to trip down again to wait upon the great peer.
  • She found him grinning over the bowl. She was discovered, and she
  • blushed a little. "Thank you, Monseigneur," she said. "You see your
  • ladies have been here. How good of you! I couldn't come before--I was
  • in the kitchen making a pudding."
  • "I know you were, I saw you through the area-railings as I drove up,"
  • replied the old gentleman.
  • "You see everything," she replied.
  • "A few things, but not that, my pretty lady," he said good-naturedly.
  • "You silly little fibster! I heard you in the room overhead, where I
  • have no doubt you were putting a little rouge on--you must give some
  • of yours to my Lady Gaunt, whose complexion is quite preposterous--and
  • I heard the bedroom door open, and then you came downstairs."
  • "Is it a crime to try and look my best when YOU come here?" answered
  • Mrs. Rawdon plaintively, and she rubbed her cheek with her handkerchief
  • as if to show there was no rouge at all, only genuine blushes and
  • modesty in her case. About this who can tell? I know there is some
  • rouge that won't come off on a pocket-handkerchief, and some so good
  • that even tears will not disturb it.
  • "Well," said the old gentleman, twiddling round his wife's card, "you
  • are bent on becoming a fine lady. You pester my poor old life out to
  • get you into the world. You won't be able to hold your own there, you
  • silly little fool. You've got no money."
  • "You will get us a place," interposed Becky, "as quick as possible."
  • "You've got no money, and you want to compete with those who have. You
  • poor little earthenware pipkin, you want to swim down the stream along
  • with the great copper kettles. All women are alike. Everybody is
  • striving for what is not worth the having! Gad! I dined with the King
  • yesterday, and we had neck of mutton and turnips. A dinner of herbs is
  • better than a stalled ox very often. You will go to Gaunt House. You
  • give an old fellow no rest until you get there. It's not half so nice
  • as here. You'll be bored there. I am. My wife is as gay as Lady
  • Macbeth, and my daughters as cheerful as Regan and Goneril. I daren't
  • sleep in what they call my bedroom. The bed is like the baldaquin of
  • St. Peter's, and the pictures frighten me. I have a little brass bed
  • in a dressing-room, and a little hair mattress like an anchorite. I am
  • an anchorite. Ho! ho! You'll be asked to dinner next week. And gare
  • aux femmes, look out and hold your own! How the women will bully you!"
  • This was a very long speech for a man of few words like my Lord Steyne;
  • nor was it the first which he uttered for Becky's benefit on that day.
  • Briggs looked up from the work-table at which she was seated in the
  • farther room and gave a deep sigh as she heard the great Marquis speak
  • so lightly of her sex.
  • "If you don't turn off that abominable sheep-dog," said Lord Steyne,
  • with a savage look over his shoulder at her, "I will have her poisoned."
  • "I always give my dog dinner from my own plate," said Rebecca, laughing
  • mischievously; and having enjoyed for some time the discomfiture of my
  • lord, who hated poor Briggs for interrupting his tete-a-tete with the
  • fair Colonel's wife, Mrs. Rawdon at length had pity upon her admirer,
  • and calling to Briggs, praised the fineness of the weather to her and
  • bade her to take out the child for a walk.
  • "I can't send her away," Becky said presently, after a pause, and in a
  • very sad voice. Her eyes filled with tears as she spoke, and she
  • turned away her head.
  • "You owe her her wages, I suppose?" said the Peer.
  • "Worse than that," said Becky, still casting down her eyes; "I have
  • ruined her."
  • "Ruined her? Then why don't you turn her out?" the gentleman asked.
  • "Men do that," Becky answered bitterly. "Women are not so bad as you.
  • Last year, when we were reduced to our last guinea, she gave us
  • everything. She shall never leave me, until we are ruined utterly
  • ourselves, which does not seem far off, or until I can pay her the
  • utmost farthing."
  • "------ it, how much is it?" said the Peer with an oath. And Becky,
  • reflecting on the largeness of his means, mentioned not only the sum
  • which she had borrowed from Miss Briggs, but one of nearly double the
  • amount.
  • This caused the Lord Steyne to break out in another brief and energetic
  • expression of anger, at which Rebecca held down her head the more and
  • cried bitterly. "I could not help it. It was my only chance. I dare
  • not tell my husband. He would kill me if I told him what I have done.
  • I have kept it a secret from everybody but you--and you forced it from
  • me. Ah, what shall I do, Lord Steyne? for I am very, very unhappy!"
  • Lord Steyne made no reply except by beating the devil's tattoo and
  • biting his nails. At last he clapped his hat on his head and flung out
  • of the room. Rebecca did not rise from her attitude of misery until
  • the door slammed upon him and his carriage whirled away. Then she rose
  • up with the queerest expression of victorious mischief glittering in
  • her green eyes. She burst out laughing once or twice to herself, as
  • she sat at work, and sitting down to the piano, she rattled away a
  • triumphant voluntary on the keys, which made the people pause under her
  • window to listen to her brilliant music.
  • That night, there came two notes from Gaunt House for the little woman,
  • the one containing a card of invitation from Lord and Lady Steyne to a
  • dinner at Gaunt House next Friday, while the other enclosed a slip of
  • gray paper bearing Lord Steyne's signature and the address of Messrs.
  • Jones, Brown, and Robinson, Lombard Street.
  • Rawdon heard Becky laughing in the night once or twice. It was only
  • her delight at going to Gaunt House and facing the ladies there, she
  • said, which amused her so. But the truth was that she was occupied
  • with a great number of other thoughts. Should she pay off old Briggs
  • and give her her conge? Should she astonish Raggles by settling his
  • account? She turned over all these thoughts on her pillow, and on the
  • next day, when Rawdon went out to pay his morning visit to the Club,
  • Mrs. Crawley (in a modest dress with a veil on) whipped off in a
  • hackney-coach to the City: and being landed at Messrs. Jones and
  • Robinson's bank, presented a document there to the authority at the
  • desk, who, in reply, asked her "How she would take it?"
  • She gently said "she would take a hundred and fifty pounds in small
  • notes and the remainder in one note": and passing through St. Paul's
  • Churchyard stopped there and bought the handsomest black silk gown for
  • Briggs which money could buy; and which, with a kiss and the kindest
  • speeches, she presented to the simple old spinster.
  • Then she walked to Mr. Raggles, inquired about his children
  • affectionately, and gave him fifty pounds on account. Then she went to
  • the livery-man from whom she jobbed her carriages and gratified him
  • with a similar sum. "And I hope this will be a lesson to you, Spavin,"
  • she said, "and that on the next drawing-room day my brother, Sir Pitt,
  • will not be inconvenienced by being obliged to take four of us in his
  • carriage to wait upon His Majesty, because my own carriage is not
  • forthcoming." It appears there had been a difference on the last
  • drawing-room day. Hence the degradation which the Colonel had almost
  • suffered, of being obliged to enter the presence of his Sovereign in a
  • hack cab.
  • These arrangements concluded, Becky paid a visit upstairs to the
  • before-mentioned desk, which Amelia Sedley had given her years and
  • years ago, and which contained a number of useful and valuable little
  • things--in which private museum she placed the one note which Messrs.
  • Jones and Robinson's cashier had given her.
  • CHAPTER XLIX
  • In Which We Enjoy Three Courses and a Dessert
  • When the ladies of Gaunt House were at breakfast that morning, Lord
  • Steyne (who took his chocolate in private and seldom disturbed the
  • females of his household, or saw them except upon public days, or when
  • they crossed each other in the hall, or when from his pit-box at the
  • opera he surveyed them in their box on the grand tier) his lordship, we
  • say, appeared among the ladies and the children who were assembled over
  • the tea and toast, and a battle royal ensued apropos of Rebecca.
  • "My Lady Steyne," he said, "I want to see the list for your dinner on
  • Friday; and I want you, if you please, to write a card for Colonel and
  • Mrs. Crawley."
  • "Blanche writes them," Lady Steyne said in a flutter. "Lady Gaunt
  • writes them."
  • "I will not write to that person," Lady Gaunt said, a tall and stately
  • lady, who looked up for an instant and then down again after she had
  • spoken. It was not good to meet Lord Steyne's eyes for those who had
  • offended him.
  • "Send the children out of the room. Go!" said he pulling at the
  • bell-rope. The urchins, always frightened before him, retired: their
  • mother would have followed too. "Not you," he said. "You stop."
  • "My Lady Steyne," he said, "once more will you have the goodness to go
  • to the desk and write that card for your dinner on Friday?"
  • "My Lord, I will not be present at it," Lady Gaunt said; "I will go
  • home."
  • "I wish you would, and stay there. You will find the bailiffs at
  • Bareacres very pleasant company, and I shall be freed from lending
  • money to your relations and from your own damned tragedy airs. Who are
  • you to give orders here? You have no money. You've got no brains. You
  • were here to have children, and you have not had any. Gaunt's tired of
  • you, and George's wife is the only person in the family who doesn't
  • wish you were dead. Gaunt would marry again if you were."
  • "I wish I were," her Ladyship answered with tears and rage in her eyes.
  • "You, forsooth, must give yourself airs of virtue, while my wife, who
  • is an immaculate saint, as everybody knows, and never did wrong in her
  • life, has no objection to meet my young friend Mrs. Crawley. My Lady
  • Steyne knows that appearances are sometimes against the best of women;
  • that lies are often told about the most innocent of them. Pray, madam,
  • shall I tell you some little anecdotes about my Lady Bareacres, your
  • mamma?"
  • "You may strike me if you like, sir, or hit any cruel blow," Lady Gaunt
  • said. To see his wife and daughter suffering always put his Lordship
  • into a good humour.
  • "My sweet Blanche," he said, "I am a gentleman, and never lay my hand
  • upon a woman, save in the way of kindness. I only wish to correct
  • little faults in your character. You women are too proud, and sadly
  • lack humility, as Father Mole, I'm sure, would tell my Lady Steyne if
  • he were here. You mustn't give yourselves airs; you must be meek and
  • humble, my blessings. For all Lady Steyne knows, this calumniated,
  • simple, good-humoured Mrs. Crawley is quite innocent--even more
  • innocent than herself. Her husband's character is not good, but it is
  • as good as Bareacres', who has played a little and not paid a great
  • deal, who cheated you out of the only legacy you ever had and left you
  • a pauper on my hands. And Mrs. Crawley is not very well-born, but she
  • is not worse than Fanny's illustrious ancestor, the first de la Jones."
  • "The money which I brought into the family, sir," Lady George cried
  • out--
  • "You purchased a contingent reversion with it," the Marquis said
  • darkly. "If Gaunt dies, your husband may come to his honours; your
  • little boys may inherit them, and who knows what besides? In the
  • meanwhile, ladies, be as proud and virtuous as you like abroad, but
  • don't give ME any airs. As for Mrs. Crawley's character, I shan't
  • demean myself or that most spotless and perfectly irreproachable lady
  • by even hinting that it requires a defence. You will be pleased to
  • receive her with the utmost cordiality, as you will receive all persons
  • whom I present in this house. This house?" He broke out with a laugh.
  • "Who is the master of it? and what is it? This Temple of Virtue belongs
  • to me. And if I invite all Newgate or all Bedlam here, by ------ they
  • shall be welcome."
  • After this vigorous allocution, to one of which sort Lord Steyne
  • treated his "Hareem" whenever symptoms of insubordination appeared in
  • his household, the crestfallen women had nothing for it but to obey.
  • Lady Gaunt wrote the invitation which his Lordship required, and she
  • and her mother-in-law drove in person, and with bitter and humiliated
  • hearts, to leave the cards on Mrs. Rawdon, the reception of which
  • caused that innocent woman so much pleasure.
  • There were families in London who would have sacrificed a year's income
  • to receive such an honour at the hands of those great ladies. Mrs.
  • Frederick Bullock, for instance, would have gone on her knees from May
  • Fair to Lombard Street, if Lady Steyne and Lady Gaunt had been waiting
  • in the City to raise her up and say, "Come to us next Friday"--not to
  • one of the great crushes and grand balls of Gaunt House, whither
  • everybody went, but to the sacred, unapproachable, mysterious,
  • delicious entertainments, to be admitted to one of which was a
  • privilege, and an honour, and a blessing indeed.
  • Severe, spotless, and beautiful, Lady Gaunt held the very highest rank
  • in Vanity Fair. The distinguished courtesy with which Lord Steyne
  • treated her charmed everybody who witnessed his behaviour, caused the
  • severest critics to admit how perfect a gentleman he was, and to own
  • that his Lordship's heart at least was in the right place.
  • The ladies of Gaunt House called Lady Bareacres in to their aid, in
  • order to repulse the common enemy. One of Lady Gaunt's carriages went
  • to Hill Street for her Ladyship's mother, all whose equipages were in
  • the hands of the bailiffs, whose very jewels and wardrobe, it was said,
  • had been seized by those inexorable Israelites. Bareacres Castle was
  • theirs, too, with all its costly pictures, furniture, and articles of
  • vertu--the magnificent Vandykes; the noble Reynolds pictures; the
  • Lawrence portraits, tawdry and beautiful, and, thirty years ago, deemed
  • as precious as works of real genius; the matchless Dancing Nymph of
  • Canova, for which Lady Bareacres had sat in her youth--Lady Bareacres
  • splendid then, and radiant in wealth, rank, and beauty--a toothless,
  • bald, old woman now--a mere rag of a former robe of state. Her lord,
  • painted at the same time by Lawrence, as waving his sabre in front of
  • Bareacres Castle, and clothed in his uniform as Colonel of the
  • Thistlewood Yeomanry, was a withered, old, lean man in a greatcoat and
  • a Brutus wig, slinking about Gray's Inn of mornings chiefly and dining
  • alone at clubs. He did not like to dine with Steyne now. They had run
  • races of pleasure together in youth when Bareacres was the winner. But
  • Steyne had more bottom than he and had lasted him out. The Marquis was
  • ten times a greater man now than the young Lord Gaunt of '85, and
  • Bareacres nowhere in the race--old, beaten, bankrupt, and broken down.
  • He had borrowed too much money of Steyne to find it pleasant to meet
  • his old comrade often. The latter, whenever he wished to be merry,
  • used jeeringly to ask Lady Gaunt why her father had not come to see
  • her. "He has not been here for four months," Lord Steyne would say. "I
  • can always tell by my cheque-book afterwards, when I get a visit from
  • Bareacres. What a comfort it is, my ladies, I bank with one of my
  • sons' fathers-in-law, and the other banks with me!"
  • Of the other illustrious persons whom Becky had the honour to encounter
  • on this her first presentation to the grand world, it does not become
  • the present historian to say much. There was his Excellency the Prince
  • of Peterwaradin, with his Princess--a nobleman tightly girthed, with a
  • large military chest, on which the plaque of his order shone
  • magnificently, and wearing the red collar of the Golden Fleece round
  • his neck. He was the owner of countless flocks. "Look at his face. I
  • think he must be descended from a sheep," Becky whispered to Lord
  • Steyne. Indeed, his Excellency's countenance, long, solemn, and white,
  • with the ornament round his neck, bore some resemblance to that of a
  • venerable bell-wether.
  • There was Mr. John Paul Jefferson Jones, titularly attached to the
  • American Embassy and correspondent of the New York Demagogue, who, by
  • way of making himself agreeable to the company, asked Lady Steyne,
  • during a pause in the conversation at dinner, how his dear friend,
  • George Gaunt, liked the Brazils? He and George had been most intimate
  • at Naples and had gone up Vesuvius together. Mr. Jones wrote a full
  • and particular account of the dinner, which appeared duly in the
  • Demagogue. He mentioned the names and titles of all the guests, giving
  • biographical sketches of the principal people. He described the
  • persons of the ladies with great eloquence; the service of the table;
  • the size and costume of the servants; enumerated the dishes and wines
  • served; the ornaments of the sideboard; and the probable value of the
  • plate. Such a dinner he calculated could not be dished up under
  • fifteen or eighteen dollars per head. And he was in the habit, until
  • very lately, of sending over proteges, with letters of recommendation
  • to the present Marquis of Steyne, encouraged to do so by the intimate
  • terms on which he had lived with his dear friend, the late lord. He
  • was most indignant that a young and insignificant aristocrat, the Earl
  • of Southdown, should have taken the pas of him in their procession to
  • the dining-room. "Just as I was stepping up to offer my hand to a
  • very pleasing and witty fashionable, the brilliant and exclusive Mrs.
  • Rawdon Crawley,"--he wrote--"the young patrician interposed between me
  • and the lady and whisked my Helen off without a word of apology. I was
  • fain to bring up the rear with the Colonel, the lady's husband, a stout
  • red-faced warrior who distinguished himself at Waterloo, where he had
  • better luck than befell some of his brother redcoats at New Orleans."
  • The Colonel's countenance on coming into this polite society wore as
  • many blushes as the face of a boy of sixteen assumes when he is
  • confronted with his sister's schoolfellows. It has been told before
  • that honest Rawdon had not been much used at any period of his life to
  • ladies' company. With the men at the Club or the mess room, he was
  • well enough; and could ride, bet, smoke, or play at billiards with the
  • boldest of them. He had had his time for female friendships too, but
  • that was twenty years ago, and the ladies were of the rank of those
  • with whom Young Marlow in the comedy is represented as having been
  • familiar before he became abashed in the presence of Miss Hardcastle.
  • The times are such that one scarcely dares to allude to that kind of
  • company which thousands of our young men in Vanity Fair are frequenting
  • every day, which nightly fills casinos and dancing-rooms, which is
  • known to exist as well as the Ring in Hyde Park or the Congregation at
  • St. James's--but which the most squeamish if not the most moral of
  • societies is determined to ignore. In a word, although Colonel Crawley
  • was now five-and-forty years of age, it had not been his lot in life to
  • meet with a half dozen good women, besides his paragon of a wife. All
  • except her and his kind sister Lady Jane, whose gentle nature had tamed
  • and won him, scared the worthy Colonel, and on occasion of his first
  • dinner at Gaunt House he was not heard to make a single remark except
  • to state that the weather was very hot. Indeed Becky would have left
  • him at home, but that virtue ordained that her husband should be by her
  • side to protect the timid and fluttering little creature on her first
  • appearance in polite society.
  • On her first appearance Lord Steyne stepped forward, taking her hand,
  • and greeting her with great courtesy, and presenting her to Lady
  • Steyne, and their ladyships, her daughters. Their ladyships made three
  • stately curtsies, and the elder lady to be sure gave her hand to the
  • newcomer, but it was as cold and lifeless as marble.
  • Becky took it, however, with grateful humility, and performing a
  • reverence which would have done credit to the best dancer-master, put
  • herself at Lady Steyne's feet, as it were, by saying that his Lordship
  • had been her father's earliest friend and patron, and that she, Becky,
  • had learned to honour and respect the Steyne family from the days of
  • her childhood. The fact is that Lord Steyne had once purchased a
  • couple of pictures of the late Sharp, and the affectionate orphan could
  • never forget her gratitude for that favour.
  • The Lady Bareacres then came under Becky's cognizance--to whom the
  • Colonel's lady made also a most respectful obeisance: it was returned
  • with severe dignity by the exalted person in question.
  • "I had the pleasure of making your Ladyship's acquaintance at Brussels,
  • ten years ago," Becky said in the most winning manner. "I had the good
  • fortune to meet Lady Bareacres at the Duchess of Richmond's ball, the
  • night before the Battle of Waterloo. And I recollect your Ladyship,
  • and my Lady Blanche, your daughter, sitting in the carriage in the
  • porte-cochere at the Inn, waiting for horses. I hope your Ladyship's
  • diamonds are safe."
  • Everybody's eyes looked into their neighbour's. The famous diamonds
  • had undergone a famous seizure, it appears, about which Becky, of
  • course, knew nothing. Rawdon Crawley retreated with Lord Southdown into
  • a window, where the latter was heard to laugh immoderately, as Rawdon
  • told him the story of Lady Bareacres wanting horses and "knuckling down
  • by Jove," to Mrs. Crawley. "I think I needn't be afraid of THAT
  • woman," Becky thought. Indeed, Lady Bareacres exchanged terrified and
  • angry looks with her daughter and retreated to a table, where she began
  • to look at pictures with great energy.
  • When the Potentate from the Danube made his appearance, the
  • conversation was carried on in the French language, and the Lady
  • Bareacres and the younger ladies found, to their farther mortification,
  • that Mrs. Crawley was much better acquainted with that tongue, and
  • spoke it with a much better accent than they. Becky had met other
  • Hungarian magnates with the army in France in 1816-17. She asked after
  • her friends with great interest. The foreign personages thought that she
  • was a lady of great distinction, and the Prince and the Princess asked
  • severally of Lord Steyne and the Marchioness, whom they conducted to
  • dinner, who was that petite dame who spoke so well?
  • Finally, the procession being formed in the order described by the
  • American diplomatist, they marched into the apartment where the banquet
  • was served, and which, as I have promised the reader he shall enjoy it,
  • he shall have the liberty of ordering himself so as to suit his fancy.
  • But it was when the ladies were alone that Becky knew the tug of war
  • would come. And then indeed the little woman found herself in such a
  • situation as made her acknowledge the correctness of Lord Steyne's
  • caution to her to beware of the society of ladies above her own sphere.
  • As they say, the persons who hate Irishmen most are Irishmen; so,
  • assuredly, the greatest tyrants over women are women. When poor little
  • Becky, alone with the ladies, went up to the fire-place whither the
  • great ladies had repaired, the great ladies marched away and took
  • possession of a table of drawings. When Becky followed them to the
  • table of drawings, they dropped off one by one to the fire again. She
  • tried to speak to one of the children (of whom she was commonly fond in
  • public places), but Master George Gaunt was called away by his mamma;
  • and the stranger was treated with such cruelty finally, that even Lady
  • Steyne herself pitied her and went up to speak to the friendless little
  • woman.
  • "Lord Steyne," said her Ladyship, as her wan cheeks glowed with a
  • blush, "says you sing and play very beautifully, Mrs. Crawley--I wish
  • you would do me the kindness to sing to me."
  • "I will do anything that may give pleasure to my Lord Steyne or to
  • you," said Rebecca, sincerely grateful, and seating herself at the
  • piano, began to sing.
  • She sang religious songs of Mozart, which had been early favourites of
  • Lady Steyne, and with such sweetness and tenderness that the lady,
  • lingering round the piano, sat down by its side and listened until the
  • tears rolled down her eyes. It is true that the opposition ladies at
  • the other end of the room kept up a loud and ceaseless buzzing and
  • talking, but the Lady Steyne did not hear those rumours. She was a
  • child again--and had wandered back through a forty years' wilderness to
  • her convent garden. The chapel organ had pealed the same tones, the
  • organist, the sister whom she loved best of the community, had taught
  • them to her in those early happy days. She was a girl once more, and
  • the brief period of her happiness bloomed out again for an hour--she
  • started when the jarring doors were flung open, and with a loud laugh
  • from Lord Steyne, the men of the party entered full of gaiety.
  • He saw at a glance what had happened in his absence, and was grateful
  • to his wife for once. He went and spoke to her, and called her by her
  • Christian name, so as again to bring blushes to her pale face--"My wife
  • says you have been singing like an angel," he said to Becky. Now there
  • are angels of two kinds, and both sorts, it is said, are charming in
  • their way.
  • Whatever the previous portion of the evening had been, the rest of that
  • night was a great triumph for Becky. She sang her very best, and it
  • was so good that every one of the men came and crowded round the piano.
  • The women, her enemies, were left quite alone. And Mr. Paul Jefferson
  • Jones thought he had made a conquest of Lady Gaunt by going up to her
  • Ladyship and praising her delightful friend's first-rate singing.
  • CHAPTER L
  • Contains a Vulgar Incident
  • The Muse, whoever she be, who presides over this Comic History must now
  • descend from the genteel heights in which she has been soaring and have
  • the goodness to drop down upon the lowly roof of John Sedley at
  • Brompton, and describe what events are taking place there. Here, too,
  • in this humble tenement, live care, and distrust, and dismay. Mrs.
  • Clapp in the kitchen is grumbling in secret to her husband about the
  • rent, and urging the good fellow to rebel against his old friend and
  • patron and his present lodger. Mrs. Sedley has ceased to visit her
  • landlady in the lower regions now, and indeed is in a position to
  • patronize Mrs. Clapp no longer. How can one be condescending to a lady
  • to whom one owes a matter of forty pounds, and who is perpetually
  • throwing out hints for the money? The Irish maidservant has not altered
  • in the least in her kind and respectful behaviour; but Mrs. Sedley
  • fancies that she is growing insolent and ungrateful, and, as the guilty
  • thief who fears each bush an officer, sees threatening innuendoes and
  • hints of capture in all the girl's speeches and answers. Miss Clapp,
  • grown quite a young woman now, is declared by the soured old lady to be
  • an unbearable and impudent little minx. Why Amelia can be so fond of
  • her, or have her in her room so much, or walk out with her so
  • constantly, Mrs. Sedley cannot conceive. The bitterness of poverty has
  • poisoned the life of the once cheerful and kindly woman. She is
  • thankless for Amelia's constant and gentle bearing towards her; carps
  • at her for her efforts at kindness or service; rails at her for her
  • silly pride in her child and her neglect of her parents. Georgy's
  • house is not a very lively one since Uncle Jos's annuity has been
  • withdrawn and the little family are almost upon famine diet.
  • Amelia thinks, and thinks, and racks her brain, to find some means of
  • increasing the small pittance upon which the household is starving.
  • Can she give lessons in anything? paint card-racks? do fine work? She
  • finds that women are working hard, and better than she can, for
  • twopence a day. She buys a couple of begilt Bristol boards at the
  • Fancy Stationer's and paints her very best upon them--a shepherd with
  • a red waistcoat on one, and a pink face smiling in the midst of a
  • pencil landscape--a shepherdess on the other, crossing a little bridge,
  • with a little dog, nicely shaded. The man of the Fancy Repository and
  • Brompton Emporium of Fine Arts (of whom she bought the screens, vainly
  • hoping that he would repurchase them when ornamented by her hand) can
  • hardly hide the sneer with which he examines these feeble works of art.
  • He looks askance at the lady who waits in the shop, and ties up the
  • cards again in their envelope of whitey-brown paper, and hands them to
  • the poor widow and Miss Clapp, who had never seen such beautiful things
  • in her life, and had been quite confident that the man must give at
  • least two guineas for the screens. They try at other shops in the
  • interior of London, with faint sickening hopes. "Don't want 'em," says
  • one. "Be off," says another fiercely. Three-and-sixpence has been
  • spent in vain--the screens retire to Miss Clapp's bedroom, who
  • persists in thinking them lovely.
  • She writes out a little card in her neatest hand, and after long
  • thought and labour of composition, in which the public is informed that
  • "A Lady who has some time at her disposal, wishes to undertake the
  • education of some little girls, whom she would instruct in English, in
  • French, in Geography, in History, and in Music--address A. O., at Mr.
  • Brown's"; and she confides the card to the gentleman of the Fine Art
  • Repository, who consents to allow it to lie upon the counter, where it
  • grows dingy and fly-blown. Amelia passes the door wistfully many a
  • time, in hopes that Mr. Brown will have some news to give her, but he
  • never beckons her in. When she goes to make little purchases, there is
  • no news for her. Poor simple lady, tender and weak--how are you to
  • battle with the struggling violent world?
  • She grows daily more care-worn and sad, fixing upon her child alarmed
  • eyes, whereof the little boy cannot interpret the expression. She
  • starts up of a night and peeps into his room stealthily, to see that he
  • is sleeping and not stolen away. She sleeps but little now. A
  • constant thought and terror is haunting her. How she weeps and prays
  • in the long silent nights--how she tries to hide from herself the
  • thought which will return to her, that she ought to part with the boy,
  • that she is the only barrier between him and prosperity. She can't,
  • she can't. Not now, at least. Some other day. Oh! it is too hard to
  • think of and to bear.
  • A thought comes over her which makes her blush and turn from
  • herself--her parents might keep the annuity--the curate would marry her
  • and give a home to her and the boy. But George's picture and dearest
  • memory are there to rebuke her. Shame and love say no to the
  • sacrifice. She shrinks from it as from something unholy, and such
  • thoughts never found a resting-place in that pure and gentle bosom.
  • The combat, which we describe in a sentence or two, lasted for many
  • weeks in poor Amelia's heart, during which she had no confidante;
  • indeed, she could never have one, as she would not allow to herself the
  • possibility of yielding, though she was giving way daily before the
  • enemy with whom she had to battle. One truth after another was
  • marshalling itself silently against her and keeping its ground. Poverty
  • and misery for all, want and degradation for her parents, injustice to
  • the boy--one by one the outworks of the little citadel were taken, in
  • which the poor soul passionately guarded her only love and treasure.
  • At the beginning of the struggle, she had written off a letter of
  • tender supplication to her brother at Calcutta, imploring him not to
  • withdraw the support which he had granted to their parents and painting
  • in terms of artless pathos their lonely and hapless condition. She did
  • not know the truth of the matter. The payment of Jos's annuity was
  • still regular, but it was a money-lender in the City who was receiving
  • it: old Sedley had sold it for a sum of money wherewith to prosecute
  • his bootless schemes. Emmy was calculating eagerly the time that would
  • elapse before the letter would arrive and be answered. She had written
  • down the date in her pocket-book of the day when she dispatched it. To
  • her son's guardian, the good Major at Madras, she had not communicated
  • any of her griefs and perplexities. She had not written to him since
  • she wrote to congratulate him on his approaching marriage. She thought
  • with sickening despondency, that that friend--the only one, the one who
  • had felt such a regard for her--was fallen away.
  • One day, when things had come to a very bad pass--when the creditors
  • were pressing, the mother in hysteric grief, the father in more than
  • usual gloom, the inmates of the family avoiding each other, each
  • secretly oppressed with his private unhappiness and notion of
  • wrong--the father and daughter happened to be left alone together, and
  • Amelia thought to comfort her father by telling him what she had done.
  • She had written to Joseph--an answer must come in three or four months.
  • He was always generous, though careless. He could not refuse, when he
  • knew how straitened were the circumstances of his parents.
  • Then the poor old gentleman revealed the whole truth to her--that his
  • son was still paying the annuity, which his own imprudence had flung
  • away. He had not dared to tell it sooner. He thought Amelia's ghastly
  • and terrified look, when, with a trembling, miserable voice he made the
  • confession, conveyed reproaches to him for his concealment. "Ah!" said
  • he with quivering lips and turning away, "you despise your old father
  • now!"
  • "Oh, papa! it is not that," Amelia cried out, falling on his neck and
  • kissing him many times. "You are always good and kind. You did it for
  • the best. It is not for the money--it is--my God! my God! have mercy
  • upon me, and give me strength to bear this trial"; and she kissed him
  • again wildly and went away.
  • Still the father did not know what that explanation meant, and the
  • burst of anguish with which the poor girl left him. It was that she
  • was conquered. The sentence was passed. The child must go from
  • her--to others--to forget her. Her heart and her treasure--her joy,
  • hope, love, worship--her God, almost! She must give him up, and
  • then--and then she would go to George, and they would watch over the
  • child and wait for him until he came to them in Heaven.
  • She put on her bonnet, scarcely knowing what she did, and went out to
  • walk in the lanes by which George used to come back from school, and
  • where she was in the habit of going on his return to meet the boy. It
  • was May, a half-holiday. The leaves were all coming out, the weather
  • was brilliant; the boy came running to her flushed with health,
  • singing, his bundle of school-books hanging by a thong. There he was.
  • Both her arms were round him. No, it was impossible. They could not be
  • going to part. "What is the matter, Mother?" said he; "you look very
  • pale."
  • "Nothing, my child," she said and stooped down and kissed him.
  • That night Amelia made the boy read the story of Samuel to her, and how
  • Hannah, his mother, having weaned him, brought him to Eli the High
  • Priest to minister before the Lord. And he read the song of gratitude
  • which Hannah sang, and which says, who it is who maketh poor and maketh
  • rich, and bringeth low and exalteth--how the poor shall be raised up
  • out of the dust, and how, in his own might, no man shall be strong.
  • Then he read how Samuel's mother made him a little coat and brought it
  • to him from year to year when she came up to offer the yearly
  • sacrifice. And then, in her sweet simple way, George's mother made
  • commentaries to the boy upon this affecting story. How Hannah, though
  • she loved her son so much, yet gave him up because of her vow. And how
  • she must always have thought of him as she sat at home, far away,
  • making the little coat; and Samuel, she was sure, never forgot his
  • mother; and how happy she must have been as the time came (and the
  • years pass away very quick) when she should see her boy and how good
  • and wise he had grown. This little sermon she spoke with a gentle
  • solemn voice, and dry eyes, until she came to the account of their
  • meeting--then the discourse broke off suddenly, the tender heart
  • overflowed, and taking the boy to her breast, she rocked him in her
  • arms and wept silently over him in a sainted agony of tears.
  • Her mind being made up, the widow began to take such measures as seemed
  • right to her for advancing the end which she proposed. One day, Miss
  • Osborne, in Russell Square (Amelia had not written the name or number
  • of the house for ten years--her youth, her early story came back to her
  • as she wrote the superscription) one day Miss Osborne got a letter from
  • Amelia which made her blush very much and look towards her father,
  • sitting glooming in his place at the other end of the table.
  • In simple terms, Amelia told her the reasons which had induced her to
  • change her mind respecting her boy. Her father had met with fresh
  • misfortunes which had entirely ruined him. Her own pittance was so
  • small that it would barely enable her to support her parents and would
  • not suffice to give George the advantages which were his due. Great as
  • her sufferings would be at parting with him she would, by God's help,
  • endure them for the boy's sake. She knew that those to whom he was
  • going would do all in their power to make him happy. She described his
  • disposition, such as she fancied it--quick and impatient of control or
  • harshness, easily to be moved by love and kindness. In a postscript,
  • she stipulated that she should have a written agreement, that she
  • should see the child as often as she wished--she could not part with
  • him under any other terms.
  • "What? Mrs. Pride has come down, has she?" old Osborne said, when with
  • a tremulous eager voice Miss Osborne read him the letter. "Reg'lar
  • starved out, hey? Ha, ha! I knew she would." He tried to keep his
  • dignity and to read his paper as usual--but he could not follow it. He
  • chuckled and swore to himself behind the sheet.
  • At last he flung it down and, scowling at his daughter, as his wont
  • was, went out of the room into his study adjoining, from whence he
  • presently returned with a key. He flung it to Miss Osborne.
  • "Get the room over mine--his room that was--ready," he said. "Yes,
  • sir," his daughter replied in a tremble. It was George's room. It had
  • not been opened for more than ten years. Some of his clothes, papers,
  • handkerchiefs, whips and caps, fishing-rods and sporting gear, were
  • still there. An Army list of 1814, with his name written on the cover;
  • a little dictionary he was wont to use in writing; and the Bible his
  • mother had given him, were on the mantelpiece, with a pair of spurs and
  • a dried inkstand covered with the dust of ten years. Ah! since that
  • ink was wet, what days and people had passed away! The writing-book,
  • still on the table, was blotted with his hand.
  • Miss Osborne was much affected when she first entered this room with
  • the servants under her. She sank quite pale on the little bed. "This
  • is blessed news, m'am--indeed, m'am," the housekeeper said; "and the
  • good old times is returning, m'am. The dear little feller, to be sure,
  • m'am; how happy he will be! But some folks in May Fair, m'am, will owe
  • him a grudge, m'am"; and she clicked back the bolt which held the
  • window-sash and let the air into the chamber.
  • "You had better send that woman some money," Mr. Osborne said, before
  • he went out. "She shan't want for nothing. Send her a hundred pound."
  • "And I'll go and see her to-morrow?" Miss Osborne asked.
  • "That's your look out. She don't come in here, mind. No, by ------,
  • not for all the money in London. But she mustn't want now. So look
  • out, and get things right." With which brief speeches Mr. Osborne took
  • leave of his daughter and went on his accustomed way into the City.
  • "Here, Papa, is some money," Amelia said that night, kissing the old
  • man, her father, and putting a bill for a hundred pounds into his
  • hands. "And--and, Mamma, don't be harsh with Georgy. He--he is not
  • going to stop with us long." She could say nothing more, and walked
  • away silently to her room. Let us close it upon her prayers and her
  • sorrow. I think we had best speak little about so much love and grief.
  • Miss Osborne came the next day, according to the promise contained in
  • her note, and saw Amelia. The meeting between them was friendly. A
  • look and a few words from Miss Osborne showed the poor widow that, with
  • regard to this woman at least, there need be no fear lest she should
  • take the first place in her son's affection. She was cold, sensible,
  • not unkind. The mother had not been so well pleased, perhaps, had the
  • rival been better looking, younger, more affectionate, warmer-hearted.
  • Miss Osborne, on the other hand, thought of old times and memories and
  • could not but be touched with the poor mother's pitiful situation. She
  • was conquered, and laying down her arms, as it were, she humbly
  • submitted. That day they arranged together the preliminaries of the
  • treaty of capitulation.
  • George was kept from school the next day, and saw his aunt. Amelia
  • left them alone together and went to her room. She was trying the
  • separation--as that poor gentle Lady Jane Grey felt the edge of the axe
  • that was to come down and sever her slender life. Days were passed in
  • parleys, visits, preparations. The widow broke the matter to Georgy
  • with great caution; she looked to see him very much affected by the
  • intelligence. He was rather elated than otherwise, and the poor woman
  • turned sadly away. He bragged about the news that day to the boys at
  • school; told them how he was going to live with his grandpapa, his
  • father's father, not the one who comes here sometimes; and that he
  • would be very rich, and have a carriage, and a pony, and go to a much
  • finer school, and when he was rich he would buy Leader's pencil-case
  • and pay the tart-woman. The boy was the image of his father, as his
  • fond mother thought.
  • Indeed I have no heart, on account of our dear Amelia's sake, to go
  • through the story of George's last days at home.
  • At last the day came, the carriage drove up, the little humble packets
  • containing tokens of love and remembrance were ready and disposed in
  • the hall long since--George was in his new suit, for which the tailor
  • had come previously to measure him. He had sprung up with the sun and
  • put on the new clothes, his mother hearing him from the room close by,
  • in which she had been lying, in speechless grief and watching. Days
  • before she had been making preparations for the end, purchasing little
  • stores for the boy's use, marking his books and linen, talking with him
  • and preparing him for the change--fondly fancying that he needed
  • preparation.
  • So that he had change, what cared he? He was longing for it. By a
  • thousand eager declarations as to what he would do, when he went to
  • live with his grandfather, he had shown the poor widow how little the
  • idea of parting had cast him down. "He would come and see his mamma
  • often on the pony," he said. "He would come and fetch her in the
  • carriage; they would drive in the park, and she should have everything
  • she wanted." The poor mother was fain to content herself with these
  • selfish demonstrations of attachment, and tried to convince herself how
  • sincerely her son loved her. He must love her. All children were so:
  • a little anxious for novelty, and--no, not selfish, but self-willed.
  • Her child must have his enjoyments and ambition in the world. She
  • herself, by her own selfishness and imprudent love for him had denied
  • him his just rights and pleasures hitherto.
  • I know few things more affecting than that timorous debasement and
  • self-humiliation of a woman. How she owns that it is she and not the
  • man who is guilty; how she takes all the faults on her side; how she
  • courts in a manner punishment for the wrongs which she has not
  • committed and persists in shielding the real culprit! It is those who
  • injure women who get the most kindness from them--they are born timid
  • and tyrants and maltreat those who are humblest before them.
  • So poor Amelia had been getting ready in silent misery for her son's
  • departure, and had passed many and many a long solitary hour in making
  • preparations for the end. George stood by his mother, watching her
  • arrangements without the least concern. Tears had fallen into his
  • boxes; passages had been scored in his favourite books; old toys,
  • relics, treasures had been hoarded away for him, and packed with
  • strange neatness and care--and of all these things the boy took no
  • note. The child goes away smiling as the mother breaks her heart. By
  • heavens it is pitiful, the bootless love of women for children in
  • Vanity Fair.
  • A few days are past, and the great event of Amelia's life is
  • consummated. No angel has intervened. The child is sacrificed and
  • offered up to fate, and the widow is quite alone.
  • The boy comes to see her often, to be sure. He rides on a pony with a
  • coachman behind him, to the delight of his old grandfather, Sedley, who
  • walks proudly down the lane by his side. She sees him, but he is not
  • her boy any more. Why, he rides to see the boys at the little school,
  • too, and to show off before them his new wealth and splendour. In two
  • days he has adopted a slightly imperious air and patronizing manner.
  • He was born to command, his mother thinks, as his father was before him.
  • It is fine weather now. Of evenings on the days when he does not come,
  • she takes a long walk into London--yes, as far as Russell Square, and
  • rests on the stone by the railing of the garden opposite Mr. Osborne's
  • house. It is so pleasant and cool. She can look up and see the
  • drawing-room windows illuminated, and, at about nine o'clock, the
  • chamber in the upper story where Georgy sleeps. She knows--he has told
  • her. She prays there as the light goes out, prays with an humble
  • heart, and walks home shrinking and silent. She is very tired when she
  • comes home. Perhaps she will sleep the better for that long weary
  • walk, and she may dream about Georgy.
  • One Sunday she happened to be walking in Russell Square, at some
  • distance from Mr. Osborne's house (she could see it from a distance
  • though) when all the bells of Sabbath were ringing, and George and his
  • aunt came out to go to church; a little sweep asked for charity, and
  • the footman, who carried the books, tried to drive him away; but Georgy
  • stopped and gave him money. May God's blessing be on the boy! Emmy
  • ran round the square and, coming up to the sweep, gave him her mite
  • too. All the bells of Sabbath were ringing, and she followed them until
  • she came to the Foundling Church, into which she went. There she sat
  • in a place whence she could see the head of the boy under his father's
  • tombstone. Many hundred fresh children's voices rose up there and sang
  • hymns to the Father Beneficent, and little George's soul thrilled with
  • delight at the burst of glorious psalmody. His mother could not see
  • him for awhile, through the mist that dimmed her eyes.
  • CHAPTER LI
  • In Which a Charade Is Acted Which May or May Not Puzzle the Reader
  • After Becky's appearance at my Lord Steyne's private and select
  • parties, the claims of that estimable woman as regards fashion were
  • settled, and some of the very greatest and tallest doors in the
  • metropolis were speedily opened to her--doors so great and tall that
  • the beloved reader and writer hereof may hope in vain to enter at them.
  • Dear brethren, let us tremble before those august portals. I fancy
  • them guarded by grooms of the chamber with flaming silver forks with
  • which they prong all those who have not the right of the entree. They
  • say the honest newspaper-fellow who sits in the hall and takes down the
  • names of the great ones who are admitted to the feasts dies after a
  • little time. He can't survive the glare of fashion long. It scorches
  • him up, as the presence of Jupiter in full dress wasted that poor
  • imprudent Semele--a giddy moth of a creature who ruined herself by
  • venturing out of her natural atmosphere. Her myth ought to be taken to
  • heart amongst the Tyburnians, the Belgravians--her story, and perhaps
  • Becky's too. Ah, ladies!--ask the Reverend Mr. Thurifer if Belgravia is
  • not a sounding brass and Tyburnia a tinkling cymbal. These are
  • vanities. Even these will pass away. And some day or other (but it
  • will be after our time, thank goodness) Hyde Park Gardens will be no
  • better known than the celebrated horticultural outskirts of Babylon,
  • and Belgrave Square will be as desolate as Baker Street, or Tadmor in
  • the wilderness.
  • Ladies, are you aware that the great Pitt lived in Baker Street? What
  • would not your grandmothers have given to be asked to Lady Hester's
  • parties in that now decayed mansion? I have dined in it--moi qui vous
  • parle, I peopled the chamber with ghosts of the mighty dead. As we sat
  • soberly drinking claret there with men of to-day, the spirits of the
  • departed came in and took their places round the darksome board. The
  • pilot who weathered the storm tossed off great bumpers of spiritual
  • port; the shade of Dundas did not leave the ghost of a heeltap.
  • Addington sat bowing and smirking in a ghastly manner, and would not be
  • behindhand when the noiseless bottle went round; Scott, from under
  • bushy eyebrows, winked at the apparition of a beeswing; Wilberforce's
  • eyes went up to the ceiling, so that he did not seem to know how his
  • glass went up full to his mouth and came down empty; up to the ceiling
  • which was above us only yesterday, and which the great of the past days
  • have all looked at. They let the house as a furnished lodging now.
  • Yes, Lady Hester once lived in Baker Street, and lies asleep in the
  • wilderness. Eothen saw her there--not in Baker Street, but in the other
  • solitude.
  • It is all vanity to be sure, but who will not own to liking a little of
  • it? I should like to know what well-constituted mind, merely because it
  • is transitory, dislikes roast beef? That is a vanity, but may every man
  • who reads this have a wholesome portion of it through life, I beg:
  • aye, though my readers were five hundred thousand. Sit down, gentlemen,
  • and fall to, with a good hearty appetite; the fat, the lean, the gravy,
  • the horse-radish as you like it--don't spare it. Another glass of
  • wine, Jones, my boy--a little bit of the Sunday side. Yes, let us eat
  • our fill of the vain thing and be thankful therefor. And let us make
  • the best of Becky's aristocratic pleasures likewise--for these too,
  • like all other mortal delights, were but transitory.
  • The upshot of her visit to Lord Steyne was that His Highness the Prince
  • of Peterwaradin took occasion to renew his acquaintance with Colonel
  • Crawley, when they met on the next day at the Club, and to compliment
  • Mrs. Crawley in the Ring of Hyde Park with a profound salute of the
  • hat. She and her husband were invited immediately to one of the
  • Prince's small parties at Levant House, then occupied by His Highness
  • during the temporary absence from England of its noble proprietor. She
  • sang after dinner to a very little comite. The Marquis of Steyne was
  • present, paternally superintending the progress of his pupil.
  • At Levant House Becky met one of the finest gentlemen and greatest
  • ministers that Europe has produced--the Duc de la Jabotiere, then
  • Ambassador from the Most Christian King, and subsequently Minister to
  • that monarch. I declare I swell with pride as these august names are
  • transcribed by my pen, and I think in what brilliant company my dear
  • Becky is moving. She became a constant guest at the French Embassy,
  • where no party was considered to be complete without the presence of
  • the charming Madame Ravdonn Cravley. Messieurs de Truffigny (of the
  • Perigord family) and Champignac, both attaches of the Embassy, were
  • straightway smitten by the charms of the fair Colonel's wife, and both
  • declared, according to the wont of their nation (for who ever yet met a
  • Frenchman, come out of England, that has not left half a dozen families
  • miserable, and brought away as many hearts in his pocket-book?), both,
  • I say, declared that they were au mieux with the charming Madame
  • Ravdonn.
  • But I doubt the correctness of the assertion. Champignac was very fond
  • of ecarte, and made many parties with the Colonel of evenings, while
  • Becky was singing to Lord Steyne in the other room; and as for
  • Truffigny, it is a well-known fact that he dared not go to the
  • Travellers', where he owed money to the waiters, and if he had not had
  • the Embassy as a dining-place, the worthy young gentleman must have
  • starved. I doubt, I say, that Becky would have selected either of
  • these young men as a person on whom she would bestow her special
  • regard. They ran of her messages, purchased her gloves and flowers,
  • went in debt for opera-boxes for her, and made themselves amiable in a
  • thousand ways. And they talked English with adorable simplicity, and
  • to the constant amusement of Becky and my Lord Steyne, she would mimic
  • one or other to his face, and compliment him on his advance in the
  • English language with a gravity which never failed to tickle the
  • Marquis, her sardonic old patron. Truffigny gave Briggs a shawl by way
  • of winning over Becky's confidante, and asked her to take charge of a
  • letter which the simple spinster handed over in public to the person to
  • whom it was addressed, and the composition of which amused everybody
  • who read it greatly. Lord Steyne read it, everybody but honest Rawdon,
  • to whom it was not necessary to tell everything that passed in the
  • little house in May Fair.
  • Here, before long, Becky received not only "the best" foreigners (as
  • the phrase is in our noble and admirable society slang), but some of
  • the best English people too. I don't mean the most virtuous, or indeed
  • the least virtuous, or the cleverest, or the stupidest, or the richest,
  • or the best born, but "the best,"--in a word, people about whom there
  • is no question--such as the great Lady Fitz-Willis, that Patron Saint
  • of Almack's, the great Lady Slowbore, the great Lady Grizzel Macbeth
  • (she was Lady G. Glowry, daughter of Lord Grey of Glowry), and the
  • like. When the Countess of Fitz-Willis (her Ladyship is of the
  • Kingstreet family, see Debrett and Burke) takes up a person, he or she
  • is safe. There is no question about them any more. Not that my Lady
  • Fitz-Willis is any better than anybody else, being, on the contrary, a
  • faded person, fifty-seven years of age, and neither handsome, nor
  • wealthy, nor entertaining; but it is agreed on all sides that she is of
  • the "best people." Those who go to her are of the best: and from an
  • old grudge probably to Lady Steyne (for whose coronet her ladyship,
  • then the youthful Georgina Frederica, daughter of the Prince of Wales's
  • favourite, the Earl of Portansherry, had once tried), this great and
  • famous leader of the fashion chose to acknowledge Mrs. Rawdon Crawley;
  • made her a most marked curtsey at the assembly over which she presided;
  • and not only encouraged her son, St. Kitts (his lordship got his place
  • through Lord Steyne's interest), to frequent Mrs. Crawley's house, but
  • asked her to her own mansion and spoke to her twice in the most public
  • and condescending manner during dinner. The important fact was known
  • all over London that night. People who had been crying fie about Mrs.
  • Crawley were silent. Wenham, the wit and lawyer, Lord Steyne's
  • right-hand man, went about everywhere praising her: some who had
  • hesitated, came forward at once and welcomed her; little Tom Toady, who
  • had warned Southdown about visiting such an abandoned woman, now
  • besought to be introduced to her. In a word, she was admitted to be
  • among the "best" people. Ah, my beloved readers and brethren, do not
  • envy poor Becky prematurely--glory like this is said to be fugitive.
  • It is currently reported that even in the very inmost circles, they are
  • no happier than the poor wanderers outside the zone; and Becky, who
  • penetrated into the very centre of fashion and saw the great George IV
  • face to face, has owned since that there too was Vanity.
  • We must be brief in descanting upon this part of her career. As I
  • cannot describe the mysteries of freemasonry, although I have a shrewd
  • idea that it is a humbug, so an uninitiated man cannot take upon
  • himself to portray the great world accurately, and had best keep his
  • opinions to himself, whatever they are.
  • Becky has often spoken in subsequent years of this season of her life,
  • when she moved among the very greatest circles of the London fashion.
  • Her success excited, elated, and then bored her. At first no
  • occupation was more pleasant than to invent and procure (the latter a
  • work of no small trouble and ingenuity, by the way, in a person of Mrs.
  • Rawdon Crawley's very narrow means)--to procure, we say, the prettiest
  • new dresses and ornaments; to drive to fine dinner parties, where she
  • was welcomed by great people; and from the fine dinner parties to fine
  • assemblies, whither the same people came with whom she had been dining,
  • whom she had met the night before, and would see on the morrow--the
  • young men faultlessly appointed, handsomely cravatted, with the neatest
  • glossy boots and white gloves--the elders portly, brass-buttoned,
  • noble-looking, polite, and prosy--the young ladies blonde, timid, and
  • in pink--the mothers grand, beautiful, sumptuous, solemn, and in
  • diamonds. They talked in English, not in bad French, as they do in the
  • novels. They talked about each others' houses, and characters, and
  • families--just as the Joneses do about the Smiths. Becky's former
  • acquaintances hated and envied her; the poor woman herself was yawning
  • in spirit. "I wish I were out of it," she said to herself. "I would
  • rather be a parson's wife and teach a Sunday school than this; or a
  • sergeant's lady and ride in the regimental waggon; or, oh, how much
  • gayer it would be to wear spangles and trousers and dance before a
  • booth at a fair."
  • "You would do it very well," said Lord Steyne, laughing. She used to
  • tell the great man her ennuis and perplexities in her artless way--they
  • amused him.
  • "Rawdon would make a very good Ecuyer--Master of the Ceremonies--what
  • do you call him--the man in the large boots and the uniform, who goes
  • round the ring cracking the whip? He is large, heavy, and of a military
  • figure. I recollect," Becky continued pensively, "my father took me to
  • see a show at Brookgreen Fair when I was a child, and when we came
  • home, I made myself a pair of stilts and danced in the studio to the
  • wonder of all the pupils."
  • "I should have liked to see it," said Lord Steyne.
  • "I should like to do it now," Becky continued. "How Lady Blinkey would
  • open her eyes, and Lady Grizzel Macbeth would stare! Hush! silence!
  • there is Pasta beginning to sing." Becky always made a point of being
  • conspicuously polite to the professional ladies and gentlemen who
  • attended at these aristocratic parties--of following them into the
  • corners where they sat in silence, and shaking hands with them, and
  • smiling in the view of all persons. She was an artist herself, as she
  • said very truly; there was a frankness and humility in the manner in
  • which she acknowledged her origin, which provoked, or disarmed, or
  • amused lookers-on, as the case might be. "How cool that woman is," said
  • one; "what airs of independence she assumes, where she ought to sit
  • still and be thankful if anybody speaks to her!" "What an honest and
  • good-natured soul she is!" said another. "What an artful little minx"
  • said a third. They were all right very likely, but Becky went her own
  • way, and so fascinated the professional personages that they would
  • leave off their sore throats in order to sing at her parties and give
  • her lessons for nothing.
  • Yes, she gave parties in the little house in Curzon Street. Many
  • scores of carriages, with blazing lamps, blocked up the street, to the
  • disgust of No. 100, who could not rest for the thunder of the knocking,
  • and of 102, who could not sleep for envy. The gigantic footmen who
  • accompanied the vehicles were too big to be contained in Becky's little
  • hall, and were billeted off in the neighbouring public-houses, whence,
  • when they were wanted, call-boys summoned them from their beer. Scores
  • of the great dandies of London squeezed and trod on each other on the
  • little stairs, laughing to find themselves there; and many spotless and
  • severe ladies of ton were seated in the little drawing-room, listening
  • to the professional singers, who were singing according to their wont,
  • and as if they wished to blow the windows down. And the day after,
  • there appeared among the fashionable reunions in the Morning Post a
  • paragraph to the following effect:
  • "Yesterday, Colonel and Mrs. Crawley entertained a select party at
  • dinner at their house in May Fair. Their Excellencies the Prince and
  • Princess of Peterwaradin, H. E. Papoosh Pasha, the Turkish Ambassador
  • (attended by Kibob Bey, dragoman of the mission), the Marquess of
  • Steyne, Earl of Southdown, Sir Pitt and Lady Jane Crawley, Mr. Wagg,
  • &c. After dinner Mrs. Crawley had an assembly which was attended by
  • the Duchess (Dowager) of Stilton, Duc de la Gruyere, Marchioness of
  • Cheshire, Marchese Alessandro Strachino, Comte de Brie, Baron
  • Schapzuger, Chevalier Tosti, Countess of Slingstone, and Lady F.
  • Macadam, Major-General and Lady G. Macbeth, and (2) Miss Macbeths;
  • Viscount Paddington, Sir Horace Fogey, Hon. Sands Bedwin, Bobachy
  • Bahawder," and an &c., which the reader may fill at his pleasure
  • through a dozen close lines of small type.
  • And in her commerce with the great our dear friend showed the same
  • frankness which distinguished her transactions with the lowly in
  • station. On one occasion, when out at a very fine house, Rebecca was
  • (perhaps rather ostentatiously) holding a conversation in the French
  • language with a celebrated tenor singer of that nation, while the Lady
  • Grizzel Macbeth looked over her shoulder scowling at the pair.
  • "How very well you speak French," Lady Grizzel said, who herself spoke
  • the tongue in an Edinburgh accent most remarkable to hear.
  • "I ought to know it," Becky modestly said, casting down her eyes. "I
  • taught it in a school, and my mother was a Frenchwoman."
  • Lady Grizzel was won by her humility and was mollified towards the
  • little woman. She deplored the fatal levelling tendencies of the age,
  • which admitted persons of all classes into the society of their
  • superiors, but her ladyship owned that this one at least was well
  • behaved and never forgot her place in life. She was a very good woman:
  • good to the poor; stupid, blameless, unsuspicious. It is not her
  • ladyship's fault that she fancies herself better than you and me. The
  • skirts of her ancestors' garments have been kissed for centuries; it is
  • a thousand years, they say, since the tartans of the head of the family
  • were embraced by the defunct Duncan's lords and councillors, when the
  • great ancestor of the House became King of Scotland.
  • Lady Steyne, after the music scene, succumbed before Becky, and perhaps
  • was not disinclined to her. The younger ladies of the house of Gaunt
  • were also compelled into submission. Once or twice they set people at
  • her, but they failed. The brilliant Lady Stunnington tried a passage
  • of arms with her, but was routed with great slaughter by the intrepid
  • little Becky. When attacked sometimes, Becky had a knack of adopting a
  • demure ingenue air, under which she was most dangerous. She said the
  • wickedest things with the most simple unaffected air when in this mood,
  • and would take care artlessly to apologize for her blunders, so that
  • all the world should know that she had made them.
  • Mr. Wagg, the celebrated wit, and a led captain and trencher-man of my
  • Lord Steyne, was caused by the ladies to charge her; and the worthy
  • fellow, leering at his patronesses and giving them a wink, as much as
  • to say, "Now look out for sport," one evening began an assault upon
  • Becky, who was unsuspiciously eating her dinner. The little woman,
  • attacked on a sudden, but never without arms, lighted up in an instant,
  • parried and riposted with a home-thrust, which made Wagg's face tingle
  • with shame; then she returned to her soup with the most perfect calm
  • and a quiet smile on her face. Wagg's great patron, who gave him
  • dinners and lent him a little money sometimes, and whose election,
  • newspaper, and other jobs Wagg did, gave the luckless fellow such a
  • savage glance with the eyes as almost made him sink under the table and
  • burst into tears. He looked piteously at my lord, who never spoke to
  • him during dinner, and at the ladies, who disowned him. At last Becky
  • herself took compassion upon him and tried to engage him in talk. He
  • was not asked to dinner again for six weeks; and Fiche, my lord's
  • confidential man, to whom Wagg naturally paid a good deal of court, was
  • instructed to tell him that if he ever dared to say a rude thing to
  • Mrs. Crawley again, or make her the butt of his stupid jokes, Milor
  • would put every one of his notes of hand into his lawyer's hands and
  • sell him up without mercy. Wagg wept before Fiche and implored his
  • dear friend to intercede for him. He wrote a poem in favour of Mrs. R.
  • C., which appeared in the very next number of the Harum-scarum
  • Magazine, which he conducted. He implored her good-will at parties
  • where he met her. He cringed and coaxed Rawdon at the club. He was
  • allowed to come back to Gaunt House after a while. Becky was always
  • good to him, always amused, never angry.
  • His lordship's vizier and chief confidential servant (with a seat in
  • parliament and at the dinner table), Mr. Wenham, was much more prudent
  • in his behaviour and opinions than Mr. Wagg. However much he might be
  • disposed to hate all parvenus (Mr. Wenham himself was a staunch old
  • True Blue Tory, and his father a small coal-merchant in the north of
  • England), this aide-de-camp of the Marquis never showed any sort of
  • hostility to the new favourite, but pursued her with stealthy
  • kindnesses and a sly and deferential politeness which somehow made
  • Becky more uneasy than other people's overt hostilities.
  • How the Crawleys got the money which was spent upon the entertainments
  • with which they treated the polite world was a mystery which gave rise
  • to some conversation at the time, and probably added zest to these
  • little festivities. Some persons averred that Sir Pitt Crawley gave
  • his brother a handsome allowance; if he did, Becky's power over the
  • Baronet must have been extraordinary indeed, and his character greatly
  • changed in his advanced age. Other parties hinted that it was Becky's
  • habit to levy contributions on all her husband's friends: going to this
  • one in tears with an account that there was an execution in the house;
  • falling on her knees to that one and declaring that the whole family
  • must go to gaol or commit suicide unless such and such a bill could be
  • paid. Lord Southdown, it was said, had been induced to give many
  • hundreds through these pathetic representations. Young Feltham, of the
  • --th Dragoons (and son of the firm of Tiler and Feltham, hatters and
  • army accoutrement makers), and whom the Crawleys introduced into
  • fashionable life, was also cited as one of Becky's victims in the
  • pecuniary way. People declared that she got money from various simply
  • disposed persons, under pretence of getting them confidential
  • appointments under Government. Who knows what stories were or were not
  • told of our dear and innocent friend? Certain it is that if she had had
  • all the money which she was said to have begged or borrowed or stolen,
  • she might have capitalized and been honest for life, whereas,--but this
  • is advancing matters.
  • The truth is, that by economy and good management--by a sparing use of
  • ready money and by paying scarcely anybody--people can manage, for a
  • time at least, to make a great show with very little means: and it is
  • our belief that Becky's much-talked-of parties, which were not, after
  • all was said, very numerous, cost this lady very little more than the
  • wax candles which lighted the walls. Stillbrook and Queen's Crawley
  • supplied her with game and fruit in abundance. Lord Steyne's cellars
  • were at her disposal, and that excellent nobleman's famous cooks
  • presided over her little kitchen, or sent by my lord's order the rarest
  • delicacies from their own. I protest it is quite shameful in the world
  • to abuse a simple creature, as people of her time abuse Becky, and I
  • warn the public against believing one-tenth of the stories against her.
  • If every person is to be banished from society who runs into debt and
  • cannot pay--if we are to be peering into everybody's private life,
  • speculating upon their income, and cutting them if we don't approve of
  • their expenditure--why, what a howling wilderness and intolerable
  • dwelling Vanity Fair would be! Every man's hand would be against his
  • neighbour in this case, my dear sir, and the benefits of civilization
  • would be done away with. We should be quarrelling, abusing, avoiding
  • one another. Our houses would become caverns, and we should go in rags
  • because we cared for nobody. Rents would go down. Parties wouldn't be
  • given any more. All the tradesmen of the town would be bankrupt. Wine,
  • wax-lights, comestibles, rouge, crinoline-petticoats, diamonds, wigs,
  • Louis-Quatorze gimcracks, and old china, park hacks, and splendid
  • high-stepping carriage horses--all the delights of life, I say,--would
  • go to the deuce, if people did but act upon their silly principles and
  • avoid those whom they dislike and abuse. Whereas, by a little charity
  • and mutual forbearance, things are made to go on pleasantly enough: we
  • may abuse a man as much as we like, and call him the greatest rascal
  • unhanged--but do we wish to hang him therefore? No. We shake hands when
  • we meet. If his cook is good we forgive him and go and dine with him,
  • and we expect he will do the same by us. Thus trade
  • flourishes--civilization advances; peace is kept; new dresses are
  • wanted for new assemblies every week; and the last year's vintage of
  • Lafitte will remunerate the honest proprietor who reared it.
  • At the time whereof we are writing, though the Great George was on the
  • throne and ladies wore gigots and large combs like tortoise-shell
  • shovels in their hair, instead of the simple sleeves and lovely wreaths
  • which are actually in fashion, the manners of the very polite world
  • were not, I take it, essentially different from those of the present
  • day: and their amusements pretty similar. To us, from the outside,
  • gazing over the policeman's shoulders at the bewildering beauties as
  • they pass into Court or ball, they may seem beings of unearthly
  • splendour and in the enjoyment of an exquisite happiness by us
  • unattainable. It is to console some of these dissatisfied beings that
  • we are narrating our dear Becky's struggles, and triumphs, and
  • disappointments, of all of which, indeed, as is the case with all
  • persons of merit, she had her share.
  • At this time the amiable amusement of acting charades had come among us
  • from France, and was considerably in vogue in this country, enabling
  • the many ladies amongst us who had beauty to display their charms, and
  • the fewer number who had cleverness to exhibit their wit. My Lord
  • Steyne was incited by Becky, who perhaps believed herself endowed with
  • both the above qualifications, to give an entertainment at Gaunt House,
  • which should include some of these little dramas--and we must take
  • leave to introduce the reader to this brilliant reunion, and, with a
  • melancholy welcome too, for it will be among the very last of the
  • fashionable entertainments to which it will be our fortune to conduct
  • him.
  • A portion of that splendid room, the picture gallery of Gaunt House,
  • was arranged as the charade theatre. It had been so used when George
  • III was king; and a picture of the Marquis of Gaunt is still extant,
  • with his hair in powder and a pink ribbon, in a Roman shape, as it was
  • called, enacting the part of Cato in Mr. Addison's tragedy of that
  • name, performed before their Royal Highnesses the Prince of Wales, the
  • Bishop of Osnaburgh, and Prince William Henry, then children like the
  • actor. One or two of the old properties were drawn out of the garrets,
  • where they had lain ever since, and furbished up anew for the present
  • festivities.
  • Young Bedwin Sands, then an elegant dandy and Eastern traveller, was
  • manager of the revels. An Eastern traveller was somebody in those
  • days, and the adventurous Bedwin, who had published his quarto and
  • passed some months under the tents in the desert, was a personage of no
  • small importance. In his volume there were several pictures of Sands
  • in various oriental costumes; and he travelled about with a black
  • attendant of most unprepossessing appearance, just like another Brian
  • de Bois Guilbert. Bedwin, his costumes, and black man, were hailed at
  • Gaunt House as very valuable acquisitions.
  • He led off the first charade. A Turkish officer with an immense plume
  • of feathers (the Janizaries were supposed to be still in existence, and
  • the tarboosh had not as yet displaced the ancient and majestic
  • head-dress of the true believers) was seen couched on a divan, and
  • making believe to puff at a narghile, in which, however, for the sake
  • of the ladies, only a fragrant pastille was allowed to smoke. The
  • Turkish dignitary yawns and expresses signs of weariness and idleness.
  • He claps his hands and Mesrour the Nubian appears, with bare arms,
  • bangles, yataghans, and every Eastern ornament--gaunt, tall, and
  • hideous. He makes a salaam before my lord the Aga.
  • A thrill of terror and delight runs through the assembly. The ladies
  • whisper to one another. The black slave was given to Bedwin Sands by
  • an Egyptian pasha in exchange for three dozen of Maraschino. He has
  • sewn up ever so many odalisques in sacks and tilted them into the Nile.
  • "Bid the slave-merchant enter," says the Turkish voluptuary with a wave
  • of his hand. Mesrour conducts the slave-merchant into my lord's
  • presence; he brings a veiled female with him. He removes the veil. A
  • thrill of applause bursts through the house. It is Mrs. Winkworth (she
  • was a Miss Absolom) with the beautiful eyes and hair. She is in a
  • gorgeous oriental costume; the black braided locks are twined with
  • innumerable jewels; her dress is covered over with gold piastres. The
  • odious Mahometan expresses himself charmed by her beauty. She falls
  • down on her knees and entreats him to restore her to the mountains
  • where she was born, and where her Circassian lover is still deploring
  • the absence of his Zuleikah. No entreaties will move the obdurate
  • Hassan. He laughs at the notion of the Circassian bridegroom. Zuleikah
  • covers her face with her hands and drops down in an attitude of the
  • most beautiful despair. There seems to be no hope for her, when--when
  • the Kislar Aga appears.
  • The Kislar Aga brings a letter from the Sultan. Hassan receives and
  • places on his head the dread firman. A ghastly terror seizes him,
  • while on the Negro's face (it is Mesrour again in another costume)
  • appears a ghastly joy. "Mercy! mercy!" cries the Pasha: while the
  • Kislar Aga, grinning horribly, pulls out--a bow-string.
  • The curtain draws just as he is going to use that awful weapon. Hassan
  • from within bawls out, "First two syllables"--and Mrs. Rawdon Crawley,
  • who is going to act in the charade, comes forward and compliments Mrs.
  • Winkworth on the admirable taste and beauty of her costume.
  • The second part of the charade takes place. It is still an Eastern
  • scene. Hassan, in another dress, is in an attitude by Zuleikah, who is
  • perfectly reconciled to him. The Kislar Aga has become a peaceful black
  • slave. It is sunrise on the desert, and the Turks turn their heads
  • eastwards and bow to the sand. As there are no dromedaries at hand,
  • the band facetiously plays "The Camels are coming." An enormous
  • Egyptian head figures in the scene. It is a musical one--and, to the
  • surprise of the oriental travellers, sings a comic song, composed by
  • Mr. Wagg. The Eastern voyagers go off dancing, like Papageno and the
  • Moorish King in The Magic Flute. "Last two syllables," roars the head.
  • The last act opens. It is a Grecian tent this time. A tall and
  • stalwart man reposes on a couch there. Above him hang his helmet and
  • shield. There is no need for them now. Ilium is down. Iphigenia is
  • slain. Cassandra is a prisoner in his outer halls. The king of men (it
  • is Colonel Crawley, who, indeed, has no notion about the sack of Ilium
  • or the conquest of Cassandra), the anax andron is asleep in his chamber
  • at Argos. A lamp casts the broad shadow of the sleeping warrior
  • flickering on the wall--the sword and shield of Troy glitter in its
  • light. The band plays the awful music of Don Juan, before the statue
  • enters.
  • Aegisthus steals in pale and on tiptoe. What is that ghastly face
  • looking out balefully after him from behind the arras? He raises his
  • dagger to strike the sleeper, who turns in his bed, and opens his broad
  • chest as if for the blow. He cannot strike the noble slumbering
  • chieftain. Clytemnestra glides swiftly into the room like an
  • apparition--her arms are bare and white--her tawny hair floats down her
  • shoulders--her face is deadly pale--and her eyes are lighted up with a
  • smile so ghastly that people quake as they look at her.
  • A tremor ran through the room. "Good God!" somebody said, "it's Mrs.
  • Rawdon Crawley."
  • Scornfully she snatches the dagger out of Aegisthus's hand and advances
  • to the bed. You see it shining over her head in the glimmer of the
  • lamp, and--and the lamp goes out, with a groan, and all is dark.
  • The darkness and the scene frightened people. Rebecca performed her
  • part so well, and with such ghastly truth, that the spectators were all
  • dumb, until, with a burst, all the lamps of the hall blazed out again,
  • when everybody began to shout applause. "Brava! brava!" old Steyne's
  • strident voice was heard roaring over all the rest. "By--, she'd do it
  • too," he said between his teeth. The performers were called by the
  • whole house, which sounded with cries of "Manager! Clytemnestra!"
  • Agamemnon could not be got to show in his classical tunic, but stood in
  • the background with Aegisthus and others of the performers of the
  • little play. Mr. Bedwin Sands led on Zuleikah and Clytemnestra. A
  • great personage insisted on being presented to the charming
  • Clytemnestra. "Heigh ha? Run him through the body. Marry somebody
  • else, hay?" was the apposite remark made by His Royal Highness.
  • "Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was quite killing in the part," said Lord Steyne.
  • Becky laughed, gay and saucy looking, and swept the prettiest little
  • curtsey ever seen.
  • Servants brought in salvers covered with numerous cool dainties, and
  • the performers disappeared to get ready for the second charade-tableau.
  • The three syllables of this charade were to be depicted in pantomime,
  • and the performance took place in the following wise:
  • First syllable. Colonel Rawdon Crawley, C.B., with a slouched hat and
  • a staff, a great-coat, and a lantern borrowed from the stables, passed
  • across the stage bawling out, as if warning the inhabitants of the
  • hour. In the lower window are seen two bagmen playing apparently at
  • the game of cribbage, over which they yawn much. To them enters one
  • looking like Boots (the Honourable G. Ringwood), which character the
  • young gentleman performed to perfection, and divests them of their
  • lower coverings; and presently Chambermaid (the Right Honourable Lord
  • Southdown) with two candlesticks, and a warming-pan. She ascends to
  • the upper apartment and warms the bed. She uses the warming-pan as a
  • weapon wherewith she wards off the attention of the bagmen. She exits.
  • They put on their night-caps and pull down the blinds. Boots comes out
  • and closes the shutters of the ground-floor chamber. You hear him
  • bolting and chaining the door within. All the lights go out. The
  • music plays Dormez, dormez, chers Amours. A voice from behind the
  • curtain says, "First syllable."
  • Second syllable. The lamps are lighted up all of a sudden. The music
  • plays the old air from John of Paris, Ah quel plaisir d'etre en voyage.
  • It is the same scene. Between the first and second floors of the house
  • represented, you behold a sign on which the Steyne arms are painted.
  • All the bells are ringing all over the house. In the lower apartment
  • you see a man with a long slip of paper presenting it to another, who
  • shakes his fists, threatens and vows that it is monstrous. "Ostler,
  • bring round my gig," cries another at the door. He chucks Chambermaid
  • (the Right Honourable Lord Southdown) under the chin; she seems to
  • deplore his absence, as Calypso did that of that other eminent
  • traveller Ulysses. Boots (the Honourable G. Ringwood) passes with a
  • wooden box, containing silver flagons, and cries "Pots" with such
  • exquisite humour and naturalness that the whole house rings with
  • applause, and a bouquet is thrown to him. Crack, crack, crack, go the
  • whips. Landlord, chambermaid, waiter rush to the door, but just as
  • some distinguished guest is arriving, the curtains close, and the
  • invisible theatrical manager cries out "Second syllable."
  • "I think it must be 'Hotel,'" says Captain Grigg of the Life Guards;
  • there is a general laugh at the Captain's cleverness. He is not very
  • far from the mark.
  • While the third syllable is in preparation, the band begins a nautical
  • medley--"All in the Downs," "Cease Rude Boreas," "Rule Britannia," "In
  • the Bay of Biscay O!"--some maritime event is about to take place. A
  • bell is heard ringing as the curtain draws aside. "Now, gents, for the
  • shore!" a voice exclaims. People take leave of each other. They point
  • anxiously as if towards the clouds, which are represented by a dark
  • curtain, and they nod their heads in fear. Lady Squeams (the Right
  • Honourable Lord Southdown), her lap-dog, her bags, reticules, and
  • husband sit down, and cling hold of some ropes. It is evidently a ship.
  • The Captain (Colonel Crawley, C.B.), with a cocked hat and a telescope,
  • comes in, holding his hat on his head, and looks out; his coat tails
  • fly about as if in the wind. When he leaves go of his hat to use his
  • telescope, his hat flies off, with immense applause. It is blowing
  • fresh. The music rises and whistles louder and louder; the mariners go
  • across the stage staggering, as if the ship was in severe motion. The
  • Steward (the Honourable G. Ringwood) passes reeling by, holding six
  • basins. He puts one rapidly by Lord Squeams--Lady Squeams, giving a
  • pinch to her dog, which begins to howl piteously, puts her
  • pocket-handkerchief to her face, and rushes away as for the cabin. The
  • music rises up to the wildest pitch of stormy excitement, and the third
  • syllable is concluded.
  • There was a little ballet, "Le Rossignol," in which Montessu and Noblet
  • used to be famous in those days, and which Mr. Wagg transferred to the
  • English stage as an opera, putting his verse, of which he was a skilful
  • writer, to the pretty airs of the ballet. It was dressed in old French
  • costume, and little Lord Southdown now appeared admirably attired in
  • the disguise of an old woman hobbling about the stage with a faultless
  • crooked stick.
  • Trills of melody were heard behind the scenes, and gurgling from a
  • sweet pasteboard cottage covered with roses and trellis work.
  • "Philomele, Philomele," cries the old woman, and Philomele comes out.
  • More applause--it is Mrs. Rawdon Crawley in powder and patches, the
  • most ravissante little Marquise in the world.
  • She comes in laughing, humming, and frisks about the stage with all the
  • innocence of theatrical youth--she makes a curtsey. Mamma says "Why,
  • child, you are always laughing and singing," and away she goes, with--
  • THE ROSE UPON MY BALCONY
  • The rose upon my balcony the morning air perfuming
  • Was leafless all the winter time and pining for the spring;
  • You ask me why her breath is sweet and why her cheek is blooming,
  • It is because the sun is out and birds begin to sing.
  • The nightingale, whose melody is through the greenwood ringing,
  • Was silent when the boughs were bare and winds were blowing keen:
  • And if, Mamma, you ask of me the reason of his singing,
  • It is because the sun is out and all the leaves are green.
  • Thus each performs his part, Mamma, the birds have found their voices,
  • The blowing rose a flush, Mamma, her bonny cheek to dye;
  • And there's sunshine in my heart, Mamma, which wakens and rejoices,
  • And so I sing and blush, Mamma, and that's the reason why.
  • During the intervals of the stanzas of this ditty, the good-natured
  • personage addressed as Mamma by the singer, and whose large whiskers
  • appeared under her cap, seemed very anxious to exhibit her maternal
  • affection by embracing the innocent creature who performed the
  • daughter's part. Every caress was received with loud acclamations of
  • laughter by the sympathizing audience. At its conclusion (while the
  • music was performing a symphony as if ever so many birds were warbling)
  • the whole house was unanimous for an encore: and applause and bouquets
  • without end were showered upon the Nightingale of the evening. Lord
  • Steyne's voice of applause was loudest of all. Becky, the nightingale,
  • took the flowers which he threw to her and pressed them to her heart
  • with the air of a consummate comedian. Lord Steyne was frantic with
  • delight. His guests' enthusiasm harmonized with his own. Where was
  • the beautiful black-eyed Houri whose appearance in the first charade
  • had caused such delight? She was twice as handsome as Becky, but the
  • brilliancy of the latter had quite eclipsed her. All voices were for
  • her. Stephens, Caradori, Ronzi de Begnis, people compared her to one
  • or the other, and agreed with good reason, very likely, that had she
  • been an actress none on the stage could have surpassed her. She had
  • reached her culmination: her voice rose trilling and bright over the
  • storm of applause, and soared as high and joyful as her triumph. There
  • was a ball after the dramatic entertainments, and everybody pressed
  • round Becky as the great point of attraction of the evening. The Royal
  • Personage declared with an oath that she was perfection, and engaged
  • her again and again in conversation. Little Becky's soul swelled with
  • pride and delight at these honours; she saw fortune, fame, fashion
  • before her. Lord Steyne was her slave, followed her everywhere, and
  • scarcely spoke to any one in the room beside, and paid her the most
  • marked compliments and attention. She still appeared in her Marquise
  • costume and danced a minuet with Monsieur de Truffigny, Monsieur Le Duc
  • de la Jabotiere's attache; and the Duke, who had all the traditions of
  • the ancient court, pronounced that Madame Crawley was worthy to have
  • been a pupil of Vestris, or to have figured at Versailles. Only a
  • feeling of dignity, the gout, and the strongest sense of duty and
  • personal sacrifice prevented his Excellency from dancing with her
  • himself, and he declared in public that a lady who could talk and dance
  • like Mrs. Rawdon was fit to be ambassadress at any court in Europe. He
  • was only consoled when he heard that she was half a Frenchwoman by
  • birth. "None but a compatriot," his Excellency declared, "could have
  • performed that majestic dance in such a way."
  • Then she figured in a waltz with Monsieur de Klingenspohr, the Prince
  • of Peterwaradin's cousin and attache. The delighted Prince, having
  • less retenue than his French diplomatic colleague, insisted upon taking
  • a turn with the charming creature, and twirled round the ball-room with
  • her, scattering the diamonds out of his boot-tassels and hussar jacket
  • until his Highness was fairly out of breath. Papoosh Pasha himself
  • would have liked to dance with her if that amusement had been the
  • custom of his country. The company made a circle round her and
  • applauded as wildly as if she had been a Noblet or a Taglioni.
  • Everybody was in ecstacy; and Becky too, you may be sure. She passed
  • by Lady Stunnington with a look of scorn. She patronized Lady Gaunt
  • and her astonished and mortified sister-in-law--she ecrased all rival
  • charmers. As for poor Mrs. Winkworth, and her long hair and great
  • eyes, which had made such an effect at the commencement of the
  • evening--where was she now? Nowhere in the race. She might tear her
  • long hair and cry her great eyes out, but there was not a person to
  • heed or to deplore the discomfiture.
  • The greatest triumph of all was at supper time. She was placed at the
  • grand exclusive table with his Royal Highness the exalted personage
  • before mentioned, and the rest of the great guests. She was served on
  • gold plate. She might have had pearls melted into her champagne if she
  • liked--another Cleopatra--and the potentate of Peterwaradin would have
  • given half the brilliants off his jacket for a kind glance from those
  • dazzling eyes. Jabotiere wrote home about her to his government. The
  • ladies at the other tables, who supped off mere silver and marked Lord
  • Steyne's constant attention to her, vowed it was a monstrous
  • infatuation, a gross insult to ladies of rank. If sarcasm could have
  • killed, Lady Stunnington would have slain her on the spot.
  • Rawdon Crawley was scared at these triumphs. They seemed to separate
  • his wife farther than ever from him somehow. He thought with a feeling
  • very like pain how immeasurably she was his superior.
  • When the hour of departure came, a crowd of young men followed her to
  • her carriage, for which the people without bawled, the cry being caught
  • up by the link-men who were stationed outside the tall gates of Gaunt
  • House, congratulating each person who issued from the gate and hoping
  • his Lordship had enjoyed this noble party.
  • Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's carriage, coming up to the gate after due
  • shouting, rattled into the illuminated court-yard and drove up to the
  • covered way. Rawdon put his wife into the carriage, which drove off.
  • Mr. Wenham had proposed to him to walk home, and offered the Colonel
  • the refreshment of a cigar.
  • They lighted their cigars by the lamp of one of the many link-boys
  • outside, and Rawdon walked on with his friend Wenham. Two persons
  • separated from the crowd and followed the two gentlemen; and when they
  • had walked down Gaunt Square a few score of paces, one of the men came
  • up and, touching Rawdon on the shoulder, said, "Beg your pardon,
  • Colonel, I vish to speak to you most particular." This gentleman's
  • acquaintance gave a loud whistle as the latter spoke, at which signal a
  • cab came clattering up from those stationed at the gate of Gaunt
  • House--and the aide-de-camp ran round and placed himself in front of
  • Colonel Crawley.
  • That gallant officer at once knew what had befallen him. He was in the
  • hands of the bailiffs. He started back, falling against the man who
  • had first touched him.
  • "We're three on us--it's no use bolting," the man behind said.
  • "It's you, Moss, is it?" said the Colonel, who appeared to know his
  • interlocutor. "How much is it?"
  • "Only a small thing," whispered Mr. Moss, of Cursitor Street, Chancery
  • Lane, and assistant officer to the Sheriff of Middlesex--"One hundred
  • and sixty-six, six and eight-pence, at the suit of Mr. Nathan."
  • "Lend me a hundred, Wenham, for God's sake," poor Rawdon said--"I've
  • got seventy at home."
  • "I've not got ten pounds in the world," said poor Mr. Wenham--"Good
  • night, my dear fellow."
  • "Good night," said Rawdon ruefully. And Wenham walked away--and Rawdon
  • Crawley finished his cigar as the cab drove under Temple Bar.
  • CHAPTER LII
  • In Which Lord Steyne Shows Himself in a Most Amiable Light
  • When Lord Steyne was benevolently disposed, he did nothing by halves,
  • and his kindness towards the Crawley family did the greatest honour to
  • his benevolent discrimination. His lordship extended his good-will to
  • little Rawdon: he pointed out to the boy's parents the necessity of
  • sending him to a public school, that he was of an age now when
  • emulation, the first principles of the Latin language, pugilistic
  • exercises, and the society of his fellow-boys would be of the greatest
  • benefit to the boy. His father objected that he was not rich enough to
  • send the child to a good public school; his mother that Briggs was a
  • capital mistress for him, and had brought him on (as indeed was the
  • fact) famously in English, the Latin rudiments, and in general
  • learning: but all these objections disappeared before the generous
  • perseverance of the Marquis of Steyne. His lordship was one of the
  • governors of that famous old collegiate institution called the
  • Whitefriars. It had been a Cistercian Convent in old days, when the
  • Smithfield, which is contiguous to it, was a tournament ground.
  • Obstinate heretics used to be brought thither convenient for burning
  • hard by. Henry VIII, the Defender of the Faith, seized upon the
  • monastery and its possessions and hanged and tortured some of the monks
  • who could not accommodate themselves to the pace of his reform.
  • Finally, a great merchant bought the house and land adjoining, in
  • which, and with the help of other wealthy endowments of land and money,
  • he established a famous foundation hospital for old men and children.
  • An extern school grew round the old almost monastic foundation, which
  • subsists still with its middle-age costume and usages--and all
  • Cistercians pray that it may long flourish.
  • Of this famous house, some of the greatest noblemen, prelates, and
  • dignitaries in England are governors: and as the boys are very
  • comfortably lodged, fed, and educated, and subsequently inducted to
  • good scholarships at the University and livings in the Church, many
  • little gentlemen are devoted to the ecclesiastical profession from
  • their tenderest years, and there is considerable emulation to procure
  • nominations for the foundation. It was originally intended for the
  • sons of poor and deserving clerics and laics, but many of the noble
  • governors of the Institution, with an enlarged and rather capricious
  • benevolence, selected all sorts of objects for their bounty. To get an
  • education for nothing, and a future livelihood and profession assured,
  • was so excellent a scheme that some of the richest people did not
  • disdain it; and not only great men's relations, but great men
  • themselves, sent their sons to profit by the chance--Right Rev.
  • prelates sent their own kinsmen or the sons of their clergy, while, on
  • the other hand, some great noblemen did not disdain to patronize the
  • children of their confidential servants--so that a lad entering this
  • establishment had every variety of youthful society wherewith to mingle.
  • Rawdon Crawley, though the only book which he studied was the Racing
  • Calendar, and though his chief recollections of polite learning were
  • connected with the floggings which he received at Eton in his early
  • youth, had that decent and honest reverence for classical learning
  • which all English gentlemen feel, and was glad to think that his son
  • was to have a provision for life, perhaps, and a certain opportunity of
  • becoming a scholar. And although his boy was his chief solace and
  • companion, and endeared to him by a thousand small ties, about which he
  • did not care to speak to his wife, who had all along shown the utmost
  • indifference to their son, yet Rawdon agreed at once to part with him
  • and to give up his own greatest comfort and benefit for the sake of the
  • welfare of the little lad. He did not know how fond he was of the
  • child until it became necessary to let him go away. When he was gone,
  • he felt more sad and downcast than he cared to own--far sadder than the
  • boy himself, who was happy enough to enter a new career and find
  • companions of his own age. Becky burst out laughing once or twice when
  • the Colonel, in his clumsy, incoherent way, tried to express his
  • sentimental sorrows at the boy's departure. The poor fellow felt that
  • his dearest pleasure and closest friend was taken from him. He looked
  • often and wistfully at the little vacant bed in his dressing-room,
  • where the child used to sleep. He missed him sadly of mornings and
  • tried in vain to walk in the park without him. He did not know how
  • solitary he was until little Rawdon was gone. He liked the people who
  • were fond of him, and would go and sit for long hours with his
  • good-natured sister Lady Jane, and talk to her about the virtues, and
  • good looks, and hundred good qualities of the child.
  • Young Rawdon's aunt, we have said, was very fond of him, as was her
  • little girl, who wept copiously when the time for her cousin's
  • departure came. The elder Rawdon was thankful for the fondness of
  • mother and daughter. The very best and honestest feelings of the man
  • came out in these artless outpourings of paternal feeling in which he
  • indulged in their presence, and encouraged by their sympathy. He
  • secured not only Lady Jane's kindness, but her sincere regard, by the
  • feelings which he manifested, and which he could not show to his own
  • wife. The two kinswomen met as seldom as possible. Becky laughed
  • bitterly at Jane's feelings and softness; the other's kindly and gentle
  • nature could not but revolt at her sister's callous behaviour.
  • It estranged Rawdon from his wife more than he knew or acknowledged to
  • himself. She did not care for the estrangement. Indeed, she did not
  • miss him or anybody. She looked upon him as her errand-man and humble
  • slave. He might be ever so depressed or sulky, and she did not mark
  • his demeanour, or only treated it with a sneer. She was busy thinking
  • about her position, or her pleasures, or her advancement in society;
  • she ought to have held a great place in it, that is certain.
  • It was honest Briggs who made up the little kit for the boy which he
  • was to take to school. Molly, the housemaid, blubbered in the passage
  • when he went away--Molly kind and faithful in spite of a long arrear of
  • unpaid wages. Mrs. Becky could not let her husband have the carriage
  • to take the boy to school. Take the horses into the City!--such a
  • thing was never heard of. Let a cab be brought. She did not offer to
  • kiss him when he went, nor did the child propose to embrace her; but
  • gave a kiss to old Briggs (whom, in general, he was very shy of
  • caressing), and consoled her by pointing out that he was to come home
  • on Saturdays, when she would have the benefit of seeing him. As the
  • cab rolled towards the City, Becky's carriage rattled off to the park.
  • She was chattering and laughing with a score of young dandies by the
  • Serpentine as the father and son entered at the old gates of the
  • school--where Rawdon left the child and came away with a sadder purer
  • feeling in his heart than perhaps that poor battered fellow had ever
  • known since he himself came out of the nursery.
  • He walked all the way home very dismally, and dined alone with Briggs.
  • He was very kind to her and grateful for her love and watchfulness over
  • the boy. His conscience smote him that he had borrowed Briggs's money
  • and aided in deceiving her. They talked about little Rawdon a long
  • time, for Becky only came home to dress and go out to dinner--and then
  • he went off uneasily to drink tea with Lady Jane, and tell her of what
  • had happened, and how little Rawdon went off like a trump, and how he
  • was to wear a gown and little knee-breeches, and how young Blackball,
  • Jack Blackball's son, of the old regiment, had taken him in charge and
  • promised to be kind to him.
  • In the course of a week, young Blackball had constituted little Rawdon
  • his fag, shoe-black, and breakfast toaster; initiated him into the
  • mysteries of the Latin Grammar; and thrashed him three or four times,
  • but not severely. The little chap's good-natured honest face won his
  • way for him. He only got that degree of beating which was, no doubt,
  • good for him; and as for blacking shoes, toasting bread, and fagging in
  • general, were these offices not deemed to be necessary parts of every
  • young English gentleman's education?
  • Our business does not lie with the second generation and Master
  • Rawdon's life at school, otherwise the present tale might be carried to
  • any indefinite length. The Colonel went to see his son a short time
  • afterwards and found the lad sufficiently well and happy, grinning and
  • laughing in his little black gown and little breeches.
  • His father sagaciously tipped Blackball, his master, a sovereign, and
  • secured that young gentleman's good-will towards his fag. As a protege
  • of the great Lord Steyne, the nephew of a County member, and son of a
  • Colonel and C.B., whose name appeared in some of the most fashionable
  • parties in the Morning Post, perhaps the school authorities were
  • disposed not to look unkindly on the child. He had plenty of
  • pocket-money, which he spent in treating his comrades royally to
  • raspberry tarts, and he was often allowed to come home on Saturdays to
  • his father, who always made a jubilee of that day. When free, Rawdon
  • would take him to the play, or send him thither with the footman; and
  • on Sundays he went to church with Briggs and Lady Jane and his cousins.
  • Rawdon marvelled over his stories about school, and fights, and
  • fagging. Before long, he knew the names of all the masters and the
  • principal boys as well as little Rawdon himself. He invited little
  • Rawdon's crony from school, and made both the children sick with
  • pastry, and oysters, and porter after the play. He tried to look
  • knowing over the Latin grammar when little Rawdon showed him what part
  • of that work he was "in." "Stick to it, my boy," he said to him with
  • much gravity, "there's nothing like a good classical education!
  • Nothing!"
  • Becky's contempt for her husband grew greater every day. "Do what you
  • like--dine where you please--go and have ginger-beer and sawdust at
  • Astley's, or psalm-singing with Lady Jane--only don't expect me to busy
  • myself with the boy. I have your interests to attend to, as you can't
  • attend to them yourself. I should like to know where you would have
  • been now, and in what sort of a position in society, if I had not
  • looked after you." Indeed, nobody wanted poor old Rawdon at the parties
  • whither Becky used to go. She was often asked without him now. She
  • talked about great people as if she had the fee-simple of May Fair, and
  • when the Court went into mourning, she always wore black.
  • Little Rawdon being disposed of, Lord Steyne, who took such a parental
  • interest in the affairs of this amiable poor family, thought that their
  • expenses might be very advantageously curtailed by the departure of
  • Miss Briggs, and that Becky was quite clever enough to take the
  • management of her own house. It has been narrated in a former chapter
  • how the benevolent nobleman had given his protegee money to pay off her
  • little debt to Miss Briggs, who however still remained behind with her
  • friends; whence my lord came to the painful conclusion that Mrs.
  • Crawley had made some other use of the money confided to her than that
  • for which her generous patron had given the loan. However, Lord Steyne
  • was not so rude as to impart his suspicions upon this head to Mrs.
  • Becky, whose feelings might be hurt by any controversy on the
  • money-question, and who might have a thousand painful reasons for
  • disposing otherwise of his lordship's generous loan. But he determined
  • to satisfy himself of the real state of the case, and instituted the
  • necessary inquiries in a most cautious and delicate manner.
  • In the first place he took an early opportunity of pumping Miss Briggs.
  • That was not a difficult operation. A very little encouragement would
  • set that worthy woman to talk volubly and pour out all within her. And
  • one day when Mrs. Rawdon had gone out to drive (as Mr. Fiche, his
  • lordship's confidential servant, easily learned at the livery stables
  • where the Crawleys kept their carriage and horses, or rather, where the
  • livery-man kept a carriage and horses for Mr. and Mrs. Crawley)--my
  • lord dropped in upon the Curzon Street house--asked Briggs for a cup of
  • coffee--told her that he had good accounts of the little boy at
  • school--and in five minutes found out from her that Mrs. Rawdon had
  • given her nothing except a black silk gown, for which Miss Briggs was
  • immensely grateful.
  • He laughed within himself at this artless story. For the truth is, our
  • dear friend Rebecca had given him a most circumstantial narration of
  • Briggs's delight at receiving her money--eleven hundred and twenty-five
  • pounds--and in what securities she had invested it; and what a pang
  • Becky herself felt in being obliged to pay away such a delightful sum
  • of money. "Who knows," the dear woman may have thought within herself,
  • "perhaps he may give me a little more?" My lord, however, made no such
  • proposal to the little schemer--very likely thinking that he had been
  • sufficiently generous already.
  • He had the curiosity, then, to ask Miss Briggs about the state of her
  • private affairs--and she told his lordship candidly what her position
  • was--how Miss Crawley had left her a legacy--how her relatives had had
  • part of it--how Colonel Crawley had put out another portion, for which
  • she had the best security and interest--and how Mr. and Mrs. Rawdon
  • had kindly busied themselves with Sir Pitt, who was to dispose of the
  • remainder most advantageously for her, when he had time. My lord asked
  • how much the Colonel had already invested for her, and Miss Briggs at
  • once and truly told him that the sum was six hundred and odd pounds.
  • But as soon as she had told her story, the voluble Briggs repented of
  • her frankness and besought my lord not to tell Mr. Crawley of the
  • confessions which she had made. "The Colonel was so kind--Mr. Crawley
  • might be offended and pay back the money, for which she could get no
  • such good interest anywhere else." Lord Steyne, laughing, promised he
  • never would divulge their conversation, and when he and Miss Briggs
  • parted he laughed still more.
  • "What an accomplished little devil it is!" thought he. "What a splendid
  • actress and manager! She had almost got a second supply out of me the
  • other day; with her coaxing ways. She beats all the women I have ever
  • seen in the course of all my well-spent life. They are babies compared
  • to her. I am a greenhorn myself, and a fool in her hands--an old fool.
  • She is unsurpassable in lies." His lordship's admiration for Becky rose
  • immeasurably at this proof of her cleverness. Getting the money was
  • nothing--but getting double the sum she wanted, and paying nobody--it
  • was a magnificent stroke. And Crawley, my lord thought--Crawley is not
  • such a fool as he looks and seems. He has managed the matter cleverly
  • enough on his side. Nobody would ever have supposed from his face and
  • demeanour that he knew anything about this money business; and yet he
  • put her up to it, and has spent the money, no doubt. In this opinion
  • my lord, we know, was mistaken, but it influenced a good deal his
  • behaviour towards Colonel Crawley, whom he began to treat with even
  • less than that semblance of respect which he had formerly shown towards
  • that gentleman. It never entered into the head of Mrs. Crawley's
  • patron that the little lady might be making a purse for herself; and,
  • perhaps, if the truth must be told, he judged of Colonel Crawley by his
  • experience of other husbands, whom he had known in the course of the
  • long and well-spent life which had made him acquainted with a great
  • deal of the weakness of mankind. My lord had bought so many men during
  • his life that he was surely to be pardoned for supposing that he had
  • found the price of this one.
  • He taxed Becky upon the point on the very first occasion when he met
  • her alone, and he complimented her, good-humouredly, on her cleverness
  • in getting more than the money which she required. Becky was only a
  • little taken aback. It was not the habit of this dear creature to tell
  • falsehoods, except when necessity compelled, but in these great
  • emergencies it was her practice to lie very freely; and in an instant
  • she was ready with another neat plausible circumstantial story which
  • she administered to her patron. The previous statement which she had
  • made to him was a falsehood--a wicked falsehood--she owned it. But who
  • had made her tell it? "Ah, my Lord," she said, "you don't know all I
  • have to suffer and bear in silence; you see me gay and happy before
  • you--you little know what I have to endure when there is no protector
  • near me. It was my husband, by threats and the most savage treatment,
  • forced me to ask for that sum about which I deceived you. It was he
  • who, foreseeing that questions might be asked regarding the disposal of
  • the money, forced me to account for it as I did. He took the money.
  • He told me he had paid Miss Briggs; I did not want, I did not dare to
  • doubt him. Pardon the wrong which a desperate man is forced to commit,
  • and pity a miserable, miserable woman." She burst into tears as she
  • spoke. Persecuted virtue never looked more bewitchingly wretched.
  • They had a long conversation, driving round and round the Regent's Park
  • in Mrs. Crawley's carriage together, a conversation of which it is not
  • necessary to repeat the details, but the upshot of it was that, when
  • Becky came home, she flew to her dear Briggs with a smiling face and
  • announced that she had some very good news for her. Lord Steyne had
  • acted in the noblest and most generous manner. He was always thinking
  • how and when he could do good. Now that little Rawdon was gone to
  • school, a dear companion and friend was no longer necessary to her.
  • She was grieved beyond measure to part with Briggs, but her means
  • required that she should practise every retrenchment, and her sorrow
  • was mitigated by the idea that her dear Briggs would be far better
  • provided for by her generous patron than in her humble home. Mrs.
  • Pilkington, the housekeeper at Gauntly Hall, was growing exceedingly
  • old, feeble, and rheumatic: she was not equal to the work of
  • superintending that vast mansion, and must be on the look out for a
  • successor. It was a splendid position. The family did not go to
  • Gauntly once in two years. At other times the housekeeper was the
  • mistress of the magnificent mansion--had four covers daily for her
  • table; was visited by the clergy and the most respectable people of the
  • county--was the lady of Gauntly, in fact; and the two last housekeepers
  • before Mrs. Pilkington had married rectors of Gauntly--but Mrs. P.
  • could not, being the aunt of the present Rector. The place was not to
  • be hers yet, but she might go down on a visit to Mrs. Pilkington and
  • see whether she would like to succeed her.
  • What words can paint the ecstatic gratitude of Briggs! All she
  • stipulated for was that little Rawdon should be allowed to come down
  • and see her at the Hall. Becky promised this--anything. She ran up to
  • her husband when he came home and told him the joyful news. Rawdon was
  • glad, deuced glad; the weight was off his conscience about poor
  • Briggs's money. She was provided for, at any rate, but--but his mind
  • was disquiet. He did not seem to be all right, somehow. He told
  • little Southdown what Lord Steyne had done, and the young man eyed
  • Crawley with an air which surprised the latter.
  • He told Lady Jane of this second proof of Steyne's bounty, and she,
  • too, looked odd and alarmed; so did Sir Pitt. "She is too clever
  • and--and gay to be allowed to go from party to party without a
  • companion," both said. "You must go with her, Rawdon, wherever she
  • goes, and you must have somebody with her--one of the girls from
  • Queen's Crawley, perhaps, though they were rather giddy guardians for
  • her."
  • Somebody Becky should have. But in the meantime it was clear that
  • honest Briggs must not lose her chance of settlement for life, and so
  • she and her bags were packed, and she set off on her journey. And so
  • two of Rawdon's out-sentinels were in the hands of the enemy.
  • Sir Pitt went and expostulated with his sister-in-law upon the subject
  • of the dismissal of Briggs and other matters of delicate family
  • interest. In vain she pointed out to him how necessary was the
  • protection of Lord Steyne for her poor husband; how cruel it would be
  • on their part to deprive Briggs of the position offered to her.
  • Cajolements, coaxings, smiles, tears could not satisfy Sir Pitt, and he
  • had something very like a quarrel with his once admired Becky. He
  • spoke of the honour of the family, the unsullied reputation of the
  • Crawleys; expressed himself in indignant tones about her receiving
  • those young Frenchmen--those wild young men of fashion, my Lord Steyne
  • himself, whose carriage was always at her door, who passed hours daily
  • in her company, and whose constant presence made the world talk about
  • her. As the head of the house he implored her to be more prudent.
  • Society was already speaking lightly of her. Lord Steyne, though a
  • nobleman of the greatest station and talents, was a man whose
  • attentions would compromise any woman; he besought, he implored, he
  • commanded his sister-in-law to be watchful in her intercourse with that
  • nobleman.
  • Becky promised anything and everything Pitt wanted; but Lord Steyne
  • came to her house as often as ever, and Sir Pitt's anger increased. I
  • wonder was Lady Jane angry or pleased that her husband at last found
  • fault with his favourite Rebecca? Lord Steyne's visits continuing, his
  • own ceased, and his wife was for refusing all further intercourse with
  • that nobleman and declining the invitation to the charade-night which
  • the marchioness sent to her; but Sir Pitt thought it was necessary to
  • accept it, as his Royal Highness would be there.
  • Although he went to the party in question, Sir Pitt quitted it very
  • early, and his wife, too, was very glad to come away. Becky hardly so
  • much as spoke to him or noticed her sister-in-law. Pitt Crawley
  • declared her behaviour was monstrously indecorous, reprobated in strong
  • terms the habit of play-acting and fancy dressing as highly unbecoming
  • a British female, and after the charades were over, took his brother
  • Rawdon severely to task for appearing himself and allowing his wife to
  • join in such improper exhibitions.
  • Rawdon said she should not join in any more such amusements--but
  • indeed, and perhaps from hints from his elder brother and sister, he
  • had already become a very watchful and exemplary domestic character. He
  • left off his clubs and billiards. He never left home. He took Becky
  • out to drive; he went laboriously with her to all her parties. Whenever
  • my Lord Steyne called, he was sure to find the Colonel. And when Becky
  • proposed to go out without her husband, or received invitations for
  • herself, he peremptorily ordered her to refuse them: and there was that
  • in the gentleman's manner which enforced obedience. Little Becky, to
  • do her justice, was charmed with Rawdon's gallantry. If he was surly,
  • she never was. Whether friends were present or absent, she had always a
  • kind smile for him and was attentive to his pleasure and comfort. It
  • was the early days of their marriage over again: the same good humour,
  • prevenances, merriment, and artless confidence and regard. "How much
  • pleasanter it is," she would say, "to have you by my side in the
  • carriage than that foolish old Briggs! Let us always go on so, dear
  • Rawdon. How nice it would be, and how happy we should always be, if we
  • had but the money!" He fell asleep after dinner in his chair; he did
  • not see the face opposite to him, haggard, weary, and terrible; it
  • lighted up with fresh candid smiles when he woke. It kissed him gaily.
  • He wondered that he had ever had suspicions. No, he never had
  • suspicions; all those dumb doubts and surly misgivings which had been
  • gathering on his mind were mere idle jealousies. She was fond of him;
  • she always had been. As for her shining in society, it was no fault of
  • hers; she was formed to shine there. Was there any woman who could
  • talk, or sing, or do anything like her? If she would but like the boy!
  • Rawdon thought. But the mother and son never could be brought together.
  • And it was while Rawdon's mind was agitated with these doubts and
  • perplexities that the incident occurred which was mentioned in the last
  • chapter, and the unfortunate Colonel found himself a prisoner away from
  • home.
  • CHAPTER LIII
  • A Rescue and a Catastrophe
  • Friend Rawdon drove on then to Mr. Moss's mansion in Cursitor Street,
  • and was duly inducted into that dismal place of hospitality. Morning
  • was breaking over the cheerful house-tops of Chancery Lane as the
  • rattling cab woke up the echoes there. A little pink-eyed Jew-boy,
  • with a head as ruddy as the rising morn, let the party into the house,
  • and Rawdon was welcomed to the ground-floor apartments by Mr. Moss, his
  • travelling companion and host, who cheerfully asked him if he would
  • like a glass of something warm after his drive.
  • The Colonel was not so depressed as some mortals would be, who,
  • quitting a palace and a placens uxor, find themselves barred into a
  • spunging-house; for, if the truth must be told, he had been a lodger at
  • Mr. Moss's establishment once or twice before. We have not thought it
  • necessary in the previous course of this narrative to mention these
  • trivial little domestic incidents: but the reader may be assured that
  • they can't unfrequently occur in the life of a man who lives on nothing
  • a year.
  • Upon his first visit to Mr. Moss, the Colonel, then a bachelor, had
  • been liberated by the generosity of his aunt; on the second mishap,
  • little Becky, with the greatest spirit and kindness, had borrowed a sum
  • of money from Lord Southdown and had coaxed her husband's creditor (who
  • was her shawl, velvet-gown, lace pocket-handkerchief, trinket, and
  • gim-crack purveyor, indeed) to take a portion of the sum claimed and
  • Rawdon's promissory note for the remainder: so on both these occasions
  • the capture and release had been conducted with the utmost gallantry on
  • all sides, and Moss and the Colonel were therefore on the very best of
  • terms.
  • "You'll find your old bed, Colonel, and everything comfortable," that
  • gentleman said, "as I may honestly say. You may be pretty sure its kep
  • aired, and by the best of company, too. It was slep in the night afore
  • last by the Honorable Capting Famish, of the Fiftieth Dragoons, whose
  • Mar took him out, after a fortnight, jest to punish him, she said.
  • But, Law bless you, I promise you, he punished my champagne, and had a
  • party ere every night--reglar tip-top swells, down from the clubs and
  • the West End--Capting Ragg, the Honorable Deuceace, who lives in the
  • Temple, and some fellers as knows a good glass of wine, I warrant you.
  • I've got a Doctor of Diwinity upstairs, five gents in the coffee-room,
  • and Mrs. Moss has a tably-dy-hoty at half-past five, and a little
  • cards or music afterwards, when we shall be most happy to see you."
  • "I'll ring when I want anything," said Rawdon and went quietly to his
  • bedroom. He was an old soldier, we have said, and not to be disturbed
  • by any little shocks of fate. A weaker man would have sent off a
  • letter to his wife on the instant of his capture. "But what is the use
  • of disturbing her night's rest?" thought Rawdon. "She won't know
  • whether I am in my room or not. It will be time enough to write to her
  • when she has had her sleep out, and I have had mine. It's only a
  • hundred-and-seventy, and the deuce is in it if we can't raise that."
  • And so, thinking about little Rawdon (whom he would not have know that
  • he was in such a queer place), the Colonel turned into the bed lately
  • occupied by Captain Famish and fell asleep. It was ten o'clock when he
  • woke up, and the ruddy-headed youth brought him, with conscious pride,
  • a fine silver dressing-case, wherewith he might perform the operation
  • of shaving. Indeed Mr. Moss's house, though somewhat dirty, was
  • splendid throughout. There were dirty trays, and wine-coolers en
  • permanence on the sideboard, huge dirty gilt cornices, with dingy
  • yellow satin hangings to the barred windows which looked into Cursitor
  • Street--vast and dirty gilt picture frames surrounding pieces sporting
  • and sacred, all of which works were by the greatest masters--and
  • fetched the greatest prices, too, in the bill transactions, in the
  • course of which they were sold and bought over and over again. The
  • Colonel's breakfast was served to him in the same dingy and gorgeous
  • plated ware. Miss Moss, a dark-eyed maid in curl-papers, appeared with
  • the teapot, and, smiling, asked the Colonel how he had slep? And she
  • brought him in the Morning Post, with the names of all the great people
  • who had figured at Lord Steyne's entertainment the night before. It
  • contained a brilliant account of the festivities and of the beautiful
  • and accomplished Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's admirable personifications.
  • After a lively chat with this lady (who sat on the edge of the
  • breakfast table in an easy attitude displaying the drapery of her
  • stocking and an ex-white satin shoe, which was down at heel), Colonel
  • Crawley called for pens and ink, and paper, and being asked how many
  • sheets, chose one which was brought to him between Miss Moss's own
  • finger and thumb. Many a sheet had that dark-eyed damsel brought in;
  • many a poor fellow had scrawled and blotted hurried lines of entreaty
  • and paced up and down that awful room until his messenger brought back
  • the reply. Poor men always use messengers instead of the post. Who
  • has not had their letters, with the wafers wet, and the announcement
  • that a person is waiting in the hall?
  • Now on the score of his application, Rawdon had not many misgivings.
  • DEAR BECKY, (Rawdon wrote)
  • I HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL. Don't be FRIGHTENED if I don't bring you in
  • your COFFY. Last night as I was coming home smoaking, I met with an
  • ACCADENT. I was NABBED by Moss of Cursitor Street--from whose GILT AND
  • SPLENDID PARLER I write this--the same that had me this time two years.
  • Miss Moss brought in my tea--she is grown very FAT, and, as usual, had
  • her STOCKENS DOWN AT HEAL.
  • It's Nathan's business--a hundred-and-fifty--with costs,
  • hundred-and-seventy. Please send me my desk and some CLOTHS--I'm in
  • pumps and a white tye (something like Miss M's stockings)--I've seventy
  • in it. And as soon as you get this, Drive to Nathan's--offer him
  • seventy-five down, and ASK HIM TO RENEW--say I'll take wine--we may as
  • well have some dinner sherry; but not PICTURS, they're too dear.
  • If he won't stand it. Take my ticker and such of your things as you
  • can SPARE, and send them to Balls--we must, of coarse, have the sum
  • to-night. It won't do to let it stand over, as to-morrow's Sunday; the
  • beds here are not very CLEAN, and there may be other things out against
  • me--I'm glad it an't Rawdon's Saturday for coming home. God bless you.
  • Yours in haste, R. C. P.S. Make haste and come.
  • This letter, sealed with a wafer, was dispatched by one of the
  • messengers who are always hanging about Mr. Moss's establishment, and
  • Rawdon, having seen him depart, went out in the court-yard and smoked
  • his cigar with a tolerably easy mind--in spite of the bars
  • overhead--for Mr. Moss's court-yard is railed in like a cage, lest the
  • gentlemen who are boarding with him should take a fancy to escape from
  • his hospitality.
  • Three hours, he calculated, would be the utmost time required, before
  • Becky should arrive and open his prison doors, and he passed these
  • pretty cheerfully in smoking, in reading the paper, and in the
  • coffee-room with an acquaintance, Captain Walker, who happened to be
  • there, and with whom he cut for sixpences for some hours, with pretty
  • equal luck on either side.
  • But the day passed away and no messenger returned--no Becky. Mr.
  • Moss's tably-dy-hoty was served at the appointed hour of half-past
  • five, when such of the gentlemen lodging in the house as could afford
  • to pay for the banquet came and partook of it in the splendid front
  • parlour before described, and with which Mr. Crawley's temporary
  • lodging communicated, when Miss M. (Miss Hem, as her papa called her)
  • appeared without the curl-papers of the morning, and Mrs. Hem did the
  • honours of a prime boiled leg of mutton and turnips, of which the
  • Colonel ate with a very faint appetite. Asked whether he would "stand"
  • a bottle of champagne for the company, he consented, and the ladies
  • drank to his 'ealth, and Mr. Moss, in the most polite manner, "looked
  • towards him."
  • In the midst of this repast, however, the doorbell was heard--young
  • Moss of the ruddy hair rose up with the keys and answered the summons,
  • and coming back, told the Colonel that the messenger had returned with
  • a bag, a desk and a letter, which he gave him. "No ceramony, Colonel,
  • I beg," said Mrs. Moss with a wave of her hand, and he opened the
  • letter rather tremulously. It was a beautiful letter, highly scented,
  • on a pink paper, and with a light green seal.
  • MON PAUVRE CHER PETIT, (Mrs. Crawley wrote)
  • I could not sleep ONE WINK for thinking of what had become of my odious
  • old monstre, and only got to rest in the morning after sending for Mr.
  • Blench (for I was in a fever), who gave me a composing draught and left
  • orders with Finette that I should be disturbed ON NO ACCOUNT. So that
  • my poor old man's messenger, who had bien mauvaise mine Finette says,
  • and sentoit le Genievre, remained in the hall for some hours waiting my
  • bell. You may fancy my state when I read your poor dear old ill-spelt
  • letter.
  • Ill as I was, I instantly called for the carriage, and as soon as I was
  • dressed (though I couldn't drink a drop of chocolate--I assure you I
  • couldn't without my monstre to bring it to me), I drove ventre a terre
  • to Nathan's. I saw him--I wept--I cried--I fell at his odious knees.
  • Nothing would mollify the horrid man. He would have all the money, he
  • said, or keep my poor monstre in prison. I drove home with the
  • intention of paying that triste visite chez mon oncle (when every
  • trinket I have should be at your disposal though they would not fetch a
  • hundred pounds, for some, you know, are with ce cher oncle already),
  • and found Milor there with the Bulgarian old sheep-faced monster, who
  • had come to compliment me upon last night's performances. Paddington
  • came in, too, drawling and lisping and twiddling his hair; so did
  • Champignac, and his chef--everybody with foison of compliments and
  • pretty speeches--plaguing poor me, who longed to be rid of them, and
  • was thinking every moment of the time of mon pauvre prisonnier.
  • When they were gone, I went down on my knees to Milor; told him we were
  • going to pawn everything, and begged and prayed him to give me two
  • hundred pounds. He pish'd and psha'd in a fury--told me not to be such
  • a fool as to pawn--and said he would see whether he could lend me the
  • money. At last he went away, promising that he would send it me in the
  • morning: when I will bring it to my poor old monster with a kiss from
  • his affectionate
  • BECKY
  • I am writing in bed. Oh I have such a headache and such a heartache!
  • When Rawdon read over this letter, he turned so red and looked so
  • savage that the company at the table d'hote easily perceived that bad
  • news had reached him. All his suspicions, which he had been trying to
  • banish, returned upon him. She could not even go out and sell her
  • trinkets to free him. She could laugh and talk about compliments paid
  • to her, whilst he was in prison. Who had put him there? Wenham had
  • walked with him. Was there.... He could hardly bear to think of what
  • he suspected. Leaving the room hurriedly, he ran into his own--opened
  • his desk, wrote two hurried lines, which he directed to Sir Pitt or
  • Lady Crawley, and bade the messenger carry them at once to Gaunt
  • Street, bidding him to take a cab, and promising him a guinea if he was
  • back in an hour.
  • In the note he besought his dear brother and sister, for the sake of
  • God, for the sake of his dear child and his honour, to come to him and
  • relieve him from his difficulty. He was in prison, he wanted a hundred
  • pounds to set him free--he entreated them to come to him.
  • He went back to the dining-room after dispatching his messenger and
  • called for more wine. He laughed and talked with a strange
  • boisterousness, as the people thought. Sometimes he laughed madly at
  • his own fears and went on drinking for an hour, listening all the while
  • for the carriage which was to bring his fate back.
  • At the expiration of that time, wheels were heard whirling up to the
  • gate--the young janitor went out with his gate-keys. It was a lady
  • whom he let in at the bailiff's door.
  • "Colonel Crawley," she said, trembling very much. He, with a knowing
  • look, locked the outer door upon her--then unlocked and opened the
  • inner one, and calling out, "Colonel, you're wanted," led her into the
  • back parlour, which he occupied.
  • Rawdon came in from the dining-parlour where all those people were
  • carousing, into his back room; a flare of coarse light following him
  • into the apartment where the lady stood, still very nervous.
  • "It is I, Rawdon," she said in a timid voice, which she strove to
  • render cheerful. "It is Jane." Rawdon was quite overcome by that kind
  • voice and presence. He ran up to her--caught her in his arms--gasped
  • out some inarticulate words of thanks and fairly sobbed on her
  • shoulder. She did not know the cause of his emotion.
  • The bills of Mr. Moss were quickly settled, perhaps to the
  • disappointment of that gentleman, who had counted on having the Colonel
  • as his guest over Sunday at least; and Jane, with beaming smiles and
  • happiness in her eyes, carried away Rawdon from the bailiff's house,
  • and they went homewards in the cab in which she had hastened to his
  • release. "Pitt was gone to a parliamentary dinner," she said, "when
  • Rawdon's note came, and so, dear Rawdon, I--I came myself"; and she put
  • her kind hand in his. Perhaps it was well for Rawdon Crawley that Pitt
  • was away at that dinner. Rawdon thanked his sister a hundred times,
  • and with an ardour of gratitude which touched and almost alarmed that
  • soft-hearted woman. "Oh," said he, in his rude, artless way, "you--you
  • don't know how I'm changed since I've known you, and--and little Rawdy.
  • I--I'd like to change somehow. You see I want--I want--to be--" He did
  • not finish the sentence, but she could interpret it. And that night
  • after he left her, and as she sat by her own little boy's bed, she
  • prayed humbly for that poor way-worn sinner.
  • Rawdon left her and walked home rapidly. It was nine o'clock at night.
  • He ran across the streets and the great squares of Vanity Fair, and at
  • length came up breathless opposite his own house. He started back and
  • fell against the railings, trembling as he looked up. The drawing-room
  • windows were blazing with light. She had said that she was in bed and
  • ill. He stood there for some time, the light from the rooms on his
  • pale face.
  • He took out his door-key and let himself into the house. He could hear
  • laughter in the upper rooms. He was in the ball-dress in which he had
  • been captured the night before. He went silently up the stairs,
  • leaning against the banisters at the stair-head. Nobody was stirring
  • in the house besides--all the servants had been sent away. Rawdon heard
  • laughter within--laughter and singing. Becky was singing a snatch of
  • the song of the night before; a hoarse voice shouted "Brava!
  • Brava!"--it was Lord Steyne's.
  • Rawdon opened the door and went in. A little table with a dinner was
  • laid out--and wine and plate. Steyne was hanging over the sofa on
  • which Becky sat. The wretched woman was in a brilliant full toilette,
  • her arms and all her fingers sparkling with bracelets and rings, and
  • the brilliants on her breast which Steyne had given her. He had her
  • hand in his, and was bowing over it to kiss it, when Becky started up
  • with a faint scream as she caught sight of Rawdon's white face. At the
  • next instant she tried a smile, a horrid smile, as if to welcome her
  • husband; and Steyne rose up, grinding his teeth, pale, and with fury in
  • his looks.
  • He, too, attempted a laugh--and came forward holding out his hand.
  • "What, come back! How d'ye do, Crawley?" he said, the nerves of his
  • mouth twitching as he tried to grin at the intruder.
  • There was that in Rawdon's face which caused Becky to fling herself
  • before him. "I am innocent, Rawdon," she said; "before God, I am
  • innocent." She clung hold of his coat, of his hands; her own were all
  • covered with serpents, and rings, and baubles. "I am innocent. Say I
  • am innocent," she said to Lord Steyne.
  • He thought a trap had been laid for him, and was as furious with the
  • wife as with the husband. "You innocent! Damn you," he screamed out.
  • "You innocent! Why every trinket you have on your body is paid for by
  • me. I have given you thousands of pounds, which this fellow has spent
  • and for which he has sold you. Innocent, by ----! You're as innocent as
  • your mother, the ballet-girl, and your husband the bully. Don't think
  • to frighten me as you have done others. Make way, sir, and let me
  • pass"; and Lord Steyne seized up his hat, and, with flame in his eyes,
  • and looking his enemy fiercely in the face, marched upon him, never for
  • a moment doubting that the other would give way.
  • But Rawdon Crawley springing out, seized him by the neckcloth, until
  • Steyne, almost strangled, writhed and bent under his arm. "You lie,
  • you dog!" said Rawdon. "You lie, you coward and villain!" And he struck
  • the Peer twice over the face with his open hand and flung him bleeding
  • to the ground. It was all done before Rebecca could interpose. She
  • stood there trembling before him. She admired her husband, strong,
  • brave, and victorious.
  • "Come here," he said. She came up at once.
  • "Take off those things." She began, trembling, pulling the jewels from
  • her arms, and the rings from her shaking fingers, and held them all in
  • a heap, quivering and looking up at him. "Throw them down," he said,
  • and she dropped them. He tore the diamond ornament out of her breast
  • and flung it at Lord Steyne. It cut him on his bald forehead. Steyne
  • wore the scar to his dying day.
  • "Come upstairs," Rawdon said to his wife. "Don't kill me, Rawdon," she
  • said. He laughed savagely. "I want to see if that man lies about the
  • money as he has about me. Has he given you any?"
  • "No," said Rebecca, "that is--"
  • "Give me your keys," Rawdon answered, and they went out together.
  • Rebecca gave him all the keys but one, and she was in hopes that he
  • would not have remarked the absence of that. It belonged to the little
  • desk which Amelia had given her in early days, and which she kept in a
  • secret place. But Rawdon flung open boxes and wardrobes, throwing the
  • multifarious trumpery of their contents here and there, and at last he
  • found the desk. The woman was forced to open it. It contained papers,
  • love-letters many years old--all sorts of small trinkets and woman's
  • memoranda. And it contained a pocket-book with bank-notes. Some of
  • these were dated ten years back, too, and one was quite a fresh one--a
  • note for a thousand pounds which Lord Steyne had given her.
  • "Did he give you this?" Rawdon said.
  • "Yes," Rebecca answered.
  • "I'll send it to him to-day," Rawdon said (for day had dawned again,
  • and many hours had passed in this search), "and I will pay Briggs, who
  • was kind to the boy, and some of the debts. You will let me know where
  • I shall send the rest to you. You might have spared me a hundred
  • pounds, Becky, out of all this--I have always shared with you."
  • "I am innocent," said Becky. And he left her without another word.
  • What were her thoughts when he left her? She remained for hours after
  • he was gone, the sunshine pouring into the room, and Rebecca sitting
  • alone on the bed's edge. The drawers were all opened and their
  • contents scattered about--dresses and feathers, scarfs and trinkets, a
  • heap of tumbled vanities lying in a wreck. Her hair was falling over
  • her shoulders; her gown was torn where Rawdon had wrenched the
  • brilliants out of it. She heard him go downstairs a few minutes after
  • he left her, and the door slamming and closing on him. She knew he
  • would never come back. He was gone forever. Would he kill
  • himself?--she thought--not until after he had met Lord Steyne. She
  • thought of her long past life, and all the dismal incidents of it. Ah,
  • how dreary it seemed, how miserable, lonely and profitless! Should she
  • take laudanum, and end it, to have done with all hopes, schemes, debts,
  • and triumphs? The French maid found her in this position--sitting in
  • the midst of her miserable ruins with clasped hands and dry eyes. The
  • woman was her accomplice and in Steyne's pay. "Mon Dieu, madame, what
  • has happened?" she asked.
  • What had happened? Was she guilty or not? She said not, but who could
  • tell what was truth which came from those lips, or if that corrupt
  • heart was in this case pure?
  • All her lies and her schemes, and her selfishness and her wiles, all her
  • wit and genius had come to this bankruptcy. The woman closed the
  • curtains and, with some entreaty and show of kindness, persuaded her
  • mistress to lie down on the bed. Then she went below and gathered up
  • the trinkets which had been lying on the floor since Rebecca dropped
  • them there at her husband's orders, and Lord Steyne went away.
  • CHAPTER LIV
  • Sunday After the Battle
  • The mansion of Sir Pitt Crawley, in Great Gaunt Street, was just
  • beginning to dress itself for the day, as Rawdon, in his evening
  • costume, which he had now worn two days, passed by the scared female
  • who was scouring the steps and entered into his brother's study. Lady
  • Jane, in her morning-gown, was up and above stairs in the nursery
  • superintending the toilettes of her children and listening to the
  • morning prayers which the little creatures performed at her knee.
  • Every morning she and they performed this duty privately, and before
  • the public ceremonial at which Sir Pitt presided and at which all the
  • people of the household were expected to assemble. Rawdon sat down in
  • the study before the Baronet's table, set out with the orderly blue
  • books and the letters, the neatly docketed bills and symmetrical
  • pamphlets, the locked account-books, desks, and dispatch boxes, the
  • Bible, the Quarterly Review, and the Court Guide, which all stood as if
  • on parade awaiting the inspection of their chief.
  • A book of family sermons, one of which Sir Pitt was in the habit of
  • administering to his family on Sunday mornings, lay ready on the study
  • table, and awaiting his judicious selection. And by the sermon-book
  • was the Observer newspaper, damp and neatly folded, and for Sir Pitt's
  • own private use. His gentleman alone took the opportunity of perusing
  • the newspaper before he laid it by his master's desk. Before he had
  • brought it into the study that morning, he had read in the journal a
  • flaming account of "Festivities at Gaunt House," with the names of all
  • the distinguished personages invited by the Marquis of Steyne to meet
  • his Royal Highness. Having made comments upon this entertainment to
  • the housekeeper and her niece as they were taking early tea and hot
  • buttered toast in the former lady's apartment, and wondered how the
  • Rawding Crawleys could git on, the valet had damped and folded the
  • paper once more, so that it looked quite fresh and innocent against the
  • arrival of the master of the house.
  • Poor Rawdon took up the paper and began to try and read it until his
  • brother should arrive. But the print fell blank upon his eyes, and he
  • did not know in the least what he was reading. The Government news and
  • appointments (which Sir Pitt as a public man was bound to peruse,
  • otherwise he would by no means permit the introduction of Sunday papers
  • into his household), the theatrical criticisms, the fight for a hundred
  • pounds a side between the Barking Butcher and the Tutbury Pet, the
  • Gaunt House chronicle itself, which contained a most complimentary
  • though guarded account of the famous charades of which Mrs. Becky had
  • been the heroine--all these passed as in a haze before Rawdon, as he
  • sat waiting the arrival of the chief of the family.
  • Punctually, as the shrill-toned bell of the black marble study clock
  • began to chime nine, Sir Pitt made his appearance, fresh, neat, smugly
  • shaved, with a waxy clean face, and stiff shirt collar, his scanty hair
  • combed and oiled, trimming his nails as he descended the stairs
  • majestically, in a starched cravat and a grey flannel dressing-gown--a
  • real old English gentleman, in a word--a model of neatness and every
  • propriety. He started when he saw poor Rawdon in his study in tumbled
  • clothes, with blood-shot eyes, and his hair over his face. He thought
  • his brother was not sober, and had been out all night on some orgy.
  • "Good gracious, Rawdon," he said, with a blank face, "what brings you
  • here at this time of the morning? Why ain't you at home?"
  • "Home," said Rawdon with a wild laugh. "Don't be frightened, Pitt. I'm
  • not drunk. Shut the door; I want to speak to you."
  • Pitt closed the door and came up to the table, where he sat down in the
  • other arm-chair--that one placed for the reception of the steward,
  • agent, or confidential visitor who came to transact business with the
  • Baronet--and trimmed his nails more vehemently than ever.
  • "Pitt, it's all over with me," the Colonel said after a pause. "I'm
  • done."
  • "I always said it would come to this," the Baronet cried peevishly, and
  • beating a tune with his clean-trimmed nails. "I warned you a thousand
  • times. I can't help you any more. Every shilling of my money is tied
  • up. Even the hundred pounds that Jane took you last night were
  • promised to my lawyer to-morrow morning, and the want of it will put me
  • to great inconvenience. I don't mean to say that I won't assist you
  • ultimately. But as for paying your creditors in full, I might as well
  • hope to pay the National Debt. It is madness, sheer madness, to think
  • of such a thing. You must come to a compromise. It's a painful thing
  • for the family, but everybody does it. There was George Kitely, Lord
  • Ragland's son, went through the Court last week, and was what they call
  • whitewashed, I believe. Lord Ragland would not pay a shilling for him,
  • and--"
  • "It's not money I want," Rawdon broke in. "I'm not come to you about
  • myself. Never mind what happens to me."
  • "What is the matter, then?" said Pitt, somewhat relieved.
  • "It's the boy," said Rawdon in a husky voice. "I want you to promise
  • me that you will take charge of him when I'm gone. That dear good wife
  • of yours has always been good to him; and he's fonder of her than he is
  • of his . . .--Damn it. Look here, Pitt--you know that I was to have
  • had Miss Crawley's money. I wasn't brought up like a younger brother,
  • but was always encouraged to be extravagant and kep idle. But for this
  • I might have been quite a different man. I didn't do my duty with the
  • regiment so bad. You know how I was thrown over about the money, and
  • who got it."
  • "After the sacrifices I have made, and the manner in which I have stood
  • by you, I think this sort of reproach is useless," Sir Pitt said.
  • "Your marriage was your own doing, not mine."
  • "That's over now," said Rawdon. "That's over now." And the words were
  • wrenched from him with a groan, which made his brother start.
  • "Good God! is she dead?" Sir Pitt said with a voice of genuine alarm
  • and commiseration.
  • "I wish I was," Rawdon replied. "If it wasn't for little Rawdon I'd
  • have cut my throat this morning--and that damned villain's too."
  • Sir Pitt instantly guessed the truth and surmised that Lord Steyne was
  • the person whose life Rawdon wished to take. The Colonel told his
  • senior briefly, and in broken accents, the circumstances of the case.
  • "It was a regular plan between that scoundrel and her," he said. "The
  • bailiffs were put upon me; I was taken as I was going out of his house;
  • when I wrote to her for money, she said she was ill in bed and put me
  • off to another day. And when I got home I found her in diamonds and
  • sitting with that villain alone." He then went on to describe hurriedly
  • the personal conflict with Lord Steyne. To an affair of that nature,
  • of course, he said, there was but one issue, and after his conference
  • with his brother, he was going away to make the necessary arrangements
  • for the meeting which must ensue. "And as it may end fatally with me,"
  • Rawdon said with a broken voice, "and as the boy has no mother, I must
  • leave him to you and Jane, Pitt--only it will be a comfort to me if you
  • will promise me to be his friend."
  • The elder brother was much affected, and shook Rawdon's hand with a
  • cordiality seldom exhibited by him. Rawdon passed his hand over his
  • shaggy eyebrows. "Thank you, brother," said he. "I know I can trust
  • your word."
  • "I will, upon my honour," the Baronet said. And thus, and almost
  • mutely, this bargain was struck between them.
  • Then Rawdon took out of his pocket the little pocket-book which he had
  • discovered in Becky's desk, and from which he drew a bundle of the
  • notes which it contained. "Here's six hundred," he said--"you didn't
  • know I was so rich. I want you to give the money to Briggs, who lent
  • it to us--and who was kind to the boy--and I've always felt ashamed of
  • having taken the poor old woman's money. And here's some more--I've
  • only kept back a few pounds--which Becky may as well have, to get on
  • with." As he spoke he took hold of the other notes to give to his
  • brother, but his hands shook, and he was so agitated that the
  • pocket-book fell from him, and out of it the thousand-pound note which
  • had been the last of the unlucky Becky's winnings.
  • Pitt stooped and picked them up, amazed at so much wealth. "Not that,"
  • Rawdon said. "I hope to put a bullet into the man whom that belongs
  • to." He had thought to himself, it would be a fine revenge to wrap a
  • ball in the note and kill Steyne with it.
  • After this colloquy the brothers once more shook hands and parted. Lady
  • Jane had heard of the Colonel's arrival, and was waiting for her
  • husband in the adjoining dining-room, with female instinct, auguring
  • evil. The door of the dining-room happened to be left open, and the
  • lady of course was issuing from it as the two brothers passed out of
  • the study. She held out her hand to Rawdon and said she was glad he
  • was come to breakfast, though she could perceive, by his haggard
  • unshorn face and the dark looks of her husband, that there was very
  • little question of breakfast between them. Rawdon muttered some
  • excuses about an engagement, squeezing hard the timid little hand which
  • his sister-in-law reached out to him. Her imploring eyes could read
  • nothing but calamity in his face, but he went away without another
  • word. Nor did Sir Pitt vouchsafe her any explanation. The children
  • came up to salute him, and he kissed them in his usual frigid manner.
  • The mother took both of them close to herself, and held a hand of each
  • of them as they knelt down to prayers, which Sir Pitt read to them, and
  • to the servants in their Sunday suits or liveries, ranged upon chairs
  • on the other side of the hissing tea-urn. Breakfast was so late that
  • day, in consequence of the delays which had occurred, that the
  • church-bells began to ring whilst they were sitting over their meal;
  • and Lady Jane was too ill, she said, to go to church, though her
  • thoughts had been entirely astray during the period of family devotion.
  • Rawdon Crawley meanwhile hurried on from Great Gaunt Street, and
  • knocking at the great bronze Medusa's head which stands on the portal
  • of Gaunt House, brought out the purple Silenus in a red and silver
  • waistcoat who acts as porter of that palace. The man was scared also
  • by the Colonel's dishevelled appearance, and barred the way as if
  • afraid that the other was going to force it. But Colonel Crawley only
  • took out a card and enjoined him particularly to send it in to Lord
  • Steyne, and to mark the address written on it, and say that Colonel
  • Crawley would be all day after one o'clock at the Regent Club in St.
  • James's Street--not at home. The fat red-faced man looked after him
  • with astonishment as he strode away; so did the people in their Sunday
  • clothes who were out so early; the charity-boys with shining faces,
  • the greengrocer lolling at his door, and the publican shutting his
  • shutters in the sunshine, against service commenced. The people joked
  • at the cab-stand about his appearance, as he took a carriage there, and
  • told the driver to drive him to Knightsbridge Barracks.
  • All the bells were jangling and tolling as he reached that place. He
  • might have seen his old acquaintance Amelia on her way from Brompton to
  • Russell Square, had he been looking out. Troops of schools were on
  • their march to church, the shiny pavement and outsides of coaches in
  • the suburbs were thronged with people out upon their Sunday pleasure;
  • but the Colonel was much too busy to take any heed of these phenomena,
  • and, arriving at Knightsbridge, speedily made his way up to the room of
  • his old friend and comrade Captain Macmurdo, who Crawley found, to his
  • satisfaction, was in barracks.
  • Captain Macmurdo, a veteran officer and Waterloo man, greatly liked by
  • his regiment, in which want of money alone prevented him from attaining
  • the highest ranks, was enjoying the forenoon calmly in bed. He had
  • been at a fast supper-party, given the night before by Captain the
  • Honourable George Cinqbars, at his house in Brompton Square, to several
  • young men of the regiment, and a number of ladies of the corps de
  • ballet, and old Mac, who was at home with people of all ages and ranks,
  • and consorted with generals, dog-fanciers, opera-dancers, bruisers, and
  • every kind of person, in a word, was resting himself after the night's
  • labours, and, not being on duty, was in bed.
  • His room was hung round with boxing, sporting, and dancing pictures,
  • presented to him by comrades as they retired from the regiment, and
  • married and settled into quiet life. And as he was now nearly fifty
  • years of age, twenty-four of which he had passed in the corps, he had a
  • singular museum. He was one of the best shots in England, and, for a
  • heavy man, one of the best riders; indeed, he and Crawley had been
  • rivals when the latter was in the Army. To be brief, Mr. Macmurdo was
  • lying in bed, reading in Bell's Life an account of that very fight
  • between the Tutbury Pet and the Barking Butcher, which has been before
  • mentioned--a venerable bristly warrior, with a little close-shaved grey
  • head, with a silk nightcap, a red face and nose, and a great dyed
  • moustache.
  • When Rawdon told the Captain he wanted a friend, the latter knew
  • perfectly well on what duty of friendship he was called to act, and
  • indeed had conducted scores of affairs for his acquaintances with the
  • greatest prudence and skill. His Royal Highness the late lamented
  • Commander-in-Chief had had the greatest regard for Macmurdo on this
  • account, and he was the common refuge of gentlemen in trouble.
  • "What's the row about, Crawley, my boy?" said the old warrior. "No
  • more gambling business, hay, like that when we shot Captain Marker?"
  • "It's about--about my wife," Crawley answered, casting down his eyes
  • and turning very red.
  • The other gave a whistle. "I always said she'd throw you over," he
  • began--indeed there were bets in the regiment and at the clubs
  • regarding the probable fate of Colonel Crawley, so lightly was his
  • wife's character esteemed by his comrades and the world; but seeing the
  • savage look with which Rawdon answered the expression of this opinion,
  • Macmurdo did not think fit to enlarge upon it further.
  • "Is there no way out of it, old boy?" the Captain continued in a grave
  • tone. "Is it only suspicion, you know, or--or what is it? Any letters?
  • Can't you keep it quiet? Best not make any noise about a thing of that
  • sort if you can help it." "Think of his only finding her out now," the
  • Captain thought to himself, and remembered a hundred particular
  • conversations at the mess-table, in which Mrs. Crawley's reputation had
  • been torn to shreds.
  • "There's no way but one out of it," Rawdon replied--"and there's only a
  • way out of it for one of us, Mac--do you understand? I was put out of
  • the way--arrested--I found 'em alone together. I told him he was a
  • liar and a coward, and knocked him down and thrashed him."
  • "Serve him right," Macmurdo said. "Who is it?"
  • Rawdon answered it was Lord Steyne.
  • "The deuce! a Marquis! they said he--that is, they said you--"
  • "What the devil do you mean?" roared out Rawdon; "do you mean that you
  • ever heard a fellow doubt about my wife and didn't tell me, Mac?"
  • "The world's very censorious, old boy," the other replied. "What the
  • deuce was the good of my telling you what any tom-fools talked about?"
  • "It was damned unfriendly, Mac," said Rawdon, quite overcome; and,
  • covering his face with his hands, he gave way to an emotion, the sight
  • of which caused the tough old campaigner opposite him to wince with
  • sympathy. "Hold up, old boy," he said; "great man or not, we'll put a
  • bullet in him, damn him. As for women, they're all so."
  • "You don't know how fond I was of that one," Rawdon said,
  • half-inarticulately. "Damme, I followed her like a footman. I gave up
  • everything I had to her. I'm a beggar because I would marry her. By
  • Jove, sir, I've pawned my own watch in order to get her anything she
  • fancied; and she--she's been making a purse for herself all the time,
  • and grudged me a hundred pound to get me out of quod." He then fiercely
  • and incoherently, and with an agitation under which his counsellor had
  • never before seen him labour, told Macmurdo the circumstances of the
  • story. His adviser caught at some stray hints in it. "She may be
  • innocent, after all," he said. "She says so. Steyne has been a hundred
  • times alone with her in the house before."
  • "It may be so," Rawdon answered sadly, "but this don't look very
  • innocent": and he showed the Captain the thousand-pound note which he
  • had found in Becky's pocket-book. "This is what he gave her, Mac, and
  • she kep it unknown to me; and with this money in the house, she refused
  • to stand by me when I was locked up." The Captain could not but own
  • that the secreting of the money had a very ugly look.
  • Whilst they were engaged in their conference, Rawdon dispatched Captain
  • Macmurdo's servant to Curzon Street, with an order to the domestic
  • there to give up a bag of clothes of which the Colonel had great need.
  • And during the man's absence, and with great labour and a Johnson's
  • Dictionary, which stood them in much stead, Rawdon and his second
  • composed a letter, which the latter was to send to Lord Steyne.
  • Captain Macmurdo had the honour of waiting upon the Marquis of Steyne,
  • on the part of Colonel Rawdon Crawley, and begged to intimate that he
  • was empowered by the Colonel to make any arrangements for the meeting
  • which, he had no doubt, it was his Lordship's intention to demand, and
  • which the circumstances of the morning had rendered inevitable.
  • Captain Macmurdo begged Lord Steyne, in the most polite manner, to
  • appoint a friend, with whom he (Captain M.M.) might communicate, and
  • desired that the meeting might take place with as little delay as
  • possible.
  • In a postscript the Captain stated that he had in his possession a
  • bank-note for a large amount, which Colonel Crawley had reason to
  • suppose was the property of the Marquis of Steyne. And he was anxious,
  • on the Colonel's behalf, to give up the note to its owner.
  • By the time this note was composed, the Captain's servant returned from
  • his mission to Colonel Crawley's house in Curzon Street, but without
  • the carpet-bag and portmanteau, for which he had been sent, and with a
  • very puzzled and odd face.
  • "They won't give 'em up," said the man; "there's a regular shinty in
  • the house, and everything at sixes and sevens. The landlord's come in
  • and took possession. The servants was a drinkin' up in the
  • drawingroom. They said--they said you had gone off with the plate,
  • Colonel"--the man added after a pause--"One of the servants is off
  • already. And Simpson, the man as was very noisy and drunk indeed, says
  • nothing shall go out of the house until his wages is paid up."
  • The account of this little revolution in May Fair astonished and gave a
  • little gaiety to an otherwise very triste conversation. The two
  • officers laughed at Rawdon's discomfiture.
  • "I'm glad the little 'un isn't at home," Rawdon said, biting his nails.
  • "You remember him, Mac, don't you, in the Riding School? How he sat the
  • kicker to be sure! didn't he?"
  • "That he did, old boy," said the good-natured Captain.
  • Little Rawdon was then sitting, one of fifty gown boys, in the Chapel
  • of Whitefriars School, thinking, not about the sermon, but about going
  • home next Saturday, when his father would certainly tip him and perhaps
  • would take him to the play.
  • "He's a regular trump, that boy," the father went on, still musing
  • about his son. "I say, Mac, if anything goes wrong--if I drop--I
  • should like you to--to go and see him, you know, and say that I was
  • very fond of him, and that. And--dash it--old chap, give him these
  • gold sleeve-buttons: it's all I've got." He covered his face with his
  • black hands, over which the tears rolled and made furrows of white.
  • Mr. Macmurdo had also occasion to take off his silk night-cap and rub
  • it across his eyes.
  • "Go down and order some breakfast," he said to his man in a loud
  • cheerful voice. "What'll you have, Crawley? Some devilled kidneys and
  • a herring--let's say. And, Clay, lay out some dressing things for the
  • Colonel: we were always pretty much of a size, Rawdon, my boy, and
  • neither of us ride so light as we did when we first entered the corps."
  • With which, and leaving the Colonel to dress himself, Macmurdo turned
  • round towards the wall, and resumed the perusal of Bell's Life, until
  • such time as his friend's toilette was complete and he was at liberty
  • to commence his own.
  • This, as he was about to meet a lord, Captain Macmurdo performed with
  • particular care. He waxed his mustachios into a state of brilliant
  • polish and put on a tight cravat and a trim buff waistcoat, so that all
  • the young officers in the mess-room, whither Crawley had preceded his
  • friend, complimented Mac on his appearance at breakfast and asked if he
  • was going to be married that Sunday.
  • CHAPTER LV
  • In Which the Same Subject is Pursued
  • Becky did not rally from the state of stupor and confusion in which the
  • events of the previous night had plunged her intrepid spirit until the
  • bells of the Curzon Street Chapels were ringing for afternoon service,
  • and rising from her bed she began to ply her own bell, in order to
  • summon the French maid who had left her some hours before.
  • Mrs. Rawdon Crawley rang many times in vain; and though, on the last
  • occasion, she rang with such vehemence as to pull down the bell-rope,
  • Mademoiselle Fifine did not make her appearance--no, not though her
  • mistress, in a great pet, and with the bell-rope in her hand, came out
  • to the landing-place with her hair over her shoulders and screamed out
  • repeatedly for her attendant.
  • The truth is, she had quitted the premises for many hours, and upon
  • that permission which is called French leave among us. After picking up
  • the trinkets in the drawing-room, Mademoiselle had ascended to her own
  • apartments, packed and corded her own boxes there, tripped out and
  • called a cab for herself, brought down her trunks with her own hand,
  • and without ever so much as asking the aid of any of the other
  • servants, who would probably have refused it, as they hated her
  • cordially, and without wishing any one of them good-bye, had made her
  • exit from Curzon Street.
  • The game, in her opinion, was over in that little domestic
  • establishment. Fifine went off in a cab, as we have known more exalted
  • persons of her nation to do under similar circumstances: but, more
  • provident or lucky than these, she secured not only her own property,
  • but some of her mistress's (if indeed that lady could be said to have
  • any property at all)--and not only carried off the trinkets before
  • alluded to, and some favourite dresses on which she had long kept her
  • eye, but four richly gilt Louis Quatorze candlesticks, six gilt albums,
  • keepsakes, and Books of Beauty, a gold enamelled snuff-box which had
  • once belonged to Madame du Barri, and the sweetest little inkstand and
  • mother-of-pearl blotting book, which Becky used when she composed her
  • charming little pink notes, had vanished from the premises in Curzon
  • Street together with Mademoiselle Fifine, and all the silver laid on
  • the table for the little festin which Rawdon interrupted. The plated
  • ware Mademoiselle left behind her was too cumbrous, probably for which
  • reason, no doubt, she also left the fire irons, the chimney-glasses,
  • and the rosewood cottage piano.
  • A lady very like her subsequently kept a milliner's shop in the Rue du
  • Helder at Paris, where she lived with great credit and enjoyed the
  • patronage of my Lord Steyne. This person always spoke of England as of
  • the most treacherous country in the world, and stated to her young
  • pupils that she had been affreusement vole by natives of that island.
  • It was no doubt compassion for her misfortunes which induced the
  • Marquis of Steyne to be so very kind to Madame de Saint-Amaranthe. May
  • she flourish as she deserves--she appears no more in our quarter of
  • Vanity Fair.
  • Hearing a buzz and a stir below, and indignant at the impudence of
  • those servants who would not answer her summons, Mrs. Crawley flung her
  • morning robe round her and descended majestically to the drawing-room,
  • whence the noise proceeded.
  • The cook was there with blackened face, seated on the beautiful chintz
  • sofa by the side of Mrs. Raggles, to whom she was administering
  • Maraschino. The page with the sugar-loaf buttons, who carried about
  • Becky's pink notes, and jumped about her little carriage with such
  • alacrity, was now engaged putting his fingers into a cream dish; the
  • footman was talking to Raggles, who had a face full of perplexity and
  • woe--and yet, though the door was open, and Becky had been screaming a
  • half-dozen of times a few feet off, not one of her attendants had
  • obeyed her call. "Have a little drop, do'ee now, Mrs. Raggles," the
  • cook was saying as Becky entered, the white cashmere dressing-gown
  • flouncing around her.
  • "Simpson! Trotter!" the mistress of the house cried in great wrath.
  • "How dare you stay here when you heard me call? How dare you sit down
  • in my presence? Where's my maid?" The page withdrew his fingers from
  • his mouth with a momentary terror, but the cook took off a glass of
  • Maraschino, of which Mrs. Raggles had had enough, staring at Becky over
  • the little gilt glass as she drained its contents. The liquor appeared
  • to give the odious rebel courage.
  • "YOUR sofy, indeed!" Mrs. Cook said. "I'm a settin' on Mrs. Raggles's
  • sofy. Don't you stir, Mrs. Raggles, Mum. I'm a settin' on Mr. and Mrs.
  • Raggles's sofy, which they bought with honest money, and very dear it
  • cost 'em, too. And I'm thinkin' if I set here until I'm paid my wages,
  • I shall set a precious long time, Mrs. Raggles; and set I will,
  • too--ha! ha!" and with this she filled herself another glass of the
  • liquor and drank it with a more hideously satirical air.
  • "Trotter! Simpson! turn that drunken wretch out," screamed Mrs.
  • Crawley.
  • "I shawn't," said Trotter the footman; "turn out yourself. Pay our
  • selleries, and turn me out too. WE'LL go fast enough."
  • "Are you all here to insult me?" cried Becky in a fury; "when Colonel
  • Crawley comes home I'll--"
  • At this the servants burst into a horse haw-haw, in which, however,
  • Raggles, who still kept a most melancholy countenance, did not join.
  • "He ain't a coming back," Mr. Trotter resumed. "He sent for his
  • things, and I wouldn't let 'em go, although Mr. Raggles would; and I
  • don't b'lieve he's no more a Colonel than I am. He's hoff, and I
  • suppose you're a goin' after him. You're no better than swindlers,
  • both on you. Don't be a bullyin' ME. I won't stand it. Pay us our
  • selleries, I say. Pay us our selleries." It was evident, from Mr.
  • Trotter's flushed countenance and defective intonation, that he, too,
  • had had recourse to vinous stimulus.
  • "Mr. Raggles," said Becky in a passion of vexation, "you will not
  • surely let me be insulted by that drunken man?" "Hold your noise,
  • Trotter; do now," said Simpson the page. He was affected by his
  • mistress's deplorable situation, and succeeded in preventing an
  • outrageous denial of the epithet "drunken" on the footman's part.
  • "Oh, M'am," said Raggles, "I never thought to live to see this year
  • day: I've known the Crawley family ever since I was born. I lived
  • butler with Miss Crawley for thirty years; and I little thought one of
  • that family was a goin' to ruing me--yes, ruing me"--said the poor
  • fellow with tears in his eyes. "Har you a goin' to pay me? You've
  • lived in this 'ouse four year. You've 'ad my substance: my plate and
  • linning. You ho me a milk and butter bill of two 'undred pound, you
  • must 'ave noo laid heggs for your homlets, and cream for your spanil
  • dog."
  • "She didn't care what her own flesh and blood had," interposed the
  • cook. "Many's the time, he'd have starved but for me."
  • "He's a charaty-boy now, Cooky," said Mr. Trotter, with a drunken "ha!
  • ha!"--and honest Raggles continued, in a lamentable tone, an
  • enumeration of his griefs. All he said was true. Becky and her
  • husband had ruined him. He had bills coming due next week and no means
  • to meet them. He would be sold up and turned out of his shop and his
  • house, because he had trusted to the Crawley family. His tears and
  • lamentations made Becky more peevish than ever.
  • "You all seem to be against me," she said bitterly. "What do you want?
  • I can't pay you on Sunday. Come back to-morrow and I'll pay you
  • everything. I thought Colonel Crawley had settled with you. He will
  • to-morrow. I declare to you upon my honour that he left home this
  • morning with fifteen hundred pounds in his pocket-book. He has left me
  • nothing. Apply to him. Give me a bonnet and shawl and let me go out
  • and find him. There was a difference between us this morning. You all
  • seem to know it. I promise you upon my word that you shall all be
  • paid. He has got a good appointment. Let me go out and find him."
  • This audacious statement caused Raggles and the other personages
  • present to look at one another with a wild surprise, and with it
  • Rebecca left them. She went upstairs and dressed herself this time
  • without the aid of her French maid. She went into Rawdon's room, and
  • there saw that a trunk and bag were packed ready for removal, with a
  • pencil direction that they should be given when called for; then she
  • went into the Frenchwoman's garret; everything was clean, and all the
  • drawers emptied there. She bethought herself of the trinkets which had
  • been left on the ground and felt certain that the woman had fled. "Good
  • Heavens! was ever such ill luck as mine?" she said; "to be so near,
  • and to lose all. Is it all too late?" No; there was one chance more.
  • She dressed herself and went away unmolested this time, but alone. It
  • was four o'clock. She went swiftly down the streets (she had no money
  • to pay for a carriage), and never stopped until she came to Sir Pitt
  • Crawley's door, in Great Gaunt Street. Where was Lady Jane Crawley?
  • She was at church. Becky was not sorry. Sir Pitt was in his study, and
  • had given orders not to be disturbed--she must see him--she slipped by
  • the sentinel in livery at once, and was in Sir Pitt's room before the
  • astonished Baronet had even laid down the paper.
  • He turned red and started back from her with a look of great alarm and
  • horror.
  • "Do not look so," she said. "I am not guilty, Pitt, dear Pitt; you
  • were my friend once. Before God, I am not guilty. I seem so.
  • Everything is against me. And oh! at such a moment! just when all my
  • hopes were about to be realized: just when happiness was in store for
  • us."
  • "Is this true, what I see in the paper then?" Sir Pitt said--a
  • paragraph in which had greatly surprised him.
  • "It is true. Lord Steyne told me on Friday night, the night of that
  • fatal ball. He has been promised an appointment any time these six
  • months. Mr. Martyr, the Colonial Secretary, told him yesterday that it
  • was made out. That unlucky arrest ensued; that horrible meeting. I was
  • only guilty of too much devotedness to Rawdon's service. I have
  • received Lord Steyne alone a hundred times before. I confess I had
  • money of which Rawdon knew nothing. Don't you know how careless he is
  • of it, and could I dare to confide it to him?" And so she went on with
  • a perfectly connected story, which she poured into the ears of her
  • perplexed kinsman.
  • It was to the following effect. Becky owned, and with perfect
  • frankness, but deep contrition, that having remarked Lord Steyne's
  • partiality for her (at the mention of which Pitt blushed), and being
  • secure of her own virtue, she had determined to turn the great peer's
  • attachment to the advantage of herself and her family. "I looked for a
  • peerage for you, Pitt," she said (the brother-in-law again turned red).
  • "We have talked about it. Your genius and Lord Steyne's interest made
  • it more than probable, had not this dreadful calamity come to put an
  • end to all our hopes. But, first, I own that it was my object to
  • rescue my dear husband--him whom I love in spite of all his ill usage
  • and suspicions of me--to remove him from the poverty and ruin which was
  • impending over us. I saw Lord Steyne's partiality for me," she said,
  • casting down her eyes. "I own that I did everything in my power to
  • make myself pleasing to him, and as far as an honest woman may, to
  • secure his--his esteem. It was only on Friday morning that the news
  • arrived of the death of the Governor of Coventry Island, and my Lord
  • instantly secured the appointment for my dear husband. It was intended
  • as a surprise for him--he was to see it in the papers to-day. Even
  • after that horrid arrest took place (the expenses of which Lord Steyne
  • generously said he would settle, so that I was in a manner prevented
  • from coming to my husband's assistance), my Lord was laughing with me,
  • and saying that my dearest Rawdon would be consoled when he read of his
  • appointment in the paper, in that shocking spun--bailiff's house. And
  • then--then he came home. His suspicions were excited,--the dreadful
  • scene took place between my Lord and my cruel, cruel Rawdon--and, O my
  • God, what will happen next? Pitt, dear Pitt! pity me, and reconcile
  • us!" And as she spoke she flung herself down on her knees, and bursting
  • into tears, seized hold of Pitt's hand, which she kissed passionately.
  • It was in this very attitude that Lady Jane, who, returning from
  • church, ran to her husband's room directly she heard Mrs. Rawdon
  • Crawley was closeted there, found the Baronet and his sister-in-law.
  • "I am surprised that woman has the audacity to enter this house," Lady
  • Jane said, trembling in every limb and turning quite pale. (Her
  • Ladyship had sent out her maid directly after breakfast, who had
  • communicated with Raggles and Rawdon Crawley's household, who had told
  • her all, and a great deal more than they knew, of that story, and many
  • others besides). "How dare Mrs. Crawley to enter the house of--of an
  • honest family?"
  • Sir Pitt started back, amazed at his wife's display of vigour. Becky
  • still kept her kneeling posture and clung to Sir Pitt's hand.
  • "Tell her that she does not know all: Tell her that I am innocent,
  • dear Pitt," she whimpered out.
  • "Upon my word, my love, I think you do Mrs. Crawley injustice," Sir
  • Pitt said; at which speech Rebecca was vastly relieved. "Indeed I
  • believe her to be--"
  • "To be what?" cried out Lady Jane, her clear voice thrilling and, her
  • heart beating violently as she spoke. "To be a wicked woman--a
  • heartless mother, a false wife? She never loved her dear little boy,
  • who used to fly here and tell me of her cruelty to him. She never came
  • into a family but she strove to bring misery with her and to weaken the
  • most sacred affections with her wicked flattery and falsehoods. She
  • has deceived her husband, as she has deceived everybody; her soul is
  • black with vanity, worldliness, and all sorts of crime. I tremble when
  • I touch her. I keep my children out of her sight."
  • "Lady Jane!" cried Sir Pitt, starting up, "this is really language--"
  • "I have been a true and faithful wife to you, Sir Pitt," Lady Jane
  • continued, intrepidly; "I have kept my marriage vow as I made it to God
  • and have been obedient and gentle as a wife should. But righteous
  • obedience has its limits, and I declare that I will not bear that--that
  • woman again under my roof; if she enters it, I and my children will
  • leave it. She is not worthy to sit down with Christian people.
  • You--you must choose, sir, between her and me"; and with this my Lady
  • swept out of the room, fluttering with her own audacity, and leaving
  • Rebecca and Sir Pitt not a little astonished at it.
  • As for Becky, she was not hurt; nay, she was pleased. "It was the
  • diamond-clasp you gave me," she said to Sir Pitt, reaching him out her
  • hand; and before she left him (for which event you may be sure my Lady
  • Jane was looking out from her dressing-room window in the upper story)
  • the Baronet had promised to go and seek out his brother, and endeavour
  • to bring about a reconciliation.
  • Rawdon found some of the young fellows of the regiment seated in the
  • mess-room at breakfast, and was induced without much difficulty to
  • partake of that meal, and of the devilled legs of fowls and soda-water
  • with which these young gentlemen fortified themselves. Then they had a
  • conversation befitting the day and their time of life: about the next
  • pigeon-match at Battersea, with relative bets upon Ross and
  • Osbaldiston; about Mademoiselle Ariane of the French Opera, and who had
  • left her, and how she was consoled by Panther Carr; and about the fight
  • between the Butcher and the Pet, and the probabilities that it was a
  • cross. Young Tandyman, a hero of seventeen, laboriously endeavouring
  • to get up a pair of mustachios, had seen the fight, and spoke in the
  • most scientific manner about the battle and the condition of the men.
  • It was he who had driven the Butcher on to the ground in his drag and
  • passed the whole of the previous night with him. Had there not been
  • foul play he must have won it. All the old files of the Ring were in
  • it; and Tandyman wouldn't pay; no, dammy, he wouldn't pay. It was but
  • a year since the young Cornet, now so knowing a hand in Cribb's
  • parlour, had a still lingering liking for toffy, and used to be birched
  • at Eton.
  • So they went on talking about dancers, fights, drinking, demireps,
  • until Macmurdo came down and joined the boys and the conversation. He
  • did not appear to think that any especial reverence was due to their
  • boyhood; the old fellow cut in with stories, to the full as choice as
  • any the youngest rake present had to tell--nor did his own grey hairs
  • nor their smooth faces detain him. Old Mac was famous for his good
  • stories. He was not exactly a lady's man; that is, men asked him to
  • dine rather at the houses of their mistresses than of their mothers.
  • There can scarcely be a life lower, perhaps, than his, but he was quite
  • contented with it, such as it was, and led it in perfect good nature,
  • simplicity, and modesty of demeanour.
  • By the time Mac had finished a copious breakfast, most of the others
  • had concluded their meal. Young Lord Varinas was smoking an immense
  • Meerschaum pipe, while Captain Hugues was employed with a cigar: that
  • violent little devil Tandyman, with his little bull-terrier between his
  • legs, was tossing for shillings with all his might (that fellow was
  • always at some game or other) against Captain Deuceace; and Mac and
  • Rawdon walked off to the Club, neither, of course, having given any
  • hint of the business which was occupying their minds. Both, on the
  • other hand, had joined pretty gaily in the conversation, for why should
  • they interrupt it? Feasting, drinking, ribaldry, laughter, go on
  • alongside of all sorts of other occupations in Vanity Fair--the crowds
  • were pouring out of church as Rawdon and his friend passed down St.
  • James's Street and entered into their Club.
  • The old bucks and habitues, who ordinarily stand gaping and grinning
  • out of the great front window of the Club, had not arrived at their
  • posts as yet--the newspaper-room was almost empty. One man was present
  • whom Rawdon did not know; another to whom he owed a little score for
  • whist, and whom, in consequence, he did not care to meet; a third was
  • reading the Royalist (a periodical famous for its scandal and its
  • attachment to Church and King) Sunday paper at the table, and looking
  • up at Crawley with some interest, said, "Crawley, I congratulate you."
  • "What do you mean?" said the Colonel.
  • "It's in the Observer and the Royalist too," said Mr. Smith.
  • "What?" Rawdon cried, turning very red. He thought that the affair
  • with Lord Steyne was already in the public prints. Smith looked up
  • wondering and smiling at the agitation which the Colonel exhibited as
  • he took up the paper and, trembling, began to read.
  • Mr. Smith and Mr. Brown (the gentleman with whom Rawdon had the
  • outstanding whist account) had been talking about the Colonel just
  • before he came in.
  • "It is come just in the nick of time," said Smith. "I suppose Crawley
  • had not a shilling in the world."
  • "It's a wind that blows everybody good," Mr. Brown said. "He can't go
  • away without paying me a pony he owes me."
  • "What's the salary?" asked Smith.
  • "Two or three thousand," answered the other. "But the climate's so
  • infernal, they don't enjoy it long. Liverseege died after eighteen
  • months of it, and the man before went off in six weeks, I hear."
  • "Some people say his brother is a very clever man. I always found him
  • a d------ bore," Smith ejaculated. "He must have good interest, though.
  • He must have got the Colonel the place."
  • "He!" said Brown, with a sneer. "Pooh. It was Lord Steyne got it."
  • "How do you mean?"
  • "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband," answered the other
  • enigmatically, and went to read his papers.
  • Rawdon, for his part, read in the Royalist the following astonishing
  • paragraph:
  • GOVERNORSHIP OF COVENTRY ISLAND.--H.M.S. Yellowjack, Commander
  • Jaunders, has brought letters and papers from Coventry Island. H. E.
  • Sir Thomas Liverseege had fallen a victim to the prevailing fever at
  • Swampton. His loss is deeply felt in the flourishing colony. We hear
  • that the Governorship has been offered to Colonel Rawdon Crawley, C.B.,
  • a distinguished Waterloo officer. We need not only men of acknowledged
  • bravery, but men of administrative talents to superintend the affairs
  • of our colonies, and we have no doubt that the gentleman selected by
  • the Colonial Office to fill the lamented vacancy which has occurred at
  • Coventry Island is admirably calculated for the post which he is about
  • to occupy.
  • "Coventry Island! Where was it? Who had appointed him to the
  • government? You must take me out as your secretary, old boy," Captain
  • Macmurdo said laughing; and as Crawley and his friend sat wondering and
  • perplexed over the announcement, the Club waiter brought in to the
  • Colonel a card on which the name of Mr. Wenham was engraved, who begged
  • to see Colonel Crawley.
  • The Colonel and his aide-de-camp went out to meet the gentleman,
  • rightly conjecturing that he was an emissary of Lord Steyne. "How d'ye
  • do, Crawley? I am glad to see you," said Mr. Wenham with a bland smile,
  • and grasping Crawley's hand with great cordiality.
  • "You come, I suppose, from--"
  • "Exactly," said Mr. Wenham.
  • "Then this is my friend Captain Macmurdo, of the Life Guards Green."
  • "Delighted to know Captain Macmurdo, I'm sure," Mr. Wenham said and
  • tendered another smile and shake of the hand to the second, as he had
  • done to the principal. Mac put out one finger, armed with a buckskin
  • glove, and made a very frigid bow to Mr. Wenham over his tight cravat.
  • He was, perhaps, discontented at being put in communication with a
  • pekin, and thought that Lord Steyne should have sent him a Colonel at
  • the very least.
  • "As Macmurdo acts for me, and knows what I mean," Crawley said, "I had
  • better retire and leave you together."
  • "Of course," said Macmurdo.
  • "By no means, my dear Colonel," Mr. Wenham said; "the interview which I
  • had the honour of requesting was with you personally, though the
  • company of Captain Macmurdo cannot fail to be also most pleasing. In
  • fact, Captain, I hope that our conversation will lead to none but the
  • most agreeable results, very different from those which my friend
  • Colonel Crawley appears to anticipate."
  • "Humph!" said Captain Macmurdo. Be hanged to these civilians, he
  • thought to himself, they are always for arranging and speechifying. Mr.
  • Wenham took a chair which was not offered to him--took a paper from his
  • pocket, and resumed--
  • "You have seen this gratifying announcement in the papers this morning,
  • Colonel? Government has secured a most valuable servant, and you, if
  • you accept office, as I presume you will, an excellent appointment.
  • Three thousand a year, delightful climate, excellent government-house,
  • all your own way in the Colony, and a certain promotion. I
  • congratulate you with all my heart. I presume you know, gentlemen, to
  • whom my friend is indebted for this piece of patronage?"
  • "Hanged if I know," the Captain said; his principal turned very red.
  • "To one of the most generous and kindest men in the world, as he is one
  • of the greatest--to my excellent friend, the Marquis of Steyne."
  • "I'll see him d---- before I take his place," growled out Rawdon.
  • "You are irritated against my noble friend," Mr. Wenham calmly resumed;
  • "and now, in the name of common sense and justice, tell me why?"
  • "WHY?" cried Rawdon in surprise.
  • "Why? Dammy!" said the Captain, ringing his stick on the ground.
  • "Dammy, indeed," said Mr. Wenham with the most agreeable smile; "still,
  • look at the matter as a man of the world--as an honest man--and see if
  • you have not been in the wrong. You come home from a journey, and
  • find--what?--my Lord Steyne supping at your house in Curzon Street with
  • Mrs. Crawley. Is the circumstance strange or novel? Has he not been a
  • hundred times before in the same position? Upon my honour and word as a
  • gentleman"--Mr. Wenham here put his hand on his waistcoat with a
  • parliamentary air--"I declare I think that your suspicions are
  • monstrous and utterly unfounded, and that they injure an honourable
  • gentleman who has proved his good-will towards you by a thousand
  • benefactions--and a most spotless and innocent lady."
  • "You don't mean to say that--that Crawley's mistaken?" said Mr.
  • Macmurdo.
  • "I believe that Mrs. Crawley is as innocent as my wife, Mrs. Wenham,"
  • Mr. Wenham said with great energy. "I believe that, misled by an
  • infernal jealousy, my friend here strikes a blow against not only an
  • infirm and old man of high station, his constant friend and benefactor,
  • but against his wife, his own dearest honour, his son's future
  • reputation, and his own prospects in life."
  • "I will tell you what happened," Mr. Wenham continued with great
  • solemnity; "I was sent for this morning by my Lord Steyne, and found
  • him in a pitiable state, as, I need hardly inform Colonel Crawley, any
  • man of age and infirmity would be after a personal conflict with a man
  • of your strength. I say to your face; it was a cruel advantage you
  • took of that strength, Colonel Crawley. It was not only the body of my
  • noble and excellent friend which was wounded--his heart, sir, was
  • bleeding. A man whom he had loaded with benefits and regarded with
  • affection had subjected him to the foulest indignity. What was this
  • very appointment, which appears in the journals of to-day, but a proof
  • of his kindness to you? When I saw his Lordship this morning I found
  • him in a state pitiable indeed to see, and as anxious as you are to
  • revenge the outrage committed upon him, by blood. You know he has
  • given his proofs, I presume, Colonel Crawley?"
  • "He has plenty of pluck," said the Colonel. "Nobody ever said he
  • hadn't."
  • "His first order to me was to write a letter of challenge, and to carry
  • it to Colonel Crawley. One or other of us," he said, "must not survive
  • the outrage of last night."
  • Crawley nodded. "You're coming to the point, Wenham," he said.
  • "I tried my utmost to calm Lord Steyne. 'Good God! sir,' I said, 'how I
  • regret that Mrs. Wenham and myself had not accepted Mrs. Crawley's
  • invitation to sup with her!'"
  • "She asked you to sup with her?" Captain Macmurdo said.
  • "After the opera. Here's the note of invitation--stop--no, this is
  • another paper--I thought I had it, but it's of no consequence, and I
  • pledge you my word to the fact. If we had come--and it was only one of
  • Mrs. Wenham's headaches which prevented us--she suffers under them a
  • good deal, especially in the spring--if we had come, and you had
  • returned home, there would have been no quarrel, no insult, no
  • suspicion--and so it is positively because my poor wife has a headache
  • that you are to bring death down upon two men of honour and plunge two
  • of the most excellent and ancient families in the kingdom into disgrace
  • and sorrow."
  • Mr. Macmurdo looked at his principal with the air of a man profoundly
  • puzzled, and Rawdon felt with a kind of rage that his prey was escaping
  • him. He did not believe a word of the story, and yet, how discredit or
  • disprove it?
  • Mr. Wenham continued with the same fluent oratory, which in his place
  • in Parliament he had so often practised--"I sat for an hour or more by
  • Lord Steyne's bedside, beseeching, imploring Lord Steyne to forego his
  • intention of demanding a meeting. I pointed out to him that the
  • circumstances were after all suspicious--they were suspicious. I
  • acknowledge it--any man in your position might have been taken in--I
  • said that a man furious with jealousy is to all intents and purposes a
  • madman, and should be as such regarded--that a duel between you must
  • lead to the disgrace of all parties concerned--that a man of his
  • Lordship's exalted station had no right in these days, when the most
  • atrocious revolutionary principles, and the most dangerous levelling
  • doctrines are preached among the vulgar, to create a public scandal;
  • and that, however innocent, the common people would insist that he was
  • guilty. In fine, I implored him not to send the challenge."
  • "I don't believe one word of the whole story," said Rawdon, grinding
  • his teeth. "I believe it a d------ lie, and that you're in it, Mr.
  • Wenham. If the challenge don't come from him, by Jove it shall come
  • from me."
  • Mr. Wenham turned deadly pale at this savage interruption of the
  • Colonel and looked towards the door.
  • But he found a champion in Captain Macmurdo. That gentleman rose up
  • with an oath and rebuked Rawdon for his language. "You put the affair
  • into my hands, and you shall act as I think fit, by Jove, and not as
  • you do. You have no right to insult Mr. Wenham with this sort of
  • language; and dammy, Mr. Wenham, you deserve an apology. And as for a
  • challenge to Lord Steyne, you may get somebody else to carry it, I
  • won't. If my lord, after being thrashed, chooses to sit still, dammy
  • let him. And as for the affair with--with Mrs. Crawley, my belief is,
  • there's nothing proved at all: that your wife's innocent, as innocent
  • as Mr. Wenham says she is; and at any rate that you would be a d--fool
  • not to take the place and hold your tongue."
  • "Captain Macmurdo, you speak like a man of sense," Mr. Wenham cried
  • out, immensely relieved--"I forget any words that Colonel Crawley has
  • used in the irritation of the moment."
  • "I thought you would," Rawdon said with a sneer.
  • "Shut your mouth, you old stoopid," the Captain said good-naturedly.
  • "Mr. Wenham ain't a fighting man; and quite right, too."
  • "This matter, in my belief," the Steyne emissary cried, "ought to be
  • buried in the most profound oblivion. A word concerning it should
  • never pass these doors. I speak in the interest of my friend, as well
  • as of Colonel Crawley, who persists in considering me his enemy."
  • "I suppose Lord Steyne won't talk about it very much," said Captain
  • Macmurdo; "and I don't see why our side should. The affair ain't a
  • very pretty one, any way you take it, and the less said about it the
  • better. It's you are thrashed, and not us; and if you are satisfied,
  • why, I think, we should be."
  • Mr. Wenham took his hat, upon this, and Captain Macmurdo following him
  • to the door, shut it upon himself and Lord Steyne's agent, leaving
  • Rawdon chafing within. When the two were on the other side, Macmurdo
  • looked hard at the other ambassador and with an expression of anything
  • but respect on his round jolly face.
  • "You don't stick at a trifle, Mr. Wenham," he said.
  • "You flatter me, Captain Macmurdo," answered the other with a smile.
  • "Upon my honour and conscience now, Mrs. Crawley did ask us to sup
  • after the opera."
  • "Of course; and Mrs. Wenham had one of her head-aches. I say, I've got
  • a thousand-pound note here, which I will give you if you will give me a
  • receipt, please; and I will put the note up in an envelope for Lord
  • Steyne. My man shan't fight him. But we had rather not take his money."
  • "It was all a mistake--all a mistake, my dear sir," the other said with
  • the utmost innocence of manner; and was bowed down the Club steps by
  • Captain Macmurdo, just as Sir Pitt Crawley ascended them. There was a
  • slight acquaintance between these two gentlemen, and the Captain, going
  • back with the Baronet to the room where the latter's brother was, told
  • Sir Pitt, in confidence, that he had made the affair all right between
  • Lord Steyne and the Colonel.
  • Sir Pitt was well pleased, of course, at this intelligence, and
  • congratulated his brother warmly upon the peaceful issue of the affair,
  • making appropriate moral remarks upon the evils of duelling and the
  • unsatisfactory nature of that sort of settlement of disputes.
  • And after this preface, he tried with all his eloquence to effect a
  • reconciliation between Rawdon and his wife. He recapitulated the
  • statements which Becky had made, pointed out the probabilities of their
  • truth, and asserted his own firm belief in her innocence.
  • But Rawdon would not hear of it. "She has kep money concealed from me
  • these ten years," he said "She swore, last night only, she had none
  • from Steyne. She knew it was all up, directly I found it. If she's
  • not guilty, Pitt, she's as bad as guilty, and I'll never see her
  • again--never." His head sank down on his chest as he spoke the words,
  • and he looked quite broken and sad.
  • "Poor old boy," Macmurdo said, shaking his head.
  • Rawdon Crawley resisted for some time the idea of taking the place
  • which had been procured for him by so odious a patron, and was also for
  • removing the boy from the school where Lord Steyne's interest had
  • placed him. He was induced, however, to acquiesce in these benefits by
  • the entreaties of his brother and Macmurdo, but mainly by the latter,
  • pointing out to him what a fury Steyne would be in to think that his
  • enemy's fortune was made through his means.
  • When the Marquis of Steyne came abroad after his accident, the Colonial
  • Secretary bowed up to him and congratulated himself and the Service
  • upon having made so excellent an appointment. These congratulations
  • were received with a degree of gratitude which may be imagined on the
  • part of Lord Steyne.
  • The secret of the rencontre between him and Colonel Crawley was buried
  • in the profoundest oblivion, as Wenham said; that is, by the seconds
  • and the principals. But before that evening was over it was talked of
  • at fifty dinner-tables in Vanity Fair. Little Cackleby himself went to
  • seven evening parties and told the story with comments and emendations
  • at each place. How Mrs. Washington White revelled in it! The
  • Bishopess of Ealing was shocked beyond expression; the Bishop went and
  • wrote his name down in the visiting-book at Gaunt House that very day.
  • Little Southdown was sorry; so you may be sure was his sister Lady
  • Jane, very sorry. Lady Southdown wrote it off to her other daughter at
  • the Cape of Good Hope. It was town-talk for at least three days, and
  • was only kept out of the newspapers by the exertions of Mr. Wagg,
  • acting upon a hint from Mr. Wenham.
  • The bailiffs and brokers seized upon poor Raggles in Curzon Street, and
  • the late fair tenant of that poor little mansion was in the
  • meanwhile--where? Who cared! Who asked after a day or two? Was she
  • guilty or not? We all know how charitable the world is, and how the
  • verdict of Vanity Fair goes when there is a doubt. Some people said
  • she had gone to Naples in pursuit of Lord Steyne, whilst others averred
  • that his Lordship quitted that city and fled to Palermo on hearing of
  • Becky's arrival; some said she was living in Bierstadt, and had become
  • a dame d'honneur to the Queen of Bulgaria; some that she was at
  • Boulogne; and others, at a boarding-house at Cheltenham.
  • Rawdon made her a tolerable annuity, and we may be sure that she was a
  • woman who could make a little money go a great way, as the saying is.
  • He would have paid his debts on leaving England, could he have got any
  • Insurance Office to take his life, but the climate of Coventry Island
  • was so bad that he could borrow no money on the strength of his salary.
  • He remitted, however, to his brother punctually, and wrote to his
  • little boy regularly every mail. He kept Macmurdo in cigars and sent
  • over quantities of shells, cayenne pepper, hot pickles, guava jelly,
  • and colonial produce to Lady Jane. He sent his brother home the Swamp
  • Town Gazette, in which the new Governor was praised with immense
  • enthusiasm; whereas the Swamp Town Sentinel, whose wife was not asked
  • to Government House, declared that his Excellency was a tyrant,
  • compared to whom Nero was an enlightened philanthropist. Little Rawdon
  • used to like to get the papers and read about his Excellency.
  • His mother never made any movement to see the child. He went home to
  • his aunt for Sundays and holidays; he soon knew every bird's nest about
  • Queen's Crawley, and rode out with Sir Huddlestone's hounds, which he
  • admired so on his first well-remembered visit to Hampshire.
  • CHAPTER LVI
  • Georgy is Made a Gentleman
  • Georgy Osborne was now fairly established in his grandfather's mansion
  • in Russell Square, occupant of his father's room in the house and heir
  • apparent of all the splendours there. The good looks, gallant bearing,
  • and gentlemanlike appearance of the boy won the grandsire's heart for
  • him. Mr. Osborne was as proud of him as ever he had been of the elder
  • George.
  • The child had many more luxuries and indulgences than had been awarded
  • his father. Osborne's commerce had prospered greatly of late years.
  • His wealth and importance in the City had very much increased. He had
  • been glad enough in former days to put the elder George to a good
  • private school; and a commission in the army for his son had been a
  • source of no small pride to him; for little George and his future
  • prospects the old man looked much higher. He would make a gentleman of
  • the little chap, was Mr. Osborne's constant saying regarding little
  • Georgy. He saw him in his mind's eye, a collegian, a Parliament man, a
  • Baronet, perhaps. The old man thought he would die contented if he
  • could see his grandson in a fair way to such honours. He would have
  • none but a tip-top college man to educate him--none of your quacks and
  • pretenders--no, no. A few years before, he used to be savage, and
  • inveigh against all parsons, scholars, and the like declaring that they
  • were a pack of humbugs, and quacks that weren't fit to get their living
  • but by grinding Latin and Greek, and a set of supercilious dogs that
  • pretended to look down upon British merchants and gentlemen, who could
  • buy up half a hundred of 'em. He would mourn now, in a very solemn
  • manner, that his own education had been neglected, and repeatedly point
  • out, in pompous orations to Georgy, the necessity and excellence of
  • classical acquirements.
  • When they met at dinner the grandsire used to ask the lad what he had
  • been reading during the day, and was greatly interested at the report
  • the boy gave of his own studies, pretending to understand little George
  • when he spoke regarding them. He made a hundred blunders and showed
  • his ignorance many a time. It did not increase the respect which the
  • child had for his senior. A quick brain and a better education
  • elsewhere showed the boy very soon that his grandsire was a dullard,
  • and he began accordingly to command him and to look down upon him; for
  • his previous education, humble and contracted as it had been, had made
  • a much better gentleman of Georgy than any plans of his grandfather
  • could make him. He had been brought up by a kind, weak, and tender
  • woman, who had no pride about anything but about him, and whose heart
  • was so pure and whose bearing was so meek and humble that she could not
  • but needs be a true lady. She busied herself in gentle offices and
  • quiet duties; if she never said brilliant things, she never spoke or
  • thought unkind ones; guileless and artless, loving and pure, indeed how
  • could our poor little Amelia be other than a real gentlewoman!
  • Young Georgy lorded over this soft and yielding nature; and the
  • contrast of its simplicity and delicacy with the coarse pomposity of
  • the dull old man with whom he next came in contact made him lord over
  • the latter too. If he had been a Prince Royal he could not have been
  • better brought up to think well of himself.
  • Whilst his mother was yearning after him at home, and I do believe
  • every hour of the day, and during most hours of the sad lonely nights,
  • thinking of him, this young gentleman had a number of pleasures and
  • consolations administered to him, which made him for his part bear the
  • separation from Amelia very easily. Little boys who cry when they are
  • going to school cry because they are going to a very uncomfortable
  • place. It is only a few who weep from sheer affection. When you think
  • that the eyes of your childhood dried at the sight of a piece of
  • gingerbread, and that a plum cake was a compensation for the agony of
  • parting with your mamma and sisters, oh my friend and brother, you need
  • not be too confident of your own fine feelings.
  • Well, then, Master George Osborne had every comfort and luxury that a
  • wealthy and lavish old grandfather thought fit to provide. The
  • coachman was instructed to purchase for him the handsomest pony which
  • could be bought for money, and on this George was taught to ride, first
  • at a riding-school, whence, after having performed satisfactorily
  • without stirrups, and over the leaping-bar, he was conducted through
  • the New Road to Regent's Park, and then to Hyde Park, where he rode in
  • state with Martin the coachman behind him. Old Osborne, who took
  • matters more easily in the City now, where he left his affairs to his
  • junior partners, would often ride out with Miss O. in the same
  • fashionable direction. As little Georgy came cantering up with his
  • dandified air and his heels down, his grandfather would nudge the lad's
  • aunt and say, "Look, Miss O." And he would laugh, and his face would
  • grow red with pleasure, as he nodded out of the window to the boy, as
  • the groom saluted the carriage, and the footman saluted Master George.
  • Here too his aunt, Mrs. Frederick Bullock (whose chariot might daily be
  • seen in the Ring, with bullocks or emblazoned on the panels and
  • harness, and three pasty-faced little Bullocks, covered with cockades
  • and feathers, staring from the windows) Mrs. Frederick Bullock, I say,
  • flung glances of the bitterest hatred at the little upstart as he rode
  • by with his hand on his side and his hat on one ear, as proud as a lord.
  • Though he was scarcely eleven years of age, Master George wore straps
  • and the most beautiful little boots like a man. He had gilt spurs, and
  • a gold-headed whip, and a fine pin in his handkerchief, and the neatest
  • little kid gloves which Lamb's Conduit Street could furnish. His mother
  • had given him a couple of neckcloths, and carefully hemmed and made
  • some little shirts for him; but when her Eli came to see the widow,
  • they were replaced by much finer linen. He had little jewelled buttons
  • in the lawn shirt fronts. Her humble presents had been put aside--I
  • believe Miss Osborne had given them to the coachman's boy. Amelia
  • tried to think she was pleased at the change. Indeed, she was happy
  • and charmed to see the boy looking so beautiful.
  • She had had a little black profile of him done for a shilling, and this
  • was hung up by the side of another portrait over her bed. One day the
  • boy came on his accustomed visit, galloping down the little street at
  • Brompton, and bringing, as usual, all the inhabitants to the windows to
  • admire his splendour, and with great eagerness and a look of triumph in
  • his face, he pulled a case out of his great-coat--it was a natty white
  • great-coat, with a cape and a velvet collar--pulled out a red morocco
  • case, which he gave her.
  • "I bought it with my own money, Mamma," he said. "I thought you'd like
  • it."
  • Amelia opened the case, and giving a little cry of delighted affection,
  • seized the boy and embraced him a hundred times. It was a miniature of
  • himself, very prettily done (though not half handsome enough, we may be
  • sure, the widow thought). His grandfather had wished to have a picture
  • of him by an artist whose works, exhibited in a shop-window, in
  • Southampton Row, had caught the old gentleman's eye; and George, who
  • had plenty of money, bethought him of asking the painter how much a
  • copy of the little portrait would cost, saying that he would pay for it
  • out of his own money and that he wanted to give it to his mother. The
  • pleased painter executed it for a small price, and old Osborne himself,
  • when he heard of the incident, growled out his satisfaction and gave
  • the boy twice as many sovereigns as he paid for the miniature.
  • But what was the grandfather's pleasure compared to Amelia's ecstacy?
  • That proof of the boy's affection charmed her so that she thought no
  • child in the world was like hers for goodness. For long weeks after,
  • the thought of his love made her happy. She slept better with the
  • picture under her pillow, and how many many times did she kiss it and
  • weep and pray over it! A small kindness from those she loved made that
  • timid heart grateful. Since her parting with George she had had no
  • such joy and consolation.
  • At his new home Master George ruled like a lord; at dinner he invited
  • the ladies to drink wine with the utmost coolness, and took off his
  • champagne in a way which charmed his old grandfather. "Look at him,"
  • the old man would say, nudging his neighbour with a delighted purple
  • face, "did you ever see such a chap? Lord, Lord! he'll be ordering a
  • dressing-case next, and razors to shave with; I'm blessed if he won't."
  • The antics of the lad did not, however, delight Mr. Osborne's friends
  • so much as they pleased the old gentleman. It gave Mr. Justice Coffin
  • no pleasure to hear Georgy cut into the conversation and spoil his
  • stories. Colonel Fogey was not interested in seeing the little boy half
  • tipsy. Mr. Sergeant Toffy's lady felt no particular gratitude, when,
  • with a twist of his elbow, he tilted a glass of port-wine over her
  • yellow satin and laughed at the disaster; nor was she better pleased,
  • although old Osborne was highly delighted, when Georgy "whopped" her
  • third boy (a young gentleman a year older than Georgy, and by chance
  • home for the holidays from Dr. Tickleus's at Ealing School) in Russell
  • Square. George's grandfather gave the boy a couple of sovereigns for
  • that feat and promised to reward him further for every boy above his
  • own size and age whom he whopped in a similar manner. It is difficult
  • to say what good the old man saw in these combats; he had a vague
  • notion that quarrelling made boys hardy, and that tyranny was a useful
  • accomplishment for them to learn. English youth have been so educated
  • time out of mind, and we have hundreds of thousands of apologists and
  • admirers of injustice, misery, and brutality, as perpetrated among
  • children. Flushed with praise and victory over Master Toffy, George
  • wished naturally to pursue his conquests further, and one day as he was
  • strutting about in prodigiously dandified new clothes, near St.
  • Pancras, and a young baker's boy made sarcastic comments upon his
  • appearance, the youthful patrician pulled off his dandy jacket with
  • great spirit, and giving it in charge to the friend who accompanied him
  • (Master Todd, of Great Coram Street, Russell Square, son of the junior
  • partner of the house of Osborne and Co.), George tried to whop the
  • little baker. But the chances of war were unfavourable this time, and
  • the little baker whopped Georgy, who came home with a rueful black eye
  • and all his fine shirt frill dabbled with the claret drawn from his own
  • little nose. He told his grandfather that he had been in combat with a
  • giant, and frightened his poor mother at Brompton with long, and by no
  • means authentic, accounts of the battle.
  • This young Todd, of Coram Street, Russell Square, was Master George's
  • great friend and admirer. They both had a taste for painting
  • theatrical characters; for hardbake and raspberry tarts; for sliding
  • and skating in the Regent's Park and the Serpentine, when the weather
  • permitted; for going to the play, whither they were often conducted, by
  • Mr. Osborne's orders, by Rowson, Master George's appointed
  • body-servant, with whom they sat in great comfort in the pit.
  • In the company of this gentleman they visited all the principal
  • theatres of the metropolis; knew the names of all the actors from Drury
  • Lane to Sadler's Wells; and performed, indeed, many of the plays to the
  • Todd family and their youthful friends, with West's famous characters,
  • on their pasteboard theatre. Rowson, the footman, who was of a
  • generous disposition, would not unfrequently, when in cash, treat his
  • young master to oysters after the play, and to a glass of rum-shrub for
  • a night-cap. We may be pretty certain that Mr. Rowson profited in his
  • turn by his young master's liberality and gratitude for the pleasures
  • to which the footman inducted him.
  • A famous tailor from the West End of the town--Mr. Osborne would have
  • none of your City or Holborn bunglers, he said, for the boy (though a
  • City tailor was good enough for HIM)--was summoned to ornament little
  • George's person, and was told to spare no expense in so doing. So, Mr.
  • Woolsey, of Conduit Street, gave a loose to his imagination and sent
  • the child home fancy trousers, fancy waistcoats, and fancy jackets
  • enough to furnish a school of little dandies. Georgy had little white
  • waistcoats for evening parties, and little cut velvet waistcoats for
  • dinners, and a dear little darling shawl dressing-gown, for all the
  • world like a little man. He dressed for dinner every day, "like a
  • regular West End swell," as his grandfather remarked; one of the
  • domestics was affected to his special service, attended him at his
  • toilette, answered his bell, and brought him his letters always on a
  • silver tray.
  • Georgy, after breakfast, would sit in the arm-chair in the dining-room
  • and read the Morning Post, just like a grown-up man. "How he DU dam
  • and swear," the servants would cry, delighted at his precocity. Those
  • who remembered the Captain his father, declared Master George was his
  • Pa, every inch of him. He made the house lively by his activity, his
  • imperiousness, his scolding, and his good-nature.
  • George's education was confided to a neighbouring scholar and private
  • pedagogue who "prepared young noblemen and gentlemen for the
  • Universities, the senate, and the learned professions: whose system
  • did not embrace the degrading corporal severities still practised at
  • the ancient places of education, and in whose family the pupils would
  • find the elegances of refined society and the confidence and affection
  • of a home." It was in this way that the Reverend Lawrence Veal of Hart
  • Street, Bloomsbury, and domestic Chaplain to the Earl of Bareacres,
  • strove with Mrs. Veal his wife to entice pupils.
  • By thus advertising and pushing sedulously, the domestic Chaplain and
  • his Lady generally succeeded in having one or two scholars by them--who
  • paid a high figure and were thought to be in uncommonly comfortable
  • quarters. There was a large West Indian, whom nobody came to see, with
  • a mahogany complexion, a woolly head, and an exceedingly dandyfied
  • appearance; there was another hulking boy of three-and-twenty whose
  • education had been neglected and whom Mr. and Mrs. Veal were to
  • introduce into the polite world; there were two sons of Colonel Bangles
  • of the East India Company's Service: these four sat down to dinner at
  • Mrs. Veal's genteel board, when Georgy was introduced to her
  • establishment.
  • Georgy was, like some dozen other pupils, only a day boy; he arrived in
  • the morning under the guardianship of his friend Mr. Rowson, and if it
  • was fine, would ride away in the afternoon on his pony, followed by the
  • groom. The wealth of his grandfather was reported in the school to be
  • prodigious. The Rev. Mr. Veal used to compliment Georgy upon it
  • personally, warning him that he was destined for a high station; that
  • it became him to prepare, by sedulity and docility in youth, for the
  • lofty duties to which he would be called in mature age; that obedience
  • in the child was the best preparation for command in the man; and that
  • he therefore begged George would not bring toffee into the school and
  • ruin the health of the Masters Bangles, who had everything they wanted
  • at the elegant and abundant table of Mrs. Veal.
  • With respect to learning, "the Curriculum," as Mr. Veal loved to call
  • it, was of prodigious extent, and the young gentlemen in Hart Street
  • might learn a something of every known science. The Rev. Mr. Veal had
  • an orrery, an electrifying machine, a turning lathe, a theatre (in the
  • wash-house), a chemical apparatus, and what he called a select library
  • of all the works of the best authors of ancient and modern times and
  • languages. He took the boys to the British Museum and descanted upon
  • the antiquities and the specimens of natural history there, so that
  • audiences would gather round him as he spoke, and all Bloomsbury highly
  • admired him as a prodigiously well-informed man. And whenever he spoke
  • (which he did almost always), he took care to produce the very finest
  • and longest words of which the vocabulary gave him the use, rightly
  • judging that it was as cheap to employ a handsome, large, and sonorous
  • epithet, as to use a little stingy one.
  • Thus he would say to George in school, "I observed on my return home
  • from taking the indulgence of an evening's scientific conversation with
  • my excellent friend Doctor Bulders--a true archaeologian, gentlemen, a
  • true archaeologian--that the windows of your venerated grandfather's
  • almost princely mansion in Russell Square were illuminated as if for
  • the purposes of festivity. Am I right in my conjecture that Mr.
  • Osborne entertained a society of chosen spirits round his sumptuous
  • board last night?"
  • Little Georgy, who had considerable humour, and used to mimic Mr. Veal
  • to his face with great spirit and dexterity, would reply that Mr. V.
  • was quite correct in his surmise.
  • "Then those friends who had the honour of partaking of Mr. Osborne's
  • hospitality, gentlemen, had no reason, I will lay any wager, to
  • complain of their repast. I myself have been more than once so
  • favoured. (By the way, Master Osborne, you came a little late this
  • morning, and have been a defaulter in this respect more than once.) I
  • myself, I say, gentlemen, humble as I am, have been found not unworthy
  • to share Mr. Osborne's elegant hospitality. And though I have feasted
  • with the great and noble of the world--for I presume that I may call my
  • excellent friend and patron, the Right Honourable George Earl of
  • Bareacres, one of the number--yet I assure you that the board of the
  • British merchant was to the full as richly served, and his reception as
  • gratifying and noble. Mr. Bluck, sir, we will resume, if you please,
  • that passage of Eutropis, which was interrupted by the late arrival of
  • Master Osborne."
  • To this great man George's education was for some time entrusted.
  • Amelia was bewildered by his phrases, but thought him a prodigy of
  • learning. That poor widow made friends of Mrs. Veal, for reasons of
  • her own. She liked to be in the house and see Georgy coming to school
  • there. She liked to be asked to Mrs. Veal's conversazioni, which took
  • place once a month (as you were informed on pink cards, with AOHNH
  • [_Transcriber's Note: The name of the Greek goddess Athene; the "O"
  • represents a capital theta._] engraved on them), and where the professor
  • welcomed his pupils and their friends to weak tea and scientific
  • conversation. Poor little Amelia never missed one of these
  • entertainments and thought them delicious so long as she might have
  • Georgy sitting by her. And she would walk from Brompton in any weather,
  • and embrace Mrs. Veal with tearful gratitude for the delightful evening
  • she had passed, when, the company having retired and Georgy gone off
  • with Mr. Rowson, his attendant, poor Mrs. Osborne put on her cloaks and
  • her shawls preparatory to walking home.
  • As for the learning which Georgy imbibed under this valuable master of
  • a hundred sciences, to judge from the weekly reports which the lad took
  • home to his grandfather, his progress was remarkable. The names of a
  • score or more of desirable branches of knowledge were printed in a
  • table, and the pupil's progress in each was marked by the professor.
  • In Greek Georgy was pronounced aristos, in Latin optimus, in French
  • tres bien, and so forth; and everybody had prizes for everything at the
  • end of the year. Even Mr. Swartz, the wooly-headed young gentleman,
  • and half-brother to the Honourable Mrs. Mac Mull, and Mr. Bluck, the
  • neglected young pupil of three-and-twenty from the agricultural
  • district, and that idle young scapegrace of a Master Todd before
  • mentioned, received little eighteen-penny books, with "Athene" engraved
  • on them, and a pompous Latin inscription from the professor to his
  • young friends.
  • The family of this Master Todd were hangers-on of the house of Osborne.
  • The old gentleman had advanced Todd from being a clerk to be a junior
  • partner in his establishment.
  • Mr. Osborne was the godfather of young Master Todd (who in subsequent
  • life wrote Mr. Osborne Todd on his cards and became a man of decided
  • fashion), while Miss Osborne had accompanied Miss Maria Todd to the
  • font, and gave her protegee a prayer-book, a collection of tracts, a
  • volume of very low church poetry, or some such memento of her goodness
  • every year. Miss O. drove the Todds out in her carriage now and then;
  • when they were ill, her footman, in large plush smalls and waistcoat,
  • brought jellies and delicacies from Russell Square to Coram Street.
  • Coram Street trembled and looked up to Russell Square indeed, and Mrs.
  • Todd, who had a pretty hand at cutting out paper trimmings for haunches
  • of mutton, and could make flowers, ducks, &c., out of turnips and
  • carrots in a very creditable manner, would go to "the Square," as it
  • was called, and assist in the preparations incident to a great dinner,
  • without even so much as thinking of sitting down to the banquet. If
  • any guest failed at the eleventh hour, Todd was asked to dine. Mrs.
  • Todd and Maria came across in the evening, slipped in with a muffled
  • knock, and were in the drawing-room by the time Miss Osborne and the
  • ladies under her convoy reached that apartment--and ready to fire off
  • duets and sing until the gentlemen came up. Poor Maria Todd; poor
  • young lady! How she had to work and thrum at these duets and sonatas
  • in the Street, before they appeared in public in the Square!
  • Thus it seemed to be decreed by fate that Georgy was to domineer over
  • everybody with whom he came in contact, and that friends, relatives,
  • and domestics were all to bow the knee before the little fellow. It
  • must be owned that he accommodated himself very willingly to this
  • arrangement. Most people do so. And Georgy liked to play the part of
  • master and perhaps had a natural aptitude for it.
  • In Russell Square everybody was afraid of Mr. Osborne, and Mr. Osborne
  • was afraid of Georgy. The boy's dashing manners, and offhand rattle
  • about books and learning, his likeness to his father (dead unreconciled
  • in Brussels yonder) awed the old gentleman and gave the young boy the
  • mastery. The old man would start at some hereditary feature or tone
  • unconsciously used by the little lad, and fancy that George's father
  • was again before him. He tried by indulgence to the grandson to make
  • up for harshness to the elder George. People were surprised at his
  • gentleness to the boy. He growled and swore at Miss Osborne as usual,
  • and would smile when George came down late for breakfast.
  • Miss Osborne, George's aunt, was a faded old spinster, broken down by
  • more than forty years of dulness and coarse usage. It was easy for a
  • lad of spirit to master her. And whenever George wanted anything from
  • her, from the jam-pots in her cupboards to the cracked and dry old
  • colours in her paint-box (the old paint-box which she had had when she
  • was a pupil of Mr. Smee and was still almost young and blooming),
  • Georgy took possession of the object of his desire, which obtained, he
  • took no further notice of his aunt.
  • For his friends and cronies, he had a pompous old schoolmaster, who
  • flattered him, and a toady, his senior, whom he could thrash. It was
  • dear Mrs. Todd's delight to leave him with her youngest daughter, Rosa
  • Jemima, a darling child of eight years old. The little pair looked so
  • well together, she would say (but not to the folks in "the Square," we
  • may be sure) "who knows what might happen? Don't they make a pretty
  • little couple?" the fond mother thought.
  • The broken-spirited, old, maternal grandfather was likewise subject to
  • the little tyrant. He could not help respecting a lad who had such
  • fine clothes and rode with a groom behind him. Georgy, on his side,
  • was in the constant habit of hearing coarse abuse and vulgar satire
  • levelled at John Sedley by his pitiless old enemy, Mr. Osborne.
  • Osborne used to call the other the old pauper, the old coal-man, the
  • old bankrupt, and by many other such names of brutal contumely. How
  • was little George to respect a man so prostrate? A few months after he
  • was with his paternal grandfather, Mrs. Sedley died. There had been
  • little love between her and the child. He did not care to show much
  • grief. He came down to visit his mother in a fine new suit of
  • mourning, and was very angry that he could not go to a play upon which
  • he had set his heart.
  • The illness of that old lady had been the occupation and perhaps the
  • safeguard of Amelia. What do men know about women's martyrdoms? We
  • should go mad had we to endure the hundredth part of those daily pains
  • which are meekly borne by many women. Ceaseless slavery meeting with
  • no reward; constant gentleness and kindness met by cruelty as constant;
  • love, labour, patience, watchfulness, without even so much as the
  • acknowledgement of a good word; all this, how many of them have to bear
  • in quiet, and appear abroad with cheerful faces as if they felt
  • nothing. Tender slaves that they are, they must needs be hypocrites
  • and weak.
  • From her chair Amelia's mother had taken to her bed, which she had
  • never left, and from which Mrs. Osborne herself was never absent except
  • when she ran to see George. The old lady grudged her even those rare
  • visits; she, who had been a kind, smiling, good-natured mother once, in
  • the days of her prosperity, but whom poverty and infirmities had broken
  • down. Her illness or estrangement did not affect Amelia. They rather
  • enabled her to support the other calamity under which she was
  • suffering, and from the thoughts of which she was kept by the ceaseless
  • calls of the invalid. Amelia bore her harshness quite gently; smoothed
  • the uneasy pillow; was always ready with a soft answer to the watchful,
  • querulous voice; soothed the sufferer with words of hope, such as her
  • pious simple heart could best feel and utter, and closed the eyes that
  • had once looked so tenderly upon her.
  • Then all her time and tenderness were devoted to the consolation and
  • comfort of the bereaved old father, who was stunned by the blow which
  • had befallen him, and stood utterly alone in the world. His wife, his
  • honour, his fortune, everything he loved best had fallen away from him.
  • There was only Amelia to stand by and support with her gentle arms the
  • tottering, heart-broken old man. We are not going to write the history:
  • it would be too dreary and stupid. I can see Vanity Fair yawning over
  • it d'avance.
  • One day as the young gentlemen were assembled in the study at the Rev.
  • Mr. Veal's, and the domestic chaplain to the Right Honourable the Earl
  • of Bareacres was spouting away as usual, a smart carriage drove up to
  • the door decorated with the statue of Athene, and two gentlemen stepped
  • out. The young Masters Bangles rushed to the window with a vague
  • notion that their father might have arrived from Bombay. The great
  • hulking scholar of three-and-twenty, who was crying secretly over a
  • passage of Eutropius, flattened his neglected nose against the panes
  • and looked at the drag, as the laquais de place sprang from the box and
  • let out the persons in the carriage.
  • "It's a fat one and a thin one," Mr. Bluck said as a thundering knock
  • came to the door.
  • Everybody was interested, from the domestic chaplain himself, who hoped
  • he saw the fathers of some future pupils, down to Master Georgy, glad
  • of any pretext for laying his book down.
  • The boy in the shabby livery with the faded copper buttons, who always
  • thrust himself into the tight coat to open the door, came into the
  • study and said, "Two gentlemen want to see Master Osborne." The
  • professor had had a trifling altercation in the morning with that young
  • gentleman, owing to a difference about the introduction of crackers in
  • school-time; but his face resumed its habitual expression of bland
  • courtesy as he said, "Master Osborne, I give you full permission to go
  • and see your carriage friends--to whom I beg you to convey the
  • respectful compliments of myself and Mrs. Veal."
  • Georgy went into the reception-room and saw two strangers, whom he
  • looked at with his head up, in his usual haughty manner. One was fat,
  • with mustachios, and the other was lean and long, in a blue frock-coat,
  • with a brown face and a grizzled head.
  • "My God, how like he is!" said the long gentleman with a start. "Can
  • you guess who we are, George?"
  • The boy's face flushed up, as it did usually when he was moved, and his
  • eyes brightened. "I don't know the other," he said, "but I should
  • think you must be Major Dobbin."
  • Indeed it was our old friend. His voice trembled with pleasure as he
  • greeted the boy, and taking both the other's hands in his own, drew the
  • lad to him.
  • "Your mother has talked to you about me--has she?" he said.
  • "That she has," Georgy answered, "hundreds and hundreds of times."
  • CHAPTER LVII
  • Eothen
  • It was one of the many causes for personal pride with which old Osborne
  • chose to recreate himself that Sedley, his ancient rival, enemy, and
  • benefactor, was in his last days so utterly defeated and humiliated as
  • to be forced to accept pecuniary obligations at the hands of the man
  • who had most injured and insulted him. The successful man of the world
  • cursed the old pauper and relieved him from time to time. As he
  • furnished George with money for his mother, he gave the boy to
  • understand by hints, delivered in his brutal, coarse way, that George's
  • maternal grandfather was but a wretched old bankrupt and dependant, and
  • that John Sedley might thank the man to whom he already owed ever so
  • much money for the aid which his generosity now chose to administer.
  • George carried the pompous supplies to his mother and the shattered old
  • widower whom it was now the main business of her life to tend and
  • comfort. The little fellow patronized the feeble and disappointed old
  • man.
  • It may have shown a want of "proper pride" in Amelia that she chose to
  • accept these money benefits at the hands of her father's enemy. But
  • proper pride and this poor lady had never had much acquaintance
  • together. A disposition naturally simple and demanding protection; a
  • long course of poverty and humility, of daily privations, and hard
  • words, of kind offices and no returns, had been her lot ever since
  • womanhood almost, or since her luckless marriage with George Osborne.
  • You who see your betters bearing up under this shame every day, meekly
  • suffering under the slights of fortune, gentle and unpitied, poor, and
  • rather despised for their poverty, do you ever step down from your
  • prosperity and wash the feet of these poor wearied beggars? The very
  • thought of them is odious and low. "There must be classes--there must
  • be rich and poor," Dives says, smacking his claret (it is well if he
  • even sends the broken meat out to Lazarus sitting under the window).
  • Very true; but think how mysterious and often unaccountable it is--that
  • lottery of life which gives to this man the purple and fine linen and
  • sends to the other rags for garments and dogs for comforters.
  • So I must own that, without much repining, on the contrary with
  • something akin to gratitude, Amelia took the crumbs that her father-in-law
  • let drop now and then, and with them fed her own parent.
  • Directly she understood it to be her duty, it was this young woman's
  • nature (ladies, she is but thirty still, and we choose to call her a
  • young woman even at that age) it was, I say, her nature to sacrifice
  • herself and to fling all that she had at the feet of the beloved
  • object. During what long thankless nights had she worked out her
  • fingers for little Georgy whilst at home with her; what buffets,
  • scorns, privations, poverties had she endured for father and mother!
  • And in the midst of all these solitary resignations and unseen
  • sacrifices, she did not respect herself any more than the world
  • respected her, but I believe thought in her heart that she was a
  • poor-spirited, despicable little creature, whose luck in life was only
  • too good for her merits. O you poor women! O you poor secret martyrs
  • and victims, whose life is a torture, who are stretched on racks in
  • your bedrooms, and who lay your heads down on the block daily at the
  • drawing-room table; every man who watches your pains, or peers into
  • those dark places where the torture is administered to you, must pity
  • you--and--and thank God that he has a beard. I recollect seeing, years
  • ago, at the prisons for idiots and madmen at Bicetre, near Paris, a
  • poor wretch bent down under the bondage of his imprisonment and his
  • personal infirmity, to whom one of our party gave a halfpenny worth of
  • snuff in a cornet or "screw" of paper. The kindness was too much for
  • the poor epileptic creature. He cried in an anguish of delight and
  • gratitude: if anybody gave you and me a thousand a year, or saved our
  • lives, we could not be so affected. And so, if you properly tyrannize
  • over a woman, you will find a ha'p'orth of kindness act upon her and
  • bring tears into her eyes, as though you were an angel benefiting her.
  • Some such boons as these were the best which Fortune allotted to poor
  • little Amelia. Her life, begun not unprosperously, had come down to
  • this--to a mean prison and a long, ignoble bondage. Little George
  • visited her captivity sometimes and consoled it with feeble gleams of
  • encouragement. Russell Square was the boundary of her prison: she
  • might walk thither occasionally, but was always back to sleep in her
  • cell at night; to perform cheerless duties; to watch by thankless
  • sick-beds; to suffer the harassment and tyranny of querulous
  • disappointed old age. How many thousands of people are there, women
  • for the most part, who are doomed to endure this long slavery?--who are
  • hospital nurses without wages--sisters of Charity, if you like, without
  • the romance and the sentiment of sacrifice--who strive, fast, watch,
  • and suffer, unpitied, and fade away ignobly and unknown.
  • The hidden and awful Wisdom which apportions the destinies of mankind
  • is pleased so to humiliate and cast down the tender, good, and wise,
  • and to set up the selfish, the foolish, or the wicked. Oh, be humble,
  • my brother, in your prosperity! Be gentle with those who are less
  • lucky, if not more deserving. Think, what right have you to be
  • scornful, whose virtue is a deficiency of temptation, whose success may
  • be a chance, whose rank may be an ancestor's accident, whose prosperity
  • is very likely a satire.
  • They buried Amelia's mother in the churchyard at Brompton, upon just
  • such a rainy, dark day as Amelia recollected when first she had been
  • there to marry George. Her little boy sat by her side in pompous new
  • sables. She remembered the old pew-woman and clerk. Her thoughts were
  • away in other times as the parson read. But that she held George's hand
  • in her own, perhaps she would have liked to change places with....
  • Then, as usual, she felt ashamed of her selfish thoughts and prayed
  • inwardly to be strengthened to do her duty.
  • So she determined with all her might and strength to try and make her
  • old father happy. She slaved, toiled, patched, and mended, sang and
  • played backgammon, read out the newspaper, cooked dishes for old
  • Sedley, walked him out sedulously into Kensington Gardens or the
  • Brompton Lanes, listened to his stories with untiring smiles and
  • affectionate hypocrisy, or sat musing by his side and communing with
  • her own thoughts and reminiscences, as the old man, feeble and
  • querulous, sunned himself on the garden benches and prattled about his
  • wrongs or his sorrows. What sad, unsatisfactory thoughts those of the
  • widow were! The children running up and down the slopes and broad
  • paths in the gardens reminded her of George, who was taken from her;
  • the first George was taken from her; her selfish, guilty love, in both
  • instances, had been rebuked and bitterly chastised. She strove to think
  • it was right that she should be so punished. She was such a miserable
  • wicked sinner. She was quite alone in the world.
  • I know that the account of this kind of solitary imprisonment is
  • insufferably tedious, unless there is some cheerful or humorous
  • incident to enliven it--a tender gaoler, for instance, or a waggish
  • commandant of the fortress, or a mouse to come out and play about
  • Latude's beard and whiskers, or a subterranean passage under the
  • castle, dug by Trenck with his nails and a toothpick: the historian
  • has no such enlivening incident to relate in the narrative of Amelia's
  • captivity. Fancy her, if you please, during this period, very sad, but
  • always ready to smile when spoken to; in a very mean, poor, not to say
  • vulgar position of life; singing songs, making puddings, playing cards,
  • mending stockings, for her old father's benefit. So, never mind,
  • whether she be a heroine or no; or you and I, however old, scolding,
  • and bankrupt--may we have in our last days a kind soft shoulder on
  • which to lean and a gentle hand to soothe our gouty old pillows.
  • Old Sedley grew very fond of his daughter after his wife's death, and
  • Amelia had her consolation in doing her duty by the old man.
  • But we are not going to leave these two people long in such a low and
  • ungenteel station of life. Better days, as far as worldly prosperity
  • went, were in store for both. Perhaps the ingenious reader has guessed
  • who was the stout gentleman who called upon Georgy at his school in
  • company with our old friend Major Dobbin. It was another old
  • acquaintance returned to England, and at a time when his presence was
  • likely to be of great comfort to his relatives there.
  • Major Dobbin having easily succeeded in getting leave from his
  • good-natured commandant to proceed to Madras, and thence probably to
  • Europe, on urgent private affairs, never ceased travelling night and day
  • until he reached his journey's end, and had directed his march with such
  • celerity that he arrived at Madras in a high fever. His servants who
  • accompanied him brought him to the house of the friend with whom he had
  • resolved to stay until his departure for Europe in a state of delirium;
  • and it was thought for many, many days that he would never travel
  • farther than the burying-ground of the church of St. George's, where
  • the troops should fire a salvo over his grave, and where many a gallant
  • officer lies far away from his home.
  • Here, as the poor fellow lay tossing in his fever, the people who
  • watched him might have heard him raving about Amelia. The idea that he
  • should never see her again depressed him in his lucid hours. He
  • thought his last day was come, and he made his solemn preparations for
  • departure, setting his affairs in this world in order and leaving the
  • little property of which he was possessed to those whom he most desired
  • to benefit. The friend in whose house he was located witnessed his
  • testament. He desired to be buried with a little brown hair-chain
  • which he wore round his neck and which, if the truth must be known, he
  • had got from Amelia's maid at Brussels, when the young widow's hair was
  • cut off, during the fever which prostrated her after the death of
  • George Osborne on the plateau at Mount St. John.
  • He recovered, rallied, relapsed again, having undergone such a process
  • of blood-letting and calomel as showed the strength of his original
  • constitution. He was almost a skeleton when they put him on board the
  • Ramchunder East Indiaman, Captain Bragg, from Calcutta, touching at
  • Madras, and so weak and prostrate that his friend who had tended him
  • through his illness prophesied that the honest Major would never
  • survive the voyage, and that he would pass some morning, shrouded in
  • flag and hammock, over the ship's side, and carrying down to the sea
  • with him the relic that he wore at his heart. But whether it was the
  • sea air, or the hope which sprung up in him afresh, from the day that
  • the ship spread her canvas and stood out of the roads towards home, our
  • friend began to amend, and he was quite well (though as gaunt as a
  • greyhound) before they reached the Cape. "Kirk will be disappointed of
  • his majority this time," he said with a smile; "he will expect to find
  • himself gazetted by the time the regiment reaches home." For it must be
  • premised that while the Major was lying ill at Madras, having made such
  • prodigious haste to go thither, the gallant --th, which had passed many
  • years abroad, which after its return from the West Indies had been
  • baulked of its stay at home by the Waterloo campaign, and had been
  • ordered from Flanders to India, had received orders home; and the Major
  • might have accompanied his comrades, had he chosen to wait for their
  • arrival at Madras.
  • Perhaps he was not inclined to put himself in his exhausted state again
  • under the guardianship of Glorvina. "I think Miss O'Dowd would have
  • done for me," he said laughingly to a fellow-passenger, "if we had had
  • her on board, and when she had sunk me, she would have fallen upon you,
  • depend upon it, and carried you in as a prize to Southampton, Jos, my
  • boy."
  • For indeed it was no other than our stout friend who was also a
  • passenger on board the Ramchunder. He had passed ten years in Bengal.
  • Constant dinners, tiffins, pale ale and claret, the prodigious labour
  • of cutcherry, and the refreshment of brandy-pawnee which he was forced
  • to take there, had their effect upon Waterloo Sedley. A voyage to
  • Europe was pronounced necessary for him--and having served his full
  • time in India and had fine appointments which had enabled him to lay by
  • a considerable sum of money, he was free to come home and stay with a
  • good pension, or to return and resume that rank in the service to which
  • his seniority and his vast talents entitled him.
  • He was rather thinner than when we last saw him, but had gained in
  • majesty and solemnity of demeanour. He had resumed the mustachios to
  • which his services at Waterloo entitled him, and swaggered about on
  • deck in a magnificent velvet cap with a gold band and a profuse
  • ornamentation of pins and jewellery about his person. He took breakfast
  • in his cabin and dressed as solemnly to appear on the quarter-deck as
  • if he were going to turn out for Bond Street, or the Course at
  • Calcutta. He brought a native servant with him, who was his valet and
  • pipe-bearer and who wore the Sedley crest in silver on his turban.
  • That oriental menial had a wretched life under the tyranny of Jos
  • Sedley. Jos was as vain of his person as a woman, and took as long a
  • time at his toilette as any fading beauty. The youngsters among the
  • passengers, Young Chaffers of the 150th, and poor little Ricketts,
  • coming home after his third fever, used to draw out Sedley at the
  • cuddy-table and make him tell prodigious stories about himself and his
  • exploits against tigers and Napoleon. He was great when he visited the
  • Emperor's tomb at Longwood, when to these gentlemen and the young
  • officers of the ship, Major Dobbin not being by, he described the whole
  • battle of Waterloo and all but announced that Napoleon never would have
  • gone to Saint Helena at all but for him, Jos Sedley.
  • After leaving St. Helena he became very generous, disposing of a great
  • quantity of ship stores, claret, preserved meats, and great casks
  • packed with soda-water, brought out for his private delectation. There
  • were no ladies on board; the Major gave the pas of precedency to the
  • civilian, so that he was the first dignitary at table, and treated by
  • Captain Bragg and the officers of the Ramchunder with the respect which
  • his rank warranted. He disappeared rather in a panic during a
  • two-days' gale, in which he had the portholes of his cabin battened
  • down, and remained in his cot reading the Washerwoman of Finchley
  • Common, left on board the Ramchunder by the Right Honourable the Lady
  • Emily Hornblower, wife of the Rev. Silas Hornblower, when on their
  • passage out to the Cape, where the Reverend gentleman was a missionary;
  • but, for common reading, he had brought a stock of novels and plays
  • which he lent to the rest of the ship, and rendered himself agreeable
  • to all by his kindness and condescension.
  • Many and many a night as the ship was cutting through the roaring dark
  • sea, the moon and stars shining overhead and the bell singing out the
  • watch, Mr. Sedley and the Major would sit on the quarter-deck of the
  • vessel talking about home, as the Major smoked his cheroot and the
  • civilian puffed at the hookah which his servant prepared for him.
  • In these conversations it was wonderful with what perseverance and
  • ingenuity Major Dobbin would manage to bring the talk round to the
  • subject of Amelia and her little boy. Jos, a little testy about his
  • father's misfortunes and unceremonious applications to him, was soothed
  • down by the Major, who pointed out the elder's ill fortunes and old
  • age. He would not perhaps like to live with the old couple, whose ways
  • and hours might not agree with those of a younger man, accustomed to
  • different society (Jos bowed at this compliment); but, the Major
  • pointed out, how advantageous it would be for Jos Sedley to have a
  • house of his own in London, and not a mere bachelor's establishment as
  • before; how his sister Amelia would be the very person to preside over
  • it; how elegant, how gentle she was, and of what refined good manners.
  • He recounted stories of the success which Mrs. George Osborne had had
  • in former days at Brussels, and in London, where she was much admired
  • by people of very great fashion; and he then hinted how becoming it
  • would be for Jos to send Georgy to a good school and make a man of him,
  • for his mother and her parents would be sure to spoil him. In a word,
  • this artful Major made the civilian promise to take charge of Amelia
  • and her unprotected child. He did not know as yet what events had
  • happened in the little Sedley family, and how death had removed the
  • mother, and riches had carried off George from Amelia. But the fact is
  • that every day and always, this love-smitten and middle-aged gentleman
  • was thinking about Mrs. Osborne, and his whole heart was bent upon
  • doing her good. He coaxed, wheedled, cajoled, and complimented Jos
  • Sedley with a perseverance and cordiality of which he was not aware
  • himself, very likely; but some men who have unmarried sisters or
  • daughters even, may remember how uncommonly agreeable gentlemen are to
  • the male relations when they are courting the females; and perhaps this
  • rogue of a Dobbin was urged by a similar hypocrisy.
  • The truth is, when Major Dobbin came on board the Ramchumder, very
  • sick, and for the three days she lay in the Madras Roads, he did not
  • begin to rally, nor did even the appearance and recognition of his old
  • acquaintance, Mr. Sedley, on board much cheer him, until after a
  • conversation which they had one day, as the Major was laid languidly on
  • the deck. He said then he thought he was doomed; he had left a little
  • something to his godson in his will, and he trusted Mrs. Osborne would
  • remember him kindly and be happy in the marriage she was about to make.
  • "Married? not the least," Jos answered; "he had heard from her: she
  • made no mention of the marriage, and by the way, it was curious, she
  • wrote to say that Major Dobbin was going to be married, and hoped that
  • HE would be happy." What were the dates of Sedley's letters from
  • Europe? The civilian fetched them. They were two months later than the
  • Major's; and the ship's surgeon congratulated himself upon the
  • treatment adopted by him towards his new patient, who had been
  • consigned to shipboard by the Madras practitioner with very small hopes
  • indeed; for, from that day, the very day that he changed the draught,
  • Major Dobbin began to mend. And thus it was that deserving officer,
  • Captain Kirk, was disappointed of his majority.
  • After they passed St. Helena, Major Dobbin's gaiety and strength was
  • such as to astonish all his fellow passengers. He larked with the
  • midshipmen, played single-stick with the mates, ran up the shrouds like
  • a boy, sang a comic song one night to the amusement of the whole party
  • assembled over their grog after supper, and rendered himself so gay,
  • lively, and amiable that even Captain Bragg, who thought there was
  • nothing in his passenger, and considered he was a poor-spirited feller
  • at first, was constrained to own that the Major was a reserved but
  • well-informed and meritorious officer. "He ain't got distangy manners,
  • dammy," Bragg observed to his first mate; "he wouldn't do at Government
  • House, Roper, where his Lordship and Lady William was as kind to me,
  • and shook hands with me before the whole company, and asking me at
  • dinner to take beer with him, before the Commander-in-Chief himself; he
  • ain't got manners, but there's something about him--" And thus Captain
  • Bragg showed that he possessed discrimination as a man, as well as
  • ability as a commander.
  • But a calm taking place when the Ramchunder was within ten days' sail
  • of England, Dobbin became so impatient and ill-humoured as to surprise
  • those comrades who had before admired his vivacity and good temper. He
  • did not recover until the breeze sprang up again, and was in a highly
  • excited state when the pilot came on board. Good God, how his heart
  • beat as the two friendly spires of Southampton came in sight.
  • CHAPTER LVIII
  • Our Friend the Major
  • Our Major had rendered himself so popular on board the Ramchunder that
  • when he and Mr. Sedley descended into the welcome shore-boat which was
  • to take them from the ship, the whole crew, men and officers, the great
  • Captain Bragg himself leading off, gave three cheers for Major Dobbin,
  • who blushed very much and ducked his head in token of thanks. Jos, who
  • very likely thought the cheers were for himself, took off his
  • gold-laced cap and waved it majestically to his friends, and they were
  • pulled to shore and landed with great dignity at the pier, whence they
  • proceeded to the Royal George Hotel.
  • Although the sight of that magnificent round of beef, and the silver
  • tankard suggestive of real British home-brewed ale and porter, which
  • perennially greet the eyes of the traveller returning from foreign
  • parts who enters the coffee-room of the George, are so invigorating and
  • delightful that a man entering such a comfortable snug homely English
  • inn might well like to stop some days there, yet Dobbin began to talk
  • about a post-chaise instantly, and was no sooner at Southampton than he
  • wished to be on the road to London. Jos, however, would not hear of
  • moving that evening. Why was he to pass a night in a post-chaise
  • instead of a great large undulating downy feather-bed which was there
  • ready to replace the horrid little narrow crib in which the portly
  • Bengal gentleman had been confined during the voyage? He could not
  • think of moving till his baggage was cleared, or of travelling until he
  • could do so with his chillum. So the Major was forced to wait over
  • that night, and dispatched a letter to his family announcing his
  • arrival, entreating from Jos a promise to write to his own friends.
  • Jos promised, but didn't keep his promise. The Captain, the surgeon,
  • and one or two passengers came and dined with our two gentlemen at the
  • inn, Jos exerting himself in a sumptuous way in ordering the dinner and
  • promising to go to town the next day with the Major. The landlord said
  • it did his eyes good to see Mr. Sedley take off his first pint of
  • porter. If I had time and dared to enter into digressions, I would
  • write a chapter about that first pint of porter drunk upon English
  • ground. Ah, how good it is! It is worth-while to leave home for a
  • year, just to enjoy that one draught.
  • Major Dobbin made his appearance the next morning very neatly shaved
  • and dressed, according to his wont. Indeed, it was so early in the
  • morning that nobody was up in the house except that wonderful Boots of
  • an inn who never seems to want sleep; and the Major could hear the
  • snores of the various inmates of the house roaring through the
  • corridors as he creaked about in those dim passages. Then the
  • sleepless Boots went shirking round from door to door, gathering up at
  • each the Bluchers, Wellingtons, Oxonians, which stood outside. Then
  • Jos's native servant arose and began to get ready his master's
  • ponderous dressing apparatus and prepare his hookah; then the
  • maidservants got up, and meeting the dark man in the passages,
  • shrieked, and mistook him for the devil. He and Dobbin stumbled over
  • their pails in the passages as they were scouring the decks of the
  • Royal George. When the first unshorn waiter appeared and unbarred the
  • door of the inn, the Major thought that the time for departure was
  • arrived, and ordered a post-chaise to be fetched instantly, that they
  • might set off.
  • He then directed his steps to Mr. Sedley's room and opened the curtains
  • of the great large family bed wherein Mr. Jos was snoring. "Come, up!
  • Sedley," the Major said, "it's time to be off; the chaise will be at
  • the door in half an hour."
  • Jos growled from under the counterpane to know what the time was; but
  • when he at last extorted from the blushing Major (who never told fibs,
  • however they might be to his advantage) what was the real hour of the
  • morning, he broke out into a volley of bad language, which we will not
  • repeat here, but by which he gave Dobbin to understand that he would
  • jeopardy his soul if he got up at that moment, that the Major might go
  • and be hanged, that he would not travel with Dobbin, and that it was
  • most unkind and ungentlemanlike to disturb a man out of his sleep in
  • that way; on which the discomfited Major was obliged to retreat,
  • leaving Jos to resume his interrupted slumbers.
  • The chaise came up presently, and the Major would wait no longer.
  • If he had been an English nobleman travelling on a pleasure tour, or a
  • newspaper courier bearing dispatches (government messages are generally
  • carried much more quietly), he could not have travelled more quickly.
  • The post-boys wondered at the fees he flung amongst them. How happy and
  • green the country looked as the chaise whirled rapidly from mile-stone
  • to mile-stone, through neat country towns where landlords came out to
  • welcome him with smiles and bows; by pretty roadside inns, where the
  • signs hung on the elms, and horses and waggoners were drinking under
  • the chequered shadow of the trees; by old halls and parks; rustic
  • hamlets clustered round ancient grey churches--and through the charming
  • friendly English landscape. Is there any in the world like it? To a
  • traveller returning home it looks so kind--it seems to shake hands with
  • you as you pass through it. Well, Major Dobbin passed through all this
  • from Southampton to London, and without noting much beyond the
  • milestones along the road. You see he was so eager to see his parents
  • at Camberwell.
  • He grudged the time lost between Piccadilly and his old haunt at the
  • Slaughters', whither he drove faithfully. Long years had passed since
  • he saw it last, since he and George, as young men, had enjoyed many a
  • feast, and held many a revel there. He had now passed into the stage
  • of old-fellow-hood. His hair was grizzled, and many a passion and
  • feeling of his youth had grown grey in that interval. There, however,
  • stood the old waiter at the door, in the same greasy black suit, with
  • the same double chin and flaccid face, with the same huge bunch of
  • seals at his fob, rattling his money in his pockets as before, and
  • receiving the Major as if he had gone away only a week ago. "Put the
  • Major's things in twenty-three, that's his room," John said, exhibiting
  • not the least surprise. "Roast fowl for your dinner, I suppose. You
  • ain't got married? They said you was married--the Scotch surgeon of
  • yours was here. No, it was Captain Humby of the thirty-third, as was
  • quartered with the --th in Injee. Like any warm water? What do you come
  • in a chay for--ain't the coach good enough?" And with this, the
  • faithful waiter, who knew and remembered every officer who used the
  • house, and with whom ten years were but as yesterday, led the way up to
  • Dobbin's old room, where stood the great moreen bed, and the shabby
  • carpet, a thought more dingy, and all the old black furniture covered
  • with faded chintz, just as the Major recollected them in his youth.
  • He remembered George pacing up and down the room, and biting his nails,
  • and swearing that the Governor must come round, and that if he didn't,
  • he didn't care a straw, on the day before he was married. He could
  • fancy him walking in, banging the door of Dobbin's room, and his own
  • hard by--
  • "You ain't got young," John said, calmly surveying his friend of former
  • days.
  • Dobbin laughed. "Ten years and a fever don't make a man young, John,"
  • he said. "It is you that are always young--no, you are always old."
  • "What became of Captain Osborne's widow?" John said. "Fine young
  • fellow that. Lord, how he used to spend his money. He never came back
  • after that day he was marched from here. He owes me three pound at
  • this minute. Look here, I have it in my book. 'April 10, 1815,
  • Captain Osborne: 3 pounds.' I wonder whether his father would pay
  • me," and so saying, John of the Slaughters' pulled out the very morocco
  • pocket-book in which he had noted his loan to the Captain, upon a
  • greasy faded page still extant, with many other scrawled memoranda
  • regarding the bygone frequenters of the house.
  • Having inducted his customer into the room, John retired with perfect
  • calmness; and Major Dobbin, not without a blush and a grin at his own
  • absurdity, chose out of his kit the very smartest and most becoming
  • civil costume he possessed, and laughed at his own tanned face and grey
  • hair, as he surveyed them in the dreary little toilet-glass on the
  • dressing-table.
  • "I'm glad old John didn't forget me," he thought. "She'll know me, too,
  • I hope." And he sallied out of the inn, bending his steps once more in
  • the direction of Brompton.
  • Every minute incident of his last meeting with Amelia was present to
  • the constant man's mind as he walked towards her house. The arch and
  • the Achilles statue were up since he had last been in Piccadilly; a
  • hundred changes had occurred which his eye and mind vaguely noted. He
  • began to tremble as he walked up the lane from Brompton, that
  • well-remembered lane leading to the street where she lived. Was she
  • going to be married or not? If he were to meet her with the little
  • boy--Good God, what should he do? He saw a woman coming to him with a
  • child of five years old--was that she? He began to shake at the mere
  • possibility. When he came up to the row of houses, at last, where she
  • lived, and to the gate, he caught hold of it and paused. He might have
  • heard the thumping of his own heart. "May God Almighty bless her,
  • whatever has happened," he thought to himself. "Psha! she may be gone
  • from here," he said and went in through the gate.
  • The window of the parlour which she used to occupy was open, and there
  • were no inmates in the room. The Major thought he recognized the
  • piano, though, with the picture over it, as it used to be in former
  • days, and his perturbations were renewed. Mr. Clapp's brass plate was
  • still on the door, at the knocker of which Dobbin performed a summons.
  • A buxom-looking lass of sixteen, with bright eyes and purple cheeks,
  • came to answer the knock and looked hard at the Major as he leant back
  • against the little porch.
  • He was as pale as a ghost and could hardly falter out the words--"Does
  • Mrs. Osborne live here?"
  • She looked him hard in the face for a moment--and then turning white
  • too--said, "Lord bless me--it's Major Dobbin." She held out both her
  • hands shaking--"Don't you remember me?" she said. "I used to call you
  • Major Sugarplums." On which, and I believe it was for the first time
  • that he ever so conducted himself in his life, the Major took the girl
  • in his arms and kissed her. She began to laugh and cry hysterically,
  • and calling out "Ma, Pa!" with all her voice, brought up those worthy
  • people, who had already been surveying the Major from the casement of
  • the ornamental kitchen, and were astonished to find their daughter in
  • the little passage in the embrace of a great tall man in a blue
  • frock-coat and white duck trousers.
  • "I'm an old friend," he said--not without blushing though. "Don't you
  • remember me, Mrs. Clapp, and those good cakes you used to make for tea?
  • Don't you recollect me, Clapp? I'm George's godfather, and just come
  • back from India." A great shaking of hands ensued--Mrs. Clapp was
  • greatly affected and delighted; she called upon heaven to interpose a
  • vast many times in that passage.
  • The landlord and landlady of the house led the worthy Major into the
  • Sedleys' room (whereof he remembered every single article of furniture,
  • from the old brass ornamented piano, once a natty little instrument,
  • Stothard maker, to the screens and the alabaster miniature tombstone,
  • in the midst of which ticked Mr. Sedley's gold watch), and there, as he
  • sat down in the lodger's vacant arm-chair, the father, the mother, and
  • the daughter, with a thousand ejaculatory breaks in the narrative,
  • informed Major Dobbin of what we know already, but of particulars in
  • Amelia's history of which he was not aware--namely of Mrs. Sedley's
  • death, of George's reconcilement with his grandfather Osborne, of the
  • way in which the widow took on at leaving him, and of other particulars
  • of her life. Twice or thrice he was going to ask about the marriage
  • question, but his heart failed him. He did not care to lay it bare to
  • these people. Finally, he was informed that Mrs. O. was gone to walk
  • with her pa in Kensington Gardens, whither she always went with the old
  • gentleman (who was very weak and peevish now, and led her a sad life,
  • though she behaved to him like an angel, to be sure), of a fine
  • afternoon, after dinner.
  • "I'm very much pressed for time," the Major said, "and have business
  • to-night of importance. I should like to see Mrs. Osborne tho'.
  • Suppose Miss Polly would come with me and show me the way?"
  • Miss Polly was charmed and astonished at this proposal. She knew the
  • way. She would show Major Dobbin. She had often been with Mr. Sedley
  • when Mrs. O. was gone--was gone Russell Square way--and knew the bench
  • where he liked to sit. She bounced away to her apartment and appeared
  • presently in her best bonnet and her mamma's yellow shawl and large
  • pebble brooch, of which she assumed the loan in order to make herself a
  • worthy companion for the Major.
  • That officer, then, in his blue frock-coat and buckskin gloves, gave
  • the young lady his arm, and they walked away very gaily. He was glad
  • to have a friend at hand for the scene which he dreaded somehow. He
  • asked a thousand more questions from his companion about Amelia: his
  • kind heart grieved to think that she should have had to part with her
  • son. How did she bear it? Did she see him often? Was Mr. Sedley pretty
  • comfortable now in a worldly point of view? Polly answered all these
  • questions of Major Sugarplums to the very best of her power.
  • And in the midst of their walk an incident occurred which, though very
  • simple in its nature, was productive of the greatest delight to Major
  • Dobbin. A pale young man with feeble whiskers and a stiff white
  • neckcloth came walking down the lane, en sandwich--having a lady, that
  • is, on each arm. One was a tall and commanding middle-aged female,
  • with features and a complexion similar to those of the clergyman of the
  • Church of England by whose side she marched, and the other a stunted
  • little woman with a dark face, ornamented by a fine new bonnet and
  • white ribbons, and in a smart pelisse, with a rich gold watch in the
  • midst of her person. The gentleman, pinioned as he was by these two
  • ladies, carried further a parasol, shawl, and basket, so that his arms
  • were entirely engaged, and of course he was unable to touch his hat in
  • acknowledgement of the curtsey with which Miss Mary Clapp greeted him.
  • He merely bowed his head in reply to her salutation, which the two
  • ladies returned with a patronizing air, and at the same time looking
  • severely at the individual in the blue coat and bamboo cane who
  • accompanied Miss Polly.
  • "Who's that?" asked the Major, amused by the group, and after he had
  • made way for the three to pass up the lane. Mary looked at him rather
  • roguishly.
  • "That is our curate, the Reverend Mr. Binny (a twitch from Major
  • Dobbin), and his sister Miss B. Lord bless us, how she did use to
  • worret us at Sunday-school; and the other lady, the little one with a
  • cast in her eye and the handsome watch, is Mrs. Binny--Miss Grits that
  • was; her pa was a grocer, and kept the Little Original Gold Tea Pot in
  • Kensington Gravel Pits. They were married last month, and are just
  • come back from Margate. She's five thousand pound to her fortune; but
  • her and Miss B., who made the match, have quarrelled already."
  • If the Major had twitched before, he started now, and slapped the
  • bamboo on the ground with an emphasis which made Miss Clapp cry, "Law,"
  • and laugh too. He stood for a moment, silent, with open mouth, looking
  • after the retreating young couple, while Miss Mary told their history;
  • but he did not hear beyond the announcement of the reverend gentleman's
  • marriage; his head was swimming with felicity. After this rencontre he
  • began to walk double quick towards the place of his destination--and
  • yet they were too soon (for he was in a great tremor at the idea of a
  • meeting for which he had been longing any time these ten
  • years)--through the Brompton lanes, and entering at the little old
  • portal in Kensington Garden wall.
  • "There they are," said Miss Polly, and she felt him again start back on
  • her arm. She was a confidante at once of the whole business. She knew
  • the story as well as if she had read it in one of her favourite
  • novel-books--Fatherless Fanny, or the Scottish Chiefs.
  • "Suppose you were to run on and tell her," the Major said. Polly ran
  • forward, her yellow shawl streaming in the breeze.
  • Old Sedley was seated on a bench, his handkerchief placed over his
  • knees, prattling away, according to his wont, with some old story about
  • old times to which Amelia had listened and awarded a patient smile many
  • a time before. She could of late think of her own affairs, and smile
  • or make other marks of recognition of her father's stories, scarcely
  • hearing a word of the old man's tales. As Mary came bouncing along, and
  • Amelia caught sight of her, she started up from her bench. Her first
  • thought was that something had happened to Georgy, but the sight of the
  • messenger's eager and happy face dissipated that fear in the timorous
  • mother's bosom.
  • "News! News!" cried the emissary of Major Dobbin. "He's come! He's
  • come!"
  • "Who is come?" said Emmy, still thinking of her son.
  • "Look there," answered Miss Clapp, turning round and pointing; in which
  • direction Amelia looking, saw Dobbin's lean figure and long shadow
  • stalking across the grass. Amelia started in her turn, blushed up,
  • and, of course, began to cry. At all this simple little creature's
  • fetes, the grandes eaux were accustomed to play. He looked at her--oh,
  • how fondly--as she came running towards him, her hands before her,
  • ready to give them to him. She wasn't changed. She was a little pale,
  • a little stouter in figure. Her eyes were the same, the kind trustful
  • eyes. There were scarce three lines of silver in her soft brown hair.
  • She gave him both her hands as she looked up flushing and smiling
  • through her tears into his honest homely face. He took the two little
  • hands between his two and held them there. He was speechless for a
  • moment. Why did he not take her in his arms and swear that he would
  • never leave her? She must have yielded: she could not but have obeyed
  • him.
  • "I--I've another arrival to announce," he said after a pause.
  • "Mrs. Dobbin?" Amelia said, making a movement back--why didn't he speak?
  • "No," he said, letting her hands go: "Who has told you those lies? I
  • mean, your brother Jos came in the same ship with me, and is come home
  • to make you all happy."
  • "Papa, Papa!" Emmy cried out, "here are news! My brother is in
  • England. He is come to take care of you. Here is Major Dobbin."
  • Mr. Sedley started up, shaking a great deal and gathering up his
  • thoughts. Then he stepped forward and made an old-fashioned bow to the
  • Major, whom he called Mr. Dobbin, and hoped his worthy father, Sir
  • William, was quite well. He proposed to call upon Sir William, who had
  • done him the honour of a visit a short time ago. Sir William had not
  • called upon the old gentleman for eight years--it was that visit he was
  • thinking of returning.
  • "He is very much shaken," Emmy whispered as Dobbin went up and
  • cordially shook hands with the old man.
  • Although he had such particular business in London that evening, the
  • Major consented to forego it upon Mr. Sedley's invitation to him to
  • come home and partake of tea. Amelia put her arm under that of her
  • young friend with the yellow shawl and headed the party on their return
  • homewards, so that Mr. Sedley fell to Dobbin's share. The old man
  • walked very slowly and told a number of ancient histories about himself
  • and his poor Bessy, his former prosperity, and his bankruptcy. His
  • thoughts, as is usual with failing old men, were quite in former times.
  • The present, with the exception of the one catastrophe which he felt,
  • he knew little about. The Major was glad to let him talk on. His eyes
  • were fixed upon the figure in front of him--the dear little figure
  • always present to his imagination and in his prayers, and visiting his
  • dreams wakeful or slumbering.
  • Amelia was very happy, smiling, and active all that evening, performing
  • her duties as hostess of the little entertainment with the utmost grace
  • and propriety, as Dobbin thought. His eyes followed her about as they
  • sat in the twilight. How many a time had he longed for that moment and
  • thought of her far away under hot winds and in weary marches, gentle
  • and happy, kindly ministering to the wants of old age, and decorating
  • poverty with sweet submission--as he saw her now. I do not say that
  • his taste was the highest, or that it is the duty of great intellects
  • to be content with a bread-and-butter paradise, such as sufficed our
  • simple old friend; but his desires were of this sort, whether for good
  • or bad, and, with Amelia to help him, he was as ready to drink as many
  • cups of tea as Doctor Johnson.
  • Amelia seeing this propensity, laughingly encouraged it and looked
  • exceedingly roguish as she administered to him cup after cup. It is
  • true she did not know that the Major had had no dinner and that the
  • cloth was laid for him at the Slaughters', and a plate laid thereon to
  • mark that the table was retained, in that very box in which the Major
  • and George had sat many a time carousing, when she was a child just
  • come home from Miss Pinkerton's school.
  • The first thing Mrs. Osborne showed the Major was Georgy's miniature,
  • for which she ran upstairs on her arrival at home. It was not half
  • handsome enough of course for the boy, but wasn't it noble of him to
  • think of bringing it to his mother? Whilst her papa was awake she did
  • not talk much about Georgy. To hear about Mr. Osborne and Russell
  • Square was not agreeable to the old man, who very likely was
  • unconscious that he had been living for some months past mainly on the
  • bounty of his richer rival, and lost his temper if allusion was made to
  • the other.
  • Dobbin told him all, and a little more perhaps than all, that had
  • happened on board the Ramchunder, and exaggerated Jos's benevolent
  • dispositions towards his father and resolution to make him comfortable
  • in his old days. The truth is that during the voyage the Major had
  • impressed this duty most strongly upon his fellow-passenger and
  • extorted promises from him that he would take charge of his sister and
  • her child. He soothed Jos's irritation with regard to the bills which
  • the old gentleman had drawn upon him, gave a laughing account of his
  • own sufferings on the same score and of the famous consignment of wine
  • with which the old man had favoured him, and brought Mr. Jos, who was
  • by no means an ill-natured person when well-pleased and moderately
  • flattered, to a very good state of feeling regarding his relatives in
  • Europe.
  • And in fine I am ashamed to say that the Major stretched the truth so
  • far as to tell old Mr. Sedley that it was mainly a desire to see his
  • parent which brought Jos once more to Europe.
  • At his accustomed hour Mr. Sedley began to doze in his chair, and then
  • it was Amelia's opportunity to commence her conversation, which she did
  • with great eagerness--it related exclusively to Georgy. She did not
  • talk at all about her own sufferings at breaking from him, for indeed,
  • this worthy woman, though she was half-killed by the separation from
  • the child, yet thought it was very wicked in her to repine at losing
  • him; but everything concerning him, his virtues, talents, and
  • prospects, she poured out. She described his angelic beauty; narrated
  • a hundred instances of his generosity and greatness of mind whilst
  • living with her; how a Royal Duchess had stopped and admired him in
  • Kensington Gardens; how splendidly he was cared for now, and how he had
  • a groom and a pony; what quickness and cleverness he had, and what a
  • prodigiously well-read and delightful person the Reverend Lawrence Veal
  • was, George's master. "He knows EVERYTHING," Amelia said. "He has the
  • most delightful parties. You who are so learned yourself, and have
  • read so much, and are so clever and accomplished--don't shake your head
  • and say no--HE always used to say you were--you will be charmed with
  • Mr. Veal's parties. The last Tuesday in every month. He says there is
  • no place in the bar or the senate that Georgy may not aspire to. Look
  • here," and she went to the piano-drawer and drew out a theme of
  • Georgy's composition. This great effort of genius, which is still in
  • the possession of George's mother, is as follows:
  • On Selfishness--Of all the vices which degrade the human character,
  • Selfishness is the most odious and contemptible. An undue love of Self
  • leads to the most monstrous crimes and occasions the greatest
  • misfortunes both in States and Families. As a selfish man will
  • impoverish his family and often bring them to ruin, so a selfish king
  • brings ruin on his people and often plunges them into war.
  • Example: The selfishness of Achilles, as remarked by the poet Homer,
  • occasioned a thousand woes to the Greeks--muri Achaiois alge
  • etheke--(Hom. Il. A. 2). The selfishness of the late Napoleon Bonaparte
  • occasioned innumerable wars in Europe and caused him to perish,
  • himself, in a miserable island--that of Saint Helena in the Atlantic
  • Ocean.
  • We see by these examples that we are not to consult our own interest
  • and ambition, but that we are to consider the interests of others as
  • well as our own.
  • George S. Osborne Athene House, 24 April, 1827
  • "Think of him writing such a hand, and quoting Greek too, at his age,"
  • the delighted mother said. "Oh, William," she added, holding out her
  • hand to the Major, "what a treasure Heaven has given me in that boy!
  • He is the comfort of my life--and he is the image of--of him that's
  • gone!"
  • "Ought I to be angry with her for being faithful to him?" William
  • thought. "Ought I to be jealous of my friend in the grave, or hurt
  • that such a heart as Amelia's can love only once and for ever? Oh,
  • George, George, how little you knew the prize you had, though." This
  • sentiment passed rapidly through William's mind as he was holding
  • Amelia's hand, whilst the handkerchief was veiling her eyes.
  • "Dear friend," she said, pressing the hand which held hers, "how good,
  • how kind you always have been to me! See! Papa is stirring. You will
  • go and see Georgy tomorrow, won't you?"
  • "Not to-morrow," said poor old Dobbin. "I have business." He did not
  • like to own that he had not as yet been to his parents' and his dear
  • sister Anne--a remissness for which I am sure every well-regulated
  • person will blame the Major. And presently he took his leave, leaving
  • his address behind him for Jos, against the latter's arrival. And so
  • the first day was over, and he had seen her.
  • When he got back to the Slaughters', the roast fowl was of course cold,
  • in which condition he ate it for supper. And knowing what early hours
  • his family kept, and that it would be needless to disturb their
  • slumbers at so late an hour, it is on record, that Major Dobbin treated
  • himself to half-price at the Haymarket Theatre that evening, where let
  • us hope he enjoyed himself.
  • CHAPTER LIX
  • The Old Piano
  • The Major's visit left old John Sedley in a great state of agitation
  • and excitement. His daughter could not induce him to settle down to
  • his customary occupations or amusements that night. He passed the
  • evening fumbling amongst his boxes and desks, untying his papers with
  • trembling hands, and sorting and arranging them against Jos's arrival.
  • He had them in the greatest order--his tapes and his files, his
  • receipts, and his letters with lawyers and correspondents; the
  • documents relative to the wine project (which failed from a most
  • unaccountable accident, after commencing with the most splendid
  • prospects), the coal project (which only a want of capital prevented
  • from becoming the most successful scheme ever put before the public),
  • the patent saw-mills and sawdust consolidation project, &c., &c. All
  • night, until a very late hour, he passed in the preparation of these
  • documents, trembling about from one room to another, with a quivering
  • candle and shaky hands. Here's the wine papers, here's the sawdust,
  • here's the coals; here's my letters to Calcutta and Madras, and replies
  • from Major Dobbin, C.B., and Mr. Joseph Sedley to the same. "He shall
  • find no irregularity about ME, Emmy," the old gentleman said.
  • Emmy smiled. "I don't think Jos will care about seeing those papers,
  • Papa," she said.
  • "You don't know anything about business, my dear," answered the sire,
  • shaking his head with an important air. And it must be confessed that
  • on this point Emmy was very ignorant, and that is a pity some people
  • are so knowing. All these twopenny documents arranged on a side table,
  • old Sedley covered them carefully over with a clean bandanna
  • handkerchief (one out of Major Dobbin's lot) and enjoined the maid and
  • landlady of the house, in the most solemn way, not to disturb those
  • papers, which were arranged for the arrival of Mr. Joseph Sedley the
  • next morning, "Mr. Joseph Sedley of the Honourable East India Company's
  • Bengal Civil Service."
  • Amelia found him up very early the next morning, more eager, more
  • hectic, and more shaky than ever. "I didn't sleep much, Emmy, my
  • dear," he said. "I was thinking of my poor Bessy. I wish she was
  • alive, to ride in Jos's carriage once again. She kept her own and
  • became it very well." And his eyes filled with tears, which trickled
  • down his furrowed old face. Amelia wiped them away, and smilingly
  • kissed him, and tied the old man's neckcloth in a smart bow, and put
  • his brooch into his best shirt frill, in which, in his Sunday suit of
  • mourning, he sat from six o'clock in the morning awaiting the arrival
  • of his son.
  • However, when the postman made his appearance, the little party were
  • put out of suspense by the receipt of a letter from Jos to his sister,
  • who announced that he felt a little fatigued after his voyage, and
  • should not be able to move on that day, but that he would leave
  • Southampton early the next morning and be with his father and mother at
  • evening. Amelia, as she read out the letter to her father, paused over
  • the latter word; her brother, it was clear, did not know what had
  • happened in the family. Nor could he, for the fact is that, though the
  • Major rightly suspected that his travelling companion never would be
  • got into motion in so short a space as twenty-four hours, and would
  • find some excuse for delaying, yet Dobbin had not written to Jos to
  • inform him of the calamity which had befallen the Sedley family, being
  • occupied in talking with Amelia until long after post-hour.
  • There are some splendid tailors' shops in the High Street of
  • Southampton, in the fine plate-glass windows of which hang gorgeous
  • waistcoats of all sorts, of silk and velvet, and gold and crimson, and
  • pictures of the last new fashions, in which those wonderful gentlemen
  • with quizzing glasses, and holding on to little boys with the exceeding
  • large eyes and curly hair, ogle ladies in riding habits prancing by the
  • Statue of Achilles at Apsley House. Jos, although provided with some
  • of the most splendid vests that Calcutta could furnish, thought he
  • could not go to town until he was supplied with one or two of these
  • garments, and selected a crimson satin, embroidered with gold
  • butterflies, and a black and red velvet tartan with white stripes and a
  • rolling collar, with which, and a rich blue satin stock and a gold pin,
  • consisting of a five-barred gate with a horseman in pink enamel jumping
  • over it, he thought he might make his entry into London with some
  • dignity. For Jos's former shyness and blundering blushing timidity had
  • given way to a more candid and courageous self-assertion of his worth.
  • "I don't care about owning it," Waterloo Sedley would say to his
  • friends, "I am a dressy man"; and though rather uneasy if the ladies
  • looked at him at the Government House balls, and though he blushed and
  • turned away alarmed under their glances, it was chiefly from a dread
  • lest they should make love to him that he avoided them, being averse to
  • marriage altogether. But there was no such swell in Calcutta as
  • Waterloo Sedley, I have heard say, and he had the handsomest turn-out,
  • gave the best bachelor dinners, and had the finest plate in the whole
  • place.
  • To make these waistcoats for a man of his size and dignity took at
  • least a day, part of which he employed in hiring a servant to wait upon
  • him and his native and in instructing the agent who cleared his
  • baggage, his boxes, his books, which he never read, his chests of
  • mangoes, chutney, and curry-powders, his shawls for presents to people
  • whom he didn't know as yet, and the rest of his Persicos apparatus.
  • At length, he drove leisurely to London on the third day and in the new
  • waistcoat, the native, with chattering teeth, shuddering in a shawl on
  • the box by the side of the new European servant; Jos puffing his pipe
  • at intervals within and looking so majestic that the little boys cried
  • Hooray, and many people thought he must be a Governor-General. HE, I
  • promise, did not decline the obsequious invitation of the landlords to
  • alight and refresh himself in the neat country towns. Having partaken
  • of a copious breakfast, with fish, and rice, and hard eggs, at
  • Southampton, he had so far rallied at Winchester as to think a glass of
  • sherry necessary. At Alton he stepped out of the carriage at his
  • servant's request and imbibed some of the ale for which the place is
  • famous. At Farnham he stopped to view the Bishop's Castle and to
  • partake of a light dinner of stewed eels, veal cutlets, and French
  • beans, with a bottle of claret. He was cold over Bagshot Heath, where
  • the native chattered more and more, and Jos Sahib took some
  • brandy-and-water; in fact, when he drove into town he was as full of
  • wine, beer, meat, pickles, cherry-brandy, and tobacco as the steward's
  • cabin of a steam-packet. It was evening when his carriage thundered up
  • to the little door in Brompton, whither the affectionate fellow drove
  • first, and before hieing to the apartments secured for him by Mr.
  • Dobbin at the Slaughters'.
  • All the faces in the street were in the windows; the little maidservant
  • flew to the wicket-gate; the Mesdames Clapp looked out from the
  • casement of the ornamented kitchen; Emmy, in a great flutter, was in
  • the passage among the hats and coats; and old Sedley in the parlour
  • inside, shaking all over. Jos descended from the post-chaise and down
  • the creaking swaying steps in awful state, supported by the new valet
  • from Southampton and the shuddering native, whose brown face was now
  • livid with cold and of the colour of a turkey's gizzard. He created an
  • immense sensation in the passage presently, where Mrs. and Miss Clapp,
  • coming perhaps to listen at the parlour door, found Loll Jewab shaking
  • upon the hall-bench under the coats, moaning in a strange piteous way,
  • and showing his yellow eyeballs and white teeth.
  • For, you see, we have adroitly shut the door upon the meeting between
  • Jos and the old father and the poor little gentle sister inside. The
  • old man was very much affected; so, of course, was his daughter; nor
  • was Jos without feeling. In that long absence of ten years, the most
  • selfish will think about home and early ties. Distance sanctifies both.
  • Long brooding over those lost pleasures exaggerates their charm and
  • sweetness. Jos was unaffectedly glad to see and shake the hand of his
  • father, between whom and himself there had been a coolness--glad to see
  • his little sister, whom he remembered so pretty and smiling, and pained
  • at the alteration which time, grief, and misfortune had made in the
  • shattered old man. Emmy had come out to the door in her black clothes
  • and whispered to him of her mother's death, and not to speak of it to
  • their father. There was no need of this caution, for the elder Sedley
  • himself began immediately to speak of the event, and prattled about it,
  • and wept over it plenteously. It shocked the Indian not a little and
  • made him think of himself less than the poor fellow was accustomed to
  • do.
  • The result of the interview must have been very satisfactory, for when
  • Jos had reascended his post-chaise and had driven away to his hotel,
  • Emmy embraced her father tenderly, appealing to him with an air of
  • triumph, and asking the old man whether she did not always say that her
  • brother had a good heart?
  • Indeed, Joseph Sedley, affected by the humble position in which he
  • found his relations, and in the expansiveness and overflowing of heart
  • occasioned by the first meeting, declared that they should never suffer
  • want or discomfort any more, that he was at home for some time at any
  • rate, during which his house and everything he had should be theirs:
  • and that Amelia would look very pretty at the head of his table--until
  • she would accept one of her own.
  • She shook her head sadly and had, as usual, recourse to the waterworks.
  • She knew what he meant. She and her young confidante, Miss Mary, had
  • talked over the matter most fully, the very night of the Major's visit,
  • beyond which time the impetuous Polly could not refrain from talking of
  • the discovery which she had made, and describing the start and tremor
  • of joy by which Major Dobbin betrayed himself when Mr. Binny passed
  • with his bride and the Major learned that he had no longer a rival to
  • fear. "Didn't you see how he shook all over when you asked if he was
  • married and he said, 'Who told you those lies?' Oh, M'am," Polly said,
  • "he never kept his eyes off you, and I'm sure he's grown grey athinking
  • of you."
  • But Amelia, looking up at her bed, over which hung the portraits of her
  • husband and son, told her young protegee never, never, to speak on that
  • subject again; that Major Dobbin had been her husband's dearest friend
  • and her own and George's most kind and affectionate guardian; that she
  • loved him as a brother--but that a woman who had been married to such
  • an angel as that, and she pointed to the wall, could never think of any
  • other union. Poor Polly sighed: she thought what she should do if
  • young Mr. Tomkins, at the surgery, who always looked at her so at
  • church, and who, by those mere aggressive glances had put her timorous
  • little heart into such a flutter that she was ready to surrender at
  • once,--what she should do if he were to die? She knew he was
  • consumptive, his cheeks were so red and he was so uncommon thin in the
  • waist.
  • Not that Emmy, being made aware of the honest Major's passion, rebuffed
  • him in any way, or felt displeased with him. Such an attachment from
  • so true and loyal a gentleman could make no woman angry. Desdemona was
  • not angry with Cassio, though there is very little doubt she saw the
  • Lieutenant's partiality for her (and I for my part believe that many
  • more things took place in that sad affair than the worthy Moorish
  • officer ever knew of); why, Miranda was even very kind to Caliban, and
  • we may be pretty sure for the same reason. Not that she would encourage
  • him in the least--the poor uncouth monster--of course not. No more
  • would Emmy by any means encourage her admirer, the Major. She would
  • give him that friendly regard, which so much excellence and fidelity
  • merited; she would treat him with perfect cordiality and frankness
  • until he made his proposals, and THEN it would be time enough for her
  • to speak and to put an end to hopes which never could be realized.
  • She slept, therefore, very soundly that evening, after the conversation
  • with Miss Polly, and was more than ordinarily happy, in spite of Jos's
  • delaying. "I am glad he is not going to marry that Miss O'Dowd," she
  • thought. "Colonel O'Dowd never could have a sister fit for such an
  • accomplished man as Major William." Who was there amongst her little
  • circle who would make him a good wife? Not Miss Binny, she was too old
  • and ill-tempered; Miss Osborne? too old too. Little Polly was too
  • young. Mrs. Osborne could not find anybody to suit the Major before she
  • went to sleep.
  • The same morning brought Major Dobbin a letter to the Slaughters'
  • Coffee-house from his friend at Southampton, begging dear Dob to excuse
  • Jos for being in a rage when awakened the day before (he had a
  • confounded headache, and was just in his first sleep), and entreating
  • Dob to engage comfortable rooms at the Slaughters' for Mr. Sedley and
  • his servants. The Major had become necessary to Jos during the voyage.
  • He was attached to him, and hung upon him. The other passengers were
  • away to London. Young Ricketts and little Chaffers went away on the
  • coach that day--Ricketts on the box, and taking the reins from Botley;
  • the Doctor was off to his family at Portsea; Bragg gone to town to his
  • co-partners; and the first mate busy in the unloading of the
  • Ramchunder. Mr. Joe was very lonely at Southampton, and got the
  • landlord of the George to take a glass of wine with him that day, at
  • the very hour at which Major Dobbin was seated at the table of his
  • father, Sir William, where his sister found out (for it was impossible
  • for the Major to tell fibs) that he had been to see Mrs. George Osborne.
  • Jos was so comfortably situated in St. Martin's Lane, he could enjoy
  • his hookah there with such perfect ease, and could swagger down to the
  • theatres, when minded, so agreeably, that, perhaps, he would have
  • remained altogether at the Slaughters' had not his friend, the Major,
  • been at his elbow. That gentleman would not let the Bengalee rest
  • until he had executed his promise of having a home for Amelia and his
  • father. Jos was a soft fellow in anybody's hands, Dobbin most active
  • in anybody's concerns but his own; the civilian was, therefore, an easy
  • victim to the guileless arts of this good-natured diplomatist and was
  • ready to do, to purchase, hire, or relinquish whatever his friend
  • thought fit. Loll Jewab, of whom the boys about St. Martin's Lane
  • used to make cruel fun whenever he showed his dusky countenance in the
  • street, was sent back to Calcutta in the Lady Kicklebury East Indiaman,
  • in which Sir William Dobbin had a share, having previously taught Jos's
  • European the art of preparing curries, pilaus, and pipes. It was a
  • matter of great delight and occupation to Jos to superintend the
  • building of a smart chariot which he and the Major ordered in the
  • neighbouring Long Acre: and a pair of handsome horses were jobbed,
  • with which Jos drove about in state in the park, or to call upon his
  • Indian friends. Amelia was not seldom by his side on these excursions,
  • when also Major Dobbin would be seen in the back seat of the carriage.
  • At other times old Sedley and his daughter took advantage of it, and
  • Miss Clapp, who frequently accompanied her friend, had great pleasure
  • in being recognized as she sat in the carriage, dressed in the famous
  • yellow shawl, by the young gentleman at the surgery, whose face might
  • commonly be seen over the window-blinds as she passed.
  • Shortly after Jos's first appearance at Brompton, a dismal scene,
  • indeed, took place at that humble cottage at which the Sedleys had
  • passed the last ten years of their life. Jos's carriage (the temporary
  • one, not the chariot under construction) arrived one day and carried
  • off old Sedley and his daughter--to return no more. The tears that
  • were shed by the landlady and the landlady's daughter at that event
  • were as genuine tears of sorrow as any that have been outpoured in the
  • course of this history. In their long acquaintanceship and intimacy
  • they could not recall a harsh word that had been uttered by Amelia. She
  • had been all sweetness and kindness, always thankful, always gentle,
  • even when Mrs. Clapp lost her own temper and pressed for the rent.
  • When the kind creature was going away for good and all, the landlady
  • reproached herself bitterly for ever having used a rough expression to
  • her--how she wept, as they stuck up with wafers on the window, a paper
  • notifying that the little rooms so long occupied were to let! They
  • never would have such lodgers again, that was quite clear. After-life
  • proved the truth of this melancholy prophecy, and Mrs. Clapp revenged
  • herself for the deterioration of mankind by levying the most savage
  • contributions upon the tea-caddies and legs of mutton of her
  • locataires. Most of them scolded and grumbled; some of them did not
  • pay; none of them stayed. The landlady might well regret those old, old
  • friends, who had left her.
  • As for Miss Mary, her sorrow at Amelia's departure was such as I shall
  • not attempt to depict. From childhood upwards she had been with her
  • daily and had attached herself so passionately to that dear good lady
  • that when the grand barouche came to carry her off into splendour, she
  • fainted in the arms of her friend, who was indeed scarcely less
  • affected than the good-natured girl. Amelia loved her like a daughter.
  • During eleven years the girl had been her constant friend and
  • associate. The separation was a very painful one indeed to her. But
  • it was of course arranged that Mary was to come and stay often at the
  • grand new house whither Mrs. Osborne was going, and where Mary was sure
  • she would never be so happy as she had been in their humble cot, as
  • Miss Clapp called it, in the language of the novels which she loved.
  • Let us hope she was wrong in her judgement. Poor Emmy's days of
  • happiness had been very few in that humble cot. A gloomy Fate had
  • oppressed her there. She never liked to come back to the house after
  • she had left it, or to face the landlady who had tyrannized over her
  • when ill-humoured and unpaid, or when pleased had treated her with a
  • coarse familiarity scarcely less odious. Her servility and fulsome
  • compliments when Emmy was in prosperity were not more to that lady's
  • liking. She cast about notes of admiration all over the new house,
  • extolling every article of furniture or ornament; she fingered Mrs.
  • Osborne's dresses and calculated their price. Nothing could be too good
  • for that sweet lady, she vowed and protested. But in the vulgar
  • sycophant who now paid court to her, Emmy always remembered the coarse
  • tyrant who had made her miserable many a time, to whom she had been
  • forced to put up petitions for time, when the rent was overdue; who
  • cried out at her extravagance if she bought delicacies for her ailing
  • mother or father; who had seen her humble and trampled upon her.
  • Nobody ever heard of these griefs, which had been part of our poor
  • little woman's lot in life. She kept them secret from her father,
  • whose improvidence was the cause of much of her misery. She had to
  • bear all the blame of his misdoings, and indeed was so utterly gentle
  • and humble as to be made by nature for a victim.
  • I hope she is not to suffer much more of that hard usage. And, as in
  • all griefs there is said to be some consolation, I may mention that
  • poor Mary, when left at her friend's departure in a hysterical
  • condition, was placed under the medical treatment of the young fellow
  • from the surgery, under whose care she rallied after a short period.
  • Emmy, when she went away from Brompton, endowed Mary with every article
  • of furniture that the house contained, only taking away her pictures
  • (the two pictures over the bed) and her piano--that little old piano
  • which had now passed into a plaintive jingling old age, but which she
  • loved for reasons of her own. She was a child when first she played on
  • it, and her parents gave it her. It had been given to her again since,
  • as the reader may remember, when her father's house was gone to ruin
  • and the instrument was recovered out of the wreck.
  • Major Dobbin was exceedingly pleased when, as he was superintending the
  • arrangements of Jos's new house--which the Major insisted should be
  • very handsome and comfortable--the cart arrived from Brompton, bringing
  • the trunks and bandboxes of the emigrants from that village, and with
  • them the old piano. Amelia would have it up in her sitting-room, a
  • neat little apartment on the second floor, adjoining her father's
  • chamber, and where the old gentleman sat commonly of evenings.
  • When the men appeared then bearing this old music-box, and Amelia gave
  • orders that it should be placed in the chamber aforesaid, Dobbin was
  • quite elated. "I'm glad you've kept it," he said in a very sentimental
  • manner. "I was afraid you didn't care about it."
  • "I value it more than anything I have in the world," said Amelia.
  • "Do you, Amelia?" cried the Major. The fact was, as he had bought it
  • himself, though he never said anything about it, it never entered into
  • his head to suppose that Emmy should think anybody else was the
  • purchaser, and as a matter of course he fancied that she knew the gift
  • came from him. "Do you, Amelia?" he said; and the question, the great
  • question of all, was trembling on his lips, when Emmy replied--
  • "Can I do otherwise?--did not he give it me?"
  • "I did not know," said poor old Dob, and his countenance fell.
  • Emmy did not note the circumstance at the time, nor take immediate heed
  • of the very dismal expression which honest Dobbin's countenance
  • assumed, but she thought of it afterwards. And then it struck her,
  • with inexpressible pain and mortification too, that it was William who
  • was the giver of the piano, and not George, as she had fancied. It was
  • not George's gift; the only one which she had received from her lover,
  • as she thought--the thing she had cherished beyond all others--her
  • dearest relic and prize. She had spoken to it about George; played his
  • favourite airs upon it; sat for long evening hours, touching, to the
  • best of her simple art, melancholy harmonies on the keys, and weeping
  • over them in silence. It was not George's relic. It was valueless now.
  • The next time that old Sedley asked her to play, she said it was
  • shockingly out of tune, that she had a headache, that she couldn't play.
  • Then, according to her custom, she rebuked herself for her pettishness
  • and ingratitude and determined to make a reparation to honest William
  • for the slight she had not expressed to him, but had felt for his
  • piano. A few days afterwards, as they were seated in the drawing-room,
  • where Jos had fallen asleep with great comfort after dinner, Amelia
  • said with rather a faltering voice to Major Dobbin--
  • "I have to beg your pardon for something."
  • "About what?" said he.
  • "About--about that little square piano. I never thanked you for it
  • when you gave it me, many, many years ago, before I was married. I
  • thought somebody else had given it. Thank you, William." She held out
  • her hand, but the poor little woman's heart was bleeding; and as for
  • her eyes, of course they were at their work.
  • But William could hold no more. "Amelia, Amelia," he said, "I did buy
  • it for you. I loved you then as I do now. I must tell you. I think I
  • loved you from the first minute that I saw you, when George brought me
  • to your house, to show me the Amelia whom he was engaged to. You were
  • but a girl, in white, with large ringlets; you came down singing--do
  • you remember?--and we went to Vauxhall. Since then I have thought of
  • but one woman in the world, and that was you. I think there is no hour
  • in the day has passed for twelve years that I haven't thought of you.
  • I came to tell you this before I went to India, but you did not care,
  • and I hadn't the heart to speak. You did not care whether I stayed or
  • went."
  • "I was very ungrateful," Amelia said.
  • "No, only indifferent," Dobbin continued desperately. "I have nothing
  • to make a woman to be otherwise. I know what you are feeling now. You
  • are hurt in your heart at the discovery about the piano, and that it
  • came from me and not from George. I forgot, or I should never have
  • spoken of it so. It is for me to ask your pardon for being a fool for
  • a moment, and thinking that years of constancy and devotion might have
  • pleaded with you."
  • "It is you who are cruel now," Amelia said with some spirit. "George is
  • my husband, here and in heaven. How could I love any other but him? I
  • am his now as when you first saw me, dear William. It was he who told
  • me how good and generous you were, and who taught me to love you as a
  • brother. Have you not been everything to me and my boy? Our dearest,
  • truest, kindest friend and protector? Had you come a few months sooner
  • perhaps you might have spared me that--that dreadful parting. Oh, it
  • nearly killed me, William--but you didn't come, though I wished and
  • prayed for you to come, and they took him too away from me. Isn't he a
  • noble boy, William? Be his friend still and mine"--and here her voice
  • broke, and she hid her face on his shoulder.
  • The Major folded his arms round her, holding her to him as if she was a
  • child, and kissed her head. "I will not change, dear Amelia," he said.
  • "I ask for no more than your love. I think I would not have it
  • otherwise. Only let me stay near you and see you often."
  • "Yes, often," Amelia said. And so William was at liberty to look and
  • long--as the poor boy at school who has no money may sigh after the
  • contents of the tart-woman's tray.
  • CHAPTER LX
  • Returns to the Genteel World
  • Good fortune now begins to smile upon Amelia. We are glad to get her
  • out of that low sphere in which she has been creeping hitherto and
  • introduce her into a polite circle--not so grand and refined as that in
  • which our other female friend, Mrs. Becky, has appeared, but still
  • having no small pretensions to gentility and fashion. Jos's friends
  • were all from the three presidencies, and his new house was in the
  • comfortable Anglo-Indian district of which Moira Place is the centre.
  • Minto Square, Great Clive Street, Warren Street, Hastings Street,
  • Ochterlony Place, Plassy Square, Assaye Terrace ("gardens" was a
  • felicitous word not applied to stucco houses with asphalt terraces in
  • front, so early as 1827)--who does not know these respectable abodes of
  • the retired Indian aristocracy, and the quarter which Mr. Wenham calls
  • the Black Hole, in a word? Jos's position in life was not grand enough
  • to entitle him to a house in Moira Place, where none can live but
  • retired Members of Council, and partners of Indian firms (who break,
  • after having settled a hundred thousand pounds on their wives, and
  • retire into comparative penury to a country place and four thousand a
  • year); he engaged a comfortable house of a second- or third-rate order
  • in Gillespie Street, purchasing the carpets, costly mirrors, and
  • handsome and appropriate planned furniture by Seddons from the
  • assignees of Mr. Scape, lately admitted partner into the great Calcutta
  • House of Fogle, Fake, and Cracksman, in which poor Scape had embarked
  • seventy thousand pounds, the earnings of a long and honourable life,
  • taking Fake's place, who retired to a princely park in Sussex (the
  • Fogles have been long out of the firm, and Sir Horace Fogle is about to
  • be raised to the peerage as Baron Bandanna)--admitted, I say, partner
  • into the great agency house of Fogle and Fake two years before it
  • failed for a million and plunged half the Indian public into misery and
  • ruin.
  • Scape, ruined, honest, and broken-hearted at sixty-five years of age,
  • went out to Calcutta to wind up the affairs of the house. Walter Scape
  • was withdrawn from Eton and put into a merchant's house. Florence
  • Scape, Fanny Scape, and their mother faded away to Boulogne, and will
  • be heard of no more. To be brief, Jos stepped in and bought their
  • carpets and sideboards and admired himself in the mirrors which had
  • reflected their kind handsome faces. The Scape tradesmen, all
  • honourably paid, left their cards, and were eager to supply the new
  • household. The large men in white waistcoats who waited at Scape's
  • dinners, greengrocers, bank-porters, and milkmen in their private
  • capacity, left their addresses and ingratiated themselves with the
  • butler. Mr. Chummy, the chimney-purifier, who had swept the last three
  • families, tried to coax the butler and the boy under him, whose duty it
  • was to go out covered with buttons and with stripes down his trousers,
  • for the protection of Mrs. Amelia whenever she chose to walk abroad.
  • It was a modest establishment. The butler was Jos's valet also, and
  • never was more drunk than a butler in a small family should be who has
  • a proper regard for his master's wine. Emmy was supplied with a maid,
  • grown on Sir William Dobbin's suburban estate; a good girl, whose
  • kindness and humility disarmed Mrs. Osborne, who was at first terrified
  • at the idea of having a servant to wait upon herself, who did not in
  • the least know how to use one, and who always spoke to domestics with
  • the most reverential politeness. But this maid was very useful in the
  • family, in dexterously tending old Mr. Sedley, who kept almost entirely
  • to his own quarter of the house and never mixed in any of the gay
  • doings which took place there.
  • Numbers of people came to see Mrs. Osborne. Lady Dobbin and daughters
  • were delighted at her change of fortune, and waited upon her. Miss
  • Osborne from Russell Square came in her grand chariot with the flaming
  • hammer-cloth emblazoned with the Leeds arms. Jos was reported to be
  • immensely rich. Old Osborne had no objection that Georgy should
  • inherit his uncle's property as well as his own. "Damn it, we will make
  • a man of the feller," he said; "and I'll see him in Parliament before I
  • die. You may go and see his mother, Miss O., though I'll never set
  • eyes on her": and Miss Osborne came. Emmy, you may be sure, was very
  • glad to see her, and so be brought nearer to George. That young fellow
  • was allowed to come much more frequently than before to visit his
  • mother. He dined once or twice a week in Gillespie Street and bullied
  • the servants and his relations there, just as he did in Russell Square.
  • He was always respectful to Major Dobbin, however, and more modest in
  • his demeanour when that gentleman was present. He was a clever lad and
  • afraid of the Major. George could not help admiring his friend's
  • simplicity, his good humour, his various learning quietly imparted, his
  • general love of truth and justice. He had met no such man as yet in
  • the course of his experience, and he had an instinctive liking for a
  • gentleman. He hung fondly by his godfather's side, and it was his
  • delight to walk in the parks and hear Dobbin talk. William told George
  • about his father, about India and Waterloo, about everything but
  • himself. When George was more than usually pert and conceited, the
  • Major made jokes at him, which Mrs. Osborne thought very cruel. One
  • day, taking him to the play, and the boy declining to go into the pit
  • because it was vulgar, the Major took him to the boxes, left him there,
  • and went down himself to the pit. He had not been seated there very
  • long before he felt an arm thrust under his and a dandy little hand in
  • a kid glove squeezing his arm. George had seen the absurdity of his
  • ways and come down from the upper region. A tender laugh of
  • benevolence lighted up old Dobbin's face and eyes as he looked at the
  • repentant little prodigal. He loved the boy, as he did everything that
  • belonged to Amelia. How charmed she was when she heard of this
  • instance of George's goodness! Her eyes looked more kindly on Dobbin
  • than they ever had done. She blushed, he thought, after looking at him
  • so.
  • Georgy never tired of his praises of the Major to his mother. "I like
  • him, Mamma, because he knows such lots of things; and he ain't like old
  • Veal, who is always bragging and using such long words, don't you know?
  • The chaps call him 'Longtail' at school. I gave him the name; ain't it
  • capital? But Dob reads Latin like English, and French and that; and
  • when we go out together he tells me stories about my Papa, and never
  • about himself; though I heard Colonel Buckler, at Grandpapa's, say that
  • he was one of the bravest officers in the army, and had distinguished
  • himself ever so much. Grandpapa was quite surprised, and said, 'THAT
  • feller! Why, I didn't think he could say Bo to a goose'--but I know he
  • could, couldn't he, Mamma?"
  • Emmy laughed: she thought it was very likely the Major could do thus
  • much.
  • If there was a sincere liking between George and the Major, it must be
  • confessed that between the boy and his uncle no great love existed.
  • George had got a way of blowing out his cheeks, and putting his hands
  • in his waistcoat pockets, and saying, "God bless my soul, you don't say
  • so," so exactly after the fashion of old Jos that it was impossible to
  • refrain from laughter. The servants would explode at dinner if the
  • lad, asking for something which wasn't at table, put on that
  • countenance and used that favourite phrase. Even Dobbin would shoot
  • out a sudden peal at the boy's mimicry. If George did not mimic his
  • uncle to his face, it was only by Dobbin's rebukes and Amelia's
  • terrified entreaties that the little scapegrace was induced to desist.
  • And the worthy civilian being haunted by a dim consciousness that the
  • lad thought him an ass, and was inclined to turn him into ridicule,
  • used to be extremely timorous and, of course, doubly pompous and
  • dignified in the presence of Master Georgy. When it was announced that
  • the young gentleman was expected in Gillespie Street to dine with his
  • mother, Mr. Jos commonly found that he had an engagement at the Club.
  • Perhaps nobody was much grieved at his absence. On those days Mr.
  • Sedley would commonly be induced to come out from his place of refuge
  • in the upper stories, and there would be a small family party, whereof
  • Major Dobbin pretty generally formed one. He was the ami de la
  • maison--old Sedley's friend, Emmy's friend, Georgy's friend, Jos's
  • counsel and adviser. "He might almost as well be at Madras for anything
  • WE see of him," Miss Ann Dobbin remarked at Camberwell. Ah! Miss Ann,
  • did it not strike you that it was not YOU whom the Major wanted to
  • marry?
  • Joseph Sedley then led a life of dignified otiosity such as became a
  • person of his eminence. His very first point, of course, was to become
  • a member of the Oriental Club, where he spent his mornings in the
  • company of his brother Indians, where he dined, or whence he brought
  • home men to dine.
  • Amelia had to receive and entertain these gentlemen and their ladies.
  • From these she heard how soon Smith would be in Council; how many lacs
  • Jones had brought home with him, how Thomson's House in London had
  • refused the bills drawn by Thomson, Kibobjee, and Co., the Bombay
  • House, and how it was thought the Calcutta House must go too; how very
  • imprudent, to say the least of it, Mrs. Brown's conduct (wife of Brown
  • of the Ahmednuggur Irregulars) had been with young Swankey of the Body
  • Guard, sitting up with him on deck until all hours, and losing
  • themselves as they were riding out at the Cape; how Mrs. Hardyman had
  • had out her thirteen sisters, daughters of a country curate, the Rev:
  • Felix Rabbits, and married eleven of them, seven high up in the
  • service; how Hornby was wild because his wife would stay in Europe, and
  • Trotter was appointed Collector at Ummerapoora. This and similar talk
  • took place at the grand dinners all round. They had the same
  • conversation; the same silver dishes; the same saddles of mutton,
  • boiled turkeys, and entrees. Politics set in a short time after
  • dessert, when the ladies retired upstairs and talked about their
  • complaints and their children.
  • Mutato nomine, it is all the same. Don't the barristers' wives talk
  • about Circuit? Don't the soldiers' ladies gossip about the Regiment?
  • Don't the clergymen's ladies discourse about Sunday-schools and who
  • takes whose duty? Don't the very greatest ladies of all talk about that
  • small clique of persons to whom they belong? And why should our Indian
  • friends not have their own conversation?--only I admit it is slow for
  • the laymen whose fate it sometimes is to sit by and listen.
  • Before long Emmy had a visiting-book, and was driving about regularly
  • in a carriage, calling upon Lady Bludyer (wife of Major-General Sir
  • Roger Bludyer, K.C.B., Bengal Army); Lady Huff, wife of Sir G. Huff,
  • Bombay ditto; Mrs. Pice, the Lady of Pice the Director, &c. We are not
  • long in using ourselves to changes in life. That carriage came round
  • to Gillespie Street every day; that buttony boy sprang up and down from
  • the box with Emmy's and Jos's visiting-cards; at stated hours Emmy and
  • the carriage went for Jos to the Club and took him an airing; or,
  • putting old Sedley into the vehicle, she drove the old man round the
  • Regent's Park. The lady's maid and the chariot, the visiting-book and
  • the buttony page, became soon as familiar to Amelia as the humble
  • routine of Brompton. She accommodated herself to one as to the other.
  • If Fate had ordained that she should be a Duchess, she would even have
  • done that duty too. She was voted, in Jos's female society, rather a
  • pleasing young person--not much in her, but pleasing, and that sort of
  • thing.
  • The men, as usual, liked her artless kindness and simple refined
  • demeanour. The gallant young Indian dandies at home on furlough--immense
  • dandies these--chained and moustached--driving in tearing cabs,
  • the pillars of the theatres, living at West End hotels--nevertheless
  • admired Mrs. Osborne, liked to bow to her carriage in the park, and to
  • be admitted to have the honour of paying her a morning visit. Swankey
  • of the Body Guard himself, that dangerous youth, and the greatest buck
  • of all the Indian army now on leave, was one day discovered by Major
  • Dobbin tete-a-tete with Amelia, and describing the sport of
  • pig-sticking to her with great humour and eloquence; and he spoke
  • afterwards of a d--d king's officer that's always hanging about the
  • house--a long, thin, queer-looking, oldish fellow--a dry fellow though,
  • that took the shine out of a man in the talking line.
  • Had the Major possessed a little more personal vanity he would have
  • been jealous of so dangerous a young buck as that fascinating Bengal
  • Captain. But Dobbin was of too simple and generous a nature to have
  • any doubts about Amelia. He was glad that the young men should pay her
  • respect, and that others should admire her. Ever since her womanhood
  • almost, had she not been persecuted and undervalued? It pleased him to
  • see how kindness bought out her good qualities and how her spirits
  • gently rose with her prosperity. Any person who appreciated her paid a
  • compliment to the Major's good judgement--that is, if a man may be
  • said to have good judgement who is under the influence of Love's
  • delusion.
  • After Jos went to Court, which we may be sure he did as a loyal subject
  • of his Sovereign (showing himself in his full court suit at the Club,
  • whither Dobbin came to fetch him in a very shabby old uniform) he who
  • had always been a staunch Loyalist and admirer of George IV, became
  • such a tremendous Tory and pillar of the State that he was for having
  • Amelia to go to a Drawing-room, too. He somehow had worked himself up
  • to believe that he was implicated in the maintenance of the public
  • welfare and that the Sovereign would not be happy unless Jos Sedley and
  • his family appeared to rally round him at St. James's.
  • Emmy laughed. "Shall I wear the family diamonds, Jos?" she said.
  • "I wish you would let me buy you some," thought the Major. "I should
  • like to see any that were too good for you."
  • CHAPTER LXI
  • In Which Two Lights are Put Out
  • There came a day when the round of decorous pleasures and solemn
  • gaieties in which Mr. Jos Sedley's family indulged was interrupted by
  • an event which happens in most houses. As you ascend the staircase of
  • your house from the drawing towards the bedroom floors, you may have
  • remarked a little arch in the wall right before you, which at once
  • gives light to the stair which leads from the second story to the third
  • (where the nursery and servants' chambers commonly are) and serves for
  • another purpose of utility, of which the undertaker's men can give you
  • a notion. They rest the coffins upon that arch, or pass them through
  • it so as not to disturb in any unseemly manner the cold tenant
  • slumbering within the black ark.
  • That second-floor arch in a London house, looking up and down the well
  • of the staircase and commanding the main thoroughfare by which the
  • inhabitants are passing; by which cook lurks down before daylight to
  • scour her pots and pans in the kitchen; by which young master
  • stealthily ascends, having left his boots in the hall, and let himself
  • in after dawn from a jolly night at the Club; down which miss comes
  • rustling in fresh ribbons and spreading muslins, brilliant and
  • beautiful, and prepared for conquest and the ball; or Master Tommy
  • slides, preferring the banisters for a mode of conveyance, and
  • disdaining danger and the stair; down which the mother is fondly
  • carried smiling in her strong husband's arms, as he steps steadily step
  • by step, and followed by the monthly nurse, on the day when the medical
  • man has pronounced that the charming patient may go downstairs; up
  • which John lurks to bed, yawning, with a sputtering tallow candle, and
  • to gather up before sunrise the boots which are awaiting him in the
  • passages--that stair, up or down which babies are carried, old people
  • are helped, guests are marshalled to the ball, the parson walks to the
  • christening, the doctor to the sick-room, and the undertaker's men to
  • the upper floor--what a memento of Life, Death, and Vanity it is--that
  • arch and stair--if you choose to consider it, and sit on the landing,
  • looking up and down the well! The doctor will come up to us too for
  • the last time there, my friend in motley. The nurse will look in at
  • the curtains, and you take no notice--and then she will fling open the
  • windows for a little and let in the air. Then they will pull down all
  • the front blinds of the house and live in the back rooms--then they
  • will send for the lawyer and other men in black, &c. Your comedy and
  • mine will have been played then, and we shall be removed, oh, how far,
  • from the trumpets, and the shouting, and the posture-making. If we
  • are gentlefolks they will put hatchments over our late domicile, with
  • gilt cherubim, and mottoes stating that there is "Quiet in Heaven."
  • Your son will new furnish the house, or perhaps let it, and go into a
  • more modern quarter; your name will be among the "Members Deceased" in
  • the lists of your clubs next year. However much you may be mourned,
  • your widow will like to have her weeds neatly made--the cook will send
  • or come up to ask about dinner--the survivor will soon bear to look at
  • your picture over the mantelpiece, which will presently be deposed from
  • the place of honour, to make way for the portrait of the son who reigns.
  • Which of the dead are most tenderly and passionately deplored? Those
  • who love the survivors the least, I believe. The death of a child
  • occasions a passion of grief and frantic tears, such as your end,
  • brother reader, will never inspire. The death of an infant which
  • scarce knew you, which a week's absence from you would have caused to
  • forget you, will strike you down more than the loss of your closest
  • friend, or your first-born son--a man grown like yourself, with
  • children of his own. We may be harsh and stern with Judah and
  • Simeon--our love and pity gush out for Benjamin, the little one. And if
  • you are old, as some reader of this may be or shall be old and rich, or
  • old and poor--you may one day be thinking for yourself--"These people
  • are very good round about me, but they won't grieve too much when I am
  • gone. I am very rich, and they want my inheritance--or very poor, and
  • they are tired of supporting me."
  • The period of mourning for Mrs. Sedley's death was only just concluded,
  • and Jos scarcely had had time to cast off his black and appear in the
  • splendid waistcoats which he loved, when it became evident to those
  • about Mr. Sedley that another event was at hand, and that the old man
  • was about to go seek for his wife in the dark land whither she had
  • preceded him. "The state of my father's health," Jos Sedley solemnly
  • remarked at the Club, "prevents me from giving any LARGE parties this
  • season: but if you will come in quietly at half-past six, Chutney, my
  • boy, and fake a homely dinner with one or two of the old set--I shall
  • be always glad to see you." So Jos and his acquaintances dined and
  • drank their claret among themselves in silence, whilst the sands of
  • life were running out in the old man's glass upstairs. The
  • velvet-footed butler brought them their wine, and they composed
  • themselves to a rubber after dinner, at which Major Dobbin would
  • sometimes come and take a hand; and Mrs. Osborne would occasionally
  • descend, when her patient above was settled for the night, and had
  • commenced one of those lightly troubled slumbers which visit the pillow
  • of old age.
  • The old man clung to his daughter during this sickness. He would take
  • his broths and medicines from scarcely any other hand. To tend him
  • became almost the sole business of her life. Her bed was placed close
  • by the door which opened into his chamber, and she was alive at the
  • slightest noise or disturbance from the couch of the querulous invalid.
  • Though, to do him justice, he lay awake many an hour, silent and
  • without stirring, unwilling to awaken his kind and vigilant nurse.
  • He loved his daughter with more fondness now, perhaps, than ever he had
  • done since the days of her childhood. In the discharge of gentle
  • offices and kind filial duties, this simple creature shone most
  • especially. "She walks into the room as silently as a sunbeam," Mr.
  • Dobbin thought as he saw her passing in and out from her father's room,
  • a cheerful sweetness lighting up her face as she moved to and fro,
  • graceful and noiseless. When women are brooding over their children,
  • or busied in a sick-room, who has not seen in their faces those sweet
  • angelic beams of love and pity?
  • A secret feud of some years' standing was thus healed, and with a tacit
  • reconciliation. In these last hours, and touched by her love and
  • goodness, the old man forgot all his grief against her, and wrongs
  • which he and his wife had many a long night debated: how she had given
  • up everything for her boy; how she was careless of her parents in their
  • old age and misfortune, and only thought of the child; how absurdly and
  • foolishly, impiously indeed, she took on when George was removed from
  • her. Old Sedley forgot these charges as he was making up his last
  • account, and did justice to the gentle and uncomplaining little martyr.
  • One night when she stole into his room, she found him awake, when the
  • broken old man made his confession. "Oh, Emmy, I've been thinking we
  • were very unkind and unjust to you," he said and put out his cold and
  • feeble hand to her. She knelt down and prayed by his bedside, as he did
  • too, having still hold of her hand. When our turn comes, friend, may
  • we have such company in our prayers!
  • Perhaps as he was lying awake then, his life may have passed before
  • him--his early hopeful struggles, his manly successes and prosperity,
  • his downfall in his declining years, and his present helpless
  • condition--no chance of revenge against Fortune, which had had the
  • better of him--neither name nor money to bequeath--a spent-out,
  • bootless life of defeat and disappointment, and the end here! Which, I
  • wonder, brother reader, is the better lot, to die prosperous and
  • famous, or poor and disappointed? To have, and to be forced to yield;
  • or to sink out of life, having played and lost the game? That must be a
  • strange feeling, when a day of our life comes and we say, "To-morrow,
  • success or failure won't matter much, and the sun will rise, and all
  • the myriads of mankind go to their work or their pleasure as usual, but
  • I shall be out of the turmoil."
  • So there came one morning and sunrise when all the world got up and set
  • about its various works and pleasures, with the exception of old John
  • Sedley, who was not to fight with fortune, or to hope or scheme any
  • more, but to go and take up a quiet and utterly unknown residence in a
  • churchyard at Brompton by the side of his old wife.
  • Major Dobbin, Jos, and Georgy followed his remains to the grave, in a
  • black cloth coach. Jos came on purpose from the Star and Garter at
  • Richmond, whither he retreated after the deplorable event. He did not
  • care to remain in the house, with the--under the circumstances, you
  • understand. But Emmy stayed and did her duty as usual. She was bowed
  • down by no especial grief, and rather solemn than sorrowful. She
  • prayed that her own end might be as calm and painless, and thought with
  • trust and reverence of the words which she had heard from her father
  • during his illness, indicative of his faith, his resignation, and his
  • future hope.
  • Yes, I think that will be the better ending of the two, after all.
  • Suppose you are particularly rich and well-to-do and say on that last
  • day, "I am very rich; I am tolerably well known; I have lived all my
  • life in the best society, and thank Heaven, come of a most respectable
  • family. I have served my King and country with honour. I was in
  • Parliament for several years, where, I may say, my speeches were
  • listened to and pretty well received. I don't owe any man a shilling:
  • on the contrary, I lent my old college friend, Jack Lazarus, fifty
  • pounds, for which my executors will not press him. I leave my
  • daughters with ten thousand pounds apiece--very good portions for
  • girls; I bequeath my plate and furniture, my house in Baker Street,
  • with a handsome jointure, to my widow for her life; and my landed
  • property, besides money in the funds, and my cellar of well-selected
  • wine in Baker Street, to my son. I leave twenty pound a year to my
  • valet; and I defy any man after I have gone to find anything against my
  • character." Or suppose, on the other hand, your swan sings quite a
  • different sort of dirge and you say, "I am a poor blighted,
  • disappointed old fellow, and have made an utter failure through life.
  • I was not endowed either with brains or with good fortune, and confess
  • that I have committed a hundred mistakes and blunders. I own to having
  • forgotten my duty many a time. I can't pay what I owe. On my last bed
  • I lie utterly helpless and humble, and I pray forgiveness for my
  • weakness and throw myself, with a contrite heart, at the feet of the
  • Divine Mercy." Which of these two speeches, think you, would be the
  • best oration for your own funeral? Old Sedley made the last; and in
  • that humble frame of mind, and holding by the hand of his daughter,
  • life and disappointment and vanity sank away from under him.
  • "You see," said old Osborne to George, "what comes of merit, and
  • industry, and judicious speculations, and that. Look at me and my
  • banker's account. Look at your poor Grandfather Sedley and his
  • failure. And yet he was a better man than I was, this day twenty
  • years--a better man, I should say, by ten thousand pound."
  • Beyond these people and Mr. Clapp's family, who came over from Brompton
  • to pay a visit of condolence, not a single soul alive ever cared a
  • penny piece about old John Sedley, or remembered the existence of such
  • a person.
  • When old Osborne first heard from his friend Colonel Buckler (as little
  • Georgy had already informed us) how distinguished an officer Major
  • Dobbin was, he exhibited a great deal of scornful incredulity and
  • expressed his surprise how ever such a feller as that should possess
  • either brains or reputation. But he heard of the Major's fame from
  • various members of his society. Sir William Dobbin had a great opinion
  • of his son and narrated many stories illustrative of the Major's
  • learning, valour, and estimation in the world's opinion. Finally, his
  • name appeared in the lists of one or two great parties of the nobility,
  • and this circumstance had a prodigious effect upon the old aristocrat
  • of Russell Square.
  • The Major's position, as guardian to Georgy, whose possession had been
  • ceded to his grandfather, rendered some meetings between the two
  • gentlemen inevitable; and it was in one of these that old Osborne, a
  • keen man of business, looking into the Major's accounts with his ward
  • and the boy's mother, got a hint, which staggered him very much, and at
  • once pained and pleased him, that it was out of William Dobbin's own
  • pocket that a part of the fund had been supplied upon which the poor
  • widow and the child had subsisted.
  • When pressed upon the point, Dobbin, who could not tell lies, blushed
  • and stammered a good deal and finally confessed. "The marriage," he
  • said (at which his interlocutor's face grew dark) "was very much my
  • doing. I thought my poor friend had gone so far that retreat from his
  • engagement would have been dishonour to him and death to Mrs. Osborne,
  • and I could do no less, when she was left without resources, than give
  • what money I could spare to maintain her."
  • "Major D.," Mr. Osborne said, looking hard at him and turning very red
  • too--"you did me a great injury; but give me leave to tell you, sir,
  • you are an honest feller. There's my hand, sir, though I little thought
  • that my flesh and blood was living on you--" and the pair shook hands,
  • with great confusion on Major Dobbin's part, thus found out in his act
  • of charitable hypocrisy.
  • He strove to soften the old man and reconcile him towards his son's
  • memory. "He was such a noble fellow," he said, "that all of us loved
  • him, and would have done anything for him. I, as a young man in those
  • days, was flattered beyond measure by his preference for me, and was
  • more pleased to be seen in his company than in that of the
  • Commander-in-Chief. I never saw his equal for pluck and daring and all
  • the qualities of a soldier"; and Dobbin told the old father as many
  • stories as he could remember regarding the gallantry and achievements
  • of his son. "And Georgy is so like him," the Major added.
  • "He's so like him that he makes me tremble sometimes," the grandfather
  • said.
  • On one or two evenings the Major came to dine with Mr. Osborne (it was
  • during the time of the sickness of Mr. Sedley), and as the two sat
  • together in the evening after dinner, all their talk was about the
  • departed hero. The father boasted about him according to his wont,
  • glorifying himself in recounting his son's feats and gallantry, but his
  • mood was at any rate better and more charitable than that in which he
  • had been disposed until now to regard the poor fellow; and the
  • Christian heart of the kind Major was pleased at these symptoms of
  • returning peace and good-will. On the second evening old Osborne
  • called Dobbin William, just as he used to do at the time when Dobbin
  • and George were boys together, and the honest gentleman was pleased by
  • that mark of reconciliation.
  • On the next day at breakfast, when Miss Osborne, with the asperity of
  • her age and character, ventured to make some remark reflecting
  • slightingly upon the Major's appearance or behaviour--the master of the
  • house interrupted her. "You'd have been glad enough to git him for
  • yourself, Miss O. But them grapes are sour. Ha! ha! Major William is
  • a fine feller."
  • "That he is, Grandpapa," said Georgy approvingly; and going up close to
  • the old gentleman, he took a hold of his large grey whiskers, and
  • laughed in his face good-humouredly, and kissed him. And he told the
  • story at night to his mother, who fully agreed with the boy. "Indeed he
  • is," she said. "Your dear father always said so. He is one of the best
  • and most upright of men." Dobbin happened to drop in very soon after
  • this conversation, which made Amelia blush perhaps, and the young
  • scapegrace increased the confusion by telling Dobbin the other part of
  • the story. "I say, Dob," he said, "there's such an uncommon nice girl
  • wants to marry you. She's plenty of tin; she wears a front; and she
  • scolds the servants from morning till night." "Who is it?" asked
  • Dobbin. "It's Aunt O.," the boy answered. "Grandpapa said so. And I
  • say, Dob, how prime it would be to have you for my uncle." Old Sedley's
  • quavering voice from the next room at this moment weakly called for
  • Amelia, and the laughing ended.
  • That old Osborne's mind was changing was pretty clear. He asked George
  • about his uncle sometimes, and laughed at the boy's imitation of the
  • way in which Jos said "God-bless-my-soul" and gobbled his soup. Then
  • he said, "It's not respectful, sir, of you younkers to be imitating of
  • your relations. Miss O., when you go out adriving to-day, leave my
  • card upon Mr. Sedley, do you hear? There's no quarrel betwigst me and
  • him anyhow."
  • The card was returned, and Jos and the Major were asked to dinner--to
  • a dinner the most splendid and stupid that perhaps ever Mr. Osborne
  • gave; every inch of the family plate was exhibited, and the best
  • company was asked. Mr. Sedley took down Miss O. to dinner, and she
  • was very gracious to him; whereas she hardly spoke to the Major, who
  • sat apart from her, and by the side of Mr. Osborne, very timid. Jos
  • said, with great solemnity, it was the best turtle soup he had ever
  • tasted in his life, and asked Mr. Osborne where he got his Madeira.
  • "It is some of Sedley's wine," whispered the butler to his master.
  • "I've had it a long time, and paid a good figure for it, too," Mr.
  • Osborne said aloud to his guest, and then whispered to his right-hand
  • neighbour how he had got it "at the old chap's sale."
  • More than once he asked the Major about--about Mrs. George Osborne--a
  • theme on which the Major could be very eloquent when he chose. He told
  • Mr. Osborne of her sufferings--of her passionate attachment to her
  • husband, whose memory she worshipped still--of the tender and dutiful
  • manner in which she had supported her parents, and given up her boy,
  • when it seemed to her her duty to do so. "You don't know what she
  • endured, sir," said honest Dobbin with a tremor in his voice, "and I
  • hope and trust you will be reconciled to her. If she took your son
  • away from you, she gave hers to you; and however much you loved your
  • George, depend on it, she loved hers ten times more."
  • "By God, you are a good feller, sir," was all Mr. Osborne said. It had
  • never struck him that the widow would feel any pain at parting from the
  • boy, or that his having a fine fortune could grieve her. A
  • reconciliation was announced as speedy and inevitable, and Amelia's
  • heart already began to beat at the notion of the awful meeting with
  • George's father.
  • It was never, however, destined to take place. Old Sedley's lingering
  • illness and death supervened, after which a meeting was for some time
  • impossible. That catastrophe and other events may have worked upon Mr.
  • Osborne. He was much shaken of late, and aged, and his mind was
  • working inwardly. He had sent for his lawyers, and probably changed
  • something in his will. The medical man who looked in pronounced him
  • shaky, agitated, and talked of a little blood and the seaside; but he
  • took neither of these remedies.
  • One day when he should have come down to breakfast, his servant missing
  • him, went into his dressing-room and found him lying at the foot of the
  • dressing-table in a fit. Miss Osborne was apprised; the doctors were
  • sent for; Georgy stopped away from school; the bleeders and cuppers
  • came. Osborne partially regained cognizance, but never could speak
  • again, though he tried dreadfully once or twice, and in four days he
  • died. The doctors went down, and the undertaker's men went up the
  • stairs, and all the shutters were shut towards the garden in Russell
  • Square. Bullock rushed from the City in a hurry. "How much money had
  • he left to that boy? Not half, surely? Surely share and share alike
  • between the three?" It was an agitating moment.
  • What was it that poor old man tried once or twice in vain to say? I
  • hope it was that he wanted to see Amelia and be reconciled before he
  • left the world to one dear and faithful wife of his son: it was most
  • likely that, for his will showed that the hatred which he had so long
  • cherished had gone out of his heart.
  • They found in the pocket of his dressing-gown the letter with the great
  • red seal which George had written him from Waterloo. He had looked at
  • the other papers too, relative to his son, for the key of the box in
  • which he kept them was also in his pocket, and it was found the seals
  • and envelopes had been broken--very likely on the night before the
  • seizure--when the butler had taken him tea into his study, and found
  • him reading in the great red family Bible.
  • When the will was opened, it was found that half the property was left
  • to George, and the remainder between the two sisters. Mr. Bullock to
  • continue, for their joint benefit, the affairs of the commercial house,
  • or to go out, as he thought fit. An annuity of five hundred pounds,
  • chargeable on George's property, was left to his mother, "the widow of
  • my beloved son, George Osborne," who was to resume the guardianship of
  • the boy.
  • "Major William Dobbin, my beloved son's friend," was appointed
  • executor; "and as out of his kindness and bounty, and with his own
  • private funds, he maintained my grandson and my son's widow, when they
  • were otherwise without means of support" (the testator went on to say)
  • "I hereby thank him heartily for his love and regard for them, and
  • beseech him to accept such a sum as may be sufficient to purchase his
  • commission as a Lieutenant-Colonel, or to be disposed of in any way he
  • may think fit."
  • When Amelia heard that her father-in-law was reconciled to her, her
  • heart melted, and she was grateful for the fortune left to her. But
  • when she heard how Georgy was restored to her, and knew how and by
  • whom, and how it was William's bounty that supported her in poverty,
  • how it was William who gave her her husband and her son--oh, then she
  • sank on her knees, and prayed for blessings on that constant and kind
  • heart; she bowed down and humbled herself, and kissed the feet, as it
  • were, of that beautiful and generous affection.
  • And gratitude was all that she had to pay back for such admirable
  • devotion and benefits--only gratitude! If she thought of any other
  • return, the image of George stood up out of the grave and said, "You
  • are mine, and mine only, now and forever."
  • William knew her feelings: had he not passed his whole life in
  • divining them?
  • When the nature of Mr. Osborne's will became known to the world, it was
  • edifying to remark how Mrs. George Osborne rose in the estimation of
  • the people forming her circle of acquaintance. The servants of Jos's
  • establishment, who used to question her humble orders and say they
  • would "ask Master" whether or not they could obey, never thought now of
  • that sort of appeal. The cook forgot to sneer at her shabby old gowns
  • (which, indeed, were quite eclipsed by that lady's finery when she was
  • dressed to go to church of a Sunday evening), the others no longer
  • grumbled at the sound of her bell, or delayed to answer that summons.
  • The coachman, who grumbled that his 'osses should be brought out and
  • his carriage made into an hospital for that old feller and Mrs. O.,
  • drove her with the utmost alacrity now, and trembling lest he should be
  • superseded by Mr. Osborne's coachman, asked "what them there Russell
  • Square coachmen knew about town, and whether they was fit to sit on a
  • box before a lady?" Jos's friends, male and female, suddenly became
  • interested about Emmy, and cards of condolence multiplied on her hall
  • table. Jos himself, who had looked on her as a good-natured harmless
  • pauper, to whom it was his duty to give victuals and shelter, paid her
  • and the rich little boy, his nephew, the greatest respect--was anxious
  • that she should have change and amusement after her troubles and
  • trials, "poor dear girl"--and began to appear at the breakfast-table,
  • and most particularly to ask how she would like to dispose of the day.
  • In her capacity of guardian to Georgy, she, with the consent of the
  • Major, her fellow-trustee, begged Miss Osborne to live in the Russell
  • Square house as long as ever she chose to dwell there; but that lady,
  • with thanks, declared that she never could think of remaining alone in
  • that melancholy mansion, and departed in deep mourning to Cheltenham,
  • with a couple of her old domestics. The rest were liberally paid and
  • dismissed, the faithful old butler, whom Mrs. Osborne proposed to
  • retain, resigning and preferring to invest his savings in a
  • public-house, where, let us hope, he was not unprosperous. Miss Osborne
  • not choosing to live in Russell Square, Mrs. Osborne also, after
  • consultation, declined to occupy the gloomy old mansion there. The
  • house was dismantled; the rich furniture and effects, the awful
  • chandeliers and dreary blank mirrors packed away and hidden, the rich
  • rosewood drawing-room suite was muffled in straw, the carpets were
  • rolled up and corded, the small select library of well-bound books was
  • stowed into two wine-chests, and the whole paraphernalia rolled away in
  • several enormous vans to the Pantechnicon, where they were to lie until
  • Georgy's majority. And the great heavy dark plate-chests went off to
  • Messrs. Stumpy and Rowdy, to lie in the cellars of those eminent
  • bankers until the same period should arrive.
  • One day Emmy, with George in her hand and clad in deep sables, went to
  • visit the deserted mansion which she had not entered since she was a
  • girl. The place in front was littered with straw where the vans had
  • been laden and rolled off. They went into the great blank rooms, the
  • walls of which bore the marks where the pictures and mirrors had hung.
  • Then they went up the great blank stone staircases into the upper
  • rooms, into that where grandpapa died, as George said in a whisper, and
  • then higher still into George's own room. The boy was still clinging
  • by her side, but she thought of another besides him. She knew that it
  • had been his father's room as well as his own.
  • She went up to one of the open windows (one of those at which she used
  • to gaze with a sick heart when the child was first taken from her), and
  • thence as she looked out she could see, over the trees of Russell
  • Square, the old house in which she herself was born, and where she had
  • passed so many happy days of sacred youth. They all came back to her,
  • the pleasant holidays, the kind faces, the careless, joyful past times,
  • and the long pains and trials that had since cast her down. She thought
  • of these and of the man who had been her constant protector, her good
  • genius, her sole benefactor, her tender and generous friend.
  • "Look here, Mother," said Georgy, "here's a G.O. scratched on the glass
  • with a diamond, I never saw it before, I never did it."
  • "It was your father's room long before you were born, George," she
  • said, and she blushed as she kissed the boy.
  • She was very silent as they drove back to Richmond, where they had
  • taken a temporary house: where the smiling lawyers used to come
  • bustling over to see her (and we may be sure noted the visit in the
  • bill): and where of course there was a room for Major Dobbin too, who
  • rode over frequently, having much business to transact on behalf of his
  • little ward.
  • Georgy at this time was removed from Mr. Veal's on an unlimited
  • holiday, and that gentleman was engaged to prepare an inscription for a
  • fine marble slab, to be placed up in the Foundling under the monument
  • of Captain George Osborne.
  • The female Bullock, aunt of Georgy, although despoiled by that little
  • monster of one-half of the sum which she expected from her father,
  • nevertheless showed her charitableness of spirit by being reconciled to
  • the mother and the boy. Roehampton is not far from Richmond, and one
  • day the chariot, with the golden bullocks emblazoned on the panels, and
  • the flaccid children within, drove to Amelia's house at Richmond; and
  • the Bullock family made an irruption into the garden, where Amelia was
  • reading a book, Jos was in an arbour placidly dipping strawberries into
  • wine, and the Major in one of his Indian jackets was giving a back to
  • Georgy, who chose to jump over him. He went over his head and bounded
  • into the little advance of Bullocks, with immense black bows in their
  • hats, and huge black sashes, accompanying their mourning mamma.
  • "He is just of the age for Rosa," the fond parent thought, and glanced
  • towards that dear child, an unwholesome little miss of seven years of
  • age.
  • "Rosa, go and kiss your dear cousin," Mrs. Frederick said. "Don't you
  • know me, George? I am your aunt."
  • "I know you well enough," George said; "but I don't like kissing,
  • please"; and he retreated from the obedient caresses of his cousin.
  • "Take me to your dear mamma, you droll child," Mrs. Frederick said, and
  • those ladies accordingly met, after an absence of more than fifteen
  • years. During Emmy's cares and poverty the other had never once
  • thought about coming to see her, but now that she was decently
  • prosperous in the world, her sister-in-law came to her as a matter of
  • course.
  • So did numbers more. Our old friend, Miss Swartz, and her husband came
  • thundering over from Hampton Court, with flaming yellow liveries, and
  • was as impetuously fond of Amelia as ever. Miss Swartz would have
  • liked her always if she could have seen her. One must do her that
  • justice. But, que voulez vous?--in this vast town one has not the time
  • to go and seek one's friends; if they drop out of the rank they
  • disappear, and we march on without them. Who is ever missed in Vanity
  • Fair?
  • But so, in a word, and before the period of grief for Mr. Osborne's
  • death had subsided, Emmy found herself in the centre of a very genteel
  • circle indeed, the members of which could not conceive that anybody
  • belonging to it was not very lucky. There was scarce one of the ladies
  • that hadn't a relation a Peer, though the husband might be a drysalter
  • in the City. Some of the ladies were very blue and well informed,
  • reading Mrs. Somerville and frequenting the Royal Institution; others
  • were severe and Evangelical, and held by Exeter Hall. Emmy, it must be
  • owned, found herself entirely at a loss in the midst of their clavers,
  • and suffered woefully on the one or two occasions on which she was
  • compelled to accept Mrs. Frederick Bullock's hospitalities. That lady
  • persisted in patronizing her and determined most graciously to form
  • her. She found Amelia's milliners for her and regulated her household
  • and her manners. She drove over constantly from Roehampton and
  • entertained her friend with faint fashionable fiddle-faddle and feeble
  • Court slip-slop. Jos liked to hear it, but the Major used to go off
  • growling at the appearance of this woman, with her twopenny gentility.
  • He went to sleep under Frederick Bullock's bald head, after dinner, at
  • one of the banker's best parties (Fred was still anxious that the
  • balance of the Osborne property should be transferred from Stumpy and
  • Rowdy's to them), and whilst Amelia, who did not know Latin, or who
  • wrote the last crack article in the Edinburgh, and did not in the least
  • deplore, or otherwise, Mr. Peel's late extraordinary tergiversation on
  • the fatal Catholic Relief Bill, sat dumb amongst the ladies in the
  • grand drawing-room, looking out upon velvet lawns, trim gravel walks,
  • and glistening hot-houses.
  • "She seems good-natured but insipid," said Mrs. Rowdy; "that Major
  • seems to be particularly epris."
  • "She wants ton sadly," said Mrs. Hollyock. "My dear creature, you
  • never will be able to form her."
  • "She is dreadfully ignorant or indifferent," said Mrs. Glowry with a
  • voice as if from the grave, and a sad shake of the head and turban. "I
  • asked her if she thought that it was in 1836, according to Mr. Jowls,
  • or in 1839, according to Mr. Wapshot, that the Pope was to fall: and
  • she said--'Poor Pope! I hope not--What has he done?'"
  • "She is my brother's widow, my dear friends," Mrs. Frederick replied,
  • "and as such I think we're all bound to give her every attention and
  • instruction on entering into the world. You may fancy there can be no
  • MERCENARY motives in those whose DISAPPOINTMENTS are well known."
  • "That poor dear Mrs. Bullock," said Rowdy to Hollyock, as they drove
  • away together--"she is always scheming and managing. She wants Mrs.
  • Osborne's account to be taken from our house to hers--and the way in
  • which she coaxes that boy and makes him sit by that blear-eyed little
  • Rosa is perfectly ridiculous."
  • "I wish Glowry was choked with her Man of Sin and her Battle of
  • Armageddon," cried the other, and the carriage rolled away over Putney
  • Bridge.
  • But this sort of society was too cruelly genteel for Emmy, and all
  • jumped for joy when a foreign tour was proposed.
  • CHAPTER LXII
  • Am Rhein
  • The above everyday events had occurred, and a few weeks had passed,
  • when on one fine morning, Parliament being over, the summer advanced,
  • and all the good company in London about to quit that city for their
  • annual tour in search of pleasure or health, the Batavier steamboat
  • left the Tower-stairs laden with a goodly company of English fugitives.
  • The quarter-deck awnings were up, and the benches and gangways crowded
  • with scores of rosy children, bustling nursemaids; ladies in the
  • prettiest pink bonnets and summer dresses; gentlemen in travelling caps
  • and linen-jackets, whose mustachios had just begun to sprout for the
  • ensuing tour; and stout trim old veterans with starched neckcloths and
  • neat-brushed hats, such as have invaded Europe any time since the
  • conclusion of the war, and carry the national Goddem into every city of
  • the Continent. The congregation of hat-boxes, and Bramah desks, and
  • dressing-cases was prodigious. There were jaunty young Cambridge-men
  • travelling with their tutor, and going for a reading excursion to
  • Nonnenwerth or Konigswinter; there were Irish gentlemen, with the most
  • dashing whiskers and jewellery, talking about horses incessantly, and
  • prodigiously polite to the young ladies on board, whom, on the
  • contrary, the Cambridge lads and their pale-faced tutor avoided with
  • maiden coyness; there were old Pall Mall loungers bound for Ems and
  • Wiesbaden and a course of waters to clear off the dinners of the
  • season, and a little roulette and trente-et-quarante to keep the
  • excitement going; there was old Methuselah, who had married his young
  • wife, with Captain Papillon of the Guards holding her parasol and
  • guide-books; there was young May who was carrying off his bride on a
  • pleasure tour (Mrs. Winter that was, and who had been at school with
  • May's grandmother); there was Sir John and my Lady with a dozen
  • children, and corresponding nursemaids; and the great grandee Bareacres
  • family that sat by themselves near the wheel, stared at everybody, and
  • spoke to no one. Their carriages, emblazoned with coronets and heaped
  • with shining imperials, were on the foredeck, locked in with a dozen
  • more such vehicles: it was difficult to pass in and out amongst them;
  • and the poor inmates of the fore-cabin had scarcely any space for
  • locomotion. These consisted of a few magnificently attired gentlemen
  • from Houndsditch, who brought their own provisions, and could have
  • bought half the gay people in the grand saloon; a few honest fellows
  • with mustachios and portfolios, who set to sketching before they had
  • been half an hour on board; one or two French femmes de chambre who
  • began to be dreadfully ill by the time the boat had passed Greenwich; a
  • groom or two who lounged in the neighbourhood of the horse-boxes under
  • their charge, or leaned over the side by the paddle-wheels, and talked
  • about who was good for the Leger, and what they stood to win or lose
  • for the Goodwood cup.
  • All the couriers, when they had done plunging about the ship and had
  • settled their various masters in the cabins or on the deck, congregated
  • together and began to chatter and smoke; the Hebrew gentlemen joining
  • them and looking at the carriages. There was Sir John's great carriage
  • that would hold thirteen people; my Lord Methuselah's carriage, my Lord
  • Bareacres' chariot, britzska, and fourgon, that anybody might pay for
  • who liked. It was a wonder how my Lord got the ready money to pay for
  • the expenses of the journey. The Hebrew gentlemen knew how he got it.
  • They knew what money his Lordship had in his pocket at that instant,
  • and what interest he paid for it, and who gave it him. Finally there
  • was a very neat, handsome travelling carriage, about which the
  • gentlemen speculated.
  • "A qui cette voiture la?" said one gentleman-courier with a large
  • morocco money-bag and ear-rings to another with ear-rings and a large
  • morocco money-bag.
  • "C'est a Kirsch je bense--je l'ai vu toute a l'heure--qui brenoit des
  • sangviches dans la voiture," said the courier in a fine German French.
  • Kirsch emerging presently from the neighbourhood of the hold, where he
  • had been bellowing instructions intermingled with polyglot oaths to the
  • ship's men engaged in secreting the passengers' luggage, came to give
  • an account of himself to his brother interpreters. He informed them
  • that the carriage belonged to a Nabob from Calcutta and Jamaica
  • enormously rich, and with whom he was engaged to travel; and at this
  • moment a young gentleman who had been warned off the bridge between the
  • paddle-boxes, and who had dropped thence on to the roof of Lord
  • Methuselah's carriage, from which he made his way over other carriages
  • and imperials until he had clambered on to his own, descended thence
  • and through the window into the body of the carriage, to the applause
  • of the couriers looking on.
  • "Nous allons avoir une belle traversee, Monsieur George," said the
  • courier with a grin, as he lifted his gold-laced cap.
  • "D---- your French," said the young gentleman, "where's the biscuits,
  • ay?" Whereupon Kirsch answered him in the English language or in such
  • an imitation of it as he could command--for though he was familiar with
  • all languages, Mr. Kirsch was not acquainted with a single one, and
  • spoke all with indifferent volubility and incorrectness.
  • The imperious young gentleman who gobbled the biscuits (and indeed it
  • was time to refresh himself, for he had breakfasted at Richmond full
  • three hours before) was our young friend George Osborne. Uncle Jos and
  • his mamma were on the quarter-deck with a gentleman of whom they used
  • to see a good deal, and the four were about to make a summer tour.
  • Jos was seated at that moment on deck under the awning, and pretty
  • nearly opposite to the Earl of Bareacres and his family, whose
  • proceedings absorbed the Bengalee almost entirely. Both the noble
  • couple looked rather younger than in the eventful year '15, when Jos
  • remembered to have seen them at Brussels (indeed, he always gave out in
  • India that he was intimately acquainted with them). Lady Bareacres'
  • hair, which was then dark, was now a beautiful golden auburn, whereas
  • Lord Bareacres' whiskers, formerly red, were at present of a rich black
  • with purple and green reflections in the light. But changed as they
  • were, the movements of the noble pair occupied Jos's mind entirely.
  • The presence of a Lord fascinated him, and he could look at nothing
  • else.
  • "Those people seem to interest you a good deal," said Dobbin, laughing
  • and watching him. Amelia too laughed. She was in a straw bonnet with
  • black ribbons, and otherwise dressed in mourning, but the little bustle
  • and holiday of the journey pleased and excited her, and she looked
  • particularly happy.
  • "What a heavenly day!" Emmy said and added, with great originality, "I
  • hope we shall have a calm passage."
  • Jos waved his hand, scornfully glancing at the same time under his
  • eyelids at the great folks opposite. "If you had made the voyages we
  • have," he said, "you wouldn't much care about the weather." But
  • nevertheless, traveller as he was, he passed the night direfully sick
  • in his carriage, where his courier tended him with brandy-and-water
  • and every luxury.
  • In due time this happy party landed at the quays of Rotterdam, whence
  • they were transported by another steamer to the city of Cologne. Here
  • the carriage and the family took to the shore, and Jos was not a little
  • gratified to see his arrival announced in the Cologne newspapers as
  • "Herr Graf Lord von Sedley nebst Begleitung aus London." He had his
  • court dress with him; he had insisted that Dobbin should bring his
  • regimental paraphernalia; he announced that it was his intention to be
  • presented at some foreign courts, and pay his respects to the
  • Sovereigns of the countries which he honoured with a visit.
  • Wherever the party stopped, and an opportunity was offered, Mr. Jos
  • left his own card and the Major's upon "Our Minister." It was with
  • great difficulty that he could be restrained from putting on his cocked
  • hat and tights to wait upon the English consul at the Free City of
  • Judenstadt, when that hospitable functionary asked our travellers to
  • dinner. He kept a journal of his voyage and noted elaborately the
  • defects or excellences of the various inns at which he put up, and of
  • the wines and dishes of which he partook.
  • As for Emmy, she was very happy and pleased. Dobbin used to carry
  • about for her her stool and sketch-book, and admired the drawings of
  • the good-natured little artist as they never had been admired before.
  • She sat upon steamers' decks and drew crags and castles, or she mounted
  • upon donkeys and ascended to ancient robber-towers, attended by her two
  • aides-de-camp, Georgy and Dobbin. She laughed, and the Major did too,
  • at his droll figure on donkey-back, with his long legs touching the
  • ground. He was the interpreter for the party; having a good military
  • knowledge of the German language, and he and the delighted George
  • fought the campaigns of the Rhine and the Palatinate. In the course of
  • a few weeks, and by assiduously conversing with Herr Kirsch on the box
  • of the carriage, Georgy made prodigious advance in the knowledge of
  • High Dutch, and could talk to hotel waiters and postilions in a way
  • that charmed his mother and amused his guardian.
  • Mr. Jos did not much engage in the afternoon excursions of his
  • fellow-travellers. He slept a good deal after dinner, or basked in the
  • arbours of the pleasant inn-gardens. Pleasant Rhine gardens! Fair
  • scenes of peace and sunshine--noble purple mountains, whose crests are
  • reflected in the magnificent stream--who has ever seen you that has not
  • a grateful memory of those scenes of friendly repose and beauty? To lay
  • down the pen and even to think of that beautiful Rhineland makes one
  • happy. At this time of summer evening, the cows are trooping down from
  • the hills, lowing and with their bells tinkling, to the old town, with
  • its old moats, and gates, and spires, and chestnut-trees, with long
  • blue shadows stretching over the grass; the sky and the river below
  • flame in crimson and gold; and the moon is already out, looking pale
  • towards the sunset. The sun sinks behind the great castle-crested
  • mountains, the night falls suddenly, the river grows darker and darker,
  • lights quiver in it from the windows in the old ramparts, and twinkle
  • peacefully in the villages under the hills on the opposite shore.
  • So Jos used to go to sleep a good deal with his bandanna over his face
  • and be very comfortable, and read all the English news, and every word
  • of Galignani's admirable newspaper (may the blessings of all Englishmen
  • who have ever been abroad rest on the founders and proprietors of that
  • piratical print! ) and whether he woke or slept, his friends did not
  • very much miss him. Yes, they were very happy. They went to the opera
  • often of evenings--to those snug, unassuming, dear old operas in the
  • German towns, where the noblesse sits and cries, and knits stockings on
  • the one side, over against the bourgeoisie on the other; and His
  • Transparency the Duke and his Transparent family, all very fat and
  • good-natured, come and occupy the great box in the middle; and the pit
  • is full of the most elegant slim-waisted officers with straw-coloured
  • mustachios, and twopence a day on full pay. Here it was that Emmy found
  • her delight, and was introduced for the first time to the wonders of
  • Mozart and Cimarosa. The Major's musical taste has been before alluded
  • to, and his performances on the flute commended. But perhaps the chief
  • pleasure he had in these operas was in watching Emmy's rapture while
  • listening to them. A new world of love and beauty broke upon her when
  • she was introduced to those divine compositions; this lady had the
  • keenest and finest sensibility, and how could she be indifferent when
  • she heard Mozart? The tender parts of "Don Juan" awakened in her
  • raptures so exquisite that she would ask herself when she went to say
  • her prayers of a night whether it was not wicked to feel so much
  • delight as that with which "Vedrai Carino" and "Batti Batti" filled her
  • gentle little bosom? But the Major, whom she consulted upon this head,
  • as her theological adviser (and who himself had a pious and reverent
  • soul), said that for his part, every beauty of art or nature made him
  • thankful as well as happy, and that the pleasure to be had in listening
  • to fine music, as in looking at the stars in the sky, or at a beautiful
  • landscape or picture, was a benefit for which we might thank Heaven as
  • sincerely as for any other worldly blessing. And in reply to some
  • faint objections of Mrs. Amelia's (taken from certain theological works
  • like the Washerwoman of Finchley Common and others of that school, with
  • which Mrs. Osborne had been furnished during her life at Brompton) he
  • told her an Eastern fable of the Owl who thought that the sunshine was
  • unbearable for the eyes and that the Nightingale was a most overrated
  • bird. "It is one's nature to sing and the other's to hoot," he said,
  • laughing, "and with such a sweet voice as you have yourself, you must
  • belong to the Bulbul faction."
  • I like to dwell upon this period of her life and to think that she was
  • cheerful and happy. You see, she has not had too much of that sort of
  • existence as yet, and has not fallen in the way of means to educate her
  • tastes or her intelligence. She has been domineered over hitherto by
  • vulgar intellects. It is the lot of many a woman. And as every one of
  • the dear sex is the rival of the rest of her kind, timidity passes for
  • folly in their charitable judgments; and gentleness for dulness; and
  • silence--which is but timid denial of the unwelcome assertion of ruling
  • folks, and tacit protestantism--above all, finds no mercy at the hands
  • of the female Inquisition. Thus, my dear and civilized reader, if you
  • and I were to find ourselves this evening in a society of greengrocers,
  • let us say, it is probable that our conversation would not be
  • brilliant; if, on the other hand, a greengrocer should find himself at
  • your refined and polite tea-table, where everybody was saying witty
  • things, and everybody of fashion and repute tearing her friends to
  • pieces in the most delightful manner, it is possible that the stranger
  • would not be very talkative and by no means interesting or interested.
  • And it must be remembered that this poor lady had never met a gentleman
  • in her life until this present moment. Perhaps these are rarer
  • personages than some of us think for. Which of us can point out many
  • such in his circle--men whose aims are generous, whose truth is
  • constant, and not only constant in its kind but elevated in its degree;
  • whose want of meanness makes them simple; who can look the world
  • honestly in the face with an equal manly sympathy for the great and the
  • small? We all know a hundred whose coats are very well made, and a
  • score who have excellent manners, and one or two happy beings who are
  • what they call in the inner circles, and have shot into the very centre
  • and bull's-eye of the fashion; but of gentlemen how many? Let us take a
  • little scrap of paper and each make out his list.
  • My friend the Major I write, without any doubt, in mine. He had very
  • long legs, a yellow face, and a slight lisp, which at first was rather
  • ridiculous. But his thoughts were just, his brains were fairly good,
  • his life was honest and pure, and his heart warm and humble. He
  • certainly had very large hands and feet, which the two George Osbornes
  • used to caricature and laugh at; and their jeers and laughter perhaps
  • led poor little Emmy astray as to his worth. But have we not all been
  • misled about our heroes and changed our opinions a hundred times? Emmy,
  • in this happy time, found that hers underwent a very great change in
  • respect of the merits of the Major.
  • Perhaps it was the happiest time of both their lives, indeed, if they
  • did but know it--and who does? Which of us can point out and say that
  • was the culmination--that was the summit of human joy? But at all
  • events, this couple were very decently contented, and enjoyed as
  • pleasant a summer tour as any pair that left England that year. Georgy
  • was always present at the play, but it was the Major who put Emmy's
  • shawl on after the entertainment; and in the walks and excursions the
  • young lad would be on ahead, and up a tower-stair or a tree, whilst the
  • soberer couple were below, the Major smoking his cigar with great
  • placidity and constancy, whilst Emmy sketched the site or the ruin. It
  • was on this very tour that I, the present writer of a history of which
  • every word is true, had the pleasure to see them first and to make
  • their acquaintance.
  • It was at the little comfortable Ducal town of Pumpernickel (that very
  • place where Sir Pitt Crawley had been so distinguished as an attache;
  • but that was in early early days, and before the news of the Battle of
  • Austerlitz sent all the English diplomatists in Germany to the right
  • about) that I first saw Colonel Dobbin and his party. They had arrived
  • with the carriage and courier at the Erbprinz Hotel, the best of the
  • town, and the whole party dined at the table d'hote. Everybody
  • remarked the majesty of Jos and the knowing way in which he sipped, or
  • rather sucked, the Johannisberger, which he ordered for dinner. The
  • little boy, too, we observed, had a famous appetite, and consumed
  • schinken, and braten, and kartoffeln, and cranberry jam, and salad, and
  • pudding, and roast fowls, and sweetmeats, with a gallantry that did
  • honour to his nation. After about fifteen dishes, he concluded the
  • repast with dessert, some of which he even carried out of doors, for
  • some young gentlemen at table, amused with his coolness and gallant
  • free-and-easy manner, induced him to pocket a handful of macaroons,
  • which he discussed on his way to the theatre, whither everybody went in
  • the cheery social little German place. The lady in black, the boy's
  • mamma, laughed and blushed, and looked exceedingly pleased and shy as
  • the dinner went on, and at the various feats and instances of
  • espieglerie on the part of her son. The Colonel--for so he became very
  • soon afterwards--I remember joked the boy with a great deal of grave
  • fun, pointing out dishes which he hadn't tried, and entreating him not
  • to baulk his appetite, but to have a second supply of this or that.
  • It was what they call a gast-rolle night at the Royal Grand Ducal
  • Pumpernickelisch Hof--or Court theatre--and Madame Schroeder Devrient,
  • then in the bloom of her beauty and genius, performed the part of the
  • heroine in the wonderful opera of Fidelio. From our places in the
  • stalls we could see our four friends of the table d'hote in the loge
  • which Schwendler of the Erbprinz kept for his best guests, and I could
  • not help remarking the effect which the magnificent actress and music
  • produced upon Mrs. Osborne, for so we heard the stout gentleman in the
  • mustachios call her. During the astonishing Chorus of the Prisoners,
  • over which the delightful voice of the actress rose and soared in the
  • most ravishing harmony, the English lady's face wore such an expression
  • of wonder and delight that it struck even little Fipps, the blase
  • attache, who drawled out, as he fixed his glass upon her, "Gayd, it
  • really does one good to see a woman caypable of that stayt of
  • excaytement." And in the Prison Scene, where Fidelio, rushing to her
  • husband, cries, "Nichts, nichts, mein Florestan," she fairly lost
  • herself and covered her face with her handkerchief. Every woman in the
  • house was snivelling at the time, but I suppose it was because it was
  • predestined that I was to write this particular lady's memoirs that I
  • remarked her.
  • The next day they gave another piece of Beethoven, Die Schlacht bei
  • Vittoria. Malbrook is introduced at the beginning of the performance,
  • as indicative of the brisk advance of the French army. Then come drums,
  • trumpets, thunders of artillery, and groans of the dying, and at last,
  • in a grand triumphal swell, "God Save the King" is performed.
  • There may have been a score of Englishmen in the house, but at the
  • burst of that beloved and well-known music, every one of them, we young
  • fellows in the stalls, Sir John and Lady Bullminster (who had taken a
  • house at Pumpernickel for the education of their nine children), the
  • fat gentleman with the mustachios, the long Major in white duck
  • trousers, and the lady with the little boy upon whom he was so sweet,
  • even Kirsch, the courier in the gallery, stood bolt upright in their
  • places and proclaimed themselves to be members of the dear old British
  • nation. As for Tapeworm, the Charge d'Affaires, he rose up in his box
  • and bowed and simpered, as if he would represent the whole empire.
  • Tapeworm was nephew and heir of old Marshal Tiptoff, who has been
  • introduced in this story as General Tiptoff, just before Waterloo, who
  • was Colonel of the --th regiment in which Major Dobbin served, and who
  • died in this year full of honours, and of an aspic of plovers' eggs;
  • when the regiment was graciously given by his Majesty to Colonel Sir
  • Michael O'Dowd, K.C.B. who had commanded it in many glorious fields.
  • Tapeworm must have met with Colonel Dobbin at the house of the
  • Colonel's Colonel, the Marshal, for he recognized him on this night at
  • the theatre, and with the utmost condescension, his Majesty's minister
  • came over from his own box and publicly shook hands with his new-found
  • friend.
  • "Look at that infernal sly-boots of a Tapeworm," Fipps whispered,
  • examining his chief from the stalls. "Wherever there's a pretty woman
  • he always twists himself in." And I wonder what were diplomatists made
  • for but for that?
  • "Have I the honour of addressing myself to Mrs. Dobbin?" asked the
  • Secretary with a most insinuating grin.
  • Georgy burst out laughing and said, "By Jove, that was a good 'un."
  • Emmy and the Major blushed: we saw them from the stalls.
  • "This lady is Mrs. George Osborne," said the Major, "and this is her
  • brother, Mr. Sedley, a distinguished officer of the Bengal Civil
  • Service: permit me to introduce him to your lordship."
  • My lord nearly sent Jos off his legs with the most fascinating smile.
  • "Are you going to stop in Pumpernickel?" he said. "It is a dull place,
  • but we want some nice people, and we would try and make it SO agreeable
  • to you. Mr.--Ahum--Mrs.--Oho. I shall do myself the honour of calling
  • upon you to-morrow at your inn." And he went away with a Parthian grin
  • and glance which he thought must finish Mrs. Osborne completely.
  • The performance over, the young fellows lounged about the lobbies, and
  • we saw the society take its departure. The Duchess Dowager went off in
  • her jingling old coach, attended by two faithful and withered old maids
  • of honour, and a little snuffy spindle-shanked gentleman in waiting, in
  • a brown jasey and a green coat covered with orders--of which the star
  • and the grand yellow cordon of the order of St. Michael of Pumpernickel
  • were most conspicuous. The drums rolled, the guards saluted, and the
  • old carriage drove away.
  • Then came his Transparency the Duke and Transparent family, with his
  • great officers of state and household. He bowed serenely to everybody.
  • And amid the saluting of the guards and the flaring of the torches of
  • the running footmen, clad in scarlet, the Transparent carriages drove
  • away to the old Ducal schloss, with its towers and pinacles standing on
  • the schlossberg. Everybody in Pumpernickel knew everybody. No sooner
  • was a foreigner seen there than the Minister of Foreign Affairs, or
  • some other great or small officer of state, went round to the Erbprinz
  • and found out the name of the new arrival.
  • We watched them, too, out of the theatre. Tapeworm had just walked
  • off, enveloped in his cloak, with which his gigantic chasseur was
  • always in attendance, and looking as much as possible like Don Juan.
  • The Prime Minister's lady had just squeezed herself into her sedan, and
  • her daughter, the charming Ida, had put on her calash and clogs; when
  • the English party came out, the boy yawning drearily, the Major taking
  • great pains in keeping the shawl over Mrs. Osborne's head, and Mr.
  • Sedley looking grand, with a crush opera-hat on one side of his head
  • and his hand in the stomach of a voluminous white waistcoat. We took
  • off our hats to our acquaintances of the table d'hote, and the lady, in
  • return, presented us with a little smile and a curtsey, for which
  • everybody might be thankful.
  • The carriage from the inn, under the superintendence of the bustling
  • Mr. Kirsch, was in waiting to convey the party; but the fat man said he
  • would walk and smoke his cigar on his way homewards, so the other
  • three, with nods and smiles to us, went without Mr. Sedley, Kirsch,
  • with the cigar case, following in his master's wake.
  • We all walked together and talked to the stout gentleman about the
  • agremens of the place. It was very agreeable for the English. There
  • were shooting-parties and battues; there was a plenty of balls and
  • entertainments at the hospitable Court; the society was generally good;
  • the theatre excellent; and the living cheap.
  • "And our Minister seems a most delightful and affable person," our new
  • friend said. "With such a representative, and--and a good medical man,
  • I can fancy the place to be most eligible. Good-night, gentlemen." And
  • Jos creaked up the stairs to bedward, followed by Kirsch with a
  • flambeau. We rather hoped that nice-looking woman would be induced to
  • stay some time in the town.
  • CHAPTER LXIII
  • In Which We Meet an Old Acquaintance
  • Such polite behaviour as that of Lord Tapeworm did not fail to have the
  • most favourable effect upon Mr. Sedley's mind, and the very next
  • morning, at breakfast, he pronounced his opinion that Pumpernickel was
  • the pleasantest little place of any which he had visited on their tour.
  • Jos's motives and artifices were not very difficult of comprehension,
  • and Dobbin laughed in his sleeve, like a hypocrite as he was, when he
  • found, by the knowing air of the civilian and the offhand manner in
  • which the latter talked about Tapeworm Castle and the other members of
  • the family, that Jos had been up already in the morning, consulting his
  • travelling Peerage. Yes, he had seen the Right Honourable the Earl of
  • Bagwig, his lordship's father; he was sure he had, he had met him
  • at--at the Levee--didn't Dob remember? and when the Diplomatist called
  • on the party, faithful to his promise, Jos received him with such a
  • salute and honours as were seldom accorded to the little Envoy. He
  • winked at Kirsch on his Excellency's arrival, and that emissary,
  • instructed before-hand, went out and superintended an entertainment of
  • cold meats, jellies, and other delicacies, brought in upon trays, and
  • of which Mr. Jos absolutely insisted that his noble guest should
  • partake.
  • Tapeworm, so long as he could have an opportunity of admiring the
  • bright eyes of Mrs. Osborne (whose freshness of complexion bore
  • daylight remarkably well) was not ill pleased to accept any invitation
  • to stay in Mr. Sedley's lodgings; he put one or two dexterous questions
  • to him about India and the dancing-girls there; asked Amelia about that
  • beautiful boy who had been with her; and complimented the astonished
  • little woman upon the prodigious sensation which she had made in the
  • house; and tried to fascinate Dobbin by talking of the late war and the
  • exploits of the Pumpernickel contingent under the command of the
  • Hereditary Prince, now Duke of Pumpernickel.
  • Lord Tapeworm inherited no little portion of the family gallantry, and
  • it was his happy belief that almost every woman upon whom he himself
  • cast friendly eyes was in love with him. He left Emmy under the
  • persuasion that she was slain by his wit and attractions and went home
  • to his lodgings to write a pretty little note to her. She was not
  • fascinated, only puzzled, by his grinning, his simpering, his scented
  • cambric handkerchief, and his high-heeled lacquered boots. She did not
  • understand one-half the compliments which he paid; she had never, in
  • her small experience of mankind, met a professional ladies' man as yet,
  • and looked upon my lord as something curious rather than pleasant; and
  • if she did not admire, certainly wondered at him. Jos, on the
  • contrary, was delighted. "How very affable his Lordship is," he said;
  • "How very kind of his Lordship to say he would send his medical man!
  • Kirsch, you will carry our cards to the Count de Schlusselback
  • directly; the Major and I will have the greatest pleasure in paying our
  • respects at Court as soon as possible. Put out my uniform,
  • Kirsch--both our uniforms. It is a mark of politeness which every
  • English gentleman ought to show to the countries which he visits to pay
  • his respects to the sovereigns of those countries as to the
  • representatives of his own."
  • When Tapeworm's doctor came, Doctor von Glauber, Body Physician to
  • H.S.H. the Duke, he speedily convinced Jos that the Pumpernickel
  • mineral springs and the Doctor's particular treatment would infallibly
  • restore the Bengalee to youth and slimness. "Dere came here last
  • year," he said, "Sheneral Bulkeley, an English Sheneral, tvice so pic
  • as you, sir. I sent him back qvite tin after tree months, and he
  • danced vid Baroness Glauber at the end of two."
  • Jos's mind was made up; the springs, the Doctor, the Court, and the
  • Charge d'Affaires convinced him, and he proposed to spend the autumn in
  • these delightful quarters. And punctual to his word, on the next day
  • the Charge d'Affaires presented Jos and the Major to Victor Aurelius
  • XVII, being conducted to their audience with that sovereign by the
  • Count de Schlusselback, Marshal of the Court.
  • They were straightway invited to dinner at Court, and their intention
  • of staying in the town being announced, the politest ladies of the
  • whole town instantly called upon Mrs. Osborne; and as not one of these,
  • however poor they might be, was under the rank of a Baroness, Jos's
  • delight was beyond expression. He wrote off to Chutney at the Club to
  • say that the Service was highly appreciated in Germany, that he was
  • going to show his friend, the Count de Schlusselback, how to stick a
  • pig in the Indian fashion, and that his august friends, the Duke and
  • Duchess, were everything that was kind and civil.
  • Emmy, too, was presented to the august family, and as mourning is not
  • admitted in Court on certain days, she appeared in a pink crape dress
  • with a diamond ornament in the corsage, presented to her by her
  • brother, and she looked so pretty in this costume that the Duke and
  • Court (putting out of the question the Major, who had scarcely ever
  • seen her before in an evening dress, and vowed that she did not look
  • five-and-twenty) all admired her excessively.
  • In this dress she walked a Polonaise with Major Dobbin at a Court ball,
  • in which easy dance Mr. Jos had the honour of leading out the Countess
  • of Schlusselback, an old lady with a hump back, but with sixteen good
  • quarters of nobility and related to half the royal houses of Germany.
  • Pumpernickel stands in the midst of a happy valley through which
  • sparkles--to mingle with the Rhine somewhere, but I have not the map at
  • hand to say exactly at what point--the fertilizing stream of the Pump.
  • In some places the river is big enough to support a ferry-boat, in
  • others to turn a mill; in Pumpernickel itself, the last Transparency
  • but three, the great and renowned Victor Aurelius XIV built a
  • magnificent bridge, on which his own statue rises, surrounded by
  • water-nymphs and emblems of victory, peace, and plenty; he has his foot
  • on the neck of a prostrate Turk--history says he engaged and ran a
  • Janissary through the body at the relief of Vienna by Sobieski--but,
  • quite undisturbed by the agonies of that prostrate Mahometan, who
  • writhes at his feet in the most ghastly manner, the Prince smiles
  • blandly and points with his truncheon in the direction of the Aurelius
  • Platz, where he began to erect a new palace that would have been the
  • wonder of his age had the great-souled Prince but had funds to
  • complete it. But the completion of Monplaisir (Monblaisir the honest
  • German folks call it) was stopped for lack of ready money, and it and
  • its park and garden are now in rather a faded condition, and not more
  • than ten times big enough to accommodate the Court of the reigning
  • Sovereign.
  • The gardens were arranged to emulate those of Versailles, and amidst
  • the terraces and groves there are some huge allegorical waterworks
  • still, which spout and froth stupendously upon fete-days, and frighten
  • one with their enormous aquatic insurrections. There is the
  • Trophonius' cave in which, by some artifice, the leaden Tritons are
  • made not only to spout water, but to play the most dreadful groans out
  • of their lead conchs--there is the nymphbath and the Niagara cataract,
  • which the people of the neighbourhood admire beyond expression, when
  • they come to the yearly fair at the opening of the Chamber, or to the
  • fetes with which the happy little nation still celebrates the birthdays
  • and marriage-days of its princely governors.
  • Then from all the towns of the Duchy, which stretches for nearly ten
  • mile--from Bolkum, which lies on its western frontier bidding defiance
  • to Prussia, from Grogwitz, where the Prince has a hunting-lodge, and
  • where his dominions are separated by the Pump River from those of the
  • neighbouring Prince of Potzenthal; from all the little villages, which
  • besides these three great cities, dot over the happy principality--from
  • the farms and the mills along the Pump come troops of people in red
  • petticoats and velvet head-dresses, or with three-cornered hats and
  • pipes in their mouths, who flock to the Residenz and share in the
  • pleasures of the fair and the festivities there. Then the theatre is
  • open for nothing, then the waters of Monblaisir begin to play (it is
  • lucky that there is company to behold them, for one would be afraid to
  • see them alone)--then there come mountebanks and riding troops (the way
  • in which his Transparency was fascinated by one of the horse-riders is
  • well known, and it is believed that La Petite Vivandiere, as she was
  • called, was a spy in the French interest), and the delighted people are
  • permitted to march through room after room of the Grand Ducal palace
  • and admire the slippery floor, the rich hangings, and the spittoons at
  • the doors of all the innumerable chambers. There is one Pavilion at
  • Monblaisir which Aurelius Victor XV had arranged--a great Prince but
  • too fond of pleasure--and which I am told is a perfect wonder of
  • licentious elegance. It is painted with the story of Bacchus and
  • Ariadne, and the table works in and out of the room by means of a
  • windlass, so that the company was served without any intervention of
  • domestics. But the place was shut up by Barbara, Aurelius XV's widow,
  • a severe and devout Princess of the House of Bolkum and Regent of the
  • Duchy during her son's glorious minority, and after the death of her
  • husband, cut off in the pride of his pleasures.
  • The theatre of Pumpernickel is known and famous in that quarter of
  • Germany. It languished a little when the present Duke in his youth
  • insisted upon having his own operas played there, and it is said one
  • day, in a fury, from his place in the orchestra, when he attended a
  • rehearsal, broke a bassoon on the head of the Chapel Master, who was
  • conducting, and led too slow; and during which time the Duchess Sophia
  • wrote domestic comedies, which must have been very dreary to witness.
  • But the Prince executes his music in private now, and the Duchess only
  • gives away her plays to the foreigners of distinction who visit her
  • kind little Court.
  • It is conducted with no small comfort and splendour. When there are
  • balls, though there may be four hundred people at supper, there is a
  • servant in scarlet and lace to attend upon every four, and every one is
  • served on silver. There are festivals and entertainments going
  • continually on, and the Duke has his chamberlains and equerries, and
  • the Duchess her mistress of the wardrobe and ladies of honour, just
  • like any other and more potent potentates.
  • The Constitution is or was a moderate despotism, tempered by a Chamber
  • that might or might not be elected. I never certainly could hear of
  • its sitting in my time at Pumpernickel. The Prime Minister had
  • lodgings in a second floor, and the Foreign Secretary occupied the
  • comfortable lodgings over Zwieback's Conditorey. The army consisted of
  • a magnificent band that also did duty on the stage, where it was quite
  • pleasant to see the worthy fellows marching in Turkish dresses with
  • rouge on and wooden scimitars, or as Roman warriors with ophicleides
  • and trombones--to see them again, I say, at night, after one had
  • listened to them all the morning in the Aurelius Platz, where they
  • performed opposite the cafe where we breakfasted. Besides the band,
  • there was a rich and numerous staff of officers, and, I believe, a few
  • men. Besides the regular sentries, three or four men, habited as
  • hussars, used to do duty at the Palace, but I never saw them on
  • horseback, and au fait, what was the use of cavalry in a time of
  • profound peace?--and whither the deuce should the hussars ride?
  • Everybody--everybody that was noble of course, for as for the bourgeois
  • we could not quite be expected to take notice of THEM--visited his
  • neighbour. H. E. Madame de Burst received once a week, H. E. Madame de
  • Schnurrbart had her night--the theatre was open twice a week, the Court
  • graciously received once, so that a man's life might in fact be a
  • perfect round of pleasure in the unpretending Pumpernickel way.
  • That there were feuds in the place, no one can deny. Politics ran very
  • high at Pumpernickel, and parties were very bitter. There was the
  • Strumpff faction and the Lederlung party, the one supported by our
  • envoy and the other by the French Charge d'Affaires, M. de Macabau.
  • Indeed it sufficed for our Minister to stand up for Madame Strumpff,
  • who was clearly the greater singer of the two, and had three more notes
  • in her voice than Madame Lederlung her rival--it sufficed, I say, for
  • our Minister to advance any opinion to have it instantly contradicted
  • by the French diplomatist.
  • Everybody in the town was ranged in one or other of these factions. The
  • Lederlung was a prettyish little creature certainly, and her voice
  • (what there was of it) was very sweet, and there is no doubt that the
  • Strumpff was not in her first youth and beauty, and certainly too
  • stout; when she came on in the last scene of the Sonnambula, for
  • instance, in her night-chemise with a lamp in her hand, and had to go
  • out of the window, and pass over the plank of the mill, it was all she
  • could do to squeeze out of the window, and the plank used to bend and
  • creak again under her weight--but how she poured out the finale of the
  • opera! and with what a burst of feeling she rushed into Elvino's
  • arms--almost fit to smother him! Whereas the little Lederlung--but a
  • truce to this gossip--the fact is that these two women were the two
  • flags of the French and the English party at Pumpernickel, and the
  • society was divided in its allegiance to those two great nations.
  • We had on our side the Home Minister, the Master of the Horse, the
  • Duke's Private Secretary, and the Prince's Tutor; whereas of the French
  • party were the Foreign Minister, the Commander-in-Chief's Lady, who had
  • served under Napoleon, and the Hof-Marschall and his wife, who was glad
  • enough to get the fashions from Paris, and always had them and her caps
  • by M. de Macabau's courier. The Secretary of his Chancery was little
  • Grignac, a young fellow, as malicious as Satan, and who made
  • caricatures of Tapeworm in all the albums of the place.
  • Their headquarters and table d'hote were established at the Pariser
  • Hof, the other inn of the town; and though, of course, these gentlemen
  • were obliged to be civil in public, yet they cut at each other with
  • epigrams that were as sharp as razors, as I have seen a couple of
  • wrestlers in Devonshire, lashing at each other's shins and never
  • showing their agony upon a muscle of their faces. Neither Tapeworm nor
  • Macabau ever sent home a dispatch to his government without a most
  • savage series of attacks upon his rival. For instance, on our side we
  • would write, "The interests of Great Britain in this place, and
  • throughout the whole of Germany, are perilled by the continuance in
  • office of the present French envoy; this man is of a character so
  • infamous that he will stick at no falsehood, or hesitate at no crime,
  • to attain his ends. He poisons the mind of the Court against the
  • English minister, represents the conduct of Great Britain in the most
  • odious and atrocious light, and is unhappily backed by a minister whose
  • ignorance and necessities are as notorious as his influence is fatal."
  • On their side they would say, "M. de Tapeworm continues his system of
  • stupid insular arrogance and vulgar falsehood against the greatest
  • nation in the world. Yesterday he was heard to speak lightly of Her
  • Royal Highness Madame the Duchess of Berri; on a former occasion he
  • insulted the heroic Duke of Angouleme and dared to insinuate that
  • H.R.H. the Duke of Orleans was conspiring against the august throne of
  • the lilies. His gold is prodigated in every direction which his stupid
  • menaces fail to frighten. By one and the other, he has won over
  • creatures of the Court here--and, in fine, Pumpernickel will not be
  • quiet, Germany tranquil, France respected, or Europe content until this
  • poisonous viper be crushed under heel": and so on. When one side or
  • the other had written any particularly spicy dispatch, news of it was
  • sure to slip out.
  • Before the winter was far advanced, it is actually on record that Emmy
  • took a night and received company with great propriety and modesty.
  • She had a French master, who complimented her upon the purity of her
  • accent and her facility of learning; the fact is she had learned long
  • ago and grounded herself subsequently in the grammar so as to be able
  • to teach it to George; and Madam Strumpff came to give her lessons in
  • singing, which she performed so well and with such a true voice that
  • the Major's windows, who had lodgings opposite under the Prime
  • Minister, were always open to hear the lesson. Some of the German
  • ladies, who are very sentimental and simple in their tastes, fell in
  • love with her and began to call her du at once. These are trivial
  • details, but they relate to happy times. The Major made himself
  • George's tutor and read Caesar and mathematics with him, and they had a
  • German master and rode out of evenings by the side of Emmy's
  • carriage--she was always too timid, and made a dreadful outcry at the
  • slightest disturbance on horse-back. So she drove about with one of
  • her dear German friends, and Jos asleep on the back-seat of the
  • barouche.
  • He was becoming very sweet upon the Grafinn Fanny de Butterbrod, a very
  • gentle tender-hearted and unassuming young creature, a Canoness and
  • Countess in her own right, but with scarcely ten pounds per year to her
  • fortune, and Fanny for her part declared that to be Amelia's sister was
  • the greatest delight that Heaven could bestow on her, and Jos might
  • have put a Countess's shield and coronet by the side of his own arms on
  • his carriage and forks; when--when events occurred, and those grand
  • fetes given upon the marriage of the Hereditary Prince of Pumpernickel
  • with the lovely Princess Amelia of Humbourg-Schlippenschloppen took
  • place.
  • At this festival the magnificence displayed was such as had not been
  • known in the little German place since the days of the prodigal Victor
  • XIV. All the neighbouring Princes, Princesses, and Grandees were
  • invited to the feast. Beds rose to half a crown per night in
  • Pumpernickel, and the Army was exhausted in providing guards of honour
  • for the Highnesses, Serenities, and Excellencies who arrived from all
  • quarters. The Princess was married by proxy, at her father's
  • residence, by the Count de Schlusselback. Snuff-boxes were given away
  • in profusion (as we learned from the Court jeweller, who sold and
  • afterwards bought them again), and bushels of the Order of Saint
  • Michael of Pumpernickel were sent to the nobles of the Court, while
  • hampers of the cordons and decorations of the Wheel of St. Catherine of
  • Schlippenschloppen were brought to ours. The French envoy got both.
  • "He is covered with ribbons like a prize cart-horse," Tapeworm said,
  • who was not allowed by the rules of his service to take any
  • decorations: "Let him have the cordons; but with whom is the victory?"
  • The fact is, it was a triumph of British diplomacy, the French party
  • having proposed and tried their utmost to carry a marriage with a
  • Princess of the House of Potztausend-Donnerwetter, whom, as a matter
  • of course, we opposed.
  • Everybody was asked to the fetes of the marriage. Garlands and
  • triumphal arches were hung across the road to welcome the young bride.
  • The great Saint Michael's Fountain ran with uncommonly sour wine, while
  • that in the Artillery Place frothed with beer. The great waters
  • played; and poles were put up in the park and gardens for the happy
  • peasantry, which they might climb at their leisure, carrying off
  • watches, silver forks, prize sausages hung with pink ribbon, &c., at
  • the top. Georgy got one, wrenching it off, having swarmed up the pole
  • to the delight of the spectators, and sliding down with the rapidity of
  • a fall of water. But it was for the glory's sake merely. The boy gave
  • the sausage to a peasant, who had very nearly seized it, and stood at
  • the foot of the mast, blubbering, because he was unsuccessful.
  • At the French Chancellerie they had six more lampions in their
  • illumination than ours had; but our transparency, which represented the
  • young Couple advancing and Discord flying away, with the most ludicrous
  • likeness to the French Ambassador, beat the French picture hollow; and
  • I have no doubt got Tapeworm the advancement and the Cross of the Bath
  • which he subsequently attained.
  • Crowds of foreigners arrived for the fetes, and of English, of course.
  • Besides the Court balls, public balls were given at the Town Hall and
  • the Redoute, and in the former place there was a room for
  • trente-et-quarante and roulette established, for the week of the
  • festivities only, and by one of the great German companies from Ems or
  • Aix-la-Chapelle. The officers or inhabitants of the town were not
  • allowed to play at these games, but strangers, peasants, ladies were
  • admitted, and any one who chose to lose or win money.
  • That little scapegrace Georgy Osborne amongst others, whose pockets
  • were always full of dollars and whose relations were away at the grand
  • festival of the Court, came to the Stadthaus Ball in company of his
  • uncle's courier, Mr. Kirsch, and having only peeped into a play-room at
  • Baden-Baden when he hung on Dobbin's arm, and where, of course, he was
  • not permitted to gamble, came eagerly to this part of the entertainment
  • and hankered round the tables where the croupiers and the punters were
  • at work. Women were playing; they were masked, some of them; this
  • license was allowed in these wild times of carnival.
  • A woman with light hair, in a low dress by no means so fresh as it had
  • been, and with a black mask on, through the eyelets of which her eyes
  • twinkled strangely, was seated at one of the roulette-tables with a
  • card and a pin and a couple of florins before her. As the croupier
  • called out the colour and number, she pricked on the card with great
  • care and regularity, and only ventured her money on the colours after
  • the red or black had come up a certain number of times. It was strange
  • to look at her.
  • But in spite of her care and assiduity she guessed wrong and the last
  • two florins followed each other under the croupier's rake, as he cried
  • out with his inexorable voice the winning colour and number. She gave
  • a sigh, a shrug with her shoulders, which were already too much out of
  • her gown, and dashing the pin through the card on to the table, sat
  • thrumming it for a while. Then she looked round her and saw Georgy's
  • honest face staring at the scene. The little scamp! What business had
  • he to be there?
  • When she saw the boy, at whose face she looked hard through her shining
  • eyes and mask, she said, "Monsieur n'est pas joueur?"
  • "Non, Madame," said the boy; but she must have known, from his accent,
  • of what country he was, for she answered him with a slight foreign
  • tone. "You have nevare played--will you do me a littl' favor?"
  • "What is it?" said Georgy, blushing again. Mr. Kirsch was at work for
  • his part at the rouge et noir and did not see his young master.
  • "Play this for me, if you please; put it on any number, any number."
  • And she took from her bosom a purse, and out of it a gold piece, the
  • only coin there, and she put it into George's hand. The boy laughed
  • and did as he was bid.
  • The number came up sure enough. There is a power that arranges that,
  • they say, for beginners.
  • "Thank you," said she, pulling the money towards her, "thank you. What
  • is your name?"
  • "My name's Osborne," said Georgy, and was fingering in his own pockets
  • for dollars, and just about to make a trial, when the Major, in his
  • uniform, and Jos, en Marquis, from the Court ball, made their
  • appearance. Other people, finding the entertainment stupid and
  • preferring the fun at the Stadthaus, had quitted the Palace ball
  • earlier; but it is probable the Major and Jos had gone home and found
  • the boy's absence, for the former instantly went up to him and, taking
  • him by the shoulder, pulled him briskly back from the place of
  • temptation. Then, looking round the room, he saw Kirsch employed as we
  • have said, and going up to him, asked how he dared to bring Mr. George
  • to such a place.
  • "Laissez-moi tranquille," said Mr. Kirsch, very much excited by play
  • and wine. "Il faut s'amuser, parbleu. Je ne suis pas au service de
  • Monsieur."
  • Seeing his condition the Major did not choose to argue with the man,
  • but contented himself with drawing away George and asking Jos if he
  • would come away. He was standing close by the lady in the mask, who
  • was playing with pretty good luck now, and looking on much interested
  • at the game.
  • "Hadn't you better come, Jos," the Major said, "with George and me?"
  • "I'll stop and go home with that rascal, Kirsch," Jos said; and for the
  • same reason of modesty, which he thought ought to be preserved before
  • the boy, Dobbin did not care to remonstrate with Jos, but left him and
  • walked home with Georgy.
  • "Did you play?" asked the Major when they were out and on their way
  • home.
  • The boy said "No."
  • "Give me your word of honour as a gentleman that you never will."
  • "Why?" said the boy; "it seems very good fun." And, in a very eloquent
  • and impressive manner, the Major showed him why he shouldn't, and would
  • have enforced his precepts by the example of Georgy's own father, had
  • he liked to say anything that should reflect on the other's memory.
  • When he had housed him, he went to bed and saw his light, in the little
  • room outside of Amelia's, presently disappear. Amelia's followed half
  • an hour afterwards. I don't know what made the Major note it so
  • accurately.
  • Jos, however, remained behind over the play-table; he was no gambler,
  • but not averse to the little excitement of the sport now and then, and
  • he had some Napoleons chinking in the embroidered pockets of his court
  • waistcoat. He put down one over the fair shoulder of the little
  • gambler before him, and they won. She made a little movement to make
  • room for him by her side, and just took the skirt of her gown from a
  • vacant chair there.
  • "Come and give me good luck," she said, still in a foreign accent,
  • quite different from that frank and perfectly English "Thank you," with
  • which she had saluted Georgy's coup in her favour. The portly
  • gentleman, looking round to see that nobody of rank observed him, sat
  • down; he muttered--"Ah, really, well now, God bless my soul. I'm very
  • fortunate; I'm sure to give you good fortune," and other words of
  • compliment and confusion. "Do you play much?" the foreign mask said.
  • "I put a Nap or two down," said Jos with a superb air, flinging down a
  • gold piece.
  • "Yes; ay nap after dinner," said the mask archly. But Jos looking
  • frightened, she continued, in her pretty French accent, "You do not
  • play to win. No more do I. I play to forget, but I cannot. I cannot
  • forget old times, monsieur. Your little nephew is the image of his
  • father; and you--you are not changed--but yes, you are. Everybody
  • changes, everybody forgets; nobody has any heart."
  • "Good God, who is it?" asked Jos in a flutter.
  • "Can't you guess, Joseph Sedley?" said the little woman in a sad voice,
  • and undoing her mask, she looked at him. "You have forgotten me."
  • "Good heavens! Mrs. Crawley!" gasped out Jos.
  • "Rebecca," said the other, putting her hand on his; but she followed
  • the game still, all the time she was looking at him.
  • "I am stopping at the Elephant," she continued. "Ask for Madame de
  • Raudon. I saw my dear Amelia to-day; how pretty she looked, and how
  • happy! So do you! Everybody but me, who am wretched, Joseph Sedley."
  • And she put her money over from the red to the black, as if by a chance
  • movement of her hand, and while she was wiping her eyes with a
  • pocket-handkerchief fringed with torn lace.
  • The red came up again, and she lost the whole of that stake. "Come
  • away," she said. "Come with me a little--we are old friends, are we
  • not, dear Mr. Sedley?"
  • And Mr. Kirsch having lost all his money by this time, followed his
  • master out into the moonlight, where the illuminations were winking out
  • and the transparency over our mission was scarcely visible.
  • CHAPTER LXIV
  • A Vagabond Chapter
  • We must pass over a part of Mrs. Rebecca Crawley's biography with that
  • lightness and delicacy which the world demands--the moral world, that
  • has, perhaps, no particular objection to vice, but an insuperable
  • repugnance to hearing vice called by its proper name. There are things
  • we do and know perfectly well in Vanity Fair, though we never speak of
  • them: as the Ahrimanians worship the devil, but don't mention him:
  • and a polite public will no more bear to read an authentic description
  • of vice than a truly refined English or American female will permit the
  • word breeches to be pronounced in her chaste hearing. And yet, madam,
  • both are walking the world before our faces every day, without much
  • shocking us. If you were to blush every time they went by, what
  • complexions you would have! It is only when their naughty names are
  • called out that your modesty has any occasion to show alarm or sense of
  • outrage, and it has been the wish of the present writer, all through
  • this story, deferentially to submit to the fashion at present
  • prevailing, and only to hint at the existence of wickedness in a light,
  • easy, and agreeable manner, so that nobody's fine feelings may be
  • offended. I defy any one to say that our Becky, who has certainly some
  • vices, has not been presented to the public in a perfectly genteel and
  • inoffensive manner. In describing this Siren, singing and smiling,
  • coaxing and cajoling, the author, with modest pride, asks his readers
  • all round, has he once forgotten the laws of politeness, and showed the
  • monster's hideous tail above water? No! Those who like may peep down
  • under waves that are pretty transparent and see it writhing and
  • twirling, diabolically hideous and slimy, flapping amongst bones, or
  • curling round corpses; but above the waterline, I ask, has not
  • everything been proper, agreeable, and decorous, and has any the most
  • squeamish immoralist in Vanity Fair a right to cry fie? When, however,
  • the Siren disappears and dives below, down among the dead men, the
  • water of course grows turbid over her, and it is labour lost to look
  • into it ever so curiously. They look pretty enough when they sit upon
  • a rock, twanging their harps and combing their hair, and sing, and
  • beckon to you to come and hold the looking-glass; but when they sink
  • into their native element, depend on it, those mermaids are about no
  • good, and we had best not examine the fiendish marine cannibals,
  • revelling and feasting on their wretched pickled victims. And so, when
  • Becky is out of the way, be sure that she is not particularly well
  • employed, and that the less that is said about her doings is in fact
  • the better.
  • If we were to give a full account of her proceedings during a couple of
  • years that followed after the Curzon Street catastrophe, there might be
  • some reason for people to say this book was improper. The actions of
  • very vain, heartless, pleasure-seeking people are very often improper
  • (as are many of yours, my friend with the grave face and spotless
  • reputation--but that is merely by the way); and what are those of a
  • woman without faith--or love--or character? And I am inclined to think
  • that there was a period in Mrs Becky's life when she was seized, not by
  • remorse, but by a kind of despair, and absolutely neglected her person
  • and did not even care for her reputation.
  • This abattement and degradation did not take place all at once; it was
  • brought about by degrees, after her calamity, and after many struggles
  • to keep up--as a man who goes overboard hangs on to a spar whilst any
  • hope is left, and then flings it away and goes down, when he finds that
  • struggling is in vain.
  • She lingered about London whilst her husband was making preparations
  • for his departure to his seat of government, and it is believed made
  • more than one attempt to see her brother-in-law, Sir Pitt Crawley, and
  • to work upon his feelings, which she had almost enlisted in her favour.
  • As Sir Pitt and Mr. Wenham were walking down to the House of Commons,
  • the latter spied Mrs. Rawdon in a black veil, and lurking near the
  • palace of the legislature. She sneaked away when her eyes met those of
  • Wenham, and indeed never succeeded in her designs upon the Baronet.
  • Probably Lady Jane interposed. I have heard that she quite astonished
  • her husband by the spirit which she exhibited in this quarrel, and her
  • determination to disown Mrs. Becky. Of her own movement, she invited
  • Rawdon to come and stop in Gaunt Street until his departure for
  • Coventry Island, knowing that with him for a guard Mrs. Becky would not
  • try to force her door; and she looked curiously at the superscriptions
  • of all the letters which arrived for Sir Pitt, lest he and his
  • sister-in-law should be corresponding. Not but that Rebecca could have
  • written had she a mind, but she did not try to see or to write to Pitt
  • at his own house, and after one or two attempts consented to his demand
  • that the correspondence regarding her conjugal differences should be
  • carried on by lawyers only.
  • The fact was that Pitt's mind had been poisoned against her. A short
  • time after Lord Steyne's accident Wenham had been with the Baronet and
  • given him such a biography of Mrs. Becky as had astonished the member
  • for Queen's Crawley. He knew everything regarding her: who her father
  • was; in what year her mother danced at the opera; what had been her
  • previous history; and what her conduct during her married life--as I
  • have no doubt that the greater part of the story was false and dictated
  • by interested malevolence, it shall not be repeated here. But Becky
  • was left with a sad sad reputation in the esteem of a country gentleman
  • and relative who had been once rather partial to her.
  • The revenues of the Governor of Coventry Island are not large. A part
  • of them were set aside by his Excellency for the payment of certain
  • outstanding debts and liabilities, the charges incident on his high
  • situation required considerable expense; finally, it was found that he
  • could not spare to his wife more than three hundred pounds a year,
  • which he proposed to pay to her on an undertaking that she would never
  • trouble him. Otherwise, scandal, separation, Doctors' Commons would
  • ensue. But it was Mr. Wenham's business, Lord Steyne's business,
  • Rawdon's, everybody's--to get her out of the country, and hush up a
  • most disagreeable affair.
  • She was probably so much occupied in arranging these affairs of
  • business with her husband's lawyers that she forgot to take any step
  • whatever about her son, the little Rawdon, and did not even once
  • propose to go and see him. That young gentleman was consigned to the
  • entire guardianship of his aunt and uncle, the former of whom had
  • always possessed a great share of the child's affection. His mamma
  • wrote him a neat letter from Boulogne, when she quitted England, in
  • which she requested him to mind his book, and said she was going to
  • take a Continental tour, during which she would have the pleasure of
  • writing to him again. But she never did for a year afterwards, and
  • not, indeed, until Sir Pitt's only boy, always sickly, died of
  • hooping-cough and measles--then Rawdon's mamma wrote the most
  • affectionate composition to her darling son, who was made heir of
  • Queen's Crawley by this accident, and drawn more closely than ever to
  • the kind lady, whose tender heart had already adopted him. Rawdon
  • Crawley, then grown a tall, fine lad, blushed when he got the letter.
  • "Oh, Aunt Jane, you are my mother!" he said; "and not--and not that
  • one." But he wrote back a kind and respectful letter to Mrs. Rebecca,
  • then living at a boarding-house at Florence. But we are advancing
  • matters.
  • Our darling Becky's first flight was not very far. She perched upon
  • the French coast at Boulogne, that refuge of so much exiled English
  • innocence, and there lived in rather a genteel, widowed manner, with a
  • femme de chambre and a couple of rooms, at an hotel. She dined at the
  • table d'hote, where people thought her very pleasant, and where she
  • entertained her neighbours by stories of her brother, Sir Pitt, and her
  • great London acquaintance, talking that easy, fashionable slip-slop
  • which has so much effect upon certain folks of small breeding. She
  • passed with many of them for a person of importance; she gave little
  • tea-parties in her private room and shared in the innocent amusements
  • of the place in sea-bathing, and in jaunts in open carriages, in
  • strolls on the sands, and in visits to the play. Mrs. Burjoice, the
  • printer's lady, who was boarding with her family at the hotel for the
  • summer, and to whom her Burjoice came of a Saturday and Sunday, voted
  • her charming, until that little rogue of a Burjoice began to pay her
  • too much attention. But there was nothing in the story, only that
  • Becky was always affable, easy, and good-natured--and with men
  • especially.
  • Numbers of people were going abroad as usual at the end of the season,
  • and Becky had plenty of opportunities of finding out by the behaviour
  • of her acquaintances of the great London world the opinion of "society"
  • as regarded her conduct. One day it was Lady Partlet and her daughters
  • whom Becky confronted as she was walking modestly on Boulogne pier, the
  • cliffs of Albion shining in the distance across the deep blue sea.
  • Lady Partlet marshalled all her daughters round her with a sweep of her
  • parasol and retreated from the pier, darting savage glances at poor
  • little Becky who stood alone there.
  • On another day the packet came in. It had been blowing fresh, and it
  • always suited Becky's humour to see the droll woe-begone faces of the
  • people as they emerged from the boat. Lady Slingstone happened to be
  • on board this day. Her ladyship had been exceedingly ill in her
  • carriage, and was greatly exhausted and scarcely fit to walk up the
  • plank from the ship to the pier. But all her energies rallied the
  • instant she saw Becky smiling roguishly under a pink bonnet, and giving
  • her a glance of scorn such as would have shrivelled up most women, she
  • walked into the Custom House quite unsupported. Becky only laughed:
  • but I don't think she liked it. She felt she was alone, quite alone,
  • and the far-off shining cliffs of England were impassable to her.
  • The behaviour of the men had undergone too I don't know what change.
  • Grinstone showed his teeth and laughed in her face with a familiarity
  • that was not pleasant. Little Bob Suckling, who was cap in hand to her
  • three months before, and would walk a mile in the rain to see for her
  • carriage in the line at Gaunt House, was talking to Fitzoof of the
  • Guards (Lord Heehaw's son) one day upon the jetty, as Becky took her
  • walk there. Little Bobby nodded to her over his shoulder, without
  • moving his hat, and continued his conversation with the heir of Heehaw.
  • Tom Raikes tried to walk into her sitting-room at the inn with a cigar
  • in his mouth, but she closed the door upon him, and would have locked
  • it, only that his fingers were inside. She began to feel that she was
  • very lonely indeed. "If HE'D been here," she said, "those cowards
  • would never have dared to insult me." She thought about "him" with
  • great sadness and perhaps longing--about his honest, stupid, constant
  • kindness and fidelity; his never-ceasing obedience; his good humour;
  • his bravery and courage. Very likely she cried, for she was
  • particularly lively, and had put on a little extra rouge, when she came
  • down to dinner.
  • She rouged regularly now; and--and her maid got Cognac for her besides
  • that which was charged in the hotel bill.
  • Perhaps the insults of the men were not, however, so intolerable to her
  • as the sympathy of certain women. Mrs. Crackenbury and Mrs. Washington
  • White passed through Boulogne on their way to Switzerland. The party
  • were protected by Colonel Horner, young Beaumoris, and of course old
  • Crackenbury, and Mrs. White's little girl. THEY did not avoid her.
  • They giggled, cackled, tattled, condoled, consoled, and patronized her
  • until they drove her almost wild with rage. To be patronized by THEM!
  • she thought, as they went away simpering after kissing her. And she
  • heard Beaumoris's laugh ringing on the stair and knew quite well how to
  • interpret his hilarity.
  • It was after this visit that Becky, who had paid her weekly bills,
  • Becky who had made herself agreeable to everybody in the house, who
  • smiled at the landlady, called the waiters "monsieur," and paid the
  • chambermaids in politeness and apologies, what far more than
  • compensated for a little niggardliness in point of money (of which
  • Becky never was free), that Becky, we say, received a notice to quit
  • from the landlord, who had been told by some one that she was quite an
  • unfit person to have at his hotel, where English ladies would not sit
  • down with her. And she was forced to fly into lodgings of which the
  • dulness and solitude were most wearisome to her.
  • Still she held up, in spite of these rebuffs, and tried to make a
  • character for herself and conquer scandal. She went to church very
  • regularly and sang louder than anybody there. She took up the cause of
  • the widows of the shipwrecked fishermen, and gave work and drawings for
  • the Quashyboo Mission; she subscribed to the Assembly and WOULDN'T
  • waltz. In a word, she did everything that was respectable, and that is
  • why we dwell upon this part of her career with more fondness than upon
  • subsequent parts of her history, which are not so pleasant. She saw
  • people avoiding her, and still laboriously smiled upon them; you never
  • could suppose from her countenance what pangs of humiliation she might
  • be enduring inwardly.
  • Her history was after all a mystery. Parties were divided about her.
  • Some people who took the trouble to busy themselves in the matter said
  • that she was the criminal, whilst others vowed that she was as innocent
  • as a lamb and that her odious husband was in fault. She won over a good
  • many by bursting into tears about her boy and exhibiting the most
  • frantic grief when his name was mentioned, or she saw anybody like him.
  • She gained good Mrs. Alderney's heart in that way, who was rather the
  • Queen of British Boulogne and gave the most dinners and balls of all
  • the residents there, by weeping when Master Alderney came from Dr.
  • Swishtail's academy to pass his holidays with his mother. "He and her
  • Rawdon were of the same age, and so like," Becky said in a voice
  • choking with agony; whereas there was five years' difference between
  • the boys' ages, and no more likeness between them than between my
  • respected reader and his humble servant. Wenham, when he was going
  • abroad, on his way to Kissingen to join Lord Steyne, enlightened Mrs.
  • Alderney on this point and told her how he was much more able to
  • describe little Rawdon than his mamma, who notoriously hated him and
  • never saw him; how he was thirteen years old, while little Alderney was
  • but nine, fair, while the other darling was dark--in a word, caused the
  • lady in question to repent of her good humour.
  • Whenever Becky made a little circle for herself with incredible toils
  • and labour, somebody came and swept it down rudely, and she had all her
  • work to begin over again. It was very hard; very hard; lonely and
  • disheartening.
  • There was Mrs. Newbright, who took her up for some time, attracted by
  • the sweetness of her singing at church and by her proper views upon
  • serious subjects, concerning which in former days, at Queen's Crawley,
  • Mrs. Becky had had a good deal of instruction. Well, she not only took
  • tracts, but she read them. She worked flannel petticoats for the
  • Quashyboos--cotton night-caps for the Cocoanut Indians--painted
  • handscreens for the conversion of the Pope and the Jews--sat under Mr.
  • Rowls on Wednesdays, Mr. Huggleton on Thursdays, attended two Sunday
  • services at church, besides Mr. Bawler, the Darbyite, in the evening,
  • and all in vain. Mrs. Newbright had occasion to correspond with the
  • Countess of Southdown about the Warmingpan Fund for the Fiji Islanders
  • (for the management of which admirable charity both these ladies formed
  • part of a female committee), and having mentioned her "sweet friend,"
  • Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, the Dowager Countess wrote back such a letter
  • regarding Becky, with such particulars, hints, facts, falsehoods, and
  • general comminations, that intimacy between Mrs. Newbright and Mrs.
  • Crawley ceased forthwith, and all the serious world of Tours, where
  • this misfortune took place, immediately parted company with the
  • reprobate. Those who know the English Colonies abroad know that we
  • carry with us us our pride, pills, prejudices, Harvey-sauces,
  • cayenne-peppers, and other Lares, making a little Britain wherever we
  • settle down.
  • From one colony to another Becky fled uneasily. From Boulogne to
  • Dieppe, from Dieppe to Caen, from Caen to Tours--trying with all her
  • might to be respectable, and alas! always found out some day or other
  • and pecked out of the cage by the real daws.
  • Mrs. Hook Eagles took her up at one of these places--a woman without a
  • blemish in her character and a house in Portman Square. She was
  • staying at the hotel at Dieppe, whither Becky fled, and they made each
  • other's acquaintance first at sea, where they were swimming together,
  • and subsequently at the table d'hote of the hotel. Mrs Eagles had
  • heard--who indeed had not?--some of the scandal of the Steyne affair;
  • but after a conversation with Becky, she pronounced that Mrs. Crawley
  • was an angel, her husband a ruffian, Lord Steyne an unprincipled
  • wretch, as everybody knew, and the whole case against Mrs. Crawley an
  • infamous and wicked conspiracy of that rascal Wenham. "If you were a
  • man of any spirit, Mr. Eagles, you would box the wretch's ears the next
  • time you see him at the Club," she said to her husband. But Eagles was
  • only a quiet old gentleman, husband to Mrs. Eagles, with a taste for
  • geology, and not tall enough to reach anybody's ears.
  • The Eagles then patronized Mrs. Rawdon, took her to live with her at
  • her own house at Paris, quarrelled with the ambassador's wife because
  • she would not receive her protegee, and did all that lay in woman's
  • power to keep Becky straight in the paths of virtue and good repute.
  • Becky was very respectable and orderly at first, but the life of
  • humdrum virtue grew utterly tedious to her before long. It was the
  • same routine every day, the same dulness and comfort, the same drive
  • over the same stupid Bois de Boulogne, the same company of an evening,
  • the same Blair's Sermon of a Sunday night--the same opera always being
  • acted over and over again; Becky was dying of weariness, when, luckily
  • for her, young Mr. Eagles came from Cambridge, and his mother, seeing
  • the impression which her little friend made upon him, straightway gave
  • Becky warning.
  • Then she tried keeping house with a female friend; then the double
  • menage began to quarrel and get into debt. Then she determined upon a
  • boarding-house existence and lived for some time at that famous mansion
  • kept by Madame de Saint Amour, in the Rue Royale, at Paris, where she
  • began exercising her graces and fascinations upon the shabby dandies
  • and fly-blown beauties who frequented her landlady's salons. Becky
  • loved society and, indeed, could no more exist without it than an
  • opium-eater without his dram, and she was happy enough at the period of
  • her boarding-house life. "The women here are as amusing as those in
  • May Fair," she told an old London friend who met her, "only, their
  • dresses are not quite so fresh. The men wear cleaned gloves, and are
  • sad rogues, certainly, but they are not worse than Jack This and Tom
  • That. The mistress of the house is a little vulgar, but I don't think
  • she is so vulgar as Lady ------" and here she named the name of a great
  • leader of fashion that I would die rather than reveal. In fact, when
  • you saw Madame de Saint Amour's rooms lighted up of a night, men with
  • plaques and cordons at the ecarte tables, and the women at a little
  • distance, you might fancy yourself for a while in good society, and
  • that Madame was a real Countess. Many people did so fancy, and Becky
  • was for a while one of the most dashing ladies of the Countess's salons.
  • But it is probable that her old creditors of 1815 found her out and
  • caused her to leave Paris, for the poor little woman was forced to fly
  • from the city rather suddenly, and went thence to Brussels.
  • How well she remembered the place! She grinned as she looked up at the
  • little entresol which she had occupied, and thought of the Bareacres
  • family, bawling for horses and flight, as their carriage stood in the
  • porte-cochere of the hotel. She went to Waterloo and to Laeken, where
  • George Osborne's monument much struck her. She made a little sketch of
  • it. "That poor Cupid!" she said; "how dreadfully he was in love with
  • me, and what a fool he was! I wonder whether little Emmy is alive. It
  • was a good little creature; and that fat brother of hers. I have his
  • funny fat picture still among my papers. They were kind simple people."
  • At Brussels Becky arrived, recommended by Madame de Saint Amour to her
  • friend, Madame la Comtesse de Borodino, widow of Napoleon's General,
  • the famous Count de Borodino, who was left with no resource by the
  • deceased hero but that of a table d'hote and an ecarte table.
  • Second-rate dandies and roues, widow-ladies who always have a lawsuit,
  • and very simple English folks, who fancy they see "Continental society"
  • at these houses, put down their money, or ate their meals, at Madame de
  • Borodino's tables. The gallant young fellows treated the company round
  • to champagne at the table d'hote, rode out with the women, or hired
  • horses on country excursions, clubbed money to take boxes at the play
  • or the opera, betted over the fair shoulders of the ladies at the
  • ecarte tables, and wrote home to their parents in Devonshire about
  • their felicitous introduction to foreign society.
  • Here, as at Paris, Becky was a boarding-house queen, and ruled in
  • select pensions. She never refused the champagne, or the bouquets, or
  • the drives into the country, or the private boxes; but what she
  • preferred was the ecarte at night,--and she played audaciously. First
  • she played only for a little, then for five-franc pieces, then for
  • Napoleons, then for notes: then she would not be able to pay her
  • month's pension: then she borrowed from the young gentlemen: then she
  • got into cash again and bullied Madame de Borodino, whom she had coaxed
  • and wheedled before: then she was playing for ten sous at a time, and
  • in a dire state of poverty: then her quarter's allowance would come
  • in, and she would pay off Madame de Borodino's score and would once
  • more take the cards against Monsieur de Rossignol, or the Chevalier de
  • Raff.
  • When Becky left Brussels, the sad truth is that she owed three months'
  • pension to Madame de Borodino, of which fact, and of the gambling, and
  • of the drinking, and of the going down on her knees to the Reverend Mr.
  • Muff, Ministre Anglican, and borrowing money of him, and of her coaxing
  • and flirting with Milor Noodle, son of Sir Noodle, pupil of the Rev.
  • Mr. Muff, whom she used to take into her private room, and of whom she
  • won large sums at ecarte--of which fact, I say, and of a hundred of her
  • other knaveries, the Countess de Borodino informs every English person
  • who stops at her establishment, and announces that Madame Rawdon was no
  • better than a vipere.
  • So our little wanderer went about setting up her tent in various cities
  • of Europe, as restless as Ulysses or Bampfylde Moore Carew. Her taste
  • for disrespectability grew more and more remarkable. She became a
  • perfect Bohemian ere long, herding with people whom it would make your
  • hair stand on end to meet.
  • There is no town of any mark in Europe but it has its little colony of
  • English raffs--men whose names Mr. Hemp the officer reads out
  • periodically at the Sheriffs' Court--young gentlemen of very good
  • family often, only that the latter disowns them; frequenters of
  • billiard-rooms and estaminets, patrons of foreign races and
  • gaming-tables. They people the debtors' prisons--they drink and
  • swagger--they fight and brawl--they run away without paying--they have
  • duels with French and German officers--they cheat Mr. Spooney at
  • ecarte--they get the money and drive off to Baden in magnificent
  • britzkas--they try their infallible martingale and lurk about the tables
  • with empty pockets, shabby bullies, penniless bucks, until they can
  • swindle a Jew banker with a sham bill of exchange, or find another Mr.
  • Spooney to rob. The alternations of splendour and misery which these
  • people undergo are very queer to view. Their life must be one of great
  • excitement. Becky--must it be owned?--took to this life, and took to
  • it not unkindly. She went about from town to town among these
  • Bohemians. The lucky Mrs. Rawdon was known at every play-table in
  • Germany. She and Madame de Cruchecassee kept house at Florence
  • together. It is said she was ordered out of Munich, and my friend Mr.
  • Frederick Pigeon avers that it was at her house at Lausanne that he was
  • hocussed at supper and lost eight hundred pounds to Major Loder and the
  • Honourable Mr. Deuceace. We are bound, you see, to give some account
  • of Becky's biography, but of this part, the less, perhaps, that is said
  • the better.
  • They say that, when Mrs. Crawley was particularly down on her luck, she
  • gave concerts and lessons in music here and there. There was a Madame
  • de Raudon, who certainly had a matinee musicale at Wildbad, accompanied
  • by Herr Spoff, premier pianist to the Hospodar of Wallachia, and my
  • little friend Mr. Eaves, who knew everybody and had travelled
  • everywhere, always used to declare that he was at Strasburg in the year
  • 1830, when a certain Madame Rebecque made her appearance in the opera
  • of the Dame Blanche, giving occasion to a furious row in the theatre
  • there. She was hissed off the stage by the audience, partly from her
  • own incompetency, but chiefly from the ill-advised sympathy of some
  • persons in the parquet, (where the officers of the garrison had their
  • admissions); and Eaves was certain that the unfortunate debutante in
  • question was no other than Mrs. Rawdon Crawley.
  • She was, in fact, no better than a vagabond upon this earth. When she
  • got her money she gambled; when she had gambled it she was put to
  • shifts to live; who knows how or by what means she succeeded? It is
  • said that she was once seen at St. Petersburg, but was summarily
  • dismissed from that capital by the police, so that there cannot be any
  • possibility of truth in the report that she was a Russian spy at
  • Toplitz and Vienna afterwards. I have even been informed that at Paris
  • she discovered a relation of her own, no less a person than her
  • maternal grandmother, who was not by any means a Montmorenci, but a
  • hideous old box-opener at a theatre on the Boulevards. The meeting
  • between them, of which other persons, as it is hinted elsewhere, seem
  • to have been acquainted, must have been a very affecting interview.
  • The present historian can give no certain details regarding the event.
  • It happened at Rome once that Mrs. de Rawdon's half-year's salary had
  • just been paid into the principal banker's there, and, as everybody who
  • had a balance of above five hundred scudi was invited to the balls
  • which this prince of merchants gave during the winter, Becky had the
  • honour of a card, and appeared at one of the Prince and Princess
  • Polonia's splendid evening entertainments. The Princess was of the
  • family of Pompili, lineally descended from the second king of Rome, and
  • Egeria of the house of Olympus, while the Prince's grandfather,
  • Alessandro Polonia, sold wash-balls, essences, tobacco, and
  • pocket-handkerchiefs, ran errands for gentlemen, and lent money in a
  • small way. All the great company in Rome thronged to his
  • saloons--Princes, Dukes, Ambassadors, artists, fiddlers, monsignori,
  • young bears with their leaders--every rank and condition of man. His
  • halls blazed with light and magnificence; were resplendent with gilt
  • frames (containing pictures), and dubious antiques; and the enormous
  • gilt crown and arms of the princely owner, a gold mushroom on a crimson
  • field (the colour of the pocket-handkerchiefs which he sold), and the
  • silver fountain of the Pompili family shone all over the roof, doors,
  • and panels of the house, and over the grand velvet baldaquins prepared
  • to receive Popes and Emperors.
  • So Becky, who had arrived in the diligence from Florence, and was
  • lodged at an inn in a very modest way, got a card for Prince Polonia's
  • entertainment, and her maid dressed her with unusual care, and she went
  • to this fine ball leaning on the arm of Major Loder, with whom she
  • happened to be travelling at the time--(the same man who shot Prince
  • Ravoli at Naples the next year, and was caned by Sir John Buckskin for
  • carrying four kings in his hat besides those which he used in playing
  • at ecarte )--and this pair went into the rooms together, and Becky saw
  • a number of old faces which she remembered in happier days, when she
  • was not innocent, but not found out. Major Loder knew a great number of
  • foreigners, keen-looking whiskered men with dirty striped ribbons in
  • their buttonholes, and a very small display of linen; but his own
  • countrymen, it might be remarked, eschewed the Major. Becky, too, knew
  • some ladies here and there--French widows, dubious Italian countesses,
  • whose husbands had treated them ill--faugh--what shall we say, we who
  • have moved among some of the finest company of Vanity Fair, of this
  • refuse and sediment of rascals? If we play, let it be with clean cards,
  • and not with this dirty pack. But every man who has formed one of the
  • innumerable army of travellers has seen these marauding irregulars
  • hanging on, like Nym and Pistol, to the main force, wearing the king's
  • colours and boasting of his commission, but pillaging for themselves,
  • and occasionally gibbeted by the roadside.
  • Well, she was hanging on the arm of Major Loder, and they went through
  • the rooms together, and drank a great quantity of champagne at the
  • buffet, where the people, and especially the Major's irregular corps,
  • struggled furiously for refreshments, of which when the pair had had
  • enough, they pushed on until they reached the Duchess's own pink velvet
  • saloon, at the end of the suite of apartments (where the statue of the
  • Venus is, and the great Venice looking-glasses, framed in silver), and
  • where the princely family were entertaining their most distinguished
  • guests at a round table at supper. It was just such a little select
  • banquet as that of which Becky recollected that she had partaken at
  • Lord Steyne's--and there he sat at Polonia's table, and she saw him.
  • The scar cut by the diamond on his white, bald, shining forehead made a
  • burning red mark; his red whiskers were dyed of a purple hue, which
  • made his pale face look still paler. He wore his collar and orders,
  • his blue ribbon and garter. He was a greater Prince than any there,
  • though there was a reigning Duke and a Royal Highness, with their
  • princesses, and near his Lordship was seated the beautiful Countess of
  • Belladonna, nee de Glandier, whose husband (the Count Paolo della
  • Belladonna), so well known for his brilliant entomological collections,
  • had been long absent on a mission to the Emperor of Morocco.
  • When Becky beheld that familiar and illustrious face, how vulgar all of
  • a sudden did Major Loder appear to her, and how that odious Captain
  • Rook did smell of tobacco! In one instant she reassumed her
  • fine-ladyship and tried to look and feel as if she were in May Fair
  • once more. "That woman looks stupid and ill-humoured," she thought; "I
  • am sure she can't amuse him. No, he must be bored by her--he never was
  • by me." A hundred such touching hopes, fears, and memories palpitated
  • in her little heart, as she looked with her brightest eyes (the rouge
  • which she wore up to her eyelids made them twinkle) towards the great
  • nobleman. Of a Star and Garter night Lord Steyne used also to put on
  • his grandest manner and to look and speak like a great prince, as he
  • was. Becky admired him smiling sumptuously, easy, lofty, and stately.
  • Ah, bon Dieu, what a pleasant companion he was, what a brilliant wit,
  • what a rich fund of talk, what a grand manner!--and she had exchanged
  • this for Major Loder, reeking of cigars and brandy-and-water, and
  • Captain Rook with his horsejockey jokes and prize-ring slang, and their
  • like. "I wonder whether he will know me," she thought. Lord Steyne
  • was talking and laughing with a great and illustrious lady at his side,
  • when he looked up and saw Becky.
  • She was all over in a flutter as their eyes met, and she put on the
  • very best smile she could muster, and dropped him a little, timid,
  • imploring curtsey. He stared aghast at her for a minute, as Macbeth
  • might on beholding Banquo's sudden appearance at his ball-supper, and
  • remained looking at her with open mouth, when that horrid Major Loder
  • pulled her away.
  • "Come away into the supper-room, Mrs. R.," was that gentleman's remark:
  • "seeing these nobs grubbing away has made me peckish too. Let's go and
  • try the old governor's champagne." Becky thought the Major had had a
  • great deal too much already.
  • The day after she went to walk on the Pincian Hill--the Hyde Park of
  • the Roman idlers--possibly in hopes to have another sight of Lord
  • Steyne. But she met another acquaintance there: it was Mr. Fiche, his
  • lordship's confidential man, who came up nodding to her rather
  • familiarly and putting a finger to his hat. "I knew that Madame was
  • here," he said; "I followed her from her hotel. I have some advice to
  • give Madame."
  • "From the Marquis of Steyne?" Becky asked, resuming as much of her
  • dignity as she could muster, and not a little agitated by hope and
  • expectation.
  • "No," said the valet; "it is from me. Rome is very unwholesome."
  • "Not at this season, Monsieur Fiche--not till after Easter."
  • "I tell Madame it is unwholesome now. There is always malaria for some
  • people. That cursed marsh wind kills many at all seasons. Look, Madame
  • Crawley, you were always bon enfant, and I have an interest in you,
  • parole d'honneur. Be warned. Go away from Rome, I tell you--or you
  • will be ill and die."
  • Becky laughed, though in rage and fury. "What! assassinate poor little
  • me?" she said. "How romantic! Does my lord carry bravos for couriers,
  • and stilettos in the fourgons? Bah! I will stay, if but to plague him.
  • I have those who will defend me whilst I am here."
  • It was Monsieur Fiche's turn to laugh now. "Defend you," he said, "and
  • who? The Major, the Captain, any one of those gambling men whom Madame
  • sees would take her life for a hundred louis. We know things about
  • Major Loder (he is no more a Major than I am my Lord the Marquis) which
  • would send him to the galleys or worse. We know everything and have
  • friends everywhere. We know whom you saw at Paris, and what relations
  • you found there. Yes, Madame may stare, but we do. How was it that no
  • minister on the Continent would receive Madame? She has offended
  • somebody: who never forgives--whose rage redoubled when he saw you.
  • He was like a madman last night when he came home. Madame de
  • Belladonna made him a scene about you and fired off in one of her
  • furies."
  • "Oh, it was Madame de Belladonna, was it?" Becky said, relieved a
  • little, for the information she had just got had scared her.
  • "No--she does not matter--she is always jealous. I tell you it was
  • Monseigneur. You did wrong to show yourself to him. And if you stay
  • here you will repent it. Mark my words. Go. Here is my lord's
  • carriage"--and seizing Becky's arm, he rushed down an alley of the
  • garden as Lord Steyne's barouche, blazing with heraldic devices, came
  • whirling along the avenue, borne by the almost priceless horses, and
  • bearing Madame de Belladonna lolling on the cushions, dark, sulky, and
  • blooming, a King Charles in her lap, a white parasol swaying over her
  • head, and old Steyne stretched at her side with a livid face and
  • ghastly eyes. Hate, or anger, or desire caused them to brighten now
  • and then still, but ordinarily, they gave no light, and seemed tired of
  • looking out on a world of which almost all the pleasure and all the
  • best beauty had palled upon the worn-out wicked old man.
  • "Monseigneur has never recovered the shock of that night, never,"
  • Monsieur Fiche whispered to Mrs. Crawley as the carriage flashed by,
  • and she peeped out at it from behind the shrubs that hid her. "That
  • was a consolation at any rate," Becky thought.
  • Whether my lord really had murderous intentions towards Mrs. Becky as
  • Monsieur Fiche said (since Monseigneur's death he has returned to his
  • native country, where he lives much respected, and has purchased from
  • his Prince the title of Baron Ficci), and the factotum objected to have
  • to do with assassination; or whether he simply had a commission to
  • frighten Mrs. Crawley out of a city where his Lordship proposed to pass
  • the winter, and the sight of her would be eminently disagreeable to the
  • great nobleman, is a point which has never been ascertained: but the
  • threat had its effect upon the little woman, and she sought no more to
  • intrude herself upon the presence of her old patron.
  • Everybody knows the melancholy end of that nobleman, which befell at
  • Naples two months after the French Revolution of 1830; when the Most
  • Honourable George Gustavus, Marquis of Steyne, Earl of Gaunt and of
  • Gaunt Castle, in the Peerage of Ireland, Viscount Hellborough, Baron
  • Pitchley and Grillsby, a Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Garter,
  • of the Golden Fleece of Spain, of the Russian Order of Saint Nicholas
  • of the First Class, of the Turkish Order of the Crescent, First Lord of
  • the Powder Closet and Groom of the Back Stairs, Colonel of the Gaunt or
  • Regent's Own Regiment of Militia, a Trustee of the British Museum, an
  • Elder Brother of the Trinity House, a Governor of the White Friars, and
  • D.C.L.--died after a series of fits brought on, as the papers said, by
  • the shock occasioned to his lordship's sensibilities by the downfall of
  • the ancient French monarchy.
  • An eloquent catalogue appeared in a weekly print, describing his
  • virtues, his magnificence, his talents, and his good actions. His
  • sensibility, his attachment to the illustrious House of Bourbon, with
  • which he claimed an alliance, were such that he could not survive the
  • misfortunes of his august kinsmen. His body was buried at Naples, and
  • his heart--that heart which always beat with every generous and noble
  • emotion was brought back to Castle Gaunt in a silver urn. "In him,"
  • Mr. Wagg said, "the poor and the Fine Arts have lost a beneficent
  • patron, society one of its most brilliant ornaments, and England one of
  • her loftiest patriots and statesmen," &c., &c.
  • His will was a good deal disputed, and an attempt was made to force
  • from Madame de Belladonna the celebrated jewel called the "Jew's-eye"
  • diamond, which his lordship always wore on his forefinger, and which it
  • was said that she removed from it after his lamented demise. But his
  • confidential friend and attendant, Monsieur Fiche proved that the ring
  • had been presented to the said Madame de Belladonna two days before the
  • Marquis's death, as were the bank-notes, jewels, Neapolitan and French
  • bonds, &c., found in his lordship's secretaire and claimed by his heirs
  • from that injured woman.
  • CHAPTER LXV
  • Full of Business and Pleasure
  • The day after the meeting at the play-table, Jos had himself arrayed
  • with unusual care and splendour, and without thinking it necessary to
  • say a word to any member of his family regarding the occurrences of the
  • previous night, or asking for their company in his walk, he sallied
  • forth at an early hour, and was presently seen making inquiries at the
  • door of the Elephant Hotel. In consequence of the fetes the house was
  • full of company, the tables in the street were already surrounded by
  • persons smoking and drinking the national small-beer, the public rooms
  • were in a cloud of smoke, and Mr. Jos having, in his pompous way, and
  • with his clumsy German, made inquiries for the person of whom he was in
  • search, was directed to the very top of the house, above the
  • first-floor rooms where some travelling pedlars had lived, and were
  • exhibiting their jewellery and brocades; above the second-floor
  • apartments occupied by the etat major of the gambling firm; above the
  • third-floor rooms, tenanted by the band of renowned Bohemian vaulters
  • and tumblers; and so on to the little cabins of the roof, where, among
  • students, bagmen, small tradesmen, and country-folks come in for the
  • festival, Becky had found a little nest--as dirty a little refuge as
  • ever beauty lay hid in.
  • Becky liked the life. She was at home with everybody in the place,
  • pedlars, punters, tumblers, students and all. She was of a wild, roving
  • nature, inherited from father and mother, who were both Bohemians, by
  • taste and circumstance; if a lord was not by, she would talk to his
  • courier with the greatest pleasure; the din, the stir, the drink, the
  • smoke, the tattle of the Hebrew pedlars, the solemn, braggart ways of
  • the poor tumblers, the sournois talk of the gambling-table officials,
  • the songs and swagger of the students, and the general buzz and hum of
  • the place had pleased and tickled the little woman, even when her luck
  • was down and she had not wherewithal to pay her bill. How pleasant was
  • all the bustle to her now that her purse was full of the money which
  • little Georgy had won for her the night before!
  • As Jos came creaking and puffing up the final stairs, and was
  • speechless when he got to the landing, and began to wipe his face and
  • then to look for No. 92, the room where he was directed to seek for the
  • person he wanted, the door of the opposite chamber, No. 90, was open,
  • and a student, in jack-boots and a dirty schlafrock, was lying on the
  • bed smoking a long pipe; whilst another student in long yellow hair and
  • a braided coat, exceeding smart and dirty too, was actually on his
  • knees at No. 92, bawling through the keyhole supplications to the
  • person within.
  • "Go away," said a well-known voice, which made Jos thrill, "I expect
  • somebody; I expect my grandpapa. He mustn't see you there."
  • "Angel Englanderinn!" bellowed the kneeling student with the whity-brown
  • ringlets and the large finger-ring, "do take compassion upon us.
  • Make an appointment. Dine with me and Fritz at the inn in the park. We
  • will have roast pheasants and porter, plum-pudding and French wine. We
  • shall die if you don't."
  • "That we will," said the young nobleman on the bed; and this colloquy
  • Jos overheard, though he did not comprehend it, for the reason that he
  • had never studied the language in which it was carried on.
  • "Newmero kattervang dooze, si vous plait," Jos said in his grandest
  • manner, when he was able to speak.
  • "Quater fang tooce!" said the student, starting up, and he bounced into
  • his own room, where he locked the door, and where Jos heard him
  • laughing with his comrade on the bed.
  • The gentleman from Bengal was standing, disconcerted by this incident,
  • when the door of the 92 opened of itself and Becky's little head peeped
  • out full of archness and mischief. She lighted on Jos. "It's you,"
  • she said, coming out. "How I have been waiting for you! Stop! not
  • yet--in one minute you shall come in." In that instant she put a
  • rouge-pot, a brandy bottle, and a plate of broken meat into the bed,
  • gave one smooth to her hair, and finally let in her visitor.
  • She had, by way of morning robe, a pink domino, a trifle faded and
  • soiled, and marked here and there with pomaturn; but her arms shone out
  • from the loose sleeves of the dress very white and fair, and it was
  • tied round her little waist so as not ill to set off the trim little
  • figure of the wearer. She led Jos by the hand into her garret. "Come
  • in," she said. "Come and talk to me. Sit yonder on the chair"; and
  • she gave the civilian's hand a little squeeze and laughingly placed him
  • upon it. As for herself, she placed herself on the bed--not on the
  • bottle and plate, you may be sure--on which Jos might have reposed, had
  • he chosen that seat; and so there she sat and talked with her old
  • admirer. "How little years have changed you," she said with a look of
  • tender interest. "I should have known you anywhere. What a comfort it
  • is amongst strangers to see once more the frank honest face of an old
  • friend!"
  • The frank honest face, to tell the truth, at this moment bore any
  • expression but one of openness and honesty: it was, on the contrary,
  • much perturbed and puzzled in look. Jos was surveying the queer little
  • apartment in which he found his old flame. One of her gowns hung over
  • the bed, another depending from a hook of the door; her bonnet obscured
  • half the looking-glass, on which, too, lay the prettiest little pair of
  • bronze boots; a French novel was on the table by the bedside, with a
  • candle, not of wax. Becky thought of popping that into the bed too,
  • but she only put in the little paper night-cap with which she had put
  • the candle out on going to sleep.
  • "I should have known you anywhere," she continued; "a woman never
  • forgets some things. And you were the first man I ever--I ever saw."
  • "Was I really?" said Jos. "God bless my soul, you--you don't say so."
  • "When I came with your sister from Chiswick, I was scarcely more than a
  • child," Becky said. "How is that, dear love? Oh, her husband was a sad
  • wicked man, and of course it was of me that the poor dear was jealous.
  • As if I cared about him, heigho! when there was somebody--but
  • no--don't let us talk of old times"; and she passed her handkerchief
  • with the tattered lace across her eyelids.
  • "Is not this a strange place," she continued, "for a woman, who has
  • lived in a very different world too, to be found in? I have had so many
  • griefs and wrongs, Joseph Sedley; I have been made to suffer so cruelly
  • that I am almost made mad sometimes. I can't stay still in any place,
  • but wander about always restless and unhappy. All my friends have been
  • false to me--all. There is no such thing as an honest man in the
  • world. I was the truest wife that ever lived, though I married my
  • husband out of pique, because somebody else--but never mind that. I
  • was true, and he trampled upon me and deserted me. I was the fondest
  • mother. I had but one child, one darling, one hope, one joy, which I
  • held to my heart with a mother's affection, which was my life, my
  • prayer, my--my blessing; and they--they tore it from me--tore it from
  • me"; and she put her hand to her heart with a passionate gesture of
  • despair, burying her face for a moment on the bed.
  • The brandy-bottle inside clinked up against the plate which held the
  • cold sausage. Both were moved, no doubt, by the exhibition of so much
  • grief. Max and Fritz were at the door, listening with wonder to Mrs.
  • Becky's sobs and cries. Jos, too, was a good deal frightened and
  • affected at seeing his old flame in this condition. And she began,
  • forthwith, to tell her story--a tale so neat, simple, and artless that
  • it was quite evident from hearing her that if ever there was a
  • white-robed angel escaped from heaven to be subject to the infernal
  • machinations and villainy of fiends here below, that spotless
  • being--that miserable unsullied martyr, was present on the bed before
  • Jos--on the bed, sitting on the brandy-bottle.
  • They had a very long, amicable, and confidential talk there, in the
  • course of which Jos Sedley was somehow made aware (but in a manner that
  • did not in the least scare or offend him) that Becky's heart had first
  • learned to beat at his enchanting presence; that George Osborne had
  • certainly paid an unjustifiable court to HER, which might account for
  • Amelia's jealousy and their little rupture; but that Becky never gave
  • the least encouragement to the unfortunate officer, and that she had
  • never ceased to think about Jos from the very first day she had seen
  • him, though, of course, her duties as a married woman were
  • paramount--duties which she had always preserved, and would, to her
  • dying day, or until the proverbially bad climate in which Colonel
  • Crawley was living should release her from a yoke which his cruelty had
  • rendered odious to her.
  • Jos went away, convinced that she was the most virtuous, as she was one
  • of the most fascinating of women, and revolving in his mind all sorts
  • of benevolent schemes for her welfare. Her persecutions ought to be
  • ended: she ought to return to the society of which she was an ornament.
  • He would see what ought to be done. She must quit that place and take
  • a quiet lodging. Amelia must come and see her and befriend her. He
  • would go and settle about it, and consult with the Major. She wept
  • tears of heart-felt gratitude as she parted from him, and pressed his
  • hand as the gallant stout gentleman stooped down to kiss hers.
  • So Becky bowed Jos out of her little garret with as much grace as if it
  • was a palace of which she did the honours; and that heavy gentleman
  • having disappeared down the stairs, Max and Fritz came out of their
  • hole, pipe in mouth, and she amused herself by mimicking Jos to them as
  • she munched her cold bread and sausage and took draughts of her
  • favourite brandy-and-water.
  • Jos walked over to Dobbin's lodgings with great solemnity and there
  • imparted to him the affecting history with which he had just been made
  • acquainted, without, however, mentioning the play business of the night
  • before. And the two gentlemen were laying their heads together and
  • consulting as to the best means of being useful to Mrs. Becky, while
  • she was finishing her interrupted dejeuner a la fourchette.
  • How was it that she had come to that little town? How was it that she
  • had no friends and was wandering about alone? Little boys at school are
  • taught in their earliest Latin book that the path of Avernus is very
  • easy of descent. Let us skip over the interval in the history of her
  • downward progress. She was not worse now than she had been in the days
  • of her prosperity--only a little down on her luck.
  • As for Mrs. Amelia, she was a woman of such a soft and foolish
  • disposition that when she heard of anybody unhappy, her heart
  • straightway melted towards the sufferer; and as she had never thought
  • or done anything mortally guilty herself, she had not that abhorrence
  • for wickedness which distinguishes moralists much more knowing. If she
  • spoiled everybody who came near her with kindness and compliments--if
  • she begged pardon of all her servants for troubling them to answer the
  • bell--if she apologized to a shopboy who showed her a piece of silk, or
  • made a curtsey to a street-sweeper with a complimentary remark upon
  • the elegant state of his crossing--and she was almost capable of every
  • one of these follies--the notion that an old acquaintance was
  • miserable was sure to soften her heart; nor would she hear of anybody's
  • being deservedly unhappy. A world under such legislation as hers would
  • not be a very orderly place of abode; but there are not many women, at
  • least not of the rulers, who are of her sort. This lady, I believe,
  • would have abolished all gaols, punishments, handcuffs, whippings,
  • poverty, sickness, hunger, in the world, and was such a mean-spirited
  • creature that--we are obliged to confess it--she could even forget a
  • mortal injury.
  • When the Major heard from Jos of the sentimental adventure which had
  • just befallen the latter, he was not, it must be owned, nearly as much
  • interested as the gentleman from Bengal. On the contrary, his
  • excitement was quite the reverse from a pleasurable one; he made use of
  • a brief but improper expression regarding a poor woman in distress,
  • saying, in fact, "The little minx, has she come to light again?" He
  • never had had the slightest liking for her, but had heartily mistrusted
  • her from the very first moment when her green eyes had looked at, and
  • turned away from, his own.
  • "That little devil brings mischief wherever she goes," the Major said
  • disrespectfully. "Who knows what sort of life she has been leading?
  • And what business has she here abroad and alone? Don't tell me about
  • persecutors and enemies; an honest woman always has friends and never
  • is separated from her family. Why has she left her husband? He may
  • have been disreputable and wicked, as you say. He always was. I
  • remember the confounded blackleg and the way in which he used to cheat
  • and hoodwink poor George. Wasn't there a scandal about their
  • separation? I think I heard something," cried out Major Dobbin, who did
  • not care much about gossip, and whom Jos tried in vain to convince that
  • Mrs. Becky was in all respects a most injured and virtuous female.
  • "Well, well; let's ask Mrs. George," said that arch-diplomatist of a
  • Major. "Only let us go and consult her. I suppose you will allow that
  • she is a good judge at any rate, and knows what is right in such
  • matters."
  • "Hm! Emmy is very well," said Jos, who did not happen to be in love
  • with his sister.
  • "Very well? By Gad, sir, she's the finest lady I ever met in my life,"
  • bounced out the Major. "I say at once, let us go and ask her if this
  • woman ought to be visited or not--I will be content with her verdict."
  • Now this odious, artful rogue of a Major was thinking in his own mind
  • that he was sure of his case. Emmy, he remembered, was at one time
  • cruelly and deservedly jealous of Rebecca, never mentioned her name but
  • with a shrinking and terror--a jealous woman never forgives, thought
  • Dobbin: and so the pair went across the street to Mrs. George's house,
  • where she was contentedly warbling at a music lesson with Madame
  • Strumpff.
  • When that lady took her leave, Jos opened the business with his usual
  • pomp of words. "Amelia, my dear," said he, "I have just had the most
  • extraordinary--yes--God bless my soul! the most extraordinary
  • adventure--an old friend--yes, a most interesting old friend of yours,
  • and I may say in old times, has just arrived here, and I should like
  • you to see her."
  • "Her!" said Amelia, "who is it? Major Dobbin, if you please not to
  • break my scissors." The Major was twirling them round by the little
  • chain from which they sometimes hung to their lady's waist, and was
  • thereby endangering his own eye.
  • "It is a woman whom I dislike very much," said the Major, doggedly, "and
  • whom you have no cause to love."
  • "It is Rebecca, I'm sure it is Rebecca," Amelia said, blushing and
  • being very much agitated.
  • "You are right; you always are," Dobbin answered. Brussels, Waterloo,
  • old, old times, griefs, pangs, remembrances, rushed back into Amelia's
  • gentle heart and caused a cruel agitation there.
  • "Don't let me see her," Emmy continued. "I couldn't see her."
  • "I told you so," Dobbin said to Jos.
  • "She is very unhappy, and--and that sort of thing," Jos urged. "She is
  • very poor and unprotected, and has been ill--exceedingly ill--and that
  • scoundrel of a husband has deserted her."
  • "Ah!" said Amelia.
  • "She hasn't a friend in the world," Jos went on, not undexterously,
  • "and she said she thought she might trust in you. She's so miserable,
  • Emmy. She has been almost mad with grief. Her story quite affected
  • me--'pon my word and honour, it did--never was such a cruel persecution
  • borne so angelically, I may say. Her family has been most cruel to
  • her."
  • "Poor creature!" Amelia said.
  • "And if she can get no friend, she says she thinks she'll die," Jos
  • proceeded in a low tremulous voice. "God bless my soul! do you know
  • that she tried to kill herself? She carries laudanum with her--I saw
  • the bottle in her room--such a miserable little room--at a third-rate
  • house, the Elephant, up in the roof at the top of all. I went there."
  • This did not seem to affect Emmy. She even smiled a little. Perhaps
  • she figured Jos to herself panting up the stair.
  • "She's beside herself with grief," he resumed. "The agonies that woman
  • has endured are quite frightful to hear of. She had a little boy, of
  • the same age as Georgy."
  • "Yes, yes, I think I remember," Emmy remarked. "Well?"
  • "The most beautiful child ever seen," Jos said, who was very fat, and
  • easily moved, and had been touched by the story Becky told; "a perfect
  • angel, who adored his mother. The ruffians tore him shrieking out of
  • her arms, and have never allowed him to see her."
  • "Dear Joseph," Emmy cried out, starting up at once, "let us go and see
  • her this minute." And she ran into her adjoining bedchamber, tied on
  • her bonnet in a flutter, came out with her shawl on her arm, and
  • ordered Dobbin to follow.
  • He went and put her shawl--it was a white cashmere, consigned to her by
  • the Major himself from India--over her shoulders. He saw there was
  • nothing for it but to obey, and she put her hand into his arm, and they
  • went away.
  • "It is number 92, up four pair of stairs," Jos said, perhaps not very
  • willing to ascend the steps again; but he placed himself in the window
  • of his drawing-room, which commands the place on which the Elephant
  • stands, and saw the pair marching through the market.
  • It was as well that Becky saw them too from her garret, for she and the
  • two students were chattering and laughing there; they had been joking
  • about the appearance of Becky's grandpapa--whose arrival and departure
  • they had witnessed--but she had time to dismiss them, and have her
  • little room clear before the landlord of the Elephant, who knew that
  • Mrs. Osborne was a great favourite at the Serene Court, and respected
  • her accordingly, led the way up the stairs to the roof story,
  • encouraging Miladi and the Herr Major as they achieved the ascent.
  • "Gracious lady, gracious lady!" said the landlord, knocking at Becky's
  • door; he had called her Madame the day before, and was by no means
  • courteous to her.
  • "Who is it?" Becky said, putting out her head, and she gave a little
  • scream. There stood Emmy in a tremble, and Dobbin, the tall Major,
  • with his cane.
  • He stood still watching, and very much interested at the scene; but
  • Emmy sprang forward with open arms towards Rebecca, and forgave her at
  • that moment, and embraced her and kissed her with all her heart. Ah,
  • poor wretch, when was your lip pressed before by such pure kisses?
  • CHAPTER LXVI
  • Amantium Irae
  • Frankness and kindness like Amelia's were likely to touch even such a
  • hardened little reprobate as Becky. She returned Emmy's caresses and
  • kind speeches with something very like gratitude, and an emotion which,
  • if it was not lasting, for a moment was almost genuine. That was a
  • lucky stroke of hers about the child "torn from her arms shrieking." It
  • was by that harrowing misfortune that Becky had won her friend back,
  • and it was one of the very first points, we may be certain, upon which
  • our poor simple little Emmy began to talk to her new-found acquaintance.
  • "And so they took your darling child from you?" our simpleton cried
  • out. "Oh, Rebecca, my poor dear suffering friend, I know what it is to
  • lose a boy, and to feel for those who have lost one. But please Heaven
  • yours will be restored to you, as a merciful merciful Providence has
  • brought me back mine."
  • "The child, my child? Oh, yes, my agonies were frightful," Becky owned,
  • not perhaps without a twinge of conscience. It jarred upon her to be
  • obliged to commence instantly to tell lies in reply to so much
  • confidence and simplicity. But that is the misfortune of beginning
  • with this kind of forgery. When one fib becomes due as it were, you
  • must forge another to take up the old acceptance; and so the stock of
  • your lies in circulation inevitably multiplies, and the danger of
  • detection increases every day.
  • "My agonies," Becky continued, "were terrible (I hope she won't sit
  • down on the bottle) when they took him away from me; I thought I should
  • die; but I fortunately had a brain fever, during which my doctor gave
  • me up, and--and I recovered, and--and here I am, poor and friendless."
  • "How old is he?" Emmy asked.
  • "Eleven," said Becky.
  • "Eleven!" cried the other. "Why, he was born the same year with
  • Georgy, who is--"
  • "I know, I know," Becky cried out, who had in fact quite forgotten all
  • about little Rawdon's age. "Grief has made me forget so many things,
  • dearest Amelia. I am very much changed: half-wild sometimes. He was
  • eleven when they took him away from me. Bless his sweet face; I have
  • never seen it again."
  • "Was he fair or dark?" went on that absurd little Emmy. "Show me his
  • hair."
  • Becky almost laughed at her simplicity. "Not to-day, love--some other
  • time, when my trunks arrive from Leipzig, whence I came to this
  • place--and a little drawing of him, which I made in happy days."
  • "Poor Becky, poor Becky!" said Emmy. "How thankful, how thankful I
  • ought to be"; (though I doubt whether that practice of piety inculcated
  • upon us by our womankind in early youth, namely, to be thankful because
  • we are better off than somebody else, be a very rational religious
  • exercise) and then she began to think, as usual, how her son was the
  • handsomest, the best, and the cleverest boy in the whole world.
  • "You will see my Georgy," was the best thing Emmy could think of to
  • console Becky. If anything could make her comfortable that would.
  • And so the two women continued talking for an hour or more, during
  • which Becky had the opportunity of giving her new friend a full and
  • complete version of her private history. She showed how her marriage
  • with Rawdon Crawley had always been viewed by the family with feelings
  • of the utmost hostility; how her sister-in-law (an artful woman) had
  • poisoned her husband's mind against her; how he had formed odious
  • connections, which had estranged his affections from her: how she had
  • borne everything--poverty, neglect, coldness from the being whom she
  • most loved--and all for the sake of her child; how, finally, and by the
  • most flagrant outrage, she had been driven into demanding a separation
  • from her husband, when the wretch did not scruple to ask that she
  • should sacrifice her own fair fame so that he might procure advancement
  • through the means of a very great and powerful but unprincipled
  • man--the Marquis of Steyne, indeed. The atrocious monster!
  • This part of her eventful history Becky gave with the utmost feminine
  • delicacy and the most indignant virtue. Forced to fly her husband's
  • roof by this insult, the coward had pursued his revenge by taking her
  • child from her. And thus Becky said she was a wanderer, poor,
  • unprotected, friendless, and wretched.
  • Emmy received this story, which was told at some length, as those
  • persons who are acquainted with her character may imagine that she
  • would. She quivered with indignation at the account of the conduct of
  • the miserable Rawdon and the unprincipled Steyne. Her eyes made notes
  • of admiration for every one of the sentences in which Becky described
  • the persecutions of her aristocratic relatives and the falling away of
  • her husband. (Becky did not abuse him. She spoke rather in sorrow than
  • in anger. She had loved him only too fondly: and was he not the father
  • of her boy?) And as for the separation scene from the child, while
  • Becky was reciting it, Emmy retired altogether behind her
  • pocket-handkerchief, so that the consummate little tragedian must have
  • been charmed to see the effect which her performance produced on her
  • audience.
  • Whilst the ladies were carrying on their conversation, Amelia's
  • constant escort, the Major (who, of course, did not wish to interrupt
  • their conference, and found himself rather tired of creaking about the
  • narrow stair passage of which the roof brushed the nap from his hat)
  • descended to the ground-floor of the house and into the great room
  • common to all the frequenters of the Elephant, out of which the stair
  • led. This apartment is always in a fume of smoke and liberally
  • sprinkled with beer. On a dirty table stand scores of corresponding
  • brass candlesticks with tallow candles for the lodgers, whose keys hang
  • up in rows over the candles. Emmy had passed blushing through the room
  • anon, where all sorts of people were collected; Tyrolese glove-sellers
  • and Danubian linen-merchants, with their packs; students recruiting
  • themselves with butterbrods and meat; idlers, playing cards or dominoes
  • on the sloppy, beery tables; tumblers refreshing during the cessation
  • of their performances--in a word, all the fumum and strepitus of a
  • German inn in fair time. The waiter brought the Major a mug of beer,
  • as a matter of course, and he took out a cigar and amused himself with
  • that pernicious vegetable and a newspaper until his charge should come
  • down to claim him.
  • Max and Fritz came presently downstairs, their caps on one side, their
  • spurs jingling, their pipes splendid with coats of arms and full-blown
  • tassels, and they hung up the key of No. 90 on the board and called for
  • the ration of butterbrod and beer. The pair sat down by the Major and
  • fell into a conversation of which he could not help hearing somewhat.
  • It was mainly about "Fuchs" and "Philister," and duels and
  • drinking-bouts at the neighbouring University of Schoppenhausen, from
  • which renowned seat of learning they had just come in the Eilwagen,
  • with Becky, as it appeared, by their side, and in order to be present
  • at the bridal fetes at Pumpernickel.
  • "The title Englanderinn seems to be en bays de gonnoisance," said Max,
  • who knew the French language, to Fritz, his comrade. "After the fat
  • grandfather went away, there came a pretty little compatriot. I heard
  • them chattering and whimpering together in the little woman's chamber."
  • "We must take the tickets for her concert," Fritz said. "Hast thou any
  • money, Max?"
  • "Bah," said the other, "the concert is a concert in nubibus. Hans said
  • that she advertised one at Leipzig, and the Burschen took many tickets.
  • But she went off without singing. She said in the coach yesterday that
  • her pianist had fallen ill at Dresden. She cannot sing, it is my
  • belief: her voice is as cracked as thine, O thou beer-soaking Renowner!"
  • "It is cracked; I hear her trying out of her window a schrecklich
  • English ballad, called 'De Rose upon de Balgony.'"
  • "Saufen and singen go not together," observed Fritz with the red nose,
  • who evidently preferred the former amusement. "No, thou shalt take
  • none of her tickets. She won money at the trente and quarante last
  • night. I saw her: she made a little English boy play for her. We will
  • spend thy money there or at the theatre, or we will treat her to French
  • wine or Cognac in the Aurelius Garden, but the tickets we will not buy.
  • What sayest thou? Yet, another mug of beer?" and one and another
  • successively having buried their blond whiskers in the mawkish draught,
  • curled them and swaggered off into the fair.
  • The Major, who had seen the key of No. 90 put up on its hook and had
  • heard the conversation of the two young University bloods, was not at a
  • loss to understand that their talk related to Becky. "The little devil
  • is at her old tricks," he thought, and he smiled as he recalled old
  • days, when he had witnessed the desperate flirtation with Jos and the
  • ludicrous end of that adventure. He and George had often laughed over
  • it subsequently, and until a few weeks after George's marriage, when he
  • also was caught in the little Circe's toils, and had an understanding
  • with her which his comrade certainly suspected, but preferred to
  • ignore. William was too much hurt or ashamed to ask to fathom that
  • disgraceful mystery, although once, and evidently with remorse on his
  • mind, George had alluded to it. It was on the morning of Waterloo, as
  • the young men stood together in front of their line, surveying the
  • black masses of Frenchmen who crowned the opposite heights, and as the
  • rain was coming down, "I have been mixing in a foolish intrigue with a
  • woman," George said. "I am glad we were marched away. If I drop, I
  • hope Emmy will never know of that business. I wish to God it had never
  • been begun!" And William was pleased to think, and had more than once
  • soothed poor George's widow with the narrative, that Osborne, after
  • quitting his wife, and after the action of Quatre Bras, on the first
  • day, spoke gravely and affectionately to his comrade of his father and
  • his wife. On these facts, too, William had insisted very strongly in
  • his conversations with the elder Osborne, and had thus been the means
  • of reconciling the old gentleman to his son's memory, just at the close
  • of the elder man's life.
  • "And so this devil is still going on with her intrigues," thought
  • William. "I wish she were a hundred miles from here. She brings
  • mischief wherever she goes." And he was pursuing these forebodings and
  • this uncomfortable train of thought, with his head between his hands,
  • and the Pumpernickel Gazette of last week unread under his nose, when
  • somebody tapped his shoulder with a parasol, and he looked up and saw
  • Mrs. Amelia.
  • This woman had a way of tyrannizing over Major Dobbin (for the weakest
  • of all people will domineer over somebody), and she ordered him about,
  • and patted him, and made him fetch and carry just as if he was a great
  • Newfoundland dog. He liked, so to speak, to jump into the water if she
  • said "High, Dobbin!" and to trot behind her with her reticule in his
  • mouth. This history has been written to very little purpose if the
  • reader has not perceived that the Major was a spooney.
  • "Why did you not wait for me, sir, to escort me downstairs?" she said,
  • giving a little toss of her head and a most sarcastic curtsey.
  • "I couldn't stand up in the passage," he answered with a comical
  • deprecatory look; and, delighted to give her his arm and to take her
  • out of the horrid smoky place, he would have walked off without even so
  • much as remembering the waiter, had not the young fellow run after him
  • and stopped him on the threshold of the Elephant to make him pay for
  • the beer which he had not consumed. Emmy laughed: she called him a
  • naughty man, who wanted to run away in debt, and, in fact, made some
  • jokes suitable to the occasion and the small-beer. She was in high
  • spirits and good humour, and tripped across the market-place very
  • briskly. She wanted to see Jos that instant. The Major laughed at the
  • impetuous affection Mrs. Amelia exhibited; for, in truth, it was not
  • very often that she wanted her brother "that instant." They found the
  • civilian in his saloon on the first-floor; he had been pacing the room,
  • and biting his nails, and looking over the market-place towards the
  • Elephant a hundred times at least during the past hour whilst Emmy was
  • closeted with her friend in the garret and the Major was beating the
  • tattoo on the sloppy tables of the public room below, and he was, on
  • his side too, very anxious to see Mrs. Osborne.
  • "Well?" said he.
  • "The poor dear creature, how she has suffered!" Emmy said.
  • "God bless my soul, yes," Jos said, wagging his head, so that his
  • cheeks quivered like jellies.
  • "She may have Payne's room, who can go upstairs," Emmy continued. Payne
  • was a staid English maid and personal attendant upon Mrs. Osborne, to
  • whom the courier, as in duty bound, paid court, and whom Georgy used to
  • "lark" dreadfully with accounts of German robbers and ghosts. She
  • passed her time chiefly in grumbling, in ordering about her mistress,
  • and in stating her intention to return the next morning to her native
  • village of Clapham. "She may have Payne's room," Emmy said.
  • "Why, you don't mean to say you are going to have that woman into the
  • house?" bounced out the Major, jumping up.
  • "Of course we are," said Amelia in the most innocent way in the world.
  • "Don't be angry and break the furniture, Major Dobbin. Of course we
  • are going to have her here."
  • "Of course, my dear," Jos said.
  • "The poor creature, after all her sufferings," Emmy continued; "her
  • horrid banker broken and run away; her husband--wicked wretch--having
  • deserted her and taken her child away from her" (here she doubled her
  • two little fists and held them in a most menacing attitude before her,
  • so that the Major was charmed to see such a dauntless virago) "the poor
  • dear thing! quite alone and absolutely forced to give lessons in
  • singing to get her bread--and not have her here!"
  • "Take lessons, my dear Mrs. George," cried the Major, "but don't have
  • her in the house. I implore you don't."
  • "Pooh," said Jos.
  • "You who are always good and kind--always used to be at any rate--I'm
  • astonished at you, Major William," Amelia cried. "Why, what is the
  • moment to help her but when she is so miserable? Now is the time to be
  • of service to her. The oldest friend I ever had, and not--"
  • "She was not always your friend, Amelia," the Major said, for he was
  • quite angry. This allusion was too much for Emmy, who, looking the
  • Major almost fiercely in the face, said, "For shame, Major Dobbin!" and
  • after having fired this shot, she walked out of the room with a most
  • majestic air and shut her own door briskly on herself and her outraged
  • dignity.
  • "To allude to THAT!" she said, when the door was closed. "Oh, it was
  • cruel of him to remind me of it," and she looked up at George's
  • picture, which hung there as usual, with the portrait of the boy
  • underneath. "It was cruel of him. If I had forgiven it, ought he to
  • have spoken? No. And it is from his own lips that I know how wicked
  • and groundless my jealousy was; and that you were pure--oh, yes, you
  • were pure, my saint in heaven!"
  • She paced the room, trembling and indignant. She went and leaned on
  • the chest of drawers over which the picture hung, and gazed and gazed
  • at it. Its eyes seemed to look down on her with a reproach that
  • deepened as she looked. The early dear, dear memories of that brief
  • prime of love rushed back upon her. The wound which years had scarcely
  • cicatrized bled afresh, and oh, how bitterly! She could not bear the
  • reproaches of the husband there before her. It couldn't be. Never,
  • never.
  • Poor Dobbin; poor old William! That unlucky word had undone the work
  • of many a year--the long laborious edifice of a life of love and
  • constancy--raised too upon what secret and hidden foundations, wherein
  • lay buried passions, uncounted struggles, unknown sacrifices--a little
  • word was spoken, and down fell the fair palace of hope--one word, and
  • away flew the bird which he had been trying all his life to lure!
  • William, though he saw by Amelia's looks that a great crisis had come,
  • nevertheless continued to implore Sedley, in the most energetic terms,
  • to beware of Rebecca; and he eagerly, almost frantically, adjured Jos
  • not to receive her. He besought Mr. Sedley to inquire at least
  • regarding her; told him how he had heard that she was in the company of
  • gamblers and people of ill repute; pointed out what evil she had done
  • in former days, how she and Crawley had misled poor George into ruin,
  • how she was now parted from her husband, by her own confession, and,
  • perhaps, for good reason. What a dangerous companion she would be for
  • his sister, who knew nothing of the affairs of the world! William
  • implored Jos, with all the eloquence which he could bring to bear, and
  • a great deal more energy than this quiet gentleman was ordinarily in
  • the habit of showing, to keep Rebecca out of his household.
  • Had he been less violent, or more dexterous, he might have succeeded in
  • his supplications to Jos; but the civilian was not a little jealous of
  • the airs of superiority which the Major constantly exhibited towards
  • him, as he fancied (indeed, he had imparted his opinions to Mr. Kirsch,
  • the courier, whose bills Major Dobbin checked on this journey, and who
  • sided with his master), and he began a blustering speech about his
  • competency to defend his own honour, his desire not to have his affairs
  • meddled with, his intention, in fine, to rebel against the Major, when
  • the colloquy--rather a long and stormy one--was put an end to in the
  • simplest way possible, namely, by the arrival of Mrs. Becky, with a
  • porter from the Elephant Hotel in charge of her very meagre baggage.
  • She greeted her host with affectionate respect and made a shrinking,
  • but amicable salutation to Major Dobbin, who, as her instinct assured
  • her at once, was her enemy, and had been speaking against her; and the
  • bustle and clatter consequent upon her arrival brought Amelia out of
  • her room. Emmy went up and embraced her guest with the greatest
  • warmth, and took no notice of the Major, except to fling him an angry
  • look--the most unjust and scornful glance that had perhaps ever
  • appeared in that poor little woman's face since she was born. But she
  • had private reasons of her own, and was bent upon being angry with him.
  • And Dobbin, indignant at the injustice, not at the defeat, went off,
  • making her a bow quite as haughty as the killing curtsey with which the
  • little woman chose to bid him farewell.
  • He being gone, Emmy was particularly lively and affectionate to
  • Rebecca, and bustled about the apartments and installed her guest in
  • her room with an eagerness and activity seldom exhibited by our placid
  • little friend. But when an act of injustice is to be done, especially
  • by weak people, it is best that it should be done quickly, and Emmy
  • thought she was displaying a great deal of firmness and proper feeling
  • and veneration for the late Captain Osborne in her present behaviour.
  • Georgy came in from the fetes for dinner-time and found four covers
  • laid as usual; but one of the places was occupied by a lady, instead of
  • by Major Dobbin. "Hullo! where's Dob?" the young gentleman asked with
  • his usual simplicity of language. "Major Dobbin is dining out, I
  • suppose," his mother said, and, drawing the boy to her, kissed him a
  • great deal, and put his hair off his forehead, and introduced him to
  • Mrs. Crawley. "This is my boy, Rebecca," Mrs. Osborne said--as much as
  • to say--can the world produce anything like that? Becky looked at him
  • with rapture and pressed his hand fondly. "Dear boy!" she said--"he is
  • just like my--" Emotion choked her further utterance, but Amelia
  • understood, as well as if she had spoken, that Becky was thinking of
  • her own blessed child. However, the company of her friend consoled
  • Mrs. Crawley, and she ate a very good dinner.
  • During the repast, she had occasion to speak several times, when Georgy
  • eyed her and listened to her. At the desert Emmy was gone out to
  • superintend further domestic arrangements; Jos was in his great chair
  • dozing over Galignani; Georgy and the new arrival sat close to each
  • other--he had continued to look at her knowingly more than once, and at
  • last he laid down the nutcrackers.
  • "I say," said Georgy.
  • "What do you say?" Becky said, laughing.
  • "You're the lady I saw in the mask at the Rouge et Noir."
  • "Hush! you little sly creature," Becky said, taking up his hand and
  • kissing it. "Your uncle was there too, and Mamma mustn't know."
  • "Oh, no--not by no means," answered the little fellow.
  • "You see we are quite good friends already," Becky said to Emmy, who
  • now re-entered; and it must be owned that Mrs. Osborne had introduced a
  • most judicious and amiable companion into her house.
  • William, in a state of great indignation, though still unaware of all
  • the treason that was in store for him, walked about the town wildly
  • until he fell upon the Secretary of Legation, Tapeworm, who invited him
  • to dinner. As they were discussing that meal, he took occasion to ask
  • the Secretary whether he knew anything about a certain Mrs. Rawdon
  • Crawley, who had, he believed, made some noise in London; and then
  • Tapeworm, who of course knew all the London gossip, and was besides a
  • relative of Lady Gaunt, poured out into the astonished Major's ears
  • such a history about Becky and her husband as astonished the querist,
  • and supplied all the points of this narrative, for it was at that very
  • table years ago that the present writer had the pleasure of hearing the
  • tale. Tufto, Steyne, the Crawleys, and their history--everything
  • connected with Becky and her previous life passed under the record of
  • the bitter diplomatist. He knew everything and a great deal besides,
  • about all the world--in a word, he made the most astounding revelations
  • to the simple-hearted Major. When Dobbin said that Mrs. Osborne and
  • Mr. Sedley had taken her into their house, Tapeworm burst into a peal
  • of laughter which shocked the Major, and asked if they had not better
  • send into the prison and take in one or two of the gentlemen in shaved
  • heads and yellow jackets who swept the streets of Pumpernickel, chained
  • in pairs, to board and lodge, and act as tutor to that little
  • scapegrace Georgy.
  • This information astonished and horrified the Major not a little. It
  • had been agreed in the morning (before meeting with Rebecca) that
  • Amelia should go to the Court ball that night. There would be the
  • place where he should tell her. The Major went home, and dressed
  • himself in his uniform, and repaired to Court, in hopes to see Mrs.
  • Osborne. She never came. When he returned to his lodgings all the
  • lights in the Sedley tenement were put out. He could not see her till
  • the morning. I don't know what sort of a night's rest he had with this
  • frightful secret in bed with him.
  • At the earliest convenient hour in the morning he sent his servant
  • across the way with a note, saying that he wished very particularly to
  • speak with her. A message came back to say that Mrs. Osborne was
  • exceedingly unwell and was keeping her room.
  • She, too, had been awake all that night. She had been thinking of a
  • thing which had agitated her mind a hundred times before. A hundred
  • times on the point of yielding, she had shrunk back from a sacrifice
  • which she felt was too much for her. She couldn't, in spite of his
  • love and constancy and her own acknowledged regard, respect, and
  • gratitude. What are benefits, what is constancy, or merit? One curl of
  • a girl's ringlet, one hair of a whisker, will turn the scale against
  • them all in a minute. They did not weigh with Emmy more than with other
  • women. She had tried them; wanted to make them pass; could not; and
  • the pitiless little woman had found a pretext, and determined to be
  • free.
  • When at length, in the afternoon, the Major gained admission to Amelia,
  • instead of the cordial and affectionate greeting, to which he had been
  • accustomed now for many a long day, he received the salutation of a
  • curtsey, and of a little gloved hand, retracted the moment after it was
  • accorded to him.
  • Rebecca, too, was in the room, and advanced to meet him with a smile
  • and an extended hand. Dobbin drew back rather confusedly, "I--I beg
  • your pardon, m'am," he said; "but I am bound to tell you that it is not
  • as your friend that I am come here now."
  • "Pooh! damn; don't let us have this sort of thing!" Jos cried out,
  • alarmed, and anxious to get rid of a scene.
  • "I wonder what Major Dobbin has to say against Rebecca?" Amelia said in
  • a low, clear voice with a slight quiver in it, and a very determined
  • look about the eyes.
  • "I will not have this sort of thing in my house," Jos again interposed.
  • "I say I will not have it; and Dobbin, I beg, sir, you'll stop it." And
  • he looked round, trembling and turning very red, and gave a great puff,
  • and made for his door.
  • "Dear friend!" Rebecca said with angelic sweetness, "do hear what Major
  • Dobbin has to say against me."
  • "I will not hear it, I say," squeaked out Jos at the top of his voice,
  • and, gathering up his dressing-gown, he was gone.
  • "We are only two women," Amelia said. "You can speak now, sir."
  • "This manner towards me is one which scarcely becomes you, Amelia," the
  • Major answered haughtily; "nor I believe am I guilty of habitual
  • harshness to women. It is not a pleasure to me to do the duty which I
  • am come to do."
  • "Pray proceed with it quickly, if you please, Major Dobbin," said
  • Amelia, who was more and more in a pet. The expression of Dobbin's
  • face, as she spoke in this imperious manner, was not pleasant.
  • "I came to say--and as you stay, Mrs. Crawley, I must say it in your
  • presence--that I think you--you ought not to form a member of the
  • family of my friends. A lady who is separated from her husband, who
  • travels not under her own name, who frequents public gaming-tables--"
  • "It was to the ball I went," cried out Becky.
  • "--is not a fit companion for Mrs. Osborne and her son," Dobbin went
  • on: "and I may add that there are people here who know you, and who
  • profess to know that regarding your conduct about which I don't even
  • wish to speak before--before Mrs. Osborne."
  • "Yours is a very modest and convenient sort of calumny, Major Dobbin,"
  • Rebecca said. "You leave me under the weight of an accusation which,
  • after all, is unsaid. What is it? Is it unfaithfulness to my husband? I
  • scorn it and defy anybody to prove it--I defy you, I say. My honour is
  • as untouched as that of the bitterest enemy who ever maligned me. Is
  • it of being poor, forsaken, wretched, that you accuse me? Yes, I am
  • guilty of those faults, and punished for them every day. Let me go,
  • Emmy. It is only to suppose that I have not met you, and I am no worse
  • to-day than I was yesterday. It is only to suppose that the night is
  • over and the poor wanderer is on her way. Don't you remember the song
  • we used to sing in old, dear old days? I have been wandering ever since
  • then--a poor castaway, scorned for being miserable, and insulted
  • because I am alone. Let me go: my stay here interferes with the plans
  • of this gentleman."
  • "Indeed it does, madam," said the Major. "If I have any authority in
  • this house--"
  • "Authority, none!" broke out Amelia "Rebecca, you stay with me. I
  • won't desert you because you have been persecuted, or insult you
  • because--because Major Dobbin chooses to do so. Come away, dear." And
  • the two women made towards the door.
  • William opened it. As they were going out, however, he took Amelia's
  • hand and said--"Will you stay a moment and speak to me?"
  • "He wishes to speak to you away from me," said Becky, looking like a
  • martyr. Amelia gripped her hand in reply.
  • "Upon my honour it is not about you that I am going to speak," Dobbin
  • said. "Come back, Amelia," and she came. Dobbin bowed to Mrs.
  • Crawley, as he shut the door upon her. Amelia looked at him, leaning
  • against the glass: her face and her lips were quite white.
  • "I was confused when I spoke just now," the Major said after a pause,
  • "and I misused the word authority."
  • "You did," said Amelia with her teeth chattering.
  • "At least I have claims to be heard," Dobbin continued.
  • "It is generous to remind me of our obligations to you," the woman
  • answered.
  • "The claims I mean are those left me by George's father," William said.
  • "Yes, and you insulted his memory. You did yesterday. You know you
  • did. And I will never forgive you. Never!" said Amelia. She shot out
  • each little sentence in a tremor of anger and emotion.
  • "You don't mean that, Amelia?" William said sadly. "You don't mean that
  • these words, uttered in a hurried moment, are to weigh against a whole
  • life's devotion? I think that George's memory has not been injured by
  • the way in which I have dealt with it, and if we are come to bandying
  • reproaches, I at least merit none from his widow and the mother of his
  • son. Reflect, afterwards when--when you are at leisure, and your
  • conscience will withdraw this accusation. It does even now." Amelia
  • held down her head.
  • "It is not that speech of yesterday," he continued, "which moves you.
  • That is but the pretext, Amelia, or I have loved you and watched you
  • for fifteen years in vain. Have I not learned in that time to read all
  • your feelings and look into your thoughts? I know what your heart is
  • capable of: it can cling faithfully to a recollection and cherish a
  • fancy, but it can't feel such an attachment as mine deserves to mate
  • with, and such as I would have won from a woman more generous than you.
  • No, you are not worthy of the love which I have devoted to you. I knew
  • all along that the prize I had set my life on was not worth the
  • winning; that I was a fool, with fond fancies, too, bartering away my
  • all of truth and ardour against your little feeble remnant of love. I
  • will bargain no more: I withdraw. I find no fault with you. You are
  • very good-natured, and have done your best, but you couldn't--you
  • couldn't reach up to the height of the attachment which I bore you, and
  • which a loftier soul than yours might have been proud to share.
  • Good-bye, Amelia! I have watched your struggle. Let it end. We are
  • both weary of it."
  • Amelia stood scared and silent as William thus suddenly broke the chain
  • by which she held him and declared his independence and superiority.
  • He had placed himself at her feet so long that the poor little woman
  • had been accustomed to trample upon him. She didn't wish to marry him,
  • but she wished to keep him. She wished to give him nothing, but that
  • he should give her all. It is a bargain not unfrequently levied in
  • love.
  • William's sally had quite broken and cast her down. HER assault was
  • long since over and beaten back.
  • "Am I to understand then, that you are going--away, William?" she said.
  • He gave a sad laugh. "I went once before," he said, "and came back
  • after twelve years. We were young then, Amelia. Good-bye. I have
  • spent enough of my life at this play."
  • Whilst they had been talking, the door into Mrs. Osborne's room had
  • opened ever so little; indeed, Becky had kept a hold of the handle and
  • had turned it on the instant when Dobbin quitted it, and she heard
  • every word of the conversation that had passed between these two. "What
  • a noble heart that man has," she thought, "and how shamefully that
  • woman plays with it!" She admired Dobbin; she bore him no rancour for
  • the part he had taken against her. It was an open move in the game,
  • and played fairly. "Ah!" she thought, "if I could have had such a
  • husband as that--a man with a heart and brains too! I would not have
  • minded his large feet"; and running into her room, she absolutely
  • bethought herself of something, and wrote him a note, beseeching him to
  • stop for a few days--not to think of going--and that she could serve
  • him with A.
  • The parting was over. Once more poor William walked to the door and
  • was gone; and the little widow, the author of all this work, had her
  • will, and had won her victory, and was left to enjoy it as she best
  • might. Let the ladies envy her triumph.
  • At the romantic hour of dinner, Mr. Georgy made his appearance and
  • again remarked the absence of "Old Dob." The meal was eaten in silence
  • by the party. Jos's appetite not being diminished, but Emmy taking
  • nothing at all.
  • After the meal, Georgy was lolling in the cushions of the old window, a
  • large window, with three sides of glass abutting from the gable, and
  • commanding on one side the market-place, where the Elephant is, his
  • mother being busy hard by, when he remarked symptoms of movement at the
  • Major's house on the other side of the street.
  • "Hullo!" said he, "there's Dob's trap--they are bringing it out of the
  • court-yard." The "trap" in question was a carriage which the Major had
  • bought for six pounds sterling, and about which they used to rally him
  • a good deal.
  • Emmy gave a little start, but said nothing.
  • "Hullo!" Georgy continued, "there's Francis coming out with the
  • portmanteaus, and Kunz, the one-eyed postilion, coming down the market
  • with three schimmels. Look at his boots and yellow jacket--ain't he a
  • rum one? Why--they're putting the horses to Dob's carriage. Is he going
  • anywhere?"
  • "Yes," said Emmy, "he is going on a journey."
  • "Going on a journey; and when is he coming back?"
  • "He is--not coming back," answered Emmy.
  • "Not coming back!" cried out Georgy, jumping up. "Stay here, sir,"
  • roared out Jos. "Stay, Georgy," said his mother with a very sad face.
  • The boy stopped, kicked about the room, jumped up and down from the
  • window-seat with his knees, and showed every symptom of uneasiness and
  • curiosity.
  • The horses were put to. The baggage was strapped on. Francis came out
  • with his master's sword, cane, and umbrella tied up together, and laid
  • them in the well, and his desk and old tin cocked-hat case, which he
  • placed under the seat. Francis brought out the stained old blue cloak
  • lined with red camlet, which had wrapped the owner up any time these
  • fifteen years, and had manchen Sturm erlebt, as a favourite song of
  • those days said. It had been new for the campaign of Waterloo and had
  • covered George and William after the night of Quatre Bras.
  • Old Burcke, the landlord of the lodgings, came out, then Francis, with
  • more packages--final packages--then Major William--Burcke wanted to
  • kiss him. The Major was adored by all people with whom he had to do.
  • It was with difficulty he could escape from this demonstration of
  • attachment.
  • "By Jove, I will go!" screamed out George. "Give him this," said
  • Becky, quite interested, and put a paper into the boy's hand. He had
  • rushed down the stairs and flung across the street in a minute--the
  • yellow postilion was cracking his whip gently.
  • William had got into the carriage, released from the embraces of his
  • landlord. George bounded in afterwards, and flung his arms round the
  • Major's neck (as they saw from the window), and began asking him
  • multiplied questions. Then he felt in his waistcoat pocket and gave
  • him a note. William seized at it rather eagerly, he opened it
  • trembling, but instantly his countenance changed, and he tore the paper
  • in two and dropped it out of the carriage. He kissed Georgy on the
  • head, and the boy got out, doubling his fists into his eyes, and with
  • the aid of Francis. He lingered with his hand on the panel. Fort,
  • Schwager! The yellow postilion cracked his whip prodigiously, up
  • sprang Francis to the box, away went the schimmels, and Dobbin with his
  • head on his breast. He never looked up as they passed under Amelia's
  • window, and Georgy, left alone in the street, burst out crying in the
  • face of all the crowd.
  • Emmy's maid heard him howling again during the night and brought him
  • some preserved apricots to console him. She mingled her lamentations
  • with his. All the poor, all the humble, all honest folks, all good men
  • who knew him, loved that kind-hearted and simple gentleman.
  • As for Emmy, had she not done her duty? She had her picture of George
  • for a consolation.
  • CHAPTER LXVII
  • Which Contains Births, Marriages, and Deaths
  • Whatever Becky's private plan might be by which Dobbin's true love was
  • to be crowned with success, the little woman thought that the secret
  • might keep, and indeed, being by no means so much interested about
  • anybody's welfare as about her own, she had a great number of things
  • pertaining to herself to consider, and which concerned her a great deal
  • more than Major Dobbin's happiness in this life.
  • She found herself suddenly and unexpectedly in snug comfortable
  • quarters, surrounded by friends, kindness, and good-natured simple
  • people such as she had not met with for many a long day; and, wanderer
  • as she was by force and inclination, there were moments when rest was
  • pleasant to her. As the most hardened Arab that ever careered across
  • the desert over the hump of a dromedary likes to repose sometimes under
  • the date-trees by the water, or to come into the cities, walk into the
  • bazaars, refresh himself in the baths, and say his prayers in the
  • mosques, before he goes out again marauding, so Jos's tents and pilau
  • were pleasant to this little Ishmaelite. She picketed her steed, hung
  • up her weapons, and warmed herself comfortably by his fire. The halt
  • in that roving, restless life was inexpressibly soothing and pleasant
  • to her.
  • So, pleased herself, she tried with all her might to please everybody;
  • and we know that she was eminent and successful as a practitioner in
  • the art of giving pleasure. As for Jos, even in that little interview
  • in the garret at the Elephant Inn, she had found means to win back a
  • great deal of his good-will. In the course of a week, the civilian was
  • her sworn slave and frantic admirer. He didn't go to sleep after
  • dinner, as his custom was in the much less lively society of Amelia.
  • He drove out with Becky in his open carriage. He asked little parties
  • and invented festivities to do her honour.
  • Tapeworm, the Charge d'Affaires, who had abused her so cruelly, came to
  • dine with Jos, and then came every day to pay his respects to Becky.
  • Poor Emmy, who was never very talkative, and more glum and silent than
  • ever after Dobbin's departure, was quite forgotten when this superior
  • genius made her appearance. The French Minister was as much charmed
  • with her as his English rival. The German ladies, never particularly
  • squeamish as regards morals, especially in English people, were
  • delighted with the cleverness and wit of Mrs. Osborne's charming
  • friend, and though she did not ask to go to Court, yet the most august
  • and Transparent Personages there heard of her fascinations and were
  • quite curious to know her. When it became known that she was noble, of
  • an ancient English family, that her husband was a Colonel of the Guard,
  • Excellenz and Governor of an island, only separated from his lady by
  • one of those trifling differences which are of little account in a
  • country where Werther is still read and the Wahlverwandtschaften of
  • Goethe is considered an edifying moral book, nobody thought of refusing
  • to receive her in the very highest society of the little Duchy; and the
  • ladies were even more ready to call her du and to swear eternal
  • friendship for her than they had been to bestow the same inestimable
  • benefits upon Amelia. Love and Liberty are interpreted by those simple
  • Germans in a way which honest folks in Yorkshire and Somersetshire
  • little understand, and a lady might, in some philosophic and civilized
  • towns, be divorced ever so many times from her respective husbands and
  • keep her character in society. Jos's house never was so pleasant since
  • he had a house of his own as Rebecca caused it to be. She sang, she
  • played, she laughed, she talked in two or three languages, she brought
  • everybody to the house, and she made Jos believe that it was his own
  • great social talents and wit which gathered the society of the place
  • round about him.
  • As for Emmy, who found herself not in the least mistress of her own
  • house, except when the bills were to be paid, Becky soon discovered the
  • way to soothe and please her. She talked to her perpetually about
  • Major Dobbin sent about his business, and made no scruple of declaring
  • her admiration for that excellent, high-minded gentleman, and of
  • telling Emmy that she had behaved most cruelly regarding him. Emmy
  • defended her conduct and showed that it was dictated only by the purest
  • religious principles; that a woman once, &c., and to such an angel as
  • him whom she had had the good fortune to marry, was married forever;
  • but she had no objection to hear the Major praised as much as ever
  • Becky chose to praise him, and indeed, brought the conversation round
  • to the Dobbin subject a score of times every day.
  • Means were easily found to win the favour of Georgy and the servants.
  • Amelia's maid, it has been said, was heart and soul in favour of the
  • generous Major. Having at first disliked Becky for being the means of
  • dismissing him from the presence of her mistress, she was reconciled to
  • Mrs. Crawley subsequently, because the latter became William's most
  • ardent admirer and champion. And in those nightly conclaves in which
  • the two ladies indulged after their parties, and while Miss Payne was
  • "brushing their 'airs," as she called the yellow locks of the one and
  • the soft brown tresses of the other, this girl always put in her word
  • for that dear good gentleman Major Dobbin. Her advocacy did not make
  • Amelia angry any more than Rebecca's admiration of him. She made
  • George write to him constantly and persisted in sending Mamma's kind
  • love in a postscript. And as she looked at her husband's portrait of
  • nights, it no longer reproached her--perhaps she reproached it, now
  • William was gone.
  • Emmy was not very happy after her heroic sacrifice. She was very
  • distraite, nervous, silent, and ill to please. The family had never
  • known her so peevish. She grew pale and ill. She used to try to sing
  • certain songs ("Einsam bin ich nicht alleine," was one of them, that
  • tender love-song of Weber's which in old-fashioned days, young ladies,
  • and when you were scarcely born, showed that those who lived before you
  • knew too how to love and to sing) certain songs, I say, to which the
  • Major was partial; and as she warbled them in the twilight in the
  • drawing-room, she would break off in the midst of the song, and walk
  • into her neighbouring apartment, and there, no doubt, take refuge in
  • the miniature of her husband.
  • Some books still subsisted, after Dobbin's departure, with his name
  • written in them; a German dictionary, for instance, with "William
  • Dobbin, --th Reg.," in the fly-leaf; a guide-book with his initials;
  • and one or two other volumes which belonged to the Major. Emmy cleared
  • these away and put them on the drawers, where she placed her work-box,
  • her desk, her Bible, and prayer-book, under the pictures of the two
  • Georges. And the Major, on going away, having left his gloves behind
  • him, it is a fact that Georgy, rummaging his mother's desk some time
  • afterwards, found the gloves neatly folded up and put away in what they
  • call the secret-drawers of the desk.
  • Not caring for society, and moping there a great deal, Emmy's chief
  • pleasure in the summer evenings was to take long walks with Georgy
  • (during which Rebecca was left to the society of Mr. Joseph), and then
  • the mother and son used to talk about the Major in a way which even
  • made the boy smile. She told him that she thought Major William was
  • the best man in all the world--the gentlest and the kindest, the
  • bravest and the humblest. Over and over again she told him how they
  • owed everything which they possessed in the world to that kind friend's
  • benevolent care of them; how he had befriended them all through their
  • poverty and misfortunes; watched over them when nobody cared for them;
  • how all his comrades admired him though he never spoke of his own
  • gallant actions; how Georgy's father trusted him beyond all other men,
  • and had been constantly befriended by the good William. "Why, when
  • your papa was a little boy," she said, "he often told me that it was
  • William who defended him against a tyrant at the school where they
  • were; and their friendship never ceased from that day until the last,
  • when your dear father fell."
  • "Did Dobbin kill the man who killed Papa?" Georgy said. "I'm sure he
  • did, or he would if he could have caught him, wouldn't he, Mother? When
  • I'm in the Army, won't I hate the French?--that's all."
  • In such colloquies the mother and the child passed a great deal of
  • their time together. The artless woman had made a confidant of the
  • boy. He was as much William's friend as everybody else who knew him
  • well.
  • By the way, Mrs. Becky, not to be behind hand in sentiment, had got a
  • miniature too hanging up in her room, to the surprise and amusement of
  • most people, and the delight of the original, who was no other than our
  • friend Jos. On her first coming to favour the Sedleys with a visit,
  • the little woman, who had arrived with a remarkably small shabby kit,
  • was perhaps ashamed of the meanness of her trunks and bandboxes, and
  • often spoke with great respect about her baggage left behind at
  • Leipzig, which she must have from that city. When a traveller talks to
  • you perpetually about the splendour of his luggage, which he does not
  • happen to have with him, my son, beware of that traveller! He is, ten
  • to one, an impostor.
  • Neither Jos nor Emmy knew this important maxim. It seemed to them of
  • no consequence whether Becky had a quantity of very fine clothes in
  • invisible trunks; but as her present supply was exceedingly shabby,
  • Emmy supplied her out of her own stores, or took her to the best
  • milliner in the town and there fitted her out. It was no more torn
  • collars now, I promise you, and faded silks trailing off at the
  • shoulder. Becky changed her habits with her situation in life--the
  • rouge-pot was suspended--another excitement to which she had accustomed
  • herself was also put aside, or at least only indulged in in privacy, as
  • when she was prevailed on by Jos of a summer evening, Emmy and the boy
  • being absent on their walks, to take a little spirit-and-water. But if
  • she did not indulge--the courier did: that rascal Kirsch could not be
  • kept from the bottle, nor could he tell how much he took when he
  • applied to it. He was sometimes surprised himself at the way in which
  • Mr. Sedley's Cognac diminished. Well, well, this is a painful subject.
  • Becky did not very likely indulge so much as she used before she
  • entered a decorous family.
  • At last the much-bragged-about boxes arrived from Leipzig; three of
  • them not by any means large or splendid; nor did Becky appear to take
  • out any sort of dresses or ornaments from the boxes when they did
  • arrive. But out of one, which contained a mass of her papers (it was
  • that very box which Rawdon Crawley had ransacked in his furious hunt
  • for Becky's concealed money), she took a picture with great glee, which
  • she pinned up in her room, and to which she introduced Jos. It was the
  • portrait of a gentleman in pencil, his face having the advantage of
  • being painted up in pink. He was riding on an elephant away from some
  • cocoa-nut trees and a pagoda: it was an Eastern scene.
  • "God bless my soul, it is my portrait," Jos cried out. It was he
  • indeed, blooming in youth and beauty, in a nankeen jacket of the cut of
  • 1804. It was the old picture that used to hang up in Russell Square.
  • "I bought it," said Becky in a voice trembling with emotion; "I went to
  • see if I could be of any use to my kind friends. I have never parted
  • with that picture--I never will."
  • "Won't you?" Jos cried with a look of unutterable rapture and
  • satisfaction. "Did you really now value it for my sake?"
  • "You know I did, well enough," said Becky; "but why speak--why
  • think--why look back! It is too late now!"
  • That evening's conversation was delicious for Jos. Emmy only came in to
  • go to bed very tired and unwell. Jos and his fair guest had a charming
  • tete-a-tete, and his sister could hear, as she lay awake in her
  • adjoining chamber, Rebecca singing over to Jos the old songs of 1815.
  • He did not sleep, for a wonder, that night, any more than Amelia.
  • It was June, and, by consequence, high season in London; Jos, who read
  • the incomparable Galignani (the exile's best friend) through every day,
  • used to favour the ladies with extracts from his paper during their
  • breakfast. Every week in this paper there is a full account of
  • military movements, in which Jos, as a man who had seen service, was
  • especially interested. On one occasion he read out--"Arrival of the
  • --th regiment. Gravesend, June 20.--The Ramchunder, East Indiaman,
  • came into the river this morning, having on board 14 officers, and 132
  • rank and file of this gallant corps. They have been absent from
  • England fourteen years, having been embarked the year after Waterloo,
  • in which glorious conflict they took an active part, and having
  • subsequently distinguished themselves in the Burmese war. The veteran
  • colonel, Sir Michael O'Dowd, K.C.B., with his lady and sister, landed
  • here yesterday, with Captains Posky, Stubble, Macraw, Malony;
  • Lieutenants Smith, Jones, Thompson, F. Thomson; Ensigns Hicks and
  • Grady; the band on the pier playing the national anthem, and the crowd
  • loudly cheering the gallant veterans as they went into Wayte's hotel,
  • where a sumptuous banquet was provided for the defenders of Old
  • England. During the repast, which we need not say was served up in
  • Wayte's best style, the cheering continued so enthusiastically that
  • Lady O'Dowd and the Colonel came forward to the balcony and drank the
  • healths of their fellow-countrymen in a bumper of Wayte's best claret."
  • On a second occasion Jos read a brief announcement--Major Dobbin had
  • joined the --th regiment at Chatham; and subsequently he promulgated
  • accounts of the presentations at the Drawing-room of Colonel Sir
  • Michael O'Dowd, K.C.B., Lady O'Dowd (by Mrs. Malloy Malony of
  • Ballymalony), and Miss Glorvina O'Dowd (by Lady O'Dowd). Almost
  • directly after this, Dobbin's name appeared among the Lieutenant-Colonels:
  • for old Marshal Tiptoff had died during the passage of the
  • --th from Madras, and the Sovereign was pleased to advance Colonel Sir
  • Michael O'Dowd to the rank of Major-General on his return to England,
  • with an intimation that he should be Colonel of the distinguished
  • regiment which he had so long commanded.
  • Amelia had been made aware of some of these movements. The
  • correspondence between George and his guardian had not ceased by any
  • means: William had even written once or twice to her since his
  • departure, but in a manner so unconstrainedly cold that the poor woman
  • felt now in her turn that she had lost her power over him and that, as
  • he had said, he was free. He had left her, and she was wretched. The
  • memory of his almost countless services, and lofty and affectionate
  • regard, now presented itself to her and rebuked her day and night. She
  • brooded over those recollections according to her wont, saw the purity
  • and beauty of the affection with which she had trifled, and reproached
  • herself for having flung away such a treasure.
  • It was gone indeed. William had spent it all out. He loved her no
  • more, he thought, as he had loved her. He never could again. That sort
  • of regard, which he had proffered to her for so many faithful years,
  • can't be flung down and shattered and mended so as to show no scars.
  • The little heedless tyrant had so destroyed it. No, William thought
  • again and again, "It was myself I deluded and persisted in cajoling;
  • had she been worthy of the love I gave her, she would have returned it
  • long ago. It was a fond mistake. Isn't the whole course of life made
  • up of such? And suppose I had won her, should I not have been
  • disenchanted the day after my victory? Why pine, or be ashamed of my
  • defeat?" The more he thought of this long passage of his life, the more
  • clearly he saw his deception. "I'll go into harness again," he said,
  • "and do my duty in that state of life in which it has pleased Heaven to
  • place me. I will see that the buttons of the recruits are properly
  • bright and that the sergeants make no mistakes in their accounts. I
  • will dine at mess and listen to the Scotch surgeon telling his stories.
  • When I am old and broken, I will go on half-pay, and my old sisters
  • shall scold me. I have geliebt und gelebet, as the girl in
  • 'Wallenstein' says. I am done. Pay the bills and get me a cigar:
  • find out what there is at the play to-night, Francis; to-morrow we
  • cross by the Batavier." He made the above speech, whereof Francis only
  • heard the last two lines, pacing up and down the Boompjes at Rotterdam.
  • The Batavier was lying in the basin. He could see the place on the
  • quarter-deck where he and Emmy had sat on the happy voyage out. What
  • had that little Mrs. Crawley to say to him? Psha; to-morrow we will put
  • to sea, and return to England, home, and duty!
  • After June all the little Court Society of Pumpernickel used to
  • separate, according to the German plan, and make for a hundred
  • watering-places, where they drank at the wells, rode upon donkeys,
  • gambled at the redoutes if they had money and a mind, rushed with
  • hundreds of their kind to gourmandise at the tables d'hote, and idled
  • away the summer. The English diplomatists went off to Teoplitz and
  • Kissingen, their French rivals shut up their chancellerie and whisked
  • away to their darling Boulevard de Gand. The Transparent reigning
  • family took too to the waters, or retired to their hunting lodges.
  • Everybody went away having any pretensions to politeness, and of
  • course, with them, Doctor von Glauber, the Court Doctor, and his
  • Baroness. The seasons for the baths were the most productive periods
  • of the Doctor's practice--he united business with pleasure, and his
  • chief place of resort was Ostend, which is much frequented by Germans,
  • and where the Doctor treated himself and his spouse to what he called a
  • "dib" in the sea.
  • His interesting patient, Jos, was a regular milch-cow to the Doctor,
  • and he easily persuaded the civilian, both for his own health's sake
  • and that of his charming sister, which was really very much shattered,
  • to pass the summer at that hideous seaport town. Emmy did not care
  • where she went much. Georgy jumped at the idea of a move. As for
  • Becky, she came as a matter of course in the fourth place inside of the
  • fine barouche Mr. Jos had bought, the two domestics being on the box in
  • front. She might have some misgivings about the friends whom she should
  • meet at Ostend, and who might be likely to tell ugly stories--but bah!
  • she was strong enough to hold her own. She had cast such an anchor in
  • Jos now as would require a strong storm to shake. That incident of the
  • picture had finished him. Becky took down her elephant and put it into
  • the little box which she had had from Amelia ever so many years ago.
  • Emmy also came off with her Lares--her two pictures--and the party,
  • finally, were, lodged in an exceedingly dear and uncomfortable house at
  • Ostend.
  • There Amelia began to take baths and get what good she could from them,
  • and though scores of people of Becky's acquaintance passed her and cut
  • her, yet Mrs. Osborne, who walked about with her, and who knew nobody,
  • was not aware of the treatment experienced by the friend whom she had
  • chosen so judiciously as a companion; indeed, Becky never thought fit
  • to tell her what was passing under her innocent eyes.
  • Some of Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's acquaintances, however, acknowledged her
  • readily enough,--perhaps more readily than she would have desired.
  • Among those were Major Loder (unattached), and Captain Rook (late of
  • the Rifles), who might be seen any day on the Dike, smoking and staring
  • at the women, and who speedily got an introduction to the hospitable
  • board and select circle of Mr. Joseph Sedley. In fact they would take
  • no denial; they burst into the house whether Becky was at home or not,
  • walked into Mrs. Osborne's drawing-room, which they perfumed with their
  • coats and mustachios, called Jos "Old buck," and invaded his
  • dinner-table, and laughed and drank for long hours there.
  • "What can they mean?" asked Georgy, who did not like these gentlemen.
  • "I heard the Major say to Mrs. Crawley yesterday, 'No, no, Becky, you
  • shan't keep the old buck to yourself. We must have the bones in, or,
  • dammy, I'll split.' What could the Major mean, Mamma?"
  • "Major! don't call him Major!" Emmy said. "I'm sure I can't tell what
  • he meant." His presence and that of his friend inspired the little lady
  • with intolerable terror and aversion. They paid her tipsy compliments;
  • they leered at her over the dinner-table. And the Captain made her
  • advances that filled her with sickening dismay, nor would she ever see
  • him unless she had George by her side.
  • Rebecca, to do her justice, never would let either of these men remain
  • alone with Amelia; the Major was disengaged too, and swore he would be
  • the winner of her. A couple of ruffians were fighting for this innocent
  • creature, gambling for her at her own table, and though she was not
  • aware of the rascals' designs upon her, yet she felt a horror and
  • uneasiness in their presence and longed to fly.
  • She besought, she entreated Jos to go. Not he. He was slow of
  • movement, tied to his Doctor, and perhaps to some other leading-strings.
  • At least Becky was not anxious to go to England.
  • At last she took a great resolution--made the great plunge. She wrote
  • off a letter to a friend whom she had on the other side of the water, a
  • letter about which she did not speak a word to anybody, which she
  • carried herself to the post under her shawl; nor was any remark made
  • about it, only that she looked very much flushed and agitated when
  • Georgy met her, and she kissed him, and hung over him a great deal that
  • night. She did not come out of her room after her return from her
  • walk. Becky thought it was Major Loder and the Captain who frightened
  • her.
  • "She mustn't stop here," Becky reasoned with herself. "She must go
  • away, the silly little fool. She is still whimpering after that gaby
  • of a husband--dead (and served right!) these fifteen years. She shan't
  • marry either of these men. It's too bad of Loder. No; she shall marry
  • the bamboo cane, I'll settle it this very night."
  • So Becky took a cup of tea to Amelia in her private apartment and found
  • that lady in the company of her miniatures, and in a most melancholy
  • and nervous condition. She laid down the cup of tea.
  • "Thank you," said Amelia.
  • "Listen to me, Amelia," said Becky, marching up and down the room
  • before the other and surveying her with a sort of contemptuous
  • kindness. "I want to talk to you. You must go away from here and from
  • the impertinences of these men. I won't have you harassed by them:
  • and they will insult you if you stay. I tell you they are rascals: men
  • fit to send to the hulks. Never mind how I know them. I know
  • everybody. Jos can't protect you; he is too weak and wants a protector
  • himself. You are no more fit to live in the world than a baby in arms.
  • You must marry, or you and your precious boy will go to ruin. You must
  • have a husband, you fool; and one of the best gentlemen I ever saw has
  • offered you a hundred times, and you have rejected him, you silly,
  • heartless, ungrateful little creature!"
  • "I tried--I tried my best, indeed I did, Rebecca," said Amelia
  • deprecatingly, "but I couldn't forget--"; and she finished the sentence
  • by looking up at the portrait.
  • "Couldn't forget HIM!" cried out Becky, "that selfish humbug, that
  • low-bred cockney dandy, that padded booby, who had neither wit, nor
  • manners, nor heart, and was no more to be compared to your friend with
  • the bamboo cane than you are to Queen Elizabeth. Why, the man was
  • weary of you, and would have jilted you, but that Dobbin forced him to
  • keep his word. He owned it to me. He never cared for you. He used to
  • sneer about you to me, time after time, and made love to me the week
  • after he married you."
  • "It's false! It's false! Rebecca," cried out Amelia, starting up.
  • "Look there, you fool," Becky said, still with provoking good humour,
  • and taking a little paper out of her belt, she opened it and flung it
  • into Emmy's lap. "You know his handwriting. He wrote that to
  • me--wanted me to run away with him--gave it me under your nose, the day
  • before he was shot--and served him right!" Becky repeated.
  • Emmy did not hear her; she was looking at the letter. It was that which
  • George had put into the bouquet and given to Becky on the night of the
  • Duchess of Richmond's ball. It was as she said: the foolish young man
  • had asked her to fly.
  • Emmy's head sank down, and for almost the last time in which she shall
  • be called upon to weep in this history, she commenced that work. Her
  • head fell to her bosom, and her hands went up to her eyes; and there
  • for a while, she gave way to her emotions, as Becky stood on and
  • regarded her. Who shall analyse those tears and say whether they were
  • sweet or bitter? Was she most grieved because the idol of her life was
  • tumbled down and shivered at her feet, or indignant that her love had
  • been so despised, or glad because the barrier was removed which modesty
  • had placed between her and a new, a real affection? "There is nothing
  • to forbid me now," she thought. "I may love him with all my heart now.
  • Oh, I will, I will, if he will but let me and forgive me." I believe it
  • was this feeling rushed over all the others which agitated that gentle
  • little bosom.
  • Indeed, she did not cry so much as Becky expected--the other soothed
  • and kissed her--a rare mark of sympathy with Mrs. Becky. She treated
  • Emmy like a child and patted her head. "And now let us get pen and ink
  • and write to him to come this minute," she said.
  • "I--I wrote to him this morning," Emmy said, blushing exceedingly.
  • Becky screamed with laughter--"Un biglietto," she sang out with Rosina,
  • "eccolo qua!"--the whole house echoed with her shrill singing.
  • Two mornings after this little scene, although the day was rainy and
  • gusty, and Amelia had had an exceedingly wakeful night, listening to
  • the wind roaring, and pitying all travellers by land and by water, yet
  • she got up early and insisted upon taking a walk on the Dike with
  • Georgy; and there she paced as the rain beat into her face, and she
  • looked out westward across the dark sea line and over the swollen
  • billows which came tumbling and frothing to the shore. Neither spoke
  • much, except now and then, when the boy said a few words to his timid
  • companion, indicative of sympathy and protection.
  • "I hope he won't cross in such weather," Emmy said.
  • "I bet ten to one he does," the boy answered. "Look, Mother, there's
  • the smoke of the steamer." It was that signal, sure enough.
  • But though the steamer was under way, he might not be on board; he
  • might not have got the letter; he might not choose to come. A hundred
  • fears poured one over the other into the little heart, as fast as the
  • waves on to the Dike.
  • The boat followed the smoke into sight. Georgy had a dandy telescope
  • and got the vessel under view in the most skilful manner. And he made
  • appropriate nautical comments upon the manner of the approach of the
  • steamer as she came nearer and nearer, dipping and rising in the water.
  • The signal of an English steamer in sight went fluttering up to the
  • mast on the pier. I daresay Mrs. Amelia's heart was in a similar
  • flutter.
  • Emmy tried to look through the telescope over George's shoulder, but
  • she could make nothing of it. She only saw a black eclipse bobbing up
  • and down before her eyes.
  • George took the glass again and raked the vessel. "How she does pitch!"
  • he said. "There goes a wave slap over her bows. There's only two
  • people on deck besides the steersman. There's a man lying down, and
  • a--chap in a--cloak with a--Hooray!--it's Dob, by Jingo!" He clapped to
  • the telescope and flung his arms round his mother. As for that lady,
  • let us say what she did in the words of a favourite poet--"Dakruoen
  • gelasasa." She was sure it was William. It could be no other. What
  • she had said about hoping that he would not come was all hypocrisy. Of
  • course he would come; what could he do else but come? She knew he would
  • come.
  • The ship came swiftly nearer and nearer. As they went in to meet her
  • at the landing-place at the quay, Emmy's knees trembled so that she
  • scarcely could run. She would have liked to kneel down and say her
  • prayers of thanks there. Oh, she thought, she would be all her life
  • saying them!
  • It was such a bad day that as the vessel came alongside of the quay
  • there were no idlers abroad, scarcely even a commissioner on the look
  • out for the few passengers in the steamer. That young scapegrace
  • George had fled too, and as the gentleman in the old cloak lined with
  • red stuff stepped on to the shore, there was scarcely any one present
  • to see what took place, which was briefly this:
  • A lady in a dripping white bonnet and shawl, with her two little hands
  • out before her, went up to him, and in the next minute she had
  • altogether disappeared under the folds of the old cloak, and was
  • kissing one of his hands with all her might; whilst the other, I
  • suppose, was engaged in holding her to his heart (which her head just
  • about reached) and in preventing her from tumbling down. She was
  • murmuring something about--forgive--dear William--dear, dear, dearest
  • friend--kiss, kiss, kiss, and so forth--and in fact went on under the
  • cloak in an absurd manner.
  • When Emmy emerged from it, she still kept tight hold of one of
  • William's hands, and looked up in his face. It was full of sadness and
  • tender love and pity. She understood its reproach and hung down her
  • head.
  • "It was time you sent for me, dear Amelia," he said.
  • "You will never go again, William?"
  • "No, never," he answered, and pressed the dear little soul once more to
  • his heart.
  • As they issued out of the custom-house precincts, Georgy broke out on
  • them, with his telescope up to his eye, and a loud laugh of welcome; he
  • danced round the couple and performed many facetious antics as he led
  • them up to the house. Jos wasn't up yet; Becky not visible (though she
  • looked at them through the blinds). Georgy ran off to see about
  • breakfast. Emmy, whose shawl and bonnet were off in the passage in the
  • hands of Mrs. Payne, now went to undo the clasp of William's cloak,
  • and--we will, if you please, go with George, and look after breakfast
  • for the Colonel. The vessel is in port. He has got the prize he has
  • been trying for all his life. The bird has come in at last. There it
  • is with its head on his shoulder, billing and cooing close up to his
  • heart, with soft outstretched fluttering wings. This is what he has
  • asked for every day and hour for eighteen years. This is what he pined
  • after. Here it is--the summit, the end--the last page of the third
  • volume. Good-bye, Colonel--God bless you, honest William!--Farewell,
  • dear Amelia--Grow green again, tender little parasite, round the rugged
  • old oak to which you cling!
  • Perhaps it was compunction towards the kind and simple creature, who
  • had been the first in life to defend her, perhaps it was a dislike to
  • all such sentimental scenes--but Rebecca, satisfied with her part in
  • the transaction, never presented herself before Colonel Dobbin and the
  • lady whom he married. "Particular business," she said, took her to
  • Bruges, whither she went, and only Georgy and his uncle were present at
  • the marriage ceremony. When it was over, and Georgy had rejoined his
  • parents, Mrs. Becky returned (just for a few days) to comfort the
  • solitary bachelor, Joseph Sedley. He preferred a continental life, he
  • said, and declined to join in housekeeping with his sister and her
  • husband.
  • Emmy was very glad in her heart to think that she had written to her
  • husband before she read or knew of that letter of George's. "I knew it
  • all along," William said; "but could I use that weapon against the poor
  • fellow's memory? It was that which made me suffer so when you--"
  • "Never speak of that day again," Emmy cried out, so contrite and humble
  • that William turned off the conversation by his account of Glorvina and
  • dear old Peggy O'Dowd, with whom he was sitting when the letter of
  • recall reached him. "If you hadn't sent for me," he added with a
  • laugh, "who knows what Glorvina's name might be now?"
  • At present it is Glorvina Posky (now Mrs. Major Posky); she took him on
  • the death of his first wife, having resolved never to marry out of the
  • regiment. Lady O'Dowd is also so attached to it that, she says, if
  • anything were to happen to Mick, bedad she'd come back and marry some
  • of 'em. But the Major-General is quite well and lives in great
  • splendour at O'Dowdstown, with a pack of beagles, and (with the
  • exception of perhaps their neighbour, Hoggarty of Castle Hoggarty) he
  • is the first man of his county. Her Ladyship still dances jigs, and
  • insisted on standing up with the Master of the Horse at the Lord
  • Lieutenant's last ball. Both she and Glorvina declared that Dobbin had
  • used the latter SHEAMFULLY, but Posky falling in, Glorvina was
  • consoled, and a beautiful turban from Paris appeased the wrath of Lady
  • O'Dowd.
  • When Colonel Dobbin quitted the service, which he did immediately after
  • his marriage, he rented a pretty little country place in Hampshire, not
  • far from Queen's Crawley, where, after the passing of the Reform Bill,
  • Sir Pitt and his family constantly resided now. All idea of a Peerage
  • was out of the question, the Baronet's two seats in Parliament being
  • lost. He was both out of pocket and out of spirits by that
  • catastrophe, failed in his health, and prophesied the speedy ruin of
  • the Empire.
  • Lady Jane and Mrs. Dobbin became great friends--there was a perpetual
  • crossing of pony-chaises between the Hall and the Evergreens, the
  • Colonel's place (rented of his friend Major Ponto, who was abroad with
  • his family). Her Ladyship was godmother to Mrs. Dobbin's child, which
  • bore her name, and was christened by the Rev. James Crawley, who
  • succeeded his father in the living: and a pretty close friendship
  • subsisted between the two lads, George and Rawdon, who hunted and shot
  • together in the vacations, were both entered of the same college at
  • Cambridge, and quarrelled with each other about Lady Jane's daughter,
  • with whom they were both, of course, in love. A match between George
  • and that young lady was long a favourite scheme of both the matrons,
  • though I have heard that Miss Crawley herself inclined towards her
  • cousin.
  • Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's name was never mentioned by either family. There
  • were reasons why all should be silent regarding her. For wherever Mr.
  • Joseph Sedley went, she travelled likewise, and that infatuated man
  • seemed to be entirely her slave. The Colonel's lawyers informed him
  • that his brother-in-law had effected a heavy insurance upon his life,
  • whence it was probable that he had been raising money to discharge
  • debts. He procured prolonged leave of absence from the East India
  • House, and indeed, his infirmities were daily increasing.
  • On hearing the news about the insurance, Amelia, in a good deal of
  • alarm, entreated her husband to go to Brussels, where Jos then was, and
  • inquire into the state of his affairs. The Colonel quitted home with
  • reluctance (for he was deeply immersed in his History of the Punjaub
  • which still occupies him, and much alarmed about his little daughter,
  • whom he idolizes, and who was just recovering from the chicken-pox) and
  • went to Brussels and found Jos living at one of the enormous hotels in
  • that city. Mrs. Crawley, who had her carriage, gave entertainments,
  • and lived in a very genteel manner, occupied another suite of
  • apartments in the same hotel.
  • The Colonel, of course, did not desire to see that lady, or even think
  • proper to notify his arrival at Brussels, except privately to Jos by a
  • message through his valet. Jos begged the Colonel to come and see him
  • that night, when Mrs. Crawley would be at a soiree, and when they could
  • meet alone. He found his brother-in-law in a condition of pitiable
  • infirmity--and dreadfully afraid of Rebecca, though eager in his
  • praises of her. She tended him through a series of unheard-of
  • illnesses with a fidelity most admirable. She had been a daughter to
  • him. "But--but--oh, for God's sake, do come and live near me,
  • and--and--see me sometimes," whimpered out the unfortunate man.
  • The Colonel's brow darkened at this. "We can't, Jos," he said.
  • "Considering the circumstances, Amelia can't visit you."
  • "I swear to you--I swear to you on the Bible," gasped out Joseph,
  • wanting to kiss the book, "that she is as innocent as a child, as
  • spotless as your own wife."
  • "It may be so," said the Colonel gloomily, "but Emmy can't come to you.
  • Be a man, Jos: break off this disreputable connection. Come home to
  • your family. We hear your affairs are involved."
  • "Involved!" cried Jos. "Who has told such calumnies? All my money is
  • placed out most advantageously. Mrs. Crawley--that is--I mean--it is
  • laid out to the best interest."
  • "You are not in debt, then? Why did you insure your life?"
  • "I thought--a little present to her--in case anything happened; and you
  • know my health is so delicate--common gratitude you know--and I intend
  • to leave all my money to you--and I can spare it out of my income,
  • indeed I can," cried out William's weak brother-in-law.
  • The Colonel besought Jos to fly at once--to go back to India, whither
  • Mrs. Crawley could not follow him; to do anything to break off a
  • connection which might have the most fatal consequences to him.
  • Jos clasped his hands and cried, "He would go back to India. He would
  • do anything, only he must have time: they mustn't say anything to Mrs.
  • Crawley--she'd--she'd kill me if she knew it. You don't know what a
  • terrible woman she is," the poor wretch said.
  • "Then, why not come away with me?" said Dobbin in reply; but Jos had
  • not the courage. "He would see Dobbin again in the morning; he must on
  • no account say that he had been there. He must go now. Becky might
  • come in." And Dobbin quitted him, full of forebodings.
  • He never saw Jos more. Three months afterwards Joseph Sedley died at
  • Aix-la-Chapelle. It was found that all his property had been muddled
  • away in speculations, and was represented by valueless shares in
  • different bubble companies. All his available assets were the two
  • thousand pounds for which his life was insured, and which were left
  • equally between his beloved "sister Amelia, wife of, &c., and his
  • friend and invaluable attendant during sickness, Rebecca, wife of
  • Lieutenant-Colonel Rawdon Crawley, C.B.," who was appointed
  • administratrix.
  • The solicitor of the insurance company swore it was the blackest case
  • that ever had come before him, talked of sending a commission to Aix to
  • examine into the death, and the Company refused payment of the policy.
  • But Mrs., or Lady Crawley, as she styled herself, came to town at once
  • (attended with her solicitors, Messrs. Burke, Thurtell, and Hayes, of
  • Thavies Inn) and dared the Company to refuse the payment. They invited
  • examination, they declared that she was the object of an infamous
  • conspiracy, which had been pursuing her all through life, and triumphed
  • finally. The money was paid, and her character established, but
  • Colonel Dobbin sent back his share of the legacy to the insurance
  • office and rigidly declined to hold any communication with Rebecca.
  • She never was Lady Crawley, though she continued so to call herself.
  • His Excellency Colonel Rawdon Crawley died of yellow fever at Coventry
  • Island, most deeply beloved and deplored, and six weeks before the
  • demise of his brother, Sir Pitt. The estate consequently devolved upon
  • the present Sir Rawdon Crawley, Bart.
  • He, too, has declined to see his mother, to whom he makes a liberal
  • allowance, and who, besides, appears to be very wealthy. The Baronet
  • lives entirely at Queen's Crawley, with Lady Jane and her daughter,
  • whilst Rebecca, Lady Crawley, chiefly hangs about Bath and Cheltenham,
  • where a very strong party of excellent people consider her to be a most
  • injured woman. She has her enemies. Who has not? Her life is her
  • answer to them. She busies herself in works of piety. She goes to
  • church, and never without a footman. Her name is in all the Charity
  • Lists. The destitute orange-girl, the neglected washerwoman, the
  • distressed muffin-man find in her a fast and generous friend. She is
  • always having stalls at Fancy Fairs for the benefit of these hapless
  • beings. Emmy, her children, and the Colonel, coming to London some
  • time back, found themselves suddenly before her at one of these fairs.
  • She cast down her eyes demurely and smiled as they started away from
  • her; Emmy scurrying off on the arm of George (now grown a dashing young
  • gentleman) and the Colonel seizing up his little Janey, of whom he is
  • fonder than of anything in the world--fonder even than of his History
  • of the Punjaub.
  • "Fonder than he is of me," Emmy thinks with a sigh. But he never said a
  • word to Amelia that was not kind and gentle, or thought of a want of
  • hers that he did not try to gratify.
  • Ah! Vanitas Vanitatum! which of us is happy in this world? Which of
  • us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?--come, children, let us
  • shut up the box and the puppets, for our play is played out.
  • End of Project Gutenberg's Vanity Fair, by William Makepeace Thackeray
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