- The Project Gutenberg EBook of Tortoises, by D. H. Lawrence
- This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
- almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
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- Title: Tortoises
- Author: D. H. Lawrence
- Release Date: August 31, 2007 [EBook #22475]
- Language: English
- *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TORTOISES ***
- Produced by David Widger
- TORTOISES
- By D. H. Lawrence
- NEW YORK
- THOMAS SELTZER
- 1921
- CONTENTS
- Baby Tortoise
- Tortoise-Shell
- Tortoise Family Connections
- Lui et Elle
- Tortoise Gallantry
- Tortoise Shout
- BABY TORTOISE
- You know what it is to be born alone,
- Baby tortoise!
- The first day to heave your feet little by little
- from the shell,
- Not yet awake,
- And remain lapsed on earth,
- Not quite alive.
- A tiny, fragile, half-animate bean.
- To open your tiny beak-mouth, that looks as if
- it would never open,
- Like some iron door;
- To lift the upper hawk-beak from the lower base
- And reach your skinny little neck
- And take your first bite at some dim bit of
- herbage,
- Alone, small insect,
- Tiny bright-eye,
- Slow one.
- To take your first solitary bite
- And move on your slow, solitary hunt.
- Your bright, dark little eye,
- Your eye of a dark disturbed night,
- Under its slow lid, tiny baby tortoise,
- So indomitable.
- No one ever heard you complain.
- You draw your head forward, slowly, from your
- little wimple
- And set forward, slow-dragging, on your four-
- pinned toes,
- Rowing slowly forward.
- Whither away, small bird?
- Rather like a baby working its limbs,
- Except that you make slow, ageless progress
- And a baby makes none.
- The touch of sun excites you,
- And the long ages, and the lingering chill
- Make you pause to yawn,
- Opening your impervious mouth,
- Suddenly beak-shaped, and very wide, like some
- suddenly gaping pincers;
- Soft red tongue, and hard thin gums,
- Then close the wedge of your little mountain
- front,
- Your face, baby tortoise.
- Do you wonder at the world, as slowly you turn
- your head in its wimple
- And look with laconic, black eyes?
- Or is sleep coming over you again,
- The non-life?
- You are so hard to wake.
- Are you able to wonder?
- Or is it just your indomitable will and pride of
- the first life
- Looking round
- And slowly pitching itself against the inertia
- Which had seemed invincible?
- The vast inanimate,
- And the fine brilliance of your so tiny eye.
- Challenger.
- Nay, tiny shell-bird,
- What a huge vast inanimate it is, that you must
- row against,
- What an incalculable inertia.
- Challenger.
- Little Ulysses, fore-runner,
- No bigger than my thumb-nail,
- Buon viaggio.
- All animate creation on your shoulder,
- Set forth, little Titan, under your battle-shield.
- The ponderous, preponderate,
- Inanimate universe;
- And you are slowly moving, pioneer, you alone.
- How vivid your travelling seems now, in the
- troubled sunshine,
- Stoic, Ulyssean atom;
- Suddenly hasty, reckless, on high toes.
- Voiceless little bird,
- Resting your head half out of your wimple
- In the slow dignity of your eternal pause.
- Alone, with no sense of being alone,
- And hence six times more solitary;
- Fulfilled of the slow passion of pitching through
- immemorial ages
- Your little round house in the midst of chaos.
- Over the garden earth,
- Small bird,
- Over the edge of all things.
- Traveller,
- With your tail tucked a little on one side
- Like a gentleman in a long-skirted coat.
- All life carried on your shoulder,
- Invincible fore-runner.
- The Cross, the Cross
- Goes deeper in than we know,
- Deeper into life;
- Right into the marrow
- And through the bone.
- TORTOISE-SHELL
- Along the back of the baby tortoise
- The scales are locked in an arch like a bridge,
- Scale-lapping, like a lobster's sections
- Or a bee's.
- Then crossways down his sides
- Tiger-stripes and wasp-bands.
- Five, and five again, and five again,
- And round the edges twenty-five little ones,
- The sections of the baby tortoise shell.
- Four, and a keystone;
- Four, and a keystone;
- Four, and a keystone;
- Then twenty-four, and a tiny little keystone.
- It needed Pythagoras to see life placing her
- counters on the living back
- Of the baby tortoise;
- Life establishing the first eternal mathematical
- tablet,
- Not in stone, like the Judean Lord, or bronze, but
- in life-clouded, life-rosy tortoise-shell.
- The first little mathematical gentleman
- Stepping, wee mite, in his loose trousers
- Under all the eternal dome of mathematical law.
- Fives, and tens,
- Threes and fours and twelves,
- All the volte face of decimals,
- The whirligig of dozens and the pinnacle of seven,
- Turn him on his back,
- The kicking little beetle,
- And there again, on his shell-tender, earth-touching
- belly,
- The long cleavage of division, upright of the
- eternal cross.
- And on either side count five,
- On each side, two above, on each side, two below
- The dark bar horizontal.
- It goes right through him, the sprottling insect,
- Through his cross-wise cloven psyche,
- Through his five-fold complex-nature.
- So turn him over on his toes again;
- Four pin-point toes, and a problematical thumb-
- piece,
- Four rowing limbs, and one wedge-balancing-
- head,
- Four and one makes five, which is the clue to all
- mathematics.
- The Lord wrote it all down on the little slate
- Of the baby tortoise.
- Outward and visible indication of the plan within,
- The complex, manifold involvedness of an
- individual creature
- Blotted out
- On this small bird, this rudiment,
- This little dome, this pediment
- Of all creation,
- This slow one.
- TORTOISE FAMILY CONNECTIONS
- On he goes, the little one,
- Bud of the universe,
- Pediment of life.
- Setting off somewhere, apparently.
- Whither away, brisk egg?
- His mother deposited him on the soil as if he were
- no more than droppings,
- And now he scuffles tinily past her as if she were
- an old rusty tin.
- A mere obstacle,
- He veers round the slow great mound of her.
- Tortoises always foresee obstacles.
- It is no use my saying to him in an emotional
- voice:
- "This is your Mother, she laid you when you were
- an egg."
- He does not even trouble to answer: "Woman,
- what have I to do with thee?"
- He wearily looks the other way,
- And she even more wearily looks another way
- still,
- Each with the utmost apathy,
- Incognizant,
- Unaware,
- Nothing.
- As for papa,
- He snaps when I offer him his offspring,
- Just as he snaps when I poke a bit of stick at him,
- Because he is irascible this morning, an irascible
- tortoise
- Being touched with love, and devoid of
- fatherliness.
- Father and mother,
- And three little brothers,
- And all rambling aimless, like little perambulating
- pebbles scattered in the garden,
- Not knowing each other from bits of earth or old
- tins.
- Except that papa and mama are old acquaintances,
- of course,
- But family feeling there is none, not even the
- beginnings.
- Fatherless, motherless, brotherless, sisterless
- Little tortoise.
- Row on then, small pebble,
- Over the clods of the autumn, wind-chilled
- sunshine,
- Young gayety.
- Does he look for a companion?
- No, no, don't think it.
- He doesn't know he is alone;
- Isolation is his birthright,
- This atom.
- To row forward, and reach himself tall on spiny
- toes,
- To travel, to burrow into a little loose earth,
- afraid of the night,
- To crop a little substance,
- To move, and to be quite sure that he is moving:
- Basta!
- To be a tortoise!
- Think of it, in a garden of inert clods
- A brisk, brindled little tortoise, all to himself--
- Croesus!
- In a garden of pebbles and insects
- To roam, and feel the slow heart beat
- Tortoise-wise, the first bell sounding
- From the warm blood, in the dark-creation
- morning.
- Moving, and being himself,
- Slow, and unquestioned,
- And inordinately there, O stoic!
- Wandering in the slow triumph of his own
- existence,
- Ringing the soundless bell of his presence in
- chaos,
- And biting the frail grass arrogantly,
- Decidedly arrogantly.
- LUI ET ELLE
- She is large and matronly
- And rather dirty,
- A little sardonic-looking, as if domesticity had
- driven her to it.
- Though what she does, except lay four eggs at
- random in the garden once a year
- And put up with her husband,
- I don't know.
- She likes to eat.
- She hurries up, striding reared on long uncanny
- legs,
- When food is going.
- Oh yes, she can make haste when she likes.
- She snaps the soft bread from my hand in great
- mouthfuls,
- Opening her rather pretty wedge of an iron,
- pristine face
- Into an enormously wide-beaked mouth
- Like sudden curved scissors,
- And gulping at more than she can swallow, and
- working her thick, soft tongue,
- And having the bread hanging over her chin.
- O Mistress, Mistress,
- Reptile mistress,
- Your eye is very dark, very bright,
- And it never softens
- Although you watch.
- She knows,
- She knows well enough to come for food,
- Yet she sees me not;
- Her bright eye sees, but not me, not anything,
- Sightful, sightless, seeing and visionless,
- Reptile mistress.
- Taking bread in her curved, gaping, toothless
- mouth,
- She has no qualm when she catches my finger in
- her steel overlapping gums,
- But she hangs on, and my shout and my shrinking
- are nothing to her,
- She does not even know she is nipping me with
- her curved beak.
- Snake-like she draws at my finger, while I drag
- it in horror away.
- Mistress, reptile mistress,
- You are almost too large, I am almost frightened.
- He is much smaller,
- Dapper beside her,
- And ridiculously small.
- Her laconic eye has an earthy, materialistic look,
- His, poor darling, is almost fiery.
- His wimple, his blunt-prowed face,
- His low forehead, his skinny neck, his long,
- scaled, striving legs,
- So striving, striving,
- Are all more delicate than she,
- And he has a cruel scar on his shell.
- Poor darling, biting at her feet,
- Running beside her like a dog, biting her earthy,
- splay feet,
- Nipping her ankles,
- Which she drags apathetic away, though without
- retreating into her shell.
- Agelessly silent,
- And with a grim, reptile determination,
- Cold, voiceless age-after-age behind him,
- serpents' long obstinacy
- Of horizontal persistence.
- Little old man
- Scuffling beside her, bending down, catching his
- opportunity,
- Parting his steel-trap face, so suddenly, and
- seizing her scaly ankle,
- And hanging grimly on,
- Letting go at last as she drags away,
- And closing his steel-trap face.
- His steel-trap, stoic, ageless, handsome face.
- Alas, what a fool he looks in this scuffle.
- And how he feels it!
- The lonely rambler, the stoic, dignified stalker
- through chaos,
- The immune, the animate,
- Enveloped in isolation,
- Forerunner.
- Now look at him!
- Alas, the spear is through the side of his isolation.
- His adolescence saw him crucified into sex,
- Doomed, in the long crucifixion of desire, to seek
- his consummation beyond himself.
- Divided into passionate duality,
- He, so finished and immune, now broken into
- desirous fragmentariness,
- Doomed to make an intolerable fool of himself
- In his effort toward completion again.
- Poor little earthy house-inhabiting Osiris,
- The mysterious bull tore him at adolescence into
- pieces,
- And he must struggle after reconstruction,
- ignominiously.
- And so behold him following the tail
- Of that mud-hovel of his slowly-rambling spouse,
- Like some unhappy bull at the tail of a cow,
- But with more than bovine, grim, earth-dank
- persistence,
- Suddenly seizing the ugly ankle as she stretches
- out to walk,
- Roaming over the sods,
- Or, if it happen to show, at her pointed, heavy tail
- Beneath the low-dropping back-board of her shell.
- Their two shells like doomed boats bumping,
- Hers huge, his small;
- Their splay feet rambling and rowing like
- paddles,
- And stumbling mixed up in one another,
- In the race of love--
- Two tortoises,
- She huge, he small.
- She seems earthily apathetic,
- And he has a reptile's awful persistence.
- I heard a woman pitying her, pitying the Mère
- Tortue.
- While I, I pity Monsieur.
- "He pesters her and torments her," said the
- woman.
- How much more is _he_ pestered and tormented,
- say I.
- What can he do?
- He is dumb, he is visionless,
- Conceptionless.
- His black, sad-lidded eye sees but beholds not
- As her earthen mound moves on,
- But he catches the folds of vulnerable, leathery
- skin,
- Nail-studded, that shake beneath her shell,
- And drags at these with his beak,
- Drags and drags and bites,
- While she pulls herself free, and rows her dull
- mound along.
- TORTOISE GALLANTRY
- Making his advances
- He does not look at her, nor sniff at her,
- No, not even sniff at her, his nose is blank.
- Only he senses the vulnerable folds of skin
- That work beneath her while she sprawls along
- In her ungainly pace,
- Her folds of skin that work and row
- Beneath the earth-soiled hovel in which she
- moves.
- And so he strains beneath her housey walls
- And catches her trouser-legs in his beak
- Suddenly, or her skinny limb,
- And strange and grimly drags at her
- Like a dog,
- Only agelessly silent, with a reptile's awful
- persistency.
- Grim, gruesome gallantry, to which he is doomed.
- Dragged out of an eternity of silent isolation
- And doomed to partiality, partial being,
- Ache, and want of being,
- Want,
- Self-exposure, hard humiliation, need to add
- himself on to her.
- Born to walk alone,
- Forerunner,
- Now suddenly distracted into this mazy
- sidetrack,
- This awkward, harrowing pursuit,
- This grim necessity from within.
- Does she know
- As she moves eternally slowly away?
- Or is he driven against her with a bang, like a bird
- flying in the dark against a window,
- All knowledgeless?
- The awful concussion,
- And the still more awful need to persist, to follow,
- follow, continue,
- Driven, after aeons of pristine, fore-god-like
- singleness and oneness,
- At the end of some mysterious, red-hot iron,
- Driven away from himself into her tracks,
- Forced to crash against her.
- Stiff, gallant, irascible, crook-legged reptile,
- Little gentleman,
- Sorry plight,
- We ought to look the other way.
- Save that, having come with you so far,
- We will go on to the end. J
- TORTOISE SHOUT
- I thought he was dumb,
- I said he was dumb,
- Yet I've heard him cry.
- First faint scream,
- Out of life's unfathomable dawn,
- Far off, so far, like a madness, under the horizon's
- dawning rim,
- Far, far off, far scream.
- Tortoise _in extremis_.
- Why were we crucified into sex?
- Why were we not left rounded off, and finished
- in ourselves,
- As we began,
- As he certainly began, so perfectly alone?
- A far, was-it-audible scream,
- Or did it sound on the plasm direct?
- Worse than the cry of the new-born,
- A scream,
- A yell,
- A shout,
- A pæan,
- A death-agony,
- A birth-cry,
- A submission,
- All tiny, tiny, far away, reptile under the first
- dawn.
- War-cry, triumph, acute-delight, death-scream
- reptilian,
- Why was the veil torn?
- The silken shriek of the soul's torn membrane?
- The male soul's membrane
- Torn with a shriek half music, half horror.
- Crucifixion.
- Male tortoise, cleaving behind the hovel-wall of
- that dense female,
- Mounted and tense, spread-eagle, out-reaching
- out of the shell
- In tortoise-nakedness,
- Long neck, and long vulnerable limbs extruded,
- spread-eagle over her house-roof,
- And the deep, secret, all-penetrating tail curved
- beneath her walls,
- Reaching and gripping tense, more reaching
- anguish in uttermost tension
- Till suddenly, in the spasm of coition, tupping
- like a jerking leap, and oh!
- Opening its clenched face from his outstretched
- neck
- And giving that fragile yell, that scream,
- Super-audible,
- From his pink, cleft, old-man's mouth,
- Giving up the ghost,
- Or screaming in Pentecost, receiving the ghost.
- His scream, and his moment's subsidence,
- The moment of eternal silence,
- Yet unreleased, and after the moment, the
- sudden, startling jerk of coition, and at once
- The inexpressible faint yell--
- And so on, till the last plasm of my body was
- melted back
- To the primeval rudiments of life, and the secret.
- So he tups, and screams
- Time after time that frail, torn scream
- After each jerk, the longish interval,
- The tortoise eternity,
- Agelong, reptilian persistence,
- Heart-throb, slow heart-throb, persistent for the
- next spasm.
- I remember, when I was a boy,
- I heard the scream of a frog, which was caught
- with his foot in the mouth of an up-starting
- snake;
- I remember when I first heard bull-frogs break
- into sound in the spring;
- I remember hearing a wild goose out of the throat
- of night
- Cry loudly, beyond the lake of waters;
- I remember the first time, out of a bush in the
- darkness, a nightingale's piercing cries and
- gurgles startled the depths of my soul;
- I remember the scream of a rabbit as I went
- through a wood at midnight;
- I remember the heifer in her heat, blorting and
- blorting through the hours, persistent and
- irrepressible;
- I remember my first terror hearing the howl of
- weird, amorous cats;
- I remember the scream of a terrified, injured
- horse, the sheet-lightning
- And running away from the sound of a woman in
- labor, something like an owl whooing,
- And listening inwardly to the first bleat of a
- lamb,
- The first wail of an infant,
- And my mother singing to herself,
- And the first tenor singing of the passionate
- throat of a young collier, who has long since
- drunk himself to death,
- The first elements of foreign speech
- On wild dark lips.
- And more than all these,
- And less than all these,
- This last,
- Strange, faint coition yell
- Of the male tortoise at extremity,
- Tiny from under the very edge of the farthest
- far-off horizon of life.
- The cross,
- The wheel on which our silence first is broken,
- Sex, which breaks up our integrity, our single
- inviolability, our deep silence
- Tearing a cry from us.
- Sex, which breaks us into voice, sets us calling
- across the deeps, calling, calling for the
- complement,
- Singing, and calling, and singing again, being
- answered, having found.
- Torn, to become whole again, after long seeking
- for what is lost,
- The same cry from the tortoise as from Christ,
- the Osiris-cry of abandonment,
- That which is whole, torn asunder,
- That which is in part, finding its whole again
- throughout the universe.
- End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Tortoises, by D. H. Lawrence
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