- The Project Gutenberg eBook, Sonnets from the Portuguese, by Elizabeth
- Barrett Browning
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- Title: Sonnets from the Portuguese
- Author: Elizabeth Barrett Browning
- Release Date: January 13, 2015 [eBook #2002]
- [This file was first posted on April 20, 1999]
- Language: English
- Character set encoding: UTF-8
- ***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SONNETS FROM THE PORTUGUESE***
- Transcribed from the 1906 Caradoc Press edition by David Price, email
- ccx074@pglaf.org
- [Picture: Book cover]
- SONNETS FROM THE
- PORTUGUESE
- * * * * *
- BY
- ELIZABETH
- BARRETT BROWNING
- * * * * *
- [Picture: Decorative graphic]
- THE CARADOC PRESS BEDFORD PARK
- CHISWICK LONDON MDCCCCVI
- INDEX OF FIRST LINES
- I I thought once how Theocritus had sung
- II But only three in all God’s universe
- III Unlike are we, unlike, O princely Heart!
- IV Thou hast thy calling to some palace-floor
- V I lift my heavy heart up solemnly
- VI Go from me. Yet I feel that I shall stand
- VII The face of all the world is changed, I think
- VIII What can I give thee back, O liberal
- IX Can it be right to give what I can give?
- X Yet, love, mere love, is beautiful indeed
- XI And therefore if to love can be desert
- XII Indeed this very love which is my boast
- XIII And wilt thou have me fashion into speech
- XIV If thou must love me, let it be for nought
- XV Accuse me not, beseech thee, that I wear
- XVI And yet, because thou overcomest so
- XVII My poet thou canst touch on all the notes
- XVIII I never gave a lock of hair away
- XIX The soul’s Rialto hath its merchandize
- XX Beloved, my beloved, when I think
- XXI Say over again, and yet once over again
- XXII When our two souls stand up erect and strong
- XXIII Is it indeed so? If I lay here dead
- XXIV Let the world’s sharpness like a clasping knife
- XXV A heavy heart, Beloved, have I borne
- XXVI I lived with visions for my company
- XXVII My own Beloved, who hast lifted me
- XXVIII My letters! all dead paper, mute and white!
- XXIX I think of thee!—my thoughts do twine and bud
- XXX I see thine image through my tears to-night
- XXXI Thou comest! all is said without a word
- XXXII The first time that the sun rose on thine oath
- XXXIII Yes, call me by my pet-name! let me hear
- XXXIV With the same heart, I said, I’ll answer thee
- XXXV If I leave all for thee, wilt thou exchange
- XXXVI When we met first and loved, I did not build
- XXXVII Pardon, oh, pardon, that my soul should make
- XXXVIII First time he kissed me, he but only kissed
- XXXIX Because thou hast the power and own’st the grace
- XL Oh, yes! they love through all this world of ours!
- XLI I thank all who have loved me in their hearts
- XLII My future will not copy fair my past
- XLIII How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
- XLIV Beloved, thou hast brought me many flowers
- I
- I thought once how Theocritus had sung
- Of the sweet years, the dear and wished-for years,
- Who each one in a gracious hand appears
- To bear a gift for mortals, old or young:
- And, as I mused it in his antique tongue,
- I saw, in gradual vision through my tears,
- The sweet, sad years, the melancholy years,
- Those of my own life, who by turns had flung
- A shadow across me. Straightway I was ’ware,
- So weeping, how a mystic Shape did move
- Behind me, and drew me backward by the hair;
- And a voice said in mastery, while I strove,—
- “Guess now who holds thee!”—“Death,” I said, But, there,
- The silver answer rang, “Not Death, but Love.”
- II
- But only three in all God’s universe
- Have heard this word thou hast said,—Himself, beside
- Thee speaking, and me listening! and replied
- One of us . . . that was God, . . . and laid the curse
- So darkly on my eyelids, as to amerce
- My sight from seeing thee,—that if I had died,
- The death-weights, placed there, would have signified
- Less absolute exclusion. “Nay” is worse
- From God than from all others, O my friend!
- Men could not part us with their worldly jars,
- Nor the seas change us, nor the tempests bend;
- Our hands would touch for all the mountain-bars:
- And, heaven being rolled between us at the end,
- We should but vow the faster for the stars.
- III
- Unlike are we, unlike, O princely Heart!
- Unlike our uses and our destinies.
- Our ministering two angels look surprise
- On one another, as they strike athwart
- Their wings in passing. Thou, bethink thee, art
- A guest for queens to social pageantries,
- With gages from a hundred brighter eyes
- Than tears even can make mine, to play thy part
- Of chief musician. What hast thou to do
- With looking from the lattice-lights at me,
- A poor, tired, wandering singer, singing through
- The dark, and leaning up a cypress tree?
- The chrism is on thine head,—on mine, the dew,—
- And Death must dig the level where these agree.
- IV
- Thou hast thy calling to some palace-floor,
- Most gracious singer of high poems! where
- The dancers will break footing, from the care
- Of watching up thy pregnant lips for more.
- And dost thou lift this house’s latch too poor
- For hand of thine? and canst thou think and bear
- To let thy music drop here unaware
- In folds of golden fulness at my door?
- Look up and see the casement broken in,
- The bats and owlets builders in the roof!
- My cricket chirps against thy mandolin.
- Hush, call no echo up in further proof
- Of desolation! there’s a voice within
- That weeps . . . as thou must sing . . . alone, aloof.
- V
- I lift my heavy heart up solemnly,
- As once Electra her sepulchral urn,
- And, looking in thine eyes, I over-turn
- The ashes at thy feet. Behold and see
- What a great heap of grief lay hid in me,
- And how the red wild sparkles dimly burn
- Through the ashen greyness. If thy foot in scorn
- Could tread them out to darkness utterly,
- It might be well perhaps. But if instead
- Thou wait beside me for the wind to blow
- The grey dust up, . . . those laurels on thine head,
- O my Belovëd, will not shield thee so,
- That none of all the fires shall scorch and shred
- The hair beneath. Stand further off then! go!
- VI
- Go from me. Yet I feel that I shall stand
- Henceforward in thy shadow. Nevermore
- Alone upon the threshold of my door
- Of individual life, I shall command
- The uses of my soul, nor lift my hand
- Serenely in the sunshine as before,
- Without the sense of that which I forbore—
- Thy touch upon the palm. The widest land
- Doom takes to part us, leaves thy heart in mine
- With pulses that beat double. What I do
- And what I dream include thee, as the wine
- Must taste of its own grapes. And when I sue
- God for myself, He hears that name of thine,
- And sees within my eyes the tears of two.
- VII
- The face of all the world is changed, I think,
- Since first I heard the footsteps of thy soul
- Move still, oh, still, beside me, as they stole
- Betwixt me and the dreadful outer brink
- Of obvious death, where I, who thought to sink,
- Was caught up into love, and taught the whole
- Of life in a new rhythm. The cup of dole
- God gave for baptism, I am fain to drink,
- And praise its sweetness, Sweet, with thee anear.
- The names of country, heaven, are changed away
- For where thou art or shalt be, there or here;
- And this . . . this lute and song . . . loved yesterday,
- (The singing angels know) are only dear
- Because thy name moves right in what they say.
- VIII
- What can I give thee back, O liberal
- And princely giver, who hast brought the gold
- And purple of thine heart, unstained, untold,
- And laid them on the outside of the wall
- For such as I to take or leave withal,
- In unexpected largesse? am I cold,
- Ungrateful, that for these most manifold
- High gifts, I render nothing back at all?
- Not so; not cold,—but very poor instead.
- Ask God who knows. For frequent tears have run
- The colours from my life, and left so dead
- And pale a stuff, it were not fitly done
- To give the same as pillow to thy head.
- Go farther! let it serve to trample on.
- IX
- Can it be right to give what I can give?
- To let thee sit beneath the fall of tears
- As salt as mine, and hear the sighing years
- Re-sighing on my lips renunciative
- Through those infrequent smiles which fail to live
- For all thy adjurations? O my fears,
- That this can scarce be right! We are not peers
- So to be lovers; and I own, and grieve,
- That givers of such gifts as mine are, must
- Be counted with the ungenerous. Out, alas!
- I will not soil thy purple with my dust,
- Nor breathe my poison on thy Venice-glass,
- Nor give thee any love—which were unjust.
- Beloved, I only love thee! let it pass.
- X
- Yet, love, mere love, is beautiful indeed
- And worthy of acceptation. Fire is bright,
- Let temple burn, or flax; an equal light
- Leaps in the flame from cedar-plank or weed:
- And love is fire. And when I say at need
- I love thee . . . mark! . . . I love thee—in thy sight
- I stand transfigured, glorified aright,
- With conscience of the new rays that proceed
- Out of my face toward thine. There’s nothing low
- In love, when love the lowest: meanest creatures
- Who love God, God accepts while loving so.
- And what I feel, across the inferior features
- Of what I am, doth flash itself, and show
- How that great work of Love enhances Nature’s.
- XI
- And therefore if to love can be desert,
- I am not all unworthy. Cheeks as pale
- As these you see, and trembling knees that fail
- To bear the burden of a heavy heart,—
- This weary minstrel-life that once was girt
- To climb Aornus, and can scarce avail
- To pipe now ’gainst the valley nightingale
- A melancholy music,—why advert
- To these things? O Belovëd, it is plain
- I am not of thy worth nor for thy place!
- And yet, because I love thee, I obtain
- From that same love this vindicating grace
- To live on still in love, and yet in vain,—
- To bless thee, yet renounce thee to thy face.
- XII
- Indeed this very love which is my boast,
- And which, when rising up from breast to brow,
- Doth crown me with a ruby large enow
- To draw men’s eyes and prove the inner cost,—
- This love even, all my worth, to the uttermost,
- I should not love withal, unless that thou
- Hadst set me an example, shown me how,
- When first thine earnest eyes with mine were crossed,
- And love called love. And thus, I cannot speak
- Of love even, as a good thing of my own:
- Thy soul hath snatched up mine all faint and weak,
- And placed it by thee on a golden throne,—
- And that I love (O soul, we must be meek!)
- Is by thee only, whom I love alone.
- XIII
- And wilt thou have me fashion into speech
- The love I bear thee, finding words enough,
- And hold the torch out, while the winds are rough,
- Between our faces, to cast light on each?—
- I drop it at thy feet. I cannot teach
- My hand to hold my spirits so far off
- From myself—me—that I should bring thee proof
- In words, of love hid in me out of reach.
- Nay, let the silence of my womanhood
- Commend my woman-love to thy belief,—
- Seeing that I stand unwon, however wooed,
- And rend the garment of my life, in brief,
- By a most dauntless, voiceless fortitude,
- Lest one touch of this heart convey its grief.
- XIV
- If thou must love me, let it be for nought
- Except for love’s sake only. Do not say
- “I love her for her smile—her look—her way
- Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
- That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
- A sense of pleasant ease on such a day”—
- For these things in themselves, Belovëd, may
- Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
- May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
- Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry,—
- A creature might forget to weep, who bore
- Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
- But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
- Thou may’st love on, through love’s eternity.
- XV
- Accuse me not, beseech thee, that I wear
- Too calm and sad a face in front of thine;
- For we two look two ways, and cannot shine
- With the same sunlight on our brow and hair.
- On me thou lookest with no doubting care,
- As on a bee shut in a crystalline;
- Since sorrow hath shut me safe in love’s divine,
- And to spread wing and fly in the outer air
- Were most impossible failure, if I strove
- To fail so. But I look on thee—on thee—
- Beholding, besides love, the end of love,
- Hearing oblivion beyond memory;
- As one who sits and gazes from above,
- Over the rivers to the bitter sea.
- XVI
- And yet, because thou overcomest so,
- Because thou art more noble and like a king,
- Thou canst prevail against my fears and fling
- Thy purple round me, till my heart shall grow
- Too close against thine heart henceforth to know
- How it shook when alone. Why, conquering
- May prove as lordly and complete a thing
- In lifting upward, as in crushing low!
- And as a vanquished soldier yields his sword
- To one who lifts him from the bloody earth,
- Even so, Belovëd, I at last record,
- Here ends my strife. If thou invite me forth,
- I rise above abasement at the word.
- Make thy love larger to enlarge my worth!
- XVII
- My poet, thou canst touch on all the notes
- God set between His After and Before,
- And strike up and strike off the general roar
- Of the rushing worlds a melody that floats
- In a serene air purely. Antidotes
- Of medicated music, answering for
- Mankind’s forlornest uses, thou canst pour
- From thence into their ears. God’s will devotes
- Thine to such ends, and mine to wait on thine.
- How, Dearest, wilt thou have me for most use?
- A hope, to sing by gladly? or a fine
- Sad memory, with thy songs to interfuse?
- A shade, in which to sing—of palm or pine?
- A grave, on which to rest from singing? Choose.
- XVIII
- I never gave a lock of hair away
- To a man, Dearest, except this to thee,
- Which now upon my fingers thoughtfully
- I ring out to the full brown length and say
- “Take it.” My day of youth went yesterday;
- My hair no longer bounds to my foot’s glee,
- Nor plant I it from rose- or myrtle-tree,
- As girls do, any more: it only may
- Now shade on two pale cheeks the mark of tears,
- Taught drooping from the head that hangs aside
- Through sorrow’s trick. I thought the funeral-shears
- Would take this first, but Love is justified,—
- Take it thou,—finding pure, from all those years,
- The kiss my mother left here when she died.
- XIX
- The soul’s Rialto hath its merchandize;
- I barter curl for curl upon that mart,
- And from my poet’s forehead to my heart
- Receive this lock which outweighs argosies,—
- As purply black, as erst to Pindar’s eyes
- The dim purpureal tresses gloomed athwart
- The nine white Muse-brows. For this counterpart, . . .
- The bay crown’s shade, Belovëd, I surmise,
- Still lingers on thy curl, it is so black!
- Thus, with a fillet of smooth-kissing breath,
- I tie the shadows safe from gliding back,
- And lay the gift where nothing hindereth;
- Here on my heart, as on thy brow, to lack
- No natural heat till mine grows cold in death.
- XX
- Belovëd, my Belovëd, when I think
- That thou wast in the world a year ago,
- What time I sat alone here in the snow
- And saw no footprint, heard the silence sink
- No moment at thy voice, but, link by link,
- Went counting all my chains as if that so
- They never could fall off at any blow
- Struck by thy possible hand,—why, thus I drink
- Of life’s great cup of wonder! Wonderful,
- Never to feel thee thrill the day or night
- With personal act or speech,—nor ever cull
- Some prescience of thee with the blossoms white
- Thou sawest growing! Atheists are as dull,
- Who cannot guess God’s presence out of sight.
- XXI
- Say over again, and yet once over again,
- That thou dost love me. Though the word repeated
- Should seem a “cuckoo-song,” as thou dost treat it,
- Remember, never to the hill or plain,
- Valley and wood, without her cuckoo-strain
- Comes the fresh Spring in all her green completed.
- Belovëd, I, amid the darkness greeted
- By a doubtful spirit-voice, in that doubt’s pain
- Cry, “Speak once more—thou lovest!” Who can fear
- Too many stars, though each in heaven shall roll,
- Too many flowers, though each shall crown the year?
- Say thou dost love me, love me, love me—toll
- The silver iterance!—only minding, Dear,
- To love me also in silence with thy soul.
- XXII
- When our two souls stand up erect and strong,
- Face to face, silent, drawing nigh and nigher,
- Until the lengthening wings break into fire
- At either curvëd point,—what bitter wrong
- Can the earth do to us, that we should not long
- Be here contented? Think! In mounting higher,
- The angels would press on us and aspire
- To drop some golden orb of perfect song
- Into our deep, dear silence. Let us stay
- Rather on earth, Belovëd,—where the unfit
- Contrarious moods of men recoil away
- And isolate pure spirits, and permit
- A place to stand and love in for a day,
- With darkness and the death-hour rounding it.
- XXIII
- Is it indeed so? If I lay here dead,
- Wouldst thou miss any life in losing mine?
- And would the sun for thee more coldly shine
- Because of grave-damps falling round my head?
- I marvelled, my Belovëd, when I read
- Thy thought so in the letter. I am thine—
- But . . . so much to thee? Can I pour thy wine
- While my hands tremble? Then my soul, instead
- Of dreams of death, resumes life’s lower range.
- Then, love me, Love! look on me—breathe on me!
- As brighter ladies do not count it strange,
- For love, to give up acres and degree,
- I yield the grave for thy sake, and exchange
- My near sweet view of heaven, for earth with thee!
- XXIV
- Let the world’s sharpness like a clasping knife
- Shut in upon itself and do no harm
- In this close hand of Love, now soft and warm,
- And let us hear no sound of human strife
- After the click of the shutting. Life to life—
- I lean upon thee, Dear, without alarm,
- And feel as safe as guarded by a charm
- Against the stab of worldlings, who if rife
- Are weak to injure. Very whitely still
- The lilies of our lives may reassure
- Their blossoms from their roots, accessible
- Alone to heavenly dews that drop not fewer;
- Growing straight, out of man’s reach, on the hill.
- God only, who made us rich, can make us poor.
- XXV
- A heavy heart, Belovëd, have I borne
- From year to year until I saw thy face,
- And sorrow after sorrow took the place
- Of all those natural joys as lightly worn
- As the stringed pearls, each lifted in its turn
- By a beating heart at dance-time. Hopes apace
- Were changed to long despairs, till God’s own grace
- Could scarcely lift above the world forlorn
- My heavy heart. Then thou didst bid me bring
- And let it drop adown thy calmly great
- Deep being! Fast it sinketh, as a thing
- Which its own nature does precipitate,
- While thine doth close above it, mediating
- Betwixt the stars and the unaccomplished fate.
- XXVI
- I lived with visions for my company
- Instead of men and women, years ago,
- And found them gentle mates, nor thought to know
- A sweeter music than they played to me.
- But soon their trailing purple was not free
- Of this world’s dust, their lutes did silent grow,
- And I myself grew faint and blind below
- Their vanishing eyes. Then thou didst come—to be,
- Belovëd, what they seemed. Their shining fronts,
- Their songs, their splendours, (better, yet the same,
- As river-water hallowed into fonts)
- Met in thee, and from out thee overcame
- My soul with satisfaction of all wants:
- Because God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.
- XXVII
- My own Belovëd, who hast lifted me
- From this drear flat of earth where I was thrown,
- And, in betwixt the languid ringlets, blown
- A life-breath, till the forehead hopefully
- Shines out again, as all the angels see,
- Before thy saving kiss! My own, my own,
- Who camest to me when the world was gone,
- And I who looked for only God, found thee!
- I find thee; I am safe, and strong, and glad.
- As one who stands in dewless asphodel,
- Looks backward on the tedious time he had
- In the upper life,—so I, with bosom-swell,
- Make witness, here, between the good and bad,
- That Love, as strong as Death, retrieves as well.
- XXVIII
- My letters! all dead paper, mute and white!
- And yet they seem alive and quivering
- Against my tremulous hands which loose the string
- And let them drop down on my knee to-night.
- This said,—he wished to have me in his sight
- Once, as a friend: this fixed a day in spring
- To come and touch my hand . . . a simple thing,
- Yet I wept for it!—this, . . . the paper’s light . . .
- Said, Dear I love thee; and I sank and quailed
- As if God’s future thundered on my past.
- This said, I am thine—and so its ink has paled
- With lying at my heart that beat too fast.
- And this . . . O Love, thy words have ill availed
- If, what this said, I dared repeat at last!
- XXIX
- I think of thee!—my thoughts do twine and bud
- About thee, as wild vines, about a tree,
- Put out broad leaves, and soon there’s nought to see
- Except the straggling green which hides the wood.
- Yet, O my palm-tree, be it understood
- I will not have my thoughts instead of thee
- Who art dearer, better! Rather, instantly
- Renew thy presence; as a strong tree should,
- Rustle thy boughs and set thy trunk all bare,
- And let these bands of greenery which insphere thee,
- Drop heavily down,—burst, shattered everywhere!
- Because, in this deep joy to see and hear thee
- And breathe within thy shadow a new air,
- I do not think of thee—I am too near thee.
- XXX
- I see thine image through my tears to-night,
- And yet to-day I saw thee smiling. How
- Refer the cause?—Belovëd, is it thou
- Or I, who makes me sad? The acolyte
- Amid the chanted joy and thankful rite
- May so fall flat, with pale insensate brow,
- On the altar-stair. I hear thy voice and vow,
- Perplexed, uncertain, since thou art out of sight,
- As he, in his swooning ears, the choir’s amen.
- Belovëd, dost thou love? or did I see all
- The glory as I dreamed, and fainted when
- Too vehement light dilated my ideal,
- For my soul’s eyes? Will that light come again,
- As now these tears come—falling hot and real?
- XXXI
- Thou comest! all is said without a word.
- I sit beneath thy looks, as children do
- In the noon-sun, with souls that tremble through
- Their happy eyelids from an unaverred
- Yet prodigal inward joy. Behold, I erred
- In that last doubt! and yet I cannot rue
- The sin most, but the occasion—that we two
- Should for a moment stand unministered
- By a mutual presence. Ah, keep near and close,
- Thou dove-like help! and when my fears would rise,
- With thy broad heart serenely interpose:
- Brood down with thy divine sufficiencies
- These thoughts which tremble when bereft of those,
- Like callow birds left desert to the skies.
- XXXII
- The first time that the sun rose on thine oath
- To love me, I looked forward to the moon
- To slacken all those bonds which seemed too soon
- And quickly tied to make a lasting troth.
- Quick-loving hearts, I thought, may quickly loathe;
- And, looking on myself, I seemed not one
- For such man’s love!—more like an out-of-tune
- Worn viol, a good singer would be wroth
- To spoil his song with, and which, snatched in haste,
- Is laid down at the first ill-sounding note.
- I did not wrong myself so, but I placed
- A wrong on thee. For perfect strains may float
- ’Neath master-hands, from instruments defaced,—
- And great souls, at one stroke, may do and doat.
- XXXIII
- Yes, call me by my pet-name! let me hear
- The name I used to run at, when a child,
- From innocent play, and leave the cowslips plied,
- To glance up in some face that proved me dear
- With the look of its eyes. I miss the clear
- Fond voices which, being drawn and reconciled
- Into the music of Heaven’s undefiled,
- Call me no longer. Silence on the bier,
- While I call God—call God!—so let thy mouth
- Be heir to those who are now exanimate.
- Gather the north flowers to complete the south,
- And catch the early love up in the late.
- Yes, call me by that name,—and I, in truth,
- With the same heart, will answer and not wait.
- XXXIV
- With the same heart, I said, I’ll answer thee
- As those, when thou shalt call me by my name—
- Lo, the vain promise! is the same, the same,
- Perplexed and ruffled by life’s strategy?
- When called before, I told how hastily
- I dropped my flowers or brake off from a game.
- To run and answer with the smile that came
- At play last moment, and went on with me
- Through my obedience. When I answer now,
- I drop a grave thought, break from solitude;
- Yet still my heart goes to thee—ponder how—
- Not as to a single good, but all my good!
- Lay thy hand on it, best one, and allow
- That no child’s foot could run fast as this blood.
- XXXV
- If I leave all for thee, wilt thou exchange
- And be all to me? Shall I never miss
- Home-talk and blessing and the common kiss
- That comes to each in turn, nor count it strange,
- When I look up, to drop on a new range
- Of walls and floors, another home than this?
- Nay, wilt thou fill that place by me which is
- Filled by dead eyes too tender to know change
- That’s hardest. If to conquer love, has tried,
- To conquer grief, tries more, as all things prove,
- For grief indeed is love and grief beside.
- Alas, I have grieved so I am hard to love.
- Yet love me—wilt thou? Open thy heart wide,
- And fold within, the wet wings of thy dove.
- XXXVI
- When we met first and loved, I did not build
- Upon the event with marble. Could it mean
- To last, a love set pendulous between
- Sorrow and sorrow? Nay, I rather thrilled,
- Distrusting every light that seemed to gild
- The onward path, and feared to overlean
- A finger even. And, though I have grown serene
- And strong since then, I think that God has willed
- A still renewable fear . . . O love, O troth . . .
- Lest these enclaspëd hands should never hold,
- This mutual kiss drop down between us both
- As an unowned thing, once the lips being cold.
- And Love, be false! if he, to keep one oath,
- Must lose one joy, by his life’s star foretold.
- XXXVII
- Pardon, oh, pardon, that my soul should make
- Of all that strong divineness which I know
- For thine and thee, an image only so
- Formed of the sand, and fit to shift and break.
- It is that distant years which did not take
- Thy sovranty, recoiling with a blow,
- Have forced my swimming brain to undergo
- Their doubt and dread, and blindly to forsake
- Thy purity of likeness and distort
- Thy worthiest love to a worthless counterfeit.
- As if a shipwrecked Pagan, safe in port,
- His guardian sea-god to commemorate,
- Should set a sculptured porpoise, gills a-snort
- And vibrant tail, within the temple-gate.
- XXXVIII
- First time he kissed me, he but only kissed
- The fingers of this hand wherewith I write;
- And ever since, it grew more clean and white.
- Slow to world-greetings, quick with its “O, list,”
- When the angels speak. A ring of amethyst
- I could not wear here, plainer to my sight,
- Than that first kiss. The second passed in height
- The first, and sought the forehead, and half missed,
- Half falling on the hair. O beyond meed!
- That was the chrism of love, which love’s own crown,
- With sanctifying sweetness, did precede
- The third upon my lips was folded down
- In perfect, purple state; since when, indeed,
- I have been proud and said, “My love, my own.”
- XXXIX
- Because thou hast the power and own’st the grace
- To look through and behind this mask of me,
- (Against which, years have beat thus blanchingly,
- With their rains,) and behold my soul’s true face,
- The dim and weary witness of life’s race,—
- Because thou hast the faith and love to see,
- Through that same soul’s distracting lethargy,
- The patient angel waiting for a place
- In the new Heavens,—because nor sin nor woe,
- Nor God’s infliction, nor death’s neighbourhood,
- Nor all which others viewing, turn to go,
- Nor all which makes me tired of all, self-viewed,—
- Nothing repels thee, . . . Dearest, teach me so
- To pour out gratitude, as thou dost, good!
- XL
- Oh, yes! they love through all this world of ours!
- I will not gainsay love, called love forsooth:
- I have heard love talked in my early youth,
- And since, not so long back but that the flowers
- Then gathered, smell still. Mussulmans and Giaours
- Throw kerchiefs at a smile, and have no ruth
- For any weeping. Polypheme’s white tooth
- Slips on the nut if, after frequent showers,
- The shell is over-smooth,—and not so much
- Will turn the thing called love, aside to hate
- Or else to oblivion. But thou art not such
- A lover, my Belovëd! thou canst wait
- Through sorrow and sickness, to bring souls to touch,
- And think it soon when others cry “Too late.”
- XLI
- I thank all who have loved me in their hearts,
- With thanks and love from mine. Deep thanks to all
- Who paused a little near the prison-wall
- To hear my music in its louder parts
- Ere they went onward, each one to the mart’s
- Or temple’s occupation, beyond call.
- But thou, who, in my voice’s sink and fall
- When the sob took it, thy divinest Art’s
- Own instrument didst drop down at thy foot
- To harken what I said between my tears, . . .
- Instruct me how to thank thee! Oh, to shoot
- My soul’s full meaning into future years,
- That they should lend it utterance, and salute
- Love that endures, from life that disappears!
- XLII
- My future will not copy fair my past—
- I wrote that once; and thinking at my side
- My ministering life-angel justified
- The word by his appealing look upcast
- To the white throne of God, I turned at last,
- And there, instead, saw thee, not unallied
- To angels in thy soul! Then I, long tried
- By natural ills, received the comfort fast,
- While budding, at thy sight, my pilgrim’s staff
- Gave out green leaves with morning dews impearled.
- I seek no copy now of life’s first half:
- Leave here the pages with long musing curled,
- And write me new my future’s epigraph,
- New angel mine, unhoped for in the world!
- XLIII
- How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
- I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
- My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
- For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
- I love thee to the level of everyday’s
- Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
- I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
- I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
- I love thee with the passion put to use
- In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
- I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
- With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
- Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
- I shall but love thee better after death.
- XLIV
- Belovëd, thou hast brought me many flowers
- Plucked in the garden, all the summer through,
- And winter, and it seemed as if they grew
- In this close room, nor missed the sun and showers.
- So, in the like name of that love of ours,
- Take back these thoughts which here unfolded too,
- And which on warm and cold days I withdrew
- From my heart’s ground. Indeed, those beds and bowers
- Be overgrown with bitter weeds and rue,
- And wait thy weeding; yet here’s eglantine,
- Here’s ivy!—take them, as I used to do
- Thy flowers, and keep them where they shall not pine.
- Instruct thine eyes to keep their colours true,
- And tell thy soul, their roots are left in mine.
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